Dear Abby: As Boyfriend Loses Hair, I Lose Interest

Dear Abby: As Boyfriend Loses Hair, I Lose Interest

Secular culture would have you believe that men care about looks in women, while women supposedly only care about money or emotional support from a man, and to that I say: FALSE.

Christians, specifically, Christian gender complementarians, ratchet this up to really emphasize the point.

I’ve heard or seen so many male Christian complementarians (and occasionally, a few women complementarians) hype up this supposed idea that God created men to be “visual,” so they will shame and badger women to stay skinny, diet, exercise, and wear make-up all the time.

The truth is, women are every bit as “visual” as men are. Most hetero women dig a hot, sexy man every bit as much as some hetero men appreciate a hot, sexy woman.

However, complementarians will seldom lecture or advise men to lose weight, go to the gym and work out, or get a toupee if they’re balding.

I think the differences is that most women are willing to cut men slack where as the reverse is not true.

I mean, a woman may prefer a hot, studly looking man, but, if you’re tubby, bald, or sort of ugly she might still be willing to date you if you bring “something else to the table” – such as a lot of money, a steady income, a great sense of humor, intelligence, dependability, or what have you.

I think most women are more wiling to take trade-offs in the “looks” and sex appeal department than most men are.

Other than that, most of both sexes prefer people who are easy on the eyes, but this sexist, irritating stereotype that only men care about looks and only women care about romance (or emotions) persists.

Here is an example of a woman who is turned off by her male partner’s baldness:

(Link): Dear Abby: As Boyfriend Loses Hair, I Lose Interest

DEAR ABBY:
My physical attraction to my boyfriend has significantly diminished due to his baldness.

I know this may seem shallow, but I have lost all interest in intimate contact with him.

Continue reading “Dear Abby: As Boyfriend Loses Hair, I Lose Interest”

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Dear Abby: Can an atheist and a devout Christian make it work?

Dear Abby: Can an atheist and a devout Christian make it work?

I believe that the Christian “equally yoked” teaching is stupid and acts as a hindrance to Christian single women who’d like to marry.

Also, (Link):  a lot of self professing Christian men are abusive or pigs, so if you’re a Christian woman, you should marry a guy on the basis of how he treats you – not if he claims to believe in Jesus or not.

By the way, I am a little confused by the heading which says that the letter write is an atheist – in her letter, she seems to say that she does believe in God but is not “as religious” as her boyfriend is.

(Link): Dear Abby: Can an atheist and a devout Christian make it work?

(Link) Dear Abby: Can an atheist and a devout Christian make it work?

DEAR ABBY:

For the first time in my life, I am in love. We met about a month ago. I know he’s the man I have waited my entire life to meet. I am 33, so I know what I feel isn’t just lust.

We have one huge hurdle, though: religion. He’s actively religious, while I am not, and he doesn’t believe our relationship can survive this difference.

Continue reading “Dear Abby: Can an atheist and a devout Christian make it work?”

Why You Shouldn’t Date the Guy Who Acts the Most Interested by J. Birch

Why You Shouldn’t Date the Guy Who Acts the Most Interested by J. Birch

(Link): Why You Shouldn’t Date the Guy Who Acts the Most Interested by J. Birch

Excerpts:

…. Despite lingering doubts, she ended up in a marriage by her mid-20s — with a husband whose enthusiasm was not, in fact, all it had seemed to be. It waned over time.

He did not defend her in front of his family members, they fought constantly, he did not consider her feelings. By her late 20s, she was divorced, with a whole slew of different (and correct) thoughts about “how things should be” the next time around.

Addison isn’t alone in her previous beliefs about dating and relationships. Somewhere along the way, women were told, “You deserve to be pursued!” and, yeah, we just went with it.

Through my research (and even among friends), I’ve met plenty of women who’ve literally gone their entire lives letting men sort themselves by early, most-evident interest.

Their “single girl” dating ritual is simple: Strongest pursuer wins. (Side note: This is a heteronormative exploration of dating rituals and for that reason a heteronormative article on said rituals.)

With a (Link): culture of ghosting, bread-crumbing, zombie-ing, and just flat-out constant shuffling, I get that things seem inherently fragile out there, and lots of people want to insulate against rejection.

Continue reading “Why You Shouldn’t Date the Guy Who Acts the Most Interested by J. Birch”

25 Women Reveal Their Biggest Dating Profile Dealbreakers

25 Women Reveal Their Biggest Dating Profile Dealbreakers

It seems to me that most of the real-life examples listed below are by 20-something singles.

I would hope to god that nobody over the age of 35 is behaving in the manner that some of these women are describing.  Though I personally have seen men on dating sites, age 40 and up, guilty of a few of these (below this list, I’ll paste in and comment about a few of the over age 35 morons I ran into on dating sites).

(Link): 25 Women Reveal Their Biggest Dating Profile Dealbreakers

Excerpts:

….In a recent AskReddit thread, women shared examples of the biggest dating profile dealbreakers that they’ve come across, and their responses are super enlightening for anyone who’s nervous that their bio is scaring off potential matches.

But remember: even the most seasoned online dating vets make mistakes and experience rejection sometimes, so there’s no point in beating yourself up over a failed relationship attempt.

All you can do is make sure you’re putting your best virtual foot forward, and wait patiently until you meet someone you really connect with.

Here are 25 examples of things some women don’t want to see in dating profiles.

….Gross Sexual Usernames

Having usernames like “big dick” or “likes to lick”

Badmouthing Your Exes

If your entire profile is a rant about how much you loathe your ex, we’re going to assume you’re not really over them.

Insulting Women on the Site

Anything that insults women or implies they see themselves as the majority of women on there. That might be the case (doubtful) but just don’t swipe away if you’re not interested.

“Where are the nice girls on here”

“Duck faces and posers need not apply”

“Sick of girls on here who aren’t genuine”

On a similar note, insulting your potential matches by making assumptions about them (as if all women on dating apps are the same) is a huge red flag.

Laying Out All Your Baggage

“I’m not trying to get hurt anymore. Seems like all the good guys get treated like shit. My last girlfriend was cheating on me so I’m a little insecure right now. Please don’t be one of these fake girls who’s just gonna hurt me and fuck my friends behind my back.”

Uhhhhhhh, your baggage is way too heavy. I can just picture getting back to back text messages round the clock if I don’t respond immediately and getting called out of my name if I want to go out with friends

Continue reading “25 Women Reveal Their Biggest Dating Profile Dealbreakers”

Dating in Your 40s (Advice Columnist M. Goldstein)

Dating in Your 40s (Advice Columnist M. Goldstein)

(Link): Dating in Your 40s (Advice Columnist M. Goldstein)

Q. Where is a single woman in her 40s supposed to look for love?

Though I had some decent luck in my 20s, it doesn’t seem that online dating is a viable option when you are midlife and not interested in hookups, and I tend to see the same people on all the different sites.

Once upon a time it was fresh and attracted a lot of different people, but it seems that online dating has run its course as a legitimate way to meet people, based on my experiences.

Continue reading “Dating in Your 40s (Advice Columnist M. Goldstein)”

Bugging Your Friend to Get Into a Relationship? How Amatonormative of You. by L. Bonos

Bugging Your Friend to Get Into a Relationship? How Amatonormative of You. by L. Bonos

(Link): Bugging Your Friend to Get Into a Relationship? How Amatonormative of You. by L. Bonos

Excerpts:

Being single is not necessarily a problem to be fixed, but it often gets treated that way. In women’s magazines that trumpet how to find your soul mate. In rom-coms where the hot mess of a single protagonist ends up with a man. In conversations in which married friends presume that their single friends would automatically be better off with a partner, any partner.

But what’s a single person to do when what she needs most is … to stop getting so much unsolicited advice?

Continue reading “Bugging Your Friend to Get Into a Relationship? How Amatonormative of You. by L. Bonos”

I’m In My 40s, Want To Marry, But Never Like A Guy More Than A Year (Letter to Advice Columnist)

I’m In My 40s, Want To Marry, But Never Like A Guy More Than A Year (Letter to Advice Columnist)

(Link):  I’m in my 40s, want to marry, but never like a guy more than a year. (Letter to Advice Columnist)

Prudie advises a letter writer who is fortysomething, wants to marry, but never likes a guy for more than a year.


[Dear Prudie]:

Q. Uncertain: I’m in my early 40s, never married, no kids, but always wanted both. I’m in a relationship of 10 months. The guy could not be sweeter or a person of better character.

He loves me and treats me well. I was so in love the first six months but he is increasingly getting on my nerves—he is a bit quirky and goofy. And I don’t always find it amusing; increasingly I find it irritating.

Continue reading “I’m In My 40s, Want To Marry, But Never Like A Guy More Than A Year (Letter to Advice Columnist)”

Go to Counseling to Deal With that Man-Child You Married (Hax Column)

Go to Counseling to Deal With that Man-Child You Married (Hax Column)

(I got a notification from Word Press that today is this blog’s Seventh Year Anniversary. Yay me, I guess.)

My views about divorce have changed over the last two or three years. I still think people should take marriage seriously. I don’t think I want to spend much time in THIS post discussing those changes – I’ll try to keep this short.

I was raised in a Christian tradition that taught that adultery was the only reason a person could divorce and not be in sin. Suffice it to say, I used to sort of buy into that view, too, but that was when I was younger and a little more naive about relationships and people.

Take the letter below as an example. The woman’s husband had an affair, and on those grounds, a lot of Christians (not all, but many) would say she has a “biblical” right to divorce the dude. Other than the adultery, based on what the wife says, the husband sounds like an arrogant, uncaring, selfish jackass.

Continue reading “Go to Counseling to Deal With that Man-Child You Married (Hax Column)”

Why Opposites Rarely Attract by V. Swami

Why Opposites Rarely Attract by V. Swami

(Link): Why Opposites Rarely Attract by V. Swami

Excerpt:

But it’s not just Disney: the idea that opposites attract has completely saturated the film industry – think of the neurotic comedian who falls for the free-spirited singer in Woody Allen’s Annie Hall, for example. In fact, (Link): one study found that almost 80% of us believe in the idea that opposites attract.

But a (Link): new study tracking people’s digital footprints – how they behave online – suggests this isn’t actually true in real life. And it isn’t the first time science has come to that conclusion. For decades, psychologists and sociologists have pointed out that the idea that opposites attract is a (Link): myth.

Continue reading “Why Opposites Rarely Attract by V. Swami”

The Surprising Danger of Being Good at Your Job (The Drawbacks to Being Self Controlled, Competent, and Reliable in Relationships) by R. Sugar

The Surprising Danger of Being Good at Your Job (The Drawbacks to Being Self Controlled, Competent, and Reliable)

Even though this article originally has the word “job” in the headline, it also discusses the impact of being reliable, competent, and self controlled in a person’s dating life, friendships, and so on.

People such as myself who are sexually abstinent into their 40s have a hell of a lot of self control (obviously, I’d say). I’m also pretty disciplined at exercise and dieting and in other areas of life.

I was the reliable, competent one in my relationship with my ex-fiance’, and yes, as a result I was over-worked and grew resentful of that idiot. I ended up carrying more than my fair share of the workload.

I was also reliable on jobs I held in the past, as well as in group assignments I was placed into by college professors to the point that bosses or other team members would over-work me, take me for granted, etc.

I definitely related to this article…

(Link): The Surprising Danger of Being Good at Your Job (The Drawbacks to Being Self Controlled, Competent, and Reliable) by R. Sugar

Science confirms what high performers have known for years: It’s not easy being so competent.

(Link): A study from Duke’s Fuqua School of Business suggests that people with high self-control — the kind of people who remember birthdays, choose the salad instead of the fries, take on extra projects at work, and resolve conflicts easily — might actually pay a price for those virtues.

“People always talk about how having high self-control is a good thing,” says researcher Christy Zhou Koval, a Ph.D. candidate and first author on the study, which was published in this month’s Journal of Personality and Social Psychology. And in many ways, it is a good thing: “Go-getters get what they go after,” she points out. “They’re better at goal pursuits. They make very good relationship partners.”

They’re also better-off financially than their less-disciplined peers; they tend to be in better health, and they generally have higher-quality personal relationships.

But all that comes at a cost: High-self-control people, the researchers found, end up burdened by their own competence.

Continue reading “The Surprising Danger of Being Good at Your Job (The Drawbacks to Being Self Controlled, Competent, and Reliable in Relationships) by R. Sugar”

Woman Says Her Formerly (Supposed) Womanizing Husband Claims He’s Not Interested in Having Sex With Her (Ask Amy)

Woman Says Her Formerly (Supposed) Womanizing Husband Claims He’s Not Interested in Having Sex  With Her (Ask Amy)

This is a Nov. 2016 letter from a married woman to advice columnist “Ask Amy.”

The woman’s husband was quite the horn dog prior to meeting her, or so he says. The husband claims he slept around a lot, prior to them marrying.

I would avoid a guy like this like the plague, but this woman actually found it “touching” or sweet when the guy told her out of the bazillions of women he’s slept with before, she seems special to him – so she married him (sounds like a cheap line a player would use to me, but I digress).

Anyway. The woman is now writing Amy to say their marriage has turned sexless.

I suspect that the guy is probably having affairs with other women, which is one possibility Amy tosses out.

Regardless of his motivations, it remains that this woman is in a sexless marriage.

I never heard things like this from Christians when I was a kid, teen, or older.

All I ever heard growing up was the propaganda that if a woman remains a virgin until marriage, that the married sex will be Fantastic! Roof shattering! Frequent! Always satisfying! Great!

Well apparently, married sex is not what it’s cracked up to be. If you marry, your husband may have so much extra-marital sex with other women, he won’t be interested in having sex with you any longer. Or, the husband may be under so much job stress he won’t want to have sex. Or, he might have depression, which can sap a person’s libido.

There could be any number of reasons why a spouse won’t “put out” in a marriage any more, which will leave you, the other half, sex-less. I seldom see Christians admit that this is a thing, that it happens to couples, which I feel is dishonest of them.

Being married is not – contrary to a lot of conservative Christian propaganda – a guarantee of receiving hot, regular, great sex.

You can read the woman’s letter here:

(Link):  Ask Amy: Wife ponders mystery of husband’s behavior

Dear Amy: I fell madly in love with a wonderful, kind man. He told me that he had been with 30-plus women in his 55-plus years, primarily for sex.

When he told me he really loved me and had never truly felt this way before about any other woman, it won me over, and now we are married.

I am seven years younger than he is and had been divorced for about 15 years. My issue is that now my husband is not interested in having sex with me at all.

He states that he has already had that and now he just wants love.

I have cried, talked and asked for counseling, to no avail. I am ready to walk away. I feel ugly and undesirable.

He has promised to make changes, but in 10 months nothing has changed.

I love him deeply, but my heart is telling me that this is now becoming toxic.

I don’t understand how he can have sex with so many women he didn’t love, but not with the woman he loves.

Do you have any guidance?

Feeling Abandoned

Your husband is not a “wonderful, kind” man. He’s a user and a sexist pig, lady. A wonderful, kind man does not sexually use woman or sleep around to the point he’s bagged 30 plus women over his life. You married a dud.

And by the way, if the guy is saying he will make changes, but ten months later, none have been made, that is your two by four over the head: the man has NO INTENTION of changing. Leave now. Stop wasting your time on this guy. Divorce. Learn to be happy being single.

Nine Signs He’s Not The Marrying Type, According To Marriage Counselors

Nine Signs He’s Not The Marrying Type, According To Marriage Counselors

I’m not going to copy the entire page here; you’re just getting excerpts.

Number five on this list describes my ex fiance exactly (see this (Link): prior post). I’d also say point 7 applies to my ex. My ex kept putting his mother (and some of his other family members) before me.

(Link): Nine Signs He’s Not The Marrying Type, According To Marriage Counselors

Excerpts

Read on for nine signs he’s just (Link): not the marrying type, according to marriage counselors. (Note that this applies to women too!)

1. He acts younger than he is.

“If he still acts like he’s in a fraternity ― staying out all night, drinking too much ― then he’s not ready for marriage. Getting married requires giving up the self-focus and ‘it’s all about me’ behavior. This doesn’t mean marriage doesn’t allow for some ‘me time,’ because it does, but it’s down on the priority list way below being responsible and considerate of your spouse.” ― Kurt Smith, counselor and director of Guy Stuff Counseling & Coaching

5. He always makes it about him.

“Any healthy relationship needs a give-and-take dance. That said, it would only make sense for there to be balanced conversations. However, if your man leads most of the conversations back to himself and shows no interested in you, then chances are that he will mimic the same behavior throughout a marriage.” ― Carin Goldstein, marriage and family therapist

Continue reading “Nine Signs He’s Not The Marrying Type, According To Marriage Counselors”

‘It’s Not Me, It’s You’: A Loser’s Guide to Dealing with Rejection by The Guyliner

‘It’s Not Me, It’s You’: A Loser’s Guide to Dealing with Rejection by The Guyliner

(Link): ‘It’s not me, it’s you’: a loser’s guide to dealing with rejection by The Guyliner

Excerpts:

Advances in technology, and the urge to express ourselves as loudly as possible, mean rejection has never been so easy to dole out. Swiping left on Tinder, blocking on Twitter, marching to the polling booth: a firm no is never far away, but the bitter sting never fails to shock.

We’ve witnessed an unusually high level of public rejection over the last few turbulent weeks, from politicians discovering their posses were lacking compadres and feeling their ambition turn to ash in their mouths, to the much-maligned EU, sadly opening its Dear John letter from 52% of the UK, all calls going straight to voicemail.

Rejection can teach you a lot about yourself and those around you. “No” may never be music to your ears, but you can learn to take it with dignity. Or, at the very least, store up ample fuel for your revenge.

….On a dating app

“Why don’t they love me?” I’d cry when I was single, throwing myself on to a fainting couch whenever someone I’d contacted didn’t reciprocate.

Continue reading “‘It’s Not Me, It’s You’: A Loser’s Guide to Dealing with Rejection by The Guyliner”

Women, Stop Listening to Sexist Relationship ‘Experts’ by D. L. D’Oyley

Women, Stop Listening to Sexist Relationship ‘Experts’ by D. L. D’Oyley

If you are not already aware, Steve Harvey, whom this author discusses, is a Christian. He is sometimes a guest speaker on Christian network TBN.

(Link): Women, Stop Listening to Sexist Relationship ‘Experts’ (page 1) (Link to Page 2) by D. L. D’Oyley

Excerpts:

  • Feb 2016
  • She Matters: If they’re men who hold shoddy views about sex and women, it follows that their advice to women will also be shoddy.
  • …It’s a common theme among men, including many so-called relationship experts. And that’s a huge problem.
  • It should be obvious why that’s an issue, but in case it isn’t: You have men who hold screwed-up views about sex and women telling women how to be better women to land a man.
  • If the perspective with which they view women is shoddy, then it follows that their advice to women will also be shoddy.

Continue reading “Women, Stop Listening to Sexist Relationship ‘Experts’ by D. L. D’Oyley”

The Worst Things a Man Can Say in His Online Dating Profile by S. Farris

The Worst Things a Man Can Say in His Online Dating Profile by S. Farris

I would also add to the list on the page I am linking to:

Hetero Men who are seeking women on dating sites and apps: do not send women unsolicited penis photos; do not have anything mentioning sex on your profile, and do not mention (or joke about) sex in any of your “must have” lists on dating sites or any part of your profile.

I don’t care if you are totally into sex and think sex is mucho importante in a relationship, any mention of sex (even if you think it’s funny to put vulgar jokes on your profile) is a turn-off (and / or creepy) to most women.

You wait until you have been dating a person for awhile to bring sex up, and even then, you should be TASTEFUL about it, not crass or perverted or weird.

(Link): The Worst Things a Man Can Say in His Online Dating Profile

Excerpts:

  • They show up for dates looking nothing like their pictures. They tell long, rambling stories about their “psycho exes” or spend the entirety of the evening talking about their material possessions.
  • Men who date online never fail to surprise the women they meet, but they seem to be blissfully ignorant of the fact that they’re scaring people off.
  • With men now (Link): drastically outnumbering women on many dating apps, can guys afford to offend the few female users they might attract?
  •  

    Working with April Masini, a New York City-based relationship expert and psychotherapist, we analyzed responses from women who are currently active on the online dating scene.

  • Masini regularly offers dating advice to people of both genders through her website (Link): AskApril.com. She reviewed the lines women hate to see most on online dating profiles and gave her advice on how men can better phrase them.
  • 1. “No drama.”
  • By the time people join online dating sites, they’ve often had a wealth of experiences that include breakups, job transitions, and possibly even parenthood.

Continue reading “The Worst Things a Man Can Say in His Online Dating Profile by S. Farris”

Woman Book Author – Andrea Tantaros – Suggests That Single Women Are Miserable And Can’t Get Husbands Because Feminism. My Critique of Her Article / Book

Woman Book Author – Andrea Tantaros –  Suggests That Single Women Are Miserable And Can’t Get Husbands Because Feminism. My Critique of Her Article / Book

(This post has been edited to add several new comments and a link or two)

Aug 2017 – (Link): Author Claims Andrea Tantaros’ Book About How Feminism ‘Made Women Miserable’ Was Ghostwritten by a Man


If you are new to my blog: I am right wing, I don’t agree with most secular feminism, but I do think secular feminism is correct on a point here or there.

This article I link you to farther below is about a book a woman wrote (I believe she is right wing), and it reads like one of those “blame feminism” type works. The book is by Andrea Tantaros, and its title is “Tied Up in Knots: How Getting What We Wanted Made Women Miserable.”

I have not read the book; I have only read the author’s article about the book, which you see linked to farther down the page. I take it that her article is a sort of preview about what one can expect to see in the book.

This article argues that most women got what they wanted (via feminism), and they are miserable as a result: they are not getting men. Women want marriage and are not getting married. The women want to have great careers, but they also want a manly- man who will marry them and sometimes take care of them; they want a partner to share life with.

Continue reading “Woman Book Author – Andrea Tantaros – Suggests That Single Women Are Miserable And Can’t Get Husbands Because Feminism. My Critique of Her Article / Book”

Men Aren’t Entitled to Sex: Crybaby Guy Throws Racist Fit at Woman Who Politely Refuses to Hook up by R K Bussel

Men Aren’t Entitled to Sex: Crybaby Guy Throws Racist Fit at Woman Who Politely Refuses to Hook up by R K Bussel

It sure does seem that a lot of guys think they are owed sex.

A lot of Christian men not only feel that they are entitled sex (once married), but both before and after marriage, they feel entitled to everything from women: they expect to have their egos stroked all the time, for instance.

Do you Christian men who arrogantly expect women to uplift you and tell you how great you are, ever consider encouraging women in your lives, whether they are single or married?

Women sometimes need or want some external validation, yet whiny men (including Christian ones) seldom consider giving any to women. They rudely assume God put women here only to meet men’s needs. Nope: it goes both ways.

Women have needs too. Women have days or phases in their lives when they get tired, discouraged, worn down and could use a kind word or a helping hand.

(Link):  Men Aren’t Etitled to Sex: Crybaby Guy Throws Racist fit at woman who Politely Refuses to Hook up by R K Bussel

Excerpts:

  • Even if he buys her dinner, even if she asks him out, even if she flirts—there’s no excuse for this behavior
  • …That he turned on a dime to insult her should tell us that he only saw her as an object he wanted available for his pleasure, whether to stroke his ego or stroke other body parts. The moment she rejects him, even though she doesn’t say a single negative thing toward him, he interprets that as pretty much the worst thing a woman could do to him. Her not wanting sex automatically means, in his mind, she’s basically an evil bitch who’s wasted his time.
  • Another obvious statement: her not wanting to have sex with him doesn’t automatically mean she didn’t like him, or didn’t have a good date. Maybe she did, maybe she didn’t, but by treating sex as the one and only arbiter of success, he turned what could have been a fun night into a nightmare.

Continue reading “Men Aren’t Entitled to Sex: Crybaby Guy Throws Racist Fit at Woman Who Politely Refuses to Hook up by R K Bussel”

Single, Adult Woman Lies on Church Employment Form About Pre-Marital Sex and Sexual Orientation, Says Friend – Letter to Ask Amy Advice Column

Single, Adult Woman Lies on Church Employment Form About Pre-Marital Sex and Sexual Orientation, Says Friend – Letter to Ask Amy Advice Column

I’ll paste in the letter below, and probably Amy’s response. I think Amy dropped the ball on her reply, for the most part.

I’m using this letter not so much as it pertains to homosexuality, but the phenomenon of singles (or anyone, I guess) lying about their sexual habits or pasts, especially in a church context.

When I was growing up, my parents encouraged me to seek a marital partner at church. The thought being that I could meet a decent, kind, stable man at a church and marry the guy.

The problem is (as I’ve detailed on this blog time and again) is that churches attract all sorts of weirdos, perverts, and losers (and liars).

If you are a single Christian woman who insists on meeting a single man at a church, you better be well aware that just because a guy is attending church, works at said church, or says he loves Jesus and is a Christian, does not mean he is a nice guy or is honest. He might be a child rapist, a woman abuser, or have a raging pornography addiction.

The letter below is about a lesbian woman who misrepresented herself (her sexual nature / sexual history) to a church to get hired, contra to  Ask Amy’s spin on it (you can read a copy of this letter here):

  • Dear Amy:
  • I have a huge dilemma. “Jane” and I have been good friends since middle school. I love her like a sister.
  • Recently, Jane accepted a job at a church as the youth director in the town where we attend college. She is good with youth and is very outgoing.
  • However, Jane was not fully truthful when applying for this job.
  • The church asked all applicants to affirm its faith statement and a code of behavior that prohibits premarital sex. Jane signed the code of behavior, indicating that she would not have premarital sex.
  • To further confuse the issue, she told them that she did not have a boyfriend. In truth, Jane does have sex. However, she is a (quiet) lesbian.

Continue reading “Single, Adult Woman Lies on Church Employment Form About Pre-Marital Sex and Sexual Orientation, Says Friend – Letter to Ask Amy Advice Column”

Virginity is a Sacred Choice, Not a Shameful Status by C. Martin / Giving Sex to a Man is Not A Relationship Lasting Guarantee Contra Comic Chelsea Handler

Virginity is a Sacred Choice, Not a Shameful Status by C. Martin / Giving Sex to a Man is Not A Guarantee for a Lasting Relationship – Contra Comic Chelsea Handler

The following blog post contains strong profanity in places and some frank sexual talk.
—————————————–
Not that I object to this editorial per se, but it’s being carried by the same site (a pro-life site) that (Link): usually denigrates female virginity – because they put too high a premium on people pro-creating, and if a woman is remaining chaste, she is, in their opinion, in sin, or error or some sort, for not having sex and making babies, because supposedly, a woman’s only purpose in life is to make babies (even though the Bible no where teaches this concept).

But here is a guest editorial they are featuring where the author is defending a person’s right to sexually abstain, and it’ okay.

(Link): Virginity is a Sacred Choice, Not a Shameful Status by C. Martin

Excerpts:

  • by C. Martin
  • Our society is obsessed with talking about sex, regardless if you’re having it or not. Take for instance the recent March (Link): cover of People magazine, which featured the title, “Bachelor’s Sean & Catherine, Waiting for Our Wedding night.”
  • To make things a bit clearer, they added below the title, “No sex until ‘I do.’” The cover may intrigue those who scratch their heads, wondering in earnest why anyone would (gasp) wait to have sex.

Continue reading “Virginity is a Sacred Choice, Not a Shameful Status by C. Martin / Giving Sex to a Man is Not A Relationship Lasting Guarantee Contra Comic Chelsea Handler”

Here Are 5 Stupid, Unfair and Sexist Things Expected of Men – by G. Christina

Here Are 5 Stupid, Unfair and Sexist Things Expected of Men

I’m only copying one point off the page.

What this excerpt discusses from a secular view is similar to what occurs in Christianity: many Christians also believe that all men are randy horn dogs who want sex 24/7, but, they also believe and teach that women (especially married ones) hate sex and have to be convinced or shamed into having more sex.

I’ve posted links to news stories and studies before that mention that women want sex just as much as men. One headline I have on my blog that I saw in the news was something like, “Women’s sex appetite rivals men’s, when they think nobody is judging.”

See, in American society, if a woman is sexual or admits to wanting or liking sex, she will often be thought of as a slut. This happens both within and out the church – secular culture is kind of like this, too. Though it seems secular culture is a little more open to the idea of women wanting sex or having sex than Christian culture is.

Anyway, the cultural mores are such that even if a woman really enjoys sex, wants sex, she will be hesitant to act like it or admit it for fear of getting the “slut” label by other people or by her church. I don’t think that’s something that people often consider, especially not conservative Christians.

(Link): Here are 5 stupid, unfair and sexist things expected of men

Excerpts:

  • … But we don’t talk as much about how sexism hurts men. Understandably. When you look at the grotesque ways women are damaged by sexism—from economic inequality to political disenfranchisement to literal, physical abuse—it makes perfect sense that we’d care more about how sexism, patriarchy and rigid gender roles affect women than we do about how they affect men.
  • But men undoubtedly get screwed up by this stuff, too. Not screwed up as badly as women, to be sure… but not trivially, either.
  • [Sexist Things Expected of Men]
  • 3. Be hot to trot. Always. With anybody.
  • This is another expectation that came up with striking (although hardly surprising) frequency.
  • Men are supposed to want sex — and be ready for sex — all the time.
  • With pretty much anyone of the right gender who makes themselves available for it.

Continue reading “Here Are 5 Stupid, Unfair and Sexist Things Expected of Men – by G. Christina”