Christlike or Pornlike?  A Christian Woman’s Role in Marriage

Christlike or Pornlike?  A Christian Woman’s Role in Marriage by Andrew J. Bauman and Taylor May

(Link): Christlike or Pornlike?  A Christian Woman’s Role in Marriage

Excerpts:

by Andrew J. Bauman

I am proud to be writing this article in partnership with Taylor May, a survivor of emotional and spiritual abuse. She has boldly shared her own story about what it was like to be married to someone who had a Pornographic Style of Relating, (PSR) and what it felt like to be used by him with her Church’s consent.

*Trigger warning for those who have suffered this type of betrayal trauma.


I’ve written about the pornographic style of relating here (PSR), but today we will hear from the perspective of a woman who has lived on the other side of this dynamic.

Many people have been talking about this with the release of this new book [Married Sex: A Christian Couple’s Guide to Reimagining Your Love Life by Gary Thomas] and some of its disturbing implications.

How can we talk about what these women are experiencing, and what can we learn from them?

Taylor May has offered her story and her experience below. My hope is that this can begin to clear up the muddy waters of what it means to live a Christlike marriage in a deeply pornified world.


by Taylor May

I didn’t realize how a pornographic style of relating was so deeply embedded into my first marriage until I was firmly planted into my second marriage.

That’s when I began to see the impact my first husband’s issue with lust had on my new, much healthier relationship.

Let me tell you my story, and how I and countless other women feel when our significant others lust for other women, on-screen or off.

Those of us who grew up in the evangelical Church have been told that we are responsible for men’s lust issues. This lie has been perpetrated by the church for far too long.

Many men are leading our church conversations with 90% of pastors being men, and considering that nearly 50% of those pastors self-report having used pornography, it would make sense that they would try to gaslight women by minimizing the destructive nature of porn use.

One way they do this is by framing it as a women’s issue or a sex issue, rather than the objectification of women/sin issue–one that stems from the person doing the objectifying.

Continue reading “Christlike or Pornlike?  A Christian Woman’s Role in Marriage”

Why Sex-Positive Feminism is Falling Out of Fashion

Why Sex-Positive Feminism is Falling Out of Fashion

(Link): Why Sex-Positive Feminism is Falling Out of Fashion

Sept 24, 2021
by Sarah Greenberg

…But sex positivity now seems to be fading from fashion among younger people, failing to speak to their longings and frustrations just as anti-porn feminism failed to speak to those of an earlier generation.

It’s no longer radical, or even really necessary, to proclaim that women take pleasure in sex.

If anything, taking pleasure in sex seems, to some, vaguely obligatory.

In a July BuzzFeed News article headlined, “These Gen Z Women Think Sex Positivity Is Overrated,” one 23-year-old woman said, “It feels like we were tricked into exploiting ourselves.”

Continue reading “Why Sex-Positive Feminism is Falling Out of Fashion”

In San Diego, Porn Star Preaches Message ‘For Sinners By Sinners’ (Practicing Porn Star Active in Her Husband’s Church, Defends Porn)

In San Diego, Porn Star Preaches Message ‘For Sinners By Sinners’ (Practicing Porn Star Active in Her Husband’s Church, Defends Porn) – story via The Roys Report

I’ve been saying at this blog for a good, long while that most churches and Christians stopped teaching or defending the concept of sexual purity years ago.

The church of today does not support “purity culture,” (and has not supported it for many years), contrary to what all the progressive feminists, or ex-Christians who rant against it, on Twitter say.

Many churches want to appear cool, hip, and trendy, in part, I think, to attract people who normally may not want to attend church. One thing they do to appeal to the non-churched is to brazenly advertise “pro sex” type of sermon series.

Churches today, and even many marriage-promoting Christian and “nuclear family” groups, no longer defend celibacy or virginity-until-marriage.

Some churches even hire and utilize known pedophiles to lead their “sexual purity” classes at and during church.
Some Christian couples openly engage in “swinging,” in which they allow their spouse to have sex with the spouse of someone else.
Yet other self professing Christians have been saying for years now that the God of the Bible is supposedly accepting of sex outside of marriage (no, the God of the Bible is not okay with pre-marital, or extra-marital sex).
(Seriously. For examples of this insanity, please see the links at the bottom of this post under “Related Posts.”)

Also, let this following report go to show, that contrary to a lot of assumptions of Baptists and evangelical Christians, married people are not more godly or ethical than single adults.

There has been a long-standing assumption by many Christians that (Link): all single adults are fornicating horn dogs who can’t keep their pants zipped up, but that all married couples are above sexual sin. Not so.

This story also goes to put a huge dent in a lot of the Christian “dating advice” type literature I read when younger, which said if you don’t have a spouse by a certain age, it’s because God is actively with-holding marriage from you, because you’re not “clean” or “godly” enough.

That perverts like the people in the story below are married goes to blow a hole through that teaching. You obviously don’t have to be very godly, or mature, responsible, or a good person to “merit” a spouse.

So far has the contemporary church sunk regarding sexual ethics, we now apparently have a preacher’s wife (with his knowledge and blessing) still working in, on, or for pornographic sites or movies while also working at her husband’s church (if I am understanding the news story correctly) and declaring herself a Christian:

(Link):  In San Diego, Porn Star Preaches Message ‘For Sinners By Sinners’ by Sarah Einselen

Excerpts:

Angela Dela Cruz is a porn star, making a living from an industry widely considered evil and predatory. She’s also a pastor of Living Faith Church, a new church plant in downtown San Diego.

Angela and her husband, Stephen Dela Cruz, launched the church plant this summer, advertising it as “a church for sinners by sinners.” The church website further explains that the church’s leaders are “the biggest sinners, and this is the most non-judgmental church around!”

While the church website doesn’t identify its pastors, the couple has been open on social media about Angela’s involvement in adult entertainment and her role in the church.

Continue reading “In San Diego, Porn Star Preaches Message ‘For Sinners By Sinners’ (Practicing Porn Star Active in Her Husband’s Church, Defends Porn)”

OnlyFans Isn’t A Safe Platform for “Sex Work.” It’s A Pimp.

OnlyFans Isn’t A Safe Platform for “Sex Work.” It’s A Pimp.

(Link) OnlyFans Isn’t A Safe Platform for “Sex Work.” It’s A Pimp. – New York Times

Excerpts:

Sept 6, 2021
By Catharine A. MacKinnon

We are living in the world pornography has made. For more than three decades, researchers have documented that it desensitizes consumers to violence and spreads rape myths and other lies about women’s sexuality.

In doing so, it normalizes itself, becoming ever more pervasive, intrusive and dangerous, surrounding us ever more intimately, grooming the culture so that it becomes hard even to recognize its harms.

One measure of this success is the media’s increasing insistence on referring to people used in prostitution and pornography as “sex workers.”

Continue reading “OnlyFans Isn’t A Safe Platform for “Sex Work.” It’s A Pimp.”

Texas Pastor Sentenced to 30 Years After Using Hidden Cameras to Secretly Film Child Porn at Church

Texas Pastor Sentenced to 30 Years After Using Hidden Cameras to Secretly Film Child Porn at Church 

And all the stuff I heard from Baptists and evangelicals and Protestants as I was growing up about marriage, dating, and complementarian male headship is totally false!

Is church a good place to meet single men if you’re a single woman who’d like to date or marry? Nope. Not only do most churches lack single men, but the ones who do attend (and even work a pastors!) end up being child pornographers.

I’m not sure if the pastor discussed in the articles below is married or not, or if he’s ever been married, but he probably is – or was.

The fact that this guy is into child porn puts to rest the Christian dating advice chest nut that God only sends spouses to people who “deserve” a spouse or who have achieved some kind of pinnacle of spirituality or godliness, so that, the standard Christian thinking goes, that they’ve “earned” one.

If child pornographers are getting married, that goes to show that you, as imperfect as you are (I’m assuming you’re not into child porn), sure as hey are not less worthy of marriage.

It seems like about at least once a month, a news story breaks about some church staff or pastor going to jail for having hidden cameras in a church’s bathroom.

At this point in time, if you attend a church, you may want to scrutinize the facilities to make sure there are no cameras by your toilet or urinal.

(Link): Former Denison Church Of The Nazarene Pastor David Pettigrew Gets 30 Years For Child Pornography Violations

August 23, 2021

Former Denison Church of the Nazarene pastor David Pettigrew, 49, was sentenced to federal prison for sexual crimes against children. Pettigrew pleaded guilty on April 7, 2021 to sexual exploitation of children; conspiracy and attempt and was sentenced to 30 years in federal prison by U.S. District Judge Amos L. Mazzant.

Continue reading “Texas Pastor Sentenced to 30 Years After Using Hidden Cameras to Secretly Film Child Porn at Church”

The Pro-Porn and the Pro-Sex Workers are Inaccurately Depicting Standard Christian Views about Sex to be “Anti-Sex” (re: “OnlyFans” Headlines)

The Pro-Porn and the Pro-Sex Workers are Inaccurately Depicting Standard Christian Views about Sex to be “Anti-Sex” (re: “OnlyFans” Headlines)

In light of the fact that “OnlyFans” is no longer allowing its members to post pornography on it site (which may have something to do with MasterCard credit card company refusing to accept payments on any site that may involve human/sex trafficking), some porn supporters, “sex workers,” or free speech advocates, are, unfortunately, inaccurately depicting any and all Christian sexual ethics as being “anti sex.”

Believing that sex is a sin outside the confines of marriage is a pretty typical Christian position going back decades to hundreds of years; believing that sexual behavior should have some kind of limits is not inherently “anti sex,” and as an adult celibate, I very much resent the portrayal of sexual abstinence outside of marriage as being “anti sex” or “sexual repression.”

As a celibate myself – and my preference would still be to wait until I marry to have sex, and I am now middle-aged – I am not opposed to sex.

However, I do believe that pornography and prostitution devalues the act of sex itself, and yes, both objectifies women, and women are already objectified in non-porn culture as it is.

Continue reading “The Pro-Porn and the Pro-Sex Workers are Inaccurately Depicting Standard Christian Views about Sex to be “Anti-Sex” (re: “OnlyFans” Headlines)”

‘The Sex Ed Being Taught Is Pornographic’: Inside the ‘Evil’ Sex Ed Moves in Our Schools and Gender Chaos

‘The Sex Ed Being Taught Is Pornographic’: Inside the ‘Evil’ Sex Ed Moves in Our Schools and Gender Chaos

Audio on this page (the audio file is embedded on their page):

(Link): ‘The Sex Ed Being Taught Is Pornographic’: Inside the ‘Evil’ Sex Ed Moves in Our Schools and Gender Chaos

On that page, the host has on a guest, Mindy Cline, who explains how and why sex ed is pornographic.

One thing Cline explains is that the groups (seemingly far left groups) who are trying to push past parents to put inappropriate sex education content into public schools have an ideology that children are sexual since birth, children should be allowed to engage in sexual behavior (even with adults) at any time. These groups refer to this as ‘Sex Positivity.’

These pro- sex positive groups believe that to prohibit the sexualization of children, to discourage or prevent children from engaging in sexual acts (even with adults) is a form of Sexual Repression.

They also discuss other topics, like how parents need to limit the amount of time they allow their children to spend online, because a lot of time, children are becoming sexualized or enticed to identify as transgender due to the content they are seeing on You Tube, Tumblr, and other sites.

One of the speakers mentions that a lot of (Link): preachers are afraid to speak out against any of these issues due to fear of backlash – these women say the preachers they’ve spoken to say these are very controversial topics, and they “already have targets on their heads,” and they don’t want another one.

From another podcast on that same page:

Let’s Talk Purity: Welcome to the “Let’s Talk Purity Podcast” with Richard and Brittni De La Mora. Purity isn’t just for singles – it’s for everyone. It’s not just for a season of life – it’s a lifestyle. Join hosts Richard and Brittni De La Mora as they redefine purity.

Related content (off site):

(Link): Planned Parenthood sex ed ‘sexualizes’ children, ‘leading to abortion’: former volunteer says

Continue reading “‘The Sex Ed Being Taught Is Pornographic’: Inside the ‘Evil’ Sex Ed Moves in Our Schools and Gender Chaos”

Conservatives In Civil War Over Whether or Not Porn Stars Can Be Considered Conservative or Should Be Permitted To Attend Conservative Events

Conservatives In Civil War Over Whether or Not Porn Stars Can Be Considered Conservative or Should Be Permitted To Attend Conservative Events

I am a conservative, I don’t support pornography, but I’m not sure if I agree with other conservatives who have been saying lately that pornography movie actors cannot be conservatives.

It’s my understanding that some conservative type symposium sponsored by TPUSA (Turning Point U.S.A.), aimed at high school and college aged students, recently invited or permitted to attend, a porn star named Brandi Love, in Florida.

Ever since, conservatives have been feuding about this.

Some are saying, yes, porn actors should be permitted into the “conservative tent,” (or into conservative functions) while other say, “no way!”

My opinion is that yes, even porn stars can be politically conservative if they like, but I’m not sure it’s wise for one to actually attend an event for college students – and some said that while she was in attendance, she wore some kind of name badge with her “porn name” on it, to advertise her porn site or something(?)

I don’t think conservatives should defend porn, because porn is ultimately harmful to society and to women in particular – defending sexual hedonism and perversion is the province of liberals and leftists.

I see some overlap here and among the Christian faith, because a lot of Christians and churches used to defend the practice of remaining a virgin until marriage  (as they should), but in years past, they have begun defending sexual impurity and saying sex outside of marriage is no big deal.

Some churches, when having a “pro sexual purity” or “pro celibacy” event during church hours have been known to hire known fornicators – I’ve done posts about this subject in the past.

The Christians will never ask or hire an honest- to god- adult virgin to give a “sexual purity” lecture, no, they’d rather hire a person who FAILED at sexual purity.

It would be like hiring a food-addicted, 600 pound adult to give a “pro healthy eating” lecture at a church. It makes no sense.

Cancel Culture?

Some people are trying to market this move – of TPUSA of revoking her day pass – as cancel culture, but I’m not so sure.

If conservatives were trying to “cancel” Brandi Love, they’d be trying to ruin her entire career; there would be an on-going Twitter campaign by conservatives to “dog pile” and harass her on Twitter (which is not going on, AFAIK).

(If conservatives are harassing her, they should knock it off. I did read that some conservatives are defending her on Twitter.)

So far as I am aware, there are no conservatives writing to any of Love’s employers and demanding that she be fired and never allowed to work ever again – that would be the sort of thing that “cancel culture” leftists do.

Also note Love was not banned from the political conference due to differences in political opinion – the left always cancels people over political dissent. This banning was more over morals, not over a difference in view points.

Here is some material about this conservative feud:

(Link):  Conservative porn star Brandi Love fumes on Twitter about ‘cancel culture’ after she’s uninvited from GOP student event

I’m not sure if I agree with all of this essay or not:

(Link): About Porn Stars and Conservatism

Excerpts:

by B. Morse

…Now, the conversation has begun on the internet (read flame war) about where pornography fits into the big tent of conservatism after a right-leaning porn star, Brandi Love, showed up and was subsequently booted from a Turning Point USA event due to her profession.

This sparked a debate about whether or not Love can actually be a “conservative” and be a porn star with many of conservatism’s big names saying she can and others saying she can’t.

Continue reading “Conservatives In Civil War Over Whether or Not Porn Stars Can Be Considered Conservative or Should Be Permitted To Attend Conservative Events”

NY Prep School Students Sent to “Porn Literacy” Training

NY Prep School Students Sent to “Porn Literacy” Training

(Link): Parents Outraged After Discovering NYC Prep School Is Teaching More Than Reading, ‘Riting, and ‘Rithmetic 

(Link): NY Prep School Students Sent to “Porn Literacy” Training 

Excerpts:

By Dana Kennedy
May 22, 2021

Parents at the posh Columbia Grammar & Preparatory School are outraged they were never told of a fourth “R” being added to the curriculum: raunch.

In addition to the usual reading, ‘riting and ‘rithmetic, the school this month launched lessons on porn — without informing families or allowing them to opt out, parents fumed.

Continue reading “NY Prep School Students Sent to “Porn Literacy” Training”

Why Are Young Men So Afraid of Sex? by Zoe Stimpel

Why Are Young Men So Afraid of Sex? by Zoe Stimpel

(Link): Why Are Young Men So Afraid of Sex? by Zoe Stimpel – American Spectator site – partial copy here

Excerpts:

… [After having been single again for two years (unclear if due to divorce or breakup with a boyfriend), the author of this piece decided to try various dating sites and apps and to date men ages 20 – 25; she was 38 at the time. She discusses how her conversations with these younger men start out and then end.]

…In these conversations [with younger men on dating apps], messages veer from requests for info on what you did on the weekend to requests for your life story.

Without the prospect of a drink, the conversation then dies. Or they hang forever in the ether.

On Christmas Day, no fewer than eight twentysomething men got in touch, most of them men I had met on dating apps. I’d only met three.

The rest had been kicking around in my DMs, as they say, for up to a year and seemed suddenly keen for a chat.

The third path is sexting. This is the most depressing, and fast becoming the most uncontrollable and ubiquitous, aspect of dating young men.

Continue reading “Why Are Young Men So Afraid of Sex? by Zoe Stimpel”

Church Director, Seminary Student Set to Wed in November Arrested for Child Pornography

Church Director, Seminary Student Set to Wed in November Arrested for Child Pornography

No, the “equally yoked” rule so many Christians like to cram down the throats of singles is of no import – another example further below in this post.

There are a lot of men out there, who appear to be genuine Christians (whether they are actually Christian or not is immaterial to single Christian women who find them on dating sites and so on), who are actually great big perverts.

It would be better for a single Christian woman who desires marriage to marry a loving, non-perverted atheist (or Hindu or Druid or whatever)
than to marry an abusive or perverted man who believes in, and who confesses, Jesus as his savior, and who regularly attends church and does all the other things that appear to be the marks of an actual Christian to most other believers.

Disclaimer for the annoying female Christians who like to bray on my blog when I mention all this:
“But what about all the bad atheist men out there??!! Don’t tell me that all non-Christian men are wonderful!”

I am well aware of the fact that Non-Christian men can be pigs and horrible, too.

My view does not have to contain the premise that ALL atheists and other flavors of Non-Christians are angelic and marriage-material. That is not my belief nor my point.

My point is that one limiting one’s self to any one group of men based on religious criteria (whether Mormon only, Christian only, atheist only, ‘whatever’ only) is needlessly limiting one’s dating pool.

Let this also be a lesson that contra to what so many Christians teach about dating and marriage, that one does not have to be perfect in any way to “deserve” a spouse, or to be “worthy” of a spouse.

If God is permitting deviants like the sicko in the news story below to become engaged to be married – a nasty ass pedophile of all things! – there’s absolutely no reason to adhere to a false theology that God has special, stricter rules for “permitting” a non-pedophile adult single to become engaged.

I mean, please! As though God is more lax and forgiving towards a child- diddler than a normal person? Get bent.

But so much of the Christian dating advice, the “how to get married” advice I saw and heard from Christians (in person or read in books or on blogs) is predicated on this faulty type of thinking.

There are a lot of hurtful, false, and stupid things Christians teach and believe about singleness, dating, and marriage.

(Link): NOBTS student dismissed after arrest on child pornography charges

NEW ORLEANS (BP) – A student at New Orleans Baptist Theological Seminary (NOBTS) was arrested today (May 13) on child pornography charges. Andrew Shiira was being held at the Orleans Parish Prison on 10 counts of pornography involving juveniles.

(Link): Church Director, Seminary Student Set to Wed in November Arrested for Child Pornography

by L. Blair,
May 2021

Andrew Shiira, once the director of worship planning at Lake Shore Church, was getting ready to graduate from New Orleans Baptist Theological Seminary on Saturday.

A few months later in November, he was expected to move on to wedded bliss with his fiancée, but his life was upended Thursday when he was arrested on 10 counts of child pornography.

Continue reading “Church Director, Seminary Student Set to Wed in November Arrested for Child Pornography”

Josh Duggar Arrested (April 2021) – Update: For Owning Child Porn

Josh Duggar Arrested (April 2021) – Update: For Owning Child Porn

About an hour ago, I learned that Josh Duggar (yes, (Link): that Josh Duggar) was arrested. The talking head on the news channel said it was yet to be determined what he was arrested for.

More updates below, including one news report that says:

“The agent said [the child porn] images allegedly found on Josh Duggar’s computer were “in the top five of the worst of the worst that I’ve ever had to examine””.

Updates at Top:

(Link): Josh Duggar arrested for child porn, faces up to 20 years in prison if convicted

(Link): Josh Duggar, “19 Kids and Counting” star, facing child pornography charges in Arkansas

(Link):  Josh Duggar Has Been Charged With Receiving And Possessing Child Sexual Abuse Images

Duggar allegedly downloaded child sexual abuse images online and kept material depicting sexual abuse of minors under age 12, prosecutors said.

Continue reading “Josh Duggar Arrested (April 2021) – Update: For Owning Child Porn”