The Rise of Delayed Marriage and Female Friendship – article from The Atlantic

The Rise of Delayed Marriage and Female Friendship – article from The Atlantic

Speaking of friendship: there is an account on Twitter whose owner sticks up for friendship and sometimes blogs against the Christian obsession with marriage or the stupid Billy Graham Rule. That account is (Link): Forbidden Friendships (@MenWomenFriends)

The Atlantic has a very long article about societal shifts concerning the delay or demise of marriage and the rise of female friendships, as they discuss it in the context of some television show called “Broads” that is about two lady friends. I’ve never seen the show.

(Link):  Broad City and the Triumph of the Platonic Rom-Com by Megan Garber

Excerpts:

  • The show’s new season asks what its heroines, Abbi and Ilana, are to each other: friends? Partners? More?
  • ….Abbi and Ilana share, basically, what a lot of young women—and young men—share in this age of delayed marriage and emergent adulthood and platonic roommates and geographic peripateticism and economic prosperity and economic uncertainty: a friendship that occupies the psychic space that used to be devoted to spouses and children.
  • While the (Link): marriage plot may still, dissolved and distended, drive many of Hollywood’s cultural products, Broad City reflects friendship’s age-old, but also new, reality: The show is suggesting that its heroines are already, effectively, married. To each other.
  • …The women’s partnership [which is platonic; they don’t have sex with each other], crucially, is not merely a matter of social circumstance; they aren’t simply keeping each other company until their respective dudes carry them along to their Happily Ever After. They are each other’s Happily Ever After. The pair, as Ann Friedman (Link): put it, are “more obsessed with each other than they are with men.” They are very probably the loves of each other’s lives.
  • Which makes Broad City, on the one hand, yet more evidence that we are living, as The Washington Post’s Alyssa Rosenberg (Link): put it, in “a golden age of female friendship.”

Continue reading “The Rise of Delayed Marriage and Female Friendship – article from The Atlantic”

Facebook’s motherhood challenge makes me want to punch my computer screen by F. Everett

Facebook’s motherhood challenge makes me want to punch my computer screen by F. Everett

I am friends with people on Facebook who have told me in private that their mother friends – one lady is Facebook friends with a sister of hers who has three kids – are actually terrible parents in real life.

Yet, these same terrible mothers who blather on about how wonderful their children are when they are on Facebook, who post scads of posts of their smiling kids, yell and scream at the kids in real life – or neglect them.

Remember that every time you see posts by parents on Facebook, with their sweet family snaps, who are bragging about their children. They are often times selectively editing their social media to present a glossy, happy version of their life that may not be real most of the time.

(Link):  Facebook’s motherhood challenge makes me want to punch my computer screen by F. Everett

(Link): Mommy Blogger Confesses in Blog Post that Mommy Blogging is a Bunch of Fake, Happy-Clappy B.S. – Kind of Like Most Christian Adult Singleness Blogs

  • Of course it’s meant to be a bit of fun, but this smug club fetishises motherhood, and creates a new way to measure women and find them wanting
  • There are certain phrases that make my heart sink. After “Can I be really honest?” and “Mind if I join you, ladies?” the latest to engender a sense of creeping misery must surely be (Link):Facebook motherhood challenge.Of uncertain origin, this viral “challenge” demands that mothers post a series of pictures that make them “proud to be a mum” and then tag other women who they think are “great mothers”.
  • Many of my friends have done this, bouncily posting shots of themselves with interchangeable babies, all of whom look like glow-worms in padded snowsuits, and tagging whole lists of other “awesome mums” inviting them to do the same.
  • And while I fully understand that they have no intention of hurting anyone, that they are simply happy to have their wonderful children, #blessed, #lovinglife and so on, I still want to punch the screen of my computer in whenever a new one pops up.
  •  The most offensive aspect of this is the idea that it’s a “challenge” at all.
  • A challenge is coping with grief when you wish you were dead, or pushing your mind and body to the limit in a feat of superhuman endurance. It’s not posting a few snaps of your toddler and waiting for your friends to type “aw gorgeous hun xxx” underneath. And it’s unclear whether the challenge in question is to prove what a great mother you are, or merely to challenge your friends to prove that they are too.
  •  This insidious idea of (Link): motherhood as a beatific vocational calling began with the Virgin Mary, and reached its peak with the Victorian notion of “the angel of the hearth”, when mothers who didn’t have to work, and had nannies and housekeepers and nursery maids rushing about looking after their children, were depicted as celestial beings radiating goodness, their sole purpose on Earth to gather little children to their rustling taffeta bosoms and gently instruct them.

Continue reading “Facebook’s motherhood challenge makes me want to punch my computer screen by F. Everett”

Why “Family Values” Defined Conservative Christianity (and Why “Religious Liberty” has Replaced It) – by E C Miller

Why “Family Values” Defined Conservative Christianity (and Why “Religious Liberty” has Replaced It) – by E C Miller

I am right wing, somewhat Christian, and believe that many Christians and secular conservatives have made the nuclear family and marriage into idols, which is wrong.

I am not opposed out-right to the traditional family, marriage, or to motherhood, and so forth, in and of themselves, but I am in disagreement at how so many right wingers and Christians elevate all those things to the point that they end up marginalizing anyone who does not fit the mould of “married with children.”

Anyone who is infertile, child free, divorced, never married, widowed, and what have you, is excluded or treated shabbily by the majority of “family values” obsessed right wingers and Christians, which again, in my view, is terribly wrong and unfair.

Here is an article explaining how and why the religious right elevated “the family” in their rhetoric:

(Link): Why “Family Values” Defined Conservative Christianity (and Why Religious Liberty has Replaced It) by E C Miller

Excerpts:

  • From about 1970 until about 2000, American politics was largely driven by concern about the nuclear family. As established social hierarchies came under fire from the civil rights movement, the gay rights movement, second-wave feminism, and others, conservative advocacy groups and their political allies demanded a return to the idealized family of the past. “Family values” became the rallying cry of a countermovement bent on holding the traditional line.
  • Seth Dowland is Assistant Professor in the Department of Religion at Pacific Lutheran University. His book, Family Values and the Rise of the Christian Right, charts the influence of Christian “family values” advocacy across three decades and a variety of issues.
  • RD’s Eric C. Miller spoke with Dowland about the project, the politics, and the significance of family in the United States.
  • You introduce “family values” as the key term of the Christian Right in the late twentieth-century United States. Why was this term so influential for this group in this place and time? 
  • Many of the political reforms enacted from the 1930s through the 1960s—particularly the expansion of the welfare state and the passage of civil rights legislation—attempted to expand equal rights to all people.
  • Political liberals celebrated these developments, while conservatives looked around the nation at the beginning of the 1970s and saw economic stagnation, riots, sexual revolution, a decline in patriotism, and an increase in crime and drug use. Ministers and political conservatives argued that America was in decline. They believed that decline happened because of the demise of the “traditional family.”

Continue reading “Why “Family Values” Defined Conservative Christianity (and Why “Religious Liberty” has Replaced It) – by E C Miller”

Woman Rapes Her Own 1 Year Old Biological Son Sells Video To Pedo

Woman Rapes Her Own 1 Year Old Biological Son Sells Video To Pedo

Some factions of secular culture view childfree women as being selfish or horrible. Some conservative Christians think women who do not have children – whether by choice or circumstance – are somehow failures.

Some Christians think that God’s only or primary goal for women is to marry and have children, so if you do not do either, they either look down their nose at you or think of you as some kind of monster.

Of course, another myth a lot of Christians believe is that being a parent (or being married) makes a person more mature, loving, and godly.

I think news stories like this go to show that up for the falsehood it is. This women sexually assaulted her own infant son, and for a profit – she sold video of the assault to a pedophile.

I have never had a child, but I am more ethical, godly, and mature than this woman ever will be. Christians should stop holding parenthood (or marriage) up to be some kind of barometer of a person’s morality, godliness, or success in life.

There are evangelical (and other) Christians who go on and on about “Family Values,” who think that the family is “the building block of society,” and who think all of society’s issues could vaporize if only everyone would marry and form a nuclear family of their own. What bunk! Having a kid sure as heck did not automatically make this woman a pillar of society – she raped her own child!

The Bible does not say anything about “the family” saving society.

(Link): Woman Rapes Her Own 1 Year Old Biological Son Sells Video To Pedo

Excerpts:

  • A woman who filmed the rape of a baby is now being targeted with threats by outraged members of the public. Radio New Zealand reports that 23-year-old Krystal Harvey has been sentenced to eight months of home detention, along with 100 hours of community service after she was (Link): convicted of her crimes. Numerous people believe that the punishment wasn’t harsh enough, so is this woman in danger?
  • Threats against Harvey have allegedly originated on social media, where thousands of people have united against the woman convicted of sex crimes against a child. The Facebook page Krystal Harvey Should Go To Prison has more than 3,000 followers. Meanwhile, folks on Twitter are also paying attention to this shocking case.
  • The New Zealand Herald reported earlier this week that the convicted child molester (Link): would not serve any actual jail time for her crimes. The 23-year-old woman admittedly filmed herself raping her own 1-year-old son, which she sold to a pedophile for $300. She then used the $300 to buy herself a laptop, exhibiting an incredibly low price in exchange for the bond between mother and child, and the innocence of a baby.

Continue reading “Woman Rapes Her Own 1 Year Old Biological Son Sells Video To Pedo”

Dude Beats His Seven YO Son to Death, Fed Body To Pigs – Family Values

Dude Beats His Seven YO Son to Death, Fed Body To Pigs – Family Values

Okay, let’s review. I am right wing and not opposed to the traditional family or what some other right wingers refer to as “family values.” What perturbs me is that right wingers and Christians have placed way too much importance on either concept. They marginalize adult singles, the child free, the divorced, widowers, the infertile, and others as a result.

Also, faith in Family Values is misplaced. The Bible does not advise Christians to put faith in Family Values to save culture or to save people – it says that is what faith in Jesus Christ is for.

Harping on family values is not going to necessarily improve societal ills.

Here’s a story which shows that the traditional family unit is not, contrary to what some other conservatives think, all that great, nor does the family unit always produce upstanding morality or persons – that is what the Holy Spirit is for, the Bible teaches.

Christians especially like to teach that parents and the married are more mature, loving, godly, and compassionate than those who are single or who are childless or childfree.

I don’t often see stories of adult, childfree singles who murder children and feed their dead bodies to pigs, but daily to weekly, I do see stories like this one below .

I just saw another really bad news story last week about a mother who let her boyfriend sexually assault her biological daughter on numerous occasions over a period of several years. I never got around to blogging about that one, I don’t think, but I did Tweet a link to that news story on my Twitter account.

There is simply nothing inherent about being married or being a parent which makes a person more caring or ethical than being single, divorced, or childless or childfree, something Christians and more conservatives need to be aware of.

Continue reading “Dude Beats His Seven YO Son to Death, Fed Body To Pigs – Family Values”

2015 Poll: 70% of American Women Who Have Abortions Identify As Christian

2015 Poll: 70% of American Women Who Have Abortions Identify As Christian

And 40% are regular church goers.

I’m not sure what percentage of these women are married vs. single.

Anyway, it would appear that self professing Christians are no more successful at following the Bible’s or Jesus’ teachings than Non-Christians.

If any of these women are un-married, wow, the church needs to once more re-emphasize that single adults are directed by the Bible to sexually abstain – be celibate.

If these women were celibate, they wouldn’t be having sex, and hence, obviously, would not be becoming pregnant and not feel the need to get abortions.

But too much Christians today are too afraid to speak out against sexual sin, including (Link): preachers, because doing so (Link): may upset the sensitive feelings of Delicate Debbie,  Weepy Wendy, Sensitive Steven, Fornicating Fred, or Mopey Mike.

If, as many conservative Christians believe, being a mother makes a woman more loving, godly, and mature, why do so many Christian women who become pregnant get that child aborted?

Christians really need to re-think how they measure passage into maturity, adulthood, and how they measure sanctification, because getting married or getting pregnant (ie, having a baby) does not necessarily make a person more mature, loving, or godly, as these sorts of examples on my blog continue to show.

(Link):  4 in 10 women who have had abortions are regular churchgoers

  • by Harry Farley
  • Four in ten women who have had abortions are regular churchgoers, new figures by (Link): LifeWay Research reveal.
  • The church is more likely to be a place of gossip, judgement and condemnation than care or help for women who are considering abortion, the study shows.
  • This is despite the fact that 70 per cent of women who have had abortions claim a Christian religious preference and 43 per cent were attending church at least once a month at the time of their abortion.
  • ….Perhaps because it is such a taboo, the church is becoming increasingly irrelevant for women deciding whether to have an abortion.

Continue reading “2015 Poll: 70% of American Women Who Have Abortions Identify As Christian”

Jesus Christ Removed the Stigma, Shame From Being Single and Childless – by David Instone Brewer

Jesus Christ Removed the Stigma, Shame From Being Single and Childless – by David Instone Brewer

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Reminder:

(Link): Blogger Guy John Morgan Who Accused Me Of Being Untrustworthy Finds My Blog Trustworthy Enough to Use as Resource

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These are just excerpts, so you’ll have to visit the link here to read the page in full:

(Link): Bible Scandals (Ineligible Bachelor) by David Instone-Brewer

Commenting on what it was like to be single in the time and culture of Jesus:

  • …. Girls were mostly married by the age of twelve, and if a man wasn’t married by the age of twenty the gossips started comparing notes and looking for a reason.
  • …. So why was Jesus still single at the age of thirty? It was clear to all who knew him. No-one would let his daughter marry someone of questionable parentage since, if there was any irregularity in their birth, it could cast doubt on the legitimacy of their children for ten generations. And Jesus’ birth, as everyone knew, was very irregular.
  • …. Jesus not only shared the stigma of being single – he also tried to do something to alleviate it for other single people. Jewish law excused eunuchs from the command to marry, because they couldn’t physically fulfil the duty to have children.

Continue reading “Jesus Christ Removed the Stigma, Shame From Being Single and Childless – by David Instone Brewer”