Impure Motives Of ‘Purity Culture’ Critics by R. Dreher

Impure Motives Of ‘Purity Culture’ Critics by R. Dreher

Before we get to the link and excerpts to the page by Dreher, let’s talk for a moment about the liberal Christian and ex-Christian backlash against Purity Culture:

I’ve seen this as well, time and again from the “anti purity culture” brigade on Tweets and blogs:
They think that dismantling “Purity Culture” means rejecting all Christian sexual ethics, or the “rules” or specific morals of it they do not like, including the biblical teaching that fornication is considered a sin (some self-professing Christians are actually on blogs insisting that God doesn’t prohibit pre-marital sex, but they can’t point to verses that say that God accepts it, either).

But there is definitely a “throw the baby out with the bathwater” mindset among many of the “anti Purity Culture” adherents. They also tend to “look down their noses” at adults over the age of 30 who voluntarily sexually abstain – both liberals and Christian conservatives view adult celibates as repressed, weird, or as freaks.

I’m a woman who never married, was committed to the idea of abstaining until marriage, so I am still a virgin – and I’m currently in my forties. I mention that because one thing I’d like to make clear: not everyone who leaves the faith does so due to sexual considerations.

I myself am not quite Christian and not quite non-Christian – but I remain celibate. I’m now fine with the idea of having sex outside of marriage, but only in a committed relationship – but I arrived at this view years after my faith crisis began.

In other words, having sex was not a reason as to why I’m somewhat walked away from the faith – sex was not the cause or my reason.

So, if you are a Christian who tut tuts and shames people online for leaving the faith, please stop assuming that most who leave the faith do so because they are sexual libertines who want to have sex all over the place. That may be true for some ex-Christians or for some doubters, but it’s certainly not the case for all of them.

(Link): Impure Motives Of ‘Purity Culture’ Critics

Excerpts:

Matthew Lee Anderson (Link): makes a true and necessary point about Josh Harris’s apostasy and the subsequent critiques of Evangelical “purity culture.” Excerpts: [omit]

….As I’ve said before, I don’t have any direct experience with “purity culture,” though I have friends who are theologically conservative on sexual matters, but who say that they were damaged by it.

Their point, as I understand it, is not that traditional Christian sexual ethics are wrong, but that “purity culture” distorts them in a rigidly legalistic way that can harm the ability of particular believers to live out these ethics. I accept that this can be true. I have seen this kind of thing at work within non-Protestant religious circles too.

That said, Anderson is certainly right that whatever the problems with purity culture, they can never justify throwing out Christian sexual ethics, tout court.

Continue reading “Impure Motives Of ‘Purity Culture’ Critics by R. Dreher”

A Philosopher of Sex Says Sexual Freedom Is Destroying Desire by Olivia Goldhill

A Philosopher of Sex Says Sexual Freedom Is Destroying Desire by Olivia Goldhill

(Link): A Philosopher of Sex Says Sexual Freedom Is Destroying Desire

Excerpts

Philosophers claim to explore the most fundamental features of existence, but have been disappointingly silent on one all-important subject: Sex.

Sure, Michel Foucault addressed the sociological discourses around sex and Simone de Beauvoir definitively demonstrated the value of sexual equality, but what about sex itself—or, as philosophy professor Jeanne Proust researches, sexual desire?

Continue reading “A Philosopher of Sex Says Sexual Freedom Is Destroying Desire by Olivia Goldhill”

One Million New Sexually Transmitted Infections Every Day, Says WHO

One Million New Sexually Transmitted Infections Every Day, Says WHO

(Link): One Million New Sexually Transmitted Infections Every Day, Says WHO

Excerpt:

June 2019

One million new sexually transmitted infections (STIs) occur every single day, the World Health Organization has estimated.

That means more than 376 million new cases annually of four infections – chlamydia, gonorrhoea, trichomoniasis, and syphilis.

The WHO highlights a lack of progress in stopping the spread of STIs, and says its figures are a “wake-up call”.

Experts are particularly concerned about the rise in drug-resistant STIs.

Continue reading “One Million New Sexually Transmitted Infections Every Day, Says WHO”

Woman ‘Accidentally Shot Dead By Her Lover In Deadly Sex Game Gone Wrong’ by Mydrim Jones

Woman ‘Accidentally Shot Dead By Her Lover In Deadly Sex Game Gone Wrong’ by Mydrim Jones

Two take-aways from this story:

  1. Many people are really, really dumb and
  2.  Sex is not worth it

(Link): Woman ‘Accidentally Shot Dead By Her Lover In Deadly Sex Game Gone Wrong’

June 2019

A WOMAN died after her lover shot her during a risky sex game using a loaded gun.

Andrew Shinault’s handgun accidentally went off during foreplay at his home, said cops.

Continue reading “Woman ‘Accidentally Shot Dead By Her Lover In Deadly Sex Game Gone Wrong’ by Mydrim Jones”

Barna: Half of Pastors Worry They’ll Offend Someone if They Preach on Controversial Topics by T. G. Phillips

Barna: Half of Pastors Worry They’ll Offend Someone if They Preach on Controversial Topics by T. G. Phillips

This is actually nothing new. Over six years ago, I noticed that a lot of preachers, even conservative ones, are reluctant to address certain sins from the pulpit or online, in particular, sexual sins, for fear it may offend the audience.

Months after I began noticing that trend, I came across an article with an interview with a preacher (Link): who admitted to the fact that he’s afraid to preach against sexual sin lest it cause controversy – he did not want to offend his congregation or anyone else.

So this 2019 study is really nothing new. I am not surprised by this.

Many conservative Christians have actually (Link): given up on defending celibacy or virginity- until- marriage (which is in fact a (Link): biblical standard and expectation for bother sexes, regardless of what the evangelical feminists and anti-purity culture advocates argue), to the point, many of them now (Link): expect all un-married persons to fornicate.

Further, some conservatives actually express disdain that more people today are practicing celibacy – they’d rather see single adults fornicating.

(Link): Half of Pastors Worry They’ll Offend Someone if They Preach on Controversial Topics by T. G. Phillips

Excerpts:

April 13, 2019

New polling has revealed half of American pastors are too concerned they might offend someone to speak out on hot-button social and moral issues, but could that problem have a simple fix?

According to research from the (Link): Barna Group, the same issues pastors feel most pressured to preach about are also the ones they feel most uncomfortable addressing.

Continue reading “Barna: Half of Pastors Worry They’ll Offend Someone if They Preach on Controversial Topics by T. G. Phillips”

Video Games, not Chastity, to Blame for Young Men Not Having Sex, Sociologist Says

(Link): Video Games, not Chastity, to Blame for Young Men Not Having Sex, Sociologist Says by Michael Foust

Excerpts:

April 9, 2019

A leading sociologist says video games – and not a sudden interest in chastity – may be to blame for a dramatic increase in the percentage of young men not having sex.

Continue reading “Video Games, not Chastity, to Blame for Young Men Not Having Sex, Sociologist Says”

New Study (2019) Finds Some Boys Are Having Sex Before Age 13 by S. Gordon

(Link): New Study (2019) Finds Some Boys Are Having Sex Before Age 13

Excerpts:

April 2019
by S. Gordon

….In two national surveys, investigators found that between 4% and 8% of boys reported having sex before they were 13. That number varied greatly depending on where the boys lived. In San Francisco, just 5% of boys said they had sex before 13, but in Memphis that number jumped to 25%.

Race and ethnicity also made a difference in whether or not a young person had an early sexual experience. Black males were most likely to have sex before 13, followed by Hispanic males.

Continue reading “New Study (2019) Finds Some Boys Are Having Sex Before Age 13 by S. Gordon”

Percent of Americans Not Having Sex Reaches Record High: Report (2019)

Percent of Americans Not Having Sex Reaches Record High: Report (2019)

(Link): Percent of Americans Not Having Sex Reaches Record High: Report

by Brooke Seipel
March 29, 2019

The number of U.S. adults not having sex has reached a record high, according to a (Link): Washington Post analysis of data from the General Social Survey.

Twenty-three percent of respondents, or nearly 1 in 4, reported having no sex in the past year, according to the Post. More than 30 percent of adults reported having monthly sex and nearly 40 percent reported having sex weekly or more.

Young men between 18 and 30 years of age saw one of the biggest declines in sexual activity, with 28 percent saying they had no sex over the last year. The same data from 1989 shows just 14 percent of men of the same age range reporting no sex.

Young women in the same age range, however, report higher rates of sexual activity, with only 18 percent saying they had no sex in the past year.

Continue reading “Percent of Americans Not Having Sex Reaches Record High: Report (2019)”

Nadia Bolz-Weber’s Gospel of Shame-Free Sexuality by W. Hill

Nadia Bolz-Weber’s Gospel of Shame-Free Sexuality by W. Hill

I recognize there are flaws with Christian “Purity Culture,” but the response to those flaws (usually by liberal Christians) is just as bad.

The liberal Christians, or others who are opposed to Christian sexual purity teachings, want to reject about any and all sexual boundaries, in the process of rebelling against Christian purity teaching.

However, not all of Christian purity teaching is bad – something the anti-Purity Culture advocates don’t want to admit or discuss.

As I’ve pointed out in older posts, the anti-Purity Culture movement ends up alienating and marginalizing any adults who do choose to remain celibate or virgins until marriage.

We’re living in an age and culture where a lot of us are demanded to respect any and all sexual behaviors, except for virginity and celibacy; those are mocked, as are those who practice them. The tolerance goes only one-way with many Anti-Purity Culture adherents.

(Link): Nadia Bolz-Weber’s Gospel of Shame-Free Sexuality 

By W. Hill, Feb 2019

Excerpts:

We can’t defeat shame by whittling down God’s law to fit our behavior. We need the good news of God’s forgiveness instead

….Doing Away with Absolution

Unfortunately, the pastor who talked up the liberation that comes from admitting you’re in the wrong now seems more interested in helping people understand why they don’t need to.

In her new book, Shameless: A Sexual Reformation, Bolz-Weber is out to set Christians free from the angst and humiliation churches have often foisted on them because of their sexual proclivities and behaviors.

But the way the book goes about doing so is by rejecting wholesale the idea of “sexual purity” and, with it, the need to confess sexual transgression.

Continue reading “Nadia Bolz-Weber’s Gospel of Shame-Free Sexuality by W. Hill”

Bride Discovers New Husband Has Micropenis On Honeymoon After He Refused to Have Sex Before Marriage

Bride Discovers New Husband Has Micropenis On Honeymoon After He Refused to Have Sex Before Marriage

(Link): Bride Discovers New Husband Has Micropenis On Honeymoon After He Refused to Have Sex Before Marriage

Feb 2019

The groom said he wanted to wait until after they were married to have sex because he was “old fashioned like that”

Nowadays, most couples get to know each other intimately before saying ‘I Do’ and tying the knot .

But some still stick to the tradition of no sex before marriage and save the special moment for their big day.

Despite not being religious, one couple decided to wait because the man claimed to be “old fashioned like that”.

But the bride now believes this wasn’t actually the case and that he made that up to avoid her discovering his micropenis before they were married.

The couple dated for a year before he popped the question, and married after a six month engagement.

She didn’t discover the micropenis until their wedding night, when they were already away on their honeymoon.

Continue reading “Bride Discovers New Husband Has Micropenis On Honeymoon After He Refused to Have Sex Before Marriage”

What Is The Right Age To Lose Your Virginity? – via BBC

What Is The Right Age To Lose Your Virginity? – via BBC

(Link): What Is The Right Age To Lose Your Virginity? – via BBC

Excerpts:

Having sex too soon is the biggest regret of young people losing their virginity, a survey of British sexual behaviour suggests.

More than a third of women and a quarter of men in their teens and early 20s admitted it had not been “the right time” when they first had sex.

People must be 16 or over to legally consent to sex.

The latest National Survey of Sexual Attitudes and Lifestyles poll says many people may not be ready at that age.

Continue reading “What Is The Right Age To Lose Your Virginity? – via BBC”

Male Teen Virgin Pays Prostitute For Sex, Now Says He’s in Love With Her (*Barf*)

Male Teen Virgin Pays Prostitute For Sex, Now Says He’s in Love With Her (*Barf*)

First, this news story is totally gross.
(I’m convinced this thing about teen boys losing their virginity to a hooker is less about their libido and probably has more to do with most cultures shaming anyone who is a virgin into their mid to late teens and adulthood.)

Secondly, he’s a naive idiot.

Notice the headline:

“Virgin, 16, ‘who won unlimited sex holiday falls in love with prostitute he slept with’”

He didn’t “sleep” with her. He paid her for sex. It was a business transaction.

Continue reading “Male Teen Virgin Pays Prostitute For Sex, Now Says He’s in Love With Her (*Barf*)”

Teacher Fired By Catholic School For Getting Pregnant Out of Wedlock (2018)

Teacher Fired By Catholic School For Getting Pregnant Out of Wedlock (2018)

I don’t understand these supposed Christian employers who fire women who get pregnant out of wedlock – I have other examples on this blog of this very thing.

First of all, I’ve never heard of a scenario where they fire the pregnant woman but do nothing to the man she slept with, which makes this a pretty one-sided, sexist action to take.

Secondly, most Christians claim to be pro-life. Would they prefer is women in these situations go to an abortion clinic and abort the baby?

I can a situation where a single woman, who needs her job to pay her bills, gets pregnant, but then panics, knowing her Christian employer may fire her for fornication, so keeping it a secret, she runs out and gets an abortion.

That is a possible scenario some of these Christian groups are putting women in. Is that really what they want?

(Link): Teacher Fired By Catholic School For Getting Pregnant Out of Wedlock

Dec 5, 2018
by Kristine Solomon

A respected English and creative writing teacher in Pennsylvania was fired on Friday from her job at the Catholic high school where she’s been employed for four years. Her transgression? Becoming pregnant while unmarried.

Naiad Reich was ready to start a family, and she planned the pregnancy to coincide with a June birth so she wouldn’t have to take maternity leave from her post at Our Lady of Lourdes Regional School in Coal Township, Pa., (Link): according to the Daily Item.

When she announced her happy news — and the clever timing — to Sister Mary Anne Bednar, though, the principal and administrator was less than impressed.

“Her response, honestly, is one that will sit with me for a very long time, because she was very displeased,” (Link): Reich told PennLive. “She said it would be a problem and she had to contact the diocese.”

By Friday, the Roman Catholic Harrisburg Diocese officials had reached a decision: Reich’s out-of-wedlock pregnancy was a violation of a morality clause in her contract. If Reich and her partner, Matt Graboski, had no plans to get married in the near future, (Link): according to ABC affiliate WNEP, she’d have to be let go.

Continue reading “Teacher Fired By Catholic School For Getting Pregnant Out of Wedlock (2018)”

Hetero CIS Woman Conned Into Having Sex With Trans-man Who Didn’t Tell Her He was First a She

Hetero CIS Woman Conned Into Having Sex With Trans-man Who Didn’t Tell Her He was First a She

Sounds as though this deviant placed her selfish sexual preferences and desires above the welfare of this other woman in the news story.

I think another thing this news story goes to show is that not only do some men (that is, honest to God men, who were born male) make terrible, selfish, abusive boyfriends, but some women (who try to pass themselves off as male) also make for terrible boyfriends!

(Link): Mum, 30, duped into sex by transgender man, 35, with fake penis says she’ll ‘never trust another man’

Lisa Evans has opened up on how Carlos Delacruz claimed he was self conscious because of burn scars – and demanded romps in the dark while using a ‘blood and flesh’ prosthetic

A MUM duped into sex with a trans lover who used a fake penis told how her life was “torn apart”.

She's a Man, Baby!

Lisa Evans, 30, bedded Carlos Delacruz, 35, unaware the fiend — born female — had no penis.

Delacruz was jailed for the prosthetic attack on her and another partner.

Continue reading “Hetero CIS Woman Conned Into Having Sex With Trans-man Who Didn’t Tell Her He was First a She”

The Unfortunate Anti-Virginity Fall-Out from Christian Misogynist Lori Alexander’s Wacky “Debt Free Virgins Without Tattoos” Post – The Problem is Not Supporting Virginity, It’s Complementarianism

The Unfortunate Anti-Virginity Fall-Out from Christian Misogynist Lori Alexander’s  Wacky “Debt Free Virgins Without Tattoos” Post – The Problem is Not Supporting Virginity, It’s Complementarianism

Updated:

Lori Alexander has posted this (unhelpful) clarification of her post (about “Debt Free Virgins with Tattoos”) on an ultra-conservative political forum:

(Link): Godly Men Prefer Debt Free Virgins Without Tattoos – by Lori Alexander, on Free Republic

Her new aspect is to add the word “Godly” prior to the word “Men,” as if that makes it less obnoxious or wrong, but it does not.

I used to lurk at the Free Republic site, back in my more conservative days, but I’m not surprised to see most of the posters under Alexander’s post on that site actually agreeing with it.

Of course they do.

I’m still a conservative, but I’m no longer off the reservation about it, as the Freepers are on some things, like on this topic.


The Unfortunate Anti- Virginity Fall Out Due to Lori Alexander’s “Debt Free Virgin” Post

If you’d like more background to this post, and an explanation for who Lori Alexander is, please see my previous post about it here:

(Link): Reflections On Lori Alexander’s Debt Free Virgins Without Tattoos

If you are new to my blog, a recap:

I am over 45 years of age and still a virgin.

I was reserving sexual activity for marriage. I’ve never had sexual intercourse. I was expecting to be married but never found Mr. Right.

I do have a libido.

Contrary to what Christians ASSUME about older virgins, Celibacy, being sexually abstinent for as long as I’ve been, is not “a gift” where God granted it to me and supernaturally removed my libido and makes it easy-breezy to cope with.

For many years, I was dedicated to remaining a virgin until marriage, due to Christian ethics, (these days I’m semi-agnostic), but also due to other reasons as well, which I shall not get into here but have explained in older posts on the blog.

In the last ten or so years, I’ve seen a disturbing trend where secular, liberal feminist views about sex have trickled into liberal Christian corners, where there is much railing against “slut shaming” and there is strong opposition to judging any woman for her sexual behavior or choices.

This trend became so common that these same views, disturbingly, began appearing on liberal Christian blogs and sites, whose progressive, feminist, Christian authors began writing editorials saying virginity is of no import, God only cares about your heart and spiritual purity, and God does not care so much anyone’s sexual behavior, (Link): intact hymen, or sexual past.

This anti- sexual purity thinking (which includes the down-playing, condemning, or mocking of physical virginity and adult celibacy) has even crept into mainstream moderate- to- conservative churches and Christian writing and thinking, unfortunately.

Continue reading “The Unfortunate Anti-Virginity Fall-Out from Christian Misogynist Lori Alexander’s Wacky “Debt Free Virgins Without Tattoos” Post – The Problem is Not Supporting Virginity, It’s Complementarianism”

Thoughts on the NRO Essay “Advice For Incels” by Kevin D. Williamson

Thoughts on the NRO Essay “Advice For Incels” by Kevin D. Williamson

About me and this blog:

If you are new to my blog: I have been a conservative my entire life. I’ve never voted Democrat. I was a Republican until a few years ago. I am no longer in any political party.

I sometimes critique secular, left wing feminists on my blog (such as but not limited to (Link): this post and (Link): this one), but there are times when I believe other conservatives get feminists wrong, and feminists are actually correct on some issues.

I was brought up in a traditional values, conservative, Christian family where my parents brought me to Southern Baptist churches as I was growing up, where I was taught to believe in gender complementarianism, which I did for many years, until I finally realized how (Link): wrong and sexist complementarianism is.

Because I grew up as a complementarian, I am quite familiar with what they think and why they think as they do.

My current religious beliefs are somewhat “up in the air,” as I am waffling between being agnostic, (or a deist), and the Christian faith. (Note: I am not an atheist.)

I am by no means anti- Nuclear Family, anti- motherhood, or anti- marriage, though I do posit that many to most conservatives – especially the religious ones – have gone to un-biblical lengths and have turned the Nuclear Family, marriage, natalism, and motherhood and fatherhood into idols which is wrong of them.

— end introduction to me and this blog —

I saw a link to this essay go through my Twitter feed today:

(Link): Advice for Incels by Kevin D. Williamson

On one level, this essay – “Advice for Incels” was okay.

However, I think that while the guy who wrote it has his heart in the right place, I think he gets a lot of things wrong and is naive about how Baptist and conservative Protestant and evangelical churches are for adult singles.

I’ve spent the last several years on this blog covering these topics – I’d encourage Williamson and anyone who read his NRO piece to read the books  (Link): “Singled Out” by Field and Colon and  “Quitting Church” by Christian author Julia Duin for even more information.

Continue reading “Thoughts on the NRO Essay “Advice For Incels” by Kevin D. Williamson”

Sexual Consent Apps

Various articles about consent apps for sex.

(Link): Sexual Consent Apps Aim to Start Conversations, Prevent Assaults

(Link): The Problem with Sexual Consent Apps

Not only are they far from sexy, which can hamper use, they miss the mark on discussing what consent actually is.

(Link): Saying OK to Sex? There’s an App for That – WSJ

(Link):  People are talking about sexual consent. Would an app help?

Excerpts:

Smartphone apps We-Consent and Sa-Sie were among the first to attempt a digital solution with apps that allowed partners to check “yes” when they agreed to sex.

Now, LegalFling is joining the consent-by-click market, with the added cachet of being blockchain-based. The company says it will be available for download in the Apple and Android app stores in the next month.

Sure, it can be awkward to stop and talk about consent in the heat of the moment, which is why partners rely on non-verbal cues to give and interpret it.

Continue reading “Sexual Consent Apps”

Most Pastors Say Their Churches Never Discipline Members for Sinful Misconduct, Survey Finds

Most Pastors Say Their Churches Never Discipline Members for Sinful Misconduct, Survey Finds

No kidding. Goodness knows most church people these days do not speak out against hetero fornication.

They are afraid of offending or hurting the feelings of any and all fornicators sitting in their pews. They also expect anyone and everyone past the age of 25 and single to be sexually sinning – there is no expectation of any adult being chaste.

(Link):  Most Pastors Say Their Churches Never Discipline Members for Sinful Misconduct, Survey Finds

Excerpts:

by Samuel Smith, April 2018

Protestant churches in the United States rarely reprimand their members for misconduct as a survey indicates that more than half of pastors say they don’t know of an instance in which their church has disciplined a member.

LifeWay Research unveiled a new poll Thursday in which over 1,000 Protestant senior pastors, ministers and priests were interviewed about their church’s handling of formal discipline.

The responses were weighed by region to reflect population. The sampling size includes a 3.2-percentage-point margin of error.

When asked over the phone when the last time their church formally disciplined a member, 55 percent of pastors said that “a member has not been formally disciplined since I came as pastor nor prior as far as I know.”

Continue reading “Most Pastors Say Their Churches Never Discipline Members for Sinful Misconduct, Survey Finds”

CDC Turns to GOOGLE, Socials to Predict Syphilis Outbreaks…

CDC Turns to GOOGLE, Socials to Predict Syphilis Outbreaks…

(Link): Artificial intelligence used to predict STDs

 By Laura Kelly – The Washington Times – Monday, April 9, 2018
Syphilis has made a comeback in the U.S., and health researchers are using Google searches and tweets in an effort to predict the next outbreak.

After decades of steady decline, infection rates for the sexually transmitted disease started to rise after hitting a historic low in 2000 — from 2.2 cases per 100,000 people to 8.7 cases per 100,000 in 2015 and 2016, according to the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention.

Continue reading “CDC Turns to GOOGLE, Socials to Predict Syphilis Outbreaks…”

‘My sex addiction almost killed me’: Woman confesses compulsive pursuit of anonymous hook-ups nearly drove her to suicide

(Link): ‘My sex addiction almost killed me’: Woman confesses compulsive pursuit of anonymous hook-ups nearly drove her to suicide

Jace Downey, 30, before she sought help the sex she was having was becoming increasingly dangerous, risky and painful

A woman who claims to be addicted to sex says her compulsive pursuit of anonymous hook-ups almost made her take of her own life.

Continue reading “‘My sex addiction almost killed me’: Woman confesses compulsive pursuit of anonymous hook-ups nearly drove her to suicide”