Conservative Motherhood Idolaters Once Again Upset Over People Finding Mother’s Day Painful, Re: Companies Allowing People to Opt Out of Mother’s Day Ads Has Them Incensed

Conservative Motherhood Idolaters Once Again Upset Over People Finding Mother’s Day Painful, Re: Companies Allowing People to Opt Out of Mother’s Day Ads Has Them Incensed

Let me get the usual out of the way:
I am a conservative.
I am not feminist.
I am not anti-motherhood. I do not support abortion.
I am not progressive, liberal, nor a Democrat, and I am fed up and sick and tired of seeing Rainbow Flags plastered all over social media by corporations during “Pride Month,”
and I am tired of companies hiring men such as Dylan Mulvaney who say they’re girls to advertise Tampons and Sports Bras.

Having said all that, I do believe that my fellow conservatives have gone down the 180 degree opposite wrong route from anti-motherhood, anti-Nuclear Family positions that neo-Marxist progressives hold to the degree they have turned motherhood (as well as natalism, the nuclear family, parenthood, marriage) into Idols, which goes against the Bible,
and they shame and insult anyone, but especially any woman, over the age of 30 who has never married, can’t marry, doesn’t want to, or doesn’t have kids, doesn’t want to have kids.

Companies presenting the public with the chance to not have to view Mother’s Day ads is not necessarily woke, Marxist, or progressive, and it’s not inherently “anti family” or “anti motherhood.” Stop conflating or confusing those issues, if you’ve been doing so.

Conservative Upset Over Companies Allowing Mother’s Day Marketing Opt Outs

About three or four days ago, I saw a well known Twitter conservative, Jack Posobiec, tweet about how some companies this year began letting others opt out of receiving Mother’s Day ads, and I saw another conservative also tweet out an alarm about this.

I saw another lady tweet about it, and I commented under her tweet. After that some lady (maybe a man?) named “Rae” started sending me rude tweets.

Before I get to those tweets – I will link to a few, maybe embed a few, I wanted to make the following observations.

I am not opposed to Mother’s Day or to Motherhood.

I am not demanding that anyone “cancel” Mother’s Day.

I am not asking or demanding that the general public each NOT honor their own mothers or give their Mom a Mother’s Day card, or take their Mom out for brunch for the day, if they wish.

That companies are allowing people to opt out of Mother’s Day marketing doesn’t bother me in the least.

I don’t see it as an “anti family” attack. To me, it’s not the same thing as a company plastering Rainbows all over their ads.

There are actually some people – including conservatives – who find Mother’s Day a painful holiday to endure, and they’d rather avoid as many Mother’s Day ads as they can; that is their personal choice, and that is okay.

If you’re a conservative who adores Mother’s Day and you choose to keep accepting Mother’s Day ads in YOUR in-box, I am fine with that. I am not telling you to skip the Mother’s Day ads if you enjoy them.

Why Some May Find Mother’s Day Disturbing or Painful

The reason some may want to avoid Mother’s Day advertisements is that they find Mother’s Day painful, because it reminds them that their mother died months or years ago (they’re still in the grieving process), their Mom is or was abusive to them, or, they are infertile, want to have a baby but cannot, due to physical health problems.

None of those reasons for not wanting to see Mother’s Day commercials or advertisements derives from a place of “devaluing” motherhood or hating motherhood – but even if it did, so what?

If you’re a mother, and you demand that others validate YOUR life choice to have children, you are in error.

If you had children to receive attention, pity, or validation from your family, your church, or the culture, you had children for all the wrong reasons.

Pride Month Marketing

Just as companies give people a choice to opt out of Mother’s Day ads, they should also do so concerning Father’s Day ads and LGBTQ and Pride Month ads.

Other conservatives keep bringing up Pride Month ads as a comparison, but I believe it’s an Apples Vs. Oranges situation.

If companies did give the public a choice to opt out of LGBTQ marketing, some of the far left progressives may be offended, but based on the average, conservative or libertarian LGB persons I follow on social media, most of them would be okay with that and would even opt out of the Pride Month ads too.

Where-as some people find Mother’s Day painful because perhaps they are infertile, their Mother is abusive, or their Mom died two years ago and they’re still grieving, I don’t think the same types of emotions are attached to Pride Month.

I don’t think too many gays are going to be completely upset to see Pride Month ads or not see them, or are as apt to become infuriated if a company gives users an opportunity to avoid them. It’s a month long holiday about sexual orientation, which as compared to death of a loved one (a mother), isn’t the same thing, and is no where near the same thing.

I mention that last point because so many motherhood idolizers keep screaming on Twitter about how companies keep cramming “Pride Month” down everyone’s throats.

And yes, they do.

Woke companies are annoying like that, and I too wish they’d stop.

I’m a hetero conservative, but as I am someone who is opposed to progressive transgenderism, I follow a lot of lesbians and homosexuals on twitter, because they are opposed to leftist trans activism, and some of them have said THEY too are sick and tired of “Pride Month” and all the rainbow flags everywhere.

Some of these LGB persons are liberal, conservative, or libertarian.

But woke companies cramming Pride Month marketing down everyone’s throats doesn’t change the fact that some people still find Mother’s Day, or Father’s Day, painful and do not want to see reminders of either one.

Churches and Mother’s Day

On the matter of churches, that is a little bit more tricky for me.

Back when I was a regular, and later, a semi-regular, church attender, I would choose to stay home around Mother’s Day, because sadly, too many churches celebrate Mother’s Day during Sunday morning services, making the audience in the pews a captive audience.

There are people in the pews who find the holiday a painful reminder that they’re infertile, or all their pregnancies have resulted in miscarriage, or their mother is dead, or their mother was abusive. I understand why they may not want to be subjected to Mother’s Day sermons or Mother’s Day ads.

Bizarre: Women Who Are Genuinely Fine With Being Single or Childless and Who Publicly Admit It Deeply Disturb or Infuriate Sexist Incel Types and My Fellow Conservatives, Who Want Such Women to Harbor a Victim Mindset

Bizarre: Women Who Are Genuinely Fine With Being Single or Childless and Who Publicly Admit It Deeply Disturb or Infuriate Sexist Incel Types and My Fellow Conservatives, Who Want Such Women to Harbor a Victim Mindset

I have been a conservative person my entire life. I am not liberal, woke, or progressive.

I am not opposed to marriage, motherhood, the nuclear family, or parenthood. I do not support abortion on demand.

For years now, I have noticed the oddest, most disgusting behavior from other conservatives: many of them become unhinged, unsettled, or very angry about women who are truly happy with being single or childless or childfree. It didn’t cross my mind to blog about this observation until now.

The cherry on top of Conservative Outrage on this topic is that the fury seems to be particularly directed at single, childless women who mention on social media or in televised interviews that they’re enjoying life single and childless.

That is, from the angry conservative pro-family types, if you are single, childless (or childfree) and happy about it as a woman, you damn well just better keep it to yourself.

These pro-family conservatives, many of whom even profess to be Christian, further sometimes say things to or about those childless women and tell them personally on social media, how miserable they must be.

They chortle things at them things like, “You will die alone in a house full of cats,” and they say this as though they are filled with glee and happy at the thought of childless women dying alone and unhappy. How perverse.

Some of them, like Catholic Matt Walsh, even like to get ageist, and toss in comments about age at these women, saying to them, “You’re nearing 40…” or, “You’re almost 50….” (See (Link): example Tweet of his here.)

Ditto regarding “incels” or other types of men who are deeply sexist and ageist towards women. They too get very agitated and unglued if a woman publicly admits to being okay, content, or happy with being single or childless.

It’s as though these groups need and desperately want to believe that women who are and remain single or childless (or childfree) are lonely, bitter, miserable, and unhappy, or will become so in the future – and they need to believe that such women are deeply unhappy precisely because those women are single, childless, or childfree.

In the reverse situation, every once in awhile a woman celebrity may publicly say she’s sad that she was never able to have children – and what do the sexist conservatives and d-bag incels do, but immediately take screen captures of the comments, share them all over social media, as if to say,

“See? See?! Feminism has made women miserable. All women obviously want to marry and have babies! They are depressed if they don’t marry and have children, see, see, see!!!
“Women are unable to enjoy life or find contentment if they never marry or never have children, here is your proof, right here, this lady movie star saying she is lonely at 62 and regrets she never had children!!!!”

I’ve never been a feminist, but may I add: if some women are unhappy being childless or single, it may be in part precisely because conservatives and churches are constantly brainwashing women to think their only purpose in life, and their only road to happiness, resides in marrying and becoming pregnant.

If a woman grows up in a family, societal, or religious context that conditions her to think that she can be happy and have meaning only if she marries or has children, well, duh, don’t be surprised if yes, some women may get to adulthood and feel a little down that they’re not married or don’t have kids.

But that would be a result, in part, due to conservative, traditional, old school “family values” brainwashing. That would not be due to “feminism,” of all things

It’s as though many conservatives and sexist lunatics want single and childless women to be unhappy. It’s utterly bizarre to me.

Before I go on further, here is a pertinent article from the WSJ:

(Link): What’s That Ticking Sound? The Male Biological Clock

Men are also at the mercy of age when it comes to having kids

June 25, 2011
By Jennifer Vanderbes

A man’s age when he has children is turning out to be an important factor in that child’s health, according to WSJ contributor Jennifer Vanderbes. Kelsey Hubbard talks to the author about the role a man’s biological clock plays in a child’s risk for diseases and disorders.

Conservatives and the Double Standard Re: Lonely, Single Hetero Men

By the way, I’ve seen more and more articles the last several years that say more and more hetero men are single, and those hetero men either don’t want to date or marry (they’ve lost interest), or, some of them do want to date or marry women, but they can’t seem to get girlfriends and do not know how to go about getting dates or getting a girl friend.

So, I then began seeing news stories such as these about men who are single, some of whom are lonely:

(Link): Guy So Depressed Over Being Single He Cut Off His Own Penis (article)

(Link): ‘Transmaxxing’: Meet The Online Community Encouraging Gender Transitions For Sexually Frustrated (Incel) Men

(Link): Number of ‘Lonely, Single’ Men is on the Rise as Women with Higher Dating Standards Look for Partners Who are ‘Emotionally Available, Good Communicators, and Share Similar Values’, Says Psychologist

(Link): Dear Abby: I (Older, Single Man) Gave Up Dating Women, and 30 Years Later, I’m Lonely

(Link): Bitter, Frustrated 22 Year Old Male Virgin and Member of Men’s Rights / PUA Groups Kills Several Women Because He Couldn’t Get Dates – what an entitled sexist doof

Funny how I seldom see other conservatives mocking such men as the ones mentioned in those news articles for being single and lonely.

If anything, when these topics and news reports of men “falling behind” in culture are brought up, both conservative men and women rush to the men’s defense, to pity them and portray men in culture as being victims.

Often times, such conservatives who paint men as a group as being victims blame women for the men’s victim status, or else, they blame feminism or feminists, for the failings of men – it is so hypocritical and laughable.

By the way, as a conservative, I’ve also noticed that any time a new study or news story is published about men being single and lonely, that conservatives such as (but not limited to) Tucker Carlson will offer very understanding, compassionate, nuanced examinations about these shifts in culture leaving men out in the cold, and how society has supposedly let men down.

Carlson especially likes to invite on conservative women guest speakers on to his television program on Fox News who back Carlson up on this issue, and these women cluck in worry over those poor, poor, single men who are allegedly being kept down and single by a supposedly “feminized” culture of raving, men-hating feminists.

However, if women are under discussion – let’s say there’s a study or news story about women finding it difficult finding suitable marriage partners to marry, or what have you – those very same conservatives who pity men will revoke deep, thoughtful, compassionate analysis to instead snigger in contempt that, “feminism has made you women miserable, ha ha ha, look how  you’ve traded the bliss of family and marriage to being chained to a corporate desk! Ha ha, it’s so wonderful to see single and childless women suffering!”

The culture-wide problems that men face and the ones that women face are treated completely differently by such conservatives, with pity and empathy (and lots of excuses and justifications) being made for the failings or sadness of men,
while women, on the other hand, get roasted, demonized, mocked, and criticized, often for things and problems that they actually did not bring about, but are blamed for anyhow.

I see this phenomenon come up quite often by Tucker Carlson, Matt Walsh, sometimes Ben Shapiro, Candace Owens, and so on.

The men always get a pass, and always get rationalizations and lots of hugs, kisses, and reassurances, and the men’s failings get blamed on women, or on feminism, while the women, on the other hand, usually (wrongly), get blamed for problems they did not create, and they get ridiculed or criticized, too.

New Jersey Restaurant, Nettie’s, Wisely Bans Children (Good For Them) – Most People Do Not Want Screaming Kids Present or Underfoot When Eating Out

New Jersey Restaurant, Nettie’s, Wisely Bans Children (Good For Them) – Most People Do Not Want Screaming Kids Present or Underfoot When Eating Out

I don’t know how this Feb. 10, 2023 news story escaped my attention previously.

There are so many restaurants that already permit babies and children, I marvel every time a business does ban kids – you’ll see one of these news stories about once every two years – and parents get into an uproar about it and throw hissy fits.

Most people do not want to put up with loud, unruly children on airplanes, movie theaters, and restaurants.

Most parents are entitled narcissists who think everyone will or should love and adore their children as much as they do. Wrong. We don’t.

I remember going to a “help yourself” type restaurant, when I was in my 20s, where you take your dishes and tray up to the food bars, then walk your tray (loaded with food) back to your table,
and as I was walking back to my table, two kids, a boy and a girl, who must’ve been around ages 3 or 4, keep running and running in front of me, in back of me, around me in circles, because they were chasing one another (they were also screaming and yelling, treating the dining room as though it were a playground).

I was scared to death those kids would cause me to trip and fall, spilling the very hot food on myself or them or on other patrons, and someone would get burned.

I kept waiting for their irresponsible parents to tell the kids to sit down and shut up, but they did not. It’s a miracle of sorts I made it to my table without spilling anything on my tray that day.

Nobody wants to put up with that when they go out in public. Nobody.

I don’t mind if other people want to have children, but I resent being subjected to their misbehaving, loud, screaming babies, toddlers, little kids, pre-teens, or teens when I go out in public.

Now, I don’t support abortion, so if you’re a woman who gets pregnant, you should give birth and give the kid up for adoption if you don’t want to raise it yourself, but if you keep it, don’t bring the kid to a restaurant until he or she is old enough to behave.

Surprised that fellow conservatives, who are always wrong on such topics, didn’t chime in to mock a restaurant that bans kids under ten from dining there – surprised that Matt Walsh, Tucker Carlson, and all the usual hyper-pro-children persons and groups didn’t run out and do video segments or blog posts denouncing this restaurant over this, screaming or mocking them. I guess they save their bile only for single, adult, child women who are fine with being single and childless.

(Link):  Italian restaurant in New Jersey banning children under 10

Feb. 11, 2023

Nettie’s House of Spaghetti in Tinton Falls announced on its social media platforms that beginning March 8, children under 10 will not be allowed to dine there.

…According to its website, the restaurant will be closed for its winter break from Feb. 20 to March 7. The age limit ban will go into effect the following day.

Nettie’s, described as a “retro-chic pasta joint” by NJ.com, was named the state’s 28th-best Italian restaurant by the news outlet.

An age-limit at a restaurant is not new.

In 2021, Red Rooster Burgers and Grill in Garden Valley, California, banned patrons under 18 unless they were accompanied by an adult, “Today” reported. The restaurant cited bad behavior from teens that caused damage at the business.

Another California restaurant, Old Fisherman’s Grotto in Monterey, made headlines in 2018 when it banned “crying children” or youths making “loud noises,” “Today” reported. The restaurant also had a “no stroller” police in effect since 2009.

Nettie’s did not respond to “Today’s” request for comment.

(Link): New Jersey restaurant Nettie’s sparks furious debate after banning children under the age of 10

by Kelsi Karruli
February 10, 2023

A New Jersey restaurant has sparked furious debate after revealing it was banning children under the age of 10 from dining in.

Italian restaurant Nettie’s, located in Tinton Falls, New Jersey, caused a stir on social media after making the announcement.

In a Facebook post, a staff member said the ban would begin March 8, claiming its decision was due to rowdy children causing safety issues during peak dining times.

The new policy comes after another woman called for ‘adults only’ suburbs to have ‘peace and quiet’ without any disturbances from children.

Despite the growing calls for more strict no-kids rules to be enacted, the restaurant’s announcement has come under fierce criticism from many parents, triggering heated discussion about the controversial policy.

‘It’s been extremely challenging to accommodate children at Nettie’s. Between noise levels, lack of space for high chairs, cleaning up crazy messes, and the liability of kids running around the restaurant, we have decided that it’s time to take control of the situation,’ the post read.

‘This wasn’t a decision that was made lightly, but some recent events have pushed us to implement this new policy. As of March 8, the day we return from our winter break, we will no longer allow children under 10 to dine in the restaurant.

‘We know that this is going to make some of you very upset, especially those of you with very well-behaved kids, but we believe this is the right decision for our business moving forward. Thank you for understanding.’

The announcement prompted major backlash from many diners.

The Bizarre, Misguided Shaming of Single and Childless or Childfree Women by Pro-Lifer Abby Johnson – (Not All Single, Childless Women are Liberal, Pro-Choice Feminists)

The Bizarre, Misguided Shaming of Single and Childless or Childfree Women by Pro-Lifer Abby Johnson – (Not All Single, Childless Women are Liberal, Pro-Choice Feminists)

When I was on Twitter the other day, someone who I follow on Twitter commented on a Tweet by a lady calling herself Abby Johnson.

A reminder: I sometimes follow people on social media who I don’t fully agree with on all topics. I’m a conservative, but I follow some liberals and progressives, including women who call themselves “radical feminists.” A lot of those radical feminists are pro-choice; they support abortion, I do not.

Like me, most of those radical feminists do not support “sex work” (strip clubs, prostitution, etc), and they do not support transgender activism.

Here is how Abby Johnson is currently describing herself on her Twitter bio (@AbbyJohnson):

Planned Parenthood Director turned Pro-Life Advocate! CEO of @ATTWNministry
. Global Ambassador for @COL1972official
. Best selling author & speaker. Mama/Wife
— end Twitter bio —

I am sincerely glad to hear that Johnson flipped her opinion on abortion, that she went from being pro-choice to pro-life.

Johnson seems a bit familiar. I think I may have seen her interviewed on Christian television program “The 700 Club,” in one of their CBN news segments, or perhaps I saw her on Fox News at some point?

At any rate, I am dismayed by her Twitter feed. Unfortunately, she, like many of my other fellow conservatives, falsely equates motherhood and wifehood with womanhood. I corrected her on that under a few of her other tweets.

(I’m not sure if Johnson is a Christian or not, but from her tweets, I can see that she leans right – as I do – and she also is pro-life, does not support transgenderism. I too am pro-life, and I sure as heck do not support progressive transgenderism, ie, allowing biological men who say they are women into women’s prisons, women’s locker rooms and so forth).

Also like a lot of other conservatives, Johnson holds a lot of false stereotypes about secular, liberal feminists. Not all feminists support trans activism, are anti-men, anti-nuclear family, and so on. There are actually women feminists who are married mothers.

If you’ve followed my blog, you will already know that I am middle-aged, I am single by circumstance (not by choice – not that men or women who choose to be single should be criticized for that, either), I am a conservative, I am anti-progressive trans agenda, and I am pro-life.

I am not opposed to The Nuclear Family, parenthood, and marriage, but I am opposed to the deification of such by other conservatives.

(Yes, most conservatives have unfortunately turned “the family,” motherhood, fatherhood, and marriage into idols, and they frequently love to make negative assumptions about, and insult anyone, who isn’t married or who doesn’t have children).

Let’s look at some of Johnson’s tweets – here’s the first one that I saw the other day, because someone I followed on Twitter commented below it (link to her tweet):

So, what does Johnson do with conservative, pro-life, anti- leftist transgender activism, middle-aged never married women such as myself, who was a devout Christian for decades, who had expected to get married, never met the right guy, remained faithful to biblical sexual ethics – no sex outside of marriage, hence no pregnancies?

Why is Johnson lumping pro-life, conservative, single, childless women, such as myself, into the same group with progressive, pro-choice, pro-progressive- gender- ideology women? Which is what she’s doing, because she’s equating being a woman, and/or a decent, happy woman, with being married and a mother.

Johnson is unnecessarily insulting other pro-life, conservative women who never did marry, who may never marry, and who do not have children, and she’s doing this to score a few points against what she terms “radical feminists,” who she (like many of my other fellow conservatives) wrongly assume, are all man-hating, baby-hating, single women who are lonely, miserable Cat Ladies.

(The Cat Lady trope is very sexist and needs to die off already. I usually see men tossing this at women. It feels a little more gross to see a woman tossing this sexist stand-by at other women to insult them with.)

In trying to score points against radical feminists, many of whom are actually married with children (and possibly cats) of their own, Johnson creates collateral damage.

Meaning…
Not all conservative, anti-trans agenda, pro-life women are married, can get married, or want to get married. Not all conservative, anti-trans agenda, pro-life women have children, can have children, or want to have children.

Why is Abby Johnson throwing such conservative women under the bus? To get some cheap shots in at liberal, feminist, pro-choice women?

I’m a conservative, and while I do not agree with feminists (radical or otherwise) on every issue, I am not okay with Johnson (or other conservatives) shaming or insulting liberal or pro-choice women over their marital or parenting status, or that of mine or that of other conservative women.

I cannot imagine how Johnson hopes to change any pro-choice minds by carrying on like she is?

Dear Abby: “My Kids Never Call or Visit Me” – Your Adult Children Do Not Owe You Friendship and Won’t Visit You When You Are Elderly: Readjust Your Expectations, Parents

Dear Abby: “My Kids Never Call or Visit Me” – Your Adult Children Do Not Owe You Friendship and Won’t Visit You When You Are Elderly: Readjust Your Expectations, Parents

If you’re a childfree person, you know you’ve heard pro-parenthood people, usually parents themselves, ask a million times, “But who is going to take care of you when you get older?”

From what I’ve heard of people who work in nursing homes, the adult children of elderly people in nursing homes seldom to never go to visit them.

When I used to periodically visit my grandmother in a nursing home, as myself and other family would be sitting in the lobby waiting for a nurse to wheel my grandmother out to visit, other seniors would wheel up to myself or one of my aunts and start to cry.

These seniors would cry (I mean literally cry, with tears running down their faces), and they’d say, “I don’t like it here, I want to go home.”

The vibe is that these elderly people hated being in the nursing home (which is understandable; I felt so bad for these people), but they were apparently not getting many visits (if any at all) from their family members.

When one of my Aunts got into her 80s (by that time, her spouse had been dead for around ten or more years), she was living alone, her memory was going – she eventually had to move in with one of her adult sons.

But prior to that, for years and years, that Aunt was on her own. She’d phone my Dad (her brother in law) any time she needed help.

My Dad ended up doing things like driving that particular Aunt of mine to the hospital at 2:00 in the morning when she fell and broke a rib. She called him and asked him for help with that.

My Dad went to her home on another occasion to fix a leaking toilet. My Dad also mowed her lawn for her a few times.

My Aunt’s own own adult son, who lived much closer to her than my father did, was not stepping up to the plate. He only came into the picture when there was no other choice.

His Mom (my Aunt) eventually got fairly bad dementia, or whatever problem (her recall became terrible) – she also became more and more physically frail, and it became glaringly obvious she could no longer live alone.

Only then did the adult son step up and let her live in his house, something he should’ve done years prior.

Before that, my Dad, who was up there in age himself, was driving to her house, which was like a 40 minute commute each way, to run errands for her, drive her to doctor’s appointments, etc, whenever she’d phone for help.

In reading up on books and web pages on abuse and codependency, I kept seeing one boundary violation by parents who have this bogus expectation that their adult children owe them friendship – to keep them occupied when they’re lonely.

This is doubly true if the parent in question is widowed (the other spouse died), or if they’re in a lonely, loveless marriage.

These types of parents (usually the mother) actually expects that their adult children (usually a daughter) to wait on them hand and foot, eat lunch with them daily, to phone them daily to chit chat – to be their buddy, their confidant and their pal to keep loneliness at bay.

And that is not a fair or reasonable expectation for a parent to have. Psychologists write about this in their books, it’s not merely me informing you of this.

I also read an entire book about emotional incest by a psychologist, and, according to this book, a lot of parents actually begin looking to a young child of theirs to meet their emotional needs and their need for companionship and/or identity or purpose when their kid is a baby, toddler, pre-teen, or teen!

This sort of thing does not always start in the kid’s adulthood, in other words. For some kids, it begins when they’re a baby or small child.

If the parent leans on the child in that manner, according to the psychologist who treats the now-adult patients who were leaned on by a parent when they were a kid, it will create all sorts of problems for the child when he or she grows up.

If you’re a parent, you need to realize that it’s not your child’s responsibility or duty to provide you with companionship, regardless of your child’s age.

If you are lonely or bored, you need to get out of the house and make friends with people YOUR OWN AGE.

You should never, ever rely on a child of yours (whatever their age) to meet your need for friendship, nor should you share personal details with them, like divorce stress, or whatever.

Your child is not your mini-therapist at any age. Talk to an adult friend about your adult problems. Making friends as an adult is not easy, but you will be messing up your kid if you start sharing “adult” details and problems with them, especially if they are young.

Anyway, having children is NOT a guarantee that the children will regularly stay in touch with you as you age.

(Link): Dear Abby: My Kids Never Call or Visit Me

by Dear Abby
January 29, 2023

DEAR ABBY:
I am an active widower with five grown children. Although three of them live in the same city and two live in a city nearby, I haven’t heard from or seen them as often over the past few years as I would like.

I realized recently that I miss their company and I’d like them to call or see me more often.

Man Legally Changed Genders to Gain Custody of His Kids; Trans Groups Concerned

Man Legally Changed Genders to Gain Custody of His Kids; Trans Groups Concerned

Progressive causes like LGBTQ can have all kinds of terrible and unintended consequences, one of which is, perverted men claiming to be trans getting access to women’s bathrooms so they can sexually assault women, but then, there are other odd ball, troubling, or strange ramifications, such as this one (and why would Trans groups be upset about this? Their weird views about sex and gender are responsible for opening this can of worms in the first place)…

Also way further below, I discuss the apparent hypocrisy of conservatives, including Christian gender complementarians, about their inconsistency of when and where to support motherhood, and I also comment on conservative commentator Tucker Carlson’s sexist attitudes about women having careers.

(Link): Man Legally Changed Gender to Gain Custody of His Kids. Trans Groups Are Concerned. – via VICE:

Excerpts:

René Salinas Ramos says the legal change is an attempt to gain full custody of his daughters, because Ecuadoran law favors mothers in custody battles.

By Nathaniel Janowitz
January 5, 2023

A cisgender man in Ecuador legally changed his gender to female in an attempt to gain custody of his two daughters. But LGBTQ groups are concerned about the man’s use of a law designed to promote transgender rights, and what effect it could have in the future.

René Salinas Ramos, 47, told local media that the change was not related to his sexuality or identity, but rather that the Ecuadorian legal system gives preferable rights to mothers over fathers when it comes to the custody of children.

… “I am very sure of my sexuality. What I have sought is that I want to be a mother, so that I can also give the love and protection of a mother.”

Woman Continues To Enjoy Her Ice Cream In Peace As Entitled Mother Yells Profanities At Her For Not Sharing The Treat With Crying Toddler

Woman Continues To Enjoy Her Ice Cream In Peace As Entitled Mother Yells Profanities At Her For Not Sharing The Treat With Crying Toddler

This mother is incredibly entitled. It is NOT the responsibility of a stranger to hand your kid her ice cream she just bought.

Parenthood does NOT make people more godly, loving, ethical, nor does parenthood make culture “better,” as so many hyper-Nuclear Family conservatives continue to argue. (I am a conservative as well, but I recognize the obnoxiousness and wrongness of so many “pro parenthood” type comments I see from “hyper pro Nuclear Family” conservatives).

The mother in this example sounds like a pathological narcissist. If someone has a terrible personality style while single and childless, they will continue to have a terrible personality after they marry and become a parent.

(Link): Woman Continues To Enjoy Her Ice Cream In Peace As Entitled Mother Yells Profanities At Her For Not Sharing The Treat With Crying Toddler

Excerpts:

AITA for relishing my ice-cream in front of a crying toddler?

I (25F) had to travel to a city 6 hours away for college related work. The trip was pretty tight. I had to leave on Thursday night by train and reached the city on Friday early morning, was engaged in work till the evening and then take a train to get back home on friday night itself.

When I got into the train at about 10 PM, I still hadn’t had dinner.

I was exhausted. I happened to share my cabin in the train with a middle aged woman and her toddler.

There was around 30 mins left for the train to start so I went out of the train, quickly got some snacks and ice-cream and got back to the cabin. I decided to have the ice-cream first because I didn’t want it to melt. The toddler saw it and starting asking for it.

I just looked at the mom and she goes “give it to my son and buy yourself a new one”.

I was taken aback because she wasn’t even requesting, she was demanding.

Guy Cheats On His Wife And Divorces Her, Expects Her To Mother His Kids From The Affair After His Second Wife’s Death

Guy Cheats On His Wife And Divorces Her, Expects Her To Mother His Kids From The Affair After His Second Wife’s Death

So what we have here is a guy who had an affair on his first wife.

(A sixteen year old girl wrote in asking for advice about all this. This guy she’s talking about is her father.)

This guy and Wife 1 had two children together, a boy and a girl.

Wife 1 divorced him (or he divorced her), and the guy married his mistress, who became Wife 2, “Kate.” 

The guy and Kate had two kids together, “Ellie” and “Tommy.”

Ellie was a product of the guy’s affair – that is, while this guy was married to Wife 1, he committed adultery with Kate, and Kate got knocked up with Ellie. Tommy, the boy, was born AFTER the guy married Kate.

After X number of years of marriage, Kate died. 

Now, the two kids of Kate and the guy (Ellie and Tommy) miss their mother and miss having a maternal figure in their lives, and they – and the ex Husband (their biological father) – are now demanding that Wife 1 act as their mother and start including them in holidays, “babying” them, acting maternal towards them, and what not.

Wife 1 and her kids from the first marriage want nothing to do with this arrangement. (And I don’t blame them.)

If I remember right, Kate’s family cut ties with Kate and the guy and their two kids (Ellie and Tommy) because they were upset, offended, or angry that Kate was a mistress who stole this guy away from his first wife. 

Look, I feel for those kids (Ellie and Tommy). It has to be difficult to lose your mother especially at a young age, but it’s not Wife 1’s responsibility to step up to the plate to “mother” the two kids popped out by Former Mistress Kate (who became Wife 2). 

I think that the dad (the ex husband) is entitled here – very entitled. It’s bad enough this ass hat cheated on Wife 1 with Kate, but he’s also now demanding that Wife 1 take over “mother” duties for the kids he and Kate had together.

Let me tell you – if you’re a single woman on a dating site or app, watch out for things like this.

Dating a parent (a person with children from a previous marriage) can be a huge mistake. This guy is probably on dating apps and sites right now, seeking Wife 3, or, if he’s not on dating sites now, he will probably join one in the future.

On any of his dating site profiles, he will probably omit that he lost Wife 1 via divorce due to his affair with “Kate.” He’ll leave that out, and just expect YOU to baby and take care of his children by Kate.

Avoid guys like this. Avoid, avoid, avoid. It’s better to stay single than get mixed up in taking on responsibilities and selfish, irresponsible, entitled ass clowns like this guy.

It’s not Wife 1’s job or duty to be a care taker and/or free therapist to his two children by Kate who are probably in the grieving process.

This father in this example needs to be spending time with both his children, attending to their emotional needs as they are grieving their mother. He also probably needs to take them each to separate, regular therapy sessions for a couple of years, so they can talk and cry to a therapist and work through their grief.

He may also want to try signing them up for free Grief Share meetings, that tend to meet regularly at churches around the nation (Grief Share meetings are free). They can sit in a circle of other people and talk through their feelings of loss and get their emotional needs met that way.

I do feel bad for the kids who are currently around ages 9 and 11. At that age, all they know is, their real mom is gone, they are grieving her, and they are wanting a maternal figure they can go to.

From their perspective, they aren’t going to see why it’s a big deal for the step-mom to step up and act as their mother now. I can totally understand from THEIR view why and how they can feel that way.

It’s a sad situation… because from the adult perspective, the step-mother owes the 9 and 11 year old nothing, but the kids are going to have a difficult time understanding or accepting that. The choice is hers, the adult woman, as to whether or not take on the role of acting like a maternal figure to them.

Sounds to me as though this guy is selfish and doesn’t want to do any parenting; he just wants to dump the two kids off at the ex-wife’s (Wife 1’s) house and have her cater to them as they cry and weep over their dead mom.

If this guy wants his second batch of two kids to have a mother, he needs to get re-married. It’s not the responsibility of Wife 1 to “act as a mother figure” to his second set of kids by his mistress Kate. That this guy would even THINK this is acceptable is a clue to me he’s probably a narcissist. 

This dad should stop using his 16 year old daughter by Wife 1 as a pawn in all this. He’s going to her, the teen daughter, to get her to try to convince Wife 1 to be a mother figure to his second set of kids. 

Also: notice how being married and a father did NOT make this man more ethical, responsible, mature, or godly.

(Link): Guy Cheats On His Wife And Divorces Her, Expects Her To Mother His Kids From The Affair After His Second Wife’s Death

Excerpts (the site summarizes the story while also providing screen shots of the original poster’s text):

by Konstancija Gasaitytė and Monika Pašukonytė

…Despite thinking that family is something that makes us feel safe and secure, sometimes because of certain twists and turns, it tends to fall apart.

Having this in mind, Reddit user @u/Affectionate_Kick521 decided to share the situation she found herself in that involved her parents and siblings.

The story which received more than 12k upvotes soon started a discussion online about how parents should behave in situations like this and how kids shouldn’t be the ones telling their parents how to deal with difficult circumstances. 

[Their source: (Link): AITA for saying I don’t care if my half siblings feel left out because it’s not my mom’s job to mother them?]

The 16-year-old author of the post started her story by sharing that she lived with her mom, dad, and her brother until it was revealed that her dad was having an affair.

After the news broke out, the man and his wife divorced and he went to live with and eventually marry the other woman, Kate.

Together they had two kids: 11-year-old Ellie and 9-year-old Tommy. After a year, Kate died and this is when all the problems started.

The Dad Is The A-Hole: Dad Rages as Wife Refuses to Pay for His Kids from Another Marriage

The Dad Is The A-Hole: Dad Rages as Wife Refuses to Pay for His Kids from Another Marriage

As someone who has no desire to marry a dude previously married and especially a previously married guy with kids from said previous marriage, I am on “Team Stacey” on this one.

I was always sexually responsible… I did not diddle around outside of marriage, because I didn’t want to get pregnant (birth control is not 100% effective, and I don’t believe in abortion).

If you’re divorced and you re-marry, it is not your new spouse’s job, obligation, or duty to emotionally or financially support your crotch fruit from your previous relationship. No psychologist, therapist, of family counselor out there can convince me otherwise.

And single parents can be huge hypocrites on this one – I used to lurk at child free forums filled with never-married, child free adults who said they keep noticing on dating sites and dating apps that the single parents say they expect YOU to be a loving, nurturing, considerate step-parent to their kids from a previous marriage,
but
they also specify in their dating profiles that they do not want YOU to have any kids of your own from one of your prior relationships
– those types of single parents can go f*ck themselves sideways.

The hypocrisy with single parents who demand you be okay with them already having children (and these are often also the same types who annoyingly insist on their profile pages that they and their kids are a “package deal,” and “you MUST ACCEPT THAT FULLY” – insert barf emoji here 🤮) while they are not okay with YOU already having kids (if you do), and they also demand that only child-free adults contact them for dating in their dating profiles – is astounding.

I myself never married, I was sexually abstinent, so I never had children, I did not want that responsibility, so I was sexually responsible. If you think I would be willing to take on parent-like responsibilities (or any at all) to YOUR children from your last relationship, think again.

This guy is entitled.

It’s not his second wife’s responsibility to care for his kids from a former marriage, financial or otherwise – and especially considering he pressured, demanded, forced her, or expected her, to pay for half of all household expenses, which his children from his first marriage benefit from.

But I can imagine a percentage of single parents out there RAGING at that – miffed at the idea that there are childless adults such as myself who don’t feel the least obligated to help them raise their kids from another partner. That’s how life goes.

My dating preferences and values are mine. I am not obligated to change them because someone else is having a total hissy fit due to poor life choices they made, and I refuse to go along with it.

I have no empathy for this guy. Zippo. His second wife owes his kids from Marriage One nothing, not in the form of financial support, not like how he is demanding.

Beyond the bare, bare minimum, the spouse owes nothing here – if one of the kids from the former marriage is getting eaten by an alligator, yes the non-biological parent should dial animal control, the police, or whomever one calls for help in such a situation to get the kid to safety – but beyond basics like that, NO.

This example below is why, if you are a never married, childless adult you never, ever date or marry someone with children from a previous relationship, unless perhaps those kids are out of the house and self-sufficient, unless you really, really relish the idea of raising someone else’s brats.

So this entitled guy has three children from his first marriage to “Hannah” and two children via his second wife, (who he calls “Stacey“) for a total of five children for him.

And notice that being a five time parent has not made this guy more loving, ethical, responsible, mature, or godly.

About the ONLY part of his letter that makes me think that Stacey, the second wife, is being unfair, weird, or unreasonable, is where he says she demands that he pay her the same amount in child care for THEIR children together that she sends the ex-wife (“Hannah”) in child support. I just find that very odd.

If the dude is already paying half of house-hold expenses (she’s paying the other half), I don’t see the need for that.

A dude should not be paying a current-wife “child support” for kids they have – if he’s already paying or partially paying for food, lodging, etc. I’ve never before heard of a current spouse paying child support to another current spouse.

That is just bizarre and too controlling or petty on the part of “Stacey.” But to the rest of it, no, I’m not on the husband’s side here.

(Link): Dad rages as wife refuses to pay for his kids from another marriage

by Christine Younan

The anonymous man has been left raging as he claims his wife refuses to pay “her fair share” when it comes to his children from another marriage. He opened up on Reddit

Oct 23 2022

….Now one man is raging as his wife won’t pay “her fair share” when it comes to his kids from another marriage.

The woman does however pay her half of the joint household expenses, which involve things for the children.

Taking the Reddit, the dad-of-five explained his point-of-view as he still supports his three sprogs with his ex-wife.

He said he’s been married to his wife Stacey [the second wife], 30, for about five years now and they share two children together.

The man wrote: “I also share three children with my ex-wife Hannah, 37.

“Ever since Stacey and I got together she has made it very clear to me that my three children are mine and Hannah’s responsibility, not hers. This has worked out well so far, but lately it has been taking a toll on me.

“I pay Hannah child support every month, ever since Stacey had our first child she has demanded that I give her the same amount of money each month to keep things ‘fair’.

“In addition, I have to pay for half of our joint household expenses (ie mortgage, utilities, food) and my own car. Stacey pays for the majority of expenses for our children.”

But the problem for the man is that his wife Stacey has an issue with covering expenses for his kids.

I’m Child-Free by Choice So No, I Don’t Want to Look After Your Kids by Jana Hocking

I’m Child-Free by Choice So No, I Don’t Want to Look After Your Kids by Jana Hocking

This is interesting… it’s (the essay below, via New York Post) presented from a secular vantage, so I’m not sure what the religious beliefs are here, or if everyone discussed is an atheist or what, but I can tell you as a former Southern Baptist, former evangelical Christian, that most Christians exploit single, childless adults and assume that all single, childless adults ADORE children, are only good for free babysitting services. And that is all false.

While I am pro-life on abortion (I don’t support abortion), I do NOT enjoy being around babies, toddlers, and little kids and have no interest in babysitting them.

The false, condescending idea that all single, childless adults should babysit the children of married couples for free at any and all times and LOVE doing it!!, is very, very common among Baptist and Protestant Christians (I’ve never been Roman Catholic, so I cannot speak to that).

But often in their sermons, podcasts, books, or literature about singleness (if and when the Christian idiots bother to address adult singleness at all, because they usually ignore the topic),
they always advise single adults (especially women) that they should help their “married with children” couples in their lives (especially in their churches) by babysitting their children for free. How obnoxious.

But it’s a very common theme that turns up in Christian thinking.

Years ago, I did a blog post here about a totally obnoxious, hideous post published in “Christianity Today” magazine by a married-with-kids woman who started the editorial out nicely enough, when she talked about how churches treat single, childless adults like trash (yes, they do), but then that wonderful opening transitioned into a vomitous, disgusting explanation at how churches should value single, childless adults for all the free babysitting they can provide nuclear families.

Seriously.

Just when I thought I had found a wonderful essay uplifting and affirming single, childless adults, and acknowledging how horribly Christian culture mistreats single, childless adults, married bitch has to go and ruin the essay by making it into another gross, “single adults are only good and useful for the services they can provide to married parents, like babysit my kids for free, since I’m a mother to toddlers, I have no immediate family near me, and the parenting leaves me exhausted all day!” spiel.

This below sounds like the secular version of that.

And it’s so wrong. Damn it all, am I ever sick and tired of married- with- kids couples acting as though their single, childless friends have life so much easier then they do and that these single adult friends “owe” babysitting services to them. It pisses me off to no end. And I’m also effing sick of Christian culture for upholding this same singles-exploiting crap in their books, tweets, You Tube videos, sermons, etc.

(Link): I’m child-free by choice so no, I don’t want to look after your kids by Jana Hocking

By Jana Hocking, News.com.au (in New York Post)
Oct 13, 2022

Look, there’s no polite way to put this: Dear people with kids, look after your own damn children!

There, I said it.

This fury has been quietly raging in me for a couple of years now. It started when a few of my girlfriends started coupling off.

Sure, I’ve managed to come to peace with the fact that once my friends find their special person, I’m probably not going to see them for a couple of months. At least until they’ve come out of that honeymoon period.

I’ve never complained, because I’ve secretly hoped they would understand when I too, went through that phase. It’s exciting, and lusty and totally worth dumping your friends for a few months of lovey dovey ridiculousness.

But then something happens once they start having kids.

We singletons become less friends, and more servants to you and your children. Think I’m being extreme? I’m really not!

Dad Lets Daughter Drown in Dubai So She’s Not ‘Dishonored’ by Male Lifeguards

Dad Lets Daughter Drown in Dubai So She’s Not ‘Dishonored’ by Male Lifeguards

Before I even skim articles about this, I can only assume the father in question is a Muslim, though I can see some idiotic American Christian patriarchalists and complementarians finding this a tempting thing to do.

Muslims – like Christian complementarians – have some very backwards, sexist ideals about how they think women ought to live life and behave, especially in regards to clothing or whom they date and marry, or if they marry at all.

This news story was first published in 2015, but I didn’t see it until 2022, not that I remember.

(Link): Dubai Drowning: Dad Lets Daughter Die Rather Than Be Saved by ‘Strange’ Man

(Link): Man let daughter drown rather than have strange men touch her, Dubai police claim

(Link): Dad lets daughter drown in Dubai so she’s not ‘dishonored’ by male lifeguards’ touch: report

by David Harding
August 9, 2015

The father of a 20-year-old woman let her drown in Dubai rather than let lifeguards rescue her.

The father preferred she drown rather than be dishonored by getting touched by male rescuers, reports Emirates 24 News.

Lt. Col. Ahmed Burqibah, deputy director of the Dubai police’s search and rescue team, confirmed the incident happened.

Single Woman Who Plans Ahead Refuses to Change Airplane Seats So that Couples and Families Can Sit Together

Single Woman Who Plans Ahead Refuses to Change Airplane Seats So that Couples and Families Can Sit Together

I don’t blame her.

By the way. Marriage and parenthood do not make people more responsible, godly, loving, or ethical. Some married people are very entitled.

(Link): I absolutely REFUSE to switch my airline seat to help families and couples sit together – even when they start yelling, says single traveler JACI STEPHEN in a hilarious confession. So, do YOU sympathize with her?

August 25, 2022
By Jaci Stephen

Every summer, it happens: a family who hasn’t had the nous to book seats together on a plane asks a single passenger to move, in order to accommodate them.

This week, it’s Irish model and mother-of-three Vogue Williams, who publicly berated a fellow passenger for not wishing to give up his aisle seat and move to the window so that she could sit with her family. She was flying to London from Gibraltar, for goodness sake.

It’s a three-hour flight. Read a magazine. Order Duty Free. It’s not his fault that you’re so disorganized you can’t read a plane seat map.

I travel a lot. I have very specific seats I always choose (ask Virgin Atlantic; if I can’t get 8A, I’ll change planes). I like an aisle seat when traveling domestically because I need to use the rest room a lot.

I like to be at the front because I don’t like crowds and invariably need to disembark quickly. I spend weeks, sometimes months, making sure I have my favorite seat.

But I’ve lost count of the times I’ve been singled out as a single woman on her own and asked to change my seat. I suspect it’s because people think we’re going to be the softest touch. Wrong.