Ex-Evangelicals Admit Their Religion Killed Their Love Lives: I’m ‘Literally Thinking About Hell’ During Sex

Ex-Evangelicals Admit Their Religion Killed Their Love Lives: I’m ‘Literally Thinking About Hell’ During Sex

(Link): Ex-Evangelicals Admit Their Religion Killed Their Love Lives: I’m ‘Literally Thinking About Hell’ During Sex – Raw Story Site

(Link):  ANONYMOUS EX-CHRISTIANS OPEN UP ABOUT THEIR DAMAGED SEX LIVES

Excerpts from Raw Story site:

In a confessional piece on The Feed, ex-evangelicals lamented the oppressive influence their faith had on their sex lives and personal relationships with their partners, saying they were haunted by feelings of guilt and shame.

As pointed out by Hemant Mehta at the Friendly Atheist, former fundamentalist Christian Ruby Bisson (Claire) who writes about Christianity at The Gravity of Guilt, has been compiling stories told her by her readers who detailed not only how their deeply-held religious beliefs crippled their sex lives, but the lingering effects after they lost their religion.

According to one anonymous woman, “I can’t orgasm because I can’t relax. I’m literally thinking about hell. It’s been three years since I left Christianity but I can’t shake the thought that a guy who isn’t a Christian just wants me for my bod and I project that insecurity onto him. This is ultimately what ended my only two relationships.”

She then admitted how she tried to make it work.

“I made him pretend he was religious and didn’t want to have sex,” she explained. “I had to convince him it was a good idea. I made him pray at the end of the bed. Through that role play I was able to be the other person and that power allowed me not to freak out.”

Another former Christain said that she spiraled into a world of pornography at the age of 12, that left her secretly living in “shame and self-hatred.”

Continue reading “Ex-Evangelicals Admit Their Religion Killed Their Love Lives: I’m ‘Literally Thinking About Hell’ During Sex”

Supreme Court Nominee Kavanaugh and Virginity

Supreme Court Nominee Kavanaugh and Virginity

So, Brett Kavanaugh is Trump’s nominee for Supreme Court Justice.

Apparently Democrats leaked the personal information of Dr. Christine Ford, who claims that when younger, Kavanaugh pushed her on to a bed, put his hand over her mouth, and was attempting to undress her.

It was either Ford or another woman who knew Kavanaugh when he was a teen or young 20-something who claims Kavanaugh exposed his genitals to her.

Kavanaugh was called before a Senate committee last week (great parody (Link): here)

Anyway – I was raised in the Christian faith, and partly due to that and Christian sexual ethics teachings – which stress that sex outside of marriage is sin – I’ve yet to have sex, I am still a virgin, as I’ve never married. I’m in my 40s.

One thing I’ve noticed is that not only does a large swath of secular culture mock sexually abstinent people, but so too does Christian culture and conservatives.

Your average liberal or feminist wants culture to respect any and all sexual actions and choices, yet, they will mock adults who are celibate or are virgins (I have examples of this on previous post on this blog).

Christians and conservatives frequently mock or warn about sexual promiscuity, they like to shame women who have children outside of wedlock., and yet, Christians and conservatives also are un-supportive or adults past the age of 29 who are sexually abstaining.

Yes, Christians and some conservatives will SAY that they respect adult virginity, but in truth, they do not. Some of them openly mock or ridicule anyone who is chaste and/or single past the age of 25, while some of their other attitudes of sex – such as a very “easy forgivism” attitude in regards to fornication or an assumption that every unmarried adult page age 18 is sexually active – belie and contradict their so-called respect for chastity.

So, one topic of several I’ve blogged about here regularly for the last few years have been virginity and celibacy.

I’d say many people in American culture would define or understand virginity, in the context of hetero relationships, to say that one “loses one’s virginity” if one engages in penis- in- the- vagina (or anus) physical contact.

(That’s pretty much my understanding of the word and concept, as well.)

Brett Kavanaugh was defending himself by saying that he was a virgin through high school and during part (or all?) or his college years.

Being a virgin does not prohibit or preclude a man from doing the things Kavanaugh was accused of, such as allegedly exposing his penis to one young lady, and pushing another woman down on a bed and attempting to remove her clothing without her consent.

A virgin can, in fact, expose him or herself and still technically remain a virgin.

A virgin can pin a woman down to a bed, cover her mouth, and paw at her clothing and still remain a virgin, if one understands “virgin” to mean “no penis in a vagina and/or anus” definition.

I notice that nobody in our culture values or respects virginity unless it can “come in handy” like in this very specific case where Kavanaugh is trying to depict himself as an innocent choir boy who was incapable of groping women or exposing himself, all because he never went “all the way.”

Some of the attitudes that secular society has against virginity, which the author, Creech, outlines below in his piece I have copied, are also the same in much of the Christian community, and among secular conservatives.

As I have noted elsewhere on my blog, in blog posts now a few years old, there are well-known Christians, some are pastors, some are book authors and bloggers, who also doubt that anyone can remain a virgin past the age of 18 or 29.

Many Christians and conservatives believe, to use one phrase I’ve seen them use in discussing this subject, that it takes a “Herculean effort” to remain a virgin past one’s twenties.

Yet other Christians assume, quite wrongly, that if someone is a virgin past the age of 18 (or 29), it must be because that person lacks a libido, and/or that God “gifted them with celibacy,” and that God also supernaturally empowers that person to resist having sexual relations – all of which is false.

God does not “gift” anyone with celibacy, or with a supernatural ability to resist sex. The reasons why a person is able to maintain celibacy comes down to self-control, choice, and personal conviction, and it’s something that everyone can accomplish, but most do not want to, because they are too selfish or lazy.

It’s easier for the Christian fornicators out there to assume that anyone who didn’t fornicate like they did must be especially exceptional in some regard, as in, God waved a magic wand and gave that person some super ability to resist sexual temptation, or God removed all sexual desire from the person.

(Link):  Kavanaugh’s ‘Virgin Defense’

By Christian Post Columnist, Rev. Mark H. Creech

 1 Oct 2018

In reference to the allegations of sexual assault against him, Judge Brett Kavanaugh said in an interview with Fox News’ Martha McCallum, “I did not have sexual intercourse or anything close to sexual intercourse in high school or many years thereafter.”

“So you are saying that through all these years in question that you were a virgin?” asked McCallum. “That’s correct,” said Kavanaugh.

Kavanaugh also referenced the same during his latest testimony before the Senate Judiciary Committee on Thursday, saying his abstinence from sex during those years was a matter of “faith, respect, and caution.”

Some now are calling this “The Virgin Defense” and find Kavanaugh’s claim highly suspect and worthy of ridicule.

Continue reading “Supreme Court Nominee Kavanaugh and Virginity”

Saving Our Sexuality: Is #MeToo Enough? by A. Arndt

Saving Our Sexuality: Is #MeToo Enough? by A. Arndt

(Link): Saving Our Sexuality: Is #MeToo Enough? by A. Arndt

Excerpts:

…Is #MeToo Enough?

“Carelessness” and “brutality” are two words that certainly typify the sexual “moment” we are in as a culture. How we expect to live in a 50 Shades sexual fantasy world while also managing to avoid it’s unintentional (but by no means unforeseen) ugly consequences totally escapes me.

…I rejoice that with the #MeToo movement we are seeing at least the beginnings of a reckoning—of society’s attempt to say, with a unified voice, “This we will not tolerate.”

But is #MeToo enough? It seems obvious to me that it is not.

As long as the roots of the problem are left unaddressed, the same ugly fruit will continue to spring up from polluted earth—now in one way, now in another. We will keep recycling brutality and abuse.

Continue reading “Saving Our Sexuality: Is #MeToo Enough? by A. Arndt”

Sex Robots Recognize Owners Using Cameras In Their Eyes

Sex Robots Recognize Owners Using Cameras In Their Eyes

I think this is about the same guy I blogged on earlier, only that article about sex robots was from the Daily Mail, and this is from another site.

A line I will never utter in any life time, not even in any parallel universe:
“Shoot your load for me baby, you are awesome.”

The guy in the article says he doesn’t know if he could decide between his real, honest to goodness human wife or his fake plastic sex doll.

That he cannot decide tells me that he, along with many other men, are conditioned to view honest to God women as less than human, and only find their sexuality a redeeming virtue.

If you’re a guy who can’t decide between a Sex Bot and a real woman, you really need to question how biased you are against women, that you view them as only big sex toys, which is an odious view.

I sometimes see people argue that anyone over the age of 25 or 30 who hasn’t had sex yet is somehow “repressed” (I disagree), but, I really would wonder about a person who chooses to have sex with dolls or robots, or exclusively with dolls and robots.

It’s one thing to decide to refrain from sexual intercourse with someone (due to various reasons, one of which being religious morality or personal conviction), or to lack a libido or attraction to people (i.e., asexuals), but quite another to opt to perform sexual acts on a robot – a piece of machinery.

How repressed is someone that they won’t even try to have sex with an equal partner, an actual human, but prefer to “get it on” with a piece of machinery that is largely programmed to be entirely submissive, docile, and so on?

(Link): Sex robots to RECOGNISE owners with cameras in their eyes

Armchair dwellers sat back as we met James, watching him play with sex robot Harmony while she “dozed”.

Provoking a response from her, and with a prominent Scottish accent, she told him: “I love these compliments, you’re really a special person to me.

“I just want to be next to you the whole day.”

She then rather bluntly added: “Do you like to masturbate?

“Shoot your load for me baby, you are awesome.”

Lovely stuff.

Now, after five years in development, sex robot Harmony is being tested for the first time by a potential customer.

Continue reading “Sex Robots Recognize Owners Using Cameras In Their Eyes”

Did Hell Freeze Over?: Liberal Rag Promotes Idea that Celibacy is Acceptable, and a Valid Life Choice / Re: 2016 Study Says Millennials Aren’t Having Much Sex

Did Hell Freeze Over?: Liberal Rag Promotes Idea that Celibacy is Acceptable, and a Valid Life Choice / Re: 2016 Study Says Millennials Aren’t Having Much Sex

The following editorial comes from left wing site Salon, known for publishing pieces by left wing feminist Marcotte, who likes to insist everyone respect women’s sexual choices except for virginity and celibacy – she thinks it’s okay to mock those (see this link and this link for more on that).

Most of the time, liberals are loathe to admit that it’s okay for adults (or kids) to be virgins or celibates. They often portray the state of being abstinent as being sexually repressed or weird. They get all judgey-judgemental about it, but at the same time ask us not to “slut shame” the people, especially women, who boink around like dogs in heat.

So, I was quite surprised to see this liberal editorial defending the idea that it’s okay for people to be chaste, and that people need to stop pressuring everyone to have sex. This sort of editorial from a left wing site is very, very rare.

(Link):   Millennial Sex Panic! Why are we so worried they aren’t getting enough action? by R K Bussel

Excerpts:

Everyone calm down and stop judging young adults for “missing out on a good time”

….While the study’s findings are of cultural interest about changing sexual practices, an unfortunate side effect is the concurrent media sex panic. To wit: a Washington Post headline asked if this means “(Link): the end of sex?” while (Link): The Cut touted “Millennials Confirm That Sex Is No Longer Cool.”

Continue reading “Did Hell Freeze Over?: Liberal Rag Promotes Idea that Celibacy is Acceptable, and a Valid Life Choice / Re: 2016 Study Says Millennials Aren’t Having Much Sex”

“‘I Kissed Dating Goodbye’ [Book] Told Me to Stay Pure Until Marriage. I Still Have a Stain on My Heart” – Regarding: Dating Book by Author Josh Harris (with other related links about the IKDG book) and Criticizing “Purity Culture”

“‘I Kissed Dating Goodbye’ [Book] Told Me to Stay Pure Until Marriage. I Still Have a Stain on My Heart” – Regarding: Dating Book by Author Josh Harris (with other related links about the IKDG book) and Criticizing “Purity Culture”

August 24, 2016 update: I added a new link at the bottom of this post: people continue to attack the idea of sexual purity by publicizing backlash against the Harris IKDG book.


I myself have never read the IKDB book, which was written by Harris. I have read about the book on other sites in the past, and it is my understanding the book discussed how to date, and other such topics, and is not strictly about sex or virginity.

The author uses this review of the IKDG book to bash “purity culture,” and in so doing, touches on the topic or staying chaste until marriage.

I am in the middle of this debate. I cannot completely agree with all the critics of “purity culture,” depending on what they are criticizing about it and why.

I believe that the Bible teaches both male and females are to sexually abstain until marriage, so I don’t believe in tossing out this teaching all because some young women feel they have been hurt or oppressed by it.

On the other hand, how some Christians have taught about sexual purity has been lop-sided – males are typically not addressed, only females – and Christians could do a better, or more sensitive job, in how they present the concept of remaining a virgin until marriage.

With that introduction, here is the link, with some excerpts (and note, I am not in complete agreement with all views in this piece; however, I’m not a supporter of a lot of Christian dating advice. Christian dating advice tends to act as an obstacle to singles who want to someday marry):

(Link): “‘I Kissed Dating Goodbye’ told me to stay pure until marriage. I still have a stain on my heart

Excerpts:

July 27, 2016

In 1997, Joshua Harris published “I Kissed Dating Goodbye,” a book that was in part a warning about the harm that relationships before marriage could cause. Harris evoked images of men at the altar bringing all their past partners with them into the marriage to reinforce the point that love and sex before marriage took pieces of your heart and made you less.

At the time, Harris was just 21, but he was already a rising star.

…He [Harris] was what we, as young evangelicals, wanted to be. And so we strove passionately to attain the ideal of premarital purity he laid out for us. Now, almost 20 years later, even Harris appears to be questioning whether his advice did more harm than good.

…But Harris’s book was hugely influential.

…On the surface, I am a purity-culture success story: I am a heterosexual woman, a virgin until marriage, now with two small children and a husband I deeply love. We attend church. We believe in God. And yet, for me, the legacy of purity culture is not one of freedom but one of fear.

Remarried couples should abstain from sex, Philadelphia Catholic church says

Remarried couples should abstain from sex, Philadelphia Catholic church says

Are they serious? Are they on crack cocaine?

(Link): Remarried couples should abstain from sex, Philadelphia Catholic church says

(Link):

  • Archbishop Charles Chaput also stated that gay Catholics should also ‘live chastely’ in new rules issued after Pope Francis urged more acceptance of others
  • Catholics in Philadelphia who are divorced and civilly remarried will be welcome to accept Holy Communion – as long as they abstain from sex and live out their relationships like “brother and sister”.

Continue reading “Remarried couples should abstain from sex, Philadelphia Catholic church says”

The Obscure History of the ‘the Disease of Virgins’ that Could be Cured with Sex

The Obscure History of the ‘the Disease of Virgins’ that Could be Cured with Sex

I first saw this tweeted by left wing site Raw Story. The story discusses how people in the 16th or 17th century believed that virginity was a disease, or that it could lead to certain types of diseases, and the only cure was for the virgin to have sexual intercourse.

A lot of left wingers (but some right wingers) also today, in 2016, regard adult virginity (or maybe even teen age virginity) as being a form of psychological repression, or an oddity, or some kind of disease. So I don’t really think we’ve come too far in that regard.

I do think virginity and celibacy have been respected by some people at some times in some cultures, but I definitely see people today, in 2016, show disrespect towards virginity.

Being a virgin is stigmatized in American culture (and in others), yet we’re all supposed to support or respect all other sexual choices or sexual behavior under the sun-

Everyone from homosexuals to fornicating heterosexuals, to young women who (Link): have sex with their biological fathers, and men who want to have sex with horses (yes, there is (Link): unfortunately such a thing) ask us to respect their sexuality, sexual choices, or sexual actions.

I do find it insulting that most of today’s society will respect any and all forms of sexual behavior except for an adult’s choice to stay a virgin or to be celibate.

It’s insulting that adult virginity or celibacy are regarded as physical and/or psychological sicknesses, as though having sex is the norm, or should be for everyone.

(Link): The obscure history of the ‘the disease of virgins’ that could be cured with sex

Excerpts:

Continue reading “The Obscure History of the ‘the Disease of Virgins’ that Could be Cured with Sex”

Ashley Madison Site Hack Update / Family Values Activist Josh Duggar Had a Paid Ashley Madison Account / Sexual Abstinence Does Not Necessarily or Always Cause Repression or Sexual Sin

Ashley Madison Site Hack Update / Family Values Activist Josh Duggar Had a Paid Ashley Madison Account

Please see the August 20, 2015 updates farther below, including comments about sexual repression and sexual deviancy.

Aug 26, 2015 update below: Porn star claims Duggar paid to have sex with her while his wife was pregnant; says his behavior was creepy and a little violent

———————————

I did blog about the Ashley Madison hack about a month or more ago (link to that farther below).

I am pretty socially conservative, am not opposed to “family values” per se, but I do really think a lot of Christians and other social conservatives have gone too far with the family values shtick. They have turned marriage, parenthood, and children into idols.

It is pretty annoying when any of the spokespersons for “family values” turn out to be big hypocrites in the area of sexual mores or related issues.

I can tell you that believing in family values, being a virgin or being celibate, are not causes of adultery or pedophilia.

I feel the need to mention this, because almost any time a story comes up in the media like what I am discussing in this post, some left wing critics like to opine that celibacy requirements causes priests to molest children, or they consider the emphasis on sexual purity in a person’s life to be a form of sexual repression that causes that person to engage in sexual sin like pedophilia or adultery later in life (case in point here: Josh Duggar).

The problem is I have read of reverse stories.

I have read news articles of people who were exposed to all sorts of pornography when they were young, and / or who were raped or fondled as children, or people who had very lax parents who in turn who had very lax sexual values, and who later went on to become pedophiles, rapists, or adulterers.

That is, I don’t think that someone raised in a culture of Christian sexual purity and family values is necessarily more inclined to commit sexual crimes or sins than someone who was not.

A brief recap of my situation: I am over the age of 40 and have not had sexual intercourse (I am a virgin). I was waiting for marriage to have sex. Though I was engaged earlier, I broke it off with the guy and have not married yet. And I’ve not been having sex.

Though I am celibate, I am not a deviant: I do not fondle kids, have any sexual interest in or desire for children, nor do I ever picture myself joining an adultery site, should I marry.

It’s very offensive for commentators on various blogs and forums around the web to suggest that being celibate or being raised in a culture of sexual purity is always or necessarily a cause in someone engaging in sexual sin or crime later in life.

Lastly, this latest Josh Duggar story again pokes holes in one common conservative Christian belief that marriage is necessary to make people more godly, ethical, loving, responsible, or that marriage makes people immune from, or less likely to, sexually sin.

Wrongo! I have a  (Link): long list on my blog of stories like this, of married people who get caught in sexual sins or crimes.

Having said all that, here are some more updates about the pro-adultery site Ashley Madison being hacked, as well as a story about “Family Values” advocate Josh Duggar being a member of that site, and other, related stories:

(Link):  Is This Josh Duggar’s OkCupid Profile?

Said one commentator on that page:

  • comment by bloodlesscoup 
  • I feel so bad for Anna [Josh Duggar’s wife] (or, as I like to think of her, Vacant Amy Adams), because
  • 1) they’re just going to PRAY ABOUT THIS and find the strength to stay as a family, and
  • 2) I bet he’s shit in bed and she’s linked for life to be an incubator for one of the least-satisfying sexual partners imaginable.
  • Like, girl, GET OUT. You’re too good for this world. The Duggar World.

I too feel sorry for his wife.

(Link):  REVEALED: Josh Duggar revealed as having ‘paid almost $1,000 for multiple Ashley Madison accounts’ as 37million would-be love-cheats are named by hackers who stole Ashley Madison accounts

  • A report claims that Josh Duggar had multiple Ashley Madison accounts
  • Duggar was allegedly looking for ‘conventional sex, experimenting with sex toys, one-night stands, sharing fantasies, sex talk,’ and more
  • Among the type of woman he was allegedly looking for were ‘naughty girl, aggressive / take charge girl, high sex drive and creative and adventurous’
  • The second account was reportedly ‘paid on a monthly basis until May of 2015,’ which is when reports broke Josh had molested his siblings
  • Josh and his wife Anna were married in 2008 after they began courting in 2007, sharing their first kiss on the altar
  • The couple have four children; Mackynzie, Michael, Marcus and Meredith

Continue reading “Ashley Madison Site Hack Update / Family Values Activist Josh Duggar Had a Paid Ashley Madison Account / Sexual Abstinence Does Not Necessarily or Always Cause Repression or Sexual Sin”