Advice Letter – 41 Year Old Never Married Woman To Marry Twice Divorced Guy, Her Mom Worried

Advice Letter – 41 Year Old Never Married Woman To Marry Twice Divorced Guy, Her Mom Worried

Oh. All sorts of bad things going on here. I’m not a supporter of May-December relationships.

Then you have the fact that this dear lady so sick and tired of being single, she’s willing to marry the first man who has a pulse who shows interest, even though he sounds not only too old for her, but possibly like a user. Red flags all over this.

I also have to say this is a switch – before on this blog, I have copied in letters from parents who are freaked out or disappointed that their adult child is age 30, 40, or older and hasn’t married yet, so the parent is begging the kid to marry anyone, just marry.

(Link): Hax Advice Column

DEAR CAROLYN: My smart, successful and never-been-married 41-year-old daughter has recently become engaged to a twice-divorced man whom she has nothing in common with except a desire to not be alone anymore.

I am worried she is his “retirement plan,” as he can’t wait to retire early from his job and live the expat lifestyle with her overseas. They have only known each other for a year, and six months of that have been long-distance.

My daughter complains he won’t stop seeing his “ex-girlfriend/best friend” who lives in the same apartment complex as him — on a different continent — and it is making her insecure.

How do I support my daughter? They have a 13-year age gap, and I just want her to slow down and think carefully about what she is getting herself into. Wanting to “check the marriage box” off your to-do list is not a reason to rush into this.

(Signed), Just Want Her to Slow Down

Dear Just:

You say: “I love you and worry about your safety.”

She will hear: “My mother thinks I can’t take care of myself.”

You say: “You barely know this man and are rushing into marriage for the sake of it.”

She will hear: “My mother thinks ‘single and 41’ = desperate and pathetic.”

You say: “He can’t wait to use you to retire early.”

She will hear: “My own mother thinks a man can’t like me for anything but my money.”

You say: “He’s obviously still seeing his ex, right under your nose.”

She will hear: “My mother thinks I’m an idiot.”

You have a message problem, one that stems from the even bigger problem of trying to be a parent to someone who is 20 years into being an adult.

(read more here)


Related Posts:

(Link):   Avoid Dating Divorced Guys Who Are Dating on the Rebound – and Icky May December Relationships

(Link):  Pat Robertson Says 44 Year old Never Married Woman Who Wants Marriage is “Desperate”

(Link):  Mom Is Ashamed of 30-Something Daughters Who’ve Never Been Married or Dated

(Link):  Dad Buys Full-Page $900 Newspaper Ad Seeking a Wife for His 48 Year Old, Never Married Son

(Link):  Idiot Assumes His 44 Year Old Sister Is A Lesbian Because She’s Never Been Married

(Link):  Never-Married Men Over 40: Date-able or Debate-able?

(Link):  How Sorry Do We Feel for the Lonesome Single Bachelors of New York? by T. Moore (never married men in their 40s talk about being tired of being single)

(Link):  Singles Shaming Mother: Her Sons are in their 30s, Great Guys, But She’s Freaking Because They’re Not Married (letter to Hax columnist)

(Link):  Creepy, wrong, immature and pathetic: older men chasing after much younger women

(Link):  Decent Secular Relationship Advice: How to Pick Your Life Partner

(Link):   Mom Is Ashamed of 30-Something Daughters Who’ve Never Been Married or Dated

(Link): My Parents Excluded Me When I Was Single — Now They’re Doing It to My Sister (Ask Amy Column)

(Link): Thirty Year Old Woman Kills Herself Due to Being Single and Childless – Churches contribute to this by either Ignoring adult singles or shaming them for being single and childless

(Link): I’m 45, Single And Childless. No, There’s Nothing ‘Wrong’ With Me. by M Notkin

(Link):  Grieving widow doesn’t need to start dating in order to heal (letter from advice column) 

(Link): Guy So Depressed Over Being Single He Cut Off His Own Penis (article)

(Link): Otherhood – An overlooked demographic – the Childless and Childfree Women and Singles Especially Women Who Had Hoped to Marry and Have Kids But Never Met Mr. Right (links)

(Link):  Are Single People the Lepers of Today’s Church? by Gina Dalfonzo

(Link): Typical Incorrect Conservative Christian Assumption: If you want marriage bad enough, Mr. Right will magically appear

 

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The Failure of Sex Ed Is Killing Our Daughters by S. Goldberg

The Failure of Sex Ed Is Killing Our Daughters by S. Goldberg

(Link): The Failure of Sex Ed Is Killing Our Daughters by S. Goldberg

Excerpts:

….If these women relied on their high school sex education classes they were at a near-total loss when it came to reproductive health.

Public school curriculums dead-set on preventing pregnancy focus heavily on sexually transmitted diseases, birth control, and “using protection.”

As for pregnancy itself, senior students often get a glimpse of a woman giving birth before they pass out in horror.

Young women are never given so much as the opportunity to discuss the dynamics of choosing to have children in today’s world, let alone the biology of reproduction, let alone what should go right and what could go wrong.

Continue reading “The Failure of Sex Ed Is Killing Our Daughters by S. Goldberg”

The Dangerous Risks of Putting Motherhood on a Pedestal by C. Millard

The Dangerous Risks of Putting Motherhood on a Pedestal by C. Millard

The Dangerous Risks of Putting Motherhood on a Pedestal by C. Millard

Excerpts:

…Note the double-edged sword of motherhood here. Attracting the praise of being a “good mother” was always accompanied by the threat that you might fall from the perch at any moment and cause devastating harm to your child.

Hence the amplification of mechanisms of control, censure, and punishment that go hand in hand with the valorization and surveillance of parenting. Deep within the medical and psychological frameworks promoting motherhood in this period, there lurks male anxiety over female power and influence.

Continue reading “The Dangerous Risks of Putting Motherhood on a Pedestal by C. Millard”

Study: Motherhood Is Rotten for Women’s Self-Esteem by E. Strauss

Study: Motherhood Is Rotten for Women’s Self-Esteem by E. Strauss

(Link):  Having kids lowers women’s self-esteem for at least three years (on Twitter)

Excerpts:

…Led by researchers at the University of Tilburg, psychologists analyzed survey data collected from more than 84,000 Norwegian women between 1999 and 2008.

…The researchers found a consistent pattern: Women experienced declines in self-esteem during their pregnancies, and then increases in the six months afterwards. But then their self-esteem declined once again, and continued falling. By three years into their child’s life, it was still lower than their original “baseline.”

…After birth the picture gets more complex, and another clue might lie in the study’s other major finding. At the same key intervals, researchers also asked women to evaluate their relationships.

They found that women’s estimation of their romantic partners remained fairly steady during pregnancy, but fell dramatically right after the baby was born. The same effect was also noticeable, to a lesser extent, after subsequent children were born.

(Link): Motherhood Is Rotten for Women’s Self-Esteem by E. Strauss

Excerpts:

A recent example of this comes from Norway, where researchers conducted a study for which they tracked nearly 85,000 women from pregnancy through the first three years of their children’s lives and asked them questions about how having children affected their self-esteem. The findings are dispiriting, if unsurprising.

The team, led by psychologist Manon A. Van Scheppingen, had participants fill out questionnaires rating their self-esteem and relationship satisfaction throughout this time period.

Continue reading “Study: Motherhood Is Rotten for Women’s Self-Esteem by E. Strauss”

Pastor Actually Questions, in the Year 2017, If It’s Acceptable for Mothers to Work Outside of the Home.

Pastor Actually Questions, in the Year 2017, If It’s Acceptable for Mothers to Work Outside of the Home.

I cannot believe we are in the year 2017, and Christians are still asking about this sort of thing and pontificating about it. To even ask and muse about this in 2017 is just sexist.

In regards to this story linked to below, Dee of Wartburg Watch asked on Twitter, something along the lines of, how much money does preacher Todd Wagner earn so that his wife (assuming he has a wife and kids) is able to stay at home all day to watch their kids?

How many of the women in Wagner’s church congregation (who may even be mothers themselves) have jobs outside the home, part of whose job income are paid to him in tithes, so that he can afford to have his wife stay at home and be a stay at home mother?

(Link): Does the Bible Say It’s OK for Moms to Work?

Excerpts:

July 28, 2017

by Sheryl Lynn

The pastor of a multi-site church in Texas [Watermark Community Church] recently responded to a question on whether the Bible says it’s OK for moms to work.

While it’s not forbidden, Todd Wagner questioned the motive behind a mother choosing to work over being at home with her children.

// end excerpt

“While it’s not forbidden.” – Yes, you can end it right there. Anything beyond this is Wagner’s opinion.

Continue reading “Pastor Actually Questions, in the Year 2017, If It’s Acceptable for Mothers to Work Outside of the Home.”

59-year-old who tried for 4 decades to get pregnant has baby

59-year-old who tried for 4 decades to get pregnant baby

(Link):  New York woman, 59, gives birth to her first child after trying for 40 YEARS to start a family

-Akosua Budu Amoako, 59, gave birth to her son Isaiah at full-term on June 15
-She and her husband, also called Isaiah, have been trying for a baby since they got married 38 years ago
-Now, they have undergone IVF. The baby was born 7lb 4oz in Albany, New York

(Link): 59-Year-Old Woman Who Tried for 4 Decades to Get Pregnant Has Baby

(Link): She tried for decades to get pregnant. At 59, she just gave birth 

(Link):  59-year-old who tried for 4 decades to get pregnant baby

A 59-year-old woman who had tried for nearly four decades to become pregnant has given birth at a New York hospital after fertility treatments.

Akosua Budu Amoako gave birth to a full-term 7-pound, 4-ounce boy on June 15 at Bellevue Woman’s Center in Niskayuna (nihs-kee-YOO’-nuh), near Albany.

Continue reading “59-year-old who tried for 4 decades to get pregnant has baby”

Educated Women Are Freezing Eggs Because Of “Missing Men”

Educated Women Are Freezing Eggs Because Of “Missing Men”

(Link): Educated Women Are Freezing Eggs Because Of”Missing Men

Excerpt:

Women with master’s degrees and doctorates are freezing their eggs because there are not enough educated men in the world, according to a new study.

Researchers interviewed 150 women who were having their eggs frozen at eight clinics in the US and Israel between June 2014 and August 2016. More than 80 percent of participants had college degrees.

Continue reading “Educated Women Are Freezing Eggs Because Of “Missing Men””

“I Regret Having Children” – Various Mothers Interviewed (via NY Post)

“I Regret Having Children” – Various Mothers Interviewed (via NY Post)

(Link): “I Regret Having Children” – Various Mothers Interviewed (via NY Post) by G. Wilson

….Here, a handful of women who have shared how they wish they could turn back time and do it all differently.

Single-mother hardship

“I regret having my daughter.

“She is now 12 and it is easier as they get older, but sometimes I look at her and wish she had never been born. I was/am a single mother and right from the start the moment the midwife gave her to me I didn’t feel this instant love that people talk of, all I felt was the huge weight of regret.

“Being a single mother with a baby that hardly slept and screamed all the time was awful, I was constantly exhausted, but I never told anyone about how I really felt for fear of being judged, I couldn’t give her to my parents for a night or two because of their drinking.

Continue reading ““I Regret Having Children” – Various Mothers Interviewed (via NY Post)”

Women In 30s Now Having More Babies Than Younger Moms in U.S.

Women In 30s Now Having More Babies Than Younger Moms in U.S. 

(Link):  American Women are Opting to Wait Longer to Have Kids

(Link): Women in Their 30s Now Having More Babies Than Younger Moms

Women in their early thirties are for the first time having more babies than younger moms in the United States, according to new data released by the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention. According to health experts, the shift was caused by more women choosing to wait longer to have children, as well as a steady national drop in teen births. Now, the birth rate for women in the 30-to-34 age group is about 103 per 100,000.

(Link):  For the First Time Ever, Thirty-Something Women Are Having More Babies Than Their Twenty-Something Counterparts

In many ways, this attitude, and the milestone marked by the new CDC data, represents a gain for women. As Rebecca Traister wrote in her 2016 book All the Single Ladies, the social permission to delay marriage and childbirth—as well the as the biological ability to do so, first through the use of reliable birth control, now with the help of the booming fertility industry—has given women the freedom to define themselves through means other than motherhood. As recently as 1970, the mean age of first birth was just 21, giving most women precious little time to pursue education, adventure, and professional achievement.

However, the rise of older parenthood is also a response to a workplace paradigm that levies penalties on mothers. The U.S. is (Link): the only wealthy nation in the world without a federal paid parental leave policy, and childcare in this country is (Link): exorbitantly expensive and (Link): frighteningly under-regulated. Together, these factors push many women to put off pregnancy in the name of professional success or financial stability.

In her 2012 book Ready: Why Women are Embracing the New Later Motherhood, University of Houston professor Elizabeth Gregory analyzed census data from 2000 and found that delaying motherhood measurably increased women’s earnings.

(Link): Women In 30s Now Having More Babies Than Younger Moms in U.S.  – May 2017

For the first time, women in their early 30s are having more babies than younger moms in the United States.

Continue reading “Women In 30s Now Having More Babies Than Younger Moms in U.S.”

Motherhood Is Not A Woman’s Most Important Job by J. Wright

Motherhood Is Not A Woman’s Most Important Job by J. Wright

(Link): Motherhood Is Not A Woman’s Most Important Job by J. Wright

Excerpts:

…Except, for women, their mothering skills are becoming an increasingly relevant topic of discussion. In the past year, women have been told either implicitly or explicitly that traditional roles are the ones they should be most focused on fulfilling. We’re dealing with a President who has said “putting a wife to work is a dangerous thing,” because, “a softness disappeared.” He also said that “when I come home and dinner’s not ready, I go through the roof.”

….Being a parent is a source of joy and challenge and meaning for many humans of all genders. But it’s not the most important job there is. It’s not even technically a job, insofar as it pays no money. It is more like a very demanding volunteer position that you can never, ever get out of.

And, as rewarding as that position may be, producing a younger person is not necessarily the main contribution people make to the world. People can probably not tell you how many children Harriet Tubman or Marie Curie or Elizabeth Cady Stanton had, but they can, hopefully, tell you what they did.

Continue reading “Motherhood Is Not A Woman’s Most Important Job by J. Wright”

Mom Allegedly Beats Son Who Gave Mother’s Day Card to Grandmother, Not Her

Mom Allegedly Beats Son Who Gave Mother’s Day Card to Grandmother, Not Her

Why, why, why, are so many of my fellow conservatives so doggedly determined to defend a secular holiday which unnecessarily alienates or hurts so many people (such as infertile couples, etc), and things like this happen (and, I find this story to be heart-breaking – the kid was just trying to give his grandmother a card, for pete’s sake):

(Link): Mom allegedly beats son who gave Mother’s Day card to grandmother, not her – May 14, 2017

A South Carolina mother has been accused of beating her young son after the boy made a Mother’s Day card for his grandmother, but not one for her.

Spartanburg Police said Shontrell Murphy, 30, repeatedly hit her 6-year-old son after ripping up the card, Fox Carolina reported.

Continue reading “Mom Allegedly Beats Son Who Gave Mother’s Day Card to Grandmother, Not Her”

Your Church’s Mother’s Day Carnation is Not Worth Any Woman’s Broken Heart – A Critique of ‘When Mother’s Day Feels Like a Minefield’ by L. L. Fields

Your Church’s Mother’s Day Carnation is Not Worth Any Woman’s Broken Heart – A Critique of ‘When Mother’s Day Feels Like a Minefield’ by L. L. Fields

Please note this blog post has undergone some modifications here and there since I first published it – a few fixed typos, some additional thoughts have been added here and there.


Here’s the link to the editorial – below it, I will comment about it, then a bit later, provide some excerpts from it, followed by yet more critiques):

(Link):  When Mother’s Day Feels Like a Minefield –  Let’s reimagine ways we can honor mothers without wounding others.   by L L Fields via Christianity Today magazine

Here are some of my thoughts about the editorial:

As I first began reading it, I had high hopes. I was optimistic.

It started out on the right foot but descended into a let-down where Fields is arguing for the status quo, which is inexcusable, especially after she admits she was educated, (after she publicly asked for feedback from women), as to how so many women find church Mother’s Day celebrations so painful.

(The summary of her piece: she doesn’t really care about your pain, you childless woman, or you women who are grieving for their dead mothers; she still wants her mother’s day carnation handed to her by a pastor, dammit, and culture doesn’t do near enough, she argues, to honor motherhood!
She would no doubt want to push back and say, ‘hey, I do care about other women’s pain’ – but no, she does not, if she is still arguing to keep Mother’s Day in place as-is. Please keep reading.)

First of all, motherhood is a choice for many women.

You chose to have a child. If there is one thing I cannot stand, it’s women who deliberately walk into a pregnancy and then spend 15 – 20 years complaining about how exhausting motherhood is.

Continue reading “Your Church’s Mother’s Day Carnation is Not Worth Any Woman’s Broken Heart – A Critique of ‘When Mother’s Day Feels Like a Minefield’ by L. L. Fields”

Woman’s Identity Way Too Tied Up In Motherhood (Penny on 700 Club)

Woman’s Identity Way Too Tied Up In Motherhood

The woman who wrote to Pat Robertson’s Christian show “700 Club,” Penny, did not specify if she is a Christian, and one who is a complementarian, but I wouldn’t be surprised if she was one or both.

She wrote:

Four years ago, I was going through an extremely difficult time. My 16 year old daughter left home and moved 2,000 miles away.

Not only was my daughter gone but it seemed like 16 and a half years of my life were gone too. Being an at home mom made it that much more difficult for me.

I dealt with extreme rejection, loss, and sense of purpose. I felt like a failure. I lost my daughter, I lost friends and financially we struggled.

We lost our home and we lived in poverty. I grieved going through so much loss. If my own child didn’t even need me, then what is my purpose in life?

[signed]

PENNY

I think it’s unfortunate that some women think their only value is in child-rearing, that they base their entire identity on being a wife and mother, which is what Penny has done.

Continue reading “Woman’s Identity Way Too Tied Up In Motherhood (Penny on 700 Club)”

I Don’t Want Kids. How Can I Get People to Stop Pressuring Me Once and For All? (Ask E Jean)

I Don’t Want Kids. How Can I Get People to Stop Pressuring Me Once and For All? (Ask E Jean)

(Link): I Don’t Want Kids. How Can I Get People to Stop Pressuring Me Once and For All? – Ask E Jean

From a 38 year old woman, who says everyone and their brother asks her about when or if she’s going to have children:

I’m a devoted aunt to my nieces and nephews and have tons of respect for parents. I just don’t want to be one.

…However, everyone seems to be pressuring me to have kids! People I don’t even know well—friends of friends, random taxi drivers—constantly comment: “Why don’t you have kids yet?” or “You should have kids before it’s too late!”

Continue reading “I Don’t Want Kids. How Can I Get People to Stop Pressuring Me Once and For All? (Ask E Jean)”

Children Taken From Maryland Couple After YouTube ‘Prank’ Videos – Parenthood Does Not Make People More Mature, Godly, Loving, or Responsible

Children Taken From Maryland Couple After YouTube ‘Prank’ Videos – Parenthood Does Not Make People More Mature, Godly, Loving, or Responsible

Many secular conservatives and Christians go on and on about how nuclear families are necessary for society, they shame or criticize women who do not have children, and they feel that being a parent is necessary to make a person more responsible, mature, or godly. I should know, because I am a right winger. I’ve been a conservative for years, but I think other conservatives really get this stuff wrong.

Every week, I see news stories of parents who neglect or verbally or physically abuse their children – being parents did not make such parents mature, godly, loving, or responsible.

I was verbally abused by my father  and sister growing up, and it’s a very painful thing to endure – my father has mellowed out a tad since growing older (he can still be a little verbally abusive, but not as often as when I was younger), but my sister has gotten worse.

When I was younger, my dad would sometimes pull “pranks” on me similar to what the dad in these You Tube videos was doing to his kids, in addition to run-of-the-mill put-downs where my father would tell me he didn’t value my thoughts, opinions, and basically convey to me he thought I was a loser and a failure.

When you have these sorts of “pranks” pulled on you when you are a kid, they HURT. They make you feel rejected and unloved by the parent doing it. There is nothing funny about it.

The kid is hurt now, but I can guarantee when he gets much older and reflects on this, the anger will come out – most of the hurt will die down, and he will instead be infuriated and resent that his dad did this to him.

What this dad did is cruel. It’s not funny. What they (the father and the stepmother in this story) did is in fact emotional abuse – I’m guessing the mouth-breathing morons behind this You Tube channel (the Martin parents) only regard physical strikes as “abuse.” WRONG. Abuse can be emotional / verbal.

So. I feel sorry for the kids in the story below – I know what it’s like to be verbally and emotionally abused, to have pranks done to me and cruel words said to me under the guise it’s just “joking around” and so on.

Christians and secular right wingers need to let go of this idea that marriage and parenting are necessary to make people productive, mature, good people – that’s clearly NOT THE CASE.

The New York Times ran (Link): this Tweet today:

“The couple verbally berated their 5 children, often to the point of tears, then racked up millions of YouTube views”

…Children Taken From Maryland Couple After YouTube ‘Prank’ Videos … The parents first defended the videos, posted on the DaddyOFive (You Tube channel) …

Here are some more links about it:

(Link):  YouTube prank parents lose custody of their kids

(Link):  DaddyOFive parents lose custody ‘over YouTube pranks

(Link):  These YouTube parents pulled disturbing ‘pranks’ on their kids. Now, they’ve lost custody.

The videos on DaddyOFive’s YouTube channel were hard to watch. In one, parents Heather and Mike Martin scream at 9-year-old Cody, accusing him of spilling ink on the ground. (He didn’t spill anything, and the stains on the carpet were from trick ink).

Another shows Cody being shoved into a bookcase. In a third, the dad encourages one of his sons to slap 11-year-old Emma, the only girl among the five children in the family.

He does, hard enough to make Emma cry.

When the broader YouTube community found out about the channel, there was an angry uprising. And now, the once-estranged birth mother of Cody and Emma has emergency custody of her two kids.

(Link):   YouTubers who made kids cry with extreme prank lose custody

(Link):  Cruel YouTube father and stepmom who filmed themselves telling their nine-year-old son he was going to be adopted and smashing his X-box lose custody of their two children

  • Maryland parents Mike and Heather Martin have a YouTube channel in which their two youngest children are often the victim of cruel pranks
  • The parents of five had been under fire for an April video pranking their son, Cody, nine
  • Stepmom Heather squirted disappearing ink all over son Cody’s bedroom carpet
  • Parents bawl him out, then reveal the joke and make him plug their channel
  • They released an apology video in April, but still said the kids were in on the ‘pranks’ 
  • The parents lost custody of Mike’s two children, Cody, nine, and Emma, 12
  • Cody and Emma’s biological mom, Rose Hall, says the children are being ‘deprogrammed’ from the abuse

Continue reading “Children Taken From Maryland Couple After YouTube ‘Prank’ Videos – Parenthood Does Not Make People More Mature, Godly, Loving, or Responsible”

Mother Brutally Assaulted Daughter for Reciting Bible Verses Incorrectly: Police

Mother Brutally Assaulted Daughter for Reciting Bible Verses Incorrectly: Police

So much for the conservative Christian claim that parenthood is necessary to make a person more ethical, responsible, and godly.

Motherhood sure as heck did not make the woman in this story loving or godly.

(Link): Mother brutally assaulted daughter for reciting Bible verses incorrectly: Police

A Middletown woman was arrested after police said she severely assaulted her daughter and kicked her out of her house because the girl incorrectly recited Bible verses to her last week.

Police filed child endangerment charges against Rhonda Kemp Shoffner, 41, of the first block of Genesis Court, following the incident March 14.

The victim, who is under the age of 13, told police the assault occurred just after she awoke from a nap in her mother’s home about 3 p.m.

 … Each time the girl incorrectly recited a verse or gave her mother a wrong answer, Shoffner slammed her head into the wall, police said. Shoffner slammed her daughter’s head into the bathroom drywall at least five times, according to police.

Woman Sets Two Small Sons on Fire, Locks Them Inside, Goes To Her Mom’s House for Soup

Woman Sets Two Small Sons on Fire, Locks Them Inside, Goes To Her Mom’s House for Soup

Just look at how motherhood made this 29 year old mother of two – a three and five year old – so responsible, loving, giving, and godly!

She locked her two sons in a room after setting their beds on fire, which killed them. Then, the article says, she went over to her mother’s house for soup.

And yet, Christians, and some secular conservatives, demonize or scold women such as myself who never marry and never have children.

I’ve never had a kid, but do you know how many children I’ve burned alive in my lifetime? ZERO, that’s how many.

Do you know how many children I plan to burn alive in my life? ZERO, that’s how many.

(Link):  West Virginia mom accused of setting sons’ beds on fire before locking the door by T Cullen

A West Virginia woman accused of lighting her sons’ beds on fire before locking them in their room to die is due in court Thursday for her first hearing.

Molly Delgado was arrested last week and charged with the Jan. 24 death of her 3- and 5-year-old sons.

Authorities alleged she set her boys’ beds ablaze, locked the door to their room from the outside and left their mobile home, according (Link): to the Washington Post. She allegedly headed to her parents’ house for soup.

…George Harms, West Virginia’s assistant fire marshal, wrote in the complaint against Delgado that she admitted setting fire to each bed before leaving the home, according to media reports.

Her husband, Justin Delgado, (Link): was already asleep when the crazed mom allegedly set the fatal blazes, the Washington Post reported.

[Delgado tried to save the two boys but did not succeed]

Jeannie Mai Says Church People Pray for Her to Want Babies: Stop Shaming Me

Jeannie Mai Says Church People Pray for Her to Want Babies: Stop Shaming Me

It is truly disgusting how deeply Christians and secular culture demand and expect all women to reproduce, even if the woman in question has absolutely no interest in having children.

I cannot BELIEVE how terribly OBNOXIOUS people are! It’s none of anyone’s business why or why not this woman has kids, or if she doesn’t want them and why not, and so on.

Breeding is not an imperative – in the New Testament (see 1 Cor 7), Paul states it is better NOT to be having sex! But Christians push and harass people who choose to stay single and childless, or who find themselves as such due to circumstance.

(Link): Jeannie Mai Says Church People Pray for Her to Want Babies: Stop Shaming Me

BY CHRISTINE THOMASOS , CHRISTIAN POST REPORTER

March 7, 2017

Jeannie Mai is speaking out against those who have shamed her for not wanting children, including people in her church who have laid hands on her and prayed for her desire to give birth.

Mai, the 38-year-old co-host of daytime talk show “The Real,” was emotional as she explained the frustration she felt when people expected her to announce her pregnancy with her husband, Freddy Harteis, of 10 years. While she is outspoken about her Christian faith on the show and social media, Mai expressed her issues with people at her church praying for her to want children.

“I’ve even had people like at church, which is why sometimes it throws me off from church, but they lay hands and they’ll pray for me that I’ll want that. [They] lay hands like ‘God you’re going to put that moment in Jeannie where she will be an amazing mother,” she recalled. “‘Let her know, let her feel that.'”

Continue reading “Jeannie Mai Says Church People Pray for Her to Want Babies: Stop Shaming Me”

Dog Saves Boy (Aged 9) After Kid’s Mother Tries to Drown Him In River – Parenthood Does Not Make People More Mature, Loving, or Moral

Dog Saves Boy Aged 9 After Kid’s Mother Tries to Drown Him In River – Parenthood Does Not Make People More Mature, Loving, or Moral

Well looky here. This dog makes a better “parent,” or guardian, than the kid’s own parent!

Some Christians and my fellow conservatives like to go on and on about how marriage and parenthood are supposedly necessary to make a person more godly, mature, ethical, responsible, and loving – but this is not so.

I have many examples of my blog of married people and/or parents who are arrested or get into trouble for things ranging from, but not limited to, having affairs, buying child pornography, having sex with animals, raping their own children, etc (view those examples (Link): here and (Link): here).

Conservatives need to learn and remember that the Bible itself says that….

-a person being single and celibate is preferable to being married (start with 1 Corinthians 7),

-the Bible does NOT say that God has “called” anyone to be single (being single is a choice, or a matter of circumstance, it’s not based on divine providence),

-nor does the Bible say that (Link): only a “few will be single,”

-nor does the Bible ever try to promote marriage by denigrating singleness!

And to my fellow pro-lifers out there: STOP disparaging animal welfare or people who care about animal welfare!

Stop griping and complaining that people care more about animals than they do human babies – so what if they do? It’s a good thing if people support animal welfare, even if they are pro-choice, uncaring, or ambivalent on the abortion topic.

People should sure as hell NOT support animal cruelty or animal abuse, REGARDLESS of where they stand on other topics such as abortion or whatever else.

But secondly, it’s (Link): not a mutually exclusive proposition – a person can be anti-abortion as well as being anti-animal abuse!

(Link): Pitbull saves boy, 9, after ‘mum tries to drown him in river’ by T. Mann

March 4, 2017

The mother, who cannot be named for legal reasons, is said to have told a friend, ‘I have to drown my babies’ before taking them to the Murray River, in New South Wales, Australia.

The 27-year-old then allegedly took her eldest son, 9, into the river and held his head under the water while her five-year-old son looked on and screamed, Bendigo Magistrates heard.

Her younger son, who has a different father to his brother, was then allegedly brought into the water.

A distressed emergency service worker told the Riverine Herald: ‘He was so little, it was awful, the whole thing has been awful, and everyone here is devastated,” he said.

‘All of us have been hit so hard.’

But his elder brother managed to survive after a dog intervened and attacked the woman, the Herald Sun reports.

Continue reading “Dog Saves Boy (Aged 9) After Kid’s Mother Tries to Drown Him In River – Parenthood Does Not Make People More Mature, Loving, or Moral”

IUPUI Study Finds Participants Feel Moral Outrage Toward Those Who Decide to Not Have Children

IUPUI  Study Finds Participants Feel Moral Outrage Toward Those Who Decide to Not Have Children

(Link): This May Explain Why So Many People Feel Outraged About Childfree Adults

Parenthood is often seen as a moral imperative, according to new research.

(Link): Adults who choose not to have children inspire moral outrage in study participants

People should not be judged poorly or harassed or shamed for deciding not to have children. Women especially bear the brunt of this – men who decide not to procreate don’t seem to receive as much condemnation for remaining childless as do women.

As for myself, I was not terribly interested in having kids of my own. Had I married when much younger, I was open to the possibility of having a kid or two within marriage, but as I’m still single into my 40s, I have no interest in having kids now if I marry, and I sure as hell have no desire to have a kid out of wedlock and raise it alone (nor do I have the means to do so).

Society needs to get off the backs of people who are childless – whether it’s by choice or circumstance.

I cannot understand why other people act as though everyone has to share the same life goals or choices as they do, and then shame or condemn them for choosing or living differently, especially over something like this.

(Link):  IUPUI  Study Finds Participants Feel Moral Outrage Toward Those Who Decide to Not Have Children

Excerpts

Feb 2017

 Data representing individuals from across the United States indicates that U.S. adults are increasingly delaying the decision to have children or forgoing parenthood entirely. Yet evidence suggests that voluntarily child-free people are stigmatized for this decision, according to a study published in the March 2017 edition of Sex Roles: A Journal of Research.

Leslie Ashburn-Nardo, an associate professor of psychology at Indiana University-Purdue University Indianapolis, recently investigated this bias against those who choose to not have children.

“What’s remarkable about our findings is the moral outrage participants reported feeling toward a stranger who decided to not have children,” Ashburn-Nardo said. “Our data suggests that not having children is seen not only as atypical, or surprising, but also as morally wrong.”

Continue reading “IUPUI Study Finds Participants Feel Moral Outrage Toward Those Who Decide to Not Have Children”