Digital Disloyalty: Study Says Online Flirting Can Destroy Real-Life Relationships

Digital Disloyalty: Study Says Online Flirting Can Destroy Real-Life Relationships

(Link): Digital disloyalty: Study says online flirting can destroy real-life relationships

July 2022
by John Anderer

HERZLIYA, Israel — Some consider flirting harmless, but new research suggests flirting online can ruin a real-life relationship.

Scientists at Reichman University report flirty online interactions with someone who isn’t your romantic partner can have a subtle, unconscious effect on how that person perceives their real-life loved ones.

In other words, flirting online may lead to someone seeing their partner as less attractive.

Is Love At Sight Really Determined Within The First Two Minutes? by Amy McGorry

Is Love At Sight Really Determined Within The First Two Minutes? by A. McGorry

(Link): Is Love At Sight Really Determined Within The First Two Minutes?

Excerpts:

June 1, 2022

Study shows first date success depends on how well your bodies synchronize

by A. McGorry

Finding true love may actually be due to how well your body synch’s up with your partner, according to researchers from Jerusalem.

A recent study shows that mutual romantic interest and sexual attraction during a first date may not be left up to fate, but rather up to the couple’s bodies being in tune with each other, according to a recent study published in Scientific Reports.

“We found that successful dates are characterized by increased electrodermal synchrony in the first two minutes,” researchers stated in the published study.

Studies on Falling Out of Love and Breaking Up and How to Recover From a Break Up – Research by Dr. Helen Fisher

Studies on Falling Out of Love and Breaking Up and How to Recover From a Break Up – Research by Dr. Helen Fisher

(Link): A relationship expert reveals the best ways to get over someone

Helen Fisher, biological anthropologist and author of “Anatomy of Love,” says heartbreak has physiological effects on our minds and bodies. There’s a scientific reason it hurts so much.

(Link): Why Breaking Up is So Hard, and How to Cope

Excerpts:

by Kelsey Chun
Feb 2020

There’s science behind a broken heart—but recovery is possible

…  Research has shown why our biology makes breaking up so hard for us, but thankfully it has also provided some helpful tips on what to do if you find yourself in that situation.

… one can better understand the unfortunate aftermath if a romantic relationship should end; it’s something akin to a drug withdrawal. Dr. Fisher and her colleague Lucy Brown also did research on people’s brains after they had just been broken up with, and their findings are in line with Dr. Fisher’s previous research.

While looking at images of their exes during MRIs, three brain regions light up in these heartbroken people: the first is the same brain region that lights up when someone is in love.

Dr. Fisher explains the meaning of this in her TED talk [(Link): The Brain In Love], “When you’ve been dumped, the one thing you want to do is forget about this human being and then go on with your life, but no, you just love them harder.” That brain system is the reward system, and it only becomes more active when you can’t get what you want—a loving partner.

[Self Care Tips After a Break Up]

…While manicures and shopping sprees are certainly nice, real self-care is about taking care of your own emotions, which often looks like being kinder rather than harsher with yourself, letting yourself cry, or saying “no” to activities that might overwhelm you more easily.

On the other hand, self-care might also include doing more, such as getting involved in more activities, hobbies, or projects.

American Romance Standards Are Changing as People Have Less Sex and Marriage Rates Drop

American Romance Standards Are Changing as People Have Less Sex and Marriage Rates Drop 

(Link): American Romance Standards Are Changing as People Have Less Sex and Marriage Rates Drop 

Priorities for couples on Valentine’s Day have also shifted, while some people who are single say the holiday brings too much pressure

By Maria Pasquini
February 14, 2022

Although American adults are having less sex and exchanging less rings than they once did, romance isn’t dead — and neither is relationship satisfaction.

In 2021 findings reported by (Link): CNN, nearly 26% of adults said they (Link): didn’t have sex once over the past 12 months, according to the General Social Survey.

The results were up from 23.3% in 2018 and 22.5% in 2016, which were the last two times the recurring survey had been completed.

In contrast, when the survey was conducted 20 years earlier, only 18.7% of adults reported not having any sex.

The Washington Post previously reported that the change has been most pronounced in younger adults. Between 2008 and 2018, the percentage of Americans between the ages of 18 to 29 not having sex doubled. (Meanwhile, numbers for adults over the age of 50 have (Link): stayed largely consistent since 1989.)

As a possible explanation behind the data, Jean Twenge, a professor of psychology at San Diego State University, told the newspaper at the time that “there are more people in their twenties who don’t have a live-in partner…so under those circumstances I think less sex is going to happen.”

In their most recent survey, GSS also reported that the number of adults with a live-in partner has continued to decrease.

Although 70% of respondents said they were living in the same house as their spouse in 1989, only 48% of American adults reported being in the same situation in 2021.

The number of adults who said they did not have a steady partner has also increased in that time period, reaching 30% last year.

However, the good news is that the majority of adults who are in relationships report feeling romantically satisfied with their partner.

….However, whether you’re single or in a relationship, recent surveys all show that people are less into celebrating Valentine’s Day the traditional way.  

Progression Bias: Your Dating Standards are Likely Lower Than You Think

Progression Bias: Your Dating Standards are Likely Lower Than You Think

(Link): Progression bias: Your dating standards are likely lower than you think

Excerpts:

January 13, 2022

We seem to have a “progression bias” that nudges us toward pro-relationship decisions and away from breaking up.

…One fundamental assumption underlying the idea that it’s harder to start a relationship holds that people are generally picky when dating.

Whether it is having checklists or deal-breakers, people tend to conceptualize dating as a trial period for assessing their partner for a more serious long-term relationship. And it is, to some extent.

But a recent review suggests we might not be as selective as we think. Published in the journal (Link): Personality and Social Psychology Review, the paper offers evidence that people are more likely to make pro-relationship decisions at nearly every step of a relationship — from agreeing to a first date to maintaining a marriage — even at points where we might think our selectiveness would nudge us toward breaking up. 

Study Finds Women Are Less Likely to Date Men Who Pose With Cats in Their Dating Profiles​

Study Finds Women Are Less Likely to Date Men Who Pose With Cats in Their Dating Profiles​

(Link): Single men with cats less likely to find love on dating apps, study finds 

(Link): Study Finds Women Are Less Likely to Date Men Who Pose With Cats in Their Dating Profiles​

“Men holding cats were viewed as less masculine; more neurotic, agreeable, and open; and less dateable,” the authors of the study wrote

By Claudia Harmata
June 22, 2020 03:55 PM

A new study conducted by researchers at Colorado State University has found that women are less likely to swipe right on men if they’re posing with a cat in their dating profiles.

The researchers showed a total of 708 women — aged between 18 and 24 — photos of two men, both posed in two separate photos. One showed them with a cat and the other had them posed without one.

Finding A Balance: Alone Time More Important For Relationships Than Dates, Survey Says

Finding A Balance: Alone Time More Important For Relationships Than Dates, Survey Says

(Link): ‘Me-time’ is more important for a healthy relationship than date nights

(Link): Finding A Balance: Alone Time More Important For Relationships Than Dates, Survey Says

Excerpt:

NEW YORK — How important is some “me-time” to you when it comes to romance? A recent survey of 2,000 Americans finds that a substantial 85% believe that being allowed ample time to themselves is key for a healthy relationship — even more so than going on dates!

 In fact, 41% said they would actuallybreak up with their romantic partner if they didn’t leave them alone from time to time.

High Schoolers Who Don’t Date Are Less Depressed Than Their Counterparts Who Do (2019) Study Says

High Schoolers Who Don’t Date Are Less Depressed Than Their Counterparts Who Do (2019) Study Says

(Link): High Schoolers Who Don’t Date Are Less Depressed Than Their Counterparts Who Do Study Says

Kirsi Goldynia, CNN
Updated 2:45 PM ET, Wed September 11, 2019

(CNN)Dating is a normal part of adolescence — and a formative one at that. Decades of research have suggested a link between romantic relationships and identity development as teenagers mature into young adults.

But a recent study published in the Journal of School Health reveals that adolescents who choose not to date fare as well as, or better than, their coupled counterparts in social and leadership skills.

They’re also less depressed.

Women Bored By Monogamy Says Study by W. Martin

Women Bored By Monogamy Says Study by W. Martin

(Link): The Bored Sex

Excerpts:

February 2019

Women, more than men, tend to feel stultified by long-term exclusivity—despite having been taught that they were designed for it.

…Marta Meana of the University of Nevada at Las Vegas spelled it out simply in an interview with me at the annual Society for Sex Therapy and Research conference in 2017. “Long-term relationships are tough on desire, and particularly on female desire,” she said.

I was startled by her assertion, which contradicted just about everything I’d internalized over the years about who and how women are sexually.

Somehow I, along with nearly everyone else I knew, was stuck on the idea that women are in it for the cuddles as much as the orgasms, and—besides—actually require emotional connection and familiarity to thrive sexually, whereas men chafe against the strictures of monogamy.

 But Meana discovered that “institutionalization of the relationship, over familiarity, and desexualization of roles” in a long-term heterosexual partnership mess with female passion especially—a conclusion that’s consistent with other recent studies.

In Which U.S. Cities Do The Majority of Single Christians – Specifically Those Who Regularly Attend Church – Live? by B. Showalter

In Which U.S. Cities Do The Majority of Single Christians – Specifically Those Who Regularly Attend Church – Live? by B. Showalter

There have been so many articles released this past week pertaining to the topics I normally blog about here, I can barely keep up. Here’s another one.

The second article below is from The Christian Post (as I said below the Tweet of this that was put out by The Christian Post: “Does it really matter since most churches do not have over 30s age singles groups and/or they insult singles for being single?”)

(Link): Single Practicing Christians Tend to Be in Big Cities – via Barna

(Link): In which U.S. cities do the majority of single Christians – specifically those who regularly attend church — live?

Excerpts:

by B. Showalter, Feb 2019

Which U.S. cities do the majority of Christian singles call home?

The majority of Christian singles tend to dwell in large East Coast cities, according to Barna.

In a study (Link): released this week, researchers unpacked how much the dating and relationship landscape has changed in the U.S. Barna has consistently tracked for many years the relationship status of practicing Christians — defined as those who attend a religious service at least once a month, self-identify as Christian, and say their faith is important to them.

Special Report: The Gamification of Courtship

Special Report: The Gamification of Courtship

(Link): Special Report: The Gamification of Courtship

Excerpts:

The gamification of courtship has gone global, from viral matchmaker shows in China to Tinder users who don’t stop swiping even after finding love.

The big picture: Apps are the new norm in dating. But the hyper-personalized and endless choices enabled by technology may actually be making it more difficult to meet “the one.”

Gamification is now built into dating:

• TV series like “The Bachelor,” China’s “If You Are the One” and Britain’s “Love Island” have played off cultural courting traditions to create popular, dramatic and competitive game shows.
• In apps, the format of swiping can intensify pleasurable chemical reactions in the brain and the “infinite scroll” persuades users to continue swiping into perpetuity.
• With almost endless options for partners, dating has become about “fast sex, slow love,” Helen Fisher, chief scientific advisor for Match.com told Axios.

Relationships Don’t Work If Salaries Don’t Match by Tyler Schmall

Relationships Don’t Work If Salaries Don’t Match by Tyler Schmall

(Link): Relationships Don’t Work If Salaries Don’t Match

Excerpts:

Before getting serious with a new partner, you may want to check their paystubs.

According to new research, relationships are incompatible if there’s a $36,000 disparity in salary.

The fascinating new statistic emerged in a new study of 2,000 single Americans examining all things dating including the role finances play when entering into a new relationship.

Respondents were asked to assess where they feel a disparity in income actually leads to incompatibility. A nearly $40,000 difference in earnings was named as the point at which such a difference in earning becomes problematic while dating.