Not Wanting Kids Is Entirely Normal – Why the ingrained expectation that women should desire to become parents is unhealthy by J. Valenti

Not Wanting Kids Is Entirely Normal – Why the ingrained expectation that women should desire to become parents is unhealthy by J. Valenti

(Link): Not Wanting Kids Is Entirely Normal – Why the ingrained expectation that women should desire to become parents is unhealthy by J. Valenti

Excerpts:

In 2008, Nebraska decriminalized child abandonment. The move was part of a “safe haven” law designed to address increased rates of infanticide in the state. Like other safe-haven laws, parents in Nebraska who felt unprepared to care for their babies could drop them off in a designated location without fear of arrest and prosecution.

But legislators made a major logistical error: They failed to implement an age limitation for dropped-off children.

Within just weeks of the law passing, parents started dropping off their kids. But here’s the rub: None of them were infants. A couple of months in, 36 children had been left in state hospitals and police stations.

Twenty-two of the children were over 13 years old. A 51-year-old grandmother dropped off a 12-year-old boy.

One father dropped off his entire family — nine children from ages one to 17. Others drove from neighboring states to drop off their children once they heard that they could abandon them without repercussion.

The Nebraska state government, realizing the tremendous mistake it had made, held a special session of the legislature to rewrite the law in order to add an age limitation.

….What happened in Nebraska raises the question: If there were no consequences, how many of us would give up our kids?

…..Whether it’s because of hardship or not, many Americans are giving up on parenthood.

Continue reading “Not Wanting Kids Is Entirely Normal – Why the ingrained expectation that women should desire to become parents is unhealthy by J. Valenti”

FYI: Childless Women Aren’t Villains by M. Crum

FYI: Childless Women Aren’t Villains by M Crum

(Link):  FYI: Childless Women Aren’t Villains

Excerpts

Belle Boggs, author of ‘The Art of Waiting,’ talks fertility treatments, and the problem with how childless women are portrayed in literature.

…The Art of Waiting explores negative portrayals of childless women and families in popular culture (as sinister, resentful). It manages also to delve deeply into the scientific and political processes of IVF, a treatment that’s much more accessible to some communities than it is to others. Boggs gracefully touches on her own brush with infertility, and by sharing stories of those in her support group, she shows that the experience of yearning for children is multifaceted, not so easily whittled down to a harsh stereotype.

What was one of the biggest myths you encountered while writing this book, and while undergoing IVF yourself?

I think there are so many myths and preconceptions and stereotypes that inform all of our thinking, whether we are experiencing infertility or planning to get pregnant, or planning a family in some other way, that it’s hard to just choose one.

I suppose the biggest myth would be the stereotype of the infertility patient. I was familiar with that stereotype from the media, from literature, from being a person in the world. Infertility is so often described as a woman’s problem, and typically an older, privileged woman’s problem. Women who put off having children until it was too late. And that’s really not the case. It’s just as likely to be a male problem as it a female problem. It’s also more likely to affect women with lower levels of education, it’s more likely to affect poorer women and men. That was something I thought about a lot as I researched this book.

Continue reading “FYI: Childless Women Aren’t Villains by M. Crum”

Christian Married Father (Promoted by His Christian Employer as being a Family Values Guy) Sexually Assaulted Boys at Christian Camp, Some During Bible Study, Say News Reports – And He Led Sexual Purity Classes for Kids

Christian Married Father (Promoted by His Christian Employer as being a Family Values Guy) Sexually Assaulted Boys at Christian Camp, Some During Bible Study, Say News Reports – And He Led Sexual Purity Classes for Kids

Several Christian blogs have been covering this story lately.

A married Christian father named Peter Newman is reported to have sexually assaulted under-aged boys that he met at a Christian camp called Kamp Kanakuk in Missouri.

A guy named Joe White is the CEO of Kanakuk Ministries, which includes Kamp Kanakuk.

Newman, the reports say, invited some of these boys over to camp property in off-season, after hours, or to his home – sometimes under the pretense of having them over for Bible study.

According to online news, Newman told some of the boys if they allowed him to masturbate them (or vice versa), it would eliminate sexual temptation for them. These reports say Newman also went on to sodomize these boys or perform oral sex on them (or them on him).

If I am understanding the blog coverage and secular news reports correctly, even though the Christians who ran the camp knew (yes, they knew) that this Newman guy was allegedly fondling children, they did nothing about it.

Further (again, if I am understanding the coverage correctly) Newman was later hired to work at Fellowship Memphis Church, a church which (Link): also protected another known sexual deviant who preyed on girls and women within their church during church hours, despite the fact the folks there were aware of his deviant history.

Of course I find child sexual abuse to be horrible, evil, and deviant.

However, the focus of my blog is not child abuse per se.

I tend to focus on the topic of adult singleness and issues that may be of interest to singles – such as how Christians love to discriminate against, or otherwise ignore, singles, and how they promote this bogus notion that married parents are morally superior to single, childless adults. So, when I link to stories about child abuse, it tends to be in a way that relates to singleness.

When I was reading up on this story – mostly skimming articles, I’ve been a little busy lately to devote much time to writing posts for this blog – I noted how some of the promotional work for this Newman guy by Christians at the camp kept emphasizing what  a godly, stand-up guy he supposedly is.

These Christian groups were saying he’s a real great example of “Family Values.”

At one point, the Christians (either the Christian camp or the church, I don’t recall which) had Newman work as a (get this!) speaker about sexual purity for teens at some Christian conference.

Continue reading “Christian Married Father (Promoted by His Christian Employer as being a Family Values Guy) Sexually Assaulted Boys at Christian Camp, Some During Bible Study, Say News Reports – And He Led Sexual Purity Classes for Kids”

Man Alone At Zoo Accused of Being Pedophile For Taking Photos Around Public Fountain

Man Alone At Zoo Accused of Being Pedophile For Taking Photos Around Public Fountain

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  • I would not be surprised if (Link): my Blog Stalker, John Morgan, still visits my blog (and sometimes my Twitter account) and steals links and story ideas to blog on at his blog. He’ll probably swipe the following story I found and feature it on his own blog. Stop taking content from my blog, Morgan.
  • JOHN MORGAN: Don’t sit there and accuse me of being “untrustworthy” merely because I blog under a pen name and then turn around and use stories I put on my blog on yours.
  • If you believe I am “untrustworthy,” stop using my material. You cannot have it both ways. Get off my blog – and don’t visit my Twitter, either.

—————————————–

I am unclear if the man in this story is married or not. He might be married.

Regardless, he is a photographer who went to a zoo alone.

He wanted to take photos of the architecture around the zoo.

Some women saw him taking photos, and automatically assumed that an adult alone snapping photos must be a pedophile.

The women got the zoo security involved – and I think local police eventually got involved, too. The guy showed the content of his camera to the security or the cops, which showed no photos of kids on it.

The guy was kicked out of the zoo for the remainder of the day.

I did a blog post about this a long time ago, but various studies have shown that the majority of pedophiles are MARRIED MEN – not single ones. Therefore, the women in this news story need to be more paranoid of married men.

(Link):   Man accused of taking photos of young girls banned from Zoo Miami

  • by Amanda Batchelor – Senior Digital Editor
  • Posted: 3:28 PM, May 11, 2016Updated: 10:12 AM, May 12, 2016
  • Woman says man was taking photos of girls in bathing suits
  • MIAMI – A man was asked not to return to Zoo Miami after he was caught by a parent taking photos of young girls, Zoo Miami spokesman Ron Magill said.

Continue reading “Man Alone At Zoo Accused of Being Pedophile For Taking Photos Around Public Fountain”

Father Who Had Daughter Marry Her Rapist Sentenced to Jail

Father Who Had Daughter Marry Her Rapist Sentenced to Jail

Christians sure do go on and on about how the Nuclear Family is so important to culture – I’m here to say that being in a Nuclear Family did not protect this teen girl from statutory rape, or from her sicko father trying to marry her off to her rapist.

I’m sure there are plenty of single-parent families out there who don’t end up trying to marry their son or daughter off to that child’s rapist. So, Christians really need to drop the rhetoric about how Nuclear Families are the Cure for everything that ails society (not to mention the Bible does not teach this).

Christians: Stop spreading the falsehood that parenthood is necessary to make a person mature, ethical or godly – not only does the Bible not teach this, but real life examples show you it’s just not true. Such as.

(Link): Father Who Had Daughter Marry Her Rapist Sentenced to Jail

  • May 31, 2016
  • An Idaho man will spend about four months in jail for taking his pregnant 14-year-old daughter to Missouri and having her marry a 24-year-old family friend who had raped her.
  • The father pleaded guilty to injury to a child last week, and a judge put him behind bars for 120 days and ordered three years of supervised probation, the Idaho State Journal reported.

Continue reading “Father Who Had Daughter Marry Her Rapist Sentenced to Jail”

Woman Burned To Death For Refusing Marriage Proposal

Woman Burned To Death For Refusing Marriage Proposal

And there are some whiny, cry-baby men who think THEY have single life harder – news flash, (Link): you don’t have it worse, men: men usually are not murdered by jealous women over turning down dates or proposals.

While I’d say that the root of this case involves a lot of misogyny and patriarchy, I think perhaps a small factor is an over-emphasis upon marriage.

Perhaps if cultures like this one were taught that being single and/or celibate are perfectly fine lifestyles to live, we wouldn’t see people feel so pressured to marry, and they would realize they can control their sexual urges. Therefore, women would not be killed for turning down dates, requests for sex, or marriage proposals.

You don’t have to be married, or have sex, to enjoy life or be happy and content. (I am not knocking a desire to be married, you realize, only saying if it does not happen for you, you will survive – and realize you can enjoy life without marriage or sex.)

Dollars to doughnuts that everyone in this news story was Muslim.

If so, I’d like to say again I see striking parallels between Islamic attitudes and behaviors towards women as I do from some gender complementarian or Quiverfull Christian groups, as well as sexist men and MRA (Men’s Rights Activists) groups – they all treat women like second-class citizens to be controlled by men and are considered to have value only in- so- far as they breed like rabbits and/or provide men with sex.

(Link): Pakistani woman dies after being set on fire for rejecting marriage proposal

  • By Azadeh Ansari and Sophia Saifi, CNN
  • Updated 11:47 AM ET, Thu June 2, 2016
  • Islamabad, Pakistan (CNN)- An 18-year-old Pakistani schoolteacher died Wednesday from injuries after her body was set on fire for refusing a marriage proposal, police said.
  • The perpetrators beat Maria Abbasi, then drenched her in petrol and set her body ablaze before leaving her for dead, her family members told CNN.
  • Continue reading “Woman Burned To Death For Refusing Marriage Proposal”

    Mommy Blogger Confesses in Blog Post that Mommy Blogging is a Bunch of Fake, Happy-Clappy B.S. – Kind of Like Most Christian Adult Singleness Blogs

    Mommy Blogger Confesses in Blog Post that Mommy Blogging is a Bunch of Fake, Happy-Clappy B.S. – Kind of Like Most Christian Adult Singleness Blogs

    I first got wind of this story via SCCL Facebook group ((Link): Conversation about this topic at SCCL FB Group).

    A link to a news article about the Mommy Blogger is much farther below. I wanted to say a few things before getting to the article.

    The (ex?) mommy blogger in question, Josi Denise, says in one of her blog posts that a lot of mommy blogging is fake and too happy-clappy.

    Denise’s critique of Mommy Blogging is reminiscent of my views on blogs or magazine articles by Christians pertaining to adult singleness, which you can read here:

    I find that a lot of Christian-written material for adult singles is too sickeningly sweet.

    There is an absence in most Christian-penned material for singles that honestly, really gets into and grapples with, how hard, painful, or disappointing it can be to be single into your 30s and older, when you had really expected or had hoped to marry.

    Continue reading “Mommy Blogger Confesses in Blog Post that Mommy Blogging is a Bunch of Fake, Happy-Clappy B.S. – Kind of Like Most Christian Adult Singleness Blogs”

    Church Knew of Preacher’s Affairs, Advised Him To Keep It Quiet

    Church Knew of Preacher’s Affairs, Advised Him To Keep It Quiet

    This is a follow up to my previous post (there are further updates at the bottom of this post):

    The pastor I reference in my headline of this blog post is Tullian Tchividjian.

    I know I probably should not be surprised at this point, but I still find myself surprised or dumbfounded at how so many Christians or churches today do not take sexual sins seriously.

    I already know that most churches prefer to hear sexual purity sermons (Link): from fornicators than they do from actual, honest- to- God adult virgins.

    But I thought, maybe, just maybe, some churches out there at least have the sense to sermonize against adultery and other sorts of sexual sins, or hold sexual sinners  ~ especially pastors who commit adultery or some other sort of sexual sin – accountable.

    But no. They don’t.

    This article says that this church knew about their preacher’s adultery (even the previous one), and asked him to keep it hush-hush.

    Unbelievable.

    What is that verse from the Bible, again?: “God is shamed and judged negatively among the Gentiles because of your behavior.” -or something like that.

    Okay, take that verse and reword it slightly to, “God is shamed and judged harshly among the Non-Christians because of your behavior,” and I think that would apply.

    Do these churches and people claiming the name of Jesus Christ not care at all about what Jesus taught?

    Do churches today and Christians not care about Christian ethics and morality, about doing the right thing, even if doing so may be unpopular?

    How can anyone who claims to be a Jesus-follower be so causal about following His teachings?

    Note that this other woman he had an affair with is MARRIED.

    That’s right, Christians like to depict SINGLE women as the threats to married men, when here we have married people cheating on their spouses with OTHER MARRIED PEOPLE.

    (Link): Coral Ridge Elders Knew of Tullian Tchividjian’s Affair With Married Woman, Advised Him to Keep Secret, Source Alleges 

    • BY LEONARDO BLAIR , CHRISTIAN POST REPORTER
    • March 18, 2016|4:07 pm
    • At least two elders at Coral Ridge Presbyterian Church in Florida allegedly had knowledge that their former pastor, Tullian Tchividjian, grandson to evangelical icon Billy Graham, had engaged in an adulterous affair with a married member of his flock and advised him to keep it secret from his wife.

      Reacting to a (Link): report in The Christian Post Thursday that Tchividjian was fired by Willow Creek Church in Winter Springs, Florida, after they were blindsided by his latest confession, a highly placed source informed CP Friday that the recent disclosure is really the result of a “systemic cover up” by church leaders that began two years ago.

      “Tullian had actually been confronted about that two years ago. At the time, he was confronted by two elders at Coral Ridge and Steve Brown (Key Life Ministries), and confessed to having a relationship with a married woman,” said the source.

      “At the time, he was not advised to step down as lead pastor, but instead was advised not to immediately inform his wife about the matter — she only learned about this last week. To make matters worse, the two elders never informed the rest of the session about this situation. One can only wonder whether the second situation could have been averted if the first situation had not been covered up,” the source continued.

      “This is not a situation that Tullian had kept quiet and suddenly disclosed to someone for the first time last week. It’s been known by at least three others in addition to Tullian and the woman involved for over two years,” the source added.

      Continue reading “Church Knew of Preacher’s Affairs, Advised Him To Keep It Quiet”

    Father cat-fished his own daughter, 14, and tricked her into sending him naked photos that he later used for leverage when he started molesting her

    Father cat-fished his own daughter, 14, and tricked her into sending him naked photos that he later used for leverage when he started molesting her

    This headline came through my Twitter feed not long after the story of a married father who was arrested for sexual crimes against kids.

    As I just said in my last post, Christians insist that becoming a parent or getting married are necessarily ingredients to become a full-fledged adult. They think never married adults or the childless are immature or selfish. Wrong. There are plenty of news stories which demonstrate that being married or a parent does not magically transform a person into a paragon of virtue.

    (Link): Father cat-fished his own daughter, 14, and tricked her into sending him naked photos that he later used for leverage when he started molesting her

    • By SNEJANA FARBEROV FOR DAILYMAIL.COM
    • The 41-year-old man from upstate New York has pleaded guilty to 12 federal child pornography counts
    • Man admitted to posing as a 16-year-old boy online and forcing his daughter to send him X-rated photos of herself
    • He later lied to his teen daughter that her online boyfriend had committed suicide and began sexually abusing her
    • Twisted scheme came to light after the girl told a nurse at her school she was being molested by her father
    • The defendant faces up to 250 years in prison when he is sentenced in July
    • —————–
    • A father from upstate New York has admitted to posing as his 14-year-old daughter’s online boyfriend and forcing her to send him nude photos of herself, which he then used as leverage when he started sexually abusing her.

    • The twisted catfishing scheme and incestuous relationship came to light when the victim told a nurse at her school that she was being molested by her own father.

    Continue reading “Father cat-fished his own daughter, 14, and tricked her into sending him naked photos that he later used for leverage when he started molesting her”

    Married Church Volunteer Had ‘Secret Sex Den Attic Where He Molested Neighbor’s Two Sons’

    Married Church Volunteer Had ‘Secret Sex Den Attic Where He Molested Neighbor’s Two Sons’

    Conservative Christians – a lot of them – think that getting married and having children are necessary to become mature, godly, self-less, and responsible.

    Here is another example on my blog (view more (Link): here and (Link): here) that show that being married or a parent is not necessarily a guarantee that a person will be more mature, loving, godly or responsible.

    Goodness knows that the Bible never teaches that marriage or parenthood are rites of passage to earn true adulthood.

    It would also appear that the pedophile in this story claimed to be a Christian, or thought of himself as a Christian – he was volunteering at a church.

    Church is not necessarily a safe place to meet decent single men, if you are a single Christian woman who wants to marry. You might be better off taking chances dating Non-Christian men you meet through friends or on dating sites.

    Here is an excerpt about this story from the Daily Mail site’s coverage:

    • The court heard allegations that Castillo had tied up one of the brothers during sexual acts, which included oral sex – the night before he was due to marry his now-wife Katheryn.

    Not only was this pervert raping little boys, but he was assaulting them on the night before he was to marry.

    After reading stories like this one, I sometimes do think maybe I haven’t missed out by not marrying.

    I’m one of those people who had wanted to marry, but I see stories like this one and think, if there are one or two things worse than being single when you’d like to marry, it would be being married to a sexual pervert who preys on kids or (Link): animals, or to an abusive man.

    Some Christians teach that in order to get a spouse from God, you must earn one by cleaning up your life, or by being more godly – or what have you. Stories like this are proof that you don’t have to be very godly or perfect to get a spouse.

    This guy is a pond scum child rapist and yet was married. Obviously, being a pond scum abuser did not hinder God from sending this guy a spouse.

    A lot of Christians say that the nuclear family is a necessary building block of culture, though the Bible does not teach this idea (otherwise the Bible would not state in 1 Cor 7 that God respects singleness), but regardless, notice that although this man was part of a nuclear family – he was married with a child on the way – this did not prevent him from being a sleaze bucket and raping little boys.

    Christians also are fond of teaching that married sex is great, regular, and very satisfying. If that is so, you’d think these perverts – who are married – might be sexually satisfied with their wives alone, but no, they still fondle and assault little kids. (But then, pedophilia does involve an adult who is sexually attracted to children, not adults.)

    I’ve just seen too many news stories of married Christian men who get caught raping people (even other adults) or being porn addicts to buy into the Christian myth that married sex is so wonderful, you won’t be tempted to go outside of the marriage to get sex.

    This first link is from a left wing site, and left wingers tend to be anti-gun (not that I’m particularly into gun culture myself, but I am not opposed to gun ownership or legal, responsible gun use, either, like a lot of liberals are):

    (Link): Gun-loving church youth mentor accused of creating horrifying sex attic to abuse young boys by B P Markus

    • A former church youth mentor is being accused of sexually abusing two young boys, according to the (Link): Charlotte Observer.
    • Julio Andres “Andy” Castillo, 34, of South Carolina, is being accused of multiple counts of sexually abusing the two boys while they were under the age of 16. Castillo has been jailed without bond since February 29. Castillo met the boys at church, Episcopal Church of Our Saviour and also York Place, a place where troubled children received counseling. York Place closed in November.
    • According to prosecutors, Castillo had a very close relationship with the boys’ family, which include keys to their home and free access to the children.
    • The abuse went to such an extent that Castillo built a secret room in his attic especially to molest the children. The room included a bed with rings for rope, so he could tie them up, according to the Observer. The room was accessible only with a ladder.

    Continue reading “Married Church Volunteer Had ‘Secret Sex Den Attic Where He Molested Neighbor’s Two Sons’”

    Scary Single Ladies: Rebecca Traister Explains Why Single Women Frighten The Hell Out Of The GOP

    Scary Single Ladies: Rebecca Traister Explains Why Single Women Frighten The  Hell Out Of The GOP

    Sometimes some of these reviews of Traister’s book, or interviews with her, bring up how so many Republicans often demonize or criticize single motherhood.

    I happen to be a Republican myself, someone who was raised in a traditional Christian home.

    One thing I don’t get is how so many other Republicans and Christians do in fact constantly bad-mouth single motherhood, but out of the other side of their mouths, they frequently complain that not enough women are having babies.

    It ticks these types of Republicans and Christians off that baby-making rates have declined a bit in the last decade or whatever (see this link for example).

    So, on the one hand, my fellow Republicans complain about women having babies (women who happen to be single), but then turn around and complain and gripe about women NOT having babies.

    Christians and Republicans are somewhat inconsistent on this point. They might argue that women should marry first, and then make a baby with their spouse, but this is part of the problem: plenty of women WANT to marry, but there are no eligible males for them to marry (see this link or this link for more).

    And, of course, there are married women who cannot have babies because they are infertile, or some may choose to forgo motherhood – and their choices should be respected, not condemned.

    Another thing that bothers me about this conservative demonizing of single motherhood is that I suspect one view that undergirds it is that they believe that marriage or parenthood supposedly makes adults more mature, responsible or godly, which is simply (Link): not true (and see this link and this link).

    (There are a lot of conservative Christians who have taught or said that people only become mature or responsible when they marry or have a kid.)

    The Bible does not teach that marriage or parenthood are necessary to make a person more godly, loving, responsible, or mature.

    And even every day common sense and observation bears that out: we’ve all known, or heard of, married parents who are immature, greedy, or immoral swine.

    Disclaimer:

    • I am right wing and have been a Republican for years. However, I don’t always agree with Republicans on everything.
      I do occasionally agree with some of the left wing’s criticism of right wingers, and concerning how dismally right wingers treat singles, I agree with them on that.

    The link I give you here is from a left wing site, by Amanda Marcotte, a liberal feminist who is (Link): sometimes hypocritical about women’s sexual issues.

    Even though I completely disagree with Marcotte on some topics, I did find myself agreeing with some of the content of this interview she had with this book author:

    (Link):  Scary single ladies: Rebecca Traister explains why single women frighten the hell out of the GOP by Amanda Marcotte

    Excerpts:

    • Author Rebecca Traister’s new book on single women looks at how this growing population is reshaping America
    • Author Rebecca Traister’s last book, “Big Girls Don’t Cry,” took a comprehensive look at how the 2008 elections changed everything for American women.
    • Now she’s back with a similarly pop music-themed title, “All the Single Ladies: Unmarried Women and the Rise of an Independent Nation,” an examination of the role single women have played in American culture, both in our history and in our current times.
    • (Link): Single women are a potent political force in a way that they never have been before, making up nearly a quarter of the electorate and leaning to the left of both men and their married counterparts.
    • This, along with a whole host of inchoate fears about what happens when women are left to their own devices without male supervision, has led to a rash of conservative pundits and politicians denouncing the ladies who aren’t married. I interviewed Traister about this moral panic over single women and what it means for the culture at large.
    • [Question to the book author]: In your book, you detail how obsessed the conservative media has become with single women, who clearly anger right-wing pundits. The most hilarious quote you pull is Rush Limbaugh whining, “What is it with all these young, single, white women?” What is it with these conservative pundits focusing on single women?
    • It was just a couple of weeks (Link): after his tirade of Sandra Fluke that he made those comments about another woman who had written a book.
    • The fact that he said “white,” well, there are these versions of single womanhood that we are presented and the version that threatens most, is the white, privileged women.
    • Sandra Fluke testifying in front of Congress, women who are writing books, Murphy Brown, and Anita Hill, even though she’s not white, a lawyer appeared for Clarence Thomas.
    • There is a kind of woman who is economically powerful, professionally powerful who threatens a white male grip on power that has a long historic precedent in the country. Independent women living outside of marriage threaten all kinds of things about the way power is supposed to work.
    • What if reproduction is taken outside that version of male control? What if women are competing?

    Continue reading “Scary Single Ladies: Rebecca Traister Explains Why Single Women Frighten The Hell Out Of The GOP”

    The Rise of Delayed Marriage and Female Friendship – article from The Atlantic

    The Rise of Delayed Marriage and Female Friendship – article from The Atlantic

    Speaking of friendship: there is an account on Twitter whose owner sticks up for friendship and sometimes blogs against the Christian obsession with marriage or the stupid Billy Graham Rule. That account is (Link): Forbidden Friendships (@MenWomenFriends)

    The Atlantic has a very long article about societal shifts concerning the delay or demise of marriage and the rise of female friendships, as they discuss it in the context of some television show called “Broads” that is about two lady friends. I’ve never seen the show.

    (Link):  Broad City and the Triumph of the Platonic Rom-Com by Megan Garber

    Excerpts:

    • The show’s new season asks what its heroines, Abbi and Ilana, are to each other: friends? Partners? More?
    • ….Abbi and Ilana share, basically, what a lot of young women—and young men—share in this age of delayed marriage and emergent adulthood and platonic roommates and geographic peripateticism and economic prosperity and economic uncertainty: a friendship that occupies the psychic space that used to be devoted to spouses and children.
    • While the (Link): marriage plot may still, dissolved and distended, drive many of Hollywood’s cultural products, Broad City reflects friendship’s age-old, but also new, reality: The show is suggesting that its heroines are already, effectively, married. To each other.
    • …The women’s partnership [which is platonic; they don’t have sex with each other], crucially, is not merely a matter of social circumstance; they aren’t simply keeping each other company until their respective dudes carry them along to their Happily Ever After. They are each other’s Happily Ever After. The pair, as Ann Friedman (Link): put it, are “more obsessed with each other than they are with men.” They are very probably the loves of each other’s lives.
    • Which makes Broad City, on the one hand, yet more evidence that we are living, as The Washington Post’s Alyssa Rosenberg (Link): put it, in “a golden age of female friendship.”

    Continue reading “The Rise of Delayed Marriage and Female Friendship – article from The Atlantic”

    A Pennsylvania man raped his sister, and their mother told her not to go to police

    A Pennsylvania man raped his sister, and their mother told her not to go to police

    Here we go again.

    If “Family Values” or “the Nuclear Family” was the building block of society and could save people – as some Christians seem to imply – we wouldn’t expect to see news stories like the following. There is nothing sacred about the family unit.

    There are never-married, childless adults such as myself who are ten times more ethical and godly than the deviants like we see in these types of news stories, who are in traditional family units.

    (Link):  Brother Raped Sister—and Mom Told Her Not to Go to Police by K. Lipp

    • January 25, 2016
    • Edward Geier was convicted of 1,074 counts of sexual assault and molestation. Meanwhile, his mother—who told the victim, her daughter, not to report her brother—hasn’t been charged.
    • A Pennsylvania man raped his sister, and their mother told her not to go to police.
    • Edward Geier was convicted last week of 1,074 counts of rape and molestation for abusing his sister and step-daughter. The trial (Link): lasted two and a half days and it took the jury just a few hours of deliberation to decide he was guilty.
    • While he faces life in prison, his mother is not facing any charges for telling her daughter not to report Geier’s rape to police—and even telling her to recant her accusation after she did tell cops.

    Continue reading “A Pennsylvania man raped his sister, and their mother told her not to go to police”

    Woman Rapes Her Own 1 Year Old Biological Son Sells Video To Pedo

    Woman Rapes Her Own 1 Year Old Biological Son Sells Video To Pedo

    Some factions of secular culture view childfree women as being selfish or horrible. Some conservative Christians think women who do not have children – whether by choice or circumstance – are somehow failures.

    Some Christians think that God’s only or primary goal for women is to marry and have children, so if you do not do either, they either look down their nose at you or think of you as some kind of monster.

    Of course, another myth a lot of Christians believe is that being a parent (or being married) makes a person more mature, loving, and godly.

    I think news stories like this go to show that up for the falsehood it is. This women sexually assaulted her own infant son, and for a profit – she sold video of the assault to a pedophile.

    I have never had a child, but I am more ethical, godly, and mature than this woman ever will be. Christians should stop holding parenthood (or marriage) up to be some kind of barometer of a person’s morality, godliness, or success in life.

    There are evangelical (and other) Christians who go on and on about “Family Values,” who think that the family is “the building block of society,” and who think all of society’s issues could vaporize if only everyone would marry and form a nuclear family of their own. What bunk! Having a kid sure as heck did not automatically make this woman a pillar of society – she raped her own child!

    The Bible does not say anything about “the family” saving society.

    (Link): Woman Rapes Her Own 1 Year Old Biological Son Sells Video To Pedo

    Excerpts:

    • A woman who filmed the rape of a baby is now being targeted with threats by outraged members of the public. Radio New Zealand reports that 23-year-old Krystal Harvey has been sentenced to eight months of home detention, along with 100 hours of community service after she was (Link): convicted of her crimes. Numerous people believe that the punishment wasn’t harsh enough, so is this woman in danger?
    • Threats against Harvey have allegedly originated on social media, where thousands of people have united against the woman convicted of sex crimes against a child. The Facebook page Krystal Harvey Should Go To Prison has more than 3,000 followers. Meanwhile, folks on Twitter are also paying attention to this shocking case.
    • The New Zealand Herald reported earlier this week that the convicted child molester (Link): would not serve any actual jail time for her crimes. The 23-year-old woman admittedly filmed herself raping her own 1-year-old son, which she sold to a pedophile for $300. She then used the $300 to buy herself a laptop, exhibiting an incredibly low price in exchange for the bond between mother and child, and the innocence of a baby.

    Continue reading “Woman Rapes Her Own 1 Year Old Biological Son Sells Video To Pedo”

    Friends say couple can’t be busy if they don’t have kids (advice column)

    Friends say couple can’t be busy if they don’t have kids

    Yes, people who are parents tend to have all kinds of condescending assumptions about the childless or childfree.

    Parents do tend to assume that those without children have buttloads of free time where all they do is sit around sipping margaritas or twiddling their thumbs, or, some of them assume that your life lacks true meaning or depth unless and until you have kids.

    Here is another example (for those of you parents who do NOT make these snotty assumptions about your childless or childfree friends, thank you).

    Friends say couple can’t be busy if they don’t have kids

    • Dear Carolyn: I am a childless woman. My husband and I work hard, and we like the way things are in our life.
    • So how do I respond when my friends say, “You can’t be that busy, you don’t have kids”? I am on call 24 hours per day, seven days a week, and my husband works mid-shifts so we are quite busy.
    • We also run a small business from our home, and have pets and other hobbies.
    • I am stunned when I hear this and always feel like I am being excluded on purpose.
    • Do I just let these friends go or what?

    —————————–

    Related Posts:

    (Link):   Greedy, Entitled Mother Expects Her Childless Friend to Buy Daughter Computer, DVD Player, or Digital Tablet

    (Link):  Childless Couple Who Donates to Childrens Charities Lambasted by Snotty Adult Sister for Not Showering Her Kids with Christmas Presents – Parents Who Discriminate Against the Childless

    (Link):  Mothers Who Steal Handicapped Parking Spots from Disabled Woman and Act Rude When Confronted – Motherhood does not make women more loving, nurturing, godly, or mature

    (Link):  Why all the articles about being Child Free? On Being Childfree or Childless – as a Conservative / Right Wing / Christian

    GOP Consultant Rick Wilson to MSNBC: Trump Supporters ‘Childless Single Men Who Masturbate to Anime’

    GOP Consultant Rick Wilson to MSNBC: Trump Supporters ‘Childless Single Men Who Masturbate to Anime’

    I am right wing, and a Republican (though I am lately thinking about leaving the GOP, but not for the Democrats. Both the GOP and the Democrats are disappointing, but for different reasons).

    I have said on this blog before that many Republicans (or at least a percentage) are stuck in the 1950s, and that they idolize the nuclear family. They ostracize or marginalize anyone who is not married with children (which is quite what conservative Christians do).

    Some of the following links pertain to Donald Trump. I know a lot of people find Trump polarizing, but I don’t have strong opinions for or against the guy.

    I don’t keep up with politics as much as I used to do, so I just happen to see the occasional blurb or Tweet about Trump. From what I’ve seen the last several months, Trump says offensive or over the top things. Every so often, he makes a point that I agree with a tiny bit.

    It’s highly inappropriate for a Republican to trash un-married or childless men for any reason, but I’d also include doing so for the sake of taking Trump down a peg or two. Insulting people for being single or childless, or in the context of scoring political points, is totally uncalled for.

    I suppose the GOP yea-hoo who made these disparaging remarks about single or childless people is unaware that most Americans today are single, and more and more are forgoing parenthood (Link about that and see this link).

    (Link): GOP strategist slams ‘crazy’ Trump fans: ‘Childless single men who masturbate to anime’

    Continue reading “GOP Consultant Rick Wilson to MSNBC: Trump Supporters ‘Childless Single Men Who Masturbate to Anime’”

    Parents Who Regret Having Children Speak Honestly About Why It Was A Huge Mistake

    Parents Who Regret Having Children Speak Honestly About Why It Was A Huge Mistake

    (Link): Parents who regret having children speak honestly about why it was a huge mistake

    Excerpt:

    • Jan 6, 2016
    • Not everyone is cut out for parenthood – mums and dads who readily admit their mistakes explain why it was a bad idea for them
    • Parenthood is something no man or woman should enter into lightly – and any mum or dad will tell you it’s hard work.
    •  

      Indeed, once you have kids, your life is never the same again.

    •  

      For some people, those changes are life-altering in a completely positive way. “I can’t remember life before the kids came along,” they will tell their friends with a smile.

    •  

      But for others, welcoming new life into the world just wasn’t ever the right thing to do for them, personally.

    •  

      Parents who regret having children have been (Link): sharing their thoughts on Q&A website Quora , explaining why starting a family wasn’t the best decision they’ve ever made.

    • ….2. “There’s a huge taboo about saying you simply hate being a parent”
    • One dad explains that he never wanted to have children and his wife felt the same, until she was around the age of 40 and discovered an ‘unquenchable desire for motherhood.’
    •  

      After several rounds of IVF and ‘huge time, financial and emotional costs’ a healthy son came along.

    •  

      The man, who remains anonymous, said he was “immediately plunged into a seemingly endless spiral of resentment and depression.”

    •  

      He continues: “I knew at a profound level that I Did Not Want This. It completely destroyed spontaneity and flexibility; everything needed planning, and our son like all very small children needed to be watched pretty much 24/7.”

    Continue reading “Parents Who Regret Having Children Speak Honestly About Why It Was A Huge Mistake”

    Dude Beats His Seven YO Son to Death, Fed Body To Pigs – Family Values

    Dude Beats His Seven YO Son to Death, Fed Body To Pigs – Family Values

    Okay, let’s review. I am right wing and not opposed to the traditional family or what some other right wingers refer to as “family values.” What perturbs me is that right wingers and Christians have placed way too much importance on either concept. They marginalize adult singles, the child free, the divorced, widowers, the infertile, and others as a result.

    Also, faith in Family Values is misplaced. The Bible does not advise Christians to put faith in Family Values to save culture or to save people – it says that is what faith in Jesus Christ is for.

    Harping on family values is not going to necessarily improve societal ills.

    Here’s a story which shows that the traditional family unit is not, contrary to what some other conservatives think, all that great, nor does the family unit always produce upstanding morality or persons – that is what the Holy Spirit is for, the Bible teaches.

    Christians especially like to teach that parents and the married are more mature, loving, godly, and compassionate than those who are single or who are childless or childfree.

    I don’t often see stories of adult, childfree singles who murder children and feed their dead bodies to pigs, but daily to weekly, I do see stories like this one below .

    I just saw another really bad news story last week about a mother who let her boyfriend sexually assault her biological daughter on numerous occasions over a period of several years. I never got around to blogging about that one, I don’t think, but I did Tweet a link to that news story on my Twitter account.

    There is simply nothing inherent about being married or being a parent which makes a person more caring or ethical than being single, divorced, or childless or childfree, something Christians and more conservatives need to be aware of.

    Continue reading “Dude Beats His Seven YO Son to Death, Fed Body To Pigs – Family Values”

    2015 Poll: 70% of American Women Who Have Abortions Identify As Christian

    2015 Poll: 70% of American Women Who Have Abortions Identify As Christian

    And 40% are regular church goers.

    I’m not sure what percentage of these women are married vs. single.

    Anyway, it would appear that self professing Christians are no more successful at following the Bible’s or Jesus’ teachings than Non-Christians.

    If any of these women are un-married, wow, the church needs to once more re-emphasize that single adults are directed by the Bible to sexually abstain – be celibate.

    If these women were celibate, they wouldn’t be having sex, and hence, obviously, would not be becoming pregnant and not feel the need to get abortions.

    But too much Christians today are too afraid to speak out against sexual sin, including (Link): preachers, because doing so (Link): may upset the sensitive feelings of Delicate Debbie,  Weepy Wendy, Sensitive Steven, Fornicating Fred, or Mopey Mike.

    If, as many conservative Christians believe, being a mother makes a woman more loving, godly, and mature, why do so many Christian women who become pregnant get that child aborted?

    Christians really need to re-think how they measure passage into maturity, adulthood, and how they measure sanctification, because getting married or getting pregnant (ie, having a baby) does not necessarily make a person more mature, loving, or godly, as these sorts of examples on my blog continue to show.

    (Link):  4 in 10 women who have had abortions are regular churchgoers

    • by Harry Farley
    • Four in ten women who have had abortions are regular churchgoers, new figures by (Link): LifeWay Research reveal.
    • The church is more likely to be a place of gossip, judgement and condemnation than care or help for women who are considering abortion, the study shows.
    • This is despite the fact that 70 per cent of women who have had abortions claim a Christian religious preference and 43 per cent were attending church at least once a month at the time of their abortion.
    • ….Perhaps because it is such a taboo, the church is becoming increasingly irrelevant for women deciding whether to have an abortion.

    Continue reading “2015 Poll: 70% of American Women Who Have Abortions Identify As Christian”

    Jesus Christ Removed the Stigma, Shame From Being Single and Childless – by David Instone Brewer

    Jesus Christ Removed the Stigma, Shame From Being Single and Childless – by David Instone Brewer

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    Reminder:

    (Link): Blogger Guy John Morgan Who Accused Me Of Being Untrustworthy Finds My Blog Trustworthy Enough to Use as Resource

    ———

    These are just excerpts, so you’ll have to visit the link here to read the page in full:

    (Link): Bible Scandals (Ineligible Bachelor) by David Instone-Brewer

    Commenting on what it was like to be single in the time and culture of Jesus:

    • …. Girls were mostly married by the age of twelve, and if a man wasn’t married by the age of twenty the gossips started comparing notes and looking for a reason.
    • …. So why was Jesus still single at the age of thirty? It was clear to all who knew him. No-one would let his daughter marry someone of questionable parentage since, if there was any irregularity in their birth, it could cast doubt on the legitimacy of their children for ten generations. And Jesus’ birth, as everyone knew, was very irregular.
    • …. Jesus not only shared the stigma of being single – he also tried to do something to alleviate it for other single people. Jewish law excused eunuchs from the command to marry, because they couldn’t physically fulfil the duty to have children.

    Continue reading “Jesus Christ Removed the Stigma, Shame From Being Single and Childless – by David Instone Brewer”