Woman Says She is Lonely in Marriage to Husband Who Ignores Her in Favor of His Job, Watching TV, etc.

Woman Says She is Lonely in Marriage to Husband Who Ignores Her in Favor of His Job, Watching TV, etc.

A woman named San wrote to Christian program “The 700 Club” to say she’s in a marriage where her husband is ignoring her in favor of TV shows and his job and so forth. Pat Robertson’s son Gordon answered her letter.

Here is her letter to The 700 Club:

I have been very lonely in my marriage.

My husband’s priorities fall in this order: work, television, and then his phone. I have brought it to his attention so many times. I find myself only relying on God and Him being my true friend but I am still lonely.

Yes, I have God to turn to and I talk to God all day, every day, but it would be nice to have a husband in my life who I can truly share my life with. What should I do?

[signed] San

I didn’t completely agree with the host’s answer.

Continue reading “Woman Says She is Lonely in Marriage to Husband Who Ignores Her in Favor of His Job, Watching TV, etc.”

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The Biggest Threat To Middle-Aged Men: Loneliness (Study)

The Biggest Threat To Middle-Aged Men: Loneliness

(Link):   The biggest health threat facing middle-aged men is loneliness

(Link):   Middle-Aged Men Need More Friends

Men and friendship. By middle age, many have too little of it. And it’s a threat to men’s health.

(Link):   The biggest threat facing middle-age men isn’t smoking or obesity. It’s loneliness.

Excerpts:

As men grow older, they tend to let their friendships lapse. But there’s still time to do something about it.

…The editor told me there was all sorts of evidence out there about how men, as they age, let their close friendships lapse, and that that fact can cause all sorts of problems and have a terrible impact on their health.

…Vivek Murthy, the surgeon general of the United States, has said many times in recent years that the most prevalent health issue in the country is not cancer or heart disease or obesity. It is isolation.

I TURNED 40 IN MAY. I have a wife and two young boys.

..During the week, much of my waking life revolves around work. Or getting ready for work. Or driving to work. Or driving home from work. Or texting my wife to tell her I’m going to be late getting home from work.

Much of everything else revolves around my kids.

…I rarely see those people anywhere outside those environments, because when everything adds up, I have left almost no time for friends. I have structured myself into being a loser.

“YOU SHOULD USE THIS story suggestion as a call to do something about it.”

That’s Dr. Richard S. Schwartz, a Cambridge psychiatrist, and I had reached out to him because he and his wife, Dr. Jacqueline Olds, literally wrote the book on this topic, The Lonely American: Drifting Apart in the Twenty-First Century.

…“Since my wife and I have written about loneliness and social isolation, we see a fair number of people for whom this is a big problem,” Schwartz continues.

Continue reading “The Biggest Threat To Middle-Aged Men: Loneliness (Study)”

Frustrated Husband Chops Off His Genitals With A Knife After His Wife Hadn’t Had Sex With Him For A DECADE

Frustrated Husband Chops Off His Genitals With A Knife After His Wife Hadn’t Had Sex With Him For A DECADE

Am I the only one who’s heard of the concept of masturbation? If your wife isn’t doing it for you, you can do it for yourself, if you know what I mean.

The article says every time this guy asked for sex, it was when he was drunk, and understandably, his wife was not interested in “getting it on” when he was drunk.

I guess getting married did not guarantee this guy a steady diet of sex, which runs contrary to what Christians tell you – that if you reserve sex until marriage, the sex will be recurrent and great.

(Link): Frustrated husband chops off his genitals with a knife after his wife hadn’t had sex with him for a DECADE

  • Ghasi Ram, 37, cut off his penis after his advances were rejected
  • His wife, Manjhri Devi, said he was regularly drunk and never listened to her
  • The couple have been married for 18 years and have a daughter and two sons
  • It happened in Uttar Pradesh in northern India 

Related Posts:

(Link):  Lonely Life of Roberto Esquivel Cabrera, the Man with the World’s Longest Penis

(Link):  Guy So Depressed Over Being Single He Cut Off His Own Penis (article)

(Link):  Man undergoing minor surgery given vasectomy by mistake

(Link): Husband Forgets How to Have Sex After Botched Cancer Surgery

(Link): Spiritual leader allegedly manipulated 400 men into removing testicles to be ‘closer to God’

(Link):  Ohio Preacher Asked Men if they Performed Oral Sex on Spouses, Asked Males if they Had Large Penises, Asked to Look at their Penises, Asked One Actor if He Shaved His Pubic Hair, Encouraged Women Congregants to Get Abortions, Males to Get Vasectomies / Another Blow to “Be Equally Yoked” Christian Teachings

CDC Report: Virgin Teens Much Healthier Than Their Sexually Active Peers (2016 Report)

CDC Report: Virgin Teens Much Healthier Than Their Sexually Active Peers (2016 Report)

Oh no. Just look at the CDC being a bunch of slut shamers!

How dare the CDC point out there are any benefits to sexually abstaining – because this just ruins some of the liberal, left wing, secular feminist talking points and probably gets the Anti-Purity Culture Crusaders upset (note: I do agree there are some problems with Purity Culture teachings, but unlike most of those who rant against it, I don’t think the Bible teaches that God is a-ok with pre-marital sex.)

(Link): CDC Report: Virgin Teens Much Healthier Than Their Sexually Active Peers

BY BRANDON SHOWALTER , CP REPORTER

Dec 6, 2016 | 9:06 AM
A new Centers for Disease Control study examines teenage health behaviors in connection to their self-reported sexual activity and shows those who remain abstinent are much healthier on many fronts than their sexually active peers.
The (Link): report [which is a PDF document NOT an HTML one], titled “Sexual Identity, Sexual Contacts, and Health-Related Behaviors Among Students in Grades 9-12, United States and Selected Sites,” showcased the results from a 2015 survey that monitored several categories of health-related behaviors like tobacco usage, drug and alcohol use, sexual habits, unhealthy dietary behaviors, and behaviors that contribute to unintentional injuries and violence.
The report concludes “that students who had no sexual contact have a much lower prevalance of most health-risk behaviors compared with students” who had sexual contact…..
With regard to smoking, teenage virgins are 3,300 percent less likely to smoke daily than their peers who are sexually involved with someone of the opposite sex, Stanton computed from the report’s data.Teen virgins are 9,500 percent less likely to smoke daily than their peers who are sexually involved with someone of the same sex or in a bisexual relationship, he added. Continue reading “CDC Report: Virgin Teens Much Healthier Than Their Sexually Active Peers (2016 Report)”

Prudie Counsels a 32-Year-Old [Male] Virgin Too Anxious to Go Out with Women.

Prudie Counsels a 32-Year-Old Virgin Too Anxious to Go Out with Women.

(Link): Prudie Counsels a 32-Year-Old Virgin Too Anxious to Go Out with Women.

Excerpts:

Mallory Ortberg, aka Dear Prudence, is online weekly to chat live with readers.


Q. 32-year-old virgin:

I’m a 32-year-old straight man and I’ve never been in a relationship with a woman. I can count on one hand the number of dates I’ve been on.

I’ve had many female friends and am perfectly comfortable around women in that context, but as soon as it’s a “date” my anxiety takes over and ruins everything.

Continue reading “Prudie Counsels a 32-Year-Old [Male] Virgin Too Anxious to Go Out with Women.”

Jezebel Site and xoJane Site: Pot Meet Kettle – On Supporting All Women’s Voices

Jezebel Site and xoJane Site: Pot Meet Kettle – On Supporting All Women’s Voices

I saw this paragraph or so in (Link): an article on Jezebel’s site (by S. Edwards; title: “xoJane Publishes Terrible Article By a Woman Who’s Glad Her Friend Died, Then Deletes Her Byline“):

  • It’s a well-known fact that outrageous confessionals—the kind that populate xoJane’s section, It Happened to Me — garner traffic. Outrage, disgust and anger are the stuff of going viral (a phrase that conjures up disease as much as anything else). Yet xoJane seems to consistently cross an unspoken line, confusing any woman’s opinion as one inherently worth publishing, no matter the opinion, or its costs.

Continue reading “Jezebel Site and xoJane Site: Pot Meet Kettle – On Supporting All Women’s Voices”

NC Pastor Busted For Sexually Assaulting Woman Seeking Counseling: ‘He Started Sticking His Tongue Into my Ear’ -Say Good-Bye to the Equally Yoked Teaching

NC Pastor Busted For Sexually Assaulting Woman Seeking Counseling: ‘He Started Sticking His Tongue Into my Ear’ -Say Good-Bye to the Equally Yoked Teaching

I see no value or benefit for Christian singles to follow the “equally yoked” teaching, especially in regards to dating or marriage, when so many professing Christians are slime ball weirdos, such as the pastor in this news story.

I’d rather marry a polite, kind, non-slime ball atheist than a guy like this. (This is not to say that all atheist men are great – certainly some I’ve known and read about are sexist jerks or creepers too. You need to judge a guy on his character and how he treats you, not his religious beliefs per se.)

Also, as every women raised Christian knows, Christian single men are in short supply anyway, so you might not have a choice but to marry a Non-Christian anyway.

Recall that much of the Christian invented “Billy Graham Rule” presupposes that single women are threats to married Christian men, when the reality is that usually, married Christian men are attacking or trying to rape single (or married) women. Maybe Christians need to invent a (Link): Reverse Billy Graham Rule.

I’m not sure if the pastor in this story is married or a father, but he probably is: if so, this goes to show that marriage and parenthood do not necessarily make a person more mature, godly, or ethical – as Christians teach.

Further, if this pervert preacher is married, it also goes to show that the common Christian belief that married people are more sexually pure or restrained than adult singles is untrue.

I’d also add that Baptists go around crowing about “family values” all the time, but here you have a Baptist preacher sexually preying on women patients, which is in opposition to “family values.”

(Link):  Church pastor charged with inappropriately touching woman

  • The pastor of a Salisbury church has been charged with inappropriately touching a woman he was supposed to be counseling, according to a Salisbury Police report.

(Link):  Minister accused of groping woman he was counseling, police say

  • by M Becker
  • SALISBURY, N.C. —
  • Police in Salisbury have charged a local minister with sexually assaulting a woman whom he was counseling.
  • Police arrested the Rev. Kenneth Darrell Worley Tuesday and charged him with misdemeanor sexual battery more than three months after the woman said he groped her in her home in Salisbury.
  •  “I kick myself now, but he seemed so trustworthy,” the woman told Eyewitness News on Wednesday.
  • She said she met Worley in the waiting room of a local hospital where she was having a medical procedure, and he suggested that he could counsel her further at her home.
  • She said they spoke for about two hours at her kitchen table, but as he got up to leave, he asked if he could give her a hug, then pushed her down onto her couch.
  •  “He started sticking his tongue in my ear, licking on my neck. He was groping me,” she said.
  • She got free and called police, but the investigation took more than three months before officers signed a warrant charging Worley with misdemeanor assault.
  • A spokesman at New Hope Baptist Church in Salisbury said Wednesday that officials there were not ready to comment, but Worley is still the senior pastor there.

(Link): NC Pastor Busted For Sexually Assaulting Woman Seeking Counseling: ‘He Started Sticking His Tongue Into my Ear’

  • BETHANIA PALMA MARKUS
    12 MAY 2016 AT 16:39 ET
  • A North Carolina pastor has been accused of sexually assaulting a woman after she entrusted him to counsel her, (Link): WSCOTV reports.
  • Police arrested Rev. Kenneth Darrell Worley after the woman claims he came to her house in the town of Salisbury to provide her with counseling.
  • After a two-hour talk, the woman, who was not identified, told WSCO that Worley asked her if he could give her a hug.
  • “That seemed okay, you know? Sure,” she said. But then Worley tried to force himself on her, pushing her backward onto her sofa.
  • “He started sticking his tongue into my ear, licking on my neck, he was groping me,” she told the station. She called police but the investigation dragged on for months before she was informed they had charged Worley with misdemeanor sexual battery.
  • Worley is still the senior pastor at his church, New Hope Baptist Church.
  • She said she is speaking out now because she fears there are other victims.

————————-

Related Posts:

Update 2: (Link):  Church Knew of Preacher’s [Tullian Tchividjian’s] Affairs, Advised Him To Keep It Quiet 

(Link): Think The “Billy Graham Rule” Would Have Saved Tullian? Think Again… (Billy Graham rule has all Christians treating single adult women as though they are harlots who cannot be trusted)

(Link):  Update on Christian Rapist Man Who Used Christian Mingle Site To Pick His Victims (he liked to discuss Jesus and the Bible with them before raping them – other details in update) Equally Yoked Teaching IS A FARCE 

(Link): Christian Ladies: Be Equally Yoked to Christian Men Who Like To Have Sex With Dogs! (Re: Jerald Hill news story)

(Link): Forget About Being Equally Yoked: “My Abusive Christian Marriage”

(Link): Resident Christian Marriage Advice Writer at Christian Mag Admits Some Christian Marriages are Sexless

(Link): More Married Couples Admit to Sexless Marriages (various articles) / Christians promise you great frequent sex if you wait until marriage, but the propaganda is not true

 

Ingrid Lyne, 40 Year Old, Murdered and Decapitated by Man She Met on Dating Site

Ingrid Lyne, 40 Year Old, Murdered and Decapitated by Man She Met on Dating Site

The original Twitter headline for this in one Tweet (chosen by Daily Beast), described the woman in question as a “Young Mom.” Please (link): click here to see why I find that rather annoying.

Anyway, I glanced at this report earlier today. It looks as though this divorced mother, who was about 40 years old, met some guy via a dating site, they went out, and he killed her and decapitated her.

I’m pretty sure one story I saw about this said that this woman met the guy using a dating site. I’ll see if I can find other news stories which mention how they met.

(Link):  Mom was dismembered in own home after online date
by AP

  • April 13, 2016
  • SEATTLE — A woman who authorities say was slain and dismembered in her suburban home and whose remains were then placed in a Seattle recycling bin was a beloved mother of three as well as a sister and friend, her family says.
  • …Charlton [the murderer] has a criminal history spanning six states and his parents had sought a restraining order against him in 2006, saying he had taken the movie “Hannibal” — about a serial killer — from a shelf and told his mother she should watch it and “beware.”
  • Charlton, 37, was arrested Monday after police said remains believed to be Lyne’s were found over the weekend in a homeowner’s recycling bin. A head, arm with a hand, lower leg and foot were recovered, court documents state.
  • Lyne, 40, was reported missing from her Renton home on Saturday morning after her ex-husband arrived with their children and she wasn’t home.

Avoid Dating Divorced Guys Who Are Dating on the Rebound – and Icky May December Relationships

Avoid Dating Divorced Guys Who Are Dating on the Rebound – and Icky May December Relationships

The letter is much farther below. I wanted to comment on it first.

Here is the set up:

A friend of a divorced guy wrote to Hax, an advice columnist.

 I’m not sure if this friend is a man or woman; let’s just assume it’s a man for my post.

My interest in this letter is not in the advice aspect: friend is upset because divorced guy keeps asking him for advice but then gets offended and explodes in anger when Friend gives him advice.

My interest in this letter pertains to two or three other facets:

The letter writing friend says his divorced friend is age mid-40s, while the wife who dumped him was in her early 30s.

I am (Link): not a  believer in “May December” relationships, for starters.

A mid- 40s guy should be dating women who are age early- to- late 40s, not an early- 30s woman.

And what in the hey is the age early- 30s woman doing even considering dating some dude who is 14, 15 years her senior?

This is something I have pondered since thinking about dating again: the rebound issue. There is no way I’d date a guy who was divorced (or widowed) for only two years, or less.

If you date a guy who just divorced (or his wife died) two weeks ago, or six months ago, he is not ready for a serious relationship – he’s not even ready for a healthy, casual, fun one.

Continue reading “Avoid Dating Divorced Guys Who Are Dating on the Rebound – and Icky May December Relationships”

Christians, Selective Compassion and Bootstrap Theology: It seems to happen to black Christians, too

Christians, Selective Compassion and Bootstrap Theology: It seems to happen to black Christians, too

This post at RHE’s (Rachel Held Evans’) blog is interesting:

(Link): “Too Heavy a Yoke”: An interview with Chanequa Walker-Barnes about the StrongBlackWoman

Evans cited this book, which was written by her guest blogger:

  • “Too Heavy a Yoke: Black Women and the Burden of Strength”

I have to say there are several parallels in all this and what I’ve blogged before about Christian women in general (regardless of skin color), and how Christians are strangely selective about when and to whom they will show compassion.

An excerpt from the RHE blog post:

  • [by Rachel Held Evans]: Today I am thrilled to introduce you to Dr. Chanequa Walker-Barnes, a theologian and psychologist whose mission is to serve as a catalyst for healing, justice, and reconciliation in the Christian church and beyond. 
  • [I believe this portion of RHE’s post is by her guest writers, Dr. Walker Barnes]:
  • [I know many people who have a female] … family member, friend, co-worker, or congregation member who constantly sacrifices herself on behalf of others, who carries an inordinately heavy load of responsibility, and who rarely asks for help. 

Those are characteristics of codependency

Women raised in American culture, regardless of their skin color, are taught by churches and secular society, that being a woman means always putting one’s needs last, serving others, never saying no to others.

That doing anything less means a woman is being selfish, un-christian, and, depending on some churches, it’s even been depicted as a woman failing her “biblical role as a woman, or God’s design for women.”

White women are expected to “be strong” as well, meaning, to take a lot of stress in life, while still, at the same time, catering to other people’s needs, but this aspect of codependency for white women is not stated or promoted as blatantly as it is for black ladies, I suppose, and certainly not as much in the media, or not as frequently. But it is there for white women too.

Rather than go into a detailed discussion of that, I wanted to skip forward and focus on another quote or two by Dr. Walker Barnes, such as this one: 

  • … I see this happen a lot in the church when Black women suffer tragedies such as financial struggle, a terminal or fatal illness, and the death of a child or spouse. Those women are encouraged to be strong, that is, to hide any signs of distress and to pretend as if everything is okay.

This behavior is true of all Christians, whether white, black, men or women, (and anyone else), that the wounded are expected to hide their pain and pretend everything is fine. I’ve written about it on a few occasions on this blog (you can see examples under “related posts” below).

I have noticed that if a regular American Christian approaches another one over some problem they are having, to obtain prayer, financial help, or merely sympathy, they will usually get insensitive reactions, ranging from judgment, criticism, to platitudes or shaming.

It’s very common for one Christian to tell another hurting Christian who admits to hurting, things like, “Just pray more,” or, “Stop the pity party, there are African orphans who have life worse than you” and so forth.

At times in my life I was down and looking for empathy and support, I certainly have experienced those sorts of reactions at the hands of white Christians, I have seen it happen to other white Christians by white Christians.

I think this is a problem inherent in American Christianity overall, or maybe just American culture, and not reserved for any one racial or ethnic group.

Walker Barnes went on to say:

  • In the church, it seems to me that Black women – more than any other racial/gender group – are taught that strain and suffering are indicative of holiness. We are taught to put on a good face in the midst of our struggle, rather than to ask for help.
  • That’s pretty convenient for the church, because as long as they praise us for being strong in the midst of suffering, they’re excused from having to do anything about our suffering.

As a white lady, I can attest to that – it happens to white women as well, by other white Christians. I have noticed at times, when I have gone to other Christians needing emotional support, I got brief pep talks, cliches, and people would try to get me to shut up fast. Christians do not want to be bothered with investing time into a hurting person. 

I have seen other Christians say the same thing in books and blogs – that in their time of deepest pain, when they went to their church, or when they went to another Christian for help, they were told to put on a fake smile and solider on; no real help or compassion was given.

The typical American Christian wants to hand you a Bible verse and platitude and hurry you on your way when you go to them saying you need help, simply someone to listen to you, so that they can go back to sipping coffee and reading the paper, or watching their favorite TV shows.

Continue reading “Christians, Selective Compassion and Bootstrap Theology: It seems to happen to black Christians, too”