Mother Sold Her Six Year Old Daughter to Pervert for Sex In Exchange for Shoes and Cash

Mother Sold Her Six Year Old Daughter to Pervert for Sex In Exchange for Shoes and Cash

Motherhood does not necessarily make a woman more ethical, responsible, mature, godly, or loving, nor does it improve society. Here’s yet another news story of a mother who abused her own daughter – this is so disgusting.

Women such as myself – I’m a conservative woman who never married or had children – gets smeared by hyper- pro- motherhood, hyper- pro- nuclear family conservatives for being single and childless – would never sell a child for sex.

Sadly, this is not the only news story like this I have on this blog. There have been other news stories of other parents who have sold their child to be raped by another adult in exchange for money or drugs.

(Link): Mom sold 6-year-old for sex in return for sneakers, cash: prosecutors

Sept 23, 2022
By Mark Lungariello

A Washington state woman was hit with 23 years behind bars for sex trafficking her 6-year-old daughter to a pervert she met online in exchange for sneakers and cash.

Kylie Ruby Flores, a 31-year-old Spokane resident, sold her little girl to a man she met on the dating site Plenty of Fish, and who promised to pay with new Nike kicks, “small amounts” of cash and a place to stay, federal prosecutors said.

Flores and Trever Harder — who filmed himself raping the young girl in his apartment — have entered guilty pleas, according to the US Attorney’s Office for the Eastern District of Washington.

Continue reading “Mother Sold Her Six Year Old Daughter to Pervert for Sex In Exchange for Shoes and Cash”

I’m Pregnant With My Own Son’s Baby by A. Diaz – and Conservative Reactions to the News Story

I’m Pregnant With My Own Son’s Baby by A. Diaz – and Conservative Reactions to the News Story

This post has been edited after publication to add more commentary, links.


I find these types of stories to be a little… gross.

I see that conservative site “Not Babylon Bee” has shared this news story on their Twitter feed – as if to suggest they find this gross and icky.

They made it a point to mention that the age of the woman in the story is age 56 (you can see their tweet embedded in this post below).

However… I am a conservative who has spoken out on this blog for years about how too many secular and religious conservatives have turned parenthood, marriage, and the nuclear family into idols that they worship.

A reminder: I am not “anti parenthood,” I am not “anti marriage,” and I am not “anti nuclear family,” but I have been long disturbed by how so many conservatives have elevated parenthood, marriage, and the “the family” to an unhealthy degree, even beyond what the Bible itself does.

Among many conservatives, Motherhood is falsely said or thought to be a woman’s highest, or only, calling by God, which leaves never married and celibate women (such as myself) marginalized, or infertile women marginalized.

So… I find it a tad hypocritical that any conservative outlet would share this news story as though it’s gross, since they’re not being consistent with their hyper- pro- nuclear family, hyper- pro- parenthood view points.

The “Not Babylon Bee” site, to be consistent with their idolization of motherhood and the nuclear family, should be joyously proclaiming, “Oh, how lovely, this older lady is pregnant with her son’s baby.” But are they approaching it like that? Nope.

It’s possible I’m wrong, and they are, once more, unfortunately extolling the virtues of motherhood (as if being a baby carrier is a woman’s only value), but  the vibe I get is that they think it’s disturbing that a 56 year old is carrying, as a surrogate, her son’s kid.

Either way you slice it, Not Babylon Bee’s take on the topic can result in being sexist.

(Link): I’m Pregnant With My Own Son’s Baby by A. Diaz

Sept 22, 2022

A pregnant mother is expecting … her own grandchild.

Nancy Hauck, 56, can’t wait to give birth to her granddaughter. “I never planned for it, but I am so glad I chose to carry my son’s baby,” she told SWNS.

The grandmother offered to become a surrogate for her son Jeff, 32, and his wife Cambria, 30, after her daughter-in-law had a life-saving hysterectomy following the traumatic birth of their second set of twins.

“I just suddenly had a feeling a few months after that I should offer to do it,” she explained. “I told my son, and he teared up and was shocked — I hadn’t even told my husband at that point. But he was really supportive.”

The young couple had struggled for six years before they welcomed twins, Vera and Ayva, now three, and then, Diseal and Luka, 11 months, via IVF.

Continue reading “I’m Pregnant With My Own Son’s Baby by A. Diaz – and Conservative Reactions to the News Story”

Woman Who Unpopularly Decided To Never Have Children Reflects On It Now That She’s 85 Years Old

Woman Who Unpopularly Decided To Never Have Children Reflects On It Now That She’s 85 Years Old

I was never really for or against having children myself – had I married younger, I was entertaining the idea of having at least one kid, if I could’ve done so by the age of 35.

One of the things this 85 year old woman says is something that I deduced years ago: it’s a huge mistake for any woman to base most or all of her purpose and identity in parenthood or marriage (same is true for men).

If you build most to all of your identity and purpose upon being a spouse or parent, what do you do if you or your spouse are infertile, if you have an only child and he dies young, or if your spouse is abusive so that you have to divorce him (or her), or your spouse gets into a car wreck, gets cancer, or has a heart attack and dies? Or, what happens if your spouse develops dementia, which, in a manner of speaking, kind of leaves you alone?

What happens when your children grow up and move out, leaving you alone with just your spouse?

Actually, what I’m saying here is true of anyone – if you’re a Codependent, never married, childless person, you have the tendency to lose yourself in the problems and lives of your friends, co-workers, and family members. That will end up being a waste of your time or being a mistake as well.

(Link): Woman Who Unpopularly Decided To Never Have Children Reflects On It Now That She’s 85 Years Old

Even though an astonishing number of people don’t feel, and have never felt, the urge to become a parent, the pressure to have kids is still tremendous.

Any person who has made this profound decision about leading a child-free life can tell you it’s usually met in two different ways. One, people mutter a series of condescending phrases such as “oh” or “you’ll change your mind”.

Two, they actually take you seriously and instantly warn you that you’ll be lonely and regret it when you’re old.

Speaking of the latter scenario, one open letter on the ‘Childfree’ subreddit put this notion to bed once and for all.

An 85-year-old widow addressed the young people of this community, shared her experience, and proudly stated that she has zero regrets about her choice. Being married for 50 years, she offered her perspective and some validating words of wisdom.

“If I could go back in time, would I do it again? (being childfree), 100% yes. I would live the same life one thousand times,” the woman wrote. Her story sparked a discussion in the comments below, with responses ranging from kudos to appreciation. Scroll down to read the story in full and the reactions that followed.

For some reason, people who decide to lead a childfree life often hear they’ll regret it once they’re old and alone

So when this 85-year-old widow shared an open letter about her childfree experience, people felt incredibly validated

Letter from an 85 year old widow: My childfree experience and a few humble opinions

Dear Young People

I wonder if I am the oldest person to post on this forum? It was a young lady who told me about this forum and I have read many of your posts and comments for a few weeks. Many have made me smile. Some have made me wince.

It appears to me, many of you on here to validate your life changing decision.

Finding people similar to you is important and I understand the needs. So can I just say, from my experience, your decision is a good one? And if you want to know why I think that, please give me 5 minutes of your time.

I was married for just over 50 years. We bucked the norm and did not want kids. In those days we said “we are trying” for a few years than “we cannot have kids,” case closed. It was our personal secret. It was nobody’s business.

If we were honest and said “we cannot have kids, because we just don’t want them” the fallout with family and friends would have been tough for us.

Our 50 years in a nutshell was perfect. Good jobs, no money worries, followed our own interests and hobbies.

Had many friends and many lovely nieces and nephews. If I could go back in time, would I do it again? (being childfree), 100% yes. I would live the same life one thousand times.

Continue reading “Woman Who Unpopularly Decided To Never Have Children Reflects On It Now That She’s 85 Years Old”

Vegan Mom Sentenced to Life in Prison For 18-Month-Old Son’s Starvation Death

Vegan Mom Sentenced to Life in Prison For 18-Month-Old Son’s Starvation Death

For the millionth time on my blog:
I am not opposed to the nuclear family, marriage, and parenthood, but my dog, do I ever not want to see another conservative annoyingly bang on and on about how “the nuclear family” (or marriage) is supposedly commanded by God in the Bible (no, God does not command it), conservatives declaring – falsely- that marriage and the nuclear family heals or fixes a culture, nope, sorry, but the Bible does not prescribe marriage or the family as “sin removers” for a society, or for the individual.

I never want another conservative or conservative think tank to repeat the same bullsh*t about parenthood they usually do: that parenthood makes a person more giving, self-less, loving, and ethical – no, no it does not.

Here’s an idiot who gave birth and didn’t do something as simplistic as feed her child the proper nutrition. So he died.

Motherhood does not make people more mature, giving, loving, responsible than being childless or childfree. Popping out a kid didn’t raise this woman’s IQ or level of common sense.

And no, Fatherhood does not make a man more mature, giving, loving, responsible – the article below says this woman’s husband is in prison for the same offense.

(Link):  Vegan mom sentenced to life in prison for son’s death from ‘severe malnutrition’

Florida ‘vegan mom’ Sheila O’Leary was convicted in June, while her husband awaits trial

(Link): Vegan mother convicted of murder in malnutrition death of her baby gets life

August 30, 2022
by Harriet Alexander

A vegan woman convicted of murder in the malnutrition death of her young son was sentenced on Monday to life in prison.

Sheila O’Leary, 39, whose family followed a strict vegan diet, was convicted in June on six charges – first-degree murder, aggravated child abuse, aggravated manslaughter, child abuse and two counts of child neglect – in the death of Ezra O’Leary.

Her sentencing in Lee County, Florida, had previously been postponed four times. She showed no emotion as the sentence was read out, and told the judge she did not wish to make a statement.

Her husband, Ryan Patrick O’Leary, remains in jail while awaiting trial on the same charges.

Investigators said the couple, who lived in Cape Coral, told them the family ate only raw fruits and vegetables, although the toddler also was fed breast milk.

(Link): Vegan mom sentenced to life in prison for 18-month-old son’s starvation death

By Snejana Farberov
August 30, 2022

The vegan Florida mother convicted of murder in the starvation death of her 18-month-old son after feeding him only raw fruits and vegetables has been sentenced to life in prison.

Sheila O’Leary, 38, learned her fate Monday after her sentencing hearing was delayed four times following her conviction in late June for first-degree murder in the 2019 death of her son, Ezra O’Leary.

The Cape Coral woman also was handed two 30-year sentences for aggravated child abuse and aggravated manslaughter of a child, and an additional five-year term for child abuse and child neglect, to be served concurrently, reported the Fort Myers News-Press.

Continue reading “Vegan Mom Sentenced to Life in Prison For 18-Month-Old Son’s Starvation Death”

Mom FaceTimed Ex to Show How She’d Slit His Kids’ Throats: Cops

Mom FaceTimed Ex to Show How She’d Slit His Kids’ Throats: Cops

Contrary to many secular and religious marriage idolaters and nuclear family idolaters, marriage, parenthood, and the nuclear family don’t improve society or make a person more godly, ethical, loving, or responsible.

Motherhood did not make this woman more loving, godly, mature, or responsible.

(Link): Louisiana mom FaceTimed her ex to show how she’d slit his kids’ throats: cops

by Lee Brown
August 10, 2022

A disturbed Louisiana mom repeatedly video called her ex after slitting their two young kids’ throats — showing him his daughter “gasping for air” before she died, according to harrowing court documents of the “unspeakable” crime.

Jenee Pedesclaux, 31, first called her ex, Jermaine Roberts, to tell him she’d damaged his vehicle amid their bitter child-custody battle — and that she planned to kill herself and their kids rather than go to jail, according to court documents obtained by NOLA.com.

She then FaceTimed him three times to show how she’d stabbed their 2-year-old son, Jay’Ceon, and daughter, Paris, 4, the report said.

In the last video call, she showed him how she had slit both kids’ throats — with their daughter “gasping for air” on the bed before later being pronounced dead in a local New Orleans hospital, the outlet said.

Continue reading “Mom FaceTimed Ex to Show How She’d Slit His Kids’ Throats: Cops”

Mom Busted for Selling Newborn Baby to Pay For $3,600 Nose Job

Mom Busted for Selling Newborn Baby to Pay For $3,600 Nose Job

Being a parent does not make a person more loving, ethical, responsible, or godly.

I say this because too often other conservatives and hyper-pro-nuclear family advocates, such as Al Mohler and Brad Wilcox (of “National Marriage Project” and “Institute for Family Studies”) keep pumping out propaganda that society could only be vastly improved if everyone would marry and have children – because they believe marriage and parenthood automatically confer good character into a person – which is not true.

If you’re willing to sell a baby for cash to get a nose job, quite obviously, being a parent didn’t make you less selfish, more loving, etc.

(Link): Mom busted for selling newborn baby to pay for $3,600 nose job

by Andrew Court
July 11, 2022

Big nose, small heart.

A ruthless Russian woman has reportedly been arrested for selling her newborn baby to pay for a $3,600 rhinoplasty.

The 33-year-old woman — whose name has not been disclosed by Russian media — was taken into custody in late May on suspicion of human trafficking, the Daily Star reports.

The mom is said to have given birth to a baby boy on April 25 at a hospital in the southern city of Kaspiysk, before selling him off just five days later to a local couple looking to become parents.

Continue reading “Mom Busted for Selling Newborn Baby to Pay For $3,600 Nose Job”

Woman Admits She’s Fed Up Feeling ‘Lesser Than’ Because She Doesn’t Have Kids

Woman Admits She’s Fed Up Feeling ‘Lesser Than’ Because She Doesn’t Have Kids

(Link): Woman admits she’s fed up of feeling ‘lesser than’ because she doesn’t have kids

If you decide not to have children, it must be really frustrating when you don’t feel like your achievements are taken seriously – just because you don’t want kids

June 30, 2022
By Danielle Kate Wroe

A woman has taken to Mumsnet to highlight the injustices she feels as though she has faced because she has chosen to be child-free.

She claims nobody seems to care about her achievements because they do not involve children.

Continue reading “Woman Admits She’s Fed Up Feeling ‘Lesser Than’ Because She Doesn’t Have Kids”

Mother And Grandmother Of Girl, 9, Are Arrested for Murder After She Died From Severe Lice Infestation

Mother And Grandmother Of Girl, 9, Are Arrested for Murder After She Died From Severe Lice Infestation

Look at those Family Values at work!

Al Mohler and guys like Mohler teach that marriage and parenthood bestows instant maturity and compassion on anyone and everyone!

Looks like being parents didn’t make either of the women in the news story below more loving, responsible, or ethical.

(Link):  Mother And Grandmother Of Girl, 9, Are Arrested for Murder After She Died From Severe Lice Infestation

June 11, 2022
by Gina Martinez

The mother and grandmother of a 9-year-old girl have been charged with murder after the she died from a severe lice infection.

Sandra Kraykovich, 38, and 64-year-old Elizabeth Kraykovich, the mother and grandmother of the unidentified child have been arrested in Arizona and charged with first-degree murder, LawandCrime.com reported.

The pair were arrested for child abuse after emergency personnel responded to their Tucson home on March 22 and found the girl unresponsive with ‘a large amount of bugs on her face,’ court documents said.

Emergency personnel told investigators that ‘upon closer inspection it was discovered that there was an enormous amount of lice in her hair’.

Continue reading “Mother And Grandmother Of Girl, 9, Are Arrested for Murder After She Died From Severe Lice Infestation”

Mother Jailed for Making Boy, 15, Her ‘Sexual Play Thing’ and Later Giving Birth to His Baby

Mother Jailed for Making Boy, 15, Her ‘Sexual Play Thing’ and Later Giving Birth to His Baby

Does motherhood make women more godly, loving, mature or ethical?

No, no it does not. But extreme natalism and extreme pro-nuclear family, pro-marriage advocates such as most conservatives keep arguing that it does.

(Link):  Mother, 40, is jailed for nine-and-a-half years for making boy, 15, her ‘sexual play thing’ after plying him with cocaine and cannabis in sordid plot before later giving birth to his baby

by Katie Feehan
June 15, 2022

A mother who sexually abused a 15-year-old boy and treated him like her ‘sexual plaything’ before having his baby has been jailed for nine and a half years.

Sarah Campbell groomed her victim and later had sex with him on a golf course and under a blanket while others were sleeping in the same room, the court heard.

The mother, now 40, would also ply the boy with cocaine and cannabis so they would ‘get off their barnets’ together as part of her sordid plot to make him her ‘sexual plaything’ between 2016 and 2017.

Continue reading “Mother Jailed for Making Boy, 15, Her ‘Sexual Play Thing’ and Later Giving Birth to His Baby”

Federalist Magazine Staff Annoyed that Other Outlets Publish the Down Side of Motherhood and Are Requesting Sunny Motherhood Propaganda Pieces – As If Conservatives Haven’t Pushed for Motherhood Enough? The Mind Boggles

Federalist Magazine Staff Annoyed that Other Outlets Publish the Down Side of Motherhood and Are Requesting Sunny Motherhood Propaganda Pieces – As If Conservatives Haven’t Pushed for Motherhood Enough? The Mind Boggles

I apologize if you’re actually a regular reader of this blog (do I have any regular readers?, I don’t know!) and if you get really tired of me repeating myself, but I never know who is reading whatever blog post I write (it may be their first visit), and I don’t want anyone to misunderstand where I’m coming from.

At first glance, most conservatives would probably confuse me for a nuclear family-hating, man-hating, feminist liberal, merely because I criticize other conservatives for their inaccurate, at times insensitive, or non-stop, abnormal and un-biblical obsession with promoting marriage, motherhood, and the nuclear family.

I’m a conservative, I am not a feminist, and I don’t hate marriage, parenthood, or the nuclear family.

But you damn skippy I am going to call out other conservatives when I see them over-hyping marriage, parenthood and families, and especially when they do so by insulting singles for being single or the childless for being childless (whether by choice or by circumstance).

I sure don’t support the vast  majority of opinions and causes of liberals, feminists, and progressives, but occasionally, I concede they may have a legitimate point or concern on some topic or another.

I actually meant to blog about this (and a million other articles from other sources) a few months ago but didn’t get around to it at the time:

(Link): BuzzFeed Should Stop Publishing Only Negative Takes On Motherhood

The author, it says, is a “Karin Agness Lips,” which totally sounds like a made up name 😂.  The piece was published on May 18, 2022.

Here are some excerpts (and of course, below these excerpts, I’ll state where I disagree):

(Link): BuzzFeed Should Stop Publishing Only Negative Takes On Motherhood

Stories about parental regret might get clicks, but BuzzFeed acting as a PR machine against motherhood might also influence people’s decision to become a parent.

by Karin Agness Lips

As BuzzFeed contemplates its future, the website should reconsider its approach to motherhood.

…In April, BuzzFeed ran an article headlined, “Mothers Are Revealing How They Realized They Regret Having Children And How They’re Coping Now, And They’re Such Nuanced And Valid Feelings.” The first mom the article quotes said, “I regret having children because of what’s going on in the world. I feel a SEVERE feeling of doom and anxiety when I think about her future. She will probably never be able to afford a house and struggle with debt, climate change, scarce resources, and inequality. I am truly terrified, and I feel so guilty. If I was childless today, I would 100% not have any children.”

This is such a pessimistic view of motherhood and society. Yet it is a view that is getting more attention.

… [The author goes on to cite famous persons who have expressed that they will only have one or two kids and no more.

She also cites statistics showing that more and more people are opting out of parenthood – while later in the article stating that more and more people supposedly want to have children – I don’t know how one squares that circle. Maybe she means to suggest a lot of people want to have kids but feel like they cannot afford them(??).]

… Yet very little of what we see elevated in popular culture focuses on the joy and satisfaction that nurturing children brings mothers also.

… It seems like popular culture spends more time promoting the “wine mom” narrative that women need alcohol to get through mothering and less time honoring women for the work they put into mothering. Just because caregiving can be tough doesn’t mean it is not worth our time, shouldn’t be done, or is bad.

[The author links to several articles at BuzzFeed by parents who say they regret having had children.]

…We get it, BuzzFeed wants its readers to know that not everyone is happy with her decision to have children. But BuzzFeed is doing more than this. It is promoting a narrative that conflicts with what Americans want.

A huge majority of Americans have or want children. Only 5 percent of American adults do not want children.

[The author surmises that perhaps women who are mothers who enjoy motherhood are simply not writing about the joys of motherhood, so that perceptions on the subject may be skewed, since online, we seem to be hearing more from people who admit to disliking being a parent or dislike aspects of parenthood.

The author ends her piece by expressing upset that there are so many “motherhood regret” essays being published and encouraging women who enjoy motherhood to start cranking out essays about how great motherhood is.]
— end excerpts —

Where the author states:

Stories about parental regret might get clicks, but BuzzFeed acting as a PR machine against motherhood might also influence people’s decision to become a parent.
— end —

This is clearly a double standard by this author, for most conservatives are, and have been for decades, acting as a “PR machine” in FAVOR OF motherhood to influence women to get married young and to have children.

That non-stop portrayal of motherhood or marriage as being a woman’s only or highest godly role or design in life, with an underlying, sometimes unspoken promise by conservatives, that motherhood and marriage will totally fulfill a woman and bring her purpose and identity, is precisely the reason that the ladies on the left have been pushing back against this for years, because those points are false.

Continue reading “Federalist Magazine Staff Annoyed that Other Outlets Publish the Down Side of Motherhood and Are Requesting Sunny Motherhood Propaganda Pieces – As If Conservatives Haven’t Pushed for Motherhood Enough? The Mind Boggles”

Mother Ties Up Five-Year-Old Girl on Roof to Burn in Scorching 43C (109F) Delhi Heat As ‘Punishment for Not Completing Homework’

Mother Ties Up Five-Year-Old Girl on Roof to Burn in Scorching 43C (109F) Delhi Heat As ‘Punishment for Not Completing Homework’

Christians and social conservatives who revere motherhood and the nuclear family too much often like to say that parenthood is necessary to make a person more godly, loving, and responsible. They shame women who never marry or never have a kid for never marrying or for not having a kid.

I’ve never had  a kid, but if I did, I would NOT tie a child up on a burning hot roof just because she didn’t do her homework, FFS. That is an excessive punishment.

(Link):  Mother charged with tying up 5-year-old on scorching roof for not doing homework 

An Indian mother has been charged after she allegedly tied up her 5-year-old daughter on a scorching-hot roof to punish her for not doing her homework.

The horrific incident took place in the Khajuri Khas section of New Delhi on June 2, when temperatures reached 113 degrees, reported the Indian news agency ANI.

Police said the girl’s mother tied up the kindergartner’s arms and legs with a rope — and then left her on the roof of the family’s home to punish her for laziness.

(Link): Mother ties up five-year-old girl on roof to burn in scorching 43C (109F – fahrenheit) Delhi heat as ‘punishment for not completing homework’

by Lizzie May
June 9, 2022

A cruel mother in India tied up her five-year-old daughter and left her on the roof to burn in scorching Delhi heat as punishment for not completing her homework.

Disturbing video shows the girl kicking and screaming as she tries to free herself while the painfully hot 43C (109.4F) sun of India’s capital Delhi beats down on her.

A neighbour recorded the footage in the north east of Delhi, in Khajury Khas on 2 June at around 2pm in the afternoon.

Continue reading “Mother Ties Up Five-Year-Old Girl on Roof to Burn in Scorching 43C (109F) Delhi Heat As ‘Punishment for Not Completing Homework’”

I Appear Successful, But Since Having Kids I Feel I’ve Lost Myself by Annalisa Barbieri (Letter from a Married Mother Who Has Depression, Low Self Esteem)

I Appear Successful, But Since Having Kids I Feel I’ve Lost Myself by Annalisa Barbieri (Letter from a Married Mother Who Has Depression, Low Self Esteem)

Before I get to the link and the letter, I wanted to say…

The article below – via The Guardian – doesn’t make it clear, but the following appears to be an e-mail or a letter from a married mother who has low self esteem, and she’s writing to this paper for advice, guidance, and help.

I’m sorry this lady is not doing well, but I want you to take away from this that being married and being a mother (having children) will not necessarily make you happy, or bring you joy, inner peace, or a healthy sense of identity.

I’m afraid that a lot of conservatives – especially Christians – keep promoting these false notions to women, from the time we are girls, that if we just marry (and/or have children), that being married and a parent will bring us permanent happiness and purpose in life, but clearly, that is not the case.

I am not “anti family” nor “anti motherhood,” but I figured out a long time ago that being a parent or married may not bring you fulfillment in life, and it is that expectation that a lot of “pro family,” “pro motherhood” type of conservatives continue to hold up – it is misleading, false hope and propaganda.

I’ve got other examples on my blog of women who married (or who are mothers), and yet, being married (or being a mother) didn’t bring them happiness, but they were still left feeling overlooked, depressed, or lonely – in some cases, because the man they married doesn’t meet their emotional needs regularly, but spends all his day wrapped up in his hobbies or watching television.

I have blog posts of women who admit that they regret motherhood!

I think if you’re someone who had hoped or expected to marry (or have children) it can be painful  or very disappointing if that did not happen for you, but if you can accept it,
and permit yourself to go through a grieving process and determine to move on in life and determine to enjoy life anyway (in spite of life not turning out how you had hoped), that you can ultimately find joy, happiness, fun, and peace without a spouse and without children.

You can find other avenues of joy, meaning, and happiness in life that don’t involve being married or having children. I made that transition myself years ago, though it took me several years of grappling with unhappiness to get there, but it can be done.

But again, notice, that although the woman letter writer here married and had children, that she is STILL depressed, feels like a failure, feels like a “loser,” and thinks she is not enough.

Being a wife and a mother – contrary to what a lot of excessively pro-family, pro-natalism Christian conservatives bang on about – did not fill that empty void she has, nor increase her self image to a healthy level.

(Link): I appear successful, but since having kids I feel I’ve lost myself

Excerpts:

Squashing your anger down is exhausting. Try using your free time to do what makes you feel good, and see what shifts

May 20, 2022
by Annalisa Barbieri

[This appears to be a question from a writer to an advice columnist named Annalisa Barbieri? – the article doesn’t make it clear]:

[Dear Advice Columnist,]

I have struggled with depression and anxiety since my teens and have had therapy and medication on and off since I was 17 (I am now 37). I’m aware of deep-rooted low self-esteem and shame.

I feel worthless. I never want to draw attention to myself and have a paralysing fear of confrontation.

I have managed to maintain a few close friendships, have worked in the past, and am married with two kids. So I appear “successful” on the surface.

Continue reading “I Appear Successful, But Since Having Kids I Feel I’ve Lost Myself by Annalisa Barbieri (Letter from a Married Mother Who Has Depression, Low Self Esteem)”