Here Are 5 Stupid, Unfair and Sexist Things Expected of Men – by G. Christina

Here Are 5 Stupid, Unfair and Sexist Things Expected of Men

I’m only copying one point off the page.

What this excerpt discusses from a secular view is similar to what occurs in Christianity: many Christians also believe that all men are randy horn dogs who want sex 24/7, but, they also believe and teach that women (especially married ones) hate sex and have to be convinced or shamed into having more sex.

I’ve posted links to news stories and studies before that mention that women want sex just as much as men. One headline I have on my blog that I saw in the news was something like, “Women’s sex appetite rivals men’s, when they think nobody is judging.”

See, in American society, if a woman is sexual or admits to wanting or liking sex, she will often be thought of as a slut. This happens both within and out the church – secular culture is kind of like this, too. Though it seems secular culture is a little more open to the idea of women wanting sex or having sex than Christian culture is.

Anyway, the cultural mores are such that even if a woman really enjoys sex, wants sex, she will be hesitant to act like it or admit it for fear of getting the “slut” label by other people or by her church. I don’t think that’s something that people often consider, especially not conservative Christians.

(Link): Here are 5 stupid, unfair and sexist things expected of men

Excerpts:

  • … But we don’t talk as much about how sexism hurts men. Understandably. When you look at the grotesque ways women are damaged by sexism—from economic inequality to political disenfranchisement to literal, physical abuse—it makes perfect sense that we’d care more about how sexism, patriarchy and rigid gender roles affect women than we do about how they affect men.
  • But men undoubtedly get screwed up by this stuff, too. Not screwed up as badly as women, to be sure… but not trivially, either.
  • [Sexist Things Expected of Men]
  • 3. Be hot to trot. Always. With anybody.
  • This is another expectation that came up with striking (although hardly surprising) frequency.
  • Men are supposed to want sex — and be ready for sex — all the time.
  • With pretty much anyone of the right gender who makes themselves available for it.

Continue reading “Here Are 5 Stupid, Unfair and Sexist Things Expected of Men – by G. Christina”

Things Married People Should Not Say to Singles (via Hax)

This was published in an advice Hax column, December 2015.

Advice from a single adult to married people (this was not written by me; it was written by a guest writer at the Hax column):

——————————————-

On being single in a familial sea of marrieds:

I highly recommend that those who are married consider the following do’s and don’ts before they spend time with only one single person (or very few).

●Do not monopolize the conversation with discussions of your kids.

Being interested in keeping up with nieces, nephews and other relatives doesn’t mean wanting to hear a scene-by-scene description of little Sally’s role in the kindergarten play.

Besides being mind-numbingly boring, it can be disheartening to hear someone else go on about their joy in raising a child when you may never experience it for yourself.

●Do engage single people in conversations about their own lives such as job/career, hobbies or travel.

Continue reading “Things Married People Should Not Say to Singles (via Hax)”

Woman in 16 Year Marriage That Turned Sexless Wants To Know What To Do (Hax Letter)

Woman in 16 Year Marriage That Turned Sexless Wants To Know What To Do (Hax Letter)

A lot of Christians like to tell folks if they just hold off on sex until marriage, that the sex will be frequent and the best ever.

But then you see these letters or blog posts by married people who complain that the sex is terrible or is not happening at all. In some of these situations, the partner that wants sex will have an affair because the spouse with a low libido or sexual dysfunction is not putting out.

Christians need to stop promising singles that if they are chaste, they will have great and regular sex when they marry, and they need to continually remind married couples that celibacy is for married couples too – in a case where the husband lacks a sex drive, this does not give the wife the right to seek sex outside of marriage (or vice versa).

But too often, Christians just assume that the only persons who need to hear sermons and reminders about being sexually pure are singles. Wrong!

Note also that the woman writing this letter wants to have sex. She misses sex. Too often in secular and Christian culture, men are depicted as being randy horn dogs who always want to have sex, while married women are depicted as hating sex and not wanting it. The fact is a lot of women want sex and enjoy it. Sex isn’t for men only.

Here is the letter to Hax:

December 2015

Dear Carolyn (Hax):

  • I’ve been with my husband for 16 years, married 10. We were friends at first, and it grew into a mutual love. Generally we’re great.
  • The not-so-great part is that he stopped wanting sex, and it has been a source of contention for a few years now.

Continue reading “Woman in 16 Year Marriage That Turned Sexless Wants To Know What To Do (Hax Letter)”

2015 Poll: 70% of American Women Who Have Abortions Identify As Christian

2015 Poll: 70% of American Women Who Have Abortions Identify As Christian

And 40% are regular church goers.

I’m not sure what percentage of these women are married vs. single.

Anyway, it would appear that self professing Christians are no more successful at following the Bible’s or Jesus’ teachings than Non-Christians.

If any of these women are un-married, wow, the church needs to once more re-emphasize that single adults are directed by the Bible to sexually abstain – be celibate.

If these women were celibate, they wouldn’t be having sex, and hence, obviously, would not be becoming pregnant and not feel the need to get abortions.

But too much Christians today are too afraid to speak out against sexual sin, including (Link): preachers, because doing so (Link): may upset the sensitive feelings of Delicate Debbie,  Weepy Wendy, Sensitive Steven, Fornicating Fred, or Mopey Mike.

If, as many conservative Christians believe, being a mother makes a woman more loving, godly, and mature, why do so many Christian women who become pregnant get that child aborted?

Christians really need to re-think how they measure passage into maturity, adulthood, and how they measure sanctification, because getting married or getting pregnant (ie, having a baby) does not necessarily make a person more mature, loving, or godly, as these sorts of examples on my blog continue to show.

(Link):  4 in 10 women who have had abortions are regular churchgoers

  • by Harry Farley
  • Four in ten women who have had abortions are regular churchgoers, new figures by (Link): LifeWay Research reveal.
  • The church is more likely to be a place of gossip, judgement and condemnation than care or help for women who are considering abortion, the study shows.
  • This is despite the fact that 70 per cent of women who have had abortions claim a Christian religious preference and 43 per cent were attending church at least once a month at the time of their abortion.
  • ….Perhaps because it is such a taboo, the church is becoming increasingly irrelevant for women deciding whether to have an abortion.

Continue reading “2015 Poll: 70% of American Women Who Have Abortions Identify As Christian”

Boyfriend is Insecure About Girlfriend’s [Sexual] Past (Ask Amy Letter)

Boyfriend is insecure about girlfriend’s past (Ask Amy Letter)

Yes, sex sometimes means something to some people. Some people don’t believe in having numerous sexual partners, having casual sex, or what have you.

Some people can be troubled to know that their partner has a sexual history – or maybe can sort of compartmentalize it and suppress it, if they don’t get subjected to details about it.

Here we have a letter from a woman who says her current boyfriend is troubled by her sexual past.

Not everyone holds casual attitudes about sex.

Boyfriend is insecure about girlfriend’s past

Dear Amy:

I am seeking advice on a very touchy subject between me and my boyfriend of two years.

I am 24 years old. When I was 21, I was living in a different town and had a sexual relationship with another female.

This relationship did not last long, because I became conflicted and eventually determined I was just not interested in that lifestyle.

My boyfriend is everything to me! From our values to spirituality, he is my perfect match.

We have always been open and honest with each other. He has a daughter from a previous relationship, so he likes to make the point that he can’t hide his past.

I opened up about my past sexual history with the female. Now he seems to be struggling with a lot of insecurity.

I’m not sure what else I can do to comfort him, in that I am not gay. I was a young lady in a weird spot in life and experimented (like a lot of us do at that age).

But he is taking this very hard.

Continue reading “Boyfriend is Insecure About Girlfriend’s [Sexual] Past (Ask Amy Letter)”

Mom Is Ashamed of 30-Something Daughters Who’ve Never Been Married or Dated

Mom Is Ashamed of 30-Something Daughters Who’ve Never Been Married or Dated

From a November 2015 Ask Amy column.

Dear Amy:

I have two adult daughters, ages 32 and 36. Both are cute, intelligent and kind, and yet neither one has had a boyfriend — or has even gone out on a date — for five years.

Although friends and family have frequently offered to fix them up with people, both daughters have always refused, and now people have stopped offering.

Neither daughter will use an online dating program, although they both know of friends and family who have met their spouse/significant other this way.

This is a very sensitive topic for both of my daughters. They overreact strongly when I try to bring up the subject, telling me to “mind my own business.”

Continue reading “Mom Is Ashamed of 30-Something Daughters Who’ve Never Been Married or Dated”

All Dating Advice is as Terrible As the People Who Give It by Oliver Burkeman

All dating advice is as terrible as the people who give it

I saw this article awhile back and meant to blog about it but forgot until today.

I agree. Most all dating advice I’ve ever seen or heard has been terrible. It’s usually based on unrealistic stereotypes, or only what worked for the particular person who wrote it. What worked for your friend in snagging a spouse may not work for you, so I don’t know why people bother to give this advice or read it.

The only reason I bother to ever read it is to “hate read” it. I’m interested in seeing what awful advice the writers are doling out to adult singles.

A lot of dating advice does not work. I do occasionally see a point or two that is valid, but the lion’s share of dating advice I’ve seen just does not work. I think most dating advice, especially the advice being hyped in books, is bogus. It’s all about making a buck off lonely hearts.

Anyway, a lot of criticisms this guy has about dating advice are the same issues and problems I’ve noticed with it over the years, and some of the criticisms he raises are one reason I usually give most dating advice books and columns little to no attention.

(Link): All dating advice is as terrible as the people who give it