Is America Ready For A Single President? by J. Weiss

Is America Ready For A Single President? by J. Weiss

This article, or the tweets advertising it, were saying that the public is “fascinated” by “bachelors.”

It’s so sexist. The public has never been “fascinated” by women who remain single. We single, (never-married) women instead get insults and derogatory labels such as “cat lady” or “spinster.”

(Link): Is America Ready For A Single President?

Excerpts:

by J. Weiss, Feb 9, 2019

Cory Booker is about to find out just how much U.S. attitudes about politicians and their personal lives have shifted.

A bachelor in the White House? It’s such a compelling scenario that Aaron Sorkin once wrote a movie about it.

“The American President” came out in 1995, years before “The West Wing” and decades before never-married Senator Cory Booker announced own run for president. Michael Douglas stars as a widowed commander in chief who falls for an environmental lobbyist. (They meet cute when he overhears her insulting him in a White House meeting room.)

Their courtship is a lesson in the perils of presidential dating: the media mob, the character attacks, the moment where the president has to choose between his crime bill and his girlfriend’s clean air bill. On the second date, he also seems to tell her some classified security information, though the movie doesn’t make a big deal out of that.

It’s clear that every moment is a minefield, for both the president and the person he’s trying to woo—something Booker seems to grasp as he makes the media rounds in these early days of his campaign.

During his appearance on the syndicated morning radio show “The Breakfast Club” early this month, the conversation turned to his dating life—“Cory Booker got a boo?” exclaimed a host named Charlamagne—and the man known for glib speeches in Senate hearing rooms got cagey, all of a sudden. “Out of all the issues we talked about,” Booker stammered, “this is the most uncomfortable part of this interview.”

Like it or not, it’s going to keep coming up. Continue reading “Is America Ready For A Single President? by J. Weiss”

The Dating Project: A Documentary Movie About Singleness and Dating

The Dating Project: A Documentary Movie About Singleness and Dating

I saw one of the movie-makers for The Dating Project interviewed, and she says that this movie is promoting the idea that people start dating again.

The focus is on younger people, but I see this problem among folks over the age of 30 as well. If you are 30 or older now (as of April 2018) and grew up in a conservative Christian family or church, you were probably taught (and still taught) a bunch of dating concepts and ideas that have actually kept you single (see this post as an example).

I am over the age of 40 and have never married. I was engaged in my late 20s to my early 30s but broke up with my fiance. I have always wanted to be married, but I never found the right person.

As far as I could tell in seeing the interview with the woman film-maker of this dating movie, the assumption seems to be that being single is “second best” or weird.

Let me just say, as I’ve said many times on this blog, that on the one hand, while there is nothing wrong with being married or wanting to get married, that there is also nothing wrong with being single, and it is wrong to (Link): to denigrate singleness to promote marriage.

I’d like my desire for marriage to be respected, but at the same time, so long as I remain single, (Link): I’d also like myself and my singlehood status to be respected, not jeered, mocked, or put down by conservatives, who frequently shake their index fingers in the faces of singles like myself, and who write fear-mongering articles about how supposedly single life is so much more horrible than married life (see anything written by (Link): Bradford Wilcox or (Link): Mark Regnerus), all because they are worried about declining marriage rates.

I want to be married one day, and I don’t appreciate Christians telling me that my desire for marriage is “an idol” (for it is not), but I also do not appreciate Christians or secular talking heads on television news stations shaming singles for being single and for making singleness sound as though it’s a disease one should be ashamed of having.

Many times, conservatives (of which I am one) assume, quite wrongly, that any one who is single past the age of 30 is single deliberately. Especially if one is a single female past age 30, Christian talking heads will write blog posts or opine on television news programs that such women must have put career over marriage, or they are harpies who hate men – but this is usually not the case.

As a right wing (conservative) woman who always desired marriage, I find myself single by circumstance, not due to choice. I did not put career above dating or marriage, and so on and so forth. I find such assumptions, which are often held by other conservatives and by many Christians, deeply insulting and ask my fellow conservatives to stop making such assumptions.

The Dating Project Movie

Here are some links to articles about The Dating Project movie (a movie which I’ve only read a little bit about, I have not seen it yet):

(Link):

(Link):  From hook-ups to romance, ‘The Dating Project’ explores the one thing we all want

(Link):  BC Professor Says Traditional Dating Has Deteriorated 

(Link):  Dating 101: Film takes aim at America’s hookup culture and the death of courtship

Excerpts:

The shock of reading Laura Sessions Stepp’s 2007 book, “Unhooked: How Young Women Pursue Sex, Delay Love and Lose at Both,” hadn’t worn off when I was offered the opportunity to view an advanced screening of “The Dating Project,” a film about modern relationships that will be released nationwide—for one night only—on April 17. Both are a wake-up call for Americans, many of whom are in the dark about how dramatically dating has changed.

So dramatically, in fact, that it no longer exists. Dating is officially dead.

Continue reading “The Dating Project: A Documentary Movie About Singleness and Dating”

Actor Supposedly Too Self-Absorbed to Get or Keep a Girlfriend

Actor Supposedly Too Self-Absorbed to Get or Keep a Girlfriend

I’m not sure if this is true or not – it comes via a celebrity site.

While some women can be very self-absorbed, I think this is more of a male tendency, because it is culturally supported.

Most of us American women are taught while still in childhood that it is selfish for us to get our own needs met, that we should only cater to the needs of those around us, and we should be really nurturing and supportive to those around us. Boys do not usually get this same sort of conditioning.

So, these boys grow into men who are accustomed to females catering to them and listening to them chatter away about themselves endlessly.

Most women are not happy with this, by the way.

We women grow to resent and loathe giving men un-reciprocated emotional support more and more the older we get.

A lot of our culture and god knows gender complementarian Christian churches advocate this view that women exist merely to serve, cheer on, and encourage men.

So, a lot of you men just assume a woman should be there for you, listen to you talk about yourself and your problems for hours on end, and offer words of support.

My ex fiance’ was certainly like this – he was very self absorbed and dominated all of our phone and in-person conversations, and never asked about me or how I was doing.

My ex expressed NO interest in me or my life, but he would sure expect me to sit and listen to him gab about him and his hobbies, job, etc, all the time. It was so very annoying.

I grind my teeth just thinking about all the times I sat there for an hour or longer listening to him go on and on about himself in phone calls or over dinner dates.

If you are a man who is dating around and you’re puzzled as to why you cannot get a girlfriend, it may just be because you are too self-absorbed and don’t show an interest in the women you are with.

You may be spending too much time talking about yourself and you don” ask the woman you’re with about her thoughts or about her life.

This actor they are discussing (who a lot of women find very sexy) played “Superman” in a few movies:

(Link): HENRY CAVILL: TOO FULL OF HIMSELF TO GET A GIRLFRIEND!

Playing Superman has clearly gone to the Brit actor’s head, pals say.

May 3, 2017, by R. Sanchez

Playing Superman has gone to Henry Cavill ’s head: The Brit actor is so full of himself, sources say, he’s having trouble finding a girlfriend.

Continue reading “Actor Supposedly Too Self-Absorbed to Get or Keep a Girlfriend”

If You Are Ever Bummed About Being Single, Maybe Watch “Gone Girl” (Movie)

Yeesh. If you are single, want to be married, and ever feel lousy or discouraged about being single still, you might want to check out the movie “Gone Girl.”

Or not. It may forever discourage you from dating ever again, LOL – which is why I put “maybe watch it” in the subject heading of this post.

What a creepy movie.

I saw it tonight because it came on one of the cable TV channels I get.

It stars Ben Afflec (however his name is spelled) married to some blonde lady. This movie contains twists and turns.

You start out feeling bad for the wife, because the husband looks like a cheating, insensitive, selfish, lazy, jerk.

But then as the movie goes on, you learn the blonde wife is no prize, either. You then also feel sorry for the husband as you start learning more about the sicko wife.

Continue reading “If You Are Ever Bummed About Being Single, Maybe Watch “Gone Girl” (Movie)”

Love Does Not Have to Be Romantic or Erotic: Maleficent Movie

Love Does Not Have to Be Romantic or Erotic: Maleficent Movie

Usually, secular culture (including Hollywood) and Christian culture prioritize romantic (or erotic) love.

Jesus Christ taught in the New Testament that his followers are supposed to place him at the center of their lives, with spiritual brothers and sisters taking priority, or at least equal to, their family of origin (read more about that (Link): here).

Christians, however, continue to prioritize biological family or spouse over spiritual family, which alienates the widows, the divorced, and other Christians who are single or who don’t have nuclear families.

Every once in awhile, I come across a movie or television show that “gets it,” which gets that sometimes, friends or friendship means more than “family,” or more than a spouse. Sometimes, you’ll end up alone if you don’t have friends.

Or, sometimes the message presented in entertainment is that family is what you make it – meaning, the friends you choose to associate with, not the family you’re born into.

I’m not opposed to marriage. Part of me would still like to marry eventually, but, I so tire of the culture making the message out to be that the only true, valid form of love is romantic love (i.e., dating or marriage).

I watched the movie “Maleficent” on cable television the other day, and was pleased to see that this story acknowledges that sometimes, “true love” does not come from a Prince Charming, but from one person caring about another one in a platonic way.

Continue reading “Love Does Not Have to Be Romantic or Erotic: Maleficent Movie”

WashPost Columnist: ‘Ghostbusters’ Haters Are ‘Virgin Losers’ – (via NewsBusters Site); Both the Right and Left Wing Get Some things Wrong About This

WashPost Columnist: ‘Ghostbusters’ Haters Are ‘Virgin Losers’ – (via NewsBusters Site); Both the Right and Left Wing Get Some things Wrong About This

This story comes from NewsBusters, which is discussing a column written for Washington Post newspaper by columnist Kristen Page-Kirby about the new Ghostbusters movie.

The original Ghostbusters movie, released in the 1980s, contained four male leads. The reboot version of the movie, which was released July 15, 2016, contains four women leads instead.

Unfortunately, over a year or more ago, when news came out that there would be four women leads in the film, some of the sexist jerkwads who inhabit the internet started lambasting the movie all over You Tube, Twitter, and where ever else – not because the move was bad (it wasn’t even released yet), but because they were incensed that Hollywood was cramming some form of feminism down their throats.

Interestingly, I didn’t see as much backlash over the main character of the new Star Wars film, “Star Wars: The Force Awakens” being a woman – Rey.

gbLogo
Ghostbusters Logo

At any rate, I will be discussing two or three different topics in this post that are related to this new film, or mentioned by the conservative essayist at the NewsBusters site.

This is another story where I am in the middle. I can’t say as though I’m completely on one side or another in regards to some aspects of this story, depending on what is under discussion.

I am currently a moderate right-winger (I used to be more to the right than I am currently. In the last few years, I’ve been reconsidering if some of my former political and Christian beliefs are wrong.)

I’ve been more open the last few years to hearing the criticisms and views of liberals and Non-Christians – which is not to say I agree with everything I see left wingers and Non-Christians espousing or arguing in favor of.

I sometimes think secular, liberal feminists have good points on some topics, but I normally disagree with them.

As far as the Ghostbusters film reboot is concerned, I do think some of the backlash against the movie does in fact stem from sexism. But then, I do think some people may honestly feel that the movie is genuinely bad due to having a poor story line, or what have you.

I have not seen the movie yet. I don’t go to movie theaters that much anymore.

I usually wait until movies air on cable television; I’m willing to bet that this Ghostbusters reboot will probably be shown on F/X channel, or SyFy, or some other cable network in the next two years, and I have cable television, so I don’t know if I want to invest my time and cash into driving down to a theater to see this, since it will eventually be on television.

I saw the original Ghostbusters in a movie theater when it was in theaters in the 1980s. I was a kid at the time.

The original was okay, it was quite enjoyable and plenty of fun, but it was no movie masterpiece, so to all the men online who were griping about the reboot featuring all women leads: get the hell over it already.

And yes, you were, or are, being sexist douche bags about it. I don’t buy for a moment that ALL male griping about the film is based on non-sexist reasons, like shoddy trailers, or supposed poor CG work.

The vast majority of the professional reviews (and I have read a ton of them) for the new Ghostbusters film have deemed it “okay.” -Not terrible. Not great. But just “meh.” It’s so-so, most reviews have said.

What I don’t appreciate is that the columnist for WaPo who was discussing male backlash about the movie is using virginity as an insult.

Continue reading “WashPost Columnist: ‘Ghostbusters’ Haters Are ‘Virgin Losers’ – (via NewsBusters Site); Both the Right and Left Wing Get Some things Wrong About This”

Romantic Comedies: When Stalking Has a Happy Ending (from The Atlantic) / Men Who Mistake Platonic Friendliness For Flirting – So Annoying

Romantic Comedies: When Stalking Has a Happy Ending (from The Atlantic)

Some people confuse what this article from The Atlantic terms “persistent pursuing” with courtship. That is, men do it all the time, and some women, due to Hollywood Rom Coms, have been conditioned to view this as normal, romantic behavior.

May I add another related issue: men who mistake platonic chit chat with flirting?

That drives me up the wall. It’s one reason I am usually loathe to enter into pleasantries with men I don’t know when I’m in stores or sitting around in waiting rooms, because many men mistake idle, polite banter for,

  • “Oooh, this lady is into me, she is warm for my form, she wants to marry me and make babies with me, I am one sexy beast, grrrrr.”

So these men ask for your phone number or they get all flirty back. And you, the woman, are like, “I did NOT send this dude any sexy signals, where is this coming from?”

No, dude, my romantic interest is only in your imagination. (Duran Duran (Link): sang of this very concept.)

Me saying stuff like, “Wow, some crazy weather we’ve been having lately, huh?” as we’re sitting in Wal-Mart’s auto care center waiting for our tires to be rotated is not me hitting on you.

Me hitting on you, men of the world, consists of me putting one hand behind my head, one hand on a jutted out hip, head tilted back, eyes narrowly parted, and me saying something (in a seductive sounding, cat like purr), like, “Hey there big boy, you come here all alone? Mama likes what she sees! May I have your phone number? Are you free for a date this Saturday?”

Think (Link): this.

Yes, (Link): this is what a woman who is flirting with you looks like, the facial expression and mannerisms.

About men who refuse to take “no” for an answer from a woman they are interested in, who confuse pursuing with stalking: other than entitlement, I wonder if what drives some of these men is a sense that they HATE to be alone and MUST have a romantic partner to “complete them.”

I know this sort of thinking is very common among a lot of women. I think secular society (and Christian culture) does try to convince people there is no way they can be whole and happy single. There is a lot of pressure on people to pair up and date or marry.

Culture (especially through movies and TV shows) and churches need to stop sending this bogus message that there is something wrong, flawed, or second class about being single as an adult.

There is no disgrace in being single. I understand if you are single and lonely and pine for a significant other how hard it can be at times, but you are okay on your own.

You are not some loser or in-complete if you don’t have a mate, contrary to the messages Christians and Hollywood like to send us all.

(Link):  Romantic Comedies: When Stalking Has a Happy Ending by Julie Beck

Excerpts:

Overly persistent pursuit is a staple of movie love stories, but a new study shows that it could normalize some troubling behaviors.

…Reasonable people know that rom-coms aren’t what love is really like, just as reasonable people know that porn is not what sex is really like. But these movies still create an image of romance that leaks into the atmosphere and may subtly shape people’s perceptions and expectations of love.

One troubling way they may do that is by making stalking behaviors seem like a normal part of romance, according to (Link): a new study by Julia Lippman, a postdoctoral fellow in the department of communication studies at the University of Michigan.

…[Lipman says] “Indeed, they may be seen as reflecting one of the great cultural myths of romantic love: that no matter how big the obstacle, love will conquer all.”

The website TV Tropes, which tracks, wiki-style, frequently-used narrative devices—not just on TV, but in all kinds of fiction—has a page for this. It’s aptly titled (Link): “Stalking Is Love.”Lippman files stalking under the broader umbrella of “persistent pursuit,” which can also encompass “more benign and even positively regarded behaviors such as some types of romantic courtship,” she writes.

Continue reading “Romantic Comedies: When Stalking Has a Happy Ending (from The Atlantic) / Men Who Mistake Platonic Friendliness For Flirting – So Annoying”

The Lobster – a movie that sounds like how the church treats adult singles

The Lobster – a movie that sounds like how the church treats adult singles

A really nice lady I follow on Twitter (Christian Janeway; her screen name there is @XianJaneway) tweeted me today, asking me if I had ever heard of this film, and I said, no: lobsterMovie

(Link): The Lobster

Here is how that page reads:

  • In a dystopian near future, single people, according to the laws of The City, are taken to The Hotel, where they are obliged to find a romantic partner in forty-five days or are transformed into beasts and sent off into The Woods.

I told Christian Janeway that sounds pretty much how like most American Christians and churches already treat adult singles. Really.

If this movie ever comes on cable TV, I’ll give it a watch.

———–

Related Posts:

(Link): The Lobster: A Dystopian Tour de Force (A Movie About Adult Singles)

(Link):   Please Stop Shaming Me for Being Single by J. Vadnal

(Link):   The Netherworld of Singleness for Some Singles – You Want Marriage But Don’t Want to Be Disrespected or Ignored for Being Single While You’re Single

(Link):  Really, It’s Okay To Be Single – In order to protect marriage, we should be careful not to denigrate singleness – by Peter Chin

(Link):  Hey, Justice Kennedy: You don’t need to shame singles to uphold marriage by L. Bonos

(Link): To Get Any Attention or Support from a Church These Days you Have To Be A Stripper, Prostitute, or Orphan

Continue reading “The Lobster – a movie that sounds like how the church treats adult singles”

Rom Com Movie on Women Allowing Themselves To Be Used By Men – And A Leading Man Disappointment

Rom Com Movie on Women Allowing Themselves To Be Used By Men – And A Leading Man Disappointment

(This post has been edited farther below, over August 8 – 10, with more observations based on some new interviews or links I saw.

This post covers several topics, including but not limited to: how feminist characters are depicted in movies, the impact of sexism on dating, to actors who publicly express their religious and political views in an obnoxious manner.)

———————-

I am normally not a fan of “Rom Com” (romantic comedy) movies.

But I heard some good things about this particular one.

I don’t know if I want to say what it is, if I want to say what its title is.

I’ll call it “Rom Com X.”

(If you have seen this movie you may be able to guess what it is, even from my vague description below.)

One reason I don’t want to just come right out and say the title of this movie is because farther in this post I have some mild criticisms of one of its actors, and I do not want any of his fans coming here and leaving me hostile posts. I am not going to name the name of the actor I discuss below.

Rom Com X has been on cable TV a few times. I’ve seen it about twice so far, maybe three times.

I find the MC (main character) sympathetic. Well, usually. There are a few scenes in the movie where she did or said things I never would have, where she unnecessarily was hostile to a person or two.

But of course, to balance that out, she was going through a very difficult time in her life, so to a degree, you do understand she is lashing out on occasion at others and being cranky because her life is in a tail spin.

This movie was interesting on several levels to me.

I related to some of the plights of the MC (main character) in a very big way.

She and I do differ on a few points, but I have some things in common with her, if not in the details, but in the overall scheme of things.

There is an actor who plays MC’s (Main Character’s) eventual love interest in the movie. I’m going to call this guy “Actor X.” I will refer to his character’s name as “Roger.”

Continue reading “Rom Com Movie on Women Allowing Themselves To Be Used By Men – And A Leading Man Disappointment”