Why Are Conservatives Forcing Mothers From Their Kids? by M. Walther

Why Are Conservatives Forcing Mothers From Their Kids?

I am marginally still a social conservative, but as the months go by, I find myself drifting further and further away from it (though I’ll never be a liberal).

I was a stalwart social conservative for many years, but I’ve become more attuned to some of the hypocrisy or double standards contained within some socially conservative points or views.

One of the things I’ve struggled with the last couple of years is that Republicans (I’m an ex Republican) and social conservatives claim to be “pro-family,” yet, they often want to push through policies that cut off or limit families or kids or single mothers in some way.

Yes, I grasp that Republicans are for smaller government and want to cut expenses, but I don’t see how they can do that in the area of family benefits.

How can you claim to be “pro family” and to support children, and say that liberals are the evil anti-family types, when you keep promoting legislative material that wants to cut funding for families or kids? (Please see the “Related Posts” section at the bottom of this post for more.)

By the way. Many social conservatives and Christian conservatives fret, fret, fret that marriage and baby-making are on the decline in the United States – see for example links on my blog such as this one –

(Link):  Conservatives and Christians Fretting About U.S. Population Decline – We Must “Out-breed” Opponents Christian Host Says

And yet, they penalize women who do become pregnant and give birth. If you are a Republican, Christian, or social conservative who thinks family is great, motherhood is great, and that women should have more children, then why on earth would you penalize women who do in fact give birth?

Shouldn’t you be willing to help all mothers – whether single or not – more? I don’t understand the hatred for mothers who need a helping hand from the very people who bray on and on about how horrible it is today’s culture supposedly disregards motherhood and the nuclear family.

Many Republicans, social conservatives, and Christians I’ve seen since I’ve been a teenager reading political columns, have regularly argued that children are better off if their mothers stay at home, rather than dropping them off at a daycare to hold down an outside-the-home career.

But as this editorial by Walthers explains, some of the Republican reforms of welfare has forced women into working outside the home, thus leaving their children motherless during the day.

How is it out of one side of their mouths that conservatives are saying it’s bad for women who are mothers to work outside the home, but then forcing them into the position to do that very thing?

(Link): Why Are Conservatives Forcing Mothers From Their Kids? by Matthew Walther

What would happen, I wonder, if all the Republican state senators in the country woke up to find that all their wildest dreams had come true?

40 Percent of US Pregnancies Out of Wedlock, ‘Shotgun’ Marriages Have Plummeted: Report

40 Percent of US Pregnancies Out of Wedlock, ‘Shotgun’ Marriages Have Plummeted: Report

Some guy from “Institute of Family Studies” is quoted in this – I think that is the same organization that marriage-idolator and singleness-hater (Link): Bradford Wilcox works for, though I don’t see Wilcox himself mentioned in this. (Or maybe Bradford works for a similarly named organization, but not the same one? Hmm.)

One of the women quoted in this article talks about equality of the biological sexes as though equality for both is “bad.” She hissingly spit out the phrase “gender equality” as though the concept is terrible. I disagree.

As a celibate chick, I for one want, need, and appreciate gender equality.

My guess is that her outfit is a conservative Christian one that espouses the sexist “Gender Complementarian” view, which, unfortunately, confuses equality for women with being the same thing as “secular liberal feminism,” when the two are not necessarily the same thing. (I believe in equality for women, but I am not a liberal feminist.)

The last part of the article mentions that young people today are having sex more often, which is (Link): disputed by other articles I’ve seen where both liberals and oddly, conservatives, are freaking out because adult singles (young ones) are NOT having sex – they are celibate.

More commentary is below this link with excerpt:

(Link): 40 Percent of US Pregnancies Out of Wedlock, ‘Shotgun’ Marriages Have Plummeted: Report

Excerpt:

A new Senate report is highlighting the effects of unwed childbearing and family breakdown as approximately 40 percent of births in the United States now occur outside of wedlock. And what are known as “shotgun” marriages are largely a thing of the past.

The sharp rise in nonmarital births is a result of a complex mixture of moral, behavioral, and social changes given how the Sexual Revolution overhauled the American landscape, noted Robert VerBruggen, deputy managing editor of National Review, writing on the blog of the Institute for Family Studies Monday. Two out of every five pregnancies in the United States now occur outside of wedlock.

The Biggest Loser in the Alabama Election – Christian Witness by M Galli

The Biggest Loser in the Alabama Election – Christian Witness by M Galli

I thought this was a pretty good editorial – not that I’m on board with 100% of it, but with maybe 98% or 99%. I’ve written a few similar to it on this blog, such as (Link): this one.

Both the right wing and the left wing get stuff wrong, but both sides are usually pretty loathe to admit it. The left and right wing (the extremes on both sides) are flip sides of the same exact coin, another fact they don’t like to admit.

FWIW, I was a Republican for many, many years, and I’m conservative to this day, though no longer a Republican, and I was really put off by the number of gung-ho Republicans on my Twitter who were stumping for this Moore guy (though I said nothing to them about it; I scrolled by their pro-Moore tweets without saying a thing to them about any of this).

They don’t care that he was possibly a child-predator, they’d rather have a sexual pervert in Congress than a Democrat.

I’m not a Democrat fan myself, but as for me, I’d take the Democrat politician over the kid-diddling Republican any day of the week, thank you. I find Democratic politics ten times less objectionable and odious than I do a 32 year old man preying on 13 year old girls.

If I remember right, Moore lost to the Democrat and refused to concede defeat for a day or so after the election results were announced. I still believe the women who stepped forward to say Moore tried to fondle or date them when they were teens.

I have no idea how some of the Trump-bots I follow on Twitter – though they may be nice people in other ways – were able to so vehemently support a guy who was so obviously guilty of being a cradle-robber. But day after day, I saw them tweet content in support of Moore and content questioning the women victims who stepped forward to tell their stories.

But your average liberal Democrat can be just as blind to defects in their own perverted, sexist political candidates as well.

(Link): The Biggest Loser in the Alabama Election – Christian Witness by M Galli

Excerpts:

No matter the outcome of today’s special election in Alabama for a coveted US Senate seat, there is already one loser: Christian faith. When it comes to either matters of life and death or personal commitments of the human heart, no one will believe a word we say, perhaps for a generation. Christianity’s integrity is severely tarnished.

The race between Republican candidate Roy Moore and Democratic candidate Doug Jones has only put an exclamation point on a problem that has been festering for a year and a half—ever since a core of strident conservative Christians began to cheer for Donald Trump without qualification and a chorus of other believers decried that support as immoral.

The Christian leaders who have excused, ignored, or justified his unscrupulous behavior and his indecent rhetoric have only given credence to their critics who accuse them of hypocrisy.

Conservative Activist Perkins Reportedly Covered Up Sexual Assault Against Teenager

Conservative Activist Perkins Reportedly Covered Up Sexual Assault Against Teenager

(Link): Conservative Activist Perkins Reportedly Covered Up Sexual Assault Against Teenager

by Daniel Politi

The head of the Family Research Council allegedly kept quiet about claims that an Ohio Republican lawmaker assaulted a teenage boy in a hotel two years ago. Perkins was told that then-candidate for the Ohio legislature Wesley Goodman’s allegedly fondled a supporter’s son during a conference in Washington, (Link): according to the Washington Post.

“If we endorse these types of individuals, then it would seem our whole weekend together was nothing more than a charade,” the boy’s stepfather wrote to Perkins, head of the Council for National Policy, to demand action. Perkins replied that “this will not be ignored nor swept aside” but he did say the issue would be “dealt … with prudence.”

The apparent actions by Goodman apparently didn’t come as a surprise to Perkins who referred to “similar incidents” in a letter. Perkins called on Goodman to step down from the race, but he continued and eventually won a seat in the legislature in November.

Complementarian Christians Do Not Think Women are of Equal Worth to Men – Case 2 – Christian Men Mocking the “Me Too” Sexual Assault and Harassment Twitter Tag and Bob Who Detracts (Part 1.3)

Complementarian Christians Do Not Think Women are of Equal Worth to Men – Case 2 – Christian Men Mocking the “Me Too” Sexual Assault and Harassment Twitter Tag and Bob Who Detracts (Part 1.3)

Part 1 | Part 2 | (Part 3)

Regarding the Tweets by a person named Bob‏ (Twitter handle: @JustBobThx) to Dee.

You can view several Tweets that Bob sent to Dee under Dee’s first Tweet (Link): here. I will be referring to those tweets through the remainder of the post.

In the midst of conservative, complementarian Christian men, such as (Link): Tim the Bible Thumping Wing Nut (his screen name) and Fred Butler mocking women sexual harassment and sexual abuse victims by way of the Twitter hash tag “Me Too,” and and (Link): Ricky Masuer  defending said aforementioned mockers, Bob jumped in to dress down Dee, who was responding to the sexist tweets.

Here is a text copy of one of his tweets:

Replying to @wartwatch (“wartwatch” is Dee) @JeffTheGK (JeffTheGK has been on Dee’s side in this debate)

Bob said:

Is that so. Here’s [he includes screen captures of other people’s tweets] 1 of ur many pro- LGBT buddies in ur “we stand against abuse” club. Waiting 4 ur outrage. Better get writing a blog 2 warn ppl. This is degrading, disgusting, & vile. Ur CONSTANTLY telling GOBC 2 call out their own-so go ahead & do it urself. @Biblethumpingwi ///

Bob is quite simply trying to change the subject.

(Bob later gripes and complains about gender egalitarian Jory Michah and rants about abortion).

The issue that initiated all this dialog was (Link): Tim (aka “Bible Thumping Wing Nut”) ridiculing the sexual harassment or sexual assault of women via the “Me Too” twitter tag.

The subject was not about LGBT topics or Christian gender egalitarian Jory Michah.

Bob, because he is sexist but probably thinks he’s NOT sexist, needs to read my (Link): Post 2 about Rick Mauser, as well, at least the portions of that post under the headings of

• BIBLICAL PATRIARCHY
• CHRISTIANS SEXUALIZE GIRLS AND WOMEN, NOT JUST SECULAR CULTURE
• SEXISM EXAMPLES
• SEXISM IN THE FORM OF UNCONSCIOUS BIAS

My Views

I have been a conservative over the duration of my life.

I have been pro-life on abortion, and I always voted Republican (though I am no longer Republican. In the last few years, I have come to realize that the Republican Party is either similar to the Democratic Party in some ways, or it has its own set of flaws).

As far as LGBT issues are concerned: I believe the Bible says that homosexual behavior is sinful, but, I’m rather “libertarian” on the topic – if two adults of the same gender want to get it on, it’s not hurting me, so I do not care what they do.

However, I do not generally support liberal, social justice warriors who want to do things such as sue Christian bakers out of business for refusing to bake wedding cakes for homosexual weddings. (I am open to being persuaded otherwise on this topic.)

I do not support things such as LGBT people bullying porn actress women (Link): who refuse to have sex with homosexual men. Liberals definitely get some things wrong.

I am definitely not a liberal.

BOB’S SEXISM AND “PASTRIX”

Bob is sexist.

Bob uses the sexist derogatory term “Pastrix” (which I believe was coined by sexist radio Christian host Chris Rosebrough) to refer to women pastors, or to women who write blog posts about theology.

(I refer you again to (Link): Bob’s posts in this Twitter thread to see for yourself).

If you want to have a respectful dialog with someone on the subject of whether women should be allowed to be preachers in churches or not, that’s all fine and good, but there is no reason to use sexist, disrespectful terms such as “Pastrix” in the process. 

Complementarian Christians Do Not Think Women are of Equal Worth to Men – Case 1 – Married, Family Values Ralph Shortey’s Sandwich Shirt

Complementarian Christians Do Not Think Women are of Equal Worth to Men – Case 1 – Married, Family Values Ralph Shortey’s Sandwich Shirt

My Twitter friend Teresa sent this my way:

(Link):  VIDEO: Republican politician Ralph Shortey who hired an underage male prostitute greeted cops in a novelty Bible verse T-shirt – via Twitchy

The video the page is mentioning shows Shortey answering the cop’s knock on his door, where he’s wearing a t-shirt that says ‘Ephesians 5:22‘ on it, there’s a drawing of a sandwich under it, and under that,  the shirt also says, “Now go make me a sandwich.”

According to the articles, Shortey was a family values politician, and he is married with four children.

Shortey was caught by cops with an underage male prostitute in his hotel room, along with a bottle of lotion, open box of condoms, and sex texts to the boy on his electronic devices.

After I copy these other links to news articles about it, I will explain what this has to do with complementarianism:

(Link):  Oklahoma police release body cam footage of former state senator caught with underage male

(Link): Bodycam footage shows moment Republican pol was busted in motel room with 17-year-old boy

Bodycam footage from Oklahoma police shows the moment they found a Republican state senator in a motel room with a 17-year-old boy.

Two-term state senator Ralph Shortey, 35, pleaded guilty to a federal charge of child sex trafficking last week after an investigation found the married father of four offered a teenage boy cash in exchange for “sexual stuff.”

 [Photo caption on the page]:
Shortey answered the motel room door wearing a T-shirt citing the Bible verse Ephesians 5:22 — which urges wives to submit to their husbands — with the words “now go make me a sandwich” emblazoned below.(MOORE POLICE DEPARTMENT)

…Shortey, who served as Trump’s Oklahoma campaign chair, was also wearing a T-shirt citing the Bible verse Ephesians 5:22 — which urges wives to submit to their husbands — with the words, “now go make me a sandwich” emblazoned beneath.

COMPLEMENTARIANS SAY WOMEN ARE EQUAL IN WORTH NOT IN ROLE

If you grew up complementarian (as I did (Link): but am no longer), you should be well aware that their motto is that they think that “women are equal in value or worth to men, but not in role.”

That motto is how they attempt to dodge the obviously unfair and sexist church rules where they do things such as forbid women to preach or lead in churches or in marriages.

But dang if they don’t try really, super hard to convince everyone who doubts their sincerity of supporting women that they are not sexist.

Complementarians reassure every one constantly that they don’t think women are below men, or believe sexist stuff like women are dumber than men, or women only exist to do stereotypical things for men, like be barefoot, pregnant, in the kitchen making sandwiches.

But isn’t in interesting that in spite of their insistence to the contrary, that the men in the complementarian, conservative movement, at the end of the day, find it appropriate or cute to wear a shirt with a sexist take on (Link): Ephesians 5:22 on it?

Complementarians put a spin on their sexist biblical interpretation to try to convince the public, or women taught to live under this garbage, that no, they’re not saying that they think women are second class citizens who are “second banana” to men, intended by God to be nothing but personal servants to men to engage in housework.

Complementarian actions, however, do not match their rhetoric.

Complementarians may say they think women are of “equal worth” to men, but here we have a man, who’d I’d bet anything is complementarian, thinking it’s funny to wear a t-shirt with a sexist twist of Ephesians 5: 22 upon it – proof that complementarians really do not believe their own advertising of “equal in worth, just not in role.”

If complementarians really and truly believe that women are equal to men in worth to God, why do we find them making sexist, degrading Ephesians 5:22 shirts, selling such shirts, or wearing them?

If complementarians want to explain that shirt is not representative of their position, then how is it that the t-shirt maker and the man who wore the shirt, understand their interpretation of Ephesians 5:22 in such a manner? I think it’s because it’s plain and obvious to anyone that complementarian interpretation of the Bible is in fact sexist.

You have to ask yourself, if you are a complementarian, how is it that any man would take the complementarian interpretation of a verse such as Ephesians 5:22 and think it’s acceptable to slap a drawing of a sandwich on it along with “now go make me a sandwich.”

If your complementarian message consists of the point that women are equal in worth to men, then I would assume I could expect to see this man wearing a shirt saying more along the lines of,  “Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her.” But he is not wearing a shirt with such a message of affirmation of the female biological sex…

Because complementarianism, in spite of all it’s “girl power” mottos to the contrary, is sexist and comes across as sexist to the average person.

A Response to the Editorial “America Needs a New Sexual Revolution” by Melissa Mackenzie

A Response to the Editorial “America Needs a New Sexual Revolution” by Melissa Mackenzie

I guess Ms. Mackenzie drank from the Gender Complementarian Kool-Aid, or something like it.

The complementarian world is a world in which one is taught there are only two options concerning women (I know this because (Link): I used to be one myself for many years):

-either be and live as a traditional values person who believes all women are, or should be, passive, dainty, and delicate and should marry young and have children,
or,
-be and live as a bra-burning, man-hating, liberal feminist.

I present a third option, which is hated by some liberals (when I bring it to their attention), and it’s an option that is never even considered by other conservatives, which is as follows:
I am a right wing woman who rejects sexism, and finds fault in both the left and right wing on some women’s issues, but who also sees some merit to some arguments on either side, depending on the topic.

In this blog post, I am commenting upon this editorial on The American Spectator:

 (Link): America Needs a New Sexual Revolution by Melissa Mackenzie

A foundation of the opening of this editorial rests upon a presupposition that, and to paraphrase my understanding of the author’s perspective:

“Everything that is wrong today in regards to culture, sex, marriage, dating, and women, is liberal, secular, FEMINISM, and feminism is EVIL! One can directly trace the downfall of American sexual morality to the feminism of the 1960s!!”

Such thinking is a common trope in about every right wing publication I’ve ever read on these subjects.

To that point, about feminism supposedly being to blame for all of society’s marital or sexual problems, I would ask you to read this off-site post, which is by a Christian (not by a left wing, secular feminist):

(Link): Perhaps Feminism Is Not The Enemy

What I will do here is provide excerpts by MacKenzie then, under her comments, offer my thoughts.

MacKenzie writes (source again):

There’s a coarsening of relationships between men and women, parents and children, and people with each other.

// end MacKenzie quotes ///

I don’t think secular, left wing feminism was the start of the “coarsening of relationships between men and women” but is a response to it.

One can read the Old Testament of the Bible, which dates back several thousand years, to see men raping their own sisters, owning harems of women (in some cases, women having no choice but to be in a harem, or to be a concubine), and men committing adultery. There was no 1960s, American- style feminism around in Biblical days.

An Editorial That Misses the Mark: More Women Have Joyless Sex Than You Think by Amy Wax

An Editorial That Misses the Mark: More Women Have Joyless Sex Than You Think by Amy Wax

I saw this really long article on The American Conservative site – the link to it, “Women Having Joyless Sex” is towards the bottom.

Here is the comment I left on their page, though I don’t see it published (okay, I later broke up my response in chunks, and their site says this is in moderation):

What a long-winded article. I read quite a bit of it but grew bored and skimmed over the remaining.

Anyway – towards the end of it, the author seems to be suggesting that it’s okay, good, or acceptable that women in stable, committed relationships (such as marriage) have sex when they don’t really want to.

I somehow doubt we’d see the reverse sentiment if the genders were swapped out.

I cannot imagine any writer, male or female, lecturing husbands that they should go ahead and have sex with their wife, even if they, the husband, is not in the mood for it, or, to persist in having bad or unsatisfying sex with their wives.

Too bad that too many people keep sort of defending or promoting this idea that women cannot or should not decide for themselves what to do with their bodies or their own sexuality.

Lastly, please, please do not quote Mark Regnerus, as you did in this essay above.

Regnerus is a Christian sociologist who has (Link): actually made the perverted argument in some of his online essays (which were repudiated by other Christians) that he thinks because marriage rates are declining, that Christian single women should go ahead and marry Christian men who are known porn users or known porn addicts.

There are a lot of Christian single women for whom a man viewing porn is a deal breaker, as is their right.

Women get to choose what they will and will not accept in a man they date or marry – but Regnerus, like a lot of my fellow conservatives – is so obsessed with promoting marriage that he’s turned marriage into an idol and will say or do anything to pressure or guilt trip single adults into marrying anyone.

Regnerus and other Christians mistakenly act as though singleness is a disease that needs to be cured.
This is in spite of the fact that the Bible says God honors singleness (see 1 Corinthians chapter 7).

God does not command every one marry, or say that he, God, views singleness as being “less than” marriage.

Nor does God prescribe marriage as a “cure all” that will “fix” a society, contrary to Mark Regnerus, Al Mohler, and other Christians who have deified marriage and denigrated singleness.

// end my comment on their page

As I said, this is a very long editorial. I skimmed most of it.

There were a few parts I may have agreed with, but I did not agree with all points:

(Link): More Women Have Joyless Sex Than You Think by Amy L. Wax

Excerpts:

….The problem might be sex without desire, or it might not. Even if the sex feels libidinous, the lack of emotional content can still make hooking up distressing.

If women are having sex that doesn’t bring much pleasure, or that is not the result of “ordinary motives” or “ordinary feelings” — whatever those might be— we shouldn’t be surprised that the rhetoric of sexual assault on campus is a confusing mash-up of labels and charges that are almost impossible to keep straight.

Some social conventions do better than others at protecting women from sex they don’t desire and really don’t enjoy.

One might take the position—as I do—that society and the campus culture currently do too little in this regard, especially for adolescents and young women, while at the same time recognizing that completely eliminating sex without desire from all women’s lives is not only impossible, but might sometimes come at too great a price.

Surely there are better and worse such encounters, and better and worse societies for minimizing the harms that can flow to women from this experience.

Some of the middle-aged women in The Bitch is Back tell us they don’t experience a sexual frisson from every intimate encounter in their lives.

The same seems to go for the overwhelmed young mothers who complain on the Internet.

Although these women may not feel sexual excitement at the moment, they sometimes do it anyway.

Unlike the girls who hook up, they do it for love, or out of gratitude, or as a gift, or to preserve something enduring, lasting, and valuable. In many cases it is a marriage that they seek to preserve, a mostly loving relationship that is central to their lives.

But when college women play the hook-up game, what are they trying to preserve or achieve?

They want male company and attention, and that’s the only way to get it. It really shouldn’t be that way.

/// end excerpts

Her editorial is extremely long, and I found it mind-numbingly boring.

You can click through using the link above to read the entire thing should you wish.

She seems to think women in marriages have to or should put up with lousy sex, and that’s okay, because it helps to preserve a marriage or some such nonsense, and she further feels that crappy, unrewarding sex for a married woman is somehow morally superior or something as compared to teen girls who have crappy, unrewarding sex with campus boys. I don’t agree. I think all of that is equally bad.

In trying to argue against casual sex (“hook up culture”) my fellow conservatives manage to deliver some sexist assumptions about women and dismal views about adult singleness, none of which I find acceptable.

Trying to argue your way against false rape charges or hook up culture should not be done in such a way you’re also arguing that it’s acceptable for women to have to feel they must put up with crappy marital sex, or that being married is a preferable state of life (to imply in the reverse that singleness is for losers, or worse for culture).

---

Related Posts:

(Link): Another Study Shows That ‘Hookup Culture’ Is a Myth

(Link):  Male Christian Researcher Mark Regnerus Believes Single Christian Women Should Marry Male Christian Porn Addicts – another Christian betrayal of sexual ethics and more evidence of Christians who do make an idol out of marriage

(Link): Men Aren’t Entitled to Sex: Crybaby Guy Throws Racist Fit at Woman Who Politely Refuses to Hook up by R K Bussel

(Link):  Woman Says She Refuses to Hook-up with Men ‘For Fun’ – Says Most Men She’s Met Are Willing to Wait

(Link):   Male Entitlement In Dating and In Marriage  – Single Christian Men Who Feel Entitled – Part 1

(Link): ‘It’s Not Me, It’s You’: A Loser’s Guide to Dealing with Rejection by The Guyliner

Married, Republican Pro-Life Politician Allegedly Asked His Pregnant Mistress to Get an Abortion

Married, Republican Pro-Life Politician Allegedly Asked His Pregnant Mistress to Get an Abortion

It was this sort of thing that drove me from the Republican Party – the worship of family values but the failure to live up to them. Though (caveat or disclaimer!) I have to say the GOP at least has standards in the first place, which is a step above the liberal Democrats, who advocate hedonism.

(Link): Anti-abortion Rep. Tim Murphy resigns after report he asked lover to end pregnancy

(Link): Anti-abortion Rep. Tim Murphy, who reportedly urged abortion, resigns from Congress 

(Link): Report: Anti-abortion US rep asked girlfriend to get one

(Link): Easy abortion is a winner for sleazy men

….But the truth is that men benefit from the easy availability of abortion at least as much — if not more — than women.

Which is one reason the recently departed Hugh Hefner was such a big proponent. Playboy published its first article supporting the legalization of abortion in 1965 and even listed the numbers of hotlines where women could obtain them — even before Roe v. Wade.

The audience for this information was clearly not women who were reading Playboy articles but men who had, as they used to say, gotten women in trouble.

Author Claims Andrea Tantaros’ Book About How Feminism ‘Made Women Miserable’ Was Ghostwritten by a Man

Author Claims Andrea Tantaros’ Book About How Feminism ‘Made Women Miserable’ Was Ghostwritten by a Man

Judge Won’t Let Andrea Tantaros Keep Secret Her Feminism Book Was Ghostwritten By Man

I wrote a review (or critique) of this book a few months ago. In my review, I noted it was a variation on the old conservative saw to blame feminism for why single women are having a difficult time getting dates or getting married.

I disagree. I lived life as a June Cleaver house-wife type (meaning, though I was single, I very docile, passive, sweet, ladylike) for decades, and I never got married.

Being a conservative ideal of a woman is not a guarantee you’re going to get dates or get married, so my fellow conservatives can kindly stop promoting that view.

So, as it turns out, a man – yes, a man – wrote the “anti feminist” book with Tantaros’ name on it, telling women if they want to get a man and keep one, to ditch their independence, their agency, and behave like doormats.

(Link):  Judge Will Not Allow Former Fox News Host to Conceal Identity of Her Feminism-Bashing Book’s Male Ghostwriter

(Link): Author Claims Andrea Tantaros’ Book About How Feminism ‘Made Women Miserable” Was Ghostwritten by a Man

Excerpts

Former Fox News starlet Andrea Tantaros made a name of herself in the conservative echelons of cable news punditry by (Link): blaming feminists for everything from the decline of marriage to statutory rape.

So when her book Tied Up in Knots: How Getting What We Wanted Made Women Miserable was released last year it seemed par for the course that she would dedicate hundreds of pages to how she— a capable, self-sufficient, feminine anti-feminist— was so much better off than her feminist counterparts.

How Single Men and Women are Making Politics More Extreme by Ed West

How Single Men and Women are Making Politics More Extreme

I’m a single woman, but I’ve never been liberal.

(Link): How Single Men and Women are Making Politics More Extreme

….The more freedom we have, the more there will be very feminine and masculine subcultures too, and this might explain a great deal of recent political developments — in particular the campus identity politics movement and the alt-right.

The former is heavily female, while the latter is overwhelmingly male — in fact, not just male, but populated by men who seem to have difficulties with women.

…Single women tend to be politically very liberal, voting for the Democrats in huge numbers….

Generally speaking, the culture wars are far more intense between women because women have to make more sacrifices — whether children or career — and this inevitably influences their worldview.

Twisted Dad Allegedly Killed Son Who Found His ‘Disgusting’ Fetish Photos

Twisted Dad Allegedly Killed Son Who Found His ‘Disgusting’ Fetish Photos

Christians and conservative think tanks really need to stop promoting this idea that parenthood or marriage are necessary to make a person mature, loving, or godly, or that either one can “fix” culture.

I’m a conservative, but I realize it’s un-biblical and wrong for other conservatives to keep hyping parenthood and marriage as they do.

Here’s another example where parenthood and marriage did not make a person loving, godly, responsible, or mature:

(Link): Son Murdered for Taunting Diaper-Wearing Dad, Prosecutors Say

(Link): Father ‘killed his son, 13, after the boy found and mocked compromising photos of him eating feces from a diaper he was wearing and posing in women’s clothes with makeup on’

In 2015, the teenager’s skull was found just 1.5 miles away from his dad’s home

(Link): Twisted Dad Allegedly Killed Son Who Found His ‘Disgusting’ Fetish Photos

By Lia Eustachewich
July 26, 2017

A twisted Colorado father was driven to allegedly murder his son when the teen discovered “disgusting” photos of the deviant dad eating feces from a diaper while dressed in women’s clothes, according to reports.

Mark Redwine allegedly flew into a rage when his 13-year-old son, Dylan, and his older brother Cory unearthed the embarrassing snaps, ABC 7 in Denver reported.

Educated Women Are Freezing Eggs Because Of “Missing Men”

Educated Women Are Freezing Eggs Because Of “Missing Men”

(Link): Educated Women Are Freezing Eggs Because Of”Missing Men“

Excerpt:

By Lauren Tousignant

July 5, 2017

Women with master’s degrees and doctorates are freezing their eggs because there are not enough educated men in the world, according to a new study.

Researchers interviewed 150 women who were having their eggs frozen at eight clinics in the US and Israel between June 2014 and August 2016. More than 80 percent of participants had college degrees.

The Left Can Be Just as Bad as the Right – The SCCL Pence Post

The Left Can Be Just as Bad as the Right – The SCCL Pence Post

(June 7, 2017 edit farther below –
Drury posted a link to this at her SCCL group. Most of her readers have missed the point of the post. Some of them incorrectly assume I am an evangelical, that I voted for Trump, or am a member of the GOP – I am not.

This post has been modified several times to add new information

Some of the more frequent criticisms I’ve received in regards to this post I have addressed in edits below)

Over at Liberal- to Ex- Christian (and sometimes atheist) SCCL Facebook group, Stephanie Drury linked to an editorial (her link),

“I Was Trained for the Culture Wars in Home School, Awaiting Someone Like Mike Pence as a Messiah”

“”Christofascists have been wanting someone like Pence in the White House and, until now, didn’t have a way to get one in.”

Posted by Kieryn Darkwater on January 26, 2017
–end quote–

My main point is that groups such as Drury’s, many left wingers, many Ex Christians, are just as bad as those they criticize.

Depending on the topic, they can be just as hateful, rude, or harbor as many blind spots and double standards as those they criticize, whether we’re talking about Republicans, conservative Christians, and Donald Trump (or V.P. Pence) or LGBT causes, or abortion, or whatever the issue.

By the way – Drury’s SCCL Facebook group has largely nose-dived into being an anti-Trump type group over the last few months.

She used to cover spiritual abuse by churches and the like, but politics seem to be over-taking her group a bit.

It seems like every 4th to 5th post at the SCCL group pertains to criticizing Trump.

Fellow Conservatives Politicizing Mother’s Day, Unfortunately, and Mocking Those Who Find the Holiday Painful

Fellow Conservatives Politicizing Mother’s Day, Unfortunately, and Mocking Those Who Find the Holiday Painful

I am right wing, as you know if you’ve been to my blog before, and I explain this on my blog’s About page.

I don’t have a problem with marriage, motherhood, or women who chose to marry and have children. My values are pretty much still traditional in nature.

My mother died several years ago, and for years afterwards, Mother’s Day was a very hard day for me to get through.

Now, even though I’m over my mother’s death, that doesn’t mean I lack compassion for those who still find it a hard holiday to navigate, whether it’s because their mother died, they are infertile, or whatever the reason.

Hence, I am not going to say, “It’s easy for me to deal with Mother’s Day now in spite of my loss, so others out there who object to it should just suck up their pain and get over it, too.”

That’s a very callous attitude to have, and I was still being confronted with such an attitude even within the first few years after my Mom’s passing, when my grief was at its deepest.

While I do not have a problem with traditional values, marriage, and motherhood,  I do have a very large issue with conservatives who place an over-emphasis upon those things.

And my fellow conservatives very much do in fact put way too much emphasis upon those things, to the point, some have turned the nuclear family, motherhood, children, or marriage into idols.

Jesus Christ taught that nobody was to love their mother, children, or other family more than Himself (see Matthew 10:37), but I see Christians violate this teaching of Christ’s constantly.

I was at a right wing political site, and one of the bloggers there chose to feature a link to an editorial by a Christian woman who who was merely seeking to remind others of how painful Mother’s Day can be for many people – especially for women who experienced loss, such as women with deceased mothers, women who have had miscarriages, and so forth.

Dog Saves Boy (Aged 9) After Kid’s Mother Tries to Drown Him In River – Parenthood Does Not Make People More Mature, Loving, or Moral

Dog Saves Boy Aged 9 After Kid’s Mother Tries to Drown Him In River – Parenthood Does Not Make People More Mature, Loving, or Moral

Well looky here. This dog makes a better “parent,” or guardian, than the kid’s own parent!

Some Christians and my fellow conservatives like to go on and on about how marriage and parenthood are supposedly necessary to make a person more godly, mature, ethical, responsible, and loving – but this is not so.

I have many examples of my blog of married people and/or parents who are arrested or get into trouble for things ranging from, but not limited to, having affairs, buying child pornography, having sex with animals, raping their own children, etc (view those examples (Link): here and (Link): here).

Conservatives need to learn and remember that the Bible itself says that….

-a person being single and celibate is preferable to being married (start with 1 Corinthians 7),

-the Bible does NOT say that God has “called” anyone to be single (being single is a choice, or a matter of circumstance, it’s not based on divine providence),

-nor does the Bible say that (Link): only a “few will be single,”

-nor does the Bible ever try to promote marriage by denigrating singleness!

And to my fellow pro-lifers out there: STOP disparaging animal welfare or people who care about animal welfare!

Stop griping and complaining that people care more about animals than they do human babies – so what if they do? It’s a good thing if people support animal welfare, even if they are pro-choice, uncaring, or ambivalent on the abortion topic.

People should sure as hell NOT support animal cruelty or animal abuse, REGARDLESS of where they stand on other topics such as abortion or whatever else.

But secondly, it’s (Link): not a mutually exclusive proposition – a person can be anti-abortion as well as being anti-animal abuse!

(Link): Pitbull saves boy, 9, after ‘mum tries to drown him in river’ by T. Mann

March 4, 2017

The mother, who cannot be named for legal reasons, is said to have told a friend, ‘I have to drown my babies’ before taking them to the Murray River, in New South Wales, Australia.

The 27-year-old then allegedly took her eldest son, 9, into the river and held his head under the water while her five-year-old son looked on and screamed, Bendigo Magistrates heard.

Her younger son, who has a different father to his brother, was then allegedly brought into the water.

A distressed emergency service worker told the Riverine Herald: ‘He was so little, it was awful, the whole thing has been awful, and everyone here is devastated,” he said.

‘All of us have been hit so hard.’

But his elder brother managed to survive after a dog intervened and attacked the woman, the Herald Sun reports.

Pat Robertson Basically Tells Woman Married to Lazy, Dead Beet, Idiot, Jerk-Face Man That Her Only Option is Separation (Not Divorce)

(The 700 Club episode I am discussing in this post: Air date Feb 21, 2017)

Women of America are STILL writing Pat Robertson for relationship advice. A phenomenon which prompted me to write this months ago:

(Link):  Women: Stop Asking Pat Robertson For Romantic Relationship Advice – Whether You Are Divorced or Single 

For the love of pickles, people of America, stop sending this guy your questions about dating, love, marriage, and divorce! Anyway.

Regarding the first letter on the video: Contra Pat Robertson, the Bible does NOT teach that the “husband is the head of the household.”

Don’t believe me? Then please check out the resources at (Link): this site, (Link): this site, or (Link): this site

But I am writing this post in regards to the second or third letter on this video (embedded below; Link to Video, You Tube).

Additional commentary by me is below this letter:

[Dear Pat]

My husband and I have been married for 21 years but have been together for 28.

We have two children, ages 26 and 25. Our 25 year old son is autistic and mentally disabled and needs constant care.

I alone care for our son.

My husband does not work or help in anyway. I struggle to make ends meet.

Online Dating Soared by 35 Percent After Trump Was Elected – Also: Dating Site For Trump Supporters

Online Dating Soared by 35 Percent After Trump Was Elected – Also: Dating Site For Trump Supporters

(Link):   Make Dating Great Again: Trump Singles matchmaking site is for President-elect  [Trump] supporters only 

According to this article (next one below), most Democrats would be unwilling to date Republicans.

How stupid. You should be able to look past the person’s political views, unless they are obnoxious about them and insult you over yours or something like that.

(I’m a right winger but would feel perfectly fine dating a left wing guy, so long as he’s not a rude jackass towards me over our political differences.

And, by the way, as a right wing woman, I’d like to say, right wing men should NOT be sending insulting messages to left wing women on dating sites over their political views, as this site says some men are – that is so very rude).

(Link): Online Dating Soared by 35 Percent After Trump Was Elected – Also: Dating Site For Trump Supporters by N. Spector

Excerpts:

If you’re single and actively dating, this year’s Valentine’s Day may have been your crummiest yet. And not for the usual reasons like lack of chemistry or the person being nothing like their profile promised — but because of whom they voted for, and what political positions they support.

Earlier this month, the dating service Coffee Meets Bagel surveyed 1,320 users and found that the majority of singles say politics are impacting their quest for love.

Complementarian and Pro Family Values Christians Claim to be Pro Woman and Pro Family But By Their Actions Show They Are Not

Complementarian and Pro Family Values Christians Claim to be Pro Woman and Pro Family But By Their Actions Show They Are Not

Complementarians claim to be respectful of women, but their theological views help to enable mistreatment of women and bar women from taking positions and roles that should go to them, if they have the skills, talents, and education.

Many Christians claim to be pro “Family Values” but in reality treat children and women (you know, who tend to be parts of families) like dirt.

Here are some posts explaining in detail or giving examples:

First post:

(Link):  When I Became a Single Mother, Patriarchy Let Me Down by Bridget Jack Jeffries (excerpts from this first link farther below)

Second post:

And by way of WW – that is (Link): Wartburg Watch – (from a February 2017 post entitled, “Ignite: Remove Alleged Rapist, Ben Roethlisberger, and Joe White, Who Is Being Sued for Child Sex Abuse Cover Up, From the Speaker Lineup!”)

Christian Liberty University is holding something called “Ignite,” which pertains to advocating godly manhood or family values, or some such. One of Ignite’s scheduled speakers is a guy named Ben Roethlisberger, who is accused of rape by at least three different women. The guy is, or was, a football player.

A sub-heading on the WW page reads: “The troubling history of rape allegations against Ben Roethlisberger”

The WW blog owners in turn link to this page in  their post about this guy here:

(Link):   Without Consequence: When Professional Athletes Are Violent Off the Field

So, a Christian university is allowing an accused rapist to speak at an event that is purportedly about encouraging men to lead godly lives.

Alpha Females Part 2 – Defining the Terms – How Anti-Feminists and Complementarians Misrepresent Concepts or Terms

Alpha Females Part 2 – Defining the Terms – How Anti-Feminists and Complementarians Misrepresent Concepts or Terms

This commentary will be divided up among a few posts. Here is part 2.

(This post may be edited in the future to re-word things, polish things, add new thoughts or links)

More pages in this series:

Visit Part 1. | Part 3 |  A Response to Venker: Re: Personal Experience

Part 4

Introduction.

For those new to my blog:

I am a right winger. I was a Republican until recently. I am now a conservative Independent.

I was a conservative Christian for many years (I am no longer sure about what my religious views are), and I (Link): Am A Former Gender Complementarian (someone who believed in and lived out traditional gender roles, views which are based in large measure on incorrect interpretations and applications about gender in the Bible).

I sometimes agree with secular left wing feminists on some topics, but not always. At times, I disagree with secular and religious left wing feminists and have written several blog posts critiquing some of their views.

This series of blog posts is addressing the dating and relationship advice of author Suzanne Venker, who wrote a book called “The Alpha Female’s Guide to Men & Marriage” which she has lately been marketing online and on TV news shows.

Here is one article by Venker about her relationship views:

(Link, off site):  Society is creating a new crop of alpha women who are unable to love by S. Venker

---

Venker, like many conservative authors, conflate the word or concept of “feminine” (and “nice“) with terms, behaviors, or concepts, such as, but not limited to, being passive, quiet, demure, agreeable, docile, and “being a doormat.”

I have no doubt that Venker, and women like her, would likely reject that she is asking women to be doormats – but that is precisely what she is doing when she asks women, as she does in the articles I have read, to give up certain behaviors, especially if those behaviors are part and parcel of a normal, healthy adult’s boundaries and identity.

And Venker is insisting women do these very damaging things, insisting that they inflict damage on themselves, change themselves, make themselves smaller, all for the goal of capturing a man while single, or to keeping one happy while married. This is most definitely a throw back to 1950s America and earlier.

We’re in 2017, Venker, please join us here.

By the way, the type of man who needs a woman to repress her fierce nature, true views, or her voice and needs, to “be happy” in a relationship, and not feel like he’s being bossed around, are usually highly insecure or selfish men. Such men are not worth dating or marrying or trying to cajole or placate in the first place.

Many Conservatives further conflate the term “feminine” with women refusing to get their own needs met, and with always putting a man’s needs before their own (or the needs of children or other women ahead of their own).

Being feminine is defined as, or thought of, or confused by many conservatives and with most complementarians, with being a 1950s television show June Cleaver housewife, as though that is the one and only appropriate way for a woman to be.

In a nutshell, conservatives (this would include Christian gender complementarians) confuse “being feminine,” or mistake “being feminine,” with Being Codependent.

Codependency is not healthy for girls, women, or for their relationships.

However, codependent behaviors and attitudes are applauded and expected in girls and women by much of culture (certainly by most conservatives), and complementarian Christians often mistakenly assume that God designed girls and women to be codependents. This is so, even though the Bible through-out warns against anyone, male or female, being codependent.

The word “nice” is also often confused by a lot of people, certainly by complementarians and by some conservatives, with codependency.

When someone is “nice,” this generally means she will exhibit codependent traits.

She will not be assertive and stand up for herself or insist on getting her own needs met, but will go through life doing such things as quietly enduring suffering as boyfriends cheat on her repeatedly, co-workers take advantage of her on the job, or a husband strikes her with his fist.