Nearly 1 in 10 Women Find Sex Painful, Study Finds

Nearly 1 in 10 Women Find Sex Painful, Study Finds

But Christian complementarians don’t care!

How do I know? Because in years past, any time I’ve seen male pastors or male Christians discuss sexuality issues on Christian shows on television, they’ve denoted that if a woman has “hang ups” about sex (because she was previously raped or sexually abused at some point in her life, even in childhood) – that is preventing her husband from having sex whenever he wants – that she should go see a therapist and get over it already.

These male pastors and male Christians convey that the married woman who has difficulty with sex in marriage because she is still dealing with past sexual trauma (i.e. rape or sexual abuse) needs to just shove it aside so she can have sex with her husband, because her husband is really horny and wants sex (again I must ask: have men, even Christian ones, never heard of masturbation?)

The emphasis with men, even Christian ones, is not the feelings and needs of the woman, but how the selfish ass hat men can get any and all the sex they want from their wives, their wives needs and concerns be dammed.

So I have no reason to believe that the sexist d-bags of the Christian world such as but not limited to Mark Driscoll, John Piper, John MacArthur, Pat Robertson, et al, would care if “one in ten women experiences pain during intercourse”

(Link): Nearly 1 in 10 Women Find Sex Painful, Study Finds

Excerpts:

by D. Steingold

Being intimate is an important part of keeping a healthy relationship, but for some women, there’s nothing enjoyable about it. According to a recent British study, nearly one in 10 women find sex to be painful.

Continue reading “Nearly 1 in 10 Women Find Sex Painful, Study Finds”

Husband Takes His Own Life ‘Because of Lack of Sex’ and His Wife Is Arrested

Husband Takes His Own Life ‘Because of Lack of Sex’ and His Wife Is Arrested

This sounds like both a Christian gender complementarian nightmare AND a dream.

From the male complementarian perspective, it would be a nightmare to live without sex because the sexist douche bags (i.e., Christian complementarians) are entitled and have no concept of self sacrifice, self control, nor have any of them heard of masturbation.

The “dream” part is the notion that their wife would be imprisoned or put to death for having refused to “put out.”

This is the nightmare AND dream of sexist jackasses such as, but not limited to, Douglas Wilson, John Piper, Owen Strachan, Al Mohler, and Mark Driscoll.

(Link): Husband Takes His Own Life ‘Because of Lack of Sex’ and His Wife Is Arrested

Geeta Parmar has been arrested in Gujarat, India, after her mother-in-law blamed her for the death of husband Surendrasinh, who reportedly took his own life last month

The grieving widow faces charges in India following a criminal complaint by the man’s mother.

Continue reading “Husband Takes His Own Life ‘Because of Lack of Sex’ and His Wife Is Arrested”

‘I Prefer Cleaning My House Than Having Sex’ -various women talk about how they prefer house cleaning to having sex

‘I prefer cleaning my house than having sex’

(Link): Meet four women who prefer cleaning the house to having sex with their partners

CLEANING is the new sex – that’s what Jessie J says, anyway.

The Do It Like A Dude singer, who is in an on-off relationship with Magic Mike actor Channing Tatum, said: “Cooking, organising and sex are my favourite things, in that order.”

The 31-year-old said tidying was her “love language”, and she’s not the only celebrity who has taken to this new kind of clean living.

Continue reading “‘I Prefer Cleaning My House Than Having Sex’ -various women talk about how they prefer house cleaning to having sex”

Women Reveal What It Feels Like To Be In A Sexless Marriage by K. Borresen

Women Reveal What It Feels Like To Be In A Sexless Marriage by K.  Borresen

Before I give you the link to the article, I wanted to say…

I’ve mentioned this before in my years of blogging here and will continue to mention this, but: the Christianity I grew up with in the 1970s to the 1990s emphasized that if a person just sexually abstained until marriage, that married sex would be great and frequent.

We were also taught by Christians, especially of the complementarian variety, that only men want and “need” sex, while all women supposedly hate sex and have to be convinced through those frequent, annoying, male-entitled sermons by sexist idiot male Christians, that wives should put out more for their husbands, because God supposedly “wired” men to want sex more (which is a lot of crap).

At any rate, almost all examples I have on my blog of sexless marriages (and yes, even Christians can end up in sexless marriages), are of  married WOMEN who say they MISS sex and aren’t having any because their HUSBAND (for whatever the reason) does not want to have sex.

This goes to reveal that conservative and complementarian assumptions about men and women’s sexuality is completely incorrect.

This below, from Huffington Post, is quite long, so I will not be copying the entire piece to my blog, only a few excerpts.

(Link): Women Reveal What It Feels Like To Be In A Sexless Marriage

Excerpts:

Coping with rejection, frustration and low self-worth can take a toll on both partners in the relationship.

By Kelsey Borresen
11/08/2019 02:59pm EST

When a couple stops having sex, it doesn’t just affect things in the bedroom — it often puts a strain on the entire relationship.

If both partners are content with little to no sex, then those dry spells (which are (Link): quite common, by the way) may not pose a problem. But in relationships in which one or both partners value their sex lives, a dead bedroom can bring up painful emotions, fears and resentments that just push them further and further apart.

Continue reading “Women Reveal What It Feels Like To Be In A Sexless Marriage by K. Borresen”

Woman Almost Dies From Allergic Reaction After Sex With Husband by S. Osbourn

Woman Almost Dies From Allergic Reaction After Sex With Husband by S. Osbourn

Sometimes there are advantages and benefits to being sexually abstinent.

…And let this go to show that the Christian propaganda that marriage will lead to great, regular sex is a FALSEHOOD. Christians especially liked to emphasize that remaining a virgin until marriage leads to great, regular sex.

Well, in cases such as this one (and others I have on this blog), sometimes a person is physically incapable of having sex, because doing so is too physically painful – or impossible.

(Link): Woman Almost Dies From Allergic Reaction After Sex With Husband

Samuel Osborne, The Independent •
November 8, 2019

A woman nearly died from an allergic reaction after having sex with her husband,

The 46-year-old from Baltimore, Maryland, suffered an anaphylactic reaction to a medication her husband was taking through exposure to her husband’s semen, according to the case report in the American Journal of Medicine.

Continue reading “Woman Almost Dies From Allergic Reaction After Sex With Husband by S. Osbourn”

Woman Who Has Sex With Her Husband Just Once a Year Due to Suffering Excruciating Pain During Intercourse

Woman Who Has Sex With Her Husband Just Once a Year Due to Suffering Excruciating Pain During Intercourse

This isn’t the first example on my blog of a married person incapable of having sex due to physical health problems or due to having been sexually abused prior to marriage or what have you.

A lot of Christians – usually conservative ones who have turned Marriage and The Nuclear Family into idols – wrongly promise single adults that if they wait until marriage to have sex, that the married sex they will have will be regular, hot, satisfying and wonderful.

In all my years growing up in such Christianity, I never once heard any of the preachers or Christian talking heads address issues such as what to do like the one below.

About the only time I’ve heard Christians bother to address such issues (and that’s been within the last ten or so years), they wrongly assume that only men want sex (they never address the marriages where the husband doesn’t want to have sex but the wife does).

If Christians bother to address female sexual abuse victims (who were molested as children and who are adults now) who don’t want to have married sex, their only response is to insensitively shame and pressure such women into having sex they don’t want to be having.

Because these Christians who do this – and it’s usually men – wrongly believe that all men are entitled to sex, and Christian men care more about men’s sexual desires being met than they care about ministering to wounded women.

Anyway, let this news story below go to demonstrate that being married is not a guarantee that an individual will have great, regular, wonderful sex. Sometimes the married sex is infrequent and/or it’s lousy.

(Link): Woman Who Has Sex With Her Husband Just Once a Year Due to Suffering Excruciating Pain During Intercourse

Excerpts:

October 2019

A woman who experiences excruciating pain during intercourse has revealed she only has sex with her husband once a year. 

Natalie Bricker, 35, from Newark, Delaware, was diagnosed with persistent genital arousal disorder in 2018, a condition which causes her severe pelvic pain every time she is aroused.

Continue reading “Woman Who Has Sex With Her Husband Just Once a Year Due to Suffering Excruciating Pain During Intercourse”

‘My Wife and I Had Great Sex For 45 Years, But Now I’d Like to Sleep With Men’ – So Hetero Marriage is Responsible For Creating More Homosexuality

‘My Wife and I Had Great Sex For 45 Years, But Now I’d Like to Sleep With Men’ – So Hetero Marriage is Responsible For Creating More Homosexuality

Obviously, a lot of conservative Protestant, Baptist, and evangelical and secular conservative talking points and propaganda about the nuclear family and marriage are not truthful or accurate.

Here we have a married guy who has been married to a woman for 45 years, but now, he’d like to have sex with men (see link/letter much farther below).

Your average conservative Christian would have you believe that marriage makes people more godly, mature, and ethical.

Those marriage and nuclear family conservative and Christian advocates would have you believe that once you marry (they always assume you will marry, they usually take no notice of adults who remain single over the age of 30), that you’ll be having sex with your spouse, and that the married hetero sex you have will be regular and of great quality.

Obviously, this man being discussed below who is married to a woman didn’t make him any less reluctant or less interested in having sex with other men.

It’s become apparent with each year I get older and see more and more news stories and advice columns like this one, that being married is not, contrary to what most Christians teach and believe, a guarantee for sexual satisfaction in life, nor does it guarantee happiness or make a person better or more godly, responsible, or mature.

It’s also evident that Marriage and The Family are not going to fix the culture, as so many talking Christian heads keep arguing.

And, another kicker that I find even more annoying and amusing in light of this article / advice column below:
A few years ago, I saw an editorial or two where the conservative or Christian authors were blaming heterosexual single adults for the seeming proliferation of homosexuals in our culture, or for the widespread acceptance of homosexuality.

Those conservative commentators were trying to blame Hetero singles (yes, heterosexuals) for homosexuality becoming more commonplace in the USA. (You can read one of those posts (Link): here.)

But here we have a letter from a Hetero married guy who wants to be Homosexual. This is not an un-married man. He is not already homosexual. He was married TO A WOMAN and yet STILL wants to engage in homosexual sex acts.

Obviously, adult singles of the Hetero (or Homo) variety did not “cause” this guy to go LGBT – he’s already married to a woman and by his own account had been having hetero married sex for 45 years… and yet, he wants to have sex with other men. Singleness and single adults can in no way be blamed for this.

(Link): My Wife and I Had Great Sex For 45 Years, But Now I’d Like to Sleep With Men

By STOYA and RICH JUZWIAK
SEPT 05, 2019

Dear How to Do It,

I am a 68-year-old man who has been married to a woman for 45 years, with three grown kids.

Over the course of our marriage, we have been very active sexually, but for various reasons over the past five or six years, our sexual activity has declined dramatically.

Continue reading “‘My Wife and I Had Great Sex For 45 Years, But Now I’d Like to Sleep With Men’ – So Hetero Marriage is Responsible For Creating More Homosexuality”

Why a Woman’s Sex Life Declines After Menopause (Hint: Sometimes It’s Her Partner) By T. Parker-Pope

Why a Woman’s Sex Life Declines After Menopause (Hint: Sometimes It’s Her Partner) By T. Parker-Pope

(Link): Why a Woman’s Sex Life Declines After Menopause (Hint: Sometimes It’s Her Partner)

Excerpts:

By Tara Parker-Pope
August 2019

A revealing new analysis gives voice to the many reasons a woman’s sex life often falters with age.

For many women, sex after menopause is not as satisfying as it used to be. But is menopause entirely to blame?

New research suggests that the hormonal changes that come with menopause are only part of the reason a woman’s sex life declines with age. It’s true that many women experience symptoms after menopause, including vaginal dryness, painful intercourse and loss of desire — all of which can affect the frequency and pleasure of sex.

But the new study shows that the reasons many women stop wanting sex, enjoying sex and having sex are far more complex.

While women traditionally have been blamed when sex wanes in a relationship, the research shows that, often, it’s the health of a woman’s partner that determines whether she remains sexually active and satisfied with her sex life.

(Most studies have focused entirely on heterosexual women, so less is known about same-sex couples after menopause.)

Continue reading “Why a Woman’s Sex Life Declines After Menopause (Hint: Sometimes It’s Her Partner) By T. Parker-Pope”

Ask E. Jean: My Husband Will Not Shower

Ask E. Jean: My Husband Will Not Shower

So much for the conservative and Christian myth that marriage makes people more mature, godly, and responsible.

(Link): Ask E. Jean: My Husband Will Not Shower

How do I get the guy to be more into hygiene? I’ve tried everything!

Continue reading “Ask E. Jean: My Husband Will Not Shower”

Married People Who Use Their Spouse’s Disease or Disability to Excuse Their Adultery – an article by M. Del Russo

Married People Who Use Their Spouse’s Disease or Disability to Excuse Their Adultery – an article by M. Del Russo

I have never had sex outside of marriage, one reason of several is that the Bible says that sex is intended for a man married to a woman – anything outside of marriage is fornication and is considered sin. I am now past the age of 45.

If I can maintain celibacy this long, so too can anyone else, including these people who are in marriages where their spouse is debilitated in some manner, through a physical or mental health issue.

It’s a matter of personal conviction and self control. I do not have some sort of special gifting from God that removes libido. I am not asexual.

So, do I excuse or look on with compassion at these women or men in this article who started affairs with other adults when their own spouses became ill? No, I do not. Going without sex or romance will not kill a person, and you made a vow to your partner.

As for the woman quoted below who says those in her position don’t want to burden their sick spouse with demands for sex – that is all polite and well and good, but has she never heard of masturbation? Why are so many married people under the assumption that the only form of sexual activity is “penis in the vagina”?

(Link): These women care for their ailing husbands. They say dating other men is how they take care of themselves.

Excerpts:

…But the trio’s situation scratches at a question: How do couples sustain relationships and navigate intimacy when disease or disability strikes?

Christina — who asked to be identified by her first name because of privacy concerns — says her marriage was very happy and she loves her spouse deeply, but now that his disease has progressed, she no longer recognizes the person he’s become.

Continue reading “Married People Who Use Their Spouse’s Disease or Disability to Excuse Their Adultery – an article by M. Del Russo”

‘My marriage is damaged as I can’t maintain an erection – even for a minute’

‘My marriage is damaged as I can’t maintain an erection – even for a minute’

What about that Christian promise that marital sex is always hot and satisfying? I guess that is just a bunch of bunk.

So, this married couple has never heard of oral sex?

(Link): ‘My marriage is damaged as I can’t maintain an erection – even for a minute’

DEAR DEIDRE: MY marriage is damaged as I can’t maintain an erection – even for a minute.

It has nearly always been a problem for me, although we have managed to have two little girls.

My wife is 34 and I’m 36. Just recently it has become a whole lot worse.

Continue reading “‘My marriage is damaged as I can’t maintain an erection – even for a minute’”

Widow Whose Husband Died Sues Over ‘Loss of Sex’

Widow Whose Husband Died Sues Over ‘Loss of Sex’

So, being married does not, contra conservative and Christian propaganda I heard often while growing up, guarantee an end to loneliness (if your spouse dies), and it does not guarantee hot, steady sex.

(Link): Woman whose husband died sues for £650k over ‘loss of SEX’

Jamie Finnegan was left brain-damaged and passed away in 2018 after a procedure at Brisbane Hospital went wrong six years ago

By Jenny Awford

THE widow of a husband who died after a botched medical treatment is suing the Australian government for £650,000 over a loss of sex.

Continue reading “Widow Whose Husband Died Sues Over ‘Loss of Sex’”

My Thoughts Regarding the Editorial: Sex & The Single Pastor by Rod Dreher

My Thoughts Regarding the Editorial: Sex & The Single Pastor by Rod Dreher

The following editorial by Rod Dreher is about a liberal Luthern preacher named Nadia Bolz Weber who recently had a bunch of women’s “sexual purity rings” melted down to have an artist form them into the shape of a vagina.

Bolz Weber also released a new book about sex called “Shameless.” It’s an anti-Purity Culture book.

The author of this essay, Dreher, refers readers of his piece to (Link): this page (“The Luthern Pastor Calling For a Sexual Revolution”) at the New Yorker about Bolz Weber.

I was a devout Christian for many years, and that is one reason among a few as to why I remain a virgin past the age of 45.

That’s right, I’ve never had sex – because I was waiting until I got married to have sex, but I never found the right guy to marry.

I have spent a few years blogging here pointing out how nobody but nobody respects adult virginity or celibacy.

Many conservatives and Christians mock and insult adult celibacy and virginity, not just “sex positive” feminists or liberals.

As a matter of fact, a lot of Christians (and secular conservatives) view marriage to be the norm, and as something that can “fix” society, so they shame or insult anyone who remains single past the page of 30, whether that singleness is due to choice or circumstance. (I have examples of this sort of thing in older posts on this blog.)

Continue reading “My Thoughts Regarding the Editorial: Sex & The Single Pastor by Rod Dreher”

‘I Almost Drove My Car Off A Bridge Because Of The Strain of Having a Family’

‘I Almost Drove My Car Off A Bridge Because Of The Strain of Having a Family’

I’m not exactly anti-marriage or anti-family, but.

However. I am tired of how other conservatives or how 99% of Christians “hype” marriage, children, and “the family” to the point they act as though everyone should get married and have a kid, and if you do not, they suggest or state point blank, that you have failed culture and society, and you’re a big Loser. Christians especially behave as though getting married and having a kid is a commandment from God (it is not).

Being married and being a mother did not bring happiness to this lady.

And notice how this lady says that she and her husband didn’t have sex for a year.

I bring that up, because one teaching I heard or saw a lot in Christian sermons or books when I was a kid growing up is that if one remains a virgin until marriage, that God will reward you and your spouse with regular, “mind blowing” sex. The reality is, a person can remain chaste but then end up having lousy sex in marriage, or none at all.

(Link): BABY BLUES – We rowed [argued] and hadn’t had sex for a year due to the strain of starting a family… I almost drove my car off a bridge

January 2019

Aimee and Davin Bradley, both 35, were at each other’s throats for the first three years of their daughter’s life

By Hayley Richardson

HAVING a baby can feel like the icing on the cake for some couples but for others the strain of starting a family can push them to breaking point.

Aimee and Davin Bradley, both 35, were at each other’s throats for the first three years of their daughter Autumn’s life and didn’t have sex for a year.

Continue reading “‘I Almost Drove My Car Off A Bridge Because Of The Strain of Having a Family’”

Woman Arrested AGAIN for Battering Man who Declined to Have Sex with Her…

Woman arrested AGAIN for battering man who declined to have sex with her…

It’s usually men who react violently to sexual rebuffs or dating rejection, but in this case it’s a woman.

(Link): Woman arrested AGAIN for battering man who declined to have sex with her… 

Second time Floridian, 31, busted after sex advances were spurned

November 2018

NOVEMBER 26–A Florida Woman battered her boyfriend after he “said no and went back to bed” after she “grabbed his genitals wanting to have sex” on Thanksgiving night, cops say.

Rebecca Lynn Phelps, 31, was arrested for domestic battery following a confrontation in the Tampa-area home she shares with the victim and the couple’s child.

Continue reading “Woman Arrested AGAIN for Battering Man who Declined to Have Sex with Her…”

‘We’re In Love But We Never Have Sex’

(Link): ‘We’re in love but never have sex’

By Claire Williams

Some 18% of respondents under the age of 30 have had sex fewer than 10 times in the past year, a survey of 2,000 people on websites Mumsnet and Gransnet has found. Among all ages, the figure was 29%. We meet three couples who, while madly in love, fall into this category.

“Our lack of sex life at the moment is down to me,” Amanda, 35, tells the BBC’s Victoria Derbyshire programme.

“I’m so tired all the time because my job is full on and it’s full on at home. It’s like my libido is tired.”

Continue reading “‘We’re In Love But We Never Have Sex’”

Mary the Married Christian Says She’s Been in Sexless Marriage for 17 Years

Mary The Married Christian Says She’s Been in Sexless Marriage for 17 Years

The woman’s letter to Pat Robertson of The 700 Club show is towards the end (video embedded at bottom of this post) – it’s like the 2nd letter below.

Mary says her marriage has been sexless for 17 years now. She says her husband could care less about sex. She wants to know if this is normal or not.

Which is rather funny, since most Christians tell people if they just stay sexually pure until they marry that once they marry, their married sex life will be great, hot, regular, and fireworks will go off.

Continue reading “Mary the Married Christian Says She’s Been in Sexless Marriage for 17 Years”

My Husband Caught Me Masturbating, and It Led to Our Divorce by Jane Doe

My Husband Caught Me Masturbating, and It Led to Our Divorce by Jane Doe

And some Christians, especially in their dating or martial advice books, would have you believe that if you just wait until marriage to have sex, that you’ll always have great, regular sex. Not so…

(Link):  My Husband Caught Me Masturbating, and It Led to Our Divorce by Jane Doe

Excerpts:

as told to CAYLIN HARRIS

Sure, it’s awkward being walked in on. But how my husband responded was what shocked me the most.

… Over time, though, our sex life changed. And by that I mean it became nonexistent. What once was us having sex at least a few times a week turned into one or two times a month, if I was lucky.

He grew more emotionally distant and had trouble getting aroused, and while I knew he was dealing with a lot of financial stress at work (and I was bringing in less money due to my job switch), he never wanted to have a conversation with me, or even see a doctor.

Continue reading “My Husband Caught Me Masturbating, and It Led to Our Divorce by Jane Doe”

Why Doesn’t Your Husband Want to Have Sex? by E. Bernstein

Why Doesn’t Your Husband Want to Have Sex? by E. Bernstein

(Link): Why Doesn’t Your Husband Want to Have Sex?

Excerpts:

May 12, 2018

Despite the conventional wisdom, sometimes it’s the man who loses sexual desire

Contrary to conventional wisdom, sometimes it’s men who first lose sexual desire in a long-term relationship, a new study finds.

Men’s desire for sex can be as tricky as women’s, according to researchers at the University of Kentucky.

Men often lose interest when they feel insecure, when they worry they are losing autonomy in a relationship, or when physical changes cause embarrassment. Pressure to be the initiator compounds the stress.

Continue reading “Why Doesn’t Your Husband Want to Have Sex? by E. Bernstein”

Thoughts on the NRO Essay “Advice For Incels” by Kevin D. Williamson

Thoughts on the NRO Essay “Advice For Incels” by Kevin D. Williamson

About me and this blog:

If you are new to my blog: I have been a conservative my entire life. I’ve never voted Democrat. I was a Republican until a few years ago. I am no longer in any political party.

I sometimes critique secular, left wing feminists on my blog (such as but not limited to (Link): this post and (Link): this one), but there are times when I believe other conservatives get feminists wrong, and feminists are actually correct on some issues.

I was brought up in a traditional values, conservative, Christian family where my parents brought me to Southern Baptist churches as I was growing up, where I was taught to believe in gender complementarianism, which I did for many years, until I finally realized how (Link): wrong and sexist complementarianism is.

Because I grew up as a complementarian, I am quite familiar with what they think and why they think as they do.

My current religious beliefs are somewhat “up in the air,” as I am waffling between being agnostic, (or a deist), and the Christian faith. (Note: I am not an atheist.)

I am by no means anti- Nuclear Family, anti- motherhood, or anti- marriage, though I do posit that many to most conservatives – especially the religious ones – have gone to un-biblical lengths and have turned the Nuclear Family, marriage, natalism, and motherhood and fatherhood into idols which is wrong of them.

— end introduction to me and this blog —

I saw a link to this essay go through my Twitter feed today:

(Link): Advice for Incels by Kevin D. Williamson

On one level, this essay – “Advice for Incels” was okay.

However, I think that while the guy who wrote it has his heart in the right place, I think he gets a lot of things wrong and is naive about how Baptist and conservative Protestant and evangelical churches are for adult singles.

I’ve spent the last several years on this blog covering these topics – I’d encourage Williamson and anyone who read his NRO piece to read the books  (Link): “Singled Out” by Field and Colon and  “Quitting Church” by Christian author Julia Duin for even more information.

Continue reading “Thoughts on the NRO Essay “Advice For Incels” by Kevin D. Williamson”