The Entitled, Insensitive Comments Left by Entitled Christian Mothers, and the Men Who Support Them, Under the Post ‘Don’t Ask Moms To Stand In Church This Sunday (Mother’s Day)’

The Entitled, Insensitive Comments Left by Entitled Christian Mothers, and the Men Who Support Them, Under the Post ‘Don’t Ask Moms To Stand In Church This Sunday (Mother’s Day)’

As of 2018, the snotty entitlement and insensitivity of some mothers – and Christian men who support them – continues.

I’ve been blogging about this topic for a few years now on this blog. It makes me sad to see this still going on.

DefendTheSheep (person on Twitter) tweeted out a link to this reasonable essay imploring Christians to be more sensitive towards those who find the Mother’s Day holiday painful. Link to that:

(Link): Don’t Ask Moms To Stand in Church This Sunday

My problem is not with the essay itself.

As a matter of fact, I encourage you to click the link above to visit the page and read it.

My problem was with some of the hideous comments various people left below the page.

Some of the comments were just incredibly insensitive or very mistaken about why some people find Mother’s Day – especially when it’s celebrated during church services – to be hurtful or stressful.

Christians often like to teach that parenthood and marriage are necessary to make people more giving and loving and compassionate, but that is not so. The married parents leaving comments under blog posts such as the one I am discussing here are very selfish and entitled – being parents has done nothing to make them more loving, caring, or empathetic.

Continue reading “The Entitled, Insensitive Comments Left by Entitled Christian Mothers, and the Men Who Support Them, Under the Post ‘Don’t Ask Moms To Stand In Church This Sunday (Mother’s Day)’”

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New Study Suggests Women With Children Age 11 Years Faster Than Their Child-Free Peers

New Study Suggests Women With Children Age 11 Years Faster Than Their Child-Free Peers

(Link):  New Study Suggests Women With Children Age 11 Years Faster Than Their Child-Free Peers

If going through the pain of labor isn’t enough, a new study published in the journal Human Reproduction seems to suggest that women who give birth age faster than their child-free peers, at least on a cellular level.

Apparently, having a child racks up the equivalent of an additional 11 years on this one measure of biological aging and scientists are not so sure why this is.

Continue reading “New Study Suggests Women With Children Age 11 Years Faster Than Their Child-Free Peers”

Why More Women Are Having Babies at 50 and Beyond

Why More Women Are Having Babies at 50 and Beyond

(Link):  Why More Women Are Having Babies at 50 and Beyond

Excerpts:

….Duckworth [Sen. Tammy Duckworth, D-Ill] is expected to deliver her second child a few weeks after she turns 50, a time when many woman expect the end of fertility and the beginning of menopause to be around the corner.

The Senator said she delayed having children to pursue her career and, by the time she was ready, she had to overcome infertility.”The early part of my career, which was also, [like] for most women, your twenties and early thirties, your prime fertility years,” she told ABC station WLS in Chicago, “were also my career-building years.”

She is not alone. Duckworth is among a growing number of women, including celebrities like Janet Jackson and Sophie B. Hawkins, tackling motherhood in their fifties.

Overall birthrates in the United States have been declining for years, reaching a record low in 2016, according to National Bureau of Health Statistics, and provisional data suggests a new low for 2017.

Continue reading “Why More Women Are Having Babies at 50 and Beyond”

Men Who Believe ‘Madonna-Whore Dichotomy’ Have Less Satisfying Relationships

Men Who Believe ‘Madonna-Whore Dichotomy’ Have Less Satisfying Relationships

(Link): Men Who Believe ‘Madonna-Whore Dichotomy’ Have Less Satisfying Relationships

By Meera Jagannathan, Moneyish

Clinging to male dominance won’t do your relationship any favors.

Men who buy into the Sigmund Freud-coined “Madonna-Whore dichotomy” — i.e., viewing women as either “good” and chaste or “bad” and promiscuous — are more likely to embrace a “patriarchy-enhancing ideology” and feel less satisfied in romantic relationships, a recent studypublished in the journal Sex Roles found.

“These men may have difficulties feeling attracted to the women they love, or loving the women to whom they are sexually attracted, leading to chronic dissatisfaction in their romantic relationships,” lead author Orly Bareket said in a statement.

Continue reading “Men Who Believe ‘Madonna-Whore Dichotomy’ Have Less Satisfying Relationships”

More Women Having First Baby Over Age 40 And Out Of Wedlock: 2018 Pew Study

More Women Having First Baby Over Age 40 And Out Of Wedlock: 2018 Pew Study

(Link):  Older, educated women are more likely to have babies now, report says

(Link): Modern Mothers Are Having More Children

…And not as many women are waiting for marriage to have those babies. By 2014, 55 percent of mothers ages 40 to 44 who’ve never said “I do” had at least one child. In 1994, it was about 31 percent.

Researchers noticed a trend across all races and ethnicities: Women as a whole have started delaying motherhood. This includes millennial moms — the report found the median age for first-time mothers is now 26, while back in 1994, it was 23.

Women are also putting off motherhood until after higher education.

Continue reading “More Women Having First Baby Over Age 40 And Out Of Wedlock: 2018 Pew Study”

Women Born To Older Mothers Less Likely To Have Kids (2017 Study)

Women Born To Older Mothers Less Likely To Have Kids (2017 Study)

(Link):  Women Born To Older Mothers Less Likely To Have Kids

Excerpt:

BY JOE DZIEMIANOWICZ

The older a woman’s mother was when she was born, the less likely she is to have children, according to a new study.

Canadian researchers analyzed health records of 43,135 American women and found that nearly 20% of women born to mothers older than age 30 remained childless. The figure was 15% for women whose moms gave birth to them between 20 and 24. Of women born to teenaged mothers, 13% of them never went on to have kids.

…Still, the findings published in the journal Human Reproduction are noteworthy because women in America are having babies later in life for a number of factors, including pursuing advanced degrees and establishing careers.

Woman Gives Birth To A Giant Tumor On The Toilet After Her ‘Baby’ Turns Out To Be Cancer

Woman Gives Birth To A Giant Tumor On The Toilet After Her ‘Baby’ Turns Out To Be Cancer

Do not read this while eating. You will barf.

Another reason to feel good about being celibate and childless. No chance of this happening.

(Link): Woman Gives Birth To A Giant Tumor On The Toilet After Her ‘Baby’ Turns Out To Be Cancer

Lauren Knowles was diagnosed with a molar pregnancy, after a scan showed a mass in her womb

A MUM-of-two was forced to give birth to a huge tumour on the toilet after her “baby” was diagnosed as cancer.

Lauren Knowles was over the moon when her pregnancy test read positive.

But when the then 27-year-old noticed heavy spotting at seven-and-a-half weeks, doctors sent her for a scan.
Continue reading “Woman Gives Birth To A Giant Tumor On The Toilet After Her ‘Baby’ Turns Out To Be Cancer”

Advice Letter – 41 Year Old Never Married Woman To Marry Twice Divorced Guy, Her Mom Worried

Advice Letter – 41 Year Old Never Married Woman To Marry Twice Divorced Guy, Her Mom Worried

Oh. All sorts of bad things going on here. I’m not a supporter of May-December relationships.

Then you have the fact that this dear lady so sick and tired of being single, she’s willing to marry the first man who has a pulse who shows interest, even though he sounds not only too old for her, but possibly like a user. Red flags all over this.

I also have to say this is a switch – before on this blog, I have copied in letters from parents who are freaked out or disappointed that their adult child is age 30, 40, or older and hasn’t married yet, so the parent is begging the kid to marry anyone, just marry.

(Link): Hax Advice Column

DEAR CAROLYN: My smart, successful and never-been-married 41-year-old daughter has recently become engaged to a twice-divorced man whom she has nothing in common with except a desire to not be alone anymore.

I am worried she is his “retirement plan,” as he can’t wait to retire early from his job and live the expat lifestyle with her overseas. They have only known each other for a year, and six months of that have been long-distance.

My daughter complains he won’t stop seeing his “ex-girlfriend/best friend” who lives in the same apartment complex as him — on a different continent — and it is making her insecure.

How do I support my daughter? They have a 13-year age gap, and I just want her to slow down and think carefully about what she is getting herself into. Wanting to “check the marriage box” off your to-do list is not a reason to rush into this.

(Signed), Just Want Her to Slow Down

Dear Just:

You say: “I love you and worry about your safety.”

She will hear: “My mother thinks I can’t take care of myself.”

You say: “You barely know this man and are rushing into marriage for the sake of it.”

She will hear: “My mother thinks ‘single and 41’ = desperate and pathetic.”

You say: “He can’t wait to use you to retire early.”

She will hear: “My own mother thinks a man can’t like me for anything but my money.”

You say: “He’s obviously still seeing his ex, right under your nose.”

She will hear: “My mother thinks I’m an idiot.”

You have a message problem, one that stems from the even bigger problem of trying to be a parent to someone who is 20 years into being an adult.

(read more here)


Related Posts:

(Link):   Avoid Dating Divorced Guys Who Are Dating on the Rebound – and Icky May December Relationships

(Link):  Pat Robertson Says 44 Year old Never Married Woman Who Wants Marriage is “Desperate”

(Link):  Mom Is Ashamed of 30-Something Daughters Who’ve Never Been Married or Dated

(Link):  Dad Buys Full-Page $900 Newspaper Ad Seeking a Wife for His 48 Year Old, Never Married Son

(Link):  Idiot Assumes His 44 Year Old Sister Is A Lesbian Because She’s Never Been Married

(Link):  Never-Married Men Over 40: Date-able or Debate-able?

(Link):  How Sorry Do We Feel for the Lonesome Single Bachelors of New York? by T. Moore (never married men in their 40s talk about being tired of being single)

(Link):  Singles Shaming Mother: Her Sons are in their 30s, Great Guys, But She’s Freaking Because They’re Not Married (letter to Hax columnist)

(Link):  Creepy, wrong, immature and pathetic: older men chasing after much younger women

(Link):  Decent Secular Relationship Advice: How to Pick Your Life Partner

(Link):   Mom Is Ashamed of 30-Something Daughters Who’ve Never Been Married or Dated

(Link): My Parents Excluded Me When I Was Single — Now They’re Doing It to My Sister (Ask Amy Column)

(Link): Thirty Year Old Woman Kills Herself Due to Being Single and Childless – Churches contribute to this by either Ignoring adult singles or shaming them for being single and childless

(Link): I’m 45, Single And Childless. No, There’s Nothing ‘Wrong’ With Me. by M Notkin

(Link):  Grieving widow doesn’t need to start dating in order to heal (letter from advice column) 

(Link): Guy So Depressed Over Being Single He Cut Off His Own Penis (article)

(Link): Otherhood – An overlooked demographic – the Childless and Childfree Women and Singles Especially Women Who Had Hoped to Marry and Have Kids But Never Met Mr. Right (links)

(Link):  Are Single People the Lepers of Today’s Church? by Gina Dalfonzo

(Link): Typical Incorrect Conservative Christian Assumption: If you want marriage bad enough, Mr. Right will magically appear

 

The Failure of Sex Ed Is Killing Our Daughters by S. Goldberg

The Failure of Sex Ed Is Killing Our Daughters by S. Goldberg

(Link): The Failure of Sex Ed Is Killing Our Daughters by S. Goldberg

Excerpts:

….If these women relied on their high school sex education classes they were at a near-total loss when it came to reproductive health.

Public school curriculums dead-set on preventing pregnancy focus heavily on sexually transmitted diseases, birth control, and “using protection.”

As for pregnancy itself, senior students often get a glimpse of a woman giving birth before they pass out in horror.

Young women are never given so much as the opportunity to discuss the dynamics of choosing to have children in today’s world, let alone the biology of reproduction, let alone what should go right and what could go wrong.

Continue reading “The Failure of Sex Ed Is Killing Our Daughters by S. Goldberg”

The Dangerous Risks of Putting Motherhood on a Pedestal by C. Millard

The Dangerous Risks of Putting Motherhood on a Pedestal by C. Millard

The Dangerous Risks of Putting Motherhood on a Pedestal by C. Millard

Excerpts:

…Note the double-edged sword of motherhood here. Attracting the praise of being a “good mother” was always accompanied by the threat that you might fall from the perch at any moment and cause devastating harm to your child.

Hence the amplification of mechanisms of control, censure, and punishment that go hand in hand with the valorization and surveillance of parenting. Deep within the medical and psychological frameworks promoting motherhood in this period, there lurks male anxiety over female power and influence.

Continue reading “The Dangerous Risks of Putting Motherhood on a Pedestal by C. Millard”

Study: Motherhood Is Rotten for Women’s Self-Esteem by E. Strauss

Study: Motherhood Is Rotten for Women’s Self-Esteem by E. Strauss

(Link):  Having kids lowers women’s self-esteem for at least three years (on Twitter)

Excerpts:

…Led by researchers at the University of Tilburg, psychologists analyzed survey data collected from more than 84,000 Norwegian women between 1999 and 2008.

…The researchers found a consistent pattern: Women experienced declines in self-esteem during their pregnancies, and then increases in the six months afterwards. But then their self-esteem declined once again, and continued falling. By three years into their child’s life, it was still lower than their original “baseline.”

…After birth the picture gets more complex, and another clue might lie in the study’s other major finding. At the same key intervals, researchers also asked women to evaluate their relationships.

They found that women’s estimation of their romantic partners remained fairly steady during pregnancy, but fell dramatically right after the baby was born. The same effect was also noticeable, to a lesser extent, after subsequent children were born.

(Link): Motherhood Is Rotten for Women’s Self-Esteem by E. Strauss

Excerpts:

A recent example of this comes from Norway, where researchers conducted a study for which they tracked nearly 85,000 women from pregnancy through the first three years of their children’s lives and asked them questions about how having children affected their self-esteem. The findings are dispiriting, if unsurprising.

The team, led by psychologist Manon A. Van Scheppingen, had participants fill out questionnaires rating their self-esteem and relationship satisfaction throughout this time period.

Continue reading “Study: Motherhood Is Rotten for Women’s Self-Esteem by E. Strauss”

Pastor Actually Questions, in the Year 2017, If It’s Acceptable for Mothers to Work Outside of the Home.

Pastor Actually Questions, in the Year 2017, If It’s Acceptable for Mothers to Work Outside of the Home.

I cannot believe we are in the year 2017, and Christians are still asking about this sort of thing and pontificating about it. To even ask and muse about this in 2017 is just sexist.

In regards to this story linked to below, Dee of Wartburg Watch asked on Twitter, something along the lines of, how much money does preacher Todd Wagner earn so that his wife (assuming he has a wife and kids) is able to stay at home all day to watch their kids?

How many of the women in Wagner’s church congregation (who may even be mothers themselves) have jobs outside the home, part of whose job income are paid to him in tithes, so that he can afford to have his wife stay at home and be a stay at home mother?

(Link): Does the Bible Say It’s OK for Moms to Work?

Excerpts:

July 28, 2017

by Sheryl Lynn

The pastor of a multi-site church in Texas [Watermark Community Church] recently responded to a question on whether the Bible says it’s OK for moms to work.

While it’s not forbidden, Todd Wagner questioned the motive behind a mother choosing to work over being at home with her children.

// end excerpt

“While it’s not forbidden.” – Yes, you can end it right there. Anything beyond this is Wagner’s opinion.

Continue reading “Pastor Actually Questions, in the Year 2017, If It’s Acceptable for Mothers to Work Outside of the Home.”

59-year-old who tried for 4 decades to get pregnant has baby

59-year-old who tried for 4 decades to get pregnant baby

(Link):  New York woman, 59, gives birth to her first child after trying for 40 YEARS to start a family

-Akosua Budu Amoako, 59, gave birth to her son Isaiah at full-term on June 15
-She and her husband, also called Isaiah, have been trying for a baby since they got married 38 years ago
-Now, they have undergone IVF. The baby was born 7lb 4oz in Albany, New York

(Link): 59-Year-Old Woman Who Tried for 4 Decades to Get Pregnant Has Baby

(Link): She tried for decades to get pregnant. At 59, she just gave birth 

(Link):  59-year-old who tried for 4 decades to get pregnant baby

A 59-year-old woman who had tried for nearly four decades to become pregnant has given birth at a New York hospital after fertility treatments.

Akosua Budu Amoako gave birth to a full-term 7-pound, 4-ounce boy on June 15 at Bellevue Woman’s Center in Niskayuna (nihs-kee-YOO’-nuh), near Albany.

Continue reading “59-year-old who tried for 4 decades to get pregnant has baby”

Educated Women Are Freezing Eggs Because Of “Missing Men”

Educated Women Are Freezing Eggs Because Of “Missing Men”

(Link): Educated Women Are Freezing Eggs Because Of”Missing Men

Excerpt:

Women with master’s degrees and doctorates are freezing their eggs because there are not enough educated men in the world, according to a new study.

Researchers interviewed 150 women who were having their eggs frozen at eight clinics in the US and Israel between June 2014 and August 2016. More than 80 percent of participants had college degrees.

Continue reading “Educated Women Are Freezing Eggs Because Of “Missing Men””

“I Regret Having Children” – Various Mothers Interviewed (via NY Post)

“I Regret Having Children” – Various Mothers Interviewed (via NY Post)

(Link): “I Regret Having Children” – Various Mothers Interviewed (via NY Post) by G. Wilson

….Here, a handful of women who have shared how they wish they could turn back time and do it all differently.

Single-mother hardship

“I regret having my daughter.

“She is now 12 and it is easier as they get older, but sometimes I look at her and wish she had never been born. I was/am a single mother and right from the start the moment the midwife gave her to me I didn’t feel this instant love that people talk of, all I felt was the huge weight of regret.

“Being a single mother with a baby that hardly slept and screamed all the time was awful, I was constantly exhausted, but I never told anyone about how I really felt for fear of being judged, I couldn’t give her to my parents for a night or two because of their drinking.

Continue reading ““I Regret Having Children” – Various Mothers Interviewed (via NY Post)”

Women In 30s Now Having More Babies Than Younger Moms in U.S.

Women In 30s Now Having More Babies Than Younger Moms in U.S. 

(Link):  American Women are Opting to Wait Longer to Have Kids

(Link): Women in Their 30s Now Having More Babies Than Younger Moms

Women in their early thirties are for the first time having more babies than younger moms in the United States, according to new data released by the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention. According to health experts, the shift was caused by more women choosing to wait longer to have children, as well as a steady national drop in teen births. Now, the birth rate for women in the 30-to-34 age group is about 103 per 100,000.

(Link):  For the First Time Ever, Thirty-Something Women Are Having More Babies Than Their Twenty-Something Counterparts

In many ways, this attitude, and the milestone marked by the new CDC data, represents a gain for women. As Rebecca Traister wrote in her 2016 book All the Single Ladies, the social permission to delay marriage and childbirth—as well the as the biological ability to do so, first through the use of reliable birth control, now with the help of the booming fertility industry—has given women the freedom to define themselves through means other than motherhood. As recently as 1970, the mean age of first birth was just 21, giving most women precious little time to pursue education, adventure, and professional achievement.

However, the rise of older parenthood is also a response to a workplace paradigm that levies penalties on mothers. The U.S. is (Link): the only wealthy nation in the world without a federal paid parental leave policy, and childcare in this country is (Link): exorbitantly expensive and (Link): frighteningly under-regulated. Together, these factors push many women to put off pregnancy in the name of professional success or financial stability.

In her 2012 book Ready: Why Women are Embracing the New Later Motherhood, University of Houston professor Elizabeth Gregory analyzed census data from 2000 and found that delaying motherhood measurably increased women’s earnings.

(Link): Women In 30s Now Having More Babies Than Younger Moms in U.S.  – May 2017

For the first time, women in their early 30s are having more babies than younger moms in the United States.

Continue reading “Women In 30s Now Having More Babies Than Younger Moms in U.S.”

Motherhood Is Not A Woman’s Most Important Job by J. Wright

Motherhood Is Not A Woman’s Most Important Job by J. Wright

(Link): Motherhood Is Not A Woman’s Most Important Job by J. Wright

Excerpts:

…Except, for women, their mothering skills are becoming an increasingly relevant topic of discussion. In the past year, women have been told either implicitly or explicitly that traditional roles are the ones they should be most focused on fulfilling. We’re dealing with a President who has said “putting a wife to work is a dangerous thing,” because, “a softness disappeared.” He also said that “when I come home and dinner’s not ready, I go through the roof.”

….Being a parent is a source of joy and challenge and meaning for many humans of all genders. But it’s not the most important job there is. It’s not even technically a job, insofar as it pays no money. It is more like a very demanding volunteer position that you can never, ever get out of.

And, as rewarding as that position may be, producing a younger person is not necessarily the main contribution people make to the world. People can probably not tell you how many children Harriet Tubman or Marie Curie or Elizabeth Cady Stanton had, but they can, hopefully, tell you what they did.

Continue reading “Motherhood Is Not A Woman’s Most Important Job by J. Wright”

Mom Allegedly Beats Son Who Gave Mother’s Day Card to Grandmother, Not Her

Mom Allegedly Beats Son Who Gave Mother’s Day Card to Grandmother, Not Her

Why, why, why, are so many of my fellow conservatives so doggedly determined to defend a secular holiday which unnecessarily alienates or hurts so many people (such as infertile couples, etc), and things like this happen (and, I find this story to be heart-breaking – the kid was just trying to give his grandmother a card, for pete’s sake):

(Link): Mom allegedly beats son who gave Mother’s Day card to grandmother, not her – May 14, 2017

A South Carolina mother has been accused of beating her young son after the boy made a Mother’s Day card for his grandmother, but not one for her.

Spartanburg Police said Shontrell Murphy, 30, repeatedly hit her 6-year-old son after ripping up the card, Fox Carolina reported.

Continue reading “Mom Allegedly Beats Son Who Gave Mother’s Day Card to Grandmother, Not Her”

Your Church’s Mother’s Day Carnation is Not Worth Any Woman’s Broken Heart – A Critique of ‘When Mother’s Day Feels Like a Minefield’ by L. L. Fields

Your Church’s Mother’s Day Carnation is Not Worth Any Woman’s Broken Heart – A Critique of ‘When Mother’s Day Feels Like a Minefield’ by L. L. Fields

Please note this blog post has undergone some modifications here and there since I first published it – a few fixed typos, some additional thoughts have been added here and there.


Here’s the link to the editorial – below it, I will comment about it, then a bit later, provide some excerpts from it, followed by yet more critiques):

(Link):  When Mother’s Day Feels Like a Minefield –  Let’s reimagine ways we can honor mothers without wounding others.   by L L Fields via Christianity Today magazine

Here are some of my thoughts about the editorial:

As I first began reading it, I had high hopes. I was optimistic.

It started out on the right foot but descended into a let-down where Fields is arguing for the status quo, which is inexcusable, especially after she admits she was educated, (after she publicly asked for feedback from women), as to how so many women find church Mother’s Day celebrations so painful.

(The summary of her piece: she doesn’t really care about your pain, you childless woman, or you women who are grieving for their dead mothers; she still wants her mother’s day carnation handed to her by a pastor, dammit, and culture doesn’t do near enough, she argues, to honor motherhood!
She would no doubt want to push back and say, ‘hey, I do care about other women’s pain’ – but no, she does not, if she is still arguing to keep Mother’s Day in place as-is. Please keep reading.)

First of all, motherhood is a choice for many women.

You chose to have a child. If there is one thing I cannot stand, it’s women who deliberately walk into a pregnancy and then spend 15 – 20 years complaining about how exhausting motherhood is.

Continue reading “Your Church’s Mother’s Day Carnation is Not Worth Any Woman’s Broken Heart – A Critique of ‘When Mother’s Day Feels Like a Minefield’ by L. L. Fields”

Woman’s Identity Way Too Tied Up In Motherhood (Penny on 700 Club)

Woman’s Identity Way Too Tied Up In Motherhood

The woman who wrote to Pat Robertson’s Christian show “700 Club,” Penny, did not specify if she is a Christian, and one who is a complementarian, but I wouldn’t be surprised if she was one or both.

She wrote:

Four years ago, I was going through an extremely difficult time. My 16 year old daughter left home and moved 2,000 miles away.

Not only was my daughter gone but it seemed like 16 and a half years of my life were gone too. Being an at home mom made it that much more difficult for me.

I dealt with extreme rejection, loss, and sense of purpose. I felt like a failure. I lost my daughter, I lost friends and financially we struggled.

We lost our home and we lived in poverty. I grieved going through so much loss. If my own child didn’t even need me, then what is my purpose in life?

[signed]

PENNY

I think it’s unfortunate that some women think their only value is in child-rearing, that they base their entire identity on being a wife and mother, which is what Penny has done.

Continue reading “Woman’s Identity Way Too Tied Up In Motherhood (Penny on 700 Club)”