A Table For One: A Critical Reading of Singlehood, Gender and Time (podcast and free book on singleness from author Kinneret Lahad)

A Table For One: Critical Reading of Singlehood, Gender and Time (podcast and free book on singleness from author Kinneret Lahad)

The author was also offering a free (yes, free – and it’s totally legal) download or copy of her book about singleness (a book which I have not read; I may do so later).

I did listen to the interview she gave for the podcast linked to here:

(Link): A Critical Reading of Singlehood, Gender and Time
^ Podcast on that Page

Why are you still single?

This question is often asked of single women, especially those who are deemed by loved ones or friends to be too old to be single.

In her newest book, A Table for One: A Critical Reading of Singlehood, Gender and Time(Manchester University Press, 2017), Kinneret Lahad analyzes this undertheorized aspect of the gendered experience.

Singlehood is inextricably linked to a post-structural analysis of time: not only are single women judged on their single status based on how old they are, but Lahad argues that being single often ages women at a faster rate in the eyes of others.

Continue reading “A Table For One: A Critical Reading of Singlehood, Gender and Time (podcast and free book on singleness from author Kinneret Lahad)”

Southern Baptist Al Mohler Intimates That Childless And Childfree Adults Are Not Human (2019) – and He Thinks This is a Good and Biblical Worldview

Southern Baptist Al Mohler Intimates That Childless And Childfree Adults Are  Not Human (2019) – and He Thinks This is a Good and Biblical Worldview

I am amazed that (Link): Mohler’s tweet / blog post / podcast from August 2019, where he indicates that anyone who doesn’t biologically pro-create is not fully human, did not get far more blow-back and attention than it did. Because it most certainly deserved a lot of push back.

(Please note: this post has been edited a few times since I published it, so that I could add more commentary and more links, and I may (or may not) edit it more in the future.)

At the time Mohler’s comment about this happened (August 2019),  I was too busy at the time to blog about it (or even months later). Hence, my post tackling this issue now, in June of 2020.

Mohler did (rightfully) get a lot of flack under the tweet at the time (I would ask that you (Link): click on the tweet link and read the replies he received), and one or two blogs ripped his attitude apart, but by and large, most did not tackle this.

Here is how Mohler’s tweet read (it is also embedded below):

Americans are basically, by the millions, giving up on the fact that to be human is to be a parent, eventually to take on that responsibility to get married and have children, to take on the responsibility of passing on civilization itself.
— end Mohler Tweet content —

Mohler also had a (Link): web page with either an essay or a podcast about this topic, but as of June 2020, the page does not seem to be working (you might be able to view an archived version of that page (Link): here – or view Mohler’s page on (Link): Google Cache).

At this point in time, I do not care to re-explain, for the billionth time, why the Bible and the God of the Bible does NOT support the “nuclear family,” marriage and natalism (and parenthood) to the insane degree that so many social conservatives and Christians and guys like Al Mohler assume.

I refer you to these older posts of mine which explain that no, the Bible does not endorse “the nuclear family,” marriage or parenting, not in the way conservative Christians presume it does (I have many more blog posts discussing this, I will only be sharing a few of them here – also some related posts here):

(Link): Conservatives Have Now Abandoned All Pretense of Advocating For Sexual Abstinence and They Actually Lament the Lack of Fornication – The Bradford Wilcox Piece, 2019

(Link):  “Who is my mother and who are my brothers?” – one of the most excellent Christian rebuttals I have seen against the Christian idolatry of marriage and natalism, and in support of adult singleness and celibacy – from CBE’s site

(Link):   If the Family Is Central, Christ Isn’t, by John B. Carpenter, CP Guest Contributor

(Link): Salvation By Marriage Alone – The Over Emphasis Upon Marriage by Conservative Christians Evangelicals Southern Baptists

(Link): Why Christians Need To Stress Spiritual Family Over the Nuclear Family – People with no flesh and blood relations including Muslims who Convert to Christianity – Also: First World, White, Rich People Problems

(Link): This Christmas, I’m Defining Family by My Single Friends by L. Wilbert

(Link): Family as “The” Backbone of Society? – It’s Not In The Bible

(Link):  Ever Notice That Christians Don’t Care About or Value Singleness, Unless Jesus Christ’s Singleness and Celibacy is Doubted or Called Into Question by Scholars?

(Link):  Really, It’s Okay To Be Single – In order to protect marriage, we should be careful not to denigrate singleness – by Peter Chin

(Link): Parents Who Regret Having Children Speak Honestly About Why It Was A Huge Mistake

(Link): The Bible Does Not Teach Christians to “Focus On The Family” – The Idolization of Family by American Christians (article)

(Link): Why Having Kids Won’t Fulfill You

Mohler Judging If Someone is Human Or Not Based on Their Childed Status

I’m pretty sure that the Bible says all humans are fully human because God deemed them so, and because all humans are created in the image of God.

The Bible says nothing about one’s value or worth or humanity being defined by marital or parental status.

God does not love childless or childfree people any less than he does people who have children.

Continue reading “Southern Baptist Al Mohler Intimates That Childless And Childfree Adults Are Not Human (2019) – and He Thinks This is a Good and Biblical Worldview”

U.S. Landlords Trying To Coerce Cash-Strapped Tenants Into ‘Sex-For-Rent’ Agreements

U.S. Landlords Trying To Coerce Cash-Strapped Tenants Into ‘Sex-For-Rent’ Agreements

(Link): US landlords trying to coerce cash-strapped tenants into ‘sex-for-rent’ agreements

(Link): Landlords Are Allegedly Asking For Sex From Tenants Who Can’t Afford To Pay Rent Right Now 

by A. Jamieson
April 15, 2020

“We’ve received more cases at our office in the last two days than we have in the last two years,” one women’s advocate told BuzzFeed News.

…And now some landlords are allegedly using the crisis as an opportunity to sexually harass vulnerable tenants struggling to afford rent.

“We have seen an uptick in sexual harassment,” said Sheryl Ring, the legal director at Open Communities, a legal aid and fair housing agency just north of Chicago. Ring said her organization has seen a threefold increase in sexual harassment complaints related to housing in the last month.

“Since this started, they [landlords] have been taking advantage of the financial hardships many of their tenants have in order to coerce their tenants into a sex-for-rent agreement — which is absolutely illegal,” said Ring.

Continue reading “U.S. Landlords Trying To Coerce Cash-Strapped Tenants Into ‘Sex-For-Rent’ Agreements”

Men Complain About Minor Issues With Dating Sites While Women Discuss Being Sexually Assaulted or Harassed by Men They Meet on Dating Sites

Men Complain About Minor Issues With Dating Sites While Women Discuss Being Sexually Assaulted or Harassed by Men They Meet on Dating Sites

This is pretty common: in many ways, men have life much easier than women, but they think they have life harder, especially the sexist, bitter, and/or immature dolt men who post to “red pill,” Men’s Rights, or MGTOW groups online.

So, a lot of men end up complaining about problems that are pretty inconsequential as compared to the ones many women face on a regular basis, as is demonstrated in this article (which I was first made aware of by a lady on Twitter, @DLulabele):

(Link): What happened to Lucy on a Tinder date was chilling. It’s time to investigate dating apps

Excerpts:

March 2020

It all started off pretty routinely: Lucy matched with a guy on Tinder, they chatted on the app, then they decided to meet up in person.

There was dinner, a movie, more banter – it was a fun date.

“He seemed lovely, I really liked him… He was a guy I could see myself dating.”

He drove up into the bush, towards the Dandenong Ranges on Melbourne’s outskirts. It’d be fun and they could sleep in the van, he said, despite Lucy’s protests.

“It was really scary and things definitely progressed more than I had wanted them to.”

Lucy told him she didn’t want to have sex, but her date didn’t listen.

“I was raped that night,” Lucy says.

Continue reading “Men Complain About Minor Issues With Dating Sites While Women Discuss Being Sexually Assaulted or Harassed by Men They Meet on Dating Sites”

Lawmakers Urge Justice Department to Start Enforcing Porn Laws by T. Perkins

Lawmakers Urge Justice Department to Start Enforcing Porn Laws by T. Perkins

This guy’s name – Perkins – is familiar. I think I’ve disagreed with some of his material in years past, but I can’t recall off hand exactly what. As far as this editorial goes, from what I’ve skimmed over, I don’t object to any of it.

(Link): Lawmakers Urge Justice Department to Start Enforcing Porn Laws

Excerpts:

If you’re indifferent about the crisis of pornography, The New York Times can change that—almost instantly. The paper jolted an entire nation into caring last year with its jarring exposé, (Link):  “What Teenagers Are Learning From Online Porn” (warning: extremely graphic).

What kids think is normal will shock and sober you. Because these aren’t Playboy magazines stashed under a teenage boy’s bed.

These are raw, violent, and nauseating videos that they don’t have to sneak into a store for.

Every time they hold a cellphone or log onto a laptop, the door is open to a life-changing experience that could kill the relationships in their lives forever.

Girls talk about learning how to “perform” from what they see online, using the scenes like a study guide.

The boys’ stories are even more disturbing.

Continue reading “Lawmakers Urge Justice Department to Start Enforcing Porn Laws by T. Perkins”

So-Called Virginity Tests Are Unreliable, Invasive and Sexist. And Yet They Persist. by H. Ka

So-Called Virginity Tests Are Unreliable, Invasive and Sexist. And Yet They Persist. by H. Kaur

I don’t agree with all content in this editorial or ones like it.

I don’t share the view that virginity is a “social construct,” as is stated in this editorial.

American culture shames people who are NOT sexually active – there is no respect from culture, churches, liberals, conservatives, atheists, Christians or anyone else, for virginity.

(Link): So-Called Virginity Tests Are Unreliable, Invasive and Sexist. And Yet They Persist.

(CNN) The comments, as soon as they made the rounds, were met with swift condemnation: Rapper T.I. says he takes his daughter to the gynecologist after each birthday to determine if she’s a virgin.

Celebrities and the Twittersphere howled in disbelief. Human rights advocates and doctors tut tutted their disapproval. The hosts of the podcast Ladies Like Us, where T.I. made the remarks, distanced themselves. (CNN could not reach T.I. for comment.)

As doctors and scientists will tell you, there is no test or exam that can reliably and accurately determine whether a girl or a woman has had sex — and consequently assess whether she’s a “virgin.”

Continue reading “So-Called Virginity Tests Are Unreliable, Invasive and Sexist. And Yet They Persist. by H. Ka”

Let’s Stop Praising Men Who Deign To Date Women Almost Their Own Age by B. Ellen

Let’s Stop Praising Men Who Deign To Date Women Almost Their Own Age by B. Ellen

(Link): Let’s Stop Praising Men Who Deign To Date Women Almost Their Own Age by B. Ellen

Excerpts:

Nov 9, 2019

Sexual politics hasn’t really evolved much if Keanu Reeves is hailed as a feminist

Keanu Reeves comes across as a sweetheart, but I’m not sure he actually deserves a sainthood for dating artist Alexandra Grant, who, at 46, is still nine years younger than him.

Nevertheless, their recent appearance on the red carpet (Grant, elegant with natural grey hair) was hailed as refreshing, even groundbreaking.

So it goes with the twisted maths of male-female age-appropriateness, especially in Hollywood – a man seen with anyone who isn’t half his age is hailed as a feminist god walking among us.

But why wouldn’t Reeves date Grant? She appears to be smart, talented, fun, a catch. But this is beyond one couple – this is about the gender politics of success and how society tells successful men that they “deserve” not only a beautiful, but also a much younger woman.

…Then there’s that other kind of age gap, with the freaky gendered socioeconomic dimension – where snagging a much younger woman becomes as much a signifier of male success as a mansion or a Porsche.

Here, the younger woman is less a human being than a male acquisition or achievement. I always wondered why some men were forever moaning nastily about gold-diggers.

…For women, the rules are different. Helena Bonham Carter has just been in the news with a much younger partnerand you’d have thought that witchcraft (bubbling cauldrons, the lot) must have been involved for this 53-year-old to lure this younger man into her aged lair. It barely matters that Bonham Carter is beautiful, talented and successful. That, these days, she’d be called a cougar rather than a crone. Still, society decrees that a woman’s status is rarely improved by her having a much younger male partner; if anything, it’s sacrificed.


Related:

(Link):  Study:  Big Gaps in Age Can Turn A Marriage Sour in Just Six Years

(Link): Younger Women Tend To Marry Older Men in the U.S. – But That’s Finally Changing by Dan Kopf (2018 Article)

(Link): Thirty Year Old Man Likes To Date and Have Sex with 80, 90 Year Old Women

(Link): “Dear Therapist: I’m Dating a Divorced Man With Kids, and It’s Harder Than I Thought – His Ex Wife Calls Constantly” (She Needs To Dump This Guy)

(Link):  Stop Telling Women Their Most Valuable Asset Is Their Youth

(Link):  Thirty Year Old Man Likes To Date and Have Sex with 80, 90 Year Old Women

(Link): Girlfriend, 26, Chops Off Her 40 Year Old Boyfriend’s Penis With Garden Shears

(Link): Woman Burned To Death For Refusing Marriage Proposal To A Man Over Half Her Age

(Link): What Is The #HusbandNotDad (hash tag)? Down The Rabbit Hole Of An Unlikely Hashtag by P. Frank

(Link):  Dear Abby: I Gave Up Dating, and 30 Years Later, I’m Lonely – letter from self-professing 70 year old guy who is overweight, says he prefers younger women and does not want to date women his own age

(Link):  Wife’s Shock As Husband, 26, Is Caught Cheating With a 72-Year-Old Lover at Premier Inn

(Link):  ‘I Want My 2.3 Bonus Years’ – A.K.A., ‘Where do 50-year-old men get the strange impression that they could date a 23-year-old?’ by Mona Chalabi

(Link): What It’s Really Like to Be a Guy Who Only Dates Much Older Women by L. Moore 

(Link): French Author Yann Moix, 50, Says Women Over 50 Are ‘Invisible’ To Him

(Link): Men Become ‘Invisible’ And Lose Sex Appeal At 39 – Article from Daily Caller

(Link): A 69 Year Old Man Wants to Self Identify as a 40-Something to Increase His Chances on Dating Sites

(Link):  How Dating In Your 40s Is Nothing Like Dating In Your 20s – via NY Post – A Secular Editorial Grasps what Married Christian Relationship Advice Givers Do Not

(Link): Ageism Vs. Age Preferences and Creepy Older Men (critique of post at another blog) 

(Link): The Bigger the Age Gap The Shorter The Marriage  / Divorce Rates Predicted By Age Differences

(Link): Avoid Dating Divorced Guys Who Are Dating on the Rebound – and Icky May December Relationships

(Link): Obnoxious, Condescending, Sexist, Pervy Esquire Editorial by 50-Something Year Old Man: “In Praise of 42 Year Old Women” – Condescendingly Reassures 40 Something Women He’d Sex Them Up

(Link): Follow Up – Reactions by Other Writers to Sexist, Condescending 50 Something Men Who Think They Are Final Arbiters of If Women Are Attractive Past Age of 40 (Re: Esquire Editorial by Junod)

(Link): Follow Up Part 2 – Reactions by Other Writers to Sexist, Condescending 50 Something Men Who Think They Are Final Arbiters of If Women Are Attractive Past Age of 40 (Re: Esquire Editorial by Junod)

(Link): Online Dating: Women Want Younger Men (article)

(Link): Christian Males Blaming their Unwanted Protracted Singleness on Feminism – They have the wrong target

(Link): Couple Says 30-Year Age Gap Means Hotter Sex (*Barf*)

(Link): Creepizoids Weirdos and Perverts on Dating Sites

The Oxymoron of Ethical Porn via End Sexual Exploitation

The Oxymoron of Ethical Porn via End Sexual Exploitation

As much as I criticize conservative Christians and conservative “pro family values” groups on this blog, I have to say I’ve actually seen people who identify as ex-Christian or “progressive” Christians who actually sit around defending porn, and one way they do this is to argue that there is such a thing as “ethically produced” porn, and that “ethically produced” porn is morally acceptable.

As much as conservatives get a few things wrong, the progressives and liberals also get things wrong. This is one of those things.

(Link): The Oxymoron of Ethical Porn via End Sexual Exploitation

Excerpts:

As porn use and production become more rampant than ever, so do the justifications of the exploitative behavior. A new wave of so-called “ethical” porn has emerged to ease the consciences of the porn viewing community. Liz Walker (Link): has written an analysis of the many fallacies this theory poses.

First, there is the question of self-created porn. While this is an increasing trend due to the rise of smartphones, self-creation does not imply consent the way many assume.

Walker first points out that just as in mainstream pornography, the actors may face external pressure to create this content.

Continue reading “The Oxymoron of Ethical Porn via End Sexual Exploitation”

Supposedly Woman-Honoring and Pro-Marriage Focus On the Family Group Wants Wives to Blame Themselves If or When Their Husbands Commit Adultery – Re: Book: ‘How God Used the Other Woman,’ by Tina Konkin

Supposedly Woman-Honoring and Pro-Marriage Focus On the Family Group Wants Wives to Blame Themselves If or When Their Husbands Commit Adultery – Re: Book: ‘How God Used the Other Woman,’ by Tina Konkin

I have some new developments in my personal life that have kept me busy the last month or two, which is why I’ve not been blogging as often.

During this time, I do recall seeing comments on other people’s blogs and on Twitter, about some idiotic, sexist, stupid book that “Focus On The Family” was recommending or selling.

Here is a page about the book by Tina Konkin that created an uproar:

(Link): How God Used “the Other Woman”: Saving Your Marriage After Infidelity via Focus On The Family site

Excerpts about that book from the site:

In How God Used “the Other Woman,” Konkin shares how she and her husband Ron saved their marriage after his affair and fought to make it better than ever before.
——

I am horrified to see that this Tina Konkin works as (or claims to be) (Link): a “relationship expert.”

This awful book of hers is also being sold at Wal-Mart.

From what I can recall, it’s a book for Christian wives that tells them how to approach their husband or their marriage if and whenever their husband should commit adultery,
and their view is that you, you Christian wife, should blame yourself for  your husband’s adultery, don’t hold him accountable, and just write off the situation as a learning experience.

Below you will find a few links or videos to work by other people refuting such a disgusting viewpoint.

Before I get to those resources, though, I wanted to point out how utterly hypocritical these conservative secular and conservative Christian groups are, who proclaim they respect women, and marriage, and The Nuclear Family. Continue reading “Supposedly Woman-Honoring and Pro-Marriage Focus On the Family Group Wants Wives to Blame Themselves If or When Their Husbands Commit Adultery – Re: Book: ‘How God Used the Other Woman,’ by Tina Konkin”

Transgender Activists Terrorize Women’s Rape Crisis Center with Hateful Graffiti by Matt Margolis

Transgender Activists Terrorize Women’s Rape Crisis Center with Hateful Graffiti by Matt Margolis

There are a few reasons I cannot support Transgenderism across the board, this is one of them: the harassment of, and misogyny against, actual (“cis”) girls and women in the name of Transgender activism
(and, if the trans activist killed the animal mentioned in this report to nail the animal to the door of this shelter, that makes this person an animal abuser as well, and all animal abusers are absolute scum – edit; second report says a dead skunk was also placed at the shelter by the trans rights group – again, if you kill animals, especially just to make a statement over something like this, you are a demented pervert and sicko, and no, I do not support your “cause”):

(Link): Transgender Activists Terrorize Women’s Rape Crisis Center with Hateful Graffiti by Matt Margolis

Excerpts:

August 2019

Why would anyone vandalize a rape crisis center? What kind of a twisted mind would do such a thing? In this “brave new world,” where the feelings of transgender individuals trump commonsense and the privacy of everyone else, it appears that transgender activists have decided to oppose offering relief services for victims of rape, and shelters for women and children because of the strict “women only” policies that exclude men who claim to be women.

….[Editorial quotes from (Link): Trans activism’s latest trick: vandalizing women’s shelters by Meghan Murphy]

On Tuesday, Vancouver Rape Relief & Woman’s Shelter (VRRWS) tweeted images of vandalism left on their storefront — a space used for meetings, events, and support groups. ‘Kill TERFs,’ ‘F**k TERFs,’ ‘TERFs go home, you are not welcome,’ ‘Transwomen are women,’ and ‘Trans Power’ had been scrawled across the windows and door in black marker.

‘ TERF,’ for the blissfully ignorant, is an acronym that stands for ‘trans-exclusionary radical feminist.’ This is, of course, a misnomer.

Radical feminists are not interested in ‘excluding’ trans-identified people from anything.

What they  are interested in is protecting certain spaces designated for women and girls.

Continue reading “Transgender Activists Terrorize Women’s Rape Crisis Center with Hateful Graffiti by Matt Margolis”

Man Confesses to Threatening to Rape, Murder Pro-Life Activists

Man Confesses to Threatening to Rape, Murder Pro-Life Activists

Many pro-choice adherents claim to be “pro woman,” but I don’t see how this guy can be “pro woman” when he’s willing to rape and murder women (or their daughters) over a difference of opinion on the abortion issue.

(Link): Man Confessed to Threatening to Rape, Murder Pro-Life Activists

Excerpts:

A Kansas man has admitted to the crime of threatening to rape and murder employees at a national pro-life organization.

Christopher M. Thompson, 22, of Wichita, plead guilty on Monday to one count of threatening members of Operation Rescue in 2018.

According to a statement by the Department of Justice’s U.S. Attorney’s Office for the District of Kansas, Thompson admitted to making three phone calls to Operation Rescue in one day that included threats against them.

Continue reading “Man Confesses to Threatening to Rape, Murder Pro-Life Activists”

It’s A Woman’s Choice: Falling Fertility Rates Are Not the Business of Government by G. Hinsliff

It’s A Woman’s Choice: Falling Fertility Rates Are Not the Business of Government by G. Hinsliff

(Link): It’s A Woman’s Choice: Falling Fertility Rates Are Not the Business of Government

The British birthrate is at a record low, but policymakers should steer clear of trying to influence this most personal of decisions

August 2019

How many children should a woman have, and when? It’s a trick question, of course, because the answer is nearly always “none of your damn business”.

There is no one perfect solution to this most personal and intimate of dilemmas, no iron rule for getting it right, and yet that doesn’t stop the world and its aunt seemingly having an opinion.

Continue reading “It’s A Woman’s Choice: Falling Fertility Rates Are Not the Business of Government by G. Hinsliff”

Teenage Girl, 18, Knocked Out In Street After Telling Man Who Followed Her From Club ‘I’m Not Interested’

Teenage Girl, 18, Knocked Out In Street After Telling Man Who Followed Her From Club ‘I’m Not Interested’

I don’t know what’s more distressing: that men feel it’s acceptable to verbally or physically attack women who reject their advances in the first place, or the men I see online who were defending guys who do this (and assume the teen-aged girl in question did something to “deserve it”),
or the idiotic and oblivious Christian men (like the one I debated with today on social media about this)
-and other types of men- online who assume that single men have life and relationships worse than women do – when men don’t face attacks like this from women when they are out and about.

I read two articles about this: the girl in the story had just left a club with a male friend of hers, when a man and his two friends started following her down the street. The girl in this news item had NOT been flirting with this man inside the club, nor was she accepting drinks from him inside the club.

I mention that fact because one sexist asshole who left a comment under one of the news tweets about this story said something like, “She was probably taking drinks off men like him all night then blowing them off when they flirted, so she deserved this.”

I tweeted at the guy that the man was not even in the club with her when this started – at no time did he buy her a drink, and even had he, it would still not give him the right to attack this girl or to harass her or intimidate her as she walked home.

In all my years of collecting links to place on this blog, I’ve seen only a few where women attack men – usually their boyfriends or husbands – when their male partner refuses to have sex with them. (I have a few examples of this on my blog.)

However! The vast majority of news items I see where one person rejects the advances of another features male-on-female violence. Yet some men want me to believe they have dating or single life just as hard as women do.

No, you men do not – you men don’t have dating and singleness any where near as difficult as women do.

(Link): Teenage Girl, 18, Knocked Out In Street After Telling Man Who Followed Her From Club ‘I’m Not Interested’

July 2019

AN 18-YEAR-OLD girl was punched unconscious after telling a man who followed her home from a nightclub that she wasn’t interested.

Gabrielle Walsh was on a night out with her friend Kyle McKeown in the Manchester city centre over the weekend when they were attacked.

They were walking from Club Bloom in the Gay Village at about 3.30am when three men approached them.

Continue reading “Teenage Girl, 18, Knocked Out In Street After Telling Man Who Followed Her From Club ‘I’m Not Interested’”

No One Told Me Exactly What to Expect From Menopause. But the Messages I Did Get Were Very Wrong by D. Steink

No One Told Me Exactly What to Expect From Menopause. But the Messages I Did Get Were Very Wrong by D. Steinke

(Link): No One Told Me Exactly What to Expect From Menopause. But the Messages I Did Get Were Very Wrong

Excerpts:

I was 50 when I woke in my dark attic bedroom in Brooklyn, my heart speeding and my body incandescent with heat. I did not feel simply hot, no, I was being smothered by an internal fire that seemed to pool inside my body like lava.

At first I thought it was a heart attack.

After more flashes, over my morning bowl of oatmeal, as I rode the subway under the East River and while I taught, I realized it was not a heart attack. It was a hot flash.

I had entered menopause, that fraught transition in every woman’s life, known in an earlier time as The Dangerous Age.

Earlier life stages, going through puberty and giving birth, had opened up new worlds, the excitement of sexuality and motherhood.

But menopause arrived without absorbing directives. Instead of new obsessions and responsibilities, I felt a nothingness.

It’s a void created in part by our oversexed patriarchal culture, a world that has little respect for older women.

Valued most for our sexuality and role as mothers many women feel, once that phase is over, as I did. Marginalized. The message, never stated directly but manifesting in myriad ways, is an overwhelmingly nihilistic one: your usefulness is over. Please step to the sidelines.

…..I searched for books that might help me understand what was happening to me. I read Suzanne Sommers’ The Sexy Years and Gail Sheedy’s Silent Passages.

Both are fear-based.

Both authors are frantic to keep the veneer of a fertile femininity intact.

Continue reading “No One Told Me Exactly What to Expect From Menopause. But the Messages I Did Get Were Very Wrong by D. Steink”

Inside Secret World of Incels Who Turn To Murder Because They’ve Never Had Sex by J. Lavender

Inside Secret World of Incels Who Turn To Murder Because They’ve Never Had Sex by J. Lavender

Ah, male entitlement. I’m a celibate, hetero woman who had hoped to marry (and hence be having sex with a husband), I’m still single and celibate over age of 45, but I don’t run around killing men because of it.

I do not believe men owe me sex or marriage. Too bad our culture largely sends a message to boys and men in movies, magazine ads, and so on, that they are all deserving and owed marriage, sex, or dates.

Rejection is a part of life, whether we’re talking about not getting what we want romance-wise (no marriage, no dates, no sex, etc), or in other areas. You can go out on a lot of job interviews and be rejected by employer after employer.

Notice that in some of these cases, men are also harmed by incels: incels don’t always just target women, they also kill men in their rampages.

(Link): Inside secret world of Incels who turn to murder because they’ve never had sex

July 2019

WARNING: DISTRESSING CONTENT Elliot Rodger butchered six people because he was a virgin and had been constantly rejected by women

When Elliot Rodger slaughtered six university students he had never met, the world united in grief.

But when it emerged that the 22-year-old had carried out the senseless murdersof innocent victims because he was virgin who had been rejected by women, grief turned to horror.

Rodger’s horrific actions exposed a chilling online underworld of the Incels, meaning involuntarily celibate.

Continue reading “Inside Secret World of Incels Who Turn To Murder Because They’ve Never Had Sex by J. Lavender”

A Man Allegedly Shot A Baby In The Head After Her Mom Rejected Him At A Party by B. Sacks

A Man Allegedly Shot A Baby In The Head After Her Mom Rejected Him At A Party by B. Sacks

Here is an example of Toxic Masculinity – a phenomenon that many conservatives either misunderstand or believe does not exist. (Note to any new-comers: I am a conservative. I am not a liberal, but I do agree with liberals and feminists that Toxic Masculinity is real.)

(Link) A Man Allegedly Shot A Baby In The Head After Her Mom Rejected Him At A Party

June 2019

The 10-month-old girl had surgery Sunday to remove bullet fragments from her skull. The suspect has been charged with attempted murder.

A man allegedly shot a 10-month-old baby in the head after her mother rejected him at a party, police said.

Officials in Fresno, California, say 23-year-old Marcos Antonio Echartea had continuously hounded Deziree Menagh at a party Saturday night.

Echartea allegedly met the 18-year-old woman the week before and, when he ran into her at the gathering, tried to grab her hand.

Continue reading “A Man Allegedly Shot A Baby In The Head After Her Mom Rejected Him At A Party by B. Sacks”

The Unintended Consequences of the Contraceptive Mandate by Greer Donley

The Unintended Consequences of the Contraceptive Mandate by Greer Donley

(Link): The Unintended Consequences of the Contraceptive Mandate

Excerpts:

June 2019

Its exclusion of men perpetuates harmful stereotypes. The most obvious one is that birth control is a woman’s responsibility.

In 1971, the Supreme Court for the first time struck down a law under the Constitution’s equal-protection clause that treated men and women differently.

Courts since then have invalidated countless laws that discriminated on the basis of sex.

Bucking convention, advocates frequently attacked laws that were designed to benefit women under the theory that such laws perpetuated harmful sex stereotypes that “put women, not on a pedestal, but in a cage.”

Americans now take for granted that the government acts illegally when it creates self-fulfilling legislation that presumes women are caregivers or do not work outside the home.

Continue reading “The Unintended Consequences of the Contraceptive Mandate by Greer Donley”

Museum of Sex a Hotbed For Sexual Harassment: Suit

Museum of Sex a Hotbed For Sexual Harassment: Suit

(Link): Museum of Sex a Hotbed For Sexual Harassment: Suit 

A Museum of Sex employee says she was constantly subjected to sexual harassment by drunken customers and coworkers and when she complained her bosses told her it’s “the nature of the establishment,” according to her new lawsuit.

Katherine McMahon said she worked at the Fifth Avenue museum — which houses over 20,000 artifacts relating to sex — as a gallery attendant and researcher getting paid $13.25 an hour from February 2018 until she was forced to quit in December after her and other female employees’ concerns were neglected, the Manhattan Civil suit alleges. 

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Priest Who Urged Women to Cover Their Shoulders To Protect Men’s ‘Purity” Calls Twitter ‘Demonic’ – Wipes Account

Priest Who Urged Women to Cover Their Shoulders To Protect Men’s ‘Purity” Calls Twitter ‘Demonic’ – Wipes Account

When will men – especially conservative, religious, men – stop blaming women for the men’s sexual hang ups and sexual sins? It is not a woman’s responsibility to dress a certain way to keep a man “from stumbling.”

You men are responsible for your own thought lives and actions.

For one man, bare shoulders may be sexy, but to another, no. A woman cannot dress in such a way to please all men all the time. It’s subjective to a large degree.

I thought this sort of sexist kook-ery was the province of Baptists and Protestants only, but no, the Catholics are in on this nonsense as well.

(Link): Priest who urged women to cover their shoulders to protect men’s ‘purity’ calls Twitter ‘demonic’ – wipes account

Excerpts:

Last week a Catholic priest drew nationwide attention – and outrage – after taking to Twitter (Link): to urge women to cover their shoulders to protect men’s “purity.” The responses were what you might expect, mostly outrage and accusations of misogyny.  

Continue reading “Priest Who Urged Women to Cover Their Shoulders To Protect Men’s ‘Purity” Calls Twitter ‘Demonic’ – Wipes Account”

Explanation of the Difference Between Flirting and Sexual Harassment is Spot On by S. Ankel

(Link): Explanation of the Difference Between Flirting and Sexual Harassment is Spot On by S. Ankel

Ever since sexual harassment has become a widely discussed topic, there have been people complaining about how the #MeToo movement has ruined flirting.

This was especially the case after the allegations against Aziz Ansari were made in January 2018.

But no one has managed to sum it up quite as well as comedian Kate Willett, who articulated the clear black-and-white difference between flirting and sexual harassment in a Facebook post that has since gone viral.

Continue reading “Explanation of the Difference Between Flirting and Sexual Harassment is Spot On by S. Ankel”