Married Christian Preacher and Mistress Try to Kill Wife – Married Christians not more stable, mature, or godly than Singles

Married Christian Preacher and Mistress Try to Kill Wife – Married Christians not more stable, mature, or godly than Singles

You should know the drill by now: one commonly held stereotype among married Christians is that single Christians, even those past the age of 30, are less godly and mature than married Christians.

Here’s another example of this not being the case: a married Christian preacher man who was not only having an affair, but he and his mistress tried to kill the guy’s wife.

The added bonus to this story is that some of the church members of this perverted rat bastard preacher are supporting him.

Pastor Indicted for Plotting To Poison Wife on Honduras Mission Trip

Married Christian Couples and Sexual Sin, More Examples – and Women and Porn

Married Christian Couples and Sexual Sin, Married Preachers and Sexual Abuse, More Examples – and Women and Porn

Many married Christians like to assume that married Christian couples are not engaging in sexual sin, that sexual sin is something that only impacts un-married Christians. I’ve blogged about these stereotypes before.

It is also assumed by conservative Christians, and this seems even more so of the males, that women (including Christian women), are not “visually oriented,” are not visually stimulated, do not view porn, and have little to no sex drive. These are other topics I’ve blogged about on a recurring basis as well.

Here are some more examples. The first is a link to a page that – and this is virtually unheard of – a Christian author and speaker who acknowledges that married Christian men are addicted to pornography, he holds the men (not their wives) accountable for their porn viewing, and also (but sadly only briefly) mentions that some Christian women view and enjoy pornography.

(Link 1): Southern Baptist Convention 2013: ‘One Million Men Porn Free’ Among Featured Programs at Annual Meeting

(Link 2): SEXUAL ABUSE IN SOCIAL CONTEXT: CLERGY AND OTHER PROFESSIONALS

Excerpts from Link 1,
“So. Baptist Convention 2013: ‘One Million Men Porn Free’ Among Featured Programs at Annual Meeting”

    By Melissa Barnhart , CP Reporter
    June 7, 2013|1:24 pm

    To combat the bondage and destruction of pornography that has seeped into millions of American households Pastor Jay Dennis of First Baptist Church at the Mall in Lakeland, Fla., created his own program, “One Million Men Porn Free.” He is hopeful that more pastors will fearlessly address the issue after they learn more about it at the Southern Baptist Convention’s annual meeting in Houston next week.

    … He’s [Dennis has] also completed two new books to help Christians deal with pornography, one for men and one for women. The women’s book will address 50 things Christian women need to know about pornography, and will teach them how to deal with their own struggles with porn.

    … In an interview with the CP earlier this year, Dennis emphasized that women should never feel at fault or responsible for their spouse or boyfriend’s addiction to pornography because of something they did or didn’t do.

    “They should not accept responsibility for his choice,” he said. “Yes, there are triggers and issues in men’s lives that help to create the atmosphere for them to be tempted; however, it’s still his responsibility to live a holy life. No wife or girlfriend should tolerate continued pornography use in her man’s life. There should be strong boundaries and consequences enforced. She should demand accountability on his part. She should be his strongest prayer warrior, but not become his accountability partner.”

    Continue reading “Married Christian Couples and Sexual Sin, More Examples – and Women and Porn”

Lists of More Married Preachers Arrested for Being Rapists or Child Molesters

Lists of More Married Preachers Arrested for Being Rapists or Child Molesters

Please see my post right before this one: Stereotypes Against Singles Refuted Series: Married IFB Preacher Arrested for Being Serial Rapist

As it turns out, the “Stuff Fundies Like” site has many, many posts about pervy married pastors. Here is one entry at that site with a long list of married Baptist preachers who raped or fondled grown men, little boys, little girls, and/or grown women:

(Link): Isolated Incidents (Completely Unrelated To All The Others Just Like It)

That page links to another with even more links to more news stories of pervy married preachers:

(Link): Blog On The Way (see the side bar on the right hand side of the page)

The lady who runs that blog had this to say to a commentator on the SFL site:
[Explaining that she focuses on child abuse cases among IFB churches]
As I wrote previously, if I documented all the adultery, adult porn, adult fornication, and gay flings among Fundamentalist preachers, I would [n]ever be able to hold down a job.

One heartbreaking, disgusting story featured on both blogs was this one, about a MARRIED BAPTIST COUPLE:

(Link): Joe and Evangeline Combs (from Blog on the Way)

    Pastor Joe Combs and his wife, Evangeline Combs, were former Hyles-Anderson faculty/staff members. Though both had been members of Hyles’ church in Hammond Indiana, at the time of their arrest, he was pastoring in Bristol, TN.

    Joe and Evangeline Lopez Combs adopted their daughter, whom they named Esther, from the Baptist Children’s Home and Family Ministries, Inc., in nearby Valparaiso, Indiana. The woman then known as Esther Combs has said that her first memory is of being thrown down the stairs in her high chair. As a child, she was beaten, thrown against the wall (knocking out two teeth, which Evangeline rammed back into their sockets, burned repeatedly and with different instruments, including hot oatmeal and curling irons), cut open by blows from her parents, which Evangeline sewed closed with a needle and thread, and turned into a serving girl for the rest of the family.

    Joe Combs used her for sex repeatedly, and Evangeline Combs became jealous of her and continued the torture, including pulling out pieces of her skin with pliers. Finally, as a young adult, Elsa (then Esther) drank antifreeze to kill herself….

    Eventually, the young woman found the strength to call law enforcement back, and an investigation was launched. It was quickly discovered that Elsa (then Esther) had no birth certificate, no school records, no medical records, and no Social Security number. While Joe and Evangeline and their natural children lied up and down, investigators searched neighborhood trash cans and dumping grounds to locate family photos that had disappeared….

Yes, not only were these two cretins married, claimed to be Baptist Christians, one worked as a preacher, but they also had children with each other, biological.

I’m sorry to keep repeating myself (and this is something I will say again in the future), but…

    Conservative Christians think that fatherhood or motherhood automatically make a Christian more responsible and godly – they do not.

    News reports such as these do not fit in with the paradigm held by a lot of conservative Christians, particularly Baptists (IFB and SBC and others) and conservative evangelicals that married people are more sexually pure, more morally upright, or more mature than never-married adults (or the divorced) over the age of 25 – 30.

    The truth is that married people (and parents) are no more godly, mature, responsible, or sexually upright than singles, or never married adults who have never had children.

— Related Posts / Indexes, This Blog —

Discrimination Against Singles (by Christians / churches)

Married People Are Not More Godly, Mature, or Sexually Pure Than Singles

Married Christian Couples Engage in Sexual Sin (News Story Examples)

Addressing the Christian False Teaching That You Have to be Sinless or Perfect or Else God Will Not Allow You To Marry
__________________________

Stereotypes Against Singles Refuted Series: Married IFB Preacher Arrested for Being Serial Rapist

Stereotypes Against Singles Refuted Series: Married IFB Preacher Arrested for Being Serial Rapist

Before I post about the serial rapist preacher, I do want to point out that some churches may be turning their noses up at singles for positions of leadership not always out of an outright bias against singles or singlenes, but that many churches, especially of the IFB bent apparently, are cheapskates: they want a married pastor because they get two slave laborers for the price of one, a husband and his wife.

Apparently, a preacher’s wife is expected to fulfill unpaid roles at many churches and in many denominations, such as providing free church child care; running and organizing church activities; and playing the piano during church services.

Some people at one forum were copying “Pastor Wanted” ads into one thread, and a few of the advertisments specifically required that the pastor applying have a wife, and the wife’s duties were spelled out, as “she must be a piano player,” etc.

The thing I find sad and funny is that these are not biblical standards in the first place, and some of the churches adhering to these standards claim to be “KJV Only” or to care deeply about “biblical standards.” The Bible does not say all preachers/ teachers have to be married, or have to have children, or that a pastor must have a wife who plays musical instruments.

Note also that a lot of this abuse against women (and young girls) by Christians are in churches that have a low view of the female gender, which they call “traditional gender roles” or “biblical gender complementarianism.” They adhere to very strict gender role perspectives. These types of churches/ Christians typically believe a woman is suitable for only being barefoot, pregnant, and in the kitchen. The males have very sexist views of women and usually blame females for being raped -much like Islamic honor killing culture.

Now, the star attraction of this post, the biggest reason you clicked the link to read this post:

Ah yes, another married person, and a pastor no less, was revealed to be less than saintly. The guy was arrested for being a serial rapist. He worked as a preacher. He hanged himself while in jail.

Mr. Pervy Pastor had two or three children, so he was a father, too, not just a husband.

And we know that conservative Christians think that fatherhood (or motherhood) automatically make a Christian more responsible and godly. *Snicker*
(See previous post on this blog: (Link): “Fatherhood Not Quite the Producer of Manly, Mature, Godly Men Some Conservative Christians Make It Out To Be”)

News reports such as these do not fit in with the paradigm held by a lot of conservative Christians, particularly Baptists (IFB and SBC and others) and conservative evangelicals that married people are more sexually pure, more morally upright, or more mature than never-married adults (or the divorced) over the age of 25 – 30.

The truth is that married people are no more godly, mature, responsible, or sexually upright than singles.

Most “sexual purity” sermons, books, and blogs about sexual sin assume that all singles, or at least those under the age of 30, are “randy” all the time and having sex with hundreds of partners per week, even though that is not true for all singles, especially not all Christian singles. (Note the ageism, not just the single stereotype in play: most churches don’t even stop to consider that singles over 30, 40 have sexual desire, or they don’t care.)

Here are some links and excerpts about the pervy rapist IFB preacher (even in death, his pastor friends, who knew the truth about the guy – that he was reportedly a rapist – gave him a glowing eulogy in one of their publications. Link to that below):

(Link): “Spinning Scandals Redux” (Deceased Pervy Pastor Known To Be Pervy By All Gets Glowing Obit from IFB Church Publication) (via “Stuff Fundies Like” site)

(Link): Pastor’s arrest, suicide stun church

(Link – from a blog): Two Sides of Matthew Jarrell

(Link): Former York County pastor’s arrest, travels spark nationwide sex-assault search (story dates from 2011)

    By TED CZECH
    Daily Record/Sunday News

    York, PA – In May 2007, the Rev. Matthew Dwayne Jarrell picked up a woman in Texas. She said he flashed a gold badge at her and told her if she did not do what he wanted, he would arrest her.

    Instead, San Antonio Police arrested him and charged him with sexual assault. In his vehicle they found two knives, a stun gun, leather gloves, video equipment and a machete.

    Last week, Jarrell, 41 — who at one time served as pastor of Old Paths Baptist Church in North Codorus Township — was again arrested on a sexual assault charge, this time in West Virginia.

    Police there say he offered a woman a ride home, drove to a secluded area and raped her.

    Continue reading “Stereotypes Against Singles Refuted Series: Married IFB Preacher Arrested for Being Serial Rapist”

The ol’ Christian myth that married couples are impervious to sexual sin but singles have lots of sexual sin

The ol’ Christian myth that married couples are impervious to sexual sin but singles have lots of sexual sin

I am hence forward going to occasionally copy certain stories to this blog: at times I see news stories or advice columns where a married person is arrested for crime, a woman writes for advice because her spouse is addicted to porn, is a drunkard, or is abusing her – bonus points if the people in these stories are self professing Christians – I may be including it on my blog.

I currently already have a few examples already (see this page)

One regularly sees married Christians discriminate against unmarried Christians. For example, most churches, which are run by married people, do not permit unmarried Christians to hold positions of importance, significance, or leadership precisely because of their singlehood.

One will regularly see Christian authors advise Christian unmarrieds that in order to get a spouse, they must achieve perfection and sinlessness in this lifetime.

Marriage is held out by some Christians to be a reward for Christians who have all their sh*t together. Never mind the Bible is clear that nobody has their sh*t together all the time in this lifetime. And never mind that I constantly see people way more messed up than me getting married all the time.

There is a stereotype held by most married people, including Christians, that unmarried people, even the ones over the age of 30, are immature, irresponsible, weird, or horny horn dogs who are more sexually active than a five dollar crack whore.

Further assumptions by Christians and Non Christians is that one must resemble Brad Pitt or Cindy Crawford if one wants a spouse, yet I frequently see obese males and females, ugly people, or baldlng guys get spouses.

I see beautiful models, actors, and rock singers who can’t find a date or stay married.

So I don’t think physical perfection (usually as in air-brushed to death) is a requisite for marriage. (See this page for more, and this page for more.)

The divorce rate in the USA is high for both Non Christians and Christians. So even though some of these people are tying the knot, they are not staying married. If the stereotype is that one must be perfect before meriting a spouse from God, shouldn’t these perfect people be able to stay married? How can perfect people divorce?

Then, there is the gross misperception that being married makes one completely immune from falling into sexual sin.

Here is an excerpt from a page about the impact of pornography on marriages:

(Link): Porn addiction destroys relationships, lives

    According to the Web site Divorcewizards.com, huge numbers of divorce lawyers report that pornography is a big issue in divorce these days, which it never was before the advent of the Internet.

There is a Bible verse that alludes to “get married if you are a horn dog” because it’s “better to marry than burn.”

However, being married does not prevent sexual sin.

Plenty of married people commit sexual sin – by viewing pornography; using prostitutes; fantasizing, during sex with their spouse, that their spouse is their favorite movie actor; married men look in lust at other women all the time; and on and on.

At the same time, many preachers, when they bother to address singlehood, tend to narrow their commentary to SEX.

I’m sure, Mr. Pastor, that you do have a lot of randy 16 year old teen males who frequently confess to you that they’re horn dogs, asking is masturbation a sin, or who confess to looking at “Penthouse.”

But you know, there are still about (my figure may be wrong, but I think it’s around) one third of adult Christians who have not had sex yet, and some are over the age of 30. Some unmarrieds may engage in fornication or struggle with the temptation, but not all.

I was at another blog a few days ago, where a Christian guy was discussing why he almost gave up on the Christian faith.

He got divorced. I think he was in his 30s or 40s when he got divorced. After his divorce, he sank into a deep depression. He confided in his deacons at his church about how depressed he was.

He got a phone call late one night from one of these deacon guys who said, “You must be struggling with pornography. TELL ME THE TRUTH ARE YOU LOOKING AT PORN?”

The guy said, “No.” (And he was not). The deacon guy responded, “You can tell me the truth. I bet you are looking at porn! It’s a temptation for a lot of guys!”

I read this guy’s testimony and was dumbfounded.

It is just assumed that because he is divorced now that he’s looking at porn? A lot of married Christian men are addicted to porn. (Some married Christian women have also admitted to having online porn or dirty movie addictions.)

Based on studies I have read, lots of people in marriages or dating relationships get involved in porn because they find sexual release over porn easier or more rewarding than with their partner ((Link): here is one page that discusses it).

The same studies and other studies say that porn usage changes the brain’s chemicals, so that the person craves more porn.

These studies say it gets to the the point where boyfriends and husbands PREFER air brushed, fake women in dirty sites and magazines to their flesh and blood partners.

It’s very insulting, ignorant, and unhelpful for Christians to continue to assume and uphold this stereotype that sexual sin is the snare or province of unmarried people only, when it appears to be a larger problem among the married.

Continue reading “The ol’ Christian myth that married couples are impervious to sexual sin but singles have lots of sexual sin”

Forget About Being ‘Equally Yoked’ – Article: ‘My Abusive ‘Christian’ Marriage’

Forget About Being ‘Equally Yoked’ – Article: ‘My Abusive ‘Christian’ Marriage’

When it comes to dating or marriage, Christian men are not necessarily a better catch than Non-Christians, as I’ve mentioned before in previous posts (such as (Link): this one).

A lot of Christian wives are physically or emotionally abused by their regular-church-attending Christian husbands.

Some are murdered by their preacher husbands.

If you run an internet search for the phrase “preacher murdered wife,” you will receive hundreds of news stories of, well, preachers who killed their wives.

Here is but one example of many that turned up on a search engine:

(Link): Preacher [Anthony Hopkins] killed wife, stuffed body in freezer, police say – CNN.com

You are just as better off marrying a Non-Christian guy as a Christian one.

I find most Non Christians easier to talk to – they are usually less judgemental. They are usually less likely to try to find a religious reason for your pain in life and blame you for it.

I’ve been friends and acquaintances with Non-Christian men that were very sweet guys. There is no advantage in marrying a Christian, and Christian women out-number the males, so your chances of finding a decent Christian guy past the age of 35 to marry are about nil.

I would assume that the Christian women who wrote this following page, like a lot of Christian women, probably prayed and asked God to direct the right guy her, and was trusting that this guy she met at a Christian college was “God’s choice” for her spouse.

What does it say about God’s character and His claims to provide for you (supposedly, if you ask God for bread, he will not give you a rock, as Christ said), and what does it say of God’s claim in the Word that he will answer your prayers, that he permits Christian women who are sincerely trusting him for a decent spouse, that he allows so many to wind up with abusive, dangerous bastards who are regular church goers, Bible readers, and who appear to be true Christians from all outward appearances? And then churches tell these poor women they are stuck with these abusive jack-asses until they die, which is insensitive and dangerous teaching, as some abusive men wind up killing their wives.

There’s a very twisted Christian culture in America that thinks divorce a greater sin than murder, apparently.

Also bear in mind that in much Christian advice in literature on marriage, it is commonly suggested that if you are still single past a certain age, it’s because there is something wrong with you.

That is, it is either implied or stated implicitly, in many Christian books and blogs, that marriage is a reward by God for Christians who reach some sort of level of spiritual perfection, so there must be something lacking in you, your character, or spirituality, that is preventing God from sending you a spouse. That abusive Christians are getting Christian spouses regularly is another point that easily dispells this myth that a Christian must be completely perfect and holy before he or she can merit a spouse.

Continue reading “Forget About Being ‘Equally Yoked’ – Article: ‘My Abusive ‘Christian’ Marriage’”