views and thoughts on topics, especially ones pertaining to christianity – with an emphasis on how most christians either ignore or discriminate against unmarried christians – and how christians have turned marriage and parenting into IDOLS and how there is no true support for sexual purity, virginity, or celibacy among christians – this is a blog for me to vent; I seldom permit dissenting views. I don't debate dissenters ————-
TikTok’s ‘Nurse Holly’ Facing Ridicule for Encouraging Abstinence Until Marriage
As I said about this headline on Twitter yesterday:
In today’s “anti slut shaming” and “pro sex positive, virginity is a social construct” (no, it’s not) society, every sexual behavior choice is supported EXCEPT FOR abstinence, which is mocked by both liberals AND many conservatives
The nurses who criticized “Nurse Holly” for her abstinence, as a group, (Link): are hypocrites. Why do I say that? Because some of them mock women virgins for being virgins when they come in for health screenings.
I can just imagine me, a 40-something virgin, going in to see one of these “sex positive, no slut shaming” nurses as part of a medical visit and them possibly finding out during questioning I’m still a virgin, and I’m sure they’d either roll their eyes or act incredulous or mock me for it – I had an experience like that in my late twenties when I had to see a doctor.
“Nurse Holly” has amassed quite the following on TikTok. She uses her incredibly popular account to talk — and joke — about her career in the medical field. But now she’s facing scorn because she encouraged her 1.7 million followers to wait until they’re married to have sex.
In the video, which has since been deleted, Holly promoted the message, “The best way to prevent STDs is waiting for sex until marriage. Just the truth.”
Holly’s argument is airtight — if you don’t have sex until you’re married to your partner, the likelihood of contracting an STI is greatly decreased. But that (Link): didn’t stop other nurses from dragging her on Twitter.
Women Being Slut Shamed, Virgin Shamed, or Celibate Shamed at The Doctor’s Office
So, I saw a headline go through my Twitter feed a few weeks ago about a woman who says while on a trip to the doctor’s office to get a check up, she was “slut shamed” by a nurse practitioner at that appointment. (The link to that is towards the bottom of this post.)
I don’t doubt her experience, but I chipped in under that Tweet or another related to mention that as a chaste woman – I’m over 45 and still a virgin myself – I had the same exact thing happen to me, but in the reverse, when I was in my mid or late 20s and had to see a doctor to get blood tests done (over a non-sexual related medical issue).
The doctor I saw at my appointment sort of “Virgin-Shamed” me at that time.
We’re all the time hearing about “Slut Shaming” in our culture, but there is far more Celibacy- and Virgin- Shaming taking place than Slut Shaming.
However, I don’t very often see feminists discussing Virgin-Shaming nearly as much.
As a matter of fact, some feminists who are always complaining about “slut shaming” participate in Celibate-Shaming, or Virgin-Shaming (and sadly, other conservatives also participate in virgin shaming or celibate shaming as well, though many conservatives CLAIM to respect sexual abstinence – but they really do not).
The lady doctor I saw when I was in my mid to late 20s said in addition to running the tests I was in to see her for that day (and I don’t recall now what they were, only that the tests were not related to anything of a sexual nature), she also wanted to run sexually transmitted disease tests on my blood samples to make sure I did not have any sexually transmitted diseases.
I laughed and told her that would be a waste of her time and the lab’s time, as I was still a virgin.
I was reserving sexual activity for marriage. I’ve never had sexual intercourse. I was expecting to be married but never found Mr. Right.
I do have a libido.
Contrary to what Christians ASSUME about older virgins, Celibacy, being sexually abstinent for as long as I’ve been, is not “a gift” where God granted it to me and supernaturally removed my libido and makes it easy-breezy to cope with.
For many years, I was dedicated to remaining a virgin until marriage, due to Christian ethics, (these days I’m semi-agnostic), but also due to other reasons as well, which I shall not get into here but have explained in older posts on the blog.
In the last ten or so years, I’ve seen a disturbing trend where secular, liberal feminist views about sex have trickled into liberal Christian corners, where there is much railing against “slut shaming” and there is strong opposition to judging any woman for her sexual behavior or choices.
This trend became so common that these same views, disturbingly, began appearing on liberal Christian blogs and sites, whose progressive, feminist, Christian authors began writing editorials saying virginity is of no import, God only cares about your heart and spiritual purity, and God does not care so much anyone’s sexual behavior, (Link): intact hymen, or sexual past.
This anti- sexual purity thinking (which includes the down-playing, condemning, or mocking of physical virginity and adult celibacy) has even crept into mainstream moderate- to- conservative churches and Christian writing and thinking, unfortunately.
Christian Virginity Peddlers Vs Muslims Who Molest Girls & The Liberals Who Look the Other Way
I intended on making this blog post the other day but forgot. As I noted in one of my (Link): last posts, I have not visited SCCL (Stuff Christian Culture Likes) Facebook group since early June 2017 for reasons that are explained in that post.
A couple of weeks ago, someone in my Twitter shared a link to (Link): this pagetitled, “Jodi Heckert Pledged to Protect His Daughter’s Virginity, Now in Prison For Child Molestation”
If you scroll to the bottom of that page, there is a line that reads:
“H/T Stuff Christian Culture Likes.”
[Hat Tip to Stuff Christian Culture Likes]
So, I take it that Stephanie Drury, maintainer of SCCL Facebook group, posted a link to that news story on her group for her members to mock and cluck in worry over. This same, group, though, which is largely comprised of liberals, does not like for Islam to be called out for infractions against girls, women, or for anyone, really.
When I mentioned in one of (Link): my other posts critical of SCCL that about any time I see a terrorist mentioned on the news, the terrorist almost always turns out to be a Muslim (yes, it’s true, (Link): most of them are), several of Drury’s SCCL readers had temper tantrums.
Before I continue, allow me to quote from liberal, atheist, and Democrat Camille Paglia here:
But today’s liberalism has become grotesquely mechanistic and authoritarian: It’s all about reducing individuals to a group identity, defining that group in permanent victim terms, and denying others their democratic right to challenge that group and its ideology.
… The reluctance or inability of Western liberals to candidly confront jihadism has been catastrophically counterproductive insofar as it has inspired an ongoing upsurge in right-wing politics in Europe and the United States.
Citizens have an absolute right to demand basic security from their government. The contortions to which so many liberals resort to avoid connecting bombings, massacres, persecutions, and cultural vandalismto Islamic jihadism is remarkable, given their usual animosity to religion, above all Christianity.
…Right now, too many secular Western liberals treat Islam with paternalistic condescension…
Paglia is one of the few left wingers I’ve seen who comprehends.
Islam is notorious for sexism. Many of their Imams teach it is acceptable for husbands to beat wives. Honor killings, where Muslim families will stone girls or women to death for being rape victims, are not uncommon.
In some Islamic nations or cultures, women are not allowed to ride bicycles, wear skirts, or obtain educations. (Examples with links to news stories of all those mentioned (Link): here)
Some Dude Lost His Virginity at Age 27 and Wants to Reassure Others It’s Okay to be a Virgin Later in Life. My Thoughts.
I’m in my mid-40s and still a virgin. I was engaged to a guy in my early 30s but broke things off because my ex was a stupid, selfish idiot. I have a normal libido. However, I was committed to staying a virgin until marriage, so the ex and I never consummated the relationship.
The older I get, the more annoyed or bemused I am by these stories I see online, where some woman or man tries to cheer on other people by saying, “And I didn’t lose my virginity until the ripe old age of 27!” (I think this article says the guy who wrote it is now age 44 or 42.)
Well, okay, but also, big fat deal. I’m in my 40s and still a virgin. I have met men and women on other sites who are age 50 and older and still virgins. So excuse me for not being blown away by some guy who is all, “And I didn’t start porking around until my late 20s.”
In the years I’ve been writing at this blog (and in years before that), I’ve seen so many people regret sex (they say as much in magazine articles, on blogs, and people I’ve talked to face to face). So many people feel pressured into having sex, so they end up having sex with an idiot or jerk, they regret it, or the sex they finally end up having (Link):is gross or (Link): terrible.
This is from a British paper, so I assume this guy is famous in the UK (I’ve never heard of him before):
Too Cool for School: The Ex, Quasi, or Liberal Christians (and Atheists) Who Think Their Snarkiness Against Christians Makes Them Clever (But It Doesn’t)
This post contains some vulgar language.
edited to add: I’ve already been told by two different people that this post is too long. Sorry, being concise has never been a talent of mine.
Someone also informed me that this blog post of mine has been linked to at a sub thread on Reddit (Link): here / on (Link): Reason and Faith on Reddit
Someone in that Reddit thread thinks my title of this post is “an atrocity,” but I feel it pretty much accurately sums up what I’ve seen online the last decade or more
In my faith crisis of the last few years, I’ve visited more sites, blogs, groups, and forums that are critical of Christians or Christianity. I sometimes find myself agreeing with some of their criticisms of evangelical, Protestant Christianity (sometimes not).
One of the recurrent tendencies that crops up in such blogs, forums, and groups that disturbs or annoys me (or has me doing a lot of eye rolls) are that many of the people who post to these types of groups act as though they are Too Cool for School.
WashPost Columnist: ‘Ghostbusters’ Haters Are ‘Virgin Losers’ – (via NewsBusters Site); Both the Right and Left Wing Get Some things Wrong About This
This story comes from NewsBusters, which is discussing a column written for Washington Post newspaper by columnist Kristen Page-Kirby about the new Ghostbusters movie.
The original Ghostbusters movie, released in the 1980s, contained four male leads. The reboot version of the movie, which was released July 15, 2016, contains four women leads instead.
Unfortunately, over a year or more ago, when news came out that there would be four women leads in the film, some of the sexist jerkwads who inhabit the internet started lambasting the movie all over You Tube, Twitter, and where ever else – not because the move was bad (it wasn’t even released yet), but because they were incensed that Hollywood was cramming some form of feminism down their throats.
Interestingly, I didn’t see as much backlash over the main character of the new Star Wars film, “Star Wars: The Force Awakens” being a woman – Rey.
At any rate, I will be discussing two or three different topics in this post that are related to this new film, or mentioned by the conservative essayist at the NewsBusters site.
This is another story where I am in the middle. I can’t say as though I’m completely on one side or another in regards to some aspects of this story, depending on what is under discussion.
I am currently a moderate right-winger (I used to be more to the right than I am currently. In the last few years, I’ve been reconsidering if some of my former political and Christian beliefs are wrong.)
I’ve been more open the last few years to hearing the criticisms and views of liberals and Non-Christians – which is not to say I agree with everything I see left wingers and Non-Christians espousing or arguing in favor of.
I sometimes think secular, liberal feminists have good points on some topics, but I normally disagree with them.
As far as the Ghostbusters film reboot is concerned, I do think some of the backlash against the movie does in fact stem from sexism. But then, I do think some people may honestly feel that the movie is genuinely bad due to having a poor story line, or what have you.
I have not seen the movie yet. I don’t go to movie theaters that much anymore.
I usually wait until movies air on cable television; I’m willing to bet that this Ghostbusters reboot will probably be shown on F/X channel, or SyFy, or some other cable network in the next two years, and I have cable television, so I don’t know if I want to invest my time and cash into driving down to a theater to see this, since it will eventually be on television.
I saw the original Ghostbusters in a movie theater when it was in theaters in the 1980s. I was a kid at the time.
The original was okay, it was quite enjoyable and plenty of fun, but it was no movie masterpiece, so to all the men online who were griping about the reboot featuring all women leads: get the hell over it already.
And yes, you were, or are, being sexist douche bags about it. I don’t buy for a moment that ALL male griping about the film is based on non-sexist reasons, like shoddy trailers, or supposed poor CG work.
The vast majority of the professional reviews (and I have read a ton of them) for the new Ghostbusters film have deemed it “okay.” -Not terrible. Not great. But just “meh.” It’s so-so, most reviews have said.
What I don’t appreciate is that the columnist for WaPo who was discussing male backlash about the movie is using virginity as an insult.
Some churches are refusing to hire people who admit on their job applications to having been sexually abused
If You Were Sexually Abused, You Cannot Work At These Churches
Not only is child sexual abuse addressed on some of these employment forms, but according to these articles (links farther below), some churches ask applicants about their views on fornication, or if they’ve ever been accused of homosexuality.
I find this pretty hypocritical. If you’ve followed this blog before, you know I was waiting until marriage to have sex – as a result, I am now over 40 years of age and still a virgin, because I never married.
What I have observed as I’ve gotten older is that while many Christians pay “lip service” to respecting adult virginity or celibacy, that in practice, they do not.
Sometimes, some Christians (conservatives, no less, but also most progressives) ridicule and mock virginity, and they ridicule or put down adult virgins for being virgins. (Please see the links under the “Related Posts” at the bottom of this post for examples.)
Not only is there little to no philosophical, theological, or intellectual support for adult virginity (and by extension, adult singleness past one’s mid 20s or so), but there is no concrete support – churches and Christians seldom have ministries to meet the needs of adult single celibates.
There are rarely sermons preached on a regular basis on adult single celibacy – compare that to the topic of marriage. Most churches offer a “ten steps to a stronger marriage” type sermon series once every few weeks but never sermonize about singleness.
Virginity is a Sacred Choice, Not a Shameful Status by C. Martin / Giving Sex to a Man is Not A Guarantee for a Lasting Relationship – Contra Comic Chelsea Handler
The following blog post contains strong profanity in places and some frank sexual talk. —————————————–
Not that I object to this editorial per se, but it’s being carried by the same site (a pro-life site) that (Link): usually denigrates female virginity – because they put too high a premium on people pro-creating, and if a woman is remaining chaste, she is, in their opinion, in sin, or error or some sort, for not having sex and making babies, because supposedly, a woman’s only purpose in life is to make babies (even though the Bible no where teaches this concept).
But here is a guest editorial they are featuring where the author is defending a person’s right to sexually abstain, and it’ okay.
Our society is obsessed with talking about sex, regardless if you’re having it or not. Take for instance the recent March (Link): cover of People magazine, which featured the title, “Bachelor’s Sean & Catherine, Waiting for Our Wedding night.”
To make things a bit clearer, they added below the title, “No sex until ‘I do.’” The cover may intrigue those who scratch their heads, wondering in earnest why anyone would (gasp) wait to have sex.
An Example of Mocking Adult Virginity Via Twitter (Virginity Used As Insult)
I follow different types of accounts on Twitter (I’m on Twitter (Link): here), some of the accounts I follow are right wing, some left wing, mostly religious based, but I do follow a small number of political accounts.
While scrolling through my feed today, I saw an exchange between a right wing guy, Cloyd Rivers, and a guy who is a socialist, Feel The Bernie.
You can view a screen shot of their tweets (Link): here.
Here is what they tweeted at one another:
Feel the Bernie to Cloyd Rivers:
I imagine whoever is running this account has never had sex let alone touched a woman
Cloyd Rivers reply to Feel the Bernie:
I imagine whomever is running a Bernie Sanders account has never had a real job, let alone paid taxes.
I’m not terribly interested in the political wrangling going on there.
I just wanted to note that in the course of debating a political subject, someone out there felt it acceptable to make fun of another guy based on his supposed lack of sexual experience or sexual activity. As though being celibate or a virgin is a shameful, horrible thing.
Viral Virgin Brelyn Bowman Talks Purity Backlash From Christians, New Book ‘No Ring, No Ting’ (Interview)
I agree that those Christians (or ex Christians) who are opposed to sexual purity (virginity) lifestyles or teachings have gone overboard with it – as have some secular liberals.
Women (or men) who, of their own freewill, choose to abstain sexually are mocked or ridiculed for abstaining. (I have links with examples to this under the “Related Posts” section at the end of this post).
I think it’s very hypocritical for people to champion all sexual behaviors or choices of women EXCEPT FOR staying a virgin until marriage. Celebrity women can yak all day long about their sexual conquests on Twitter or in interviews, and nobody raises a fuss – but the moment a woman makes public that she’s waiting until marriage (or a serious relationship) to have sex, she will be faced with a lot of ridicule and criticism. Even by so-called feminists, who claim to respect all sexual choices of women.
I have blogged about this woman previously (Link): here.
Brelyn Bowman says she wasn’t surprised that people in the secular world disapproved of her posting a gynecologist’s purity certificate on social media after her wedding day last year. But she was shocked by the backlash that came from Christians.
The 23-year-old wife of gospel singer Tim Bowman Jr. says she made the decision to honor God by abstaining from sex until her wedding day. Soon after she proudly announced to the world on Instagram that she had remained a virgin until her wedding day by showing the certificate she presented to her father, a number of Christians responded in anger.
Bowman told The Christian Post that she was mostly surprised that many of those who left negative comments about her decision to show her father the results of her gynocological exam that revealed she was still a virgin before her wedding day identified as Christians.
“That’s what I couldn’t understand. So it was kind of like, why do we, as Christians, bash one another instead of protect one another and spread the message of God to those who may not understand?” she questioned.
“It’s OK for a girl who gets pregnant out of wedlock to say ‘OK, I’m pregnant’ and we celebrate the baby. But it’s not OK to say ‘Hey, I’m a virgin.'” she asserted. “Maybe the certificate wasn’t right, but neither was her getting pregnant. We still celebrate the baby.”
Non-Romantic Nearness, The Billy Graham Rule, and Pope John Paul’s Friendship With a Married Woman
Apparently, Pope John Paul II had a long term, platonic friendship with a married woman named Anna-Teresa Tymieniecka.
First, I will list an assortment of news articles summarizing the former Pope’s relationship with this woman –
And then I will link to (much farther down this page) a really good blog post by a Christian, Dan J. Brennan, who criticizes other Christians who sexualize all male-female relationships or who discourage male-female friendship.
He is against the BGR (Billy Graham Rule), which teaches Christian men to sexually objectify ALL women, even celibate Christian women and keep single women at arm’s length.
Letters shown to the BBC by the National Library of Poland have revealed an intense 30-year relationship between former Pope, John Paul II, and philosopher, Anna-Teresa Tymieniecka. There is no suggestion the late pontiff broke his vow of celibacy with Tymieniecka, a married woman.