Single Adults Among Largest Groups Leaving Mormon Church – Parallels to Evangelical Christianity

I regard Mormonism as being a cult, not a form of legitimate Christianity (Mormons don’t believe in the Jesus of the Gospels, for one thing), but I think there are some parallels between Mormons and Christians, such as the over-emphasis upon marriage.

When your church makes an idol out of marriage, as Mormons and Christians do, it drives people away. Because sometimes people stay single by choice, or due to factors beyond their control.

And if you’re single in a religion that over-values marriage, there is a tendency to be ignored, set aside. Churches care more about marriage than singlehood. Churches care more about meeting the needs of married couples than they do adult singles.

There is no incentive for a single adult to remain in a church or denomination that marginalizes them constantly, or that behaves as though singleness is a disease or a second-rate life station.

(Link):  Who is leaving the LDS Church? by Jana Riess

Excerpts

We know, or can infer, some things about them from prior research. There is a correlation between certain life situations and leaving. This does not mean that being any one of these things will cause a person to leave, only that there is a relationship.

  • Being single. There’s been some tantalizing research over the last two years about singles in the LDS Church.

Continue reading “Single Adults Among Largest Groups Leaving Mormon Church – Parallels to Evangelical Christianity”

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Mother Entitlement – Selfish, Self-Centered Mothers Complain that They Are Not Getting ENOUGH Mother Worship from Culture, Church, or Family on Mother’s Day and Some Moms Complain About Churches Showing Compassion to Childless Women

Mother Entitlement – Selfish, Self-Centered Mothers Complain that They Are Not Getting ENOUGH Mother Worship from Culture, Church, or Family on Mother’s Day and Some Moms Complain About Churches Showing Compassion to Childless Women

I remember seeing posts like this (see link below) last year at Mother’s Day – there are actually mothers out there, including Christian and Mormon ones, who feel that their churches do not do ENOUGH to honor them on Mommy’s Day.

Some mothers I’ve seen go further than that and insult or mock childless (or childfree) women in the comments of blogs that ask people to be more sensitive to the feelings of non mothers.

These bitter, hate-filled mothers spit out, on such blogs, comments such as, “Screw the childless women, what about me, I work hard as a mom all year and DESERVE some recognition.”

Yep, they are that blunt and nasty about it in their comments. (I have a real sample below, with a link to said blog, but it’s by a guy, not a lady, but it’s representative of the type of crap angry mothers who whine about being under-appreciated leave on blogs).

No, I am not exaggerating, I have indeed seen a smattering of such vitriolic comments by mothers on various blogs the last two years, even on Christian blogs by women who claim they are Christian!

Even though churches WORSHIP motherhood 24 hours a day, 365 days a year and hype it up on Mother’s Day itself even more so, these selfish mommy dolts think churches should worship mommy-hood EVEN MORE than they already do.

Meanwhile, never-married, childless, divorced, widowed, and childfree adult women get absolutely NO HOLIDAYS in THEIR honor, so why should I care if mommies don’t feel honored enough on Mother’s Day?

Some mothers are the most selfish, hateful people on the face of the planet.

Some mothers expect and demand everyone around them in their families and at church to make a big fuss over them.

I thought motherhood was supposed to be its own reward?

If motherhood is so lofty, so noble, so high and mighty, and it supposedly makes a woman totally content, and you buy into Christian swill about mom-hood being a woman’s only, or most, godly role in life, why do you, little Ms. Entitled Mommy, need or want others to validate the position for you, by throwing you parties and handing you carnations in church services?

I thought Christians said parenthood automatically makes a person more godly and giving than being single and child-free, or it works out that way over a period of years?

That is not so, because I see many mothers online whining like little children that they don’t get enough attention and presents from their spouses or preachers on the holiday.

I cannot believe how self absorbed and self centered some mothers are.

Here is a link to a blog page by a Mormon woman –
Note that while this woman is a Mormon but her points sound about identical to the average Baptist, Reformed, or Evangelical women I see online; just swap out “Mormon” with the word “Christian” and it reads the same:

(Link): Taking Mom Out of Mother’s Day – Have We Gone Too Far?

Excerpts:

    In a desire to be sensitive toward women who are unable to have children I’m concerned that, perhaps, on Mother’s Day, we may be going a bit too far. Not that we can ever be too compassionate in acknowledging the pain that surely accompanies the inability to have children, but at the same time we shouldn’t need to pull back in giving the much needed praise, encouragement and recognition of Moms’, who are actually raising, or have raised, children — and all that that entails.

  • …In order to be politically sensitive, in all circumstances, where the issue of how women fulfill their role as mothers comes into play, it is my observation that we are becoming increasingly comfortable with relegating actual Moms’ to the back of the bus — even on Mother’s Day. And frankly, that kind of bothers me.

Here was the comment I left on her page (but it did not show up last I checked):

    Never-married and childless women such as myself get ZERO holidays for us. None. There are no cards for us. No cakes, no brunches.

  • Churches never have a “recognize and celebrate mature, celibate, never married, childless women” type of service, so I have a very hard time feeling sorry for mothers who feel their churches or communities are not doing enough to honor motherhood.

Continue reading “Mother Entitlement – Selfish, Self-Centered Mothers Complain that They Are Not Getting ENOUGH Mother Worship from Culture, Church, or Family on Mother’s Day and Some Moms Complain About Churches Showing Compassion to Childless Women”

Gender Complementarian Christians Who Teach Gender Inequality Even in Afterlife – an UPDATE

Gender Complementarian Christians Who Teach Gender Inequality Even in Afterlife – an UPDATE

Hat tip again to Julie Anne of the Spiritual Sounding Board who announced in a Tweet today that CBMW (which is a Christian gender complementarian group) removed a looney editorial by Walton from their site, which I wrote of in an earlier post, here:

(Link): Christian Gender Complementarian Group Teaching That There Will Be Marriage in Afterlife and That Women Must Submit To Males in Heaven

Julie Anne wrote an update about the situation recently, here (at Spiritual Sounding Board):

(Link): Council for Biblical Manhood and Womanhood Removes Article about Complementarian Roles in New Creation Did they change their minds?

    Council for Biblical Manhood and Womanhood removes Article about complementarian roles in new creation

    … Let’s be clear – – pulling the article does not mean CBMW has changed their ideology.

She also provided a link to the screen shot of the CBMW page, before it was removed, and it can be viewed here:
(Link): Screen capture of Weirdo “marriage in the afterlife” CBMW Page by Walton

Someone in the thread linked to this related material, from the Strange Figures blog:
(Link): A letter to our sisters, on biblical womanhood in heavenly places

The piece starts out serious (as you can see from the excerpt below), and the author goes into satire (not excerpted here):

    I think the author, Mark David Walton, has shown us the end toward which complementarian theology is heading. While Walton’s piece is several years old, it’s still out there as a resource and other articles have expressed the same idea – the gendered headship/submission model is not temporal. It’s eternal. Get used to it, ladies.

Julie Anne also mentioned that Owen Strachan is the Executive Director of CBMW, and Rachel Held Evans recently took Strachan to the woodshed here:

(Though I do have excerpts from Walton’s the page on (Link): my previous post as well, if you’d like to read for yourself some of the nutty things Walton wrote.)
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Related posts, off site:

(Link): Complementarianism: even in its best form, it is Patriarchy

(Link): The “CAN’T” Chant of Complementarianism

(Link): Com­ple­men­tar­i­an­ism Sucks : Telling Women to Stay Quiet in the name of Jesus

(Link): Question to complementarians: What is my [single, adult woman] gender role?

I agree with point 3 on the list on this site (I do not, however, agree with the author that a literal understanding of the Bible should be rejected, or that the Bible supports homosexuality):
(Link): Reality: The Problem with Complementarianism
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Related posts:

(Link): Christian Gender Complementarian Group Teaching That There Will Be Marriage in Afterlife and That Women Must Submit To Males in Heaven (post at Spiritual Sounding Board)

(Link): The Irrelevancy To Single or Childless or Childfree Christian Women of Biblical Gender Complementarian Roles / Biblical Womanhood Teachings

(Link): Independent Fundamentalist Baptist College Kid Friendship Permission Form – Christians lowering marriage rates due to their own stupid teachings about sex, dating, marriage, etc

(Link): Christian Gender Complementarian Group (CBMW) Anti Virginity and Anti Sexual Purity Stance (At Least Watered Down) – and their Anti Homosexual Marriage Position

‘It’s like living with adultery on a daily basis and having the woman come home’: Former sister wife exposes oppressive realities of polygamy

‘It’s like living with adultery on a daily basis and having the woman come home’: Former sister wife exposes oppressive realities of polygamy

(Link): ‘It’s like living with adultery on a daily basis and having the woman come home’: Former sister wife exposes oppressive realities of polygamy in the wake of federal ruling that further decriminalizes the practice in Utah

    -In December, a federal judge ruled Utah’s law against cohabitation was a violation of the First Amendment right to freedom of religion

    -Marion Munn was a polygamist sister wife for 18 years and says it’s not a choice for many women in the fundamentalist sects

    -But the decision comes as a big win for the estimated 40,000 Utah polygamists who can now live their lifestyle more openly

    By AFP and DAILY MAIL REPORTER
    PUBLISHED: 11:02 EST, 9 February 2014

    A former sister wife has spoken out against the polygamous lifestyle, following a new federal ruling that decriminalizes the practice in Utah.
    Marion Munn moved to Utah from Britain after converting to a fundamentalist Mormon faith, and says she was part of a plural marriage for 18 years
    ‘The only way that I can explain it is like living with adultery on a daily basis, and having the woman come home,’ Munn said.

    ‘On top of that you have to smile and pretend that everything’s okay because that’s part of the culture too.’

    The practice of polygamy has long been illegal in the United States, and especially persecuted in the state of Utah ever since the Mormon church decided to get rid of Joseph Smith’s principal of plural marriage to become more mainstream.

    But fundamentalist Mormons have continued the practice, with an estimated 40,000 Utah residents currently living in plural marriages.

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Related posts, this blog:

(Link): Modesty Teachings – When Mormons Sound like Christians and Gender Complementarians

When Mormonism Sounds Like Gender Complementarian Christianity – Also: Man Shortage in Mormonism Just Like Christianity

When Mormonism Sounds Like Gender Complementarian Christianity – Also: Man Shortage in Mormonism Just Like Christianity

It is creepy how much Mormonism sounds like Christian gender complementarianism. Also, it sounds like a lot of the same problems that befall Baptist, Reformed, fundamentalist, and evangelical Christian adult singles are some of the same issues that are faced by Mormons.

(Link): Missions Signal a Growing Role for Mormon Women

(Link): From Mormon Women, a Flood of Requests and Questions on Their Role in the Church

Excerpts

(Link): Missions Signal a Growing Role for Mormon Women

    By JODI KANTOR and LAURIE GOODSTEINMARCH 1, 2014

    DAEJEON, South Korea — Ashley Farr, once Miss North Salt Lake Teen USA, is the first in her family’s long line of Mormon women to become a missionary, and in December she embarked on her new life in this gray corner of Asia.

    She packed her bag according to the church’s precise instructions: skirts that cover the knee, only one pair of pants, earrings that dangle no longer than one inch, and subtle but flattering makeup, modeled in photos on the church’s website.

    … In the coming years, these women are expected to fundamentally alter this most American of churches, whose ruling patriarchs not long ago excommunicated feminist scholars and warned women not to hold jobs while raising children.

    [Mormon] Church leaders have been forced to reassess their views because Mormon women are increasingly supporting households, marrying later and less frequently, and having fewer children. And for the first time, waves of women like Ms. Farr are taking part in the church’s crucial coming-of-age ritual, returning home from their missions with unprecedented scriptural fluency, new confidence and new ideas about themselves.

    Already the church has made small adjustments, inviting women to weigh in on local councils and introducing the first leadership roles for female missionaries. When a band of Mormon feminists staged a demonstration last year in Salt Lake City calling for women to be ordained as priests, their demands were felt in church headquarters — in part because the church’s own surveys also reveal streaks of female dissatisfaction.

    … To revise female roles in the church threatens what many see as the very foundations of the faith, which dictate that men are ordained as priests at the tender age of 18, taking the title “Elder,” while women, who can never progress beyond “Sister,” are considered holiest and most fulfilled as wives and mothers.

    Many Mormon women embrace their traditional roles and flinch at the word “feminism”; a small movement to encourage women to wear pants instead of skirts to Sunday services was met with an angry backlash. Even younger Mormon men are often uncomfortable with the ambitions of their female peers, some women report, creating a chasm of expectations between the sexes.

    But if the church, which keenly polishes its image, does not update its ideas about gender, it may be seen as out of step with contemporary life, an untenable home for women who are leaders in their workplaces and breadwinners in their households.

    “The great unfinished business in the church is gender equality,” said Joanna Brooks, an English professor at San Diego State University who often writes about her experiences as a Mormon woman. “An increasing number of young Mormon women are growing up in a world where they not only can work, but have to work, and they are operating 12 hours a day in contexts where gender is irrelevant, but in a church structure where all financial and theological decisions are made by men. This will just stop making sense.”

    …. “Maybe in the past, homemakers didn’t get that chance” to do missions, said Mrs. Christensen, her eyes welling.

    “It used to be that mission was the rite of passage for men, and marriage was the rite of passage for women,” said Ms. Hanks, the feminist scholar who returned to the church. Now, she said, “the church has officially established the mission as an equal rite of passage for women.”

    A picture in the lobby of the Seoul mission depicts a male missionary preparing to go out tracting, or canvassing for converts, as a knight in shining armor. On a recent trip home, Mrs. Christensen bought a matching image of a sword-wielding sister missionary, so the women would be able to see an inspirational portrait, too.

    … But some former female missionaries said their 18 months of proselytizing planted new questions about inequality.

    Continue reading “When Mormonism Sounds Like Gender Complementarian Christianity – Also: Man Shortage in Mormonism Just Like Christianity”

Modesty Teachings – When Mormons Sound like Christians and Gender Complementarians

Modesty Teachings – When Mormons Sound like Christians and Gender Complementarians

It’s creepy and alarming at times how some Christians wind up with beliefs or theology that sounds a lot like the things cults and what all believe, from Calvinism’s mirroring of Islam’s view of God, Christian gender complementarian views mirroring those of Islamic view of women, and the modesty and chastity teachings of Mormons.

While I am not an advocate of either men or women dressing slutty, I’m puzzled by some dress codes and think modesty teachings are, overall, pretty moronic as well as hypocritical, as all emphasis is placed upon females.

I’ve yet to deduce how or why American males find female arms sexy – some of them, after all, in their modesty teachings, teach girls and women to keep their arms covered. Some Christians (and Mormons) are against any top or blouse with spaghetti straps. I have no idea why, as there is nothing terribly sexy or tawdry about spaghetti straps.

I don’t think I agree with the comment in this page by a Mormon that
“Modesty is the foundation stone of chastity,” since a woman (or man) can be just as slutty in baggy jeans and while wearing a parka as a woman in stiletto heels and a mini-skirt (or for men, tight jeans and a tank or mesh shirt). It’s not the packaging, but the behavior.

I don’t have the quote below, but in the article, so intense is this stupid modesty teaching among females in Mormonism, that there is an anecdote about a four year old girl who refuses to go to the zoo with her granny until granny helps her put a t-shirt under her sun dress.

A four year old girl should not even be thinking in terms of sexuality, modesty, etc. I believe religious teachings that start out with good intentions do a lot of damage to their adherents, modesty being one of them.

(Link): Does Mormon modesty mantra reduce women to sex objects?

Excerpts.

    Peggy Fletcher Stack / Salt Lake Tribune
    Mar 4, 2014

    SALT LAKE CITY (RNS) When Mormon leaders sense a decline of moral standards in the world, they roll out sermons on modesty.

    In the 1960s and early ’70s, they preached against miniskirts and hot pants; in today’s sex-drenched society, it’s spaghetti straps, bare midriffs and skinny jeans.

    The message remains largely the same: Cover up, lest you cause the males around you to sin.

    It’s often couched in the rhetoric of “virtue” and usually aimed at young women, even girls.

    “Modesty is the foundation stone of chastity,” former Young Women leader Elaine S. Dalton said in the May 2007 Liahona, an international LDS magazine. “Just as one does not hike trails inhabited by rattlesnakes barefoot, similarly in today’s world it is essential to our very safety to be modest.”

    The next year, the Utah-based faith’s Young Women program added “virtue” as one of the values to which Mormon girls ages 12- 17 should strive, but it was defined chiefly as sexual purity or chastity.

    This concern has reached down to girls as young as 4.

    …. Bare shoulders, even on children, are off-limits in LDS Church publications. An illustration in the December 2011 Ensign, the official magazine for adult Mormons, even added sleeves to female angels in one of painter Carl Bloch’s masterpieces.

    Continue reading “Modesty Teachings – When Mormons Sound like Christians and Gender Complementarians”

TV Pervert Claims Not to Be A Pervert and Laughably Claims “All of America is Having Sex”

TV Pervert Claims Not to Be A Pervert and Laughably Claims “All of America is Having Sex”

This guy is a pervert but claims not to be one. The part that killed me though, was this quote of his: “All of America is having sex.”

I know we are living in a sex-saturated culture, and even Christian culture is creepily obsessed with sex, and it sure seems as though everyone is having sex, but it’s not true that “everyone is doing it.”

I hate to say it, but this a big, big assumption not just with polygamyist perverts like that guy and the Non Christians, but is a view that is shared among evangelical, Baptist, fundamentalist, and Reformed Christians.

Many conservative Christian groups, including, sadly, a lot of preachers, assume that nobody is celibate anymore, and they pattern their materials, commentary, and sermons to follow suit. These sorts of Christians assume everyone who is not married yet by their mid-20s caves in and starts having pre-marital sex.

One result of this false thinking is that Christian adults who are still virgins (as they have not married) past the age of 30, get no support from other Christians.

There are no sermons, books, or radio broadcasts which discuss the needs and problems of adult celibates, or that encourage them to hang on and not give in. Adult, Christian celibates are without a support system.

(Link): ‘We’re normal times five’: Polygamist stars of ‘My Five Wives’ ask people not to judge their unconventional family

    By DAILY MAIL REPORTER and ASSOCIATED PRESS
    PUBLISHED: 22:22 EST, 3 March 2014

    Just because he has five wives and 24 children doesn’t mean Brady Williams isn’t normal.

    Or at least that’s the message he wanted America to receive during an interview with the Huffington Post in which the polygamist stars of TLC’s ‘My Five Wives’ spoke candidly about hopes to dispel the myths surrounding their unconventional lifestyle.

    ‘All of America’s having sex,’ Brady said. ‘And it’s no big deal to just answer it and to just say ‘Duh no we’re not perverted, we’re not twisted, we’re just normal.’

(Link): ‘My Five Wives’: Meet TLC’s newest polygamist family

    The “Sister Wives” aren’t the only polygamist family on TLC. Meet the Williams family, the polygamist Utah clan profiled on the network’s newest reality series, “My Five Wives,” premiering Sunday, March 9 at 10 p.m. ET/PT.

    Patriarch Brady Williams is 43 years old and was raised a Mormon. Now, however, he and his five wives live a non-denominational plural lifestyle. He’s been married for 21 years to his first wife, Paulie, and his second wife, Robyn; 19 years to his third wife, Rosemary; 16 years to his fourth wife, Nonie; and 14 to his fifth wife, Rhonda. Between all five of his wives, he has 24 children.

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Related posts this blog:

(Link): Douglas Wilson and Christian Response FAIL to Sexual Sin – No Body Can Resist Sex – supposedly – Re Celibacy

(Link): Why So Much Fornication – Because Christians Have No Expectation of Sexual Purity

This also discusses typical, flawed Christian views about adult singleness and celibacy:
(Link): Preacher Mark Driscoll Basically Says No, Single Christian Males Cannot or Should Not Serve as Preachers / in Leadership Positions – Attempts to Justify Unbiblical, Anti Singleness Christian Bias

(Link): False Christian Teaching: “Only A Few Are Called to Singleness and Celibacy” or (also false): God’s gifting of singleness is rare – More Accurate: God calls only a few to marriage and God gifts only the rare with the gift of Marriage

(Link): Singles and the Church: Why It Sucks to be Unintentionally Overlooked (from The Sexy Celibate blog)

(Link): Christian Stereotypes About Female Sexuality : All Unmarried Women Are Supposedly Hyper Sexed Harlots – But All Married Ones are Supposedly Frigid or Totally Uninterested in Sex

Weird Mormon Anti Masturbation Video – It’s War

Weird Mormon Anti Masturbation Video

I first read about this at the Jezebel site about a week or two weeks ago. News of it then made it to the Facebook group Stuff Christian Culture Likes about two days ago.

Some people are mistaking the video for being by evangelical Christians, but one of the earliest reports I saw said it is by Mormons.

It was shown to Mormons at some university, to kids maybe in their teen years or early twenties.

I can’t blame people for mistaking it for an evangelical or fundamentalist Christian production, since many Christians have weird, unbiblical views about sex (and specifically masturbation), and tend to make odd videos (or books and blogs) about stuff such as this. (Which is why I have tagged this under “Christian” and “Christianity” on my blog.)

At this point, I have not watched the video myself. I have read summaries about it from others.

The video starts out with a kid viewing porn on the computer (or about to), to fap off (masturbate).

He is magically transported into World War 2 (or 1?) where he is a wounded soldier and helped by another solider. This scene later morphs into him being delivered to a clergy person to discuss his masturbation.

Some have joked that they have found homo-erotic undertones to the whole thing.

The original video was removed at one point (or set to private), but one or two atheists or liberals had saved copies and uploaded the copies to their You Tube accounts.

(Link): Mormon anti-masturbation message compares self-pleasuring to wounded warriors (VIDEO)

(Link): Mormon anti-masturbation video: Jerking off is pretty much like being gunned down in war

(Link): This Mormon Video on Masturbation is So Homoerotic (has screen captures taken from video)

This if from a rabid left-wing site (they obviously do not like right wingers; I am right wing myself, or at least, not in agreement with liberals on most topics):

(Link): Bizarre Christian [note the video is MORMON, not Christian] Anti-Fapping Video Compares Self-Pleasurers to Wounded Soldiers, Codenamed: Wounded on the Battlefield (Video)
“Fapping” or “Fap” = slang meaning masturbation.

Excerpts from that page:

    Yes, it’s that time again! Yet another deluded religious group has decided to tackle a moral issue plaguing our nation: a lot of people are *GASP* pleasuring themselves.

    The video, which refers to the “temptation” of self-pleasure as “The Great War,” begins with a man innocently browsing through “online por-no-graph-ia” and apparently enjoying himself with the door wide open (because people do that).

    As the video explains, all of this “confused” man’s roommates know about his habit (probably because he leaves the door wide open) but do nothing to “help” him. His addiction has led him to cease going to church, and there is “darkness” in his eyes.

    Somehow, his immersion into the seedy world of self-pleasure transports him to a battlefield, where he lies (spiritually) wounded, alone, and desperate for somebody to help him.

    Most pass by him, most ignore his plight — but one brave soldier dashes over to rescue him.

    ”How does he rescue him,” you ask? Why, he spreads the fact that he touches himself all over God’s creation and turns him into the church, that’s how! Only by performing this heroic action can you be sure to shame your friends into not self-pleasuring anymore.

(Link): Christian [Note again: it’s a MORMON video, not Christian] Anti-Masturbation Video Encourages You to Lend a Hand

I am in the process of watching the video as I type this part of the post.

The video actually contains the phrase “Wounded on the great battlefield of war.” I do think they’re overstating their case.

More of the video has progressed. There is some really maudlin, overly dramatic music going on towards the end, as if to say how terribly tragic masturbation is. Oh please. LOL. 😆

If the embedded video below is removed, the video is hosted on various accounts, including:

(Link): Masturbation = Dead Soldiers (Real Christian Anti-Masturbation) [Note: It’s MORMON, not Christian – video has commentary by guy who screams, yells, and uses lots of vulgarity. He says he is a “ninja of masturbation”]

(Link): Wounded on the Battlefield BYU Idaho Short Film Anti Masturbation


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Related posts this blog:

(Link): Article: ‘Getting to the Root of Female Masturbation’ / Also: Virgin woman gets next to no sex in marriage

(Link): Public masturbation not a crime: Swedish court

(Link): Letter to Advice Columnist: Husband Upset That Wife Masturbates – Marriage Doesn’t Guarantee Hot Regular Sex For Both or Either Partner, Contra Usual Christian Claims

(Link): More Married Couples Admit to Sexless Marriages (various articles) / Christians promise you great frequent sex if you wait until marriage, but the propaganda is not true