Don’t Let ‘Incel’ Misogynists Like the Toronto Killer Tell You They’re Special – I Was A Virgin Until I Was 27 By Noah Berlatsky

Don’t Let ‘Incel’ Misogynists Like the Toronto Killer Tell You They’re Special – I Was A Virgin Until I Was 27 By Noah Berlatsky

American society stopped “slut shaming” people for having sex outside of marriage many years ago, contrary to what the anti-sexual purity “Ex-vangelicals,” liberal Christians, Christian feminists, and other groups argue on blogs and twitter.

The trend has been the opposite in years past: adults who are celibate and single are often ridiculed or thought of as weird losers if they’re not in a romantic relationship and not having sex.

Our culture went from “Slut Shaming” years ago to “Celibate and Virgin Shaming.” (I have examples all over this blog, look for them).

Here’s an essay by a guy who didn’t lose his virginity until his late twenties. It’s another anecdotal piece of the pie demonstrating how our sex saturated culture shames people who are not having sex.

(Link): Don’t Let ‘Incel’ Misogynists Like the Toronto Killer Tell You They’re Special – I Was A Virgin Until I Was 27 

Excerpts

by Noah Berlatsky
April 2018

The man who murdered ten people in Toronto with a van, like the 2014 Isla Vista killer, considered himself an “incel,” or involuntary celibate.

Incels are men who blame the world, and especially women, for the fact that they are virgins, or aren’t having sex as often as they want.

They see women as manipulators who choose powerful but shallow men, and unfairly ignore and even torment good guys like themselves.

Resentment becomes an excuse for misogyny, and sometimes, for violence.

In the aftermath of the Toronto massacre, some people were quick to use the killer’s celibacy as an insult.

One’s Premarital Beliefs On Casual Sex Can Jeopardize Their Marriage, 2019 Study Finds

One’s Premarital Beliefs On Casual Sex Can Jeopardize Their Marriage, 2019 Study Finds

(Link): One’s Premarital Beliefs On Casual Sex Can Jeopardize Their Marriage, Study Finds

TALLAHASSEE, Fla. — We all have a past, and romantic histories can often be a sore spot among lovers in a committed, long-term relationship.

No one wants to hear about a current partner’s past sexual experiences, but a new long-term study finds that an individual’s personal beliefs on casual sex, even long before getting married or meeting their significant other, can make it much harder to stay happily married in the future.

Researchers from Florida State University investigated several factors likely to lead to a marriage’s ultimate success or failure, and identified pre-marital beliefs and behaviors pertaining to uncommitted sex as a major red flag indicating a marriage is not so likely to last.

Married Mother and Lawyer Reveals She Works As A Part-Time Prostitute

Married Mother and Lawyer Reveals She Works As A Part-Time Prostitute

 

A lot of Christians falsely promise that marriage will make a person more godly, mature, ethical, and responsible.

 

A lot of them also said in their teachings – at least when I was a teen and in my twenties – that if one remained a virgin until marriage, that the married sex would be frequent and excellent.

 

But here is a news story about a married woman (who is also a mother), works as a lawyer, yet she also spends part of her time getting paid to have sex with other people. Did being married and a parent make her more sexually ethical? Nope.

 

 

(Link): Married Mother and Lawyer Reveals She Works As A Part-Time Prostitute

 

 

Married Mother and Lawyer Reveals She Works As A Part-Time Prostitute

Christians will falsely teach people that being married will make them become more godly and mature, and as they will supposedly be getting plenty or regular, great sex with a spouse, they’ll never commit adultery or other sexual sin ever.

At least, I was exposed to this sort of teaching from Protestant and Baptist sources when I was a kid, teen and twenty something.

But as we can see via this news story below – and stories like this one – no, it’s not true. 

Marriage and motherhood did not cause this woman to be more godly or mature, nor did married sex keep her from having sex with other people – and getting paid for it.

(Like): ‘Sex is fun, and I can get paid for it’: Married mother and lawyer reveals she works as a part-time PROSTITUTE and once made $55,000 at a brothel in Nevada in just THREE WEEKS

A criminal defense lawyer has opened up about her life as a part-time prostitute, revealing she once made a whopping $55,000 in just three weeks.  

Katherine Sears, a married mother of one from Des Moines, Iowa, started working as a prostitute three years ago at the age of 27. With her husband John Sears’ approval, she spends three weeks at a time working at a brothel in Nevada, where prostitution is legal.  

‘I like sex. Sex is fun, and I can get paid for it,’ she told KCCI of her side hustle, which she hopes to help decriminalize by sharing her story. 

Woman Collapses In Agony As She’s Savagely Caned For ‘Having Sex Outside Marriage’ In Front of Indonesian Crowd

Woman Collapses In Agony As She’s Savagely Caned For ‘Having Sex Outside Marriage’ In Front of Indonesian Crowd

It seems that at least once per year, I see these headlines go through my social media account of some Islamic nation caning a woman for having had sex outside of marriage.

(Link): Indonesian woman collapses in pain as she is flogged for ‘showing affection in public’ in the country’s only Sharia law province

(Link): Woman Collapses In Agony As She’s Savagely Caned For ‘Having Sex Outside Marriage’ In Front of Indonesian Crowd

by Debbie White

THREE “canoodling” couples were cruelly whipped in a humiliating public punishment in Indonesia for violating local Sharia law.

After the backs of the six men and women had been flogged more than 20 times each, some collapsed, bleeding, crying with severe pain and had to be carried off stage, say reports.

Indonesia to Make Sex Outside Marriage Illegal

Indonesia to Make Sex Outside Marriage Illegal

(Link): Indonesia to Make Sex Outside Marriage Illegal 

Gay marriage is not recognised in the country

by Tom Allard

Indonesia is poised to pass a new penal code that criminalises consensual sex outside marriage and introduces stiff penalties for insulting the president’s dignity – a move rights groups criticised as an intrusive assault on basic freedoms.

The world’s most populous Muslim majority country has substantial Christian, Hindu and Buddhist minorities, but has seen a recent trend towards deeper religious piety and conservative Islamic activism.

Interest in Male Sex Dolls On The Rise

Interest in Male Sex Dolls On The Rise

Let’s hear it for equal opportunity objectification of people. Women have been sexually objectified forever, now men are getting a turn at it.

And you know what? I’d rather keep my dignity intact by remaining celibate, rather than disgrace myself by performing sex acts on or with a doll. You’re kind of debasing yourself when you do certain things, and this is one of those things.

(Link): Interest in Male Sex Dolls On The Rise

Sept 2019

Why play with Barbie when you can play with Ken?

Demand for male sex dolls has steadily increased as companies move to accommodate consumers of various sexualities.

Company LumiDolls launched its first sex doll brothel in Barcelona in 2017, and this year launched a location in Nagoya, Japan that will feature its first male dolls, the Daily Star Online reported.

Sergi Prieto, who co-founded the venture, told the outlet that more men wanting to experiment with male dolls.

Poster Chapmaned24 Blocked On This Blog: He’s a Celibacy-Shaming Apologist of Pastoral Sexual Predators

Poster Chapmaned24 Blocked On This Blog: He’s a Celibacy-Shaming Apologist of Pastoral Sexual Predators

I put an individual named “chapmaned24″ on block on this blog as of this evening, because he left a judgmental comment on my blog in response to a post I did about serial adulterer and serial Clergy Sex Abuse perp Tullian Tchividjian, all while seemingly suggesting I am judgmental, or a sinner, because I mentioned in passing in my commentary on Tullian that I remain a virgin over the age of 45…

(I don’t recall exactly which blog post it was, possibly (Link): this one)

Jesus Christ said in the New Testament, “Why do you call me, “Lord Lord” and do not what I command,” and he also warned that on judgement Day many will stand before him and he will tell them, “Get away from me, I never knew you.”

Is Tullian following Christ’s teachings on sexual behavior? No.

Impure Motives Of ‘Purity Culture’ Critics by R. Dreher

Impure Motives Of ‘Purity Culture’ Critics by R. Dreher

Before we get to the link and excerpts to the page by Dreher, let’s talk for a moment about the liberal Christian and ex-Christian backlash against Purity Culture:

I’ve seen this as well, time and again from the “anti purity culture” brigade on Tweets and blogs:
They think that dismantling “Purity Culture” means rejecting all Christian sexual ethics, or the “rules” or specific morals of it they do not like, including the biblical teaching that fornication is considered a sin (some self-professing Christians are actually on blogs insisting that God doesn’t prohibit pre-marital sex, but they can’t point to verses that say that God accepts it, either).

But there is definitely a “throw the baby out with the bathwater” mindset among many of the “anti Purity Culture” adherents. They also tend to “look down their noses” at adults over the age of 30 who voluntarily sexually abstain – both liberals and Christian conservatives view adult celibates as repressed, weird, or as freaks.

I’m a woman who never married, was committed to the idea of abstaining until marriage, so I am still a virgin – and I’m currently in my forties. I mention that because one thing I’d like to make clear: not everyone who leaves the faith does so due to sexual considerations.

I myself am not quite Christian and not quite non-Christian – but I remain celibate. I’m now fine with the idea of having sex outside of marriage, but only in a committed relationship – but I arrived at this view years after my faith crisis began.

In other words, having sex was not a reason as to why I’m somewhat walked away from the faith – sex was not the cause or my reason.

So, if you are a Christian who tut tuts and shames people online for leaving the faith, please stop assuming that most who leave the faith do so because they are sexual libertines who want to have sex all over the place. That may be true for some ex-Christians or for some doubters, but it’s certainly not the case for all of them.

(Link): Impure Motives Of ‘Purity Culture’ Critics

Excerpts:

Matthew Lee Anderson (Link): makes a true and necessary point about Josh Harris’s apostasy and the subsequent critiques of Evangelical “purity culture.” Excerpts: [omit]

….As I’ve said before, I don’t have any direct experience with “purity culture,” though I have friends who are theologically conservative on sexual matters, but who say that they were damaged by it.

Their point, as I understand it, is not that traditional Christian sexual ethics are wrong, but that “purity culture” distorts them in a rigidly legalistic way that can harm the ability of particular believers to live out these ethics. I accept that this can be true. I have seen this kind of thing at work within non-Protestant religious circles too.

That said, Anderson is certainly right that whatever the problems with purity culture, they can never justify throwing out Christian sexual ethics, tout court.

A Philosopher of Sex Says Sexual Freedom Is Destroying Desire by Olivia Goldhill

A Philosopher of Sex Says Sexual Freedom Is Destroying Desire by Olivia Goldhill

(Link): A Philosopher of Sex Says Sexual Freedom Is Destroying Desire

Excerpts

Philosophers claim to explore the most fundamental features of existence, but have been disappointingly silent on one all-important subject: Sex.

Sure, Michel Foucault addressed the sociological discourses around sex and Simone de Beauvoir definitively demonstrated the value of sexual equality, but what about sex itself—or, as philosophy professor Jeanne Proust researches, sexual desire?

One Million New Sexually Transmitted Infections Every Day, Says WHO

One Million New Sexually Transmitted Infections Every Day, Says WHO

(Link): One Million New Sexually Transmitted Infections Every Day, Says WHO

Excerpt:

June 2019

One million new sexually transmitted infections (STIs) occur every single day, the World Health Organization has estimated.

That means more than 376 million new cases annually of four infections – chlamydia, gonorrhoea, trichomoniasis, and syphilis.

The WHO highlights a lack of progress in stopping the spread of STIs, and says its figures are a “wake-up call”.

Experts are particularly concerned about the rise in drug-resistant STIs.

Woman ‘Accidentally Shot Dead By Her Lover In Deadly Sex Game Gone Wrong’ by Mydrim Jones

Woman ‘Accidentally Shot Dead By Her Lover In Deadly Sex Game Gone Wrong’ by Mydrim Jones

Two take-aways from this story:

1. Many people are really, really dumb and
2.  Sex is not worth it

(Link): Woman ‘Accidentally Shot Dead By Her Lover In Deadly Sex Game Gone Wrong’

June 2019

A WOMAN died after her lover shot her during a risky sex game using a loaded gun.

Andrew Shinault’s handgun accidentally went off during foreplay at his home, said cops.

Barna: Half of Pastors Worry They’ll Offend Someone if They Preach on Controversial Topics by T. G. Phillips

Barna: Half of Pastors Worry They’ll Offend Someone if They Preach on Controversial Topics by T. G. Phillips

This is actually nothing new. Over six years ago, I noticed that a lot of preachers, even conservative ones, are reluctant to address certain sins from the pulpit or online, in particular, sexual sins, for fear it may offend the audience.

Months after I began noticing that trend, I came across an article with an interview with a preacher (Link): who admitted to the fact that he’s afraid to preach against sexual sin lest it cause controversy – he did not want to offend his congregation or anyone else.

So this 2019 study is really nothing new. I am not surprised by this.

Many conservative Christians have actually (Link): given up on defending celibacy or virginity- until- marriage (which is in fact a (Link): biblical standard and expectation for bother sexes, regardless of what the evangelical feminists and anti-purity culture advocates argue), to the point, many of them now (Link): expect all un-married persons to fornicate.

Further, some conservatives actually express disdain that more people today are practicing celibacy – they’d rather see single adults fornicating.

(Link): Half of Pastors Worry They’ll Offend Someone if They Preach on Controversial Topics by T. G. Phillips

Excerpts:

April 13, 2019

New polling has revealed half of American pastors are too concerned they might offend someone to speak out on hot-button social and moral issues, but could that problem have a simple fix?

According to research from the (Link): Barna Group, the same issues pastors feel most pressured to preach about are also the ones they feel most uncomfortable addressing.

Video Games, not Chastity, to Blame for Young Men Not Having Sex, Sociologist Says

(Link): Video Games, not Chastity, to Blame for Young Men Not Having Sex, Sociologist Says by Michael Foust

Excerpts:

April 9, 2019

A leading sociologist says video games – and not a sudden interest in chastity – may be to blame for a dramatic increase in the percentage of young men not having sex.

New Study (2019) Finds Some Boys Are Having Sex Before Age 13 by S. Gordon

(Link): New Study (2019) Finds Some Boys Are Having Sex Before Age 13

Excerpts:

April 2019
by S. Gordon

….In two national surveys, investigators found that between 4% and 8% of boys reported having sex before they were 13. That number varied greatly depending on where the boys lived. In San Francisco, just 5% of boys said they had sex before 13, but in Memphis that number jumped to 25%.

Race and ethnicity also made a difference in whether or not a young person had an early sexual experience. Black males were most likely to have sex before 13, followed by Hispanic males.

Percent of Americans Not Having Sex Reaches Record High: Report (2019)

Percent of Americans Not Having Sex Reaches Record High: Report (2019)

(Link): Percent of Americans Not Having Sex Reaches Record High: Report

by Brooke Seipel
March 29, 2019

The number of U.S. adults not having sex has reached a record high, according to a (Link): Washington Post analysis of data from the General Social Survey.

Twenty-three percent of respondents, or nearly 1 in 4, reported having no sex in the past year, according to the Post. More than 30 percent of adults reported having monthly sex and nearly 40 percent reported having sex weekly or more.

Young men between 18 and 30 years of age saw one of the biggest declines in sexual activity, with 28 percent saying they had no sex over the last year. The same data from 1989 shows just 14 percent of men of the same age range reporting no sex.

Young women in the same age range, however, report higher rates of sexual activity, with only 18 percent saying they had no sex in the past year.

Nadia Bolz-Weber’s Gospel of Shame-Free Sexuality by W. Hill

Nadia Bolz-Weber’s Gospel of Shame-Free Sexuality by W. Hill

I recognize there are flaws with Christian “Purity Culture,” but the response to those flaws (usually by liberal Christians) is just as bad.

The liberal Christians, or others who are opposed to Christian sexual purity teachings, want to reject about any and all sexual boundaries, in the process of rebelling against Christian purity teaching.

However, not all of Christian purity teaching is bad – something the anti-Purity Culture advocates don’t want to admit or discuss.

As I’ve pointed out in older posts, the anti-Purity Culture movement ends up alienating and marginalizing any adults who do choose to remain celibate or virgins until marriage.

We’re living in an age and culture where a lot of us are demanded to respect any and all sexual behaviors, except for virginity and celibacy; those are mocked, as are those who practice them. The tolerance goes only one-way with many Anti-Purity Culture adherents.

(Link): Nadia Bolz-Weber’s Gospel of Shame-Free Sexuality 

By W. Hill, Feb 2019

Excerpts:

We can’t defeat shame by whittling down God’s law to fit our behavior. We need the good news of God’s forgiveness instead

….Doing Away with Absolution

Unfortunately, the pastor who talked up the liberation that comes from admitting you’re in the wrong now seems more interested in helping people understand why they don’t need to.

In her new book, Shameless: A Sexual Reformation, Bolz-Weber is out to set Christians free from the angst and humiliation churches have often foisted on them because of their sexual proclivities and behaviors.

But the way the book goes about doing so is by rejecting wholesale the idea of “sexual purity” and, with it, the need to confess sexual transgression.

Bride Discovers New Husband Has Micropenis On Honeymoon After He Refused to Have Sex Before Marriage

Bride Discovers New Husband Has Micropenis On Honeymoon After He Refused to Have Sex Before Marriage

(Link): Bride Discovers New Husband Has Micropenis On Honeymoon After He Refused to Have Sex Before Marriage

Feb 2019

The groom said he wanted to wait until after they were married to have sex because he was “old fashioned like that”

Nowadays, most couples get to know each other intimately before saying ‘I Do’ and tying the knot .

But some still stick to the tradition of no sex before marriage and save the special moment for their big day.

Despite not being religious, one couple decided to wait because the man claimed to be “old fashioned like that”.

But the bride now believes this wasn’t actually the case and that he made that up to avoid her discovering his micropenis before they were married.

The couple dated for a year before he popped the question, and married after a six month engagement.

She didn’t discover the micropenis until their wedding night, when they were already away on their honeymoon.

What Is The Right Age To Lose Your Virginity? – via BBC

What Is The Right Age To Lose Your Virginity? – via BBC

(Link): What Is The Right Age To Lose Your Virginity? – via BBC

Excerpts:

Having sex too soon is the biggest regret of young people losing their virginity, a survey of British sexual behaviour suggests.

More than a third of women and a quarter of men in their teens and early 20s admitted it had not been “the right time” when they first had sex.

People must be 16 or over to legally consent to sex.

The latest National Survey of Sexual Attitudes and Lifestyles poll says many people may not be ready at that age.

Male Teen Virgin Pays Prostitute For Sex, Now Says He’s in Love With Her (*Barf*)

Male Teen Virgin Pays Prostitute For Sex, Now Says He’s in Love With Her (*Barf*)

First, this news story is totally gross.
(I’m convinced this thing about teen boys losing their virginity to a hooker is less about their libido and probably has more to do with most cultures shaming anyone who is a virgin into their mid to late teens and adulthood.)

Secondly, he’s a naive idiot.

Notice the headline:

“Virgin, 16, ‘who won unlimited sex holiday falls in love with prostitute he slept with’”

He didn’t “sleep” with her. He paid her for sex. It was a business transaction.

Teacher Fired By Catholic School For Getting Pregnant Out of Wedlock (2018)

Teacher Fired By Catholic School For Getting Pregnant Out of Wedlock (2018)

I don’t understand these supposed Christian employers who fire women who get pregnant out of wedlock – I have other examples on this blog of this very thing.

First of all, I’ve never heard of a scenario where they fire the pregnant woman but do nothing to the man she slept with, which makes this a pretty one-sided, sexist action to take.

Secondly, most Christians claim to be pro-life. Would they prefer is women in these situations go to an abortion clinic and abort the baby?

I can a situation where a single woman, who needs her job to pay her bills, gets pregnant, but then panics, knowing her Christian employer may fire her for fornication, so keeping it a secret, she runs out and gets an abortion.

That is a possible scenario some of these Christian groups are putting women in. Is that really what they want?

(Link): Teacher Fired By Catholic School For Getting Pregnant Out of Wedlock

Dec 5, 2018
by Kristine Solomon

A respected English and creative writing teacher in Pennsylvania was fired on Friday from her job at the Catholic high school where she’s been employed for four years. Her transgression? Becoming pregnant while unmarried.

Naiad Reich was ready to start a family, and she planned the pregnancy to coincide with a June birth so she wouldn’t have to take maternity leave from her post at Our Lady of Lourdes Regional School in Coal Township, Pa., (Link): according to the Daily Item.

When she announced her happy news — and the clever timing — to Sister Mary Anne Bednar, though, the principal and administrator was less than impressed.

“Her response, honestly, is one that will sit with me for a very long time, because she was very displeased,” (Link): Reich told PennLive. “She said it would be a problem and she had to contact the diocese.”

By Friday, the Roman Catholic Harrisburg Diocese officials had reached a decision: Reich’s out-of-wedlock pregnancy was a violation of a morality clause in her contract. If Reich and her partner, Matt Graboski, had no plans to get married in the near future, (Link): according to ABC affiliate WNEP, she’d have to be let go.