How About the Celibates? Christian Publications Continue to Spaz About Unmarried Christians Having Sex | (And a Link Dump)

How About the Celibates? Christian Publications Continue to Spaz About Unmarried Christians Having Sex – (Also in the post, links to various articles)

Not only are most Christian publications continually freaking out about un-married Christians who are doing the nasty (ie, having sex), but one Christian personality, Timothy Keller, goes so far as to bizarrely suggest that any and all struggles a person has with his or her faith is due to fornication (link below).

Notice that most of these Christian links below about sexuality and virginity are geared towards “youth.”

Christians past age 30 who are virgins who have sexual desire, who want to be married and having sex but marriage is not happening, are not discussed or addressed.

Does the church only care about the under 25 demographic remaining sexually pure? Is it okay with other Christians for me to have sexy sex now that I’m age 40+ and still not married?

The impression I get is that the church only cares about under- 25s or under- 30s abstaining, and the church just sort of gives up on you if you’re still not married at 30. I guess I can take this as indirect approval that I can have sex now, thanks American Christian culture for the pass!

Note that for every article Christian pastors and magazines devote to un-married Christians who are having sex, they are further and further pushing Christian celibates away.

When oh when will I begin to see such breathless devotion to Christians who are celibate get mentions or get featured prominently on the cover of “Christianity Today” every so often? Why do those who are sinning (i.e., the fornicators, and those fornicators who are under age 25 / 30) get all the attention from preachers and Christian publishers?

Here are the links:

(LINK): ‘Who Are You Sleeping With?’ My Conversation with Timothy Keller

Rachel Held Evans gave Keller the smack down at her blog (rightfully so – I mean who the hell seriously ascribes any and all skepticism to fornication?):

(Link): Is Doubt An STD (Sexually Transmitted Disease)?

(Link): Tim Keller, Rachel Held Evans, and the Virginity of Young Christians

(Link): The Gospel and Sex by Tim Keller

(Link): The Sex Lives of Unmarried Evangelicals From Christianity Today

(Link): There’s Too Much Sex Talk in Fundy Land (Re Christian Fundamentalists)

An entire site by Christians about sex – sex and the Gospel:

(Link): Sex and the Gospel – A Biblical View of Sex

(Link): Sex and the Gospel Conference to Teach ‘Foundation of God Sex’

Sex Shouldn’t Be Better Than Church, Says Professor

More ‘Men Are Visual’ Baloney, Discussed at Another Blog

More ‘Men Are Visual’ Baloney, Discussed at Another Blog (from someone with similar views as mine)

Here’s a post at another blog which covers some ground I’ve been over on my blog before:

(Link): Men Are Visual Women Are Vessels – post from (Link): “Emotional Abuse and You Blog

Here’s an excerpt or two from that page (please visit their blog to read the entire entry):

    This author [who tells married women their husbands are horn dogs to be sexually serviced around the clock, because they are visually stimulated all day long] needs to realize women feel used under those circumstances, and it doesn’t communicate being emotionally healthy at all. He basically states – men lust so make sure you are available when he needs it. Remember his ‘needs’. He is using shame to cover his sin.

    ….Are men going to notice women? Yes. They don’t have to be dressed a certain either. Think BURKA, and tell me those parts of the world LUST isn’t alive and well! They have a heck of a lot less ‘visuals’ to blame it on! Think about it.

Related posts, this blog:

(Link): Conflicting Message to Christian Women by Christians About Physical Appearance

(Link): The Annoying, Weird, Sexist Preoccupation by Christian Males with Female Looks and Sexuality

(Link): Christian Gender Complementarian Product for Females: Don’t Base Your Value on Your Looks, but Wait, Yes, You Should

(Link): Topics: Friendship is Possible / Sexualization By Culture Of All Relationships

(Link): Getting Married Does Not Necessarily Guarantee Frequent Hot Satisfying Sexy Sex / (also discussed): Gender and Sex Stereotypes (article)

(Link): When The Female Libido and Female Gaze Is Acknowledged in Religion – and the Shirtless Boston Terrorist

(Link): Article: Scientists: Why penis size does matter [to women]

(Link): Women Are Visual And Like Hot Looking Men (Part 1) Joseph in Genesis Was A Stud Muffin

Getting Married Does Not Necessarily Guarantee Frequent Hot Satisfying Sexy Sex – Husband is Sexless for Eight Years (article)

Getting Married Does Not Necessarily Guarantee Frequent Hot Satisfying Sexy Sex – Husband is Sexless for Eight Years (article)

Apparently, the problem of married people wanting sex but not getting any -because their spouses don’t want to have sex- is common enough that books have been written about the subject, including one called “The Sex-Starved Marriage” by M. Davis.

There are several different fairy tales conservative Christians hand out to Christian pre- teens and young adults to encourage them to refrain from fornicating: tell them to just hold on until they get married to have sex, or, that thought combined with the twist, “just wait until you get married, and the sex will be mind blowing!”

What happens when one partner in marriage, due to low libido, past sexual abuse, being physically exhausted, or just plain old disinterested in sex doesn’t “put out” as often as the other partner would prefer? Why, you wind up with a sex-less (or a non-plentiful sex life, at least possibly from the perspective of one spouse).

Here is an advice column that discusses the situation where a married man is not having sex at all:

Ask Amy: Sexless marriage lacking a connection

Ask Amy Man in Sexless Marriage

  • DEAR AMY: I’m 56 years old. I’ve been married for more than 20 years, and we haven’t made love in more than eight years. Is our sex life over forever?
  • ‘ve brought this up with my wife only five or six times in the last eight years, and it’s always the same. She says we’re not connected, not communicating. If only we were connected more, she says. What does that mean? One time we took a two-hour hike together. She felt ever so slightly more connected to me that day but not enough for sex.
  • I’m like a pot of boiling pasta on the stove, boiling over every year or so, then the heat is turned down, and I find myself simmering instead.
  • I love my wife. I think she’s attractive and I am in love with her. She’s put on weight in the last 20 years, and I know it bothers her, but I think she’s pretty, beautiful and sexy.
  • Sex is one of the only ways I know to show my love and to show that I am loved. I do get to demonstrate my love in other ways, like making her tea when she’s sick or buying her jewelry. I’m a good husband. We share kitchen chores and carpooling. We are as equal as anyone in this department. And I never leave the seat up!
  • We haven’t even kissed more than a quick peck at the departure gate at the airport or when I give her jewelry. What I’d give for a 10-minute kissing session — she’s such a good kisser.
  • I cannot believe that our sex life is over. It breaks my heart.[Signed,] — Sad

So much for the evangelical, Southern Baptist, and fundamentalist Christian promise to all single people that hot sexy sex is guaranteed in marriage!
Related posts:

(Link): Jason the Christian’s Sexless Marriage – Christians promise hot regular steamy married sex but it isn’t true

(Link): Newlywed Husband Divorces His Wife Hours After the Ceremony Because She Was Too Busy Texting Her Friends to Have Sex on Their Wedding Night

(Link): Why Doesn’t Your Husband Want to Have Sex? by E. Bernstein


Article: Our Born-Again Virgin Bachelor – Secondary or Spiritual Virginity

Article: Our Born-Again Virgin Bachelor

Link: Our Born-Again Virgin Bachelor

I’ve written about this issue before, this easy-forgivism regarding sexual sin, the terms “secondary virgin” etc. (see this link)

I hate to have to add this disclaimer every time I write on this issue, but there are some very sensitive, ardent feminists who dress you down if you do not…

Disclaimer: I am addressing women (and men) who engage in consensual sex in this post. I am not discussing women who are manipulated into sex or who are molested or raped. Yes, I agree that some segments of fringe Christianity put way too much emphasis on a female’s sexuality, virginity, modesty, and apparel. Yes, people who engage in sexual sin can experience God’s grace and be forgiven.

Now that I have that out of the way. And I have nothing new to say about this, really.

This “born again virgin” article I linked to is just another example I’ve seen of Christian culture cheapening true, actual virginity.

Those of us who refrained from sex and remain virgins into our 30s and older get no respect or encouragement, and no props, from Christian culture.

Conversely, and very hypocritically, a man like the one in the article (name: Sean Lowe) who engaged in fornication (sex outside of marriage), but who then declares he is abstaining now and who dubs himself as a “born again virgin,” gets immense kudos from Christian media.

Continue reading “Article: Our Born-Again Virgin Bachelor – Secondary or Spiritual Virginity”

Christian couple maintains abstinence through first two years of marriage (Satire)

Christian couple maintains abstinence through first two years of marriage (Satire / Humor)

(Link-via LARK NEWS – Satire, it’s not an actual news story): Christian couple maintains abstinence through first two years of marriage

    TOPEKA — Jon and Darla Crocker, who dutifully abstained from sex during their 14-month courtship, have remained abstinent after marriage and plan to do so indefinitely.

    “If it was holy before, it must be double-holy afterwards,” Darla says.

    They have now completed 25 months of marriage without any sexual contact, going about their normal lives, jobs and social calendar with no hint of relational strain.

    Sometimes after dinner they will kiss in the kitchen and “start having bedroom thoughts,” Darla says, but they never fail to pull back. Darla breaks away to spray cool, misted water on her face. Jon eats a whole raw potato to take himself out of the mood.

    They don’t know when they’ll finally break the pledge, and they feel no pressure. After abstaining so long before marriage, “a few extra years is nothing,” says Darla.

    “Of course, we don’t lord it over any other couple who decides to have sex after marriage, but for us it’s about staying faithful to the abstinence message and the holiness involved with that,” says Jon who seems unbothered. “For us, true love waits, and waits, and waits.”

While that artice is satire, I can totally see some Christians or denominations teaching that. The current trend by most Christians is to turn sex into an idol and obsess about it, but conservative Christians in general have weird, stupid, or bizarre ideas about sex in general.
Related posts this blog:

(Link): Ignatius the Ultimate Youth Pastor & Teaching Christian Singles About Sex

(Link): Husband’s celibacy gift disrupts marriage (Satire / Humor)

(Link): Video: Dating Advice for Single Christian Guys (satire)

(Link): Dating Jesus / Oh No I’m Single! (videos) – for single unmarried Christians

(Link): “He’s Got Muscles” – Pat Robertson Weirdness (Discussing Tebow’s Sexiness)

(Link): Unmarried Christian Women Ain’t Got Time Fo’ Dat!

(Link): A Mother / Baby Photo I don’t mind

(Link): Singles Humor

(Link): Weird Ass Farmer’s Dating Site Commercial

(Link): Weird Dating / Marriage Advice by [Christian preacher] Joel Osteen

(Link): Too Many eHarmony Commercials (with eHarmony video parody commercials)

(Link): My Christian Pundit Blog Avatar

(Link): Westboro Dating Site (Satire)

(Link): Rent- A- Husband (Regarding “Wedleases”)

(Link): Weird Marriages: Woman Marries Fairground Ride

(Link): Reaction to Secular Entertainment’s Presentation About Sex (videos)

(Link): Valentine’s Day – this is for all the Unmarried People / Never Married / Singles

(Link): Those Times When You’re Glad to be a Celibate, Single Christian – 2 [Herpes Dating Site]

(Link): Funny Photos for Christian Singles Never Married – Humor / Funny

(Link): Weird Dating Sites, Toilet Dating, Dating Sites and Privacy

(Link): More Weird Ass Highly Specialized Dating Sites
Serious stuff:

(Link): Blogs by Single Women Who Discuss the Weirdos, Perverts and Losers Who Contact Them on Dating Sites

(Link): Creepizoids Weirdos and Perverts on Dating Sites

(Link): Stop Telling Your Single Friends to Try Dating Sites – Please.

(Link): No, Christians and Churches Do Not Idolize Virginity and Sexual Purity

(Link): Are Most Churches Too Judgemental About Sexual Sin? (of the hetero variety)

(Link): Anti Virginity Editorial by Christian Blogger Tim Challies – Do Hurt / Shame Feelings or Sexual Abuse Mean Christians Should Cease Supporting Virginity or Teaching About Sexual Purity

(Link): Douglas Wilson and Christian Response FAIL to Sexual Sin – No Body Can Resist Sex – supposedly – Re: Celibacy

American Colleges Want Your Sex

American Colleges Want Your Sex

According to a Yale graduate, Yale (and a lot of colleges) want your sex too!

This guy wrote a book (see links below) where he explains that many American colleges host “sex week” where nude porno actresses perform sex acts in front of students, sex toy manufacturers display and market sex toys to students on campuses, and so on.

(Link: God and Sex At Yale, by By Harden, Nathan (book for sale))

(Link): Sex Week: God, Yale and a Good Education Gone Bad (interview with the author)

I remember growing up in the 1980s and 1990s and all the secular feminists telling me that to be truly empowered that I ought to be having lots of sex, with as many partners as I wanted, and as often as I wanted.

As I have discussed in previous posts, churches are telling me that God is “pro sex” and wants me to have a great sex life.

Now colleges are getting in on it too.

All these people telling me to have sex.

Churches want my sex. Universities want my sex. Feminists want my sex. Horn dog idiots on dating sites want my sex. Day-um, I am popular. American culture sure as hell is obsessed with sex.

—Links to Previous Related Posts on This Blog—

The Church Wants Your Sex – Part 1 (Ed Young’s Sexperiment)

The Church Wants Your Sex Part 2 – ‘Your Lame Sex Life’

The Church Wants Your Sex Part 2 – ‘Your Lame Sex Life’

The Church Wants Your Sex Part 2 – ‘Your Lame Sex Life’ church sponsored site

Church sponsored site:

(Link: My Lame Sex [Life] site)

(Link: Lame Sex Lame Excuses (video on You Tube))

(Link: Lame Sex (entire video SERIES on You Tube))

The sex site and sex series is from CCF AZ (Cornerstone Christian Fellowship in Arizona).

So, to the guys and pastor at Cornerstone Christian Fellowship in AZ… what sermons or advice do you have for over -40- years- of- age, never married, or over age 30 singles, who haven’t had sex yet? Or do we not matter? (click the “read more” link to read the rest of the post)
Continue reading “The Church Wants Your Sex Part 2 – ‘Your Lame Sex Life’”