Single and 40: Dealing with Disappointment by L. Bishop
(Link): Single and 40: Dealing with Disappointment by L. Bishop
- I am 43, single, never married, and have no kids. That’s me. While those statistics do not define me, sometimes I let them do just that.
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More Women Are Leaving Behind Religious Identities For Something More Spiritual
(Link): More Women Are Leaving Behind Religious Identities For Something More Spiritual
- Posted: 02/20/2015 4:29 pm EST Updated: 02/20/2015 4:59 pm EST
- (RNS) Nadia Bulkin, 27, the daughter of a Muslim father and a Christian mother, spends “zero time” thinking about God.
And she finds that among her friends — both guys and gals — many are just as spiritually disconnected.
Surveys have long shown women lead more active lives of faith than men, and that millennials are less interested than earlier generations. One in three now claim no religious identity.
What may be new is that more women, generation by generation, are moving in the direction of men — away from faith, religious commitment, even away from vaguely spiritual views like “a deep sense of wonder about the universe,” according to some surveys.
Michaela Bruzzese, 46, is a Mass-every-week Catholic, just like her mother, but she sees few of her Gen X peers in the pews.
“I have women friends who grew up Catholic who think my choice to stay Catholic is like I choose to keep believing in Santa Claus. They just don’t get what is in the church for me,” said Bruzzese.
“For me, Catholicism is a verb — it is the action of being in the world and trying to live the gospel,” said Bruzzese, who teaches theology at a Catholic high school in Albuquerque, N.M. Many of her students go home to parents who no longer observe the faith.
- In 1974, CARA research found 46 percent of men and 45 percent of women considered themselves to be “strong Catholics.” By 2012, both groups had dropped significantly on that question — men to 24 percent and women to 30 percent.
On the rise: Those who call themselves “not very strong” Catholics. That self-description by men climbed to 67 percent in 2012, up from 44 percent 1974. Among women, 57 percent said their faith was “not very strong,” up from 43 percent 40 years ago.
- …Bulkin was born in Indonesia then moved to Nebraska when she was 11. Today, her mother, a self-proclaimed atheist, attends a Unitarian Universalist congregation. But Bulkin, a consultant in Washington, D.C., is more inclined to use her Sunday morning for a calming yoga class.
- “Sometimes I do say I’m spiritual but not religious, but it depends on your definition,” said Bulkin. “I’m more an agnostic when I think about it. But I spend zero time thinking about it.”
Her male friends who do claim a religious identity are more culturally attached than religious, she said. “I know more girls who are religious Christians who struggle to find a guy who is the same.”
- …Woolever also points to the marriage rate as an influence in religiosity, if not necessarily spirituality. “It’s married women who go to church and they take their kids. Certainly single women go to church, too, but at a much lower rate,” said Woolever.
- Protestant scholar and author Phyllis Tickle, 80, who has observed American spirituality for decades, also cited the changing cultural context of women’s lives.
- “In evangelical and even in some progressive parts of Christianity, women are getting very mixed signals,” said Tickle. “There is a view that a woman should be subordinate on Sunday, equal to men the five workdays of the week and Saturday is up for grabs. She’s told at home and at church the man is to be the ‘servant leader,’ but then she goes to work where she has to be as tough as the guys to succeed.”
- Tickle called it “religiously imposed schizophrenia. My generation didn’t have the pressure to be the perfect wife and the perfect professional. It doesn’t leave you any time for spirituality — or any internal time at all. Whatever the female of the 22nd century is going to be spiritually, we just don’t know,” Tickle said.
(Link): Why are Working Women Starting to Unplug from Their Churches? by Sandra Crawford Williamson (Also discusses never married adult women)
The Bigger the Age Gap The Shorter The Marriage / Divorce Rates Predicted By Age Differences
(Link): The Bigger the Age Gap The Shorter the Marriage
- And according to data in a recent study of 3,000 people by Andrew Francis and Hugo Mialon, professors in the Department of Economics at Emory University in Atlanta, it [age differences between spouses] could be a considerable factor.
- Randal Olson, a fourth-year computer science graduate research assistant at Michigan State University, crunched the raw data from Emory and found that a larger age gap is related to a higher divorce rate.
- A five-year age gap statistically means you’re 18 percent more likely to divorce (versus just 3 percent with a 1-year age difference), and that rate rises to 39 percent for a 10-year age difference and 95 percent for a 20-year age gap.
- Partners from different generations may have different cultural reference points and values, and polar opposite tastes in music and film, and even friends, and also have different approaches to their sex life, says Fran Walfish, Beverly Hills psychotherapist and panelist on “Sex Box,” a forthcoming We TV relationship therapy show. “Sex drive goes up for women in middle age, but sexual function decreases for men.”
- …The high number of short marriages could be people remarrying and choosing the same type of partner. “It does not work for the same reasons the prior relationship did not work,” he adds.
- Others caution about confusing stability or longevity with happiness. Many marriages that appear stable to outside observers may just be an “empty shell” for couples who stay together for legal, religious, financial and/or child-rearing reasons, says Simon Rego, director of psychology training at Montefiore Medical Center in New York City.
(Link): Divorce Rates Predicted By Age Differences
- By Ashley Helms | Nov 12, 2014 06:26 PM EST
- Age may really be more than just a number.A large age gap may be a big contributing factor to divorce rates, according to a new study on 3,000 people in Atlanta, the (Link): New York Post reported on Tuesday.
- Randal Olsen, a computer science graduate research assistant at Michigan State University, found that how close a couple is in age can predict if they get divorced or not.Statistically, a five-year age gap means you’re 18 percent more likely to split, against just 3 percent with a single-year age difference. At a 10-year difference, that number rises to 39 percent. It soars to 90 percent for a 20-year difference in age.Reasons for the conclusion are opposite tastes in music and movies, different needs and desires from sex and vastly different pop cultural values and references.
“Sex drive goes up for women in middle age, but sexual function decreases for men,” said Fran Walfish, a Beverly Hills psychotherapist.
Having your first baby before marriage can mean you’re 59 percent less likely to end in divorce, as opposed to a childless couple. Though having a child while you’re married shows a 76 percent decrease in divorce rate.
In regards to education, a couple is 43 percent more likely to divorce if they have different levels of education than a couple who has the same qualifications.
And there’s some good news: couples are 94 percent less likely to divorce if they make it to their 10th anniversary, (Link): Market Watch reported.
Critics of the study warn not to equate a long marriage with a happy one. Marriages that appear happy on the outside may still be going on due to religious, financial, child-rearing or other reasons.
“So while having children with your spouse may be a factor that decreases the chances of divorce, it may be that a couple with kids chooses to stay together for the sake of the kids, despite the marriage having nothing else to it,” said Simon Rego, director of psychology training at Montefiore Medical Center in New York City.
(Link): Creepy, wrong, immature and pathetic: older men chasing after much younger women
(Link): Study: Big Gaps in Age Can Turn A Marriage Sour in Just Six Years
(Link): Online Dating: Women Want Younger Men (article)
(Link): A 69 Year Old Man Wants to Self Identify as a 40-Something to Increase His Chances on Dating Sites
(Link): Men Become ‘Invisible’ And Lose Sex Appeal At 39 – Article from Daily Caller
(Link): Thirty Year Old Man Likes To Date and Have Sex with 80, 90 Year Old Women
(Link): Obnoxious, Condescending, Sexist, Pervy Esquire Editorial by 50-Something Year Old Man: “In Praise of 42 Year Old Women” – Condescendingly Reassures 40 Something Women He’d Sex Them Up
(Link): Follow Up – Reactions by Other Writers to Sexist, Condescending 50 Something Men Who Think They Are Final Arbiters of If Women Are Attractive Past Age of 40 (Re: Esquire Editorial by Junod)
Italian nurse who took photos of herself with patients she had murdered is flooded with fan mail in prison – including marriage proposals
So, you murder a bunch of people because you “find them annoying” and take a few photos of yourself with the corpses and the marriage proposals flood in? People are disturbing.
(Link): Italian nurse who took photos of herself with patients she had murdered is flooded with fan mail in prison – including marriage proposals
by Steve Hopkins
- Nurse Daniela Poggiali will stand trial over 38 unexplained deaths
- Since her arrest the 42-year-old has been flooded with fan mail
- The letters have described Poggiali as ‘pretty and good looking’
- And one or two contained proposals of marriage, prison officials said
- An Italian nurse who took photos of herself with dead patients she had murdered is being flooded with fan letters from male admirers, including some containing marriage proposals.
- Daniela Poggiali, 42, from the town of Lugo, in the Emilia-Romagna Region of central Italy, was arrested after police investigating the mysterious death of a 78-year-old patient stumbled upon 38 other unexplained deaths on her shifts.
- Rosa Calderoni, 78, was admitted with a routine illness but died after being injected with high levels of potassium – the compound used in lethal injection executions in the U.S.
- …A prison spokesman said: ‘Over the last few weeks since she was placed here there has been a steady stream of letters from males.
‘Most of them say how pretty and good looking they think she is, and one or two have even contained proposals of marriage.’
- …According to investigators the nurse had found the dead patients ‘annoying’ or that they had ‘pushy relatives’.
During their investigations they discovered pictures of Poggiali grinning alongside the dead bodies.
The lead magistrate investigating the case, Alessandro Mancini said: ‘We believe she is sound of mind, but simply took satisfaction, and real pleasure in killing.