Another Christianity Today Magazine Editorial Expects Single Women To Meet the Needs of Married Women – Christians Never Ask the Reverse

Another Christianity Today Magazine Editorial (2019) Expects Single Women To Meet the Needs of Married Women – Christians Never Ask the Reverse

I am a never-married woman who is over the age of 45, and I am childless. I had wanted to be married but never found the right guy, so I remain single.

I was a very devout Christian for many years, until a few years ago.

I did a blog post about (Link): another editorial on Christianity Today’s site, where a married woman with small children wrote a long piece extolling the virtues of single, childless women:
but only in the context of how she found single, childless women useful to her because they could provide her with free babysitting services that she could not obtain from her biological family, who lived 1,000 miles away.

Here again, in April 2019, is another editorial in the same vein: a piece that extols the wonders and virtues of how single, childless women can or should meet the needs of married women, especially married ones who have children and need free babysitting services and emotional support.

Now, if you’re the sort of single, childless woman who sincerely enjoys babysitting married women’s children, that is fine by me. But I am not one of them.

I’m not opposed to single, childless women caring for, or taking an interest in, other people’s children, if they so desire.

I am opposed to this when this is one of the only options presented to Christian women, however.

Abused Baby Boy Is Fitted With Artificial Anus ‘After His Parents Inflicted Horrific Injuries on the Six-Week-Old Child For Sexual Gratification’, German Prosecutors Claim

Abused Baby Boy Is Fitted With Artificial Anus ‘After His Parents Inflicted Horrific Injuries on the Six-Week-Old Child For Sexual Gratification’, German Prosecutors Claim

As you can see, there is nothing about Parenthood that makes a person more godly, loving or ethical, as so many conservative Christians I’ve seen have claimed in their blog posts, sermons, books and so on:

(Link): Abused Baby Boy Is Fitted With Artificial Anus ‘After His Parents Inflicted Horrific Injuries on the Six-Week-Old Child For Sexual Gratification’, German Prosecutors Claim

March 2019

A couple in Germany have been charged with child sex abuse after their baby son suffered injuries so severe surgeons had to fit him with an artificial anus.

The parents, named as Ismail S., 23, and Nina R., 26, allegedly abused the tot at their home in the city of Ludwigshafen in the western German state of Rhineland-Palatinate.

Nina R., a saleswoman, is accused of causing the severe injuries to the child when he was just six weeks old.

Chief prosecutor Hubert Stroeber said: ‘She wanted to get sexual satisfaction.’

University Officials Warning Students About Woman Who’s Been Roaming Campus Grounds in Search of a Date For Her Son by N. Niemietz

University Officials Warning Students About Woman Who’s Been Roaming Campus Grounds in Search of a Date For Her Son by N. Niemietz

(Link): Towson University police looking to identify woman seen on campus, searching for date for her son  – Fox News

(Link): Towson University police warn of a woman on the loose, looking for a date for her son– Baltimore Sun

Towson University police have asked students and staff to be on the lookout for a woman in her 50s wearing a multicolored scarf. She’s looking for a date for her son.

Baby Died of Malnutrition, Dehydration, and an E. Coli Infection Caused by Being Left In a Maggot-Infested Diaper for Two Weeks

Baby Died of Malnutrition, Dehydration, and an E. Coli Infection Caused by Being Left In a Maggot-Infested Diaper for Two Weeks

(Link): Baby Died of Malnutrition, Dehydration, and an E. Coli Infection Caused by Being Left In a Maggot-Infested Diaper for Two Weeks

Cheyanne Harris, 21, left the courthouse in Iowa, US, crying after harrowing pictures of four-month-old Sterling Koehn were shown to a jury

A young [mom] accused of leaving her baby son to die in a maggot-infested nappy [diaper] sobbed in court yesterday.

Jurors were shown photos of tragic four-month-old Sterling Koehn at his [mom] Cheyanne Harris’ trial.

‘I Almost Drove My Car Off A Bridge Because Of The Strain of Having a Family’

‘I Almost Drove My Car Off A Bridge Because Of The Strain of Having a Family’

I’m not exactly anti-marriage or anti-family, but.

However. I am tired of how other conservatives or how 99% of Christians “hype” marriage, children, and “the family” to the point they act as though everyone should get married and have a kid, and if you do not, they suggest or state point blank, that you have failed culture and society, and you’re a big Loser. Christians especially behave as though getting married and having a kid is a commandment from God (it is not).

Being married and being a mother did not bring happiness to this lady.

And notice how this lady says that she and her husband didn’t have sex for a year.

I bring that up, because one teaching I heard or saw a lot in Christian sermons or books when I was a kid growing up is that if one remains a virgin until marriage, that God will reward you and your spouse with regular, “mind blowing” sex. The reality is, a person can remain chaste but then end up having lousy sex in marriage, or none at all.

(Link): BABY BLUES – We rowed [argued] and hadn’t had sex for a year due to the strain of starting a family… I almost drove my car off a bridge

January 2019

Aimee and Davin Bradley, both 35, were at each other’s throats for the first three years of their daughter’s life

By Hayley Richardson

HAVING a baby can feel like the icing on the cake for some couples but for others the strain of starting a family can push them to breaking point.

Aimee and Davin Bradley, both 35, were at each other’s throats for the first three years of their daughter Autumn’s life and didn’t have sex for a year.

Bride Kicks Couple out of her Kid-Free Wedding for Bringing Their Children but People are Defending Her

Bride Kicks Couple out of her Kid-Free Wedding for Bringing Their Children but People are Defending Her

(Links): Bride Kicks Couple out of her Kid-Free Wedding for Bringing Their Children but People are Defending Her

Dec 2018

A bride on Reddit detailed how she asked a couple at her wedding to leave after they brought their infant and toddler

She had explicitly stated on the wedding invitation that the event was kid-free

Other kids at the ceremony, like the flower girl, were picked up before the reception

British Couple Who Named Their Infant After Hitler Was Arrested For Terror Group Membership

British Couple Who Named Their Infant After Hitler Was Arrested For Terror Group Membership

To all the secular and Christian conservatives out there promoting this false idea (and yes, some of them do in fact do this), that being married and being a parent is necessary to make people more godly, mature, and responsible, I present to you yet another example demonstrating that being a parent does not do didley squat didley to improve a person’s character.

(Link): British Couple Who Named Their Infant After Hitler Was Arrested For Terror Group Membership

by Josh Halliday, Dec 2018

A neo-Nazi couple who named their baby son after Adolf Hitler and made their home a “shrine to extreme racism” have been jailed for membership of a terrorist group.

Adam Thomas was pictured cradling his son while wearing the hooded robes of the Ku Klux Klan. His partner, Claudia Patatas, believed “all Jews must be put to death”, a trial at Birmingham crown court heard.

Couple Put Kids In Car Trunk for 900 Mile Drive So Dogs Could Sit on Back Seat

Couple Put Kids In Car Trunk for 900 Mile Drive So Dogs Could Sit on Back Seat

And 99% of conservative Christians go on and on about how being a parent is necessary to make a person a true adult, and to make someone more loving, giving, and godly. What a bunch of crap.

Here’s another example of how parenthood did not make people more loving, giving or godly:

(Link): Couple Put Kids In Car Trunk for 900 Mile Drive So Dogs Could Sit on Back Seat

by Jimmy McCloskey
Friday 7 Dec 2018 3:42 pm

A couple admitted putting two young children in a car trunk for a 900 mile drive so their German shepherds could ride on the back seat.

One Third of British Men Say They Sometimes Hide In Their Bathrooms To Escape Family, Survey Claims

One Third of British Men Say They Sometimes Hide In Their Bathrooms To Escape Family, Survey Claims

Why do conservative Christians blather on and on about the supposed need for parenthood – because supposedly, parenthood makes people less selish, and turns them into all-Giving, loving, responsible, mature Savior Figures, when some of these parents admit to hiding from their own families in the bathroom?

And why are men hiding? Women still do the majority of the house-work and child-care as most husbands sit around on their asses drinking beer and watching TV.

I don’t see how the Nuclear Family is making culture any better, especially when the male figure of the family is hiding from said family in the bathroom.

(Link):One third of British men say they sometimes hide in their bathrooms to escape family, survey claims

By R. Knight
Sept 2018

A third of British men say they sometimes hide in their bathrooms “to get some peace and quiet”, according to a new poll.

The survey of 1,000 men found that on average they spend a total of seven hours a year in the bathroom for this reason.
Respondents said the main reasons they hid in the toilet was to avoid chores and look at their phones undisturbed.

Restaurant Banning “Loud” Kids Has Parents Outraged

Restaurant Banning “Loud” Kids Has Parents Outraged

Why are so many parents outraged over stuff like this? Nobody wants to hear your screaming baby or brat when they’re out at a movie or a restaurant.

When I was a kid, my parents did this thing called PARENTING, where if myself or my siblings began crying or throwing a temper tantrum, they’d carry us out of the establishment. My parents did not subject other adults to my or my siblings’ annoying kid behavior – why should today’s kids be any different?

Sorry, Christians, but parenthood does NOT make people more compassionate, giving, moral, or loving – as a matter of fact, parenthood seems to make some people even MORE selfish and demanding.

(Link): Restaurant Banning “Loud” Kids Has Parents Outraged

Excerpt:

May 14, 2018

By Alexandra Deabler, Fox News

A restaurant in California is making waves for its firm stance on children: Those crying or making loud noises are not allowed in the dining room.

The Entitled, Insensitive Comments Left by Entitled Christian Mothers, and the Men Who Support Them, Under the Post ‘Don’t Ask Moms To Stand In Church This Sunday (Mother’s Day)’

The Entitled, Insensitive Comments Left by Entitled Christian Mothers, and the Men Who Support Them, Under the Post ‘Don’t Ask Moms To Stand In Church This Sunday (Mother’s Day)’

As of 2018, the snotty entitlement and insensitivity of some mothers – and Christian men who support them – continues.

I’ve been blogging about this topic for a few years now on this blog. It makes me sad to see this still going on.

DefendTheSheep (person on Twitter) tweeted out a link to this reasonable essay imploring Christians to be more sensitive towards those who find the Mother’s Day holiday painful. Link to that:

(Link): Don’t Ask Moms To Stand in Church This Sunday

My problem is not with the essay itself.

As a matter of fact, I encourage you to click the link above to visit the page and read it.

My problem was with some of the hideous comments various people left below the page.

Some of the comments were just incredibly insensitive or very mistaken about why some people find Mother’s Day – especially when it’s celebrated during church services – to be hurtful or stressful.

Christians often like to teach that parenthood and marriage are necessary to make people more giving and loving and compassionate, but that is not so. The married parents leaving comments under blog posts such as the one I am discussing here are very selfish and entitled – being parents has done nothing to make them more loving, caring, or empathetic.

Father, Son of Texas Baptist Church Both Arrested for Raping Teens, Sexual Assault of Children – So Much for Marriage Making People More Mature and Godly

Father, Son of Texas Baptist Church Both Arrested for Raping Teens, Sexual Assault of Children – So Much for Marriage Making People More Mature and Godly

But I thought that the nuclear family was supposed to erase all sin, including rape and child abuse, and that Male Headship under Complementarianism and Parenthood and Marriage made people more godly, loving, and ethical, as some Christians teach?

Here we have an another example where none of that is true (my Twitter friend ymmarta passed this along to me):

(Link): Father, Son of Texas Baptist Church Both Arrested for Raping Teens, Sexual Assault of Children

And why should any single Christian woman who desires marriage bother sticking to the “Equally Yoked” rule when so many Christian men – even ones who work in and for churches!! – are perverts? It makes no sense.

And why do so many Christians keep telling singles who desire marriage that they won’t get a spouse until they become more spiritual, more mature, more holy, or more “whatever?” If God permitted these teen-raping perverts to have a spouse, why not a law-abiding single adult?

Christian Couple Kept Their 13 Children ‘Starving’ and Shackled in Chains Inside House of Horror, Police Say

Christian Couple Kept Their 13 Children ‘Starving’ and Shackled in Chains Inside House of Horror, Police Say

You can see once more how The Nuclear Family, Parenthood, and Marriage does not save society or make things safer for children.

I’m conservative, but a lot of other conservatives (both Christian and secular) will try to argue that society has fallen apart because of feminism or due to liberals and they further suggest that society  would not be such a cess pool only if every one would marry by the age of 25 and have ten kids apiece and become a Christian.

This couple being married, having kids, and reading the Bible, being into traditional gender roles and being Christian did not make them better people, nor did it make our culture a better place.

I’m sure there are probably some atheist parents out there who treat their kids better than this Christian couple treated their kids.

I fail to see how liberalism or secular feminism is to blame for this Christian couple shackling their kids to beds for years and refusing to feed them.

(Link):  Christian Couple Kept Their 13 Children ‘Starving’ and Shackled in Chains Inside House of Horror, Police Say

Jan 16, 2018

The home of a California couple known in their community as a good Christian family was revealed to be a house of horror Sunday morning when local police rescued their 13 children, some of whom were found “shackled to their beds with chains and padlocks in dark and foul-smelling surroundings.”

How To Say No At Work When You Don’t Have Kids by M. Savage

How To Say No At Work When You Don’t Have Kids by M. Savage

First saw this on B. DePaulo’s Twitter:

(Link): How To Say No At Work When You Don’t Have Kids by M. Savage

Aug 2017

Despite a boom in flexible working, many singles say they’re still picking up the slack from colleagues with families. Career coaches are advising them to say no.

…“The assumption [by employers] is that you can drop everything or that you don’t have a care in the world [if you are single and do not have children],” says Chaka. “Actually, as a single, life is more expensive, you have to run all errands yourself and you don’t have someone to fall back on financially if things go wrong.”

…Corporate workhorses

During research for his book Going Solo, Eric Klinenberg, a professor of sociology at New York University interviewed hundreds of single people in Europe and America and discovered “there was widespread perception that singles became the workhorses in corporate offices”.

The Dangerous Risks of Putting Motherhood on a Pedestal by C. Millard

The Dangerous Risks of Putting Motherhood on a Pedestal by C. Millard

The Dangerous Risks of Putting Motherhood on a Pedestal by C. Millard

Excerpts:

…Note the double-edged sword of motherhood here. Attracting the praise of being a “good mother” was always accompanied by the threat that you might fall from the perch at any moment and cause devastating harm to your child.

Hence the amplification of mechanisms of control, censure, and punishment that go hand in hand with the valorization and surveillance of parenting. Deep within the medical and psychological frameworks promoting motherhood in this period, there lurks male anxiety over female power and influence.

“I Regret Having Children” – Various Mothers Interviewed (via NY Post)

“I Regret Having Children” – Various Mothers Interviewed (via NY Post)

(Link): “I Regret Having Children” – Various Mothers Interviewed (via NY Post) by G. Wilson

….Here, a handful of women who have shared how they wish they could turn back time and do it all differently.

…Single-mother hardship

“I regret having my daughter.

“She is now 12 and it is easier as they get older, but sometimes I look at her and wish she had never been born. I was/am a single mother and right from the start the moment the midwife gave her to me I didn’t feel this instant love that people talk of, all I felt was the huge weight of regret.

“Being a single mother with a baby that hardly slept and screamed all the time was awful, I was constantly exhausted, but I never told anyone about how I really felt for fear of being judged, I couldn’t give her to my parents for a night or two because of their drinking.

Mom Allegedly Beats Son Who Gave Mother’s Day Card to Grandmother, Not Her

Mom Allegedly Beats Son Who Gave Mother’s Day Card to Grandmother, Not Her

Why, why, why, are so many of my fellow conservatives so doggedly determined to defend a secular holiday which unnecessarily alienates or hurts so many people (such as infertile couples, etc), and things like this happen (and, I find this story to be heart-breaking – the kid was just trying to give his grandmother a card, for pete’s sake):

(Link): Mom allegedly beats son who gave Mother’s Day card to grandmother, not her – May 14, 2017

A South Carolina mother has been accused of beating her young son after the boy made a Mother’s Day card for his grandmother, but not one for her.

Spartanburg Police said Shontrell Murphy, 30, repeatedly hit her 6-year-old son after ripping up the card, Fox Carolina reported.

Children Taken From Maryland Couple After YouTube ‘Prank’ Videos – Parenthood Does Not Make People More Mature, Godly, Loving, or Responsible

Children Taken From Maryland Couple After YouTube ‘Prank’ Videos – Parenthood Does Not Make People More Mature, Godly, Loving, or Responsible

Many secular conservatives and Christians go on and on about how nuclear families are necessary for society, they shame or criticize women who do not have children, and they feel that being a parent is necessary to make a person more responsible, mature, or godly. I should know, because I am a right winger. I’ve been a conservative for years, but I think other conservatives really get this stuff wrong.

Every week, I see news stories of parents who neglect or verbally or physically abuse their children – being parents did not make such parents mature, godly, loving, or responsible.

I was verbally abused by my father  and sister growing up, and it’s a very painful thing to endure – my father has mellowed out a tad since growing older (he can still be a little verbally abusive, but not as often as when I was younger), but my sister has gotten worse.

When I was younger, my dad would sometimes pull “pranks” on me similar to what the dad in these You Tube videos was doing to his kids, in addition to run-of-the-mill put-downs where my father would tell me he didn’t value my thoughts, opinions, and basically convey to me he thought I was a loser and a failure.

When you have these sorts of “pranks” pulled on you when you are a kid, they HURT. They make you feel rejected and unloved by the parent doing it. There is nothing funny about it.

The kid is hurt now, but I can guarantee when he gets much older and reflects on this, the anger will come out – most of the hurt will die down, and he will instead be infuriated and resent that his dad did this to him.

What this dad did is cruel. It’s not funny. What they (the father and the stepmother in this story) did is in fact emotional abuse – I’m guessing the mouth-breathing morons behind this You Tube channel (the Martin parents) only regard physical strikes as “abuse.” WRONG. Abuse can be emotional / verbal.

So. I feel sorry for the kids in the story below – I know what it’s like to be verbally and emotionally abused, to have pranks done to me and cruel words said to me under the guise it’s just “joking around” and so on.

Christians and secular right wingers need to let go of this idea that marriage and parenting are necessary to make people productive, mature, good people – that’s clearly NOT THE CASE.

The New York Times ran (Link): this Tweet today:

“The couple verbally berated their 5 children, often to the point of tears, then racked up millions of YouTube views”

…Children Taken From Maryland Couple After YouTube ‘Prank’ Videos … The parents first defended the videos, posted on the DaddyOFive (You Tube channel) …

Here are some more links about it:

(Link):  YouTube prank parents lose custody of their kids

(Link):  DaddyOFive parents lose custody ‘over YouTube pranks

(Link):  These YouTube parents pulled disturbing ‘pranks’ on their kids. Now, they’ve lost custody.

The videos on DaddyOFive’s YouTube channel were hard to watch. In one, parents Heather and Mike Martin scream at 9-year-old Cody, accusing him of spilling ink on the ground. (He didn’t spill anything, and the stains on the carpet were from trick ink).

Another shows Cody being shoved into a bookcase. In a third, the dad encourages one of his sons to slap 11-year-old Emma, the only girl among the five children in the family.

He does, hard enough to make Emma cry.

When the broader YouTube community found out about the channel, there was an angry uprising. And now, the once-estranged birth mother of Cody and Emma has emergency custody of her two kids.

(Link):   YouTubers who made kids cry with extreme prank lose custody

(Link):  Cruel YouTube father and stepmom who filmed themselves telling their nine-year-old son he was going to be adopted and smashing his X-box lose custody of their two children

• Maryland parents Mike and Heather Martin have a YouTube channel in which their two youngest children are often the victim of cruel pranks
• The parents of five had been under fire for an April video pranking their son, Cody, nine
• Stepmom Heather squirted disappearing ink all over son Cody’s bedroom carpet
• Parents bawl him out, then reveal the joke and make him plug their channel
• They released an apology video in April, but still said the kids were in on the ‘pranks’ 
• The parents lost custody of Mike’s two children, Cody, nine, and Emma, 12
• Cody and Emma’s biological mom, Rose Hall, says the children are being ‘deprogrammed’ from the abuse

My Parents Excluded Me When I Was Single — Now They’re Doing It to My Sister (Ask Amy Column)

My Parents Excluded Me When I Was Single — Now They’re Doing It to My Sister (Ask Amy Column)

(Link): My parents excluded me when I was single — now they’re doing it to my sister (Ask Amy column)

DEAR AMY: I am a 35-year-old woman. I live in the same town as my parents.

My sister lives nearby. She married young, while I traveled and enjoyed the single life.

My parents spent a lot of time with my sister and her husband. They shared dinners, vacations and holidays. I have generally not been invited or included, as these were “couple things,” though I fail to see how Christmas is a “couples-only” event.

Mother Brutally Assaulted Daughter for Reciting Bible Verses Incorrectly: Police

Mother Brutally Assaulted Daughter for Reciting Bible Verses Incorrectly: Police

So much for the conservative Christian claim that parenthood is necessary to make a person more ethical, responsible, and godly.

Motherhood sure as heck did not make the woman in this story loving or godly.

(Link): Mother brutally assaulted daughter for reciting Bible verses incorrectly: Police

A Middletown woman was arrested after police said she severely assaulted her daughter and kicked her out of her house because the girl incorrectly recited Bible verses to her last week.

Police filed child endangerment charges against Rhonda Kemp Shoffner, 41, of the first block of Genesis Court, following the incident March 14.

The victim, who is under the age of 13, told police the assault occurred just after she awoke from a nap in her mother’s home about 3 p.m.

 … Each time the girl incorrectly recited a verse or gave her mother a wrong answer, Shoffner slammed her head into the wall, police said. Shoffner slammed her daughter’s head into the bathroom drywall at least five times, according to police.