Fewer Americans Think Marriage is Needed To Create Strong Families, New Poll Suggest

Fewer Americans Think Marriage is Needed To Create Strong Families, New Poll Suggest

If you’re a Christian – you must recognize that 1 Cor 7 specifies that it is better to remain single than to marry, and no, that wasn’t merely a concession to a specific historical situation.

The Bible doesn’t teach that “marriage makes society better” or will repair a culture or nation. Christians who keep promoting that view are, from a theological perspective, in error.

As to the portions of this article where people interviewed claimed that marriage makes people happier (and I won’t be copying those portions to my post below) – wrong! That is a claim that’s been refuted before.

(Link): Fewer Americans Think Marriage is Needed To Create Strong Families, New Poll Suggest 

By Nicole Alcindor, CP Reporter

Higher percentages of Americans view marriage as being “old-fashioned” as just over half believe that marriage is needed to create strong families, according to an annual nationwide survey released on Tuesday.

Continue reading “Fewer Americans Think Marriage is Needed To Create Strong Families, New Poll Suggest”

Rise in Singles, Who Face Economic Costs, Worry Researchers

Rise in Singles, Who Face Economic Costs, Worry Researchers

(Link): Rise in Singles, Who Face Economic Costs, Worry Researchers

by Mike Schneider
Oct 5, 2021

…A new study from Pew Research Center released Tuesday underscores the economic advantages of being married, especially as the share of single people in the U.S. has grown over the past three decades.

The flip side, of course, is that it’s harder to be single, researchers say, since the unpartnered population earns less and has less education. Unpartnered men, in particular, are less likely to be employed.

The share of the U.S. population not living with a romantic partner during prime working years has grown from 29% to 38% from 1990 to 2019.

Continue reading “Rise in Singles, Who Face Economic Costs, Worry Researchers”

Twice-Divorced Lady Suggests That God Told Her He’d Send Her Husband Number Three and She Got Married a Third Time – I Actually Don’t Find This Story Uplifting

Twice-Divorced Lady Suggests That God Told Her He’d Send Her Husband Number Three and She Got Married a Third Time – I Actually Don’t Find This Story Uplifting

The woman who wrote this story for this publication (link is way, way below – she talks about having been twice divorced and was depending on God to send her spouse number three), seems like a genuinely wonderful person, and I am truly sorry she had a broken heart or two.

I am happy for her that her third marriage is working.

However… I stopped finding stories like this uplifting or inspirational years ago. I think they are untrue for most people. I think they’re misleading and give a sense of false hope to singles who’d like to marry.

Here is a link to the woman’s story, with a few excerpts, then I’ll say a few more words under it:

(Link): She Turned to God for Help Finding Mr. Right

After two failed marriages, this mother of two decided to have faith that He would bring her the right partner.

by 

[She opens her story by saying she was crying in her bathroom]

I held up my bare fin­ger, the one that had once boasted a gorgeous dia­mond ring. Divorced. For the second time. I was a woman of accomplish­ment, a school principal. Mother to two beautiful girls. Yet I was a magnet for men who were not what they seemed. Why couldn’t I get marriage right?

Continue reading “Twice-Divorced Lady Suggests That God Told Her He’d Send Her Husband Number Three and She Got Married a Third Time – I Actually Don’t Find This Story Uplifting”

Celebrating Milestones in the Lives of Single Adults – by Anna Broadway

Celebrating Milestones in the Lives of Single Adults – by Anna Broadway

A few years ago, I did a blog post or two with similar content – pointing out how churches keep on ignoring or minimizing singles by ignoring them and their accomplishments while forcing everyone to acknowledge (generally during Sunday morning church services) the milestones of married parents (e.g., announcing pregnancies, Mother’s Day celebrations, etc).

There’s nothing like that for single adults. And it’s tiresome when you’re a single.

It’s tiresome to walk into a church regularly and see the pastor or whomever in the church acknowledge marriages, new births, etc. (and this is usually done during church services where you’re part of a captive audience, and it’s done from the pulpit, so you don’t have a choice but to listen to it), but they never congratulate the adult singles in the adult singles’ lives for their milestones (e.g., gaining another college degree, buying a first home alone, getting a job promotion, etc).

Most churches unfairly only recognize marriages and “baby-making” – it’s absolutely infuriating.

(Link): It’s the Summer of Weddings. Here Are Other Milestones We Can Celebrate.

Excerpts:

by Anna Broadway
June 14, 2021

The church has a unique opportunity to recognize markers of spiritual growth in our communities.

…But watching the joyous announcements and photos of this season triggered an internal battle over my status as a single woman and my “success” in adult life. As I learned from (Link): 17 months of researching Christian singleness around the world, many cultures deem marriage a mark of maturity into adulthood, a view that too often sidelines single people.

The Bible takes a different view of maturity: one based on a relationship with Christ rather than with another person. The apostle Paul, for example, called believers to develop certain qualities rather than hit certain life markers. That ought to have significant implications for what and how we celebrate.

Continue reading “Celebrating Milestones in the Lives of Single Adults – by Anna Broadway”

Covid Singles Are Supposedly Lonely and Miserable. But Some Of Us Are Thriving Instead, by B. DePaulo

Covid Singles Are Supposedly Lonely and Miserable. But Some Of Us Are Thriving Instead, by B. DePaulo

(Link): Covid Singles Are Supposedly Lonely and Miserable. But Some Of us Are Thriving Instead, by B. DePaulo

Excerpts:

I’m single. I always have been. I also live alone. Because of the pandemic, I have not stepped foot in a restaurant or even a grocery store for nearly a year.

Apparently, I am supposed to be suffering. At the (Link): Washington Post, a story about the consequences of being “cooped up with our families for nearly a year” paraphrased an economist reassuring families that “the steepest consequences … will fall on the folks who are stuck at home alone.”

…I fully acknowledge that for some single people, the pandemic has been a miserable experience (as it also has for many couples and families).

But I am not one of them.

Continue reading “Covid Singles Are Supposedly Lonely and Miserable. But Some Of Us Are Thriving Instead, by B. DePaulo”

Married to the Job: How a Long-Hours Working Culture Keeps People Single and Lonely  by S. Jaffee

Married to the Job: How a Long-Hours Working Culture Keeps People Single and Lonely by S. Jaffee

The following was true even prior to the advent of smart phones and Covid. I had one full time job in the early 2000s where my commute was a 45 minute drive either way – by the time I got home from my job, I was exhausted.

I had no energy to put on a fresh coat of make-up and meet men to date them at local restaurants. I just wanted to get into my PJs, scrub off the make-up, watch two hours of TV, then go to sleep.

(Link): Married to the Job: how a Long-

Excerpts:

Demanding bosses, impossible workloads, 24/7 email – no wonder many employees feel they have no time outside work to find love

….But recently she [a never married woman named Laura Hancock] had a moment of realisation. “I can’t afford my rent, I have no savings, I have no partner, I have no family. I’m 38 and most of my friends have families; they’re buying houses,” she says. “There is a lot of grief around that. I feel like I’ve just landed on Earth, like a hard crash on to the ground, and am looking around and feeling quite lonely.”

Hancock is one of the many people in recent years to recognise that they have devoted themselves to their work and neglected everything else that might give their life meaning.

Continue reading “Married to the Job: How a Long-Hours Working Culture Keeps People Single and Lonely  by S. Jaffee”

Christian Singles Aren’t Waiting for Marriage to Become Parents by Kara Bettis

Christian Singles Aren’t Waiting for Marriage to Become Parent

The following was published by Christianity Today in March 2021, but it’s actually kind of old news; if one reads “Quitting Church” by Julia Duin, she already noted in that book that a lot of single Christian women who wanted to be mothers were turning to sperm banks and so on, because the Christian husband promised to them by Christians never appeared.

So these unmarried women decided to go ahead with motherhood alone. And that information was published in that “Quitting Church” book, which I believe was published around 2008?

Many Christian churches and denominations have a real problem with adult singles, in that they are not doing squat to help singles who’d like to marry to actually get married – all most Christians and churches do in this regard is offer platitudes, shaming, or patronizing advice that doesn’t work…

Or, many Christians love to COMPLAIN about singles being single – rather than, you know, actually DOING SOMETHING to fix the situation (for those that would like to be married, not all singles do).

(Link): Christian Singles Aren’t Waiting for Marriage to Become Parents

As more unmarried women and men foster and adopt, how can the church provide what some nontraditional families cannot?

Continue reading “Christian Singles Aren’t Waiting for Marriage to Become Parents by Kara Bettis”

Is There a Stigma to Being Single? by Wendy L. Patrick

Is There a Stigma to Being Single? by Wendy L. Patrick

(Link): Is There a Stigma to Being Single? by Wendy L. Patrick

Excerpts:

March 4, 2021

Even in modern times, singles are plagued by discrimination.

    • In many countries, there are now more singles than couples, but people continue to view marriage as a symbol of status and success.
    • Singles face discrimination, prejudice and financial challenges as they often earn less and pay more for social benefits, healthcare and income taxes, according to research. 
    • Many people enjoy being single, which has advantages, such as freeing up time for meaningful pursuits. 

….The Rise of Singleness

Alexandra N. Fisher and John K. Sakaluk (2020) note that within the United States, Canada, the United Kingdom, and many Scandinavian countries, there are more singles than couples (married or common-law). 

They view this as a trend attributable to the fact that people tend to date longer, marry later in life, divorce more frequently, and often value career over relationships. 

Continue reading “Is There a Stigma to Being Single? by Wendy L. Patrick”

I Haven’t Had A Boyfriend For A Decade. Here’s What I Learned. by R. Thompson

I Haven’t Had A Boyfriend For A Decade. Here’s What I Learned. by R. Thompson

Before I paste in excerpts from the article (see farther below), I wanted to say, yes, it’s unfortunately common for family and friends to shame you about being single; it’s common for them to poke fun or ask questions about “why aren’t you married yet?” or “why don’t you have a boyfriend?,” and so forth.

Now, I’m not sure of the author’s (Thompson’s) age of this piece I am excerpting below, but if you are a single adult reading this, and you find yourself nodding along in empathy and solidarity, because you too know what it feels like to be pressured or shamed by friends and family for being single, I wanted to point out that this shaming, guilt tripping, mockery and so on, doesn’t last forever.

I am now in my late forties; most people will stop questioning you and mocking you about “why aren’t you married or dating anyone yet” at some stage of your life, probably in your mid-40s.

You will have to endure a lot of the annoying, at times hurtful, mocking, innuendo, shaming, teasing, pressure, and so on and so forth, in your younger years.

The mid 30s seem to be the height of this singles shaming and ridicule for most people (based on anecdotes I’ve seen from other single adults over the years).

Continue reading “I Haven’t Had A Boyfriend For A Decade. Here’s What I Learned. by R. Thompson”

Awful Early-Marriage Promoting Editorial, ‘The Future of Christian Marriage,’ from The Christian Post that Actually Cites Deviant Mark Regnerus (December 2020)

Awful Early-Marriage Promoting Editorial, ‘The Future of Christian Marriage,’ from The Christian Post that Actually Cites Deviant Mark Regnerus (December 2020)

Below: another article (this time from The Christian Post) seemingly advocating for the good ol’ days when, supposedly, most women got married by the age of 21 and popped out 10 kids apiece and lamenting at how folks just aren’t quite into marriage now as much as they used to be.

Such articles inadvertently suggest that being single and/or childless are somehow “wrong,” immoral, dangerous for society, or “second best.” They are sometimes (Link): intentionally or inadvertently singles-shaming.

Seems that about once a year, every year, some secular conservative or Christian group or person releases some kind of editorial bemoaning delayed marriage.

You can count on these things appearing regularly. Just like death and taxes, or the sun rising in the east tomorrow.

Continue reading “Awful Early-Marriage Promoting Editorial, ‘The Future of Christian Marriage,’ from The Christian Post that Actually Cites Deviant Mark Regnerus (December 2020)”

Christians Who Marry Non-Believers Must Be Ex-Communicated, Says John Piper

Christians Who Marry Non-Believers Must Be Ex-Communicated, Says John Piper 

I have many problems with this view point of sexist John Piper for reasons I will explain below these excerpts, so stay tuned!

Those views will be expressed below the excerpt here:

(Link): Christians Who Marry NonBelievers Must Be ExCommunicated, Says John Piper

Excerpts:

December 2020
By Leah MarieAnn Klett

Christians who marry nonbelievers have “compromised” their love for Christ in acting in “open defiance of the teaching of the apostles and of God” and thus must be removed from church membership, according to pastor and author John Piper.

In a recent (Link):  blog post on his popular DesiringGod website, Piper replied to a reader who asked how the church should respond when a Christian knowingly marries an unbeliever.

The pastor first stressed the seriousness of such a situation, explaining that there are multiple “layers of sin” when a professing believer “rejects the counsel of the church elders and marries an unbeliever.”

Continue reading “Christians Who Marry Non-Believers Must Be Ex-Communicated, Says John Piper”

People Who Get Divorced Are More Likely To Die Early Than Those …  Who Never Got Married In the First Place, Study Shows (2020)

People Who Get Divorced Are More Likely To Die Early Than Those …  Who Never Got Married In the First Place, Study Shows

(Link): People who get divorced are more likely to die early than those who drink heavily, have money problems or never got married in the first place, study shows

Excerpts:

By Luke Andrews

People who get divorced are more likely to die than heavy drinkers, people with money problems and those who never got married in the first place, a study has shown.

Scientists revealed the disparity after asking 13,611 American adults aged between 50 and 104 about their lives over the previous 16 years, between 1992 and 2008.

They then collected data on those that died between 2008 and 2014, either through national mortality records or interviews with relatives.

Continue reading “People Who Get Divorced Are More Likely To Die Early Than Those …  Who Never Got Married In the First Place, Study Shows (2020)”