views and thoughts on topics, especially ones pertaining to christianity – with an emphasis on how most christians either ignore or discriminate against unmarried christians – and how christians have turned marriage and parenting into IDOLS and how there is no true support for sexual purity, virginity, or celibacy among christians – this is a blog for me to vent; I seldom permit dissenting views. I don't debate dissenters ————-
There’s been a lot in the news recently about incels and redistribution of sex. Incel = involuntarily celibate, and redistribution of sex = women being expected to shag these blokes so they don’t get all murdery about not getting laid. Completely understandably, many people took exception to this.
It takes away womens’ bodily autonomy and puts the blame on them when men become violent.
It’s also sparked a debate, with plenty of guys steaming in to say #NotAllMen and get defensive about incels being the only ones who become aggressive when rejected. Elizabeth May retaliated to this by asking the women of Twitter what their experiences had been after rejecting men.
“Carelessness” and “brutality” are two words that certainly typify the sexual “moment” we are in as a culture. How we expect to live in a 50 Shades sexual fantasy world while also managing to avoid it’s unintentional (but by no means unforeseen) ugly consequences totally escapes me.
…I rejoice that with the #MeToo movement we are seeing at least the beginnings of a reckoning—of society’s attempt to say, with a unified voice, “This we will not tolerate.”
But is #MeToo enough? It seems obvious to me that it is not.
As long as the roots of the problem are left unaddressed, the same ugly fruit will continue to spring up from polluted earth—now in one way, now in another. We will keep recycling brutality and abuse.
I agreed with much of this editorial by Emba (posted much farther below) and don’t have a problem with it.
I’m a right winger. Imagine my surprise a while back when I was visiting a right wing political blog on which one of the blog owners criticized this editorial by Emba.
From what I can recall, the conservative author found Emba’s cry for the public to take sex more seriously and not sleep around so much, to be unrealistic or too stuffy, too… whatever.
I was appalled that a conservative author on a conservative site (the same author has claimed in previous blog posts on other topics to be a Christian) would be attacking a well-reasoned editorial pointing out that perhaps the avalanche of sexual harassment stories we’ve all been seeing in the media in the realms of Hollywood, sports, politics and more, can be due to people having an “anything goes” mentality towards sex. I agree with her.
Before seeing this editorial a few weeks ago, I was thinking of writing one similar to it myself (and still may).
I would fully expect the majority of liberals out there – especially the feminists – to mock the notion of being chaste or more deliberate about when, if, where, and with whom to have sex, but a conservative? (Liberal feminists (Link): have already done so before, as a matter of fact.)
Maybe I should not be surprised.
I’ve been posting stories to this blog off and on for around the last seven years, and I’ve seen several instances of conservative Christians who have a “meh, who cares, it’s just fornication, go ahead and do it, sex is no biggie” attitude that one would expect to see from some Non-Christians or from liberal feminists.
But the conservatives and Christians go along with this sort of thinking as well.
Dating And Sex: Men Who Find Talking to Women Difficult May Soon Have a Hormone Treatment
This doesn’t sound like something women would like – the article says this drug or hormone or whatever it is – causes males to be even more persistent towards females, and that it does so in part by lowering their anxiety or inhibitions.
Oh no. The world is already filled with over-confident, dweeby, too-persistent men who don’t take hints from women we are NOT interested in them romantically or sexually and want them to stop hitting on us or trying to flirt with us out in public, at school, or at jobs.
Church Forced Out Woman Who Complained Pastor Regularly Sexually Harassed Her
As I was sharing with someone on Twitter today, it’s Christian men and Christian churches like this one (mentioned in this story linked to below) that caused me to abandon the “Equally Yoked” doctrine years ago.
(Equally Yoked – Christian belief that a Christian single must only marry another self professing Christian.)
I’m completely serious when I told that person on Twitter I’d rather date a non-perverted atheist than a Christian who sexually harasses women.
Furthermore, look at how the church responded to this woman’s harassment claims – not by protecting and siding with the woman, but by protecting the pervert!
If you are a single Christian woman, churches are not safe places to meet potential mates. Churches are not safe places to get boyfriends or husbands.
I was taught by my Christian parents as I was growing up that I should seek out churches to find dates and a husband, but the older I get, I don’t see churches as being any safer or having better quality men than any other venue.
I would assume that this church is a “gender complementarian” church.
Complementarians often like to bray that they believe women are equal in value to men, just not in role.
Complementarians like to insist that though they teach women cannot have the same rights and roles as men, and that they believe men have “boss like” authority over wives, does not mean that they do not respect women. It’s all a bunch of fake hooey and propaganda.
At the end of the day, look at how complementarians TREAT women, not what they SAY about women: complementarians only feign caring and concern about women and woman’s safety. At the end of the day, complementarians will always throw girls and woman under the bus, especially if it’s to save a man’s career or reputation.
If you are a single Christian (especially a woman or girl), never, ever take dating advice from Christians – because most of them will do things like fire YOU if you complain that a male staffer is harassing you, or, they will tell you to stay married to a man, EVEN IF he is abusing you or you discover he’s looking at child pornography (I have actual examples of all these things on my blog).
Dawn Neldon says she was forced to resign after complaining about new pastor’s inappropriate acts
…A former associate pastor at the Rancho Bernardo Community Presbyterian Church is suing the church and it’s new pastor Bryan Stamper for sexual harassment and for terminating her after she complained to church administrators.
75 Year Old Politician (Democrat) Fondles Breasts of 103 M-I-L Who Has Dementia
(MIL = Mother In Law.)
This is so disgusting. I’m also at a fail to see how my fellow conservatives keep promoting these views that marriage makes makes men more godly and mature, or how being in a nuclear family makes society better in some fashion, when I see news stories of married men who are doing things like fondling elderly women who have dementia.
All the dirt bag in this story is concerned about is that this act has him in trouble and may ruin his career. He doesn’t care that he objectified a woman, and his own MIL, plus, she has dementia. This guy is a sicko.
A former Pennsylvania politician has been convicted of indecent assault after admitting that he fondled the breasts of his 103-year-old mother-in-law suffering from dementia — the “biggest mistake” of his life, he said.
Woman Boss at Thinx Company Accused of Sexual Harassment
I often see secular, left wing feminists deny that women can be terrible to women on the job. Of course, men can sometimes be horrible to other employees.
But in my time in the working world, while I was subjected to a few male jerks here and there, I also had to deal with rude, harassing, or awful female co-workers or female bosses. One of the all-time worse workplace bullying I ever encountered was at the hands of a FEMALE boss, not a male.
It’s a fact that there is such a thing as women bosses or women co-workers who harass other women workers, but feminists are loathe to admit this, because they seem to feel it bolsters sexist claims by men against women in the workplace.
The woman boss in this news report sounds absolutely disgusting and like a lunatic. And a control freak.
Also, it is sad to note that this supposedly “feminist” type company was AGEIST! They were ageist against any woman over the age of 29.
All the young ladies in this company, the ones being stalked by this perverted and creepy-sounding boss, should read the book “Boundaries” and related material.
Miki Agrawal, the co-founder of Thinx — a company that makes “period underwear” — doesn’t think much of boundaries. “I just love the taboo space,” she told New York last year, of her mission to (profitably) destigmatize menstruation. And in a promotional video for the product, she said, “My favorite thing to talk about are the things you’re not supposed to talk about.”
According to a complaint filed late last week by a former employee (and echoed in interviews with multiple current and former employees), those things have included: the size and shape of her employees’ breasts, an employee’s nipple piercings, her own sexual exploits, her desire to experiment with polyamory, her interest in entering a sexual relationship with one of her employees, and the exact means by which she was brought to female ejaculation.
Tennessee Republican Kicked Out of State House for Sexually Harassing 22 Women
Before I continue with this post – (I may delete this intro comment later) – I have at least two or three more blog posts I want to comment on, but they’re the sort where I have to sit and pick apart another person’s argument line by line.
Such posts take anywhere from an hour or more for me to compose and are a pain in the butt to write, so I don’t know when/if I’ll get around to writing those.
Tennessee Republican Kicked Out of State House for Sexually Harassing 22 Women
Sometimes left wing, Democrat men sexually harass or rape women – various Kennedy family members immediately spring to mind, as well as Bill Clinton.
So I find it at times amusing or frustrating when left wing sites, such as “Raw Story” report about right wing men who get caught in sexual abuse scandals, as if to suggest only right wing men are rapists or sexists, when both sides of the political aisle contain such people.
A Tennessee lawmaker was expelled from the state’s House of Representatives on Tuesday following accusations of widespread sexual harassment, media reported.
Republican state Representative Jeremy Durham was ousted by a vote of 70-2, according to the Tennessean newspaper, which said this was the state’s first legislative expulsion since 1980
…A report released by Tennessee’s attorney general in July accused Durham of inappropriate sexual conduct with 22 women over a four-year period. The report said Durham repeatedly made unwelcome sexual advances toward female legislative staff, interns and lobbyists.
WashPost Columnist: ‘Ghostbusters’ Haters Are ‘Virgin Losers’ – (via NewsBusters Site); Both the Right and Left Wing Get Some things Wrong About This
This story comes from NewsBusters, which is discussing a column written for Washington Post newspaper by columnist Kristen Page-Kirby about the new Ghostbusters movie.
The original Ghostbusters movie, released in the 1980s, contained four male leads. The reboot version of the movie, which was released July 15, 2016, contains four women leads instead.
Unfortunately, over a year or more ago, when news came out that there would be four women leads in the film, some of the sexist jerkwads who inhabit the internet started lambasting the movie all over You Tube, Twitter, and where ever else – not because the move was bad (it wasn’t even released yet), but because they were incensed that Hollywood was cramming some form of feminism down their throats.
Interestingly, I didn’t see as much backlash over the main character of the new Star Wars film, “Star Wars: The Force Awakens” being a woman – Rey.
At any rate, I will be discussing two or three different topics in this post that are related to this new film, or mentioned by the conservative essayist at the NewsBusters site.
This is another story where I am in the middle. I can’t say as though I’m completely on one side or another in regards to some aspects of this story, depending on what is under discussion.
I am currently a moderate right-winger (I used to be more to the right than I am currently. In the last few years, I’ve been reconsidering if some of my former political and Christian beliefs are wrong.)
I’ve been more open the last few years to hearing the criticisms and views of liberals and Non-Christians – which is not to say I agree with everything I see left wingers and Non-Christians espousing or arguing in favor of.
I sometimes think secular, liberal feminists have good points on some topics, but I normally disagree with them.
As far as the Ghostbusters film reboot is concerned, I do think some of the backlash against the movie does in fact stem from sexism. But then, I do think some people may honestly feel that the movie is genuinely bad due to having a poor story line, or what have you.
I have not seen the movie yet. I don’t go to movie theaters that much anymore.
I usually wait until movies air on cable television; I’m willing to bet that this Ghostbusters reboot will probably be shown on F/X channel, or SyFy, or some other cable network in the next two years, and I have cable television, so I don’t know if I want to invest my time and cash into driving down to a theater to see this, since it will eventually be on television.
I saw the original Ghostbusters in a movie theater when it was in theaters in the 1980s. I was a kid at the time.
The original was okay, it was quite enjoyable and plenty of fun, but it was no movie masterpiece, so to all the men online who were griping about the reboot featuring all women leads: get the hell over it already.
And yes, you were, or are, being sexist douche bags about it. I don’t buy for a moment that ALL male griping about the film is based on non-sexist reasons, like shoddy trailers, or supposed poor CG work.
The vast majority of the professional reviews (and I have read a ton of them) for the new Ghostbusters film have deemed it “okay.” -Not terrible. Not great. But just “meh.” It’s so-so, most reviews have said.
What I don’t appreciate is that the columnist for WaPo who was discussing male backlash about the movie is using virginity as an insult.
Sexual Assaults or Harassment Carried Out by CIS Men Taking Advantage of Trans-friendly Bathroom Policies – Collection of News Stories
I actually have a long list of such examples in a (Link): previous post of mine on the blog, but because some pro-Trans activists on Twitter are so lazy or stupid (they are incapable of finding those links in that post), here is a stand-alone on the topic.
I will continue to amend this post to add new links as I come across them. Should this post become way too long, I may make a part 2.
As an aside, out of my last 2 and a half or so years on Twitter under the “Solo Loner” account, the rudest, most intolerant, hateful, and vitriolic groups I have encountered on Twitter have been militant atheists(*) and pro-Transgender activists.
(*Please note I said “militant” atheists – I’ve run across a few non-militant atheists who were polite and agreeable.)
It doesn’t matter how non-inflammatory or polite my Tweet is in regards to atheism or transgenderism (even if all I am doing is re-tweeting a link without comments of my own), both those groups over-react and will send nasty, hate-filled rants. They are doing more damage to their respective causes than good.
Anyway, here is the collection of links to news stories about pro-Trans laws and regulations making it easier for CIS men to rape or otherwise sexually harass women and girls:
Examples of CIS Men Taking Advantage of Pro Trans Policies to Sexually Harass or Assault CIS Women and Girls
Woman Burned To Death For Refusing Marriage Proposal
And there are some whiny, cry-baby men who think THEY have single life harder – news flash, (Link): you don’t have it worse, men: men usually are not murdered by jealous women over turning down dates or proposals.
While I’d say that the root of this case involves a lot of misogyny and patriarchy, I think perhaps a small factor is an over-emphasis upon marriage.
Perhaps if cultures like this one were taught that being single and/or celibate are perfectly fine lifestyles to live, we wouldn’t see people feel so pressured to marry, and they would realize they can control their sexual urges. Therefore, women would not be killed for turning down dates, requests for sex, or marriage proposals.
You don’t have to be married, or have sex, to enjoy life or be happy and content. (I am not knocking a desire to be married, you realize, only saying if it does not happen for you, you will survive – and realize you can enjoy life without marriage or sex.)
Dollars to doughnuts that everyone in this news story was Muslim.
If so, I’d like to say again I see striking parallels between Islamic attitudes and behaviors towards women as I do from some gender complementarian or Quiverfull Christian groups, as well as sexist men and MRA (Men’s Rights Activists) groups – they all treat women like second-class citizens to be controlled by men and are considered to have value only in- so- far as they breed like rabbits and/or provide men with sex.
Salvation Army Bans Duggar / Quivering Cult’s ‘Retreat’ (Called ‘Get Them Married’) that Promoted Arranged Marriages for Teen Girls – Quivering Advocates Are Anti-Adult Singleness and Anti-Celibacy
Before I present you with the links to the news reports about this story (which are much farther down the page), I wanted to make some introductory comments in general, and a few specific comments refuting a few points from a pro-Quivering page about celibacy.
In regards to the specific news story I am blogging about today, this Quivering group is completely overlooking Apostle Paul’s comments in (Link): 1 Corinthians 7 that it is better for people to remain single than it is to marry – and Paul does not say that this teaching is in regards only to “a few,” or only a “minority” of people.
The Bible nowhere states that marriage is “a norm,” or that God expects or wants all, or most, people to marry.
It just so happens that in other cultures thousands of years ago, most people did happen to marry – one should not deduce from this cultural situation that God supported it or wanted it to be so. It just was what it was.
If the Bible said that all or most ancient Jews painted their bodies green once a year and balanced weasels on their heads while jumping up and down on a watermelon one week out of a year, one should not assume from this that
1. God created that cultural practice and/or that
2. God wanted Americans in the year 2016 to practice these things as well.
The Quivering group’s position on marriage, celibacy, and singleness is unbiblical, not to mention disturbing.
According to this article (linked to much farther below), the Quivering group was going to call this event, (where they set up marriages for little girls to marry), “Get Them Married.”
Why not have an event called, per 1 Corinthians 7, “It Is Better To Stay Unmarried”?
Am I opposed to marriage? No.
Is the God of the Bible against marriage? No.
But the Bible does not say that being married is better or more holy for girls, women, or culture, than being single, but a lot of Christian groups, and these wacky Christian cults, insist otherwise.
Christians need to do a better job of recognizing adult singleness and celibacy as legitimate, godly, biblical lifestyles and choices for all persons (and not only meant for a small minority of people who were supposedly “gifted” with it), instead of promoting marriage and natalism as the only legitimate avenues or as ways of fixing culture, the nation, or as pleasing God.
But the Obama administration and transgender activists have shown no interest in sensible compromises that give any weight to the privacy or safety interests of others.
Never mind that the transgender policy on restrooms and showers makes it much easier for any man or boy with nefarious or mischievous purposes to gain access to the girls’ facilities. // end quotes
I have a friend on Twitter who I sometimes have private conversations with via Direct Messaging on Twitter.
One very disturbing and annoying tendency among liberals has grabbed her attention and mine, that we’ve discussed privately:
Many Liberals not only build a hierarchy of which groups of people they believe are more worthy of protection, consideration, and respect than other groups (which I find odd and troubling), but they further go on to almost always place hetero, cisgender (and ones who happen to be caucasian) women at the very bottom of this hierarchy.
Women in general seem to go at the bottom of this liberal pyramid, regardless of ethnic group, skin color, or nationality – I guess it can depend on the specific context under consideration.
Conservatives, Christians, Transgenders, and Bathrooms – Addressing Libby Anne’s “Love, Joy, Feminism” Post About Transgenders
I really don’t feel like devoting too much time on my blog to the topic of Transgenderism.
To date, I’ve done only 2 or 3 posts on the subject, one defending transgender people from criticisms by some Southern Baptist guy, and another that is critical of the transgender phenomenon.
Much farther down this post, I address a recent post by Libby Anne (of the “Love, Joy, Feminism” blog on Patheos) that pertains to Christians, child sexual abuse, and Transgender persons and the bathroom debate.
I would say I am mostly on the conservative side of the Transgender issue but appreciate that some conservatives can be too harsh towards Transgender people and may find myself agreeing with liberals on some of their comments on this sort of topic.
In other words, this is another subject where I neither totally agree with either conservatives or liberals, and I think both sides make good points in favor of their positions, and both sides sometimes make bad, unfair, rude, or stupid points.
I see a lot of misunderstanding by liberals of the conservative position on Transgender people using public restrooms.
I can’t speak to every single conservative or Christian who is opposed to Trans people using bathrooms, but there is definitely one component of conservatives and Christians who aren’t opposed to Trans people using opposite gender bathrooms per se.
In my case (as a conservative), I don’t know if I care if a biological male who wears a skirt uses a woman’s bathroom or not – it might make me uncomfortable, but that is not my big problem with this issue.
My problem resides in the fact that – damn, I don’t know all the liberal alphabet soup labels they slap on everything, is it Hetero CIS men? – my problem is that Hetero CIS men who are rapists will PRETEND to be Trans women so that they can have access to more female victims.
Married Preacher Raped Two Girls in His Church and Also Had Child Sexual Abuse (Porn) Collection- Some of it obtained by placing hidden cameras in church bathroom
I think I’ve long since given up on my parent’s idea that the way to meet a decent, kind, stand-up man to marry is at a church. (It’s a bit of a problem anyhow, since a lot of single men between the ages of 25 and 75 don’t attend churches much.)
I do not blog about every single story that I see come through my Twitter feed about Christian men (some who work as preachers) who are arrested for fondling teens, raping children, soliciting sex from minors, or having child sex abuse (aka child porn) collections.
If all I did was blog about those kind of stories, I would be on this blog 24 hours a day, seven days a week. It would be difficult for me to keep up with them all. (This blog post you see here, of this preacher who raped girls at his church, is the 3rd or 4th such story I’ve seen like this come through Twitter this week alone. And I saw a few similar stories last week and the week before.)
Not only is a guy saying he’s a Christian not a guarantee he is quality material, but this deviant guy is MARRIED.
A lot of Christians promote this untrue idea that being married is necessary to make a person fully mature, godly, and responsible. Obviously, being married does not make everyone mature and godly, because I have numerous stories like this one of married men who are guilty of raping children.
And obviously, a person does not have to reach some level of godliness or perfection – as some Christians teach – before they can land or earn a spouse on their own merit or from God. This guy is as imperfect and twisted as they come, yet he was married! God did not keep this man from getting a spouse and marrying.
So please, Christians out there, please stop advising adult singles – as some of you do – that if they are still single, it’s because God is “working on them,” God is trying to “clean them up to make them marriage material,” or they have to work on themselves to remove flaws or sins from their own life.
I am hard pressed to think of anyone more flawed and sick than a child rapist or an animal abuser, but it’s a fact that some stories you see in the news of child rapists and animal abusers are also married. It’s not a bunch of never-married adults out there raping children or harming animals.
Pro-Rape Pastor Defends Church’s Hiring of Child Rapist – Adult Singles: Dump the Equally Yoked Teaching
I spotted this link (shared farther down page) when it was shared on WatchKeep’s Twitter today. My blog is not about child sexual abuse per se. I tend to focus, most often, on issues surrounding adult singleness.
If you are an adult Christian single who wants to be married, please reconsider following the “Be equally yoked” teaching. Whether or not the guy in this news story I have in this blog post is a “true” Christian or not is beside the point.
You can date a Christian man who you believe to be a “true” Christian – maybe you met him at church (which is pretty rare because single males do not attend churches), or maybe you met him on a Christian dating site (which some Christian men have used to select rape victims), and he shows all the outward signs of “loving the Lord” and so on and so forth – but then it is revealed he is a child rapist.
Would you really want to discover the guy you married is a child rapist, or views child porn?
I also question the pastor of this church who is defending the child rapist: could you imagine marrying a preacher, who you would assume is a godly man, only to find out he blames child rape victims for having been raped?
Also be aware that pedophiles actively seek wife material at churches. That’s right, single Christian lady: some guy who is a pedophile may start flirting with you at church or in Sunday School, hoping you will date and marry him. I did (Link): a post about thisseveral days ago.
Men Aren’t Entitled to Sex: Crybaby Guy Throws Racist Fit at Woman Who Politely Refuses to Hook up by R K Bussel
It sure does seem that a lot of guys think they are owed sex.
A lot of Christian men not only feel that they are entitled sex (once married), but both before and after marriage, they feel entitled to everything from women: they expect to have their egos stroked all the time, for instance.
Do you Christian men who arrogantly expect women to uplift you and tell you how great you are, ever consider encouraging women in your lives, whether they are single or married?
Women sometimes need or want some external validation, yet whiny men (including Christian ones) seldom consider giving any to women. They rudely assume God put women here only to meet men’s needs. Nope: it goes both ways.
Women have needs too. Women have days or phases in their lives when they get tired, discouraged, worn down and could use a kind word or a helping hand.
Even if he buys her dinner, even if she asks him out, even if she flirts—there’s no excuse for this behavior
…That he turned on a dime to insult her should tell us that he only saw her as an object he wanted available for his pleasure, whether to stroke his ego or stroke other body parts. The moment she rejects him, even though she doesn’t say a single negative thing toward him, he interprets that as pretty much the worst thing a woman could do to him. Her not wanting sex automatically means, in his mind, she’s basically an evil bitch who’s wasted his time.
Another obvious statement: her not wanting to have sex with him doesn’t automatically mean she didn’t like him, or didn’t have a good date. Maybe she did, maybe she didn’t, but by treating sex as the one and only arbiter of success, he turned what could have been a fun night into a nightmare.
An evangelical pastor spanked women’s bare bottoms to administer “spiritual discipline”, a court has been told.
The beatings were to satisfy Rev Howard Curtis’ “desire for power and sexual satisfaction”, according to the prosecution. The 73-year-old former minister of Coulsdon Christian Fellowship ran the church in Wallington, south London, as a “cult”, Croydon Crown Court heard.
Prosecutor Toby Fitzgerald said he had ordered one woman to strip naked before slapping her naked bottom until she collapsed.
Mark Wayne Howington, 52, was arrested Thursday and charged with assault after a woman said she entered the restroom in the Ohio Target store and had it pulled open by Howington. As he passed her, he allegedly “slapped her butt cheek really hard,” according to a police report obtained by The Blade.
The woman, Debra Piechowski, told ABC13 she was at a Target store with her niece in Toledo looking for a birthday and Valentine’s Day gift for her husband.
Howington co-hosts a morning show on (Link):Proclaim FM, a Christian radio station.
She went to security but the man who slapped her left really quickly.
Before I tie this in with pastor Doug Wilson (much farther below), I wanted to reiterate a few points I normally make about such stories when I post them.
I don’t know if this Howington guy is married or not, or a father. If he is either one or both, I can tell you this is another example of how being married or a parent are not indicators of maturity or godliness, as many Christians say they are. Nor is being married a guarantee a man is not going to pull sexual shenanigans on people who aren’t his wife.
Married people also sexually sin at times. Sexual sin is not the lone province of single adults.
Not only am I, a never married adult not having sex (I have chosen to stay celibate so far into my life), but I don’t go around doing things like slapping other people on their butts.