The Nuclear Family Has Failed – by Yoram Hazony – Re: How the Formerly Extended, “Traditional” Family Was Better for Individuals and Societies

The Nuclear Family Has Failed – by Yoram Hazony – Re: How the Formerly Extended, “Traditional” Family Was Better for Individuals and Societies

(Link): The Nuclear Family Has Failed – by Yoram Hazony 

Excerpts:
May 13, 2022

When people talk about the structure of the family, they often find themselves arguing for or against the “nuclear family”, which consists, on most tellings, of a father and mother, with perhaps two or three children in their care for the first 18 years of their lives.

These children are then supposed to leave the house, move somewhere far away, and make nuclear families of their own.

Contemporary conservatives are especially inclined to embrace this image of the family, although it is not entirely clear why.

The “nuclear family” is not the same as the traditional Christian or Jewish family that existed before the two World Wars. On the contrary, the nuclear family is closer to being an invention of industrialisation and the 20th century.

And there are good reasons to think that this form of family is, in fact, a failed experiment, one that has done immeasurable harm to almost everyone: to women and men, children and grandparents.

The time has come for us to consider retiring the ideal of the nuclear family, and replacing it with something that looks more like the family of Christian and Jewish tradition.

What is the traditional family?

The Gross, Shaming Natalism Propaganda on Gab Platform by Its Rude Members, Including By Roman Catholics and Other Conservatives

The Gross, Shaming Natalism Propaganda on Gab Platform by Its Rude Members, Including By Roman Catholics and Other Conservatives

A few days ago, someone I follow on Gab – I was automatically signed up to follow that person when I joined the site, I did not choose to follow them on my own – (with Gab being a social media platform that is similar to Twitter) shared a meme by someone else called “Disco.”

You can view that meme (Link): here on Gab.

I will also provide a screen shot below.

By the way, I am not as familiar with Gab’s functions and commenting as I am with Twitter’s, so I am not quite sure how to reply to people on Gab or how to link to specific comments by myself or others.

I am a pro-life conservative.

I am not opposed to equal rights for women, but I don’t identify as a feminist.

I don’t really fit in totally over on Gab, a platform which unfortunately attracts a lot of extreme right wing kooks (but some of the users seem okay),
but I don’t really fit in over on Twitter, either (where I was suspended for months previously before I got posting ability again),
because Twitter is over-run with far left “nut jobs,” most of whose views I normally do not agree with.

I have found that both conservatives and liberals / progressives are about equally annoying and wrong on the parenthood, marriage, or nuclear family topics.

Not all progressives or liberals are opposed to women having children; they just believe (and I agree with this concept, though I am a conservative) that women (and men) should be permitted to decide for themselves if they truly want to be a parent or not.

People should not be guilt tripped or pressured into having children.

There are some very fringe, far-out there leftists who are “anti nuclear family” and who are opposed to people having children, and they call themselves “anti natalists.”

I don’t agree with progressives who try to propagandize women (or men) from having children.

I don’t think it’s the progressives’ place to try to brainwash, scold, shame, or guilt trip people from having children.

But then I see the reverse dynamic from a lot of secular and Christian conservatives.

I see people who identify as conservative or Roman Catholic on sites such as GAB who keep pumping out these stupid, horrid, “Have ten kids by the time you’re 30” type memes or comments.

And these views are not even “biblical.”

Christian Conservatives Explain Outrage Over Dave Rubin’s Surrogacy Announcement – Women Used As Props in Homosexual or Transgender Communities

Christian Conservatives Explain Outrage Over Dave Rubin’s Surrogacy Announcement – Women Used As Props in Homosexual or Transgender Communities

I actually follow Dave Rubin on Twitter. I’ve known for awhile he used to be liberal and became a conservative at some point, and he is a homosexual.

I am not too educated on the topic of surrogacy, so that is something I need to research.

In the past year, and though I’m not a feminist myself, I started following a lot of anti-trans-agenda feminists (they tend to call it “radical feminism”), and some of them are strongly opposed to women being used as surrogates to provide babies for other people.

One of my only annoyances with this at this stage, based on what little I know, are Christians who criticize married, infertile (hetero) couples who turn to a surrogate mother and/or IVF, etc, to have a child.

The reason I dislike this, is that I find it hypocritical: most Christian churches, denominations, and persons present being married and having children as being “better” than being single and childless.

So, Christians shame adults for being single and childless, but when or if that adult then tries to take steps to make marriage or pregnancy possible (whether by using dating sites, IVF, a surrogate), that same Christian, church, or denomination will shame that single, childless adult.

You will get shamed or criticized by Christians for striving for the very thing or life goal they are constantly pushing in your face, whether it’s marriage or parenthood.

I may not necessarily be in agreement with all opinions expressed below by other authors.

(Link): No Allies Who Buy Babies

The problem of gay surrogacy reminds us that the right’s alliance with anti-woke liberals cannot and should not survive.

…This, of course, is the primary issue: the moral abomination of surrogacy itself, the commodification of the human child, the relegation of women to the status of incubators. But there is a secondary concern as well.

The same people who make a living being outraged that Lia Thomas, who is a man, is allowed to swim in the women’s races for his college cannot turn around and tell us that there’s nothing wrong with two dudes having babies together.

Is there a difference between men and women, or is there not?

The normalization of homosexuality, and especially the normalization of homosexual parenthood, necessarily leads to the more radical gender ideology advancing from the left today.

Father Shoots Week Old Infant Daughter Four/Five Times Dead Because He Had Wanted A Son, Not A Daughter

Father Shoots Week Old Infant Daughter Four/Five Times Dead Because He Had Wanted A Son, Not A Daughter

This news story comes from Pakistan.

Apparently, residents of Pakistan don’t buy into American, leftist nonsense about biological sex being “assigned at birth,” or something someone can just “identify as,” because when this sociopathic piece of TRASH reported about in the news stories below saw that his first born child lacked a penis (ie, was a female child), he shot her dead four- five times, killing her.

This baby girl was only a WEEK OLD, lord Jesus.

Let this be another (very unfortunate, sad) example that being a parent (or married) does NOT make a person more loving, mature, godly, or ethical, as is often argued by American, pro-Nuclear Family Christian and secular conservatives.

(Link): Pakistan Police Arrest Father Who Shot Newborn Daughter 5 Times

Newborn Jannat Fatima was killed on Sunday in the city of Mianwali, in central Punjab province, sparking a manhunt for her father Shahzeb Khan, who was arrested on Wednesday night.

World Agence France-Presse Updated: March 10, 2022

Lahore, Pakistan: A Pakistani father accused of killing his week-old daughter by shooting her five times because he wanted his firstborn to be a boy has been arrested, police said Thursday.

In the deeply patriarchal country, a son is often believed to offer better financial security to parents than daughters, and girls and women face widespread violence.

Michigan Candidate Robert Regan Says He Tells Daughters to ‘Lie Back and Enjoy’ if Rape is Inevitable by J. O’Neill

Michigan Candidate Robert Regan Says He Tells Daughters to ‘Lie Back and Enjoy’ if Rape is Inevitable

While I am NOT a woke, anti-American SJW progressive, and I believe that American women are a lot more fortunate than women in many other nations around the world, we do still see vestiges of sexism and misogyny by Americans in the United States, and it can and does hurt girls and women. This (news story linked to below) is another example of that.

Also, as a conservative who is a former Republican, I have to say, if Republicans are serious about NOT “waging a war on women,” as they are frequently accused of by the Democrats, they need to call out sexist douche bags like this guy – which this article says they did, which is good.

Al Mohler and guys like him – guys who are obsessed with promoting The Nuclear Family (and marriage and parenthood) – often argue that marriage or parenthood is necessary to make a person loving, mature, ethical and responsible, which is CLEARLY not the case in light of all the news stories of men who murder their own children, molest children, or abuse their wives, but in this case, we have a father saying his own daughters should “enjoy” rape if they are ever in that situation. How perverse. It makes me wonder if he’s sexually abusing his own daughters to hold such an insensitive, repulsive view.

I feel so sorry for his daughters.

I’m a conservative woman, and I’m sad and frustrated to see too many conservative men who do not take sexism or sexual assault of girls and women seriously.  (Not that liberals, progressives or Democrats are any better; please see links below under “Related Posts” for examples.)

(Link): Michigan GOP House candidate defends ‘rape’ comment: ‘A distraction’

(Link):  Michigan House candidate Robert “RJ” Regan denounced for comments about rape

Top Michigan Republicans on Tuesday denounced a state House candidate over his remarks about rape, the latest in a number of controversial comments from the man who narrowly won a special GOP primary a week ago. Robert “RJ” Regan made the statements Sunday in a livestream hosted by a conservative group that was posted on Rumble.

He advocated for decertifying the 2020 presidential election, telling another participant who said it is too late to do anything that her attitude is like what he tells his three daughters: “Well if rape is inevitable, you should just lie back and enjoy it.”

…State Republican Party Chairman Ron Weiser said in a statement that Regan’s “history of foolish, egregious and offensive comments, including his most recent one, are simply beyond the pale. We are better than this as a party and I absolutely expect better than this of our candidates.” Weiser had congratulated Regan last week.

Georgia Man Gets Life for Molesting, Raping Three Generations of Same Family

Georgia Man Gets Life for Molesting, Raping Three Generations of Same Family

While I am not anti-Nuclear Family, nor am I anti-parenthood, or anti-marriage, I don’t buy into the rhetoric by other conservatives that the Nuclear Family or marriage or parenthood will or can save a culture or that any one of those things is necessary to make a person ethical, responsible, compassionate or godly.

I’m a middle aged adult who never married and who never had children, but – I also have never raped any one, nor do I have the intent on doing so. A person doesn’t have to be married or be a parent to live a moral life and not rape people.

Did this guy discussed below being a grandfather make him godly, loving, or compassionate? No.

Did being a grandfather stop him from molesting or raping his own family members for years and years? No.

If you’re a Christian who cares about American culture or people, you probably should be encouraging individuals to pattern themselves after Jesus of Nazareth, and be less fixated on a person’s marital status
(or on gender roles;  the Christian gender complementarians are un-biblically fixated upon biological sex and how men and women “ought” to live life; I will grant that the left is just as bad on this matter, in that some of them do things like deny the reality of sex to assert untrue, absurd notions, such as “women have penises!” or “men menstruate”).

(Link): Grandfather Sexually Assaulted 3 Generations in Family, Learns Fate as Judge Hands Down Life Sentence

(Link):  Cobb man, 66, gets life in prison after molesting 3 generations of same family

A 66-year-old Mableton man was sentenced to life in prison for molesting three generations of the same family, the Cobb County district attorney said Tuesday.

Bennie Frank Johnson was convicted of rape, aggravated child molestation and two counts of child molestation late last month, DA Flynn Broady said. On Monday, Johnson was sentenced to two life terms, plus five years.

…In May 2018, Johnson was arrested after being accused of multiple sexual assaults on an 8-year-old, according to investigators. The victim’s mother told investigators she had also been abused by Johnson when she was a child.

Woman Says She Was ‘Virtually Gang-Raped’ in Facebook’s Metaverse

Woman Says She Was ‘Virtually Gang-Raped’ in Facebook’s Metaverse

Feb. 28, 2022 Update Below

If people (I’m going to guess these were biological males) are willing to do this in a video game or virtual reality, they obviously think poorly of women, and probably think it’s acceptable for themselves, or other males, to sexually harass women on social media and in real life.

So I’d hope that other conservatives (I’m a conservative) would take these kinds of news stories seriously, rather than their usual reaction, which is to joke about them and act like any woman who’d act alarmed or turned off by this is too neurotic, crazy, or overly sensitive and should be brushed off.

I see some conservative men get into the benevolent sexism routine, behave as though all women should be treated as fine, dainty, easily damaged china at all times (e.g., “don’t draft women into the military!,” etc), but then turn around and laugh off sexual harassment of women in these other contexts.

There’s not much consistency here from male (and some female) conservatives – they will stand aghast, indignant, and horrified at biological men who identify as women being allowed into women’s sports, locker rooms, and prisons, but, then behave as though men and boys having these misogynistic attitudes about women – that makes sexual harassment a possibility or likelihood in the first place – is No Big Deal.

(Link): Assaulted in Metaverse: Woman alleges ‘gang rape’ 60 seconds after joining Meta’s virtual world

Excerpts:

Nina Jane Patel, a mother, chronicled the entire scenario in a Medium blog post, alleging that it all transpired within seconds of her entering the virtual world.

“Within 60 seconds of joining, I was verbally and sexually harassed by 3-4 male avatars, with male voices, who essentially, but virtually, gang-raped my avatar and took photos,” she said.

The 43-year-old went on to describe how she witnessed her avatar being sexually raped by a group of male avatars, who photographed her and gave her messages like “don’t pretend you didn’t love it.”

BreakPoint Unfortunately Pushing the False and Un-Biblical “Society Needs Marriage and the Nuclear Family” Rhetoric (and I say this as a Conservative)

BreakPoint Unfortunately Pushing the False and Un-Biblical “Society Needs Marriage and the Nuclear Family” Rhetoric (and I say this as a Conservative)

Dunno how many times I can beat this dead horse, but as I tweeted these BreakPoint guys when they tweeted about this topic a couple of weeks ago (I am just now getting around to blogging about this), the Bible does not present marriage and nuclear families as a fix-all solution for a culture.

In the New Testament church age, the Bible does not command any one to marry and/or to have children.

Jesus, the founder of Christianity, never married or had children, and he constantly depicted spiritual family as being more important than biological family (see Matthew 12:46-50 and Matthew 10:37,38 for more).

I am saying all this as a conservative. I am not a liberal or a progressive. I don’t hate marriage.

Here is the Nuclear Family and Marriage pushing editorial from BreakPoint (podcast on page with comments below it, and I will comment below all this):

(Link): If we lose belief in marriage and the family as the foundation of a flourishing society, there won’t be much left for “conservatives” to conserve. 

Excerpts:

by John  Stonestreet, Shane Morris

“Love and marriage, love and marriage,” crooned Frank Sinatra, “go together like a horse and carriage.”

Today, however, an ever-growing majority of Americans seem to think marriage is just as outdated as a social institution as a horse and carriage are as a transportation technology.

 And this includes those who have historically championed marriage as essential to a healthy and flourishing society.

Authors at The Federalist Keep Bashing Singleness in the Service of Promoting Marriage – Which Is Not Okay

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Authors at The Federalist Keep Bashing Singleness in the Service of Promoting Marriage – Which Is Not Okay

In the last two months, I’ve seen two different editorials from conservative site The Federalist in support of marriage (or parenthood).

I’m a conservative. I am not in opposition to marriage or people choosing to have children.

My issue with other conservatives is that they are so paranoid of liberals and assume all liberals are anti-marriage and anti-parenthood to the degree that they leave no room for nuance, meaning, that unfortunately, many pro-marriage and pro-parenthood conservatives end up “trash talking” singleness and the state of being childless (or being childfree).

I’m a conservative woman who has never married, and I’ve never had children, yet I do not hate marriage or married people having children, and I am so tired of these conservative authors or pundits feeling it necessary to put down single or childless adults like myself in their quest to defend marriage and natalism – conservative single adults like myself get caught in the cross-fire.

If you are a conservative who believes too many liberals are anti-marriage or anti-parenthood, and you want to speak out in favor of either station, that’s fine with me, but as a single, childless, conservative woman, I do get very hacked off and offended to read these conservative articles and editorials whose authors assume that any and all single and childless (or childfree) adults are awful, selfish, anti-family, weird, under-developed, or jerks.

Not every one in the United States today who is single past the age of 30, or who is childless or is childfree, is a feminist, a liberal, a progressive, pro-abortion, Democrat, or anti-family.

So, to my fellow conservatives, stop assuming that all single adults who remain single by choice OR by circumstance, or who are childless or childfree, are terrible, selfish, or are baby-hating progressives.

There is ZERO NEED to defend or promote marriage by talking in a derogatory manner about singleness or the state of being childless or childfree.

Make your case in favor of marriage or natalism without resorting to insulting all single adults, or assuming and making the false case that all single adults hate marriage, hate babies, or vote Democrat.

Here is the first of two recent pro-marriage or pro-natalism editorials at conservative site The Federalist  that manage to work in insults and slams against single adults or singleness itself – which is totally shameful and unnecessary!

(Link):  Joy Behar Accidentally Admits Social Conservatives Were Right About Sex

Pertinent Excerpts:

BY: NATHANAEL BLAKE
December 10, 2021

… In particular, large numbers of unattached men are bad for society; having a family encourages men to be productive and protective, rather than idle drones or predators.
— end excerpts —

I mean, really? It’s not necessary or fair to refer to or describe men who remain single as being “idle drones or predators.”

I have a long-running list of news headlines at my blog (in this post) of married men (some who even work as church pastors) who were arrested for wife abuse, making child porn, or raping children.

Serial killer John Wayne Gacy was married to a woman, had two biological children by her, but he went on to rape and murder over two dozen young men. Did marriage and fatherhood make Gacy more “loving” and “giving?” No, no it did not.

Marriage does not stop a man from being “a predator.”

Pope Francis Says ‘Sins of the Flesh’ Aren’t that ‘Serious’ – Joins His Baptist and Protestant Counterparts in Downplaying Sexual Sin

Pope Francis Says ‘Sins of the Flesh’ Aren’t that ‘Serious’ – Joins His Baptist and Protestant Counterparts in Downplaying Sexual Sin

This Roman Catholic Pope now joins the many Baptists, Protestants, evangelicals, and social conservatives who have given up on upholding celibacy and sexual abstinence until marriage in the last several years.

(Link): Pope Francis Says ‘Sins of the Flesh’ Aren’t that ‘Serious’

By Hannah Frishberg
December 8, 2021

Lust is not the worst of the seven deadly sins, according to Pope Francis.

There are worse indiscretions than sex outside of marriage, the leader of the Catholic Church told reporters on the papal plane while en route from Greece to Italy on Monday, Reuters reported.

“Sins of the flesh are not the most serious,” the 84-year-old religious leader said regarding sex outside of marriage. Top transgressions instead include pride and hatred, according to Reuters.

‘Happily Married’ Music Minister Fatally Shoots Wife, Adult Son and Daughter – Masculinity, Male Headship, Marriage and Parenthood Does Not Save a Society

‘Happily Married’ Music Minister Fatally Shoots Wife, Adult Son and Daughter – Masculinity, Male Headship, Marriage and Parenthood Does Not Save a Society

A lot of pro-marriage, pro-natalism, pro-Nuclear Family groups or persons – especially social conservatives and Christians – like to argue or put forth the notion that marriage and parenthood are necessary to make a person more loving, ethical, mature, or that marriage and parenthood can fix or improve a society, though the Bible certainly does not state as such any where, and common sense and observation of the news indicates those are false beliefs.

Some of those conservative groups (and for years, Hollywood suggested this in movies, too) like to pontificate that being married can make a person happy, whole, and complete (if you’re a Christian, shouldn’t you really be teaching that all that is necessary to complete a person is a relationship with God via Jesus his son?).

(By the way, I am a conservative myself, and I am not opposed to marriage, parenthood, and the nuclear family. However, I  am opposed at how some segments of culture, including other conservatives, elevate marriage, parenthood, and the nuclear family to an undeserved, unrealistic degree.)

In spite of all the pro-family, pro-marriage propaganda by Christians and other conservatives, every so often, we all see these news stories about a married person (who may also be a parent) who is arrested for having abused or murdered his spouse and children (or someone else’s children).

Here’s another example below.

Being married and a parent did NOT make this man happy or more godly, loving, or ethical than being single and childless or childfree.

Let this also go to demonstrate that Christian Gender Complementarianism, which encompasses a view, among other things, that manly-men, or masculinity, can “save” a culture, or that “male headship” is a good and godly thing, is a bunch of bunk.

The guy’s bio blurb on the church’s page (which is now only available via “The Wayback Machine,” I believe), says that he is “happily married.” How happy did marriage make this man, if he murdered his wife and two of his three adult children?

What is intrinsic to masculinity, male headship, patriarchy, parenthood, and marriage, made this guy cherish and protect his wife and kids – nothing, apparently, because he murdered them.

(Link): Florida church musical director killed wife, two kids at family’s home: sheriff

Dec 2, 2021
By Joshua Rhett Miller

A Florida man gunned down his wife of 30 years and two adult children at their home — shooting each victim multiple times so “they didn’t suffer,” authorities said.

William Conway Broyles, who serves as musical director at a Jacksonville church, shot his 57-year-old wife, Candace, in the living room of their Callahan home early Wednesday, WJXT reported.

Should Parents’ Votes Count More? Unpacking J. D. Vance’s Attack on the “Childless Left”

Should Parents’ Votes Count More? Unpacking J. D. Vance’s Attack on the “Childless Left”

The answer to the question put forth by J. D. Vance, “should parents’ votes count more than those of the childless” is a resounding NO.

I’m not exactly sure if Vance defines himself as a conservative, a populist, or what.

But I find that people who are non-liberal, non-left tend to assume anyone who is single or childless is an anti-American, Democrat-voting, nuclear family hating heretic.

I’m a conservative woman who arrived into middle age with never having married or having had children – not by choice, but by circumstance.

I deeply resent how so many conservatives or other types of non-liberals frequently equate womanhood, or maturity, with marriage and parenting (having children). It’s revolting and sexist.

Other conservatives (or non-liberals and non-leftists) who despise the left, who want to “own” the left, frequently come up with moves like this, which inevitably end up causing collateral damage.

Not all women (and men) who remain single and childless are there by choice or because they hate marriage and the nuclear family.

I will say that it’s rather disingenuous for the author of the following to frame the situation as Vance starting the “cultural war” when as of the last several years, non-liberals have been responding to cultural wars begun by liberals!

Contrary to leftist and liberal propaganda (as what appears in this piece at The Week by Mathis), conservatives and Republicans do not want to suppress votes, or stop anyone (i.e., American citizen) from voting.

(Link): Should Parents’ Votes Count More? Unpacking J. D. Vance’s Attack on the “Childless Left”

by Joel Mathis
July 26, 2021

J.D. Vance has endured a tough start to his campaign for the open U.S. Senate seat in Ohio, so maybe it’s no surprise that he’s borrowing a time-tested Republican tactic and doubling down on cultural warfare.

During a gathering of conservatives on Friday, the onetime Hillbilly Elegy author blasted the “childless left” — citing by name Democratic politicians including Vice President Kamala Harris, Transportation Secretary Pete Buttigieg, Rep. Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez (D-N.Y.), and Sen. Cory Booker (D-N.J.).

“Why is this just a normal fact of American life, that the leaders of our country should be people who don’t have a personal indirect stake in it via their own offspring, via their own children and grandchildren?” Vance asked, rhetorically. (Harris, for what it’s worth, has two stepchildren with her husband, Doug Emhoff.)

 Better, he suggested, to give extra voting power to America’s parents.