Woman Says Why She’s Rejecting These ‘Lonely, Single Men’ – also: Male Entitlement In and Out of the Church, Men Who Won’t Take Personal Responsibility for Their Singleness

Woman Says Why She’s Rejecting These ‘Lonely, Single Men’ – also: Male Entitlement In and Out of the Church, Men Who Won’t Take Personal Responsibility for Their Singleness

Below this article, I have a lot of comments, before I resume with providing another link related to this first one:

(Link): Woman says why she’s rejecting these ‘lonely, single men’

Aug 18, 2022
By Jana Hocking, News.com.au

Unless you were hiding under a rock this week, you would have read about an article published on Psychology Today titled “The Rise of Lonely, Single Men.”

It was written by psychologist, Greg Matos, and revealed that dating opportunities for heterosexual men are diminishing as relationship standards rise.

The psychologist explained that women are now only dating men who share the same values, have great communication skills and are emotionally available. Praise the lord!

Toxic men are out, respectful studs are in.

Now first of all, may we get out our violins and play a sad melody for the men who have treated women like absolute rubbish and then realized that they’re now single and alone. How unfair for these poor creatures.

You see, while they were bed-hopping, ghosting, breadcrumbing and doing all sort of mind f–kery to us women folk, we were quietly, and subtly embracing this ‘self love’ culture that started to emerge in TED Talks, TikTok videos, YouTube channels, and various other online forms.

Oprah preached: “If you feel like he is stringing you along, then he probably is. Don’t stay because you think ‘it will get better’. You’ll be mad at yourself a year later for staying when things are not better.”

Continue reading “Woman Says Why She’s Rejecting These ‘Lonely, Single Men’ – also: Male Entitlement In and Out of the Church, Men Who Won’t Take Personal Responsibility for Their Singleness”

Number of ‘Lonely, Single’ Men is on the Rise as Women with Higher Dating Standards Look for Partners Who are ‘Emotionally Available, Good Communicators, and Share Similar Values’, Says Psychologist

Number of ‘Lonely, Single’ Men is on the Rise as Women with Higher Dating Standards Look for Partners Who are ‘Emotionally Available, Good Communicators, and Share Similar Values’, Says Psychologist

If any of the usual conservative commentators, male or female, get wind of this article by this psychologist, they will somehow try to pin the blame for more men going single longer – on all women, or on feminism.

I’m a conservative who doesn’t agree with progressive woke ideology, but I’ve noticed that other conservatives, despite claiming to believe in the concept of ‘personal responsibility’ never- the- less do not want to hold men accountable for the failures of men, whether on the individual level or men as a group.

Then, these same conservatives, who bemoan the “victimhood” mentality of progressivism, go on to depict all men as being poor, put upon victims.

If men of today are finding it more difficult to get dates, they need to take personal responsibility and work on improving themselves, rather than go the usual “blame feminism” or “blame all women” route, which is what they normally do.

I can see secular and Christian conservatives blaming women for this phenomenon – they are going to blame and shame women, and yell at women to lower their standards.

I find it absolutely refreshing to learn from these articles that women are now vastly out-numbered on dating sites.

I think I read the figure is 62%; that is, 62% of the participants on dating sites are male, the rest are female, so that women have the pick of the litter, LOL. This is a nice turn around.

This is the total opposite of churches.

Most churches have gender imbalances that favor single men – most churches have way more single women than single men. If you’re a single, practicing Christian woman that wants marriage, you need to dump the “equally yoked” rule and perhaps giving dating sites a second look.

Not that dating sites and apps are a god-send, because there are weirdos, rapists, and wackos on there, but you have more single men to choose from on dating sites than in many churches.

(Link):  The Rise of Lonely, Single Men by Greg Matos

Excerpts:

Dating apps and a drastically changing relationship landscape.

KEY POINTS

    • Dating opportunities for heterosexual men are diminishing as relationship standards rise.
    • Men represent approximately 62% of dating app users, lowering their chances for matches.
    • Men need to address skills deficits to meet healthier relationship expectations.

(Link): Number of ‘lonely, single’ men is on the rise as women with higher dating standards look for partners who are are ’emotionally available, good communicators, and share similar values’, says psychologist

August 15, 2022
by Jessica Green

Men are lonelier than ever as they struggle to meet the higher dating standards of modern women, according to a psychologist.

American psychologist Greg Matos wrote in a recent Psychology Today article that the current state of young and middle-aged men’s love lives shows they need to ‘address a skills deficit’.

He said: ‘I hear recurring dating themes from women between the ages of 25 and 45: They prefer men who are emotionally available, good communicators, and share similar values’.

Yet, he claimed he’s found that modern men’s biggest problem is communication, which is ‘the lifeblood of healthy, long-term love’.

It comes as data shows dating apps are overrun with men – who represent 62 per cent of users – and figures collected in the US in 2019 showed more men than women were single.

Dr Matos said society fails to teach young boys the importance of communication, which has resulted in growing numbers of unintentionally single men.

Continue reading “Number of ‘Lonely, Single’ Men is on the Rise as Women with Higher Dating Standards Look for Partners Who are ‘Emotionally Available, Good Communicators, and Share Similar Values’, Says Psychologist”

“Immediately No”: Mental Health Expert Shares Red Flags on Dating Profiles

“Immediately No”: Mental Health Expert Shares Red Flags on Dating Profiles

I don’t agree with all of this person’s red flags, but some of them may be worthwhile to keep in mind.

 (Link): “Immediately no”: Mental health expert shares red flags on dating profiles

Excerpts:

by C. Ferris
June 2, 2022

In a now-viral TikTok video, a mental health expert discussed what would cause her to not match with someone on a dating app.

Karli Kucko, LPC-A shares content about mental health on her TikTok and Instagram accounts @karli.k.counseling. She recently posted a video on her TikTok where it garnered more than 100,000 views. The video, which discussed seeing people making demands on their profile, was the first of several that touched on behaviors that would cause her to “swipe left.”

Viewers found these points helpful, and many shared what they considered to be red flags when they peruse dating apps themselves.

Good Morning America outlined a few tips for a strong dating profile, which include users posting good quality photos, writing “just enough” about themselves and being up-front with their intentions.

Matthew Hussey, a New York Times bestselling author and dating expert, told the outlet that there is a way to be open and honest while remaining positive.

“If you’re going to say you want something serious, frame it in a positive way rather than a negative one,” he said. “You don’t want to come across as bitter or jaded.”

In Kucko’s first video, she said something that would make her “swipe left” is seeing someone making demands on their profile. She noted that statements like “have to have, can’t do, must do,” were some examples of phrases that led to her not matching with someone.

Continue reading ““Immediately No”: Mental Health Expert Shares Red Flags on Dating Profiles”

“Three Rules to Avoid Cheating and Betrayal, From My Work as a Sexologist” by Dr. Robert Weiss

“Three Rules to Avoid Cheating and Betrayal, From My Work as a Sexologist”

 (Link): “Three rules to avoid cheating and betrayal, from my work as a sexologist”

August 16, 2020

by Dr. Robert Weiss
[who says he is a “licensed California therapist specializing in sex and intimacy”]

…As a sexologist, it is not my job to tell a couple that they must be monogamous. That is their choice to make. Or not. If they choose monogamy, my job is to help them negotiate their relationship boundaries and to help them find resolution if/when those boundaries are broken….

Having worked nearly half my life with families damaged by infidelity, I want to share three simple rules to help couples successfully negotiate monogamy, to avoid the pain associated when one partner cheats and to assist those struggling to overcome sexual betrayal.

1. Accept that cheating occurs when one spouse deliberately lies about or keeps meaningful secrets from the other. …

…Using my definition, cheating is less about specific sexual behaviors and more about lies and secrets used to cover up those behaviors.

And, as just about every betrayed partner I’ve ever worked with has told me, “It’s not the sex that causes the most pain. It’s that I no longer know who my partner is or trust anything that he/she says. How can we have an intimate connection when there’s no trust?”

Continue reading ““Three Rules to Avoid Cheating and Betrayal, From My Work as a Sexologist” by Dr. Robert Weiss”

Men Who Pose Shirtless on Dating Apps are Unappealing and Slutty: Study


Men Who Pose Shirtless on Dating Apps are Unappealing and Slutty: Study

I appreciate that we’re living in an era where men are starting to be called or thought of as “slutty.” 😂  For years being a “whore” or a “slut” were terms reserved for women only.

The cultural assumption was that it was okay for men to sleep around as much as they want to, and they were considered studly, but if a woman slept around – not even that much – she would get branded as “slutty” or “loose.”

(Link):  Want to impress on your Tinder profile? Keep your top ON! Men who pose topless are seen as less competent and more promiscuous, study reveals

May 24, 2022

While dating apps were once seen as taboo, they’re now one of the main ways that singletons find love around the world.

But if you have a profile on a dating app, a new study may encourage you to reassess which pictures you include.

Researchers from the University of Colorado have revealed that men who pose topless on Tinder are seen as less competent and more promiscuous.

Continue reading “Men Who Pose Shirtless on Dating Apps are Unappealing and Slutty: Study”

Divorce Attorney Reveals SHOCKING Reasons That DESTROY Relationships And Cause Bad BREAKUPS – via ‘Women of Impact’

Divorce Attorney Reveals SHOCKING Reasons That DESTROY Relationships And Cause Bad BREAKUPS – via ‘Women of Impact’

I’m not even half way done with this video yet (linked to and embedded below in this post), but this lady in the video is giving some great insights and advice. (I’ve just finished listening to the entire video, and it is worth the entire watch.)

The lady in the video mentions she didn’t get married until around (or a bit after?) age 40.

The divorce attorney (who later became a judge, if I understand correctly) said up until that point, she did get a lot of questions from people asking her why she wasn’t married yet.

(I also had to put up with that, or with other nasty assumptions, from others, when I was still single into my 30s. I was raised in a conservative Christian church, and a lot of Christians wrongly assume if you’re a woman who has not married by the age of 30 or 35, it’s because you are a man-hating feminist or that that you were too “career focused.” It’s a very victim-blaming, sexist world view.)

Some of the points this lady, Faith Jenkins, addressed in the video includes but is not limited to (these are also points I’ve learned along the way with life experience, and just mulling things over):

  • You have to know who you are and figure out who you are before you get married.
  • It’s far more healthy to learn to be single before you get married.
  • Don’t wait to get married to start living and enjoying your life – she says, “being single is not a rest stop. [At the time I was single I concluded that] it’s time for me to really live.”
  • Don’t look to someone outside of yourself to make you happy.

(Note from me, the blog owner: this is a big one.
If you go through life making your sense of self worth, happiness, or opinion about yourself contingent upon external circumstances or on how others treat you, you will never, ever achieve stable, consistent, or lasting healthy self esteem or happiness
– and along the way, if you keep making your self worth contingent on how others treat you or their opinions of you, you will tend to attract selfish people, abusers, and very emotionally needy people who will want all your time and attention, leaving you drained
– I’ve learned the hard way that many of the people who will want to use you as a sounding board, a “rock” they lean on, will not return that courtesy to you – they won’t allow you to talk to them about your problems)

  • She says you should know who you are before you marry – I think this is also a good idea prior to dating.

If you know who you are prior to dating or marriage (you know your identity and your likes, your dislikes, and your values), you won’t change to please someone else (a lot of abusive or controlling people will either badger you, pressure you, threaten, or demand that you make changes to yourself or your life to please them), and it makes it easier to weed out incompatible or potentially abusive partners.

  • She discourages you from trying to clean up, fix, rescue another person, what she refers to as “rebuilding” another person.

I agree with her on that – you ultimately cannot change another person, and you will only exhaust yourself trying. I think a lot of women who do this are people pleasers or codependents, and it’s a huge waste of time.

Continue reading “Divorce Attorney Reveals SHOCKING Reasons That DESTROY Relationships And Cause Bad BREAKUPS – via ‘Women of Impact’”

There Are Five Types of Toxic Partners – Are You Dating One? by Ellen Scott

There Are Five Types of Toxic Partners – Are You Dating One? by Ellen Scott

Word of wisdom: although the following web page discusses dating, you need to be aware that these same exact dynamics can and do turn up in platonic friendships, co-workers at your job, or among your family members.

Take what you read below about dating and apply it to non-dating relationships as well.

(Link): There Are Five Types of Toxic Partners – Are You Dating One? by Ellen Scott

Excerpts:

April 9, 2022

…But we all know that crushing hard can make you not notice glaring red flags, let alone the more subtle signs that something isn’t quite right.

The early warning signs that a relationship could become unhealthy can be even harder to spot.

Cathy Press has been working as working as a psychotherapist and clinical supervisor for over 25 years, specialising in domestic and sexual violence and abuse related issues, so she knows her stuff when it comes to love turning sour.

 Her new book, When Love Bites: A Young Person’s Guide To Escaping Harmful, Toxic and Hurtful Relationships, aims to equip people with the knowledge they need to avoid abusive partners, and the tools they need to escape the pattern.

A key part of this is understanding the five toxic types of partner – and then avoiding those at all costs.

Continue reading “There Are Five Types of Toxic Partners – Are You Dating One? by Ellen Scott”

“Sexy Summer Camp” Led by Witch Teaches Children to Masturbate

“Sexy Summer Camp” Led by Witch Teaches Children to Masturbate

Members of the religious and secular left really do want to groom children! 

If you’re a progressive, a believer in CRT, “woke” culture, Democrats, and/or a (reasonable) liberal, you really need to occasionally take a break from criticizing perceived or real sexual abuse or sexism among conservatives, Christians, evangelicals and Republicans, to point out and correct the perverts in your own political groups. 

I myself am not going to make a lot of hay out of this woman using the words “matriarchy” (which I know will send anti-feminist, pro-patriarchy, pro-complementarian Christians into a tail spin),
and I wouldn’t even say I’m against masturbation (but I don’t agree with teaching it to little children, as this woman below does),
and I don’t even particularly care that she practices witch craft (though, again, I can imagine all non-progressive Christians  will care very much, and they will be citing Old Testament verses about, “I suffer not a witch to live!” in their reaction to this, and so on). 

I don’t really have a lot of the same objections to what follows as most conservatives (secular and Christians) will have with this (in the areas of witch craft, “matriarchy,” etc, as I don’t care about that), but I do think it’s highly questionable to be emphasizing sex as much as some segments of culture do, in particular to children who are not even out of elementary school yet. 

Oh, LOL, I just saw in this article below where it’s mentioned that this woman uses “visual aids” to accompany her sex talks to children – I just did a post a couple weeks ago about an atheist lady in an atheist video who was mocking or criticizing Christians for using visual aids in Christian-based sexual purity lectures. Here’s another example where Non-Christians seek to propagandize sex with children by using visual aids. 

(Link): “Sexy Summer Camp” Led by Witch Teaches Children to Masturbate

The camp featured classes like “Sex with ME – Self pleasure workshop,” which teaches participants how to “make the most out of their masturbation experience,” and featured “hands on practice” on a person’s hands.

Mach 8, 2022
by Hannah Nightingale

A virtual summer camp aimed at people of all ages in the rural Appalachia region of the eastern US has been revealed to have taught people, including children, about masturbation, gender diversity, “self-managed abortions,” and more over the summer of 2021.

The Sexy Summer Camp, put on by Sexy Sex Ed, was held in July and August of last year on Tuesdays and Thursdays.

Sexy Sex Ed puts on workshops that they say “compels teenagers and people of all ages to openly discuss personal and political consent, sexual safety, and anatomy.

Using visual & performance art, open dialogue, and popular education methods, Sexy Sex Ed fills a vital gap in reproductive education as a creative, cultural healing solution in rural Appalachia.”

Continue reading ““Sexy Summer Camp” Led by Witch Teaches Children to Masturbate”

How I Navigated the Minefield of Online Dating in Later Life – and How You Can Too by Alice Grebot

How I Navigated the Minefield of Online Dating in Later Life – and How You Can Too by Alice Grebot

(Link): How I Navigated the Minefield of Online Dating in Later Life – and How You Can Too by Alice Grebot

Excerpts:

Feb 27, 2022

D*ck pics, scammers and GHOSTERS… would you brave online dating?

It’s the most popular way to find love in 2022 – but as these three women discovered, online dating in later life is a minefield!

‘I had to Google what ghosting is’

…After a few months of being single, I began hankering for some adult company, and online dating felt like the easiest way to meet somebody. I’d met my ex at work and I had a little experience of it from years ago, but the idea of speed dating or singles’ clubs didn’t appeal, and no one seemed to go out ‘on the pull’ any more.

I downloaded Bumble, Hinge and Tinder, but soon deleted the latter, as it seemed to be full of men looking for something casual, while I wanted a relationship.

Continue reading “How I Navigated the Minefield of Online Dating in Later Life – and How You Can Too by Alice Grebot”

Secular Sex Ed Failures, Secular Sexual and Biological Ignorance

Secular Sex Ed Failures, Secular Sexual and Biological Ignorance

Are you counting on secular sources to educate you properly on sex, biology, anatomy, or puberty? Are you counting on secular sources to even address a possible (negative) psychological and emotional consequence of having sex when you’re not truly ready, or don’t want to do it, but feel shamed or guilted by a date or culture, into having sex? Ha ha, well, good luck with that!

Not only do some Non-Christians hold false or weird ideas about sex themselves, but some Non-Christians like to portray all or most Christians as having false, shaming, or weird ideas about sex.

As someone who has followed a lot of Non-Christian, feminist social media accounts or who has dropped by their magazine sites to read their articles about sex, men, and sexism in the last several years, one recurrent theme that shows up is how ignorant teen boys and men in their 20s (and sometimes older men) are about sex.

I should maybe do a post about that later.

But the fact is, a lot of Non-Christian men, who are being raised in secular culture, some of whom have who even been exposed to secular sex education teachings in public school, have NO IDEA how a woman’s body works.

A lot of these Non-Christian men hold all sorts of false, bonkers ideas of how  menstrual periods work, or how a woman can get pregnant, for example, which shocks the secular, feminist women writers.

There are secular, liberal feminists who mock this secular, male ignorance all the time on their sites.

You can probably google to find examples of it. Maybe I will make a post about it later. I’ve seen a lot of it over the years.

Sexual Abstinence is, in fact, one way to totally avoid contracting STIs, sorry to inform the critics of Christian sexual ethics, or the high school kids in some of the quotes below on the BuzzFeed site, who lament that their sex ed teachings advised them (accurately!) that sexual abstinence is the safest bet.

There is no form of artificial birth control that is 100% effective. Condoms are cited as being 98% effective, but what if you’re in on that two percent failure rate?

Some forms of sexual acts, such as anal sex (which (Link): some secular teen magazines have been promoting in the last few years), are more liable to cause or spread disease and create physical issues.
See, for example, this SECULAR (Non-Christian) page about anal sex at WebMD, which confirms that:

(Link):  Anal Sex Safety: What to Know

Excerpt:

The lining of the anus is thinner than the vagina, and it lacks natural lubrication. That makes it much more vulnerable to tearing. Tears can allow viruses and bacteria to enter the bloodstream. This can include sexually transmitted infections, such as HIV.

Studies have suggested that anal exposure to HIV poses 30 times more risk for the receptive partner than vaginal exposure.

Anal intercourse can also boost the risk of getting the human papillomavirus (HPV).

HPV may also lead to the development of anal warts and anal cancer. Using lubricants can help, but it doesn’t completely prevent tearing.

The tissue inside the anus is not as well-protected as the skin outside the anus. Our external tissue has layers of dead cells that serve as a protective barrier against infection. The tissue inside the anus doesn’t have this natural protection, which leaves it vulnerable to tearing and the spread of infection.

The anus was designed to hold in feces. The anus is surrounded with a ring-like muscle, called the anal sphincter, which tightens after we have a bowel movement. When the muscle is tight, anal penetration can be painful and difficult.

Repetitive anal sex may weaken the anal sphincter, making it difficult to hold in feces until you can get to the toilet. Kegel exercises to strengthen the sphincter may help prevent this problem or correct it.

The anus is full of bacteria. Bacteria normally in the anus can potentially infect the giving partner. Having vaginal sex after anal sex can also lead to vaginal and urinary tract infections.
— end excerpts —

I don’t think all the samples on the pages below are all Christian –
(I am not going to copy the entire pages; if you’d like to see all the examples, please use the links below to visit the pages to view them all if you want to):

(Link): One Man Believes Women With Large Boobs Scientifically Can’t Be Smart And 49 Other Jaw-dropping Misconceptions Men Actually Believe About Women (some of the examples on the page involve inaccurate ideas men have about female anatomy, biology, etc)

(Link):  34 Things Some Men Believe About The Female Body That Concern Me

I think it’s time for us to have an adult sex-ed class because WHEW, child.

…5. “I’m a female student who’s taking sex ed now.
The funniest thing to me is how often they refer to penises and male anatomy, but rarely discuss vaginas and female anatomy. It’s kinda disgusting how little the guys have to learn about vaginas and periods, yet, I know pretty much everything about males now.”

(Link):  People Are Sharing What’s Being Taught Today In Sex Ed And It Proves We Still Have A Long Way To Go

(Link):  “My Sex Ed Teacher Told Me Women Cannot Orgasm”: People Are Sharing The Biggest Sex Ed Failures They’ve Ever Witnessed

Excerpts:

“My male sex education teacher told our entire classroom that period cramps do not exist and that he would not accept them as an excuse to get out of gym class.”

January 8, 2022
by Maya Ogolini – BuzzFeed Staff

Let’s face it: Sex can sometimes be an uncomfortable conversation topic when you’re young. Whether your school had a teacher attempt to explain things in health class or your parents sat you down for a “birds and the bees” talk, chances are you spent a majority of the time learning about sex wishing that you were anywhere else.

But sometimes trying your best to avoid an awkward situation can actually result in a much more awkward, embarrassing situation.

Recently, Reddit user u/wilson-volleyball77 asked,

“What is one sex education fail you’ve heard/experienced?”

Here are some of the best:

1. “If you use a tampon before sex, then you’re no longer a virgin. The number of people that believe this is unbelievable.”
—u/Typical-Cantaloupe48

“When I was a freshman in high school, my dad heard me tell my mom that I needed tampons from the store, and he freaked out. He thought that you had to have sex first before being able to use them. I was only 14, and I understood all that a lot better than him.
—u/sunflowerssunshine_

…6. “A guy once told me he thought periods lasted a whole month.”
—u/AstroLozza

7. “I was asked this question, ‘How will you be able to pee when you have your hysterectomy?’
—u/purely_logic

“I had to tell my first girlfriend she didn’t pee out of her vagina. She didn’t know she had a urethra.”
—u/Sebastian83100

Continue reading “Secular Sex Ed Failures, Secular Sexual and Biological Ignorance”

New York Times: Respect Your Daughter’s Choice To Be A Married Man’s Mistress by T. Justice

New York Times: Respect Your Daughter’s Choice To Be A Married Man’s Mistress by T. Justice

(Link): New York Times: Respect Your Daughter’s Choice To Be A Married Man’s Mistress

January 18, 2022

Poetic Justice is an advice column that offers counter-advice to submissions at other publications whose contributors have failed the reader.

The New York Times last week admonished a woman who was uncomfortable about the prospect of allowing her daughter in a relationship with a married man to bring him on a Greek vacation.

[The letter reads]…

My 30-year-old daughter is in a polyamorous relationship with a married man.

Continue reading “New York Times: Respect Your Daughter’s Choice To Be A Married Man’s Mistress by T. Justice”

Surprise! Slate’s Advice Column is Full of Fake Letters

Surprise! Slate’s Advice Column is Full of Fake Letters

(Link): Surprise! Slate’s Advice Column is Full of Fake Letters

by J. Sexton

Slate has an advice column called “Dear Prudence” which has been written by a number of people over the years.

The usual letter is some semi-plausible domestic situation which is always anonymous of course since no one would want their real name associated with these problems in public.

But it turns out that kind of anonymity and the desire for a certain brand of unbelievable, yet morally fashionable, dilemma created another problem.

It left the column open to fakes.

Continue reading “Surprise! Slate’s Advice Column is Full of Fake Letters”