Mental Illness Doesn’t Make You Special by Freddie Deboer

Mental Illness Doesn’t Make You Special by Freddie Deboer

Before I get to the link and excerpts to the essay by Deboer, which are below, I wanted to say this:

I had clinical depression for around 35 or more years (I was diagnosed by one psychiatrist, and it was verified by more psychiatrists as I got older and moved from state to state), I still have an anxiety disorder, and I used to have social anxiety disorder, so I know what it’s like to deal with mental health issues. I had to deal with these issues largely all by myself for years.

I also know that most people who’ve never had depression, anxiety, or any other type of emotional or mental health conditions are clueless about it, and they tend to be insensitive about it, or make insensitive comments and suggestions.

But in the last few years, I have seen people – usually people in their teens or 20s, and some of the adult, far left mental health professionals – almost act as though having depression (or whatever mental health condition) makes them unique little snowflakes and deserving of lots of attention and pity.

This attitude and behavior makes me want to barf.

I used to have a friend named Mary (not her real name) who I met online (who I now suspect is borderline – borderline personality disorder), and while I briefly mentioned to her early a time or two in in our friendship that I had depression for years, I never made a big fuss out of it, nor did I tell her for years that I also had suicidal ideation.

(I mentioned having depression to her a time or two after Mary began sharing with me that she had mental health issues.)

It was not something I was proud of.

I spent years researching depression and how to get rid of it. I also read up on tips on how to get rid of anxiety. I did not like having either condition. I did not use either as pity ploys or to get attention from others.

But this suspected BPD friend of mine, Mary – who was a drama queen – often would come on to our forum where we participated to complain about how life was so unfair, and she was going to kill herself.

I took her suicide threats seriously for many years – until around the 6th or 7th year of this. It was then that my intuition was telling me she was using such threats as attention-getters, as pity ploys.

It became a predictable pattern with her: about once every 8 to 9 months, she’d storm on to the forum complaining about how life was so terribly unfair, and how she was going to go kill herself.

So after several years of this, I stopped addressing Mary’s posts where she threatened suicide. Once I stopped doing that, she would come to the forum later, behave sheepishly, and admit she was being a drama queen and just wanted attention.

I do see more and more people in the past few years wearing their mental health problems like some kind of strange badge of honor.

They feel that having a mental health problem makes them “special,” “unique,” and they want attention and sympathy for it – this is never how I approached having anxiety and depression, so I find this very foreign, weird, and off-putting.

Unlike today’s mental health sufferers, I didn’t get a sense of identity or purpose from having depression or anxiety, either, nor did I want to, because that is not a healthy thing to do.

I also didn’t go around frequently, loudly, broadcasting all the time that I had depression and anxiety. When I did discuss it (online), it was under a pseudonym.

I have grown to dislike the word “neuro-divergent” that these people who act like fragile, attention-seeking snowflakes have developed. One can no longer just say that she “has depression” but one now is expected to say that she is “neuro divergent” or “not neuro typical.” It is to barf.

I’ve met people over my life, whether they have clinical depression, a personality disorder – whatever it may be – and some of them absolutely use their mental health problems (which may be accompanied by a personality disorder) to as a way to get attention and compassion from others.

It’s almost as though they don’t really want to be healed, be cured, and move on – no, they take a perverse sense of comfort in having whatever mental health problem, and they may even use it as an excuse about why they supposedly cannot get up and move on in life.

I’ve written posts on this topic before, so I won’t go into detail here, but during the years I had clinical depression and was very codependent (a people pleaser and a good listener),
I kept attracting other clinically depressed (or other types of troubled) people to me, and while I was there for these people, offering them months to years of emotional support, most of them offered me little to none in return. I’ve since learned to detach from such troubled people, which I’ve written of before in other posts.

(Link): Mental Illness Doesn’t Make You Special

Excerpts:

Why do neurodiversity activists claim suffering is beautiful?
BY FREDDIE DEBOER
April 29, 2022

Marianne Eloise wants the world to know that she does not “have a regular brain at all”. That’s her declaration, on the very first page of her new memoir, Obsessive, Intrusive, Magical Thinking.

The book catalogues her experience of a dizzying variety of psychiatric conditions: OCD, anxiety, autism, ADHD, alcohol abuse, seasonal affective disorder, an eating disorder, night terrors, depression.

By her own telling, Eloise has suffered a great deal from these ailments; I believe her, and wish better for her.

But she would prefer we not think of them as ailments at all. And that combination of self-pity and self-aggrandisement is emblematic of our contemporary understanding of mental health.

Continue reading “Mental Illness Doesn’t Make You Special by Freddie Deboer”

‘Fictosexual’ Man Married Hologram Bride, But Now Struggles to Bond With Her

‘Fictosexual’ Man Married Hologram Bride, But Now Struggles to Bond With Her

(Link): ‘Fictosexual’ man married hologram bride, but now struggles to bond with her

By Brooke Kato
April 26, 2022

She’s not real — but his feelings are.

A “fictosexual” man who wed a fictional, computer-synthesized pop singer four years ago said he’s now unable to communicate with his wife, but is still in love with her.

Akihiko Kondo, 38, was dating Hatsune Miku — depicted in pop culture as a 16-year-old with turquoise hair — for a decade before they had an unofficial wedding ceremony in 2018. Kondo — one of many who identifies as “fictosexual,” or someone who is sexually attracted to fictional characters — spent 2 million yen, or about $17,300, on the nuptials, but his family did not attend.

Now married for four years, Kondo, 38, said his relationship has hit a roadblock: He can no longer speak with Miku due to a technological hurdle, according to Japanese newspaper Mainichi.

Continue reading “‘Fictosexual’ Man Married Hologram Bride, But Now Struggles to Bond With Her”

The Psychology of Men Who Own Sex Dolls

The Psychology of Men Who Own Sex Dolls

I want to make so many jokes now, but I’ll be good and just copy pasta in the excerpts from the article.

(Link): The Psychology of Men Who Own Sex Dolls

Excerpts:

By Ross Pomeroy
February 24, 2022

…Given sex dolls’ ascent, psychologists at Nottingham Trent University in the United Kingdom, sought to learn more about the people who use them.

“We present the first analysis of the personality, sexual interest, and risk-related characteristics of sex doll owners,” they wrote in a new paper published to the Journal of Sex Research.

[The researchers interviewed some sex doll owners]

…What did these queries reveal?

“Sex doll owners were significantly more likely to see women as sex objects, to report greater sexual entitlement, and to see women as unknowable than non-owners,” the researchers reported. They also reported lower sexual self-esteem, although they were no more or less prone to sexual aggression, fantasizing about coercive sex, or to having issues with emotion and attachment.

Continue reading “The Psychology of Men Who Own Sex Dolls”

“I’m a Divorce Lawyer. Here Are The 5 Most Common Marriage Problems I See” by R. D. Palmer

“I’m a Divorce Lawyer. Here Are The 5 Most Common Marriage Problems I See”

(Link): “I’m a Divorce Lawyer. Here Are The 5 Most Common Marriage Problems I See”

Excerpts:

by Raiford Dalton Palmer
March 1, 2022

The advice I always give people about divorce is this: don’t get one. The best divorce is the one you never have, if you can avoid it.

… Here are some of the most common problems that I’ve seen in my law practice.

Infidelity
It seems like the most straightforward reason for a divorce: someone cheated.

But in my experience, infidelity is most often a symptom, not the disease. Apart from pathological cheaters who are in it for the thrill of sneaking around, in my experience with clients, most people cheat on their spouses because intimacy is lacking in their relationship. …

Continue reading ““I’m a Divorce Lawyer. Here Are The 5 Most Common Marriage Problems I See” by R. D. Palmer”

Investigators: 29 Year Old Male Driver Killed 64 Year Old Retired Michigan Woman for Sex Acts with Body

Investigators: 29 Year Old Male Driver Killed 64 Year Old Retired Michigan Woman for Sex Acts with Body

(Link): Man ‘mowed down jogger with his car before taking body away to have sex with it’

A man has been accused of intentionally mowing down a jogger with his car and then taking her dead body away to engage in sexual acts with it.

(Link): Michigan driver deliberately struck, killed retiree so he could have sex with her body

Feb 20, 2022
By Dom Calicchio, Fox News

A Michigan driver deliberately struck and killed a retired woman who was out on her daily walk so he could have sex with her body, authorities have alleged, according to reports.

The suspect, identified as Colby Martin, 29, of White Pigeon, Michigan, was arraigned Wednesday in Van Buren District Court on a newly filed murder charge, WMMT-TV of Grand Rapids reported.

Continue reading “Investigators: 29 Year Old Male Driver Killed 64 Year Old Retired Michigan Woman for Sex Acts with Body”

New York Post Headline: ’37-Year-Old Virgin Gets 6-Foot String Stuck in Penis During Botched Sex Game (“Sounding”)’ – Sexually Active Men With Partners Also Engage in “Sounding”

New York Post Headline: ’37-Year-Old Virgin Gets 6-Foot String Stuck in Penis During Botched Sex Game (“Sounding”)’ – Sexually Active Men With Partners Also Engage in “Sounding”

I saw this headline go through my Twitter feed days ago. As I noted in my Quote Tweet of this, I don’t see the relevancy of the man’s virginity status, because it seems to be shaming him for being a virgin.

I have plenty of news stories on my blog of married men – who are  not virgins – who have been caught having sex with pet dogs, chickens, or raping children (examples below, under “Related Posts.”).

So, non-virgin individuals are capable of pulling weird, lame, or perverted sex acts as well.

(Link): 37-Year-Old Virgin Gets 6-Foot String Stuck in Penis During Botched Sex Game

by Ben Cost
Feb 11, 2022

His attempt to thread the needle went horribly awry.

A 37-year-old virgin made the world wince after getting 6 feet of string lodged in his penis during a botched attempt at sexual gratification. A case study detailing the backfired sex stunt recently surfaced in the medical journal Radiology Case Reports.

Continue reading “New York Post Headline: ’37-Year-Old Virgin Gets 6-Foot String Stuck in Penis During Botched Sex Game (“Sounding”)’ – Sexually Active Men With Partners Also Engage in “Sounding””

Acceptance (vs. Denial, Anger, or Should-ing) – Helps in Healing and Getting Through Painful Events and Dealing With Things You Cannot Change

Acceptance (vs. Denial, Anger, or Should-ing) – Helps in Healing and Getting Through Painful Events and Dealing With Things You Cannot Change

Disclaimer: All names have been changed in the post below to keep people’s identities anonymous.


One of the things I’ve noticed in the last few years is that when I’ve accepted a situation, whether something current or something from years ago that once bothered me a lot, is that it speeds up the recovery process.

I used to hold on tightly to people or dreams or hopes. In the last few years, I’ve gotten better at Letting Go.

(I’ve not arrived at perfection at this, but I have improved a lot in the last couple of years.)

Instead of constantly regretting, feeling sad or angry about a past incident, or that my life is not where I want it to be now, I’ve learned to accept my past and present, and that has definitely been good for my mental health – and I’m more able to enjoy each day as it is, instead of sitting around angry or upset that things aren’t how I had hoped or planned.

I don’t get as upset by set backs as I once did.

Continue reading “Acceptance (vs. Denial, Anger, or Should-ing) – Helps in Healing and Getting Through Painful Events and Dealing With Things You Cannot Change”

How to Recognize and Respond to Energy Vampires at Home, Work, and More by K. Holland

How to Recognize and Respond to Energy Vampires at Home, Work, and More

(Link): How to Recognize and Respond to Energy Vampires at Home, Work, and More

Excerpts:

by K. Holland

What is an energy vampire?
Energy vampires are people who — sometimes intentionally — drain your emotional energy. They feed on your willingness to listen and care for them, leaving you exhausted and overwhelmed.

Energy vampires can be anywhere and anyone. They can be your spouse or your best friend. They can be your cubicle mate or your neighbor.

Learning how to identify and respond to this toxic behavior can help you preserve your energy and protect yourself from a great deal of emotional — and physical — distress.

Read on to learn more about how an energy vampire acts and what you can do next.

They don’t take accountability
Energy vampires are often charismatic. They may slink out of trouble when problems arise because of this charm.

Continue reading “How to Recognize and Respond to Energy Vampires at Home, Work, and More by K. Holland”

An Alarming Trend in Psychotherapy by Christine Sefein – (Woke Therapists Want You To Stay In a Victim Mindset and Miserable)

An Alarming Trend in Psychotherapy by Christine Sefein – (Woke Therapists Want You To Stay In a Victim Mindset and Miserable)

Below: embedded video, “Christine Sefein: An Alarming Trend in Psychotherapy”

This video is largely addressing woke, Neo-Marxist, identity politics influences in the mental health profession and its damaging ramifications upon groups of people (such as women, people of color, and so on).

However, much of what is mentioned is identical as what I said in previous posts in regards to psychologists or therapists (or friends) enabling people with mental health problems, by merely echoing back and validating the negative thoughts and worldviews of those persons.

There is a time and place for non-judgmental emotional support, but if a friend, family, or mental health professional merely validates the person’s distorted (negative) beliefs, and does so for months to years on end, and does not challenge or encourage the person to change their behavior (when and where it can be changed) and/or change how they view their situation or themselves, the person will remain in a state of Learned Helplessness.

Therefore, the person’s anxiety, depression, or whatever issue they are facing, will not diminish or cease.

Giving someone with depression (or certain other conditions) nothing but validation and on-going emotional support – as the therapist in the video below explains – will actually keep the person in a depressive state, or possibly worsen her mental health.
(This is exactly what I was saying in other, older blog posts and other media, but got chewed out over it by others.)

While the far left in the mental health field love to tell people that they are experiencing depression or some other problem because of the identity group they are a part of (whether they are black, homosexual, a woman, what have you), on the individual level, some people are buying into this toxic thinking because they have a Victim Mentality (see this previous post for more about Victim Mentality).

If a friend of yours, or a mental health professional, is simply sitting around agreeing with your negative views – that you are a victim in life, and you always have life oh-so-hard, and isn’t life horrible and unfair, and there’s nothing any of us can do about it – they are aiding you in keeping  you trapped in your anxiety and depression.

If this person was actually competent and compassionate, they’d be trying to help you to find steps to take TO CHANGE, to improve in some way.

Offering empathy or emotional support is only one part of the pie, it should not be the entire pie – and that emotional support is useless and garbage if it’s being mis-used to keep someone “stuck” in some disorder or harmful mindset they have.

If you continue to think of yourself as a victim, your situation or condition will never improve.

If you continue to believe that your life and all its problems – or obtaining happiness or peace – is not in your control at all, that it remains outside of your control and due to external factors, you will continue being depressed and feeling hopeless.

I spent over 30 years with clinical depression – I was diagnosed by psychiatrists with it – and I spent years trying to figure a way out of depression, when the sessions with psychiatrists didn’t help me, and the prescribed anti-depressants didn’t help me, either.

I finally figured my way out of depression (on my own), and I can tell you that the “woke” approach to “treatment” will absolutely keep you trapped in depression.

Getting primarily, or only, emotional support from a therapist, friends or family, when you’re dealing with depression (or most other problems in life), and thinking of yourself as a victim in life, isn’t going to help you rebound and heal in the long run.

As I said in a previous post, receiving emotional support for a problem initially is fine, but at the end of the day, if you want to solve a problem and make it go away, emotional support only won’t cut it – you will have to change something about your life, your usual routine, or how you think about yourself or your life or your problem if you hope to break free.

(Link): FAIR News: An Alarming Trend in Psychotherapy

For our latest video, FAIR’s Christine Sefein explains how her field of psychotherapy has been taken over by what she describes as a “divisive and regressive ideology” that led her to resign from her position as a professor of clinical psychology at Antioch University in Los Angeles.

This ideology teaches people to see themselves as part of an oppressed group and to blame their hardships on oppressor groups. And sometimes that’s true! But most often this way of thinking, which encourages hypersensitivity, is harmful to people who are seeking help from mental illness conditions.

Sefein worries that her field, which is designed to help people overcome their mental illnesses, will actually exacerbate patients’ symptoms by causing them to view themselves as having no control over improving their situation.

Instead, people are acquiring an attitude called “learned hopelessness,” which locks them into a feedback loop of pessimism and despair.

Continue reading “An Alarming Trend in Psychotherapy by Christine Sefein – (Woke Therapists Want You To Stay In a Victim Mindset and Miserable)”

Men, This Woke Lady Wants You to know You’re “Fatphobic” If You Refuse To Go Out With Her – by NTB Staff

 Men, This Woke Lady Wants You to know You’re “Fatphobic” If You Refuse To Go Out With Her – by NTB Staff

I’m a thin lady who doesn’t want to date overweight men. So I don’t blame thin men who don’t want to date overweight ladies.

But god knows that secular culture and gender complementarians keep brainwashing women that we ladies should not look at a man’s earning potential, they assume we ladies have no libido (but many of us do), and they also assume we don’t notice what men look like – so they tell us to judge a man by his inner, spiritual qualities (see this post for more of what I mean about that). Oh barf! 

Contrary to what the liberal lady in the video below says, “Preference” can also include physical appearance.

I’m a thin person who is not attracted to large (i.e., obese) men, bald men, or blond men. (I also don’t like arrogant, stupid, selfish, or crass men – those being non-physical traits, of course.)

So… when I’m looking for a guy to date, I lean towards guys who are not overweight, bald, blonde, arrogant, etc.

And that is my right as an adult. I don’t allow other people to shame me, pressure me, or guilt trip me out of my boundaries and choices.

(Christians tried that on me for years! They shamed and guilt tripped me out of my choices or from having boundaries, but used the Christian faith, Christian gender complementarianism, or the Bible as rationales.)

Slapping labels on this won’t deter me, either. For example, if you want to call me a -phobe or -ist because I don’t want to date fat guys (fatphobic) or won’t date arrogant guys (arrogantist), I don’t care. That is not going to shame me into changing my dating preferences.

I work to keep my weight down. I run five times a week, and I also go on a lot of walks, bike rides, and I keep my caloric intake to 1200 calories per day, six days a week.

I don’t let my weight get out of control… and then get angry when most men would not be attracted to me.

(My one caveat here, in regards to this topic: the hypocrites.
I frequently see young and dumpy, or old and dumpy, men who have a case of the Uglies (or some are too skinny, some are too fat or just way ugly),
and yet, they always feel entitled to thin, tiny waisted, very pretty women who look like they fell out of a “Victoria’s Secret” catalog
– or you see balding, fat men with big beer guts who are 55 years old who feel entitled to 21 year old women who look like fashion models.)

I used to be fairly lenient and forgiving about dating someone with differing political views to my own (I wasn’t super picky on my dating profile filling out the “who do you want to be matched with” section under “politics”)….

But after seeing this woman’s incredibly obnoxious TikTok video/post, where she says single people not wanting to date the obese is “fatphobic” and “marginalization” – I now realize I would never, ever want to date a far left / SJW / identity politics / BLM supporter type of person(*). Never.

*(I am assuming this is where her politics reside. I’d be very surprised to learn that she claims to be a conservative or a Republican).

Her political views and grand sense of entitlement are ten times more odious than her physical appearance.

Continue reading “Men, This Woke Lady Wants You to know You’re “Fatphobic” If You Refuse To Go Out With Her – by NTB Staff”

Is Your Online Date Deadly? Here’s How To Spot The Red Flags from Infomania

Is Your Online Date Deadly? Here’s How To Spot The Red Flags -from InfoMania

(Link): Is Your Online Date Deadly? Here’s How To Spot The Red Flags

To see the entire list of tips, please use the link above and visit their site. This is only a partial list:

Excerpts:

by H. Redlitz

Did you know that. . .

  • 10% of sex offenders use online dating sites
  • 3% of online daters are psychopaths
  • 51% of online daters are already in a relationship
  • 10% of members on free dating websites are scammers
  • Since 1995, 400 people have been murdered by someone they met online

Considering these stats, the grim reality is that if you date online, you’re likely to run into a few freaky fish before you find a good catch.

But for some women, meeting Mr. Wrong can be the last mistake they ever make. Nadine Aburas, Tori Ann Pennington, Julissa Brisman – these are just some of the women who have been murdered in recent years by men they met online. The list of women who have been raped or sexually assaulted by online dates is even longer.

Online dating is now a normal part of our social lives, but how do you protect yourself or a loved one from the dangers of meeting strangers online? Watch out for these red flags of online dating.

Read Between The Lines Of Their Dating Profile

… (Link): FBI profiler Mary Ellen O’Toole, who worked on notorious cases such as the Green River Killer and the hunt for the Unabomber, advises online daters to pay attention to the wording used in dating profiles.

Continue reading “Is Your Online Date Deadly? Here’s How To Spot The Red Flags from Infomania”

Secret Psychopath Test Could Keep Dating Apps Safe

Secret Psychopath Test Could Keep Dating Apps Safe

(Link): Secret Psychopath Test Could Keep Dating Apps Safe

BY DANA DOVEY ON 10/21/17 AT 7:28 AM

Excerpts:

He lives next door, is an excellent liar, and is only pretending to care how your parents are doing.

No, not your ex, but rather a real-life psychopath. Most don’t realize that psychopaths are rarely tucked away in high security prisons, but often live right down the street.

Thankfully, Dr. Pascal Wallisch has our back, and the psychologist is hoping to protect us, the 99 percent of the population that can physically feel empathy and regret, from those who can’t.

The term psychopath is used so often in media and everyday speech that the true meaning sometimes gets lost. Beyond the Hollywood glamor, psychopathy is a psychological diagnosis affecting a small but very prominent proportion of the global population.

Continue reading “Secret Psychopath Test Could Keep Dating Apps Safe”