This is Why You’re Single – The Top Dating App Dealbreakers Revealed, by M. Notkin

This is Why You’re Single – The Top Dating App Dealbreakers Revealed, by M. Notkin

(Link): This is why you’re single — the top dating app dealbreakers revealed

by Melanie Notkin
May 5, 2023

…A sizable number of single females have had their fill of tofu nibblers. A new study on dating app dealbreakers reports that 1 in 5 women will summarily reject a man who indicates he’s a vegan on his dating profile.

The study was conducted by Alexander, also known as @Datepsych on Twitter, a behavioral and cognitive neuroscience graduate student with a passion for information gathering. He keeps his last name private, he told The Post, due to his sometimes controversial research into topics like incel culture, promiscuity and facial attractiveness.

For this study, Alexander collected 130 different dealbreakers from his 18,500 Twitter followers, coding them into a survey for a social media “convenience sample” — meaning easily accessible dating app users on Twitter — of 438 men and women, with a mean age of 32.

He then asked participants to imagine a dating profile with a photo they found physically attractive enough to consider accepting. (Or, in app speak, swiping right.)

Next, the respondents scored each dealbreaker from one to five, with one being something they could overlook, and five being an absolute no-no that would lead to an immediate rejection, or a swipe-left, no matter how attractive the profile photo. Alexander then shared the absolute 5/5 guaranteed dealbreakers in his report.

The dealbreakers with the highest percent of fives were not shockers. For example, the overwhelming majority of women say they reject male profiles that exhibit violence, or sexual and bigoted content.

Men, on the other hand, were highly unlikely to want a date with a woman who uses her dating profile to promote her OnlyFans.

But that’s where the survey responses stopped being predictable. Turns out, when it comes to dating apps, the dealbreakers are not always the ones you’d expect.

Dating Deal Breakers: Why You’re Being Rejected

Dating Deal Breakers: Why You’re Being Rejected

(Link): Why you were rejected: Body odor and being a ‘know-it-all’ top list of dating dealbreakers

Jan 10, 2023
by Chris Melore

LONDON — Rejection can sting, but the not-knowing why you were rejected can sting far longer. New research is shedding some light into the various reasons that people suddenly end relationships.

The strangest reasons people have called it off with a partner include them having dirty fingernails, being rude to a waiter, ugly tattoos, and being too clingy.

The poll of 2,000 British adults finds that over half (65%) have ended a relationship because of an “ick” — trait that turns them off — and 88 percent of them have ghosted someone completely.

For example, one in seven men (14%) would  happily break it off with someone who wanted to share food on a first date. Sixteen percent of women find wearing a tacky watch is an “ick,” while 15 percent judge someone else for referring to their favorite sports team as if they were part of the actual team.

It seems as if superstition may not be so welcomed by singles. Nearly one in six (15%) have called it quits with a romantic interest because they were obsessed with astrological star signs.

‘The Right Stuff,’ A Dating App for Conservatives – Liberal Sites Scoffing

‘The Right Stuff,’ A Dating App for Conservatives – Liberal Sites Scoffing

From what I’ve seen of a couple of left leaning sites (and certainly liberals on Twitter), the liberals seem to be rejoicing or mocking the fact that supposedly, newly launched conservative dating app “The Right Stuff” is not attracting many women members.

According to another study or two in the past few months, ALL dating sites, political or no, are struggling to attract women members.

I just did a blog post or two about it around a month ago – for the first time, there are more male users on dating sites and apps than there are female ones, and that goes for all manner of dating apps and sites, not just politically oriented ones.

Here’s at least one blog post I did about it, that mentions that gender imbalance:

(Link): Number of ‘Lonely, Single’ Men is on the Rise as Women with Higher Dating Standards Look for Partners Who are ‘Emotionally Available, Good Communicators, and Share Similar Values’, Says Psychologist

I’m puzzled by liberal joy at this perceived conservative dating site failure, as liberals say they hate conservatives, would never date one, and they also hypocritically bitch and moan about dating standards – for example, a lot of blue-haired, unattractive fat male and female progressives scream and yell about how skinny people should be forced to date them, even if skinny people find obesity a turn-off.

I would think that liberals would want conservatives to silo themselves into their own dating sites so that they, the liberals, wouldn’t have to be confronted by conservatives on dating sites.

There are single, conservative women out there – I am one of them – but one problem is that there are already too many dating sites. I joined a couple of them years ago – very well known, mainstream dating sites – and as I already belong to two or three, I have no interest in joining ten more. I think that may be playing a role in why new dating sites are having a hard time attracting new members.

While I myself am a conservative, I do not support sexism,  yet I don’t identify as a feminist (for reasons I shall not enumerate here and now), and it’s been my observation that both liberals and conservatives are sexist.

I would be cautious about using a conservative dating app, because I’ve no doubt that many of the single men on this conservative app adhere to sexist gender stereotypes – as many conservatives do (but again, progressives and liberals engage in their own type of sexism, too) and belief in traditional gender roles is associated with male entitlement and abusive behavior – so no thank you! I would be hesitant to use this dating app for that reason.

Beyond that, I don’t care if the men on this app are conservative, Republican, or if they vote Republican.

I’m fine with that in so far as it goes, but as I said, many conservative men unfortunately equate rejecting  feminism and “woke,” progressive ideology with the 180 degree opposite, equally obnoxious, awful, and wrong world view of supporting sexism against women vis a vis gender role stereotypes – as in, toxic femininity for women (which amounts to people pleasing and codependency) and toxic masculinity for men (which includes narcissistic abuse and entitled attitudes).

(Link):  The Right Stuff, a dating app for conservatives, launches this fall

Aug 15, 2022
These days, there’s a dating app for everyone, from farmers to parents to goths. Another one being thrown in the mix hopes to help you find your Mr. or Mrs. “Right” — a conservative, right-leaning partner, that is.

The Right Stuff is a new dating app for conservatives only, co-founded by John McEntee, Daniel Huff and Isaac Stalzer, three former Trump administration officials. The app is backed by PayPal co-founder Peter Thiel.

The site will launch in September and is free to join, but will be invite-only à la Clubhouse style (if you remember the social audio app’s craze mid-pandemic). This means you can’t join unless you know someone who’s already a member and they send you an invite. The invite list is limitless, though.

Woman Says Why She’s Rejecting These ‘Lonely, Single Men’ – also: Male Entitlement In and Out of the Church, Men Who Won’t Take Personal Responsibility for Their Singleness

Woman Says Why She’s Rejecting These ‘Lonely, Single Men’ – also: Male Entitlement In and Out of the Church, Men Who Won’t Take Personal Responsibility for Their Singleness

Below this article, I have a lot of comments, before I resume with providing another link related to this first one:

(Link): Woman says why she’s rejecting these ‘lonely, single men’

Aug 18, 2022
By Jana Hocking, News.com.au

Unless you were hiding under a rock this week, you would have read about an article published on Psychology Today titled “The Rise of Lonely, Single Men.”

It was written by psychologist, Greg Matos, and revealed that dating opportunities for heterosexual men are diminishing as relationship standards rise.

The psychologist explained that women are now only dating men who share the same values, have great communication skills and are emotionally available. Praise the lord!

Toxic men are out, respectful studs are in.

Now first of all, may we get out our violins and play a sad melody for the men who have treated women like absolute rubbish and then realized that they’re now single and alone. How unfair for these poor creatures.

You see, while they were bed-hopping, ghosting, breadcrumbing and doing all sort of mind f–kery to us women folk, we were quietly, and subtly embracing this ‘self love’ culture that started to emerge in TED Talks, TikTok videos, YouTube channels, and various other online forms.

Oprah preached: “If you feel like he is stringing you along, then he probably is. Don’t stay because you think ‘it will get better’. You’ll be mad at yourself a year later for staying when things are not better.”

Number of ‘Lonely, Single’ Men is on the Rise as Women with Higher Dating Standards Look for Partners Who are ‘Emotionally Available, Good Communicators, and Share Similar Values’, Says Psychologist

Number of ‘Lonely, Single’ Men is on the Rise as Women with Higher Dating Standards Look for Partners Who are ‘Emotionally Available, Good Communicators, and Share Similar Values’, Says Psychologist

If any of the usual conservative commentators, male or female, get wind of this article by this psychologist, they will somehow try to pin the blame for more men going single longer – on all women, or on feminism.

I’m a conservative who doesn’t agree with progressive woke ideology, but I’ve noticed that other conservatives, despite claiming to believe in the concept of ‘personal responsibility’ never- the- less do not want to hold men accountable for the failures of men, whether on the individual level or men as a group.

Then, these same conservatives, who bemoan the “victimhood” mentality of progressivism, go on to depict all men as being poor, put upon victims.

If men of today are finding it more difficult to get dates, they need to take personal responsibility and work on improving themselves, rather than go the usual “blame feminism” or “blame all women” route, which is what they normally do.

I can see secular and Christian conservatives blaming women for this phenomenon – they are going to blame and shame women, and yell at women to lower their standards.

I find it absolutely refreshing to learn from these articles that women are now vastly out-numbered on dating sites.

I think I read the figure is 62%; that is, 62% of the participants on dating sites are male, the rest are female, so that women have the pick of the litter, LOL. This is a nice turn around.

This is the total opposite of churches.

Most churches have gender imbalances that favor single men – most churches have way more single women than single men. If you’re a single, practicing Christian woman that wants marriage, you need to dump the “equally yoked” rule and perhaps giving dating sites a second look.

Not that dating sites and apps are a god-send, because there are weirdos, rapists, and wackos on there, but you have more single men to choose from on dating sites than in many churches.

(Link):  The Rise of Lonely, Single Men by Greg Matos

Excerpts:

Dating apps and a drastically changing relationship landscape.

KEY POINTS

• • Dating opportunities for heterosexual men are diminishing as relationship standards rise.
  • Men represent approximately 62% of dating app users, lowering their chances for matches.
  • Men need to address skills deficits to meet healthier relationship expectations.

(Link): Number of ‘lonely, single’ men is on the rise as women with higher dating standards look for partners who are are ’emotionally available, good communicators, and share similar values’, says psychologist

August 15, 2022
by Jessica Green

Men are lonelier than ever as they struggle to meet the higher dating standards of modern women, according to a psychologist.

American psychologist Greg Matos wrote in a recent Psychology Today article that the current state of young and middle-aged men’s love lives shows they need to ‘address a skills deficit’.

He said: ‘I hear recurring dating themes from women between the ages of 25 and 45: They prefer men who are emotionally available, good communicators, and share similar values’.

Yet, he claimed he’s found that modern men’s biggest problem is communication, which is ‘the lifeblood of healthy, long-term love’.

It comes as data shows dating apps are overrun with men – who represent 62 per cent of users – and figures collected in the US in 2019 showed more men than women were single.

Dr Matos said society fails to teach young boys the importance of communication, which has resulted in growing numbers of unintentionally single men.

30 Horrible Dates Whose Entitlement Is Through The Roof

30 Horrible Dates Whose Entitlement Is Through The Roof 

I am not about to copy all 30 items, so please use the link provided to visit their page if you’d like to see all 30.

As to one of the examples on the page, where the European guy tells his lady date she might be attractive if she only lost some weight – one of my friends went through this.

This friend of mine was trying dating sites in the late 1990s or early 2000s, and one of the guys she met at a dinner date, via this dating site she was using, actually told her if she wanted to date him, she’d have to lose weight.

This seems to be a somewhat common attitude by men who meet women on dates – tell them if they’d only change “X” about themselves (usually, it’s lose weight), they’d be attractive and worthy of a relationship.

This is a huge red flag. Most women who hear this will not date such a guy further.

I myself am a visually oriented woman who am not attracted to fatties, so my preference is to date in-shape guys

Therefore, I don’t have a problem per se with people who aren’t comfortable dating chubbies or fatsos, but if that’s you, you shouldn’t accept a date with an overweight person on a site only to spring this preference on them when you meet them in-person on a date, and tell them, “You know, I’d totally enter into a relationship with you if ONLY you’d lose weight,” for god’s sake!

If you can tell from the person’s dating app photo that they’re overweight in their dating site / app photos, then don’t approach them on the site for a date in real life, moron!

(Link): 30 Horrible Dates Whose Entitlement Is Through The Roof 

by Ieva Gailiūtė and Austėja Akavickaitė

Dating is complicated. After all, being selective has never been easier with the myriad of dating apps and websites that let you filter people based on their descriptions.

But let’s say you decide to go for it.

You message back and forth, awkwardly wait to be asked out, think of different conversation starters… only to discover that the person you’re interested in is way too picky to begin with.

So today, we’re diving into the not-so-pleasant incidents where people ran into dates who were ridiculously entitled. From insisting you own waterfront property to demanding a free Korean BBQ dinner, some people have unrealistically high standards.

We have combed through the internet and collected some of the best stories of people who think they inherently deserve more than anyone else…

#2 Guy Went On One Date With A Girl, Waited 3 Months Of No Contact Before Deciding To Pick Out Every Insecurity She Probably Has About Herself. Claims She Hurt His Ego, Then Proceeds To (Kind Of) Ask For A Second Date

Hello [name redacted]. I know we went on a date quite a while ago now but I’d like to explain why I haven’t messaged you.

I feel like you could have made the date much better, here’s a few reasons why. I apologize if I offend you

• • If you lost some weight you would look incredible. Maybe about a stone or so
  • You are very pale. I know you aren’t a fan of the sun but a bit of a fake tan won’t hurt
  • You have quite big boobs so you should show off cleavage more
  • I think you need to wear clothes that suit your figure and maybe update your style slightly. Just so I’m not embarrassed to be seen with you
  • You need to dye your hair a normal colour and add extensions. Longer hair is much more attractive 😍

Can’t Find “The One”? Blame Easy Dating Apps

Can’t Find “The One”? Blame Easy Dating Apps

(Link): Can’t Find “The One”? Blame Easy Dating Apps

Dating apps have made it easier than ever to find a partner. Paradoxically, the ease of finding matches means some remain perpetually single.

January 8, 2022
by Scotty Hendricks

Dating can be drudgery. The trouble of finding someone to date, going to a restaurant for a quasi-job interview, having to scrutinize everything they say for red flags like you’re trying to root out a communist agent, and then having to decide if the whole experience was enjoyable enough to do it again might make a person want to stay single forever.

Dating apps were supposed to make this easier by simplifying the first part: finding the potential mate.

With the swipe of a finger, you can search through eligible bachelors and bachelorettes all over the globe.

However, a forthcoming study in the American Economic Journal: Microeconomics suggests that the ease of using dating apps can, and does, cause some people to think that “the one” is merely one more swipe away — so they never actually go on a date.

Rebuttal to, Or Observations About, the Kerwin Holmes Jr. Editorial “On Finding ‘The One:’ Another Correction on Christian Teaching Concerning Romance”

Rebuttal to, Or Observations About, the Kerwin Holmes Jr. Editorial “On Finding ‘The One:’ Another Correction on Christian Teaching Concerning Romance”

The following post has been edited after publication to fix typing mistakes or to add more commentary.

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I will be commenting on this editorial about singleness and marriage on The Christian Post:

(Link): On finding ‘the one:’ Another correction on Christian teaching concerning romance by Kerwin Holmes Jr

That post as linked to on The Christian Post’s Facebook page:

(Link): On Finding The One – post on Facebook Page

This guy’s editorial is written in an odd way, so I’m having to go back and re-read it to just to try and comprehend some of the points he’s making.

Maybe I am totally wrong about this, but my impression is that Holmes is either in his 20s at this time, or in his 30s.
(Wait until he’s in his 40s or older and STILL single.  If Holmes still has not married by age 40 or older, his views on these matters will likely shift in time, thanks to good old life experience.)

Also distracting: his first name, Kerwin, reminds me of Kermit the Frog, so I unintentionally keep visualizing Kermit sitting at a keyboard typing this editorial I am reading. (That is not intended to be an ad hominem, just a random aside.)

At the beginning of Holmes’ editorial, he tells readers to view or read dating advice articles or videos by Christian pastors or personalities that he agrees with, such as the works by Reformed pastors or personalities in general and Voddie Baucham in particular .

Let me stop him right there.

I spent years following Christian dating advice (stuff I read or heard in the 1980s and 1990s, advice by and from standard, run- of- the- mill conservative Baptist or evangelical Christians), and none of that smelly, stupid advice ever actually helped me to marry, though I had wanted to be married for many years (I am currently in my 50s and still single). 

As a matter of fact, a lot of Christian dating advice, even the advice by conservative Christians, is counter-productive and actually plays a role in keeping single adults single (this includes, and is not limited to, the “be equally yoked” rule).

Convicted Sex Offender on the Run for 20 Years Found Living New Life as Pastor, or “Musical Minister,” in Alabama

Convicted Sex Offender on the Run for 20 Years Found Living New Life as Pastor, or “Musical Minister,” in Alabama

My parents used to tell me as I was growing up that church is a better place for single adults who’d like to marry to go “spouse-hunting” than other places, especially bars or night clubs.

I can see how maybe that was true in the past, but these days, I’m not so sure.

I don’t know or care if this bogus, sex offending pastor or minister mentioned was a “true” Christian or not; the point is, a lot of his church mates assumed he was a real-deal Christian.

So, could you imagine if you are a single, Christian woman, and he was single, you walk into this guy’s church, and you may just assume this guy is safe to date or marry?

Especially for those of you single, Christian ladies who are way too beholden to the “equally yoked” teaching.

If you’re a single, Christian woman who’d like to be married one day, you really need to get rid of the “equally yoked” teaching in regards to whom you choose to date or marry, as it will increase your dating odds if you get rid of following that rule.

If you insist on limiting yourself to dating only self-professed Christian men, you could end up dating or marrying a self-professing Christian man who by all appearances seems to be a devout Christian but who ends up being a child rapist, like the pastor in this news story below.

You may as well ditch that dippy, stupid rule and judge men by their behavior, not by what religion they claim to follow.

(Link): Fugitive sex offender caught working at Alabama church after 20 years on the run

A convicted sex offender who spent 20 years on the lam was busted in Alabama — where he’d been working at a church for a decade, authorities said.

Larry Albert Flake, 75, was nabbed Friday in Birmingham, where FBI officials said he was living under an assumed name, Larry White, and was known to locals as Rev. White, FBI spokesman Paul Daymond told AL.com.

Officials at the Evergreen True House of Prayer Missionary Baptist Church told the outlet Flake was a minister of music and not a pastor.

Candace Cameron Bure Says It’s ‘Not Too Much’ to Ask That Her Adult Kids Date People Who Love Jesus

Candace Cameron Bure Says It’s ‘Not Too Much’ to Ask That Her Adult Kids Date People Who Love Jesus

I am going to try to be nice about this. This is a topic that can set me off, and I can get mouthy, but my impression of Mrs. Cameron-Bure is that she sincerely means well and actually tries to live out the Christian faith consistently, which I respect.

So I will try to keep the tone of this respectful and not get too… how do the kids say it today, “salty.” I’ll try to keep sarcasm out of this.

I will paste in some excerpts from the page and below those, offer some of my thoughts.

(Link): Candace Cameron Bure says it’s ‘not too much’ to ask that her adult kids date people who love Jesus

Excerpts:

By Jeannie Ortega Law, Christian Post Reporter

Hollywood actress Candace Cameron Bure recently revealed that she has one specific desire concerning the people her children date, and it’s that they love Jesus.

The “Fuller House” star told Us Weekly that she has asked her three adult children, Natasha, 22, Lev, 21, and Maksim, 19, all of whom are actively dating, to bring home someone who’s Christian.

“When it comes down to it, I just want [their significant others] to love Jesus the way I love Jesus,” Bure shared in her video interview.

The Man Using Equations To Find Love

The Man Using Equations To Find Love

(Link): All you need is maths? The man using equations to find love

Mathematician Bobby Seagull has tried to use numbers to solve his romantic difficulties. Is he on to something?

by Ellie Hunt

They say love is a numbers game. Bobby Seagull – the mathematician who rose to fame as a finalist on University Challenge in 2017 – took them literally.

A few years ago, he sat down to try to work out why he had been so unlucky in life. “I was 32 or 33, I was single, I loved maths and science – I thought: ‘Can I use maths and science to help me?’ It was a genuine, earnest attempt.”

Inspired by Peter Backus – a Manchester University economics lecturer who in 2010 wrote a paper titled Why I Don’t Have a Girlfriend – Seagull used the Drake equation, developed to estimate how many intelligent alien civilisations there might be in the galaxy, to determine his number of potential partners. “You start by assuming there’s infinitely many, then you keep on making the pool smaller and smaller.”

….Numbers have long factored into the dating game, even for those who have a ropey grasp on them. We might wonder, of a couple’s particularly serendipitous origin story: “What are the chances?” Or we might console someone who is unhappily single that “it only takes one”.

Majority of Heterosexuals Say They Won’t Date Trans Folk and That’s Discrimination Somehow – by Brett T.

Majority of Heterosexuals Say They Won’t Date Trans Folk and That’s Discrimination Somehow – by Brett T.

(Link): Majority of Heterosexuals Say They Won’t Date Trans Folk and That’s Discrimination Somehow – by Brett T.

Zhana Vrangalova late last month wrote a piece for Them about the results of a study by two Canadian researchers that showed that the vast majority of cisgender people (those who identify as their biological sex) would not consider dating a trans person, and that is just another example of the discrimination trans people suffer.

Of 958 participants in the study, only 12 percent said they would consider dating a trans woman or trans man.