If Your Christian Husband Is A Porn Addict, Has Affairs, Impregnates Another Woman, You Divorce, You Don’t Forgive and Stay – Pukey 700 Club Segment
I was watching Christian TV show The 700 Club today, and there was an interview of a married couple, and you can read a transcript of it here:
(Link): Healing a Marriage – Chris admitted his pornography addiction to his wife Cindy.
Chris also sought out women to have affairs with in real life, got one of them pregnant.
Chris and his wife Cindy later went on about how the wife now loves the “love child” as though it’s her own son (though the son lives with the biological mother).
I think I’m supposed to find this story inspirational or whatever, but it has the opposite effect.
This is similar to another interview I saw on 700 Club a few years ago, only the genders were swapped out – it was the wife who had the affair and got pregnant, and the husband stayed with her.
From the time I was a kid and older, I was fed the line by other Christians that if I stayed sexually pure, I’d get a great Christian husband in my 20s or 30s, but despite the fact I sexually abstained, I have never married.
Of course, I have other reasons why I abstained, but that was just one of several reasons. But that was in fact one of the reasons.
I can’t believe that if I were to marry at this point, and if my spouse had a porn addiction, was having affairs, and got some lady pregnant, like Chris on The 700 Club show, most Christians would tell me to stay with the adulterer and deviant.
The woman in the TV segment I saw today said she thought about leaving her husband. She said preachers kept telling her what kind of wife she ought to be, as in, she should forgive her husband and stay with him.
One day, her mother or someone asked her to meet with another pastor, which she was reluctant to do, but did so anyhow.
She said he said to her, “nobody would blame you if you left the guy. But just think if you stood by his side how God could use you to redeem this man.” That is what caused her to stay.
Here is the excerpt from the page:
- But Cindy still needed time – to think and pray. She left for a few weeks to stay with her mother.
- “When I got there, my mother said, ‘Hey, I made an appointment for you to see Brother Dan,’ her pastor. Oh, Lord, really? I have to see someone else tell me to stay married and be a good wife? And he said, ‘What you’ve been through is really difficult. Nobody would blame you if you left.’ I’m like, ‘yes!’ And he said, ‘But…’ and I’m like ‘Oh, there’s a ‘but’ there’. He said, ‘You are not a fool to stay and be a part of the redemptive work in a man’s life’.
- …Chris and Cindy started over. Cindy forgave him completely, and their trust in each other started to grow again. They had two sons of their own. Chris’s third son lives with his mother.
I wanted to puke, really.
If this were me, I would have most likely divorced the guy.
You can forgive someone, that does not mean you must reconcile with them, hang out with them, or live with them. You can divorce and stay apart and God can still work out “redemption” in the porn user and adulterer’s life ~ you don’t have to be a part of that person’s life anymore.
There is no way I’ve stayed a virgin this late in life only to marry some porn user loser who impregnates another woman. There is no way I’d put up with that and stay.
By the way, the dude in this story, Chris? I think he was the worship leader at his local church. There is the cherry on top.
This is another reason I no longer agree with the “be equally yoked” teaching, there are too many Christian men who are using porn, having affairs, etc. There is no point or advantage in marrying another Christian, if you can find a Non Christian who treats you well.
Chris better feel fortunate he married old Cindy there, because if Chris had married Christian Pundit I most likely would’ve left his ass after I found out about the porn magazines, let alone the affair and bastard son by another woman.
I don’t find stories like this inspirational or hopeful. My mouth drops open at how much Christians expect women to put up with from men. The men get off scot-free, there are no consequences to their actions.