Christian Virginity Peddlers Vs Muslims Who Molest Girls and The Liberals Who Look the Other Way 

Christian Virginity Peddlers Vs Muslims Who Molest Girls & The Liberals Who Look the Other Way 

I intended on making this blog post the other day but forgot. As I noted in one of my (Link): last posts, I have not visited SCCL (Stuff Christian Culture Likes) Facebook group since early June 2017 for reasons that are explained in that post.

A couple of weeks ago, someone in my Twitter shared a link to (Link): this page titled“Jodi Heckert Pledged to Protect His Daughter’s Virginity, Now in Prison For Child Molestation”

If you scroll to the bottom of that page, there is a line that reads:

“H/T Stuff Christian Culture Likes.”

[Hat Tip to Stuff Christian Culture Likes]

So, I take it that Stephanie Drury, maintainer of SCCL Facebook group, posted a link to that news story on her group for her members to mock and cluck in worry over. This same, group, though, which is largely comprised of liberals, does not like for Islam to be called out for infractions against girls, women, or for anyone, really.

When I mentioned in one of (Link): my other posts critical of SCCL that about any time I see a terrorist mentioned on the news, the terrorist almost always turns out to be a Muslim (yes, it’s true, (Link): most of them are), several of Drury’s SCCL readers had temper tantrums.

Before I continue, allow me to quote from liberal, atheist, and Democrat Camille Paglia here:

But today’s liberalism has become grotesquely mechanistic and authoritarian: It’s all about reducing individuals to a group identity, defining that group in permanent victim terms, and denying others their democratic right to challenge that group and its ideology.

… The reluctance or inability of Western liberals to candidly confront jihadism has been catastrophically counterproductive insofar as it has inspired an ongoing upsurge in right-wing politics in Europe and the United States.

Citizens have an absolute right to demand basic security from their government. The contortions to which so many liberals resort to avoid connecting bombings, massacres, persecutions, and cultural vandalism to Islamic jihadism is remarkable, given their usual animosity to religion, above all Christianity.

…Right now, too many secular Western liberals treat Islam with paternalistic condescension…

Source:

(Link): Camille Paglia: On Trump, Democrats, Transgenderism, and Islamist Terror

Paglia is one of the few left wingers I’ve seen who comprehends.

Islam is notorious for sexism. Many of their Imams teach it is acceptable for husbands to beat wives. Honor killings, where Muslim families will stone girls or women to death for being rape victims, are not uncommon. In some Islamic nations or cultures, women are not allowed to ride bicycles, wear skirts, or obtain educations. (Examples with links to news stories of all those mentioned (Link): here)

Continue reading “Christian Virginity Peddlers Vs Muslims Who Molest Girls and The Liberals Who Look the Other Way “

Christians Are Not Called to Have Amazing Sex by R Pietka, and the SCCL Push-Back

Christians Are Not Called to Have Amazing Sex by R Pietka – via Relevant Magazine, and the SCCL Push-Back

The essay “Christians Are Not Called to Have Amazing Sex” by Rachel Pietka was discussed over at Facebook group SCCL (Link): here a few days ago.

The consensus by the SCCL readership is that the page – by R. Pietka – is that it’s awful. Many in the SCCL thread did not approve of it or agree with it.

I don’t know why the SCCL readership largely condemned the page, because some of it is right in line with the ex-Christian, or liberal Christian views, about sex and sexual purity.

I’ll give you a long excerpt from the page before discussing it a bit more below:

(Link):  Christians Are Not Called to Have Amazing Sex by R Pietka

What Christians need to remember about God’s design for sex.

…While the [Christian based sexual abstinence] movement is great at detailing— and exaggerating—the benefits of saving sex for marriage, it is dishonest about the challenges abstinence presents to couples who eventually tie the knot.

…Jessica Ciencin Henriquez recently detailed how the abstinence movement affected her sex life and marriage in a revealing article titled, (Link): “My Virginity Mistake.”

Henriquez relays how she pledged herself to Jesus at a purity ceremony at age 14, remained a virgin until she married six years later, and wound up divorced after she and her husband could not make things work in the bedroom.

Looking back, Henriquez states if she had not insisted on waiting for sex until marriage, she could have prevented her divorce.

Henriquez’s story is important because it highlights an issue the abstinence movement rarely acknowledges: sexual incompatibility within marriage.

While this issue may seem irrelevant, it is actually fundamental to traditional Christian beliefs about sex. The fact that sexual compatibility does not matter to Christians when choosing a spouse makes the shocking and countercultural statement that sex is not our God.

Continue reading “Christians Are Not Called to Have Amazing Sex by R Pietka, and the SCCL Push-Back”

Single, Virgin Women Do Not Have Another Standard by Which to Be Saved, Contra Complementarian Group CBMW

Single, Virgin Women Do Not Have Another Standard by Which to Be Saved, Contra Complementarian Group CBMW

The Bible does teach that people should remain virgins until marriage, but oddly, some Christians do things like omit men from this teaching (as though virginity applies only to women).

In this case, they seem to be conflating being single, and a virgin, with receiving salvation, as though there’s some other standard by which others are saved. Christians also frequently make much too much out of the marriage analogy, in which they pretty much seem to suggest that a person has to be married (and having sex) to truly know God or be in relationship with God.

Via the Biblical Personhood blog:

(Link): Is “Biblical” manhood and womanhood compatible with the gospel of Christ?

The Biblical Personhood blog reproduces this quote from a Council for Biblical Manhood and Womanhood resource:

[from complementarian, CBMW, material:]

48. How can a Christian single woman enter into the mystery of Christ and the Church if she never experiences marriage?
[Their answer promotes offering your virginity to God. Nothing about becoming a Christian.] – CBMW, “Fifty Crucial Questions, Question 48

… The mystery of Christ and the church, likewise, is not about marriage or celibacy. Jesus loved you – male or female, single or married or divorced or widowed – first. Know you are loved by God, love God back, experience God’s love, and see how it never ends, and how it changes you to live for Him.

Continue reading “Single, Virgin Women Do Not Have Another Standard by Which to Be Saved, Contra Complementarian Group CBMW”

Talking With Both Daughters and Sons About Sex – article via NY Times

Talking With Both Daughters and Sons About Sex

You will notice that this study which is mentioned below describes how sexual stereotypes influence how parents teach their kids about sex: daughters (girls) are encouraged to be abstinent and to delay sex, but not boys.

I see this same exact (sexist) pattern among Christian families: Christians buy into secular stereotypes that girls should be as sexually pure as the freshly driven snow and Christians wrongly assume females lack a libido, but males are assumed to be sex-starved horn-dogs who lack control, and boys are not generally expected to remain celibate.

Ergo, females are taught in Christian sermons and other Christian content to sexually abstain. Christian boys don’t generally receive as much pressure or sermonizing on abstaining. There may be something “off” about Christian teachings about sex, since they are mirroring secular cultural assumptions about gender and sex in these matters.

On the other hand, regarding other (non sexual) topics, I can see how Christians might BENEFIT (or, ironically, be MORE in line with the Bible) if they went along with secular mores instead of with their incorrect biblical interpretation of some topics. But on this issue, they sound quite similar to secular culture, and are off they mark, I believe.

(Link): Talking With Both Daughters and Sons About Sex – via the New York Times

Excerpts:

Washington Post Editorial by Ruth Everhart: Virgin Mary Offends Rape Victims By Her Purity – and Re: Internalized Misogyny or Sexism

Washington Post Editorial by Ruth Everhart: Virgin Mary Offends Rape Victims By Her Purity

This anti-Purity Culture crusade has taken on new insane heights.

Sexual assault victims who write anti-Purity editorials keep confusing the issues of consensual sex with rape and wanting to toss out all of sexual purity teachings, which is in error. I have written of this phenomenon before, such as:

(Link): Confusing Sexual Assault and Sexual Abuse with Consensual Sex and Then Condemning Sexual Purity Teachings – and other, related topics

Related content by another author:

(Link):  We’re Casual About Sex and Serious About Consent. But Is It Working? by J. Zimmerman

Whether you like it or not, the Bible does say that Mary was a virgin, and that being a virgin is expected of both sexes unless or until a person marries.

I am over 40 yeas of age and am still a virgin – and I’m a woman. I was engaged to a man for a few years in my early 30s and had an opportunity to fornicate, but I resolved to wait until marriage. I broke things off with my ex and remain single to this day.

I do not appreciate anti-Virginity editorialists besmirching my choice to sexually abstain by belittling virginity itself, or by attributing my choice (made of my own free will) to “patriarchy.”

First, here are the pertinent links with excerpts, and I will resume my commentary below:

(Link): Our culture of purity celebrates the Virgin Mary. As a rape victim, that hurts me by Ruth Everhart, Dec 2016, Washington Post

Some guy wrote a brief rebuttal of sorts to that editorial:

(Link): Washington Post Editorial: Virgin Mary Offends Rape Victims By Her Purity

by THOMAS D. WILLIAMS, PH.D.
8 Dec 2016

In an article (Link): titled, “Our culture of purity celebrates the Virgin Mary. As a rape victim, that hurts me,” Ruth Everhart explains that especially in the Advent lead-up to Christmas, Mary becomes a problem for many Christians because of her pristine purity.

Mary “set an impossibly high bar,” Everhart writes. “Now the rest of us are stuck trying to be both a virgin and a mother at the same time.”

As a rape victim, this has been especially difficult for the author, she says, which led to her becoming a pastor, in order “to come to terms with Mary’s story.”

Everhart writes that she doesn’t blame her sense of ruin “entirely” on the Virgin Mary. In fact, it isn’t really Mary’s fault, she states; it’s the Church’s for manipulating Mary into a model of purity.

Continue reading “Washington Post Editorial by Ruth Everhart: Virgin Mary Offends Rape Victims By Her Purity – and Re: Internalized Misogyny or Sexism”

“‘I Kissed Dating Goodbye’ [Book] Told Me to Stay Pure Until Marriage. I Still Have a Stain on My Heart” – Regarding: Dating Book by Author Josh Harris (with other related links about the IKDG book) and Criticizing “Purity Culture”

“‘I Kissed Dating Goodbye’ [Book] Told Me to Stay Pure Until Marriage. I Still Have a Stain on My Heart” – Regarding: Dating Book by Author Josh Harris (with other related links about the IKDG book) and Criticizing “Purity Culture”

August 24, 2016 update: I added a new link at the bottom of this post: people continue to attack the idea of sexual purity by publicizing backlash against the Harris IKDG book.


I myself have never read the IKDB book, which was written by Harris. I have read about the book on other sites in the past, and it is my understanding the book discussed how to date, and other such topics, and is not strictly about sex or virginity.

The author uses this review of the IKDG book to bash “purity culture,” and in so doing, touches on the topic or staying chaste until marriage.

I am in the middle of this debate. I cannot completely agree with all the critics of “purity culture,” depending on what they are criticizing about it and why.

I believe that the Bible teaches both male and females are to sexually abstain until marriage, so I don’t believe in tossing out this teaching all because some young women feel they have been hurt or oppressed by it.

On the other hand, how some Christians have taught about sexual purity has been lop-sided – males are typically not addressed, only females – and Christians could do a better, or more sensitive job, in how they present the concept of remaining a virgin until marriage.

With that introduction, here is the link, with some excerpts (and note, I am not in complete agreement with all views in this piece; however, I’m not a supporter of a lot of Christian dating advice. Christian dating advice tends to act as an obstacle to singles who want to someday marry):

(Link): “‘I Kissed Dating Goodbye’ told me to stay pure until marriage. I still have a stain on my heart

Excerpts:

July 27, 2016

In 1997, Joshua Harris published “I Kissed Dating Goodbye,” a book that was in part a warning about the harm that relationships before marriage could cause. Harris evoked images of men at the altar bringing all their past partners with them into the marriage to reinforce the point that love and sex before marriage took pieces of your heart and made you less.

At the time, Harris was just 21, but he was already a rising star.

…He [Harris] was what we, as young evangelicals, wanted to be. And so we strove passionately to attain the ideal of premarital purity he laid out for us. Now, almost 20 years later, even Harris appears to be questioning whether his advice did more harm than good.

…But Harris’s book was hugely influential.

…On the surface, I am a purity-culture success story: I am a heterosexual woman, a virgin until marriage, now with two small children and a husband I deeply love. We attend church. We believe in God. And yet, for me, the legacy of purity culture is not one of freedom but one of fear.

Teenagers Given Condoms at School Likelier to Become Pregnant and get STDs / STIs: 2016 Study

Teenagers Given Condoms at School Likelier to Become Pregnant and Get STDs / STIs: 2016 Study

(Link): New Study Shows ’90s Era Condom Programs Increased Teen Fertility Rates

Excerpt:

  • by MICHAEL J. NEW
  • June 17, 2016
  • A new study by a pair of Notre Dame economists received some media attention this week. It found that school districts that instituted condom distribution programs in the early 1990s saw significant increases in the teen-fertility rate [as well as an increase in sexually transmitted diseases].

Continue reading “Teenagers Given Condoms at School Likelier to Become Pregnant and get STDs / STIs: 2016 Study”

I Waited to Have Sex Until I Was 26, And Now I Can’t Have an Orgasm (by a Woman Raised in Christian Purity Culture) – Provides Yet Another Reason to Ditch the Equally Yoked Teaching

I Waited to Have Sex Until I Was 26, And Now I Can’t Have an Orgasm (by a Woman Raised in Christian Purity Culture) – Provides Yet Another Reason to Ditch the Equally Yoked Teaching

—————————————

  • I would not be surprised if (Link): my Blog Stalker, John Morgan, still visits my blog (and sometimes my Twitter account) and steals links and story ideas to blog on at his blog. He’ll probably swipe the following story I found and feature it on his own blog.

—————————————–

I did not see an author’s name on this. It just says “Anonymous”

I have a few comments below this long excerpt:

(Link): I Waited to Have Sex Until I Was 26, And Now I Can’t Have an Orgasm (by a Woman Raised in Christian Purity Culture)

  • by Anonymous
  • May 27, 2016
  • I can’t even talk to my sister or some of my closest friends about it because they all still think I’m a virgin, living my life of purity for the Lord.
  •  ——–
  • I was raised in an almost cult-like Southern Reformed Baptist church. I was told that sex was wrong, lustful thinking was wrong, and basically anything that involved sex before marriage would send me straight to hell. It wasn’t until last year that I had the first physical step of courage to go against my upbringing and risk losing everyone around me to do what I thought was right and okay as a woman — not what I was told by evangelical men.

  • ….The church taught us that sex was one of the cardinal sins. Once defiled, always defiled. Women could not make decisions without a father or husband to do it for them, and how would we earn a husband if we were not pure?
  • They trained the young girls in our church, myself included, that we should live and die to find a husband. Education was fine, as long as it contributed to getting a husband. “Be fruitful and multiply” was the mantra.

  • I went along with this. It was all I knew, and I had no mother figure to tell me otherwise. As I grew older, though, I grew indignant of my small amount of options.

  • They told us to find a husband within the church, one who was “equally yolked,” but no man in the church chose from the church. They left the church to find wives and left a congregation of deserted and bewildered home-schooled hearts. Yet they were applauded for their fine, godly choices in women. Meanwhile, the women of the church were left to rot.

Continue reading “I Waited to Have Sex Until I Was 26, And Now I Can’t Have an Orgasm (by a Woman Raised in Christian Purity Culture) – Provides Yet Another Reason to Ditch the Equally Yoked Teaching”

Father Who Had Daughter Marry Her Rapist Sentenced to Jail

Father Who Had Daughter Marry Her Rapist Sentenced to Jail

Christians sure do go on and on about how the Nuclear Family is so important to culture – I’m here to say that being in a Nuclear Family did not protect this teen girl from statutory rape, or from her sicko father trying to marry her off to her rapist.

I’m sure there are plenty of single-parent families out there who don’t end up trying to marry their son or daughter off to that child’s rapist. So, Christians really need to drop the rhetoric about how Nuclear Families are the Cure for everything that ails society (not to mention the Bible does not teach this).

Christians: Stop spreading the falsehood that parenthood is necessary to make a person mature, ethical or godly – not only does the Bible not teach this, but real life examples show you it’s just not true. Such as.

(Link): Father Who Had Daughter Marry Her Rapist Sentenced to Jail

  • May 31, 2016
  • An Idaho man will spend about four months in jail for taking his pregnant 14-year-old daughter to Missouri and having her marry a 24-year-old family friend who had raped her.
  • The father pleaded guilty to injury to a child last week, and a judge put him behind bars for 120 days and ordered three years of supervised probation, the Idaho State Journal reported.

Continue reading “Father Who Had Daughter Marry Her Rapist Sentenced to Jail”

Newlywed Husband Divorces His Wife Hours After the Ceremony Because She Was Too Busy Texting Her Friends to Have Sex on Their Wedding Night

Newlywed Husband Divorces His Wife Hours After the Ceremony Because She Was Too Busy Texting Her Friends to Have Sex on Their Wedding Night

I was just remarking on my Twitter account about this that a lot of Christians, during sexual purity lectures, will promise people that if they abstain from sex until they marry that married sex will be regular and great.

Then you see news stories like this….

(Link): Newlywed husband divorces his wife hours after the ceremony because she was too busy texting her friends to have sex on their wedding night

I was engaged while in my early 30s. The doofus to whom I was engaged did not meet any of my needs – not emotional or otherwise (I blogged about that a bit more (Link): here). It got to the point I found watching TV preferable to the ex’s company. I got more happiness and meaning watching TV, reading books, or what have you, than from  him.

I recall reading a letter to Dear Abby or Ask Amy a few years ago (I might have posted this to this blog) from a husband who was perturbed that his wife spent all her time playing Farmville on Facebook rather than with him, and she seemed to prefer that to spending time with him.

Can I tell you, if you are a married guy, and your wife seems more interested in being online, or engaging in some other hobby to spending time with you, it’s more than likely due to the fact that she does not think you or your relationship is bad enough to leave, but she has to find other outlets to get her needs met because you are not meeting them.

Here are excerpts from

(Link): Newlywed husband divorces his wife hours after the ceremony because she was too busy texting her friends to have sex on their wedding night

  • Bride spurned groom’s advances when they got back to their hotel room
  • She said she wanted to reply to congratulatory text messages from friends
  • He snapped when she said that her friends were more important than him
  • A husband divorced his wife hours after their wedding because she was too busy texting her friends to consummate the marriage.

  • The groom took his Saudi bride back to their hotel room after the ceremony in the city of Jeddah.

  • But when he tried to get intimate with her, he was pushed away by his wife because she was trying to respond to congratulatory messages from friends on her phone.

  • She became angry when he asked her to stop.

  • A relative told Saudi daily Al Watan: ‘The groom tried to get closer with her and more intimate, but he was shocked when she ignored him, not responding to his words and action.

  •  ‘When he asked her if her friends were more important than he was, the bride answered that they were.’

  • The argument became heated and the groom stormed out of the hotel, telling his wife that he wanted a divorce.

  • Gulf News, which cited Al Watan, reported that a court had referred the case to a reconciliation committee, but the husband insisted on a divorce.

 

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Related Posts:

(Link):  Married Man in Sexless Marriage To A Woman Has Affairs With Another Married Man

(Link):  How My Wild Sex Drive Killed My Marriage – review by L. Crocker of book by R. Rinaldi

(Link): Jason the Christian’s Sexless Marriage – Christians promise hot regular steamy married sex but it isn’t true

(Link): Long Time Married Lady Wants to Know If She Can Have Affair Because Husband Has Not Been Spending Much Time With Her – Another example of why Christians need to teach that sexual purity is for all not just young singles

(Link): Getting Married Does Not Necessarily Guarantee Frequent Hot Satisfying Sexy Sex – Husband is Sexless for Eight Years (article)

(Link): Why Christians Need to Uphold Lifelong Celibacy as an Option for All Instead of Merely Pressuring All to Marry – vis a vis Sexless Marriages, Counselors Who Tell Marrieds that Having Affairs Can Help their Marriages

(Link): AARP post: How to Handle a Sexless Married Life – But Christians Promise You Great Hot Regular Married Sex

(Link): Married Woman Signing off as “Looking Ahead” Admits to Being in Sexless Marriage for TEN YEARS

(Link): More Married Couples Admit to Sexless Marriages (various articles) / Christians promise you great frequent sex if you wait until marriage, but the propaganda is not true

(Link): Wife Writes to Ask Amy About Her Sexless Marriage October 2013

(Link): Resident Christian Marriage Advice Writer at Christian Mag Admits Some Christian Marriages are Sexless

(Link): Her Marriage is Sexless While She Cares For Sick Elderly Father

 

Abstinence Groups: New Sex-Ed Study Misses Point of Urging Teens to Wait

Abstinence Groups: New Sex-Ed Study Misses Point of Urging Teens to Wait

(Link):  Abstinence Groups: New Sex-Ed Study Misses Point of Urging Teens to Wait

Excerpts:

  • By KILEY CROSSLAND
  • Posted May 11, 2016, 03:30 p.m.
  • Abstinence advocacy groups say a new (Link): study criticizing virginity pledges misses the point of abstinence education.

  • The study, “Broken Promises: Abstinence Pledging and Sexual and Reproductive Health,” published on the website of the Journal for Marriage and Family, reports that the vast majority of virginity pledgers break their promise to save sex for marriage.

Continue reading “Abstinence Groups: New Sex-Ed Study Misses Point of Urging Teens to Wait”

Conservatives, Christians, Transgenders, and Bathrooms – Addressing Libby Anne’s “Love, Joy, Feminism” Post About Transgenders

Conservatives, Christians, Transgenders, and Bathrooms – Addressing Libby Anne’s “Love, Joy, Feminism” Post About Transgenders

I really don’t feel like devoting too much time on my blog to the topic of Transgenderism.

To date, I’ve done only 2 or 3 posts on the subject, one defending transgender people from criticisms by some Southern Baptist guy, and another that is critical of the transgender phenomenon.

Much farther down this post, I address a recent post by Libby Anne (of the “Love, Joy, Feminism” blog on Patheos) that pertains to Christians, child sexual abuse, and Transgender persons and the bathroom debate.

I would say I am mostly on the conservative side of the Transgender issue but appreciate that some conservatives can be too harsh towards Transgender people and may find myself agreeing with liberals on some of their comments on this sort of topic.

In other words, this is another subject where I neither totally agree with either conservatives or liberals, and I think both sides make good points in favor of their positions, and both sides sometimes make bad, unfair, rude, or stupid points.

messyToilet
“Coming Soon To Women’s Restrooms Everywhere” – (image first discovered on James D. Nichols Twitter)

I see a lot of misunderstanding by liberals of the conservative position on Transgender people using public restrooms.

I can’t speak to every single conservative or Christian who is opposed to Trans people using bathrooms, but there is definitely one component of conservatives and Christians who aren’t opposed to Trans people using opposite gender bathrooms per se.

In my case (as a conservative), I don’t know if I care if a biological male who wears a skirt uses a woman’s bathroom or not – it might make me uncomfortable, but that is not my big problem with this issue.

My problem resides in the fact that – damn, I don’t know all the liberal alphabet soup labels they slap on everything, is it Hetero CIS men? – my problem is that Hetero CIS men who are rapists will PRETEND to be Trans women so that they can have access to more female victims.

Continue reading “Conservatives, Christians, Transgenders, and Bathrooms – Addressing Libby Anne’s “Love, Joy, Feminism” Post About Transgenders”

If You Were Sexually Abused, You Cannot Work At These Churches

Some churches are refusing to hire people who admit on their job applications to having been sexually abused

If You Were Sexually Abused, You Cannot Work At These Churches

Not only is child sexual abuse addressed on some of these employment forms, but according to these articles (links farther below), some churches ask applicants about their views on fornication, or if they’ve ever been accused of homosexuality.

I find this pretty hypocritical. If you’ve followed this blog before, you know I was waiting until marriage to have sex – as a result, I am now over 40 years of age and still a virgin, because I never married.

What I have observed as I’ve gotten older is that while many Christians pay “lip service” to respecting adult virginity or celibacy, that in practice, they do not.

Sometimes, some Christians (conservatives, no less, but also most progressives) ridicule and mock virginity, and they ridicule or put down adult virgins for being virgins. (Please see the links under the “Related Posts” at the bottom of this post for examples.)

Not only is there little to no philosophical, theological, or intellectual support for adult virginity (and by extension, adult singleness past one’s mid 20s or so), but there is no concrete support – churches and Christians seldom have ministries to meet the needs of adult single celibates.

There are rarely sermons preached on a regular basis on adult single celibacy – compare that to the topic of marriage. Most churches offer a “ten steps to a stronger marriage” type sermon series once every few weeks but never sermonize about singleness.

Continue reading “If You Were Sexually Abused, You Cannot Work At These Churches”

Virginity is a Sacred Choice, Not a Shameful Status by C. Martin / Giving Sex to a Man is Not A Relationship Lasting Guarantee Contra Comic Chelsea Handler

Virginity is a Sacred Choice, Not a Shameful Status by C. Martin / Giving Sex to a Man is Not A Guarantee for a Lasting Relationship – Contra Comic Chelsea Handler

The following blog post contains strong profanity in places and some frank sexual talk.
—————————————–
Not that I object to this editorial per se, but it’s being carried by the same site (a pro-life site) that (Link): usually denigrates female virginity – because they put too high a premium on people pro-creating, and if a woman is remaining chaste, she is, in their opinion, in sin, or error or some sort, for not having sex and making babies, because supposedly, a woman’s only purpose in life is to make babies (even though the Bible no where teaches this concept).

But here is a guest editorial they are featuring where the author is defending a person’s right to sexually abstain, and it’ okay.

(Link): Virginity is a Sacred Choice, Not a Shameful Status by C. Martin

Excerpts:

  • by C. Martin
  • Our society is obsessed with talking about sex, regardless if you’re having it or not. Take for instance the recent March (Link): cover of People magazine, which featured the title, “Bachelor’s Sean & Catherine, Waiting for Our Wedding night.”
  • To make things a bit clearer, they added below the title, “No sex until ‘I do.’” The cover may intrigue those who scratch their heads, wondering in earnest why anyone would (gasp) wait to have sex.

Continue reading “Virginity is a Sacred Choice, Not a Shameful Status by C. Martin / Giving Sex to a Man is Not A Relationship Lasting Guarantee Contra Comic Chelsea Handler”

Salon Author Amanda Marcotte Thinks Media Shouldn’t Judge Women’s Sexuality But She Has Mocked Women Over Their Sexual Choices Before (To Remain Virgins)

Salon Author Amanda Marcotte Thinks Media Shouldn’t Judge Women’s Sexuality But She Has Mocked Women Over Their Sexual Choices Before (To Remain Virgins)

My memory is a bit rusty here, but in a previous, older editorial on Salon, either Marcotte ridiculed women who choose to remain virgins until marriage, or, when she was mocking the concept of virgin- until- marriage, it escaped her notice that some women, of their own volition, choose to abstain until marriage.

I blogged about this before here, on my blog:

Either way it went, Marcotte ended up ridiculing the choice of some women to stay virgins until marriage – and some women do in fact choose to remain virgins until marriage, like this lady, who was in the media about a month ago:

This recent editorial at Salon, by Marcotte, is my reason for writing this blog post today:

(Link):  Now we’re leering at suicide bombers: The grotesque objectification of Hasna Ait Boulahcen by Amanda Marcotte

Here are a few excerpts from that page, about a woman terrorist who was blown up in Paris, France (I have some more comments below these excerpts):

  • by Amanda Marcotte
  • November 20, 2105
  • …But Boulahcen [woman terrorist] was female, and so the forces of sexual objectification are kicking in, creating a grotesque display.
  • …Both articles obsessively comb over every detail of Boulahcen’s pre-conversion life: Her partying, her drinking, the amount of sex they suspect she had, her clothes and even her “heavy makeup”, which both articles take pains to point out. It’s the same kind of thing you see these right wing rags doing day in and out, simultaneously inviting their audiences to leer at and sit in judgment of young women for their clothes, their sexual choices…

Continue reading “Salon Author Amanda Marcotte Thinks Media Shouldn’t Judge Women’s Sexuality But She Has Mocked Women Over Their Sexual Choices Before (To Remain Virgins)”

Are You Ashamed of Biblical Sexual Purity? by J. Slattery

Are You Ashamed of Biblical [Sexual] Purity? by J. Slattery

I agree with the author of this that the pendulum has swung too far in the other direction – people now a days seem to take some kind of pride or laissez faire attitude about being sexually promiscuous, while people who abstain are treated like freaks or losers.

On top of that, you have ex Christians or Christian feminists who depict any and all choices to remain sexually abstinent as evidence of the patriarchy, or as being somehow oppressive of women, so that virginity in women past their teens or twenties is cruelly and coldly ridiculed or dismissed.

I do recognize, as I have in much older posts, that yes, some Christians – the wacko, fringe cultic type groups – do make much too much out of female virginity (while simultaneously not emphasizing male virginity, which is hypocritical and sexist), and some of these fringe groups do turn virginity into an idol.

However, many to most Christians today represent all of sexual purity, celibacy, and virginity as having been made idols, and I totally disagree with this perspective. The majority of editorials I see, even on conservative Christian blogs, continually insist that sexual purity (which includes virginity) is of no import.

These blogs and articles that act as apologetics of fornication (and again, I am including conservative Christian sites and groups among these), regularly besmirch virginity and celibacy as being sexist in and of themselves, or as unfair to women, or as being nothing but products of the patriarchy. It never seems to occur to the people pushing these views that women such as myself find this anti-virginity, or anti-celibacy, rhetoric deeply insulting, as we mostly or fully voluntarily chose to abstain of our own free will.

I would say that, yes, the majority of Christians today are deeply ashamed of sexual purity, especially as presented in the Bible, and some of the rest are infuriated that it exists and find it insulting.

At any rate, here is a link to the page:

(Link): Are You Ashamed of Biblical Purity? by J. Slattery

Excerpts:

  • Sexual purity has been in the news a lot lately. A topic typically reserved for church groups has become of interest to the mainstream media. In a recent example, the television show The View picked up on the viral popularity of Brelyn Bowman, a 22-year-old who celebrated her purity on her wedding day by presenting a doctor’s certificate to her father. Actress Candace Cameron Bure drew scorn from the other women on the panel when she defended Bowman’s decision.
  • Whether or not you agree that social media is a place to document your virginity, it takes courage nowadays to voice a biblical view of sexuality. Remember the teasing that came Tim Tebow’s way when he voiced a commitment to sexual purity? Taking a public stand on sexual purity is about as popular killing kittens.
  • In a world in which sexual license is creating so much havoc, why is it taboo to be a proponent of God’s design for sexuality? In fact, educators who know the research about the effects of sex outside of marriage should be applauding the choice instead of mocking it. But even Christians have called into questions the importance of embracing a biblical sexual ethic.

Continue reading “Are You Ashamed of Biblical Sexual Purity? by J. Slattery”

“I’m Not Attracted to My Husband Anymore” – Christian advice column. I guess Christian married sex isn’t all it’s said to be by Christians

“I’m Not Attracted to My Husband Anymore” – Christian advice column. I guess Christian married sex isn’t all it’s said to be by Christians 

Christians often promise in their sexual purity literature, or sermons or speeches for teen and adult singles, that if singles save their virginity until marriage, that married sex will be great. It will be spectacular. It is implied also that married sex will be regular.

But then, you will occasionally see articles or editorials, like the one I’m posting here, to a page on Christianity Today by Dr. Slattery, where a Christian will belie this Christian propaganda by discussing sexual problems (or other types of problems) that occur in Christian marriages.

(Link):  “I’m Not Attracted to My Husband Anymore” by Dr. Juli Slattery

Excerpt:

  • But women also ask about seemingly less perilous obstacles to intimacy, and this is one of them. How can you be sexually intimate with a man you are no longer attracted to? Is it possible to have a great sex life when there is no chemistry?

Now there is something that is never (that I can recall) seeing in all my years of reading Christian literature about sexual purity, or listening to any sermons that mention the topic.

It’s always just assumed that if you stay a virgin until marriage, you will have no problems what-so-ever in the sex department.

But lo and behold if some Christian women do in fact look at their husband and find his balding head, beer gut, or bad hygiene, or whatever, total sexual turn-offs.

Yet another reason I find this admission interesting – that the doctor who wrote this advice column for a Christian publication is admitting that Christian women confide in her that they are no longer sexually and physically attracted to their husbands – is that much of conservative Christian teaching and biases about women, sex, dating, marriage, and all the rest, frequently assume that women (at least married ones) have no interest in sex, and that neither single nor married women care about what men look like.

Continue reading ““I’m Not Attracted to My Husband Anymore” – Christian advice column. I guess Christian married sex isn’t all it’s said to be by Christians”

Seven Lies That Purity Culture Teaches Women (via CBE blog)

Seven  Lies That Purity Culture Teaches Women

I do think there are problems with “purity culture,” but, I do not embrace the anti-purity culture’s tendency to diminish celibacy or virginity.

Anti Purity Culture individuals are so concerned to shore up the feelings of fornicators that they are willing to inadvertently “step on” the feelings of people who are virgins (or celibates), whether those virgins are 15 or 55 years old. I see this as being one big flaw with their stance.

Other than that sort of thing, I feel that most items on this list are pretty good. I have raised several of these same points on my blog a few times over the last few years.

(Link): Seven  Lies That Purity Culture Teaches Women by N. Collins

Excerpts

  • 1. Women are responsible for men’s sexual sin.
  • Purity culture claims that women’s bodies and clothing can cause men to “stumble” with lust. Rather than placing the responsibility for sexual thoughts or actions on the man or boy who enacts them, purity culture places the responsibility on the woman or girl being looked at and lusted after. It’s almost as if Jesus said, “If your eye causes you to sin, go and tell the thing you’re looking at to stop looking that way in front of your eye.”
  • 3. Women shouldn’t have sexual desire. 

Continue reading “Seven Lies That Purity Culture Teaches Women (via CBE blog)”

This Is Why Being a Nice Guy Just Isn’t Enough by E. Tatum / Double Standards By The Anti-Celibacy Crowd About Friendships and Sexualization of Everything

This Is Why Being a Nice Guy Just Isn’t Enough by E. Tatum / Double Standards By The Anti-Celibacy Crowd About Friendships and Sexualization of Everything

You’ll have to use the link below to read the entire page entitled, “This Is Why Being a Nice Guy Just Isn’t Enough”, because I don’t want to copy their entire post here on my blog.

One thing I want to point out is a bit of a double standard going on here.

First of all, I first became aware of this “Nice Guys” article by way of Facebook group SCCL (Stuff Christian Culture Likes). Sometimes I agree with some of this group’s views on some issues, sometimes I do not.

SCCL is a group that regularly mocks or criticizes the traditional Christian position of upholding or defending the notions of celibacy, or of being a virgin until marriage – sometimes these concepts are all lumped together by them, and by others elsewhere on the internet, under the term “purity culture”.

I have argued on my blog the last few years that it is possible to be celibate, to refrain from having sex, and for men and women to be platonic friends.

I have also argued that it is society, both secular culture, as well as conservative and progressive Christian culture, and most secular feminism, which perpetuates the sexualization all male-female relationships (or even male-male, or female-female relationships).

For doing all this, for defending my choice, or the choice of others to be celibate, and for pointing out that not everything in life has to be sexual or is about sex, I sometimes get insulted or mocked by other people on the internet.

Everyone from secular feminists, to ex-Christians, to conservative Christians, to atheists (yes, ’tis so, click here to read), to political liberals, to political conservatives insult me or ridicule me for all this.

All these groups, who normally loathe each other – the atheists cannot stand conservative Christians, the liberals don’t like the conservatives and so on- all never- the- less totally agree that there is something bad, wrong, or weird about adults who choose to stay celibate, whatever their reason.

All these disparate groups fight like cats on dogs on many other topics, but they all come into agreement on this: they despise and ridicule celibacy (and sometimes, asexuality).

Do these people in these groups ever stop to consider, “Hey, other groups I normally disagree with on fundamental life choices happen to share with me a suspicion, dislike, or fear of celibacy, does this mean something, like maybe I’ve been wrong in my views about celibacy?”

I think it does. That your arch enemy chooses to fight with you on all other issues yet mocks celibacy right along with you might indicate that both of you are either misinformed about celibacy or terribly biased against celibates. Yeah, you might want to ponder that one for awhile.

There are more comments by me below this long excerpt:

(Link): This Is Why Being a Nice Guy Just Isn’t Enough by E. Tatum

Excerpts:

  • There are a lot of really wonderful, well-intentioned men who have a difficult time understanding the difference between being nice to women and being an ally to women and women’s causes.
  • Then there are other men who pretend to be nice in order to validate their manipulation of women for sex and romance. These are the people who I like to refer to as Nice Guys.
  • While this article is dedicated to helping nice men become better feminist allies, I want to take a second to clarify the difference between an authentically nice guy and a Nice Guy.
  • (Link): Nice Guys, as many of you know, have become the object of  (Link): much loathing in feminist circles and among women and girls in general.Online, this is the guy who posts hashtags like #NotAllMen and (Link): #ReverseSexism, whenever we publish articles about (Link): street harassment,  (Link): rape culture, and (Link): male privilege.
  • He is the exaggeratedly faux timid (read: passive aggressive) dude who still complains about the girls that didn’t date him in high school on message boards and in every other status update.
  • Though the most stereotypical incarnation of the Nice Guy is a fedora-clad dudebro who spends too much time on Reddit and would probably push a six-year-old girl out of the way to get his hands on My Little Pony merchandise, the more garden-variety Nice Guy can be more difficult to spot. 
  • Basically, he’s anyone who regards sex as the ultimate goal of interacting with women, and in turn views the idea of a nonsexual friendship with a woman as an abysmal failure.
  • Trademarks of a Nice Guy include trying to guilt trip women into having sex, claiming that sex should be the inevitable reward for basic acts of friendship, and only being interested in building a friendship until the woman in question rejects them romantically.
  • When he gets rejected, he cites every single time they did something nice for her, repeatedly asks her out (as in stalks her), and calls her a coldhearted bitch if she refuses to magically reciprocate his feelings within an almost instantaneous period of time.
  • A Nice Guy™ truly cements his status as soon as he begins to complain that (Link): “women only date assholes.”

Continue reading “This Is Why Being a Nice Guy Just Isn’t Enough by E. Tatum / Double Standards By The Anti-Celibacy Crowd About Friendships and Sexualization of Everything”