I’m a Virgin, So Why Am I Being Slut-Shamed? by Ashley Iaconetti

I’m a Virgin, So Why Am I Being Slut-Shamed? by Ashley Iaconetti

(Link): I’m a Virgin, So Why Am I Being Slut-Shamed? by Ashley Iaconetti

Excerpts:

“Bachelor” contestant Ashley Iaconetti on why a girl can act sexy without, you know, having sex.

Apparently I can’t be a virgin because I have my belly-button pierced. Or because I live in New Jersey. Or because I kissed Chris Soules “like that” during my appearance on The Bachelor. During my time on the show, social media was flooded with absurd judgements and arguments as to why I couldn’t possibly be a virgin.

It’s been odd and frustrating to see people debate the status of my hymen (!) on Twitter — seriously, people, that’s what you’re using your time tweeting about? And many people don’t just doubt my claim, but flat-out declare I’m a liar.

….I believe a girl can be sexy without having sex.

TV Host Slut-Shames Woman Who Says She Had Sex With 20 Ghosts

TV Host Slut-Shames Woman Who Says She Had Sex With 20 Ghosts

This would be their choice of headline, not mine. Out of everything I’ve blogged about here in the past 6 or 7 years, this is probably one of the dumbest and weirdest stories I’ve blogged about yet

(Link): TV Host Slut-Shames Woman Who Says She Had Sex With 20 Ghosts

Excerpts:

by Christian Gollayan

Amethyst Realm, a 27-year-old Brit, is getting slut-shamed for claiming to have had sex with at least 20 ghosts — whom she purportedly prefers to living men.

Realm, from Bristol, England, went on the British TV show “ITV This Morning” on Thursday to discuss her out-of-body-on-body experiences. She says it all began in 2005, when she moved into a haunted home with her then-fiancé.

TV News Report: Most Johns Are MARRIED Men, and Public Shaming Most Effective Deterrent of Sex Crimes

TV News Report: Most Johns Are MARRIED Men, and Public Shaming Most Effective Deterrent of Sex Crimes

According to this Christian-based news report I saw on TV earlier today, men caught in this sex sting operation by the police are usually MARRIED (and white, middle aged, and college educated).

The report also said that PUBLIC SHAMING over buying sex was the biggest deterrent for men who are considering buying sex – the cops in this area were publishing photos and names of men who are caught soliciting sex (via under-cover cops posing as prostitutes).

This is all very interesting, as we have many conservative Christians who deploy propaganda stating either that married people are more mature and godly than singles, or that (in the reverse) single adults are all a bunch of harlots and immature dolts who need to get married to shape up.

Then we have liberals and squishy conservative Christians who feel everyone everywhere should cease and desist with shaming anyone over any sort of sin or crime – your liberal feminists in particular go ape crazy over “slut shaming.”

This sort of thinking has infiltrated the Christian community, where we now see bonkers editorials and opinions from Christians, on forums, blogs, and Facebook groups, railing against the concept of staying a virgin until marriage, or being celibate.

But here we have a report stating that SHAMING people over their SEXUAL CHOICES (in terms of the johns, the customers) works to REDUCE prostitution rates.

(Link):  Stopping the Sex Trade, One Buyer at a Time by H. Sells

Excerpts:

SARASOTA, Fla.  – Across the country more than 1,000 towns and counties are stepping up tactics to deter men who buy sex. They include seizing vehicles, community service, “john” school, license suspension, public shaming and reverse stings.

Research shows that strategies like the reverse stings can reduce prostitution in a city by as much as 75 percent.

Christian Abstinence Speaker Forces Girl Students to Hear Mandatory Sexual Purity Message While Boys Excused

Christian Abstinence Speaker Forces Girl Students to Hear Mandatory Sexual Purity Message While Boys Excused

I am not opposed to Christians teaching their kids about the benefits or moral basis of remaining a virgin until marriage. I do believe the Bible teaches that position, actually.

However, I do take issue with the fact that Christians almost always emphasize staying a virgin for girls but not for boys. That seems to be the case here.

That the boys were excused for a sexual abstinence message is, in my view, incredibly sexist and sends the wrong message – both to boys and girls. This sort of thing also makes Christians look like backwards, sexist rednecks to the Non-Christians who blogged about this to mock it or criticize it – which they have.

I do think there is at least one possible positive: at least the teen girls are hearing that staying a virgin is a viable option.

Where-as many secular feminists and liberals are always mocking virginity and celibacy, so that they make young girls (and even older women) feel as though they MUST have sex or there is something wrong with them if they are not having sex, or if they don’t want to have sex.

Contrary to what ths Henning guy says, it’s not true that men have higher sex drives than women or are more visually stimulated than women, so Henning can drop that from his materials. God did not “wire men to be more sexual” than women. (I’ve done other blog posts on those topics before, so I’m not going to get into that here.)

It’s not a girl or woman’s responsibility to dress in such a way that a boy or man does not feel aroused, as Henning claims. Each boy and man is capable of controlling himself, regardless of how a girl or woman is dressed. Christians: stop making females responsible for the sexual sins and failings of males – even the Bible does not do this.

(Link):  School Makes Girls Attend Christian’s Abstinence Lecture

Oct 20, 2016

by Mike Allen

Payson High School in Arizona recently required girls to attend an assembly about sexual abstinence, while the boys were given the option to attend, or not attend, an assembly on dating.

Woman Has Abortion Because She Couldn’t Fit Into Her Wedding Dress

Woman Has Abortion Because She Couldn’t Fit Into Her Wedding Dress

Depending on the situation, I may at times attempt to understand WHY a woman had an abortion and even attempt to be compassionate about it. But most abortions take place because the baby conceived was done so via consensual sex. In these cases, I am not generally charitable.

As to the article I link you to below: a woman aborted her kid because she was afraid she wouldn’t be able to fit into her wedding dress later. What a selfish bitch (as are several of the other women mentioned in this article – some of them had abortions for trivial and/or purely selfish reasons).

Contrary to secular, left wing feminists, some of the women mentioned in this article, and/or their choice, should absolutely be “slut shamed” – to the hilt.

(The men who got them pregnant should also be slut shamed, because they are sluts too, and irresponsible ones.)

Some of the women in this article are so cavalier about killing an unborn child – or a blob of tissue that would otherwise turn into a baby – and some are ditzes who are too lazy or sloppy about birth control use.

“My boyfriend was intimidated by my sexual history. So I dumped him.” by T. Hornung

“My boyfriend was intimidated by my sexual history. So I dumped him.” by T. Hornung

I’m not going to take the usual, secular, left wing feminist standard here (for one thing, I’m right wing and don’t always agree with secular feminists), where I’m supposed to say a woman’s sexual history is not a boyfriend’s business, or the boyfriend should not be upset by his girlfriend’s sexual past, and say, “Rah rah, women’s sexual freedom.”

I am forever amazed that “sex positive” feminists, whether they are men or women, assume that their previous sexual choices should not, or will not, have any consequences upon them or the people around them.

Some of us are more “serious” about sex than other people – sex actually means something to us, so yes, we find it troubling, and I suppose this is doubly so, if we are virgins over 35 years of age, and have to grapple with the fact that our current partner has had sex with other people in the past.

How OKCupid Users’ Views of Sex Have Changed Since 2005

How OKCupid Users’ Views of Sex Have Changed Since 2005

(Link): How OKCupid Users’ Views of Sex Have Changed Since 2005

• Feb 11, 2016

• A new report from the company finds that American daters are growing more traditional in some ways, and more open-minded in others.

•  … This week, the (Link): company released a survey comparing the responses they received in 2005 to those collected in 2015. Though not as rigorous as a truly random survey, the data hint at changing views of sex, love, and gender norms among online daters in the U.S.

• Surprisingly, OkCupid found that people have become more sexually conservative in certain ways. For example, fewer people now say they would have sex on the first date:

  Would You Consider Sleeping With Someone on the First Date?

  [Pie Chart 2005: Yes: 69% – No: 31% ]

  [Pie Chart 2015: Yes: 50% – No: 50% ]

Gonorrhea Super Strain Becoming ‘Untreatable’

Gonorrhea Super Strain Becoming ‘Untreatable’

Another reason of why it’s good to be celibate (or asexual): you’ll avoid stuff like this.

And, by the way, I guess that medical officers in the UK are “slut shamers,” too.

(Link):    New Strain Of Gonorrhea May Become Untreatable, U.K. Officials Say

(Link):   New strain of ‘super gonorrhea’ puts disease at risk of becoming untreatable, doctor warns

(Link): Super-gonorrhea’ in UK may be untreatable, may show up in the US

• Sixteen cases of antibiotic-resistant gonorrhea, a sexually transmitted disease, have been reported in the UK, leading the country’s chief medical officer to warn of the rise of “super-gonorrhea.”

• The resistant strain hasn’t appeared in the US so far, but there is growing resistance to one of the antibiotics used to treat the sexually transmitted disease (STD). This week’s warning from Dame Sally Davies, the UK’s chief medical officer, followed a health alert concerning 16 cases in the north of England among heterosexuals.

Salon Author Amanda Marcotte Thinks Media Shouldn’t Judge Women’s Sexuality But She Has Mocked Women Over Their Sexual Choices Before (To Remain Virgins)

Salon Author Amanda Marcotte Thinks Media Shouldn’t Judge Women’s Sexuality But She Has Mocked Women Over Their Sexual Choices Before (To Remain Virgins)

My memory is a bit rusty here, but in a previous, older editorial on Salon, either Marcotte ridiculed women who choose to remain virgins until marriage, or, when she was mocking the concept of virgin- until- marriage, it escaped her notice that some women, of their own volition, choose to abstain until marriage.

I blogged about this before here, on my blog:

• (Link):  Marcotte on Anyone Choosing To Be a Virgin Until Marriage: “It’s a Silly Idea” – What Progressive Christians, Conservative Christians, Non Christians, and Salon’s Amanda Marcotte Gets Wrong About Christian Views on Virginity

Either way it went, Marcotte ended up ridiculing the choice of some women to stay virgins until marriage – and some women do in fact choose to remain virgins until marriage, like this lady, who was in the media about a month ago:

• (Link): Bride Presents Father With ‘Certificate of Purity’ on Wedding Day – My Thoughts On the Matter 

This recent editorial at Salon, by Marcotte, is my reason for writing this blog post today:

(Link):  Now we’re leering at suicide bombers: The grotesque objectification of Hasna Ait Boulahcen by Amanda Marcotte

Here are a few excerpts from that page, about a woman terrorist who was blown up in Paris, France (I have some more comments below these excerpts):

by Amanda Marcotte

November 20, 2105

…But Boulahcen [woman terrorist] was female, and so the forces of sexual objectification are kicking in, creating a grotesque display.

…Both articles obsessively comb over every detail of Boulahcen’s pre-conversion life: Her partying, her drinking, the amount of sex they suspect she had, her clothes and even her “heavy makeup”, which both articles take pains to point out. It’s the same kind of thing you see these right wing rags doing day in and out, simultaneously inviting their audiences to leer at and sit in judgment of young women for their clothes, their sexual choices…

Rom Com Movie on Women Allowing Themselves To Be Used By Men – And A Leading Man Disappointment

Rom Com Movie on Women Allowing Themselves To Be Used By Men – And A Leading Man Disappointment

(This post has been edited farther below, over August 8 – 10, with more observations based on some new interviews or links I saw.

This post covers several topics, including but not limited to: how feminist characters are depicted in movies, the impact of sexism on dating, to actors who publicly express their religious and political views in an obnoxious manner.)

———————-

I am normally not a fan of “Rom Com” (romantic comedy) movies.

But I heard some good things about this particular one.

I don’t know if I want to say what it is, if I want to say what its title is.

I’ll call it “Rom Com X.”

(If you have seen this movie you may be able to guess what it is, even from my vague description below.)

One reason I don’t want to just come right out and say the title of this movie is because farther in this post I have some mild criticisms of one of its actors, and I do not want any of his fans coming here and leaving me hostile posts. I am not going to name the name of the actor I discuss below.

Rom Com X has been on cable TV a few times. I’ve seen it about twice so far, maybe three times.

I find the MC (main character) sympathetic. Well, usually. There are a few scenes in the movie where she did or said things I never would have, where she unnecessarily was hostile to a person or two.

But of course, to balance that out, she was going through a very difficult time in her life, so to a degree, you do understand she is lashing out on occasion at others and being cranky because her life is in a tail spin.

This movie was interesting on several levels to me.

I related to some of the plights of the MC (main character) in a very big way.

She and I do differ on a few points, but I have some things in common with her, if not in the details, but in the overall scheme of things.

There is an actor who plays MC’s (Main Character’s) eventual love interest in the movie. I’m going to call this guy “Actor X.” I will refer to his character’s name as “Roger.”

Planned Parenthood Tells Teenagers “It’s Great to be a Slut”

Planned Parenthood Tells Teenagers “It’s Great to be a Slut”

There is about no support in today’s culture – secular or Christian – for adult virginity and adult celibacy. None.

Rather than encouraging people to abstain, rather than applauding or supporting adults who remain virgins or who are celibate, our culture (and yes, this includes, to a degree, Christian culture) tells people that it is strange, repressive, or defective to sexually abstain.

Secular culture -and a lot of liberals- in particular heaps on the idea that there is something empowering or good about having sex outside of marriage and with lots and lots of people.

(Link):  Planned Parenthood Tells Teenagers “It’s Great to be a Slut”

by Steven Ertelt | Washington, DC | LifeNews.com | 11/7/12 5:07 PM

“There’s tons of ways that people define ‘slut.’ Most, though, are f’d up.” That’s the lead in for an MTV video targeting teens and tweens on Planned Parenthood’s Info for Teens Facebook page.

This denigrating instructional video takes place in a classroom setting and encourages young girls to become promiscuous and emphasizes that others should respect them because, as sluts, they are “confident in their sexuality.”Francisco, the young, attractive sex “Savage U” sex instructor, stands in front of a chalkboard showing one large stick figure and many small ones. He says, “Let’s say this guy [the big one] has hooked up with all these [little] people. Whoa! What a stud.”

Cheering is heard in the background. “But let’s say this is a girl,” he says, drawing a skirt on the large stick figure. “Is the situation any different? Yes or no? NO!” he says.

Attempting to convince students that anyone who judges someone because they are sexually promiscuous is bad, this “Sextra Credit” video portrays being a slut as a very desirable thing.

However, since some might take offense at the word, Francisco says, “Be careful when you throw a word like ‘slut’ around. It should only be used for good.”

The video ends with a pop quiz. The upshot of the quiz is that if you don’t believe what Francisco says about his assertion that being a slut is a positive, healthy thing, “Sorry—you fail!”Of course, nothing could be further from the truth.

In an article entitled (Link):  “Misery U: Hook-up culture leaves casualties,” Dr. Miriam Grossman, a campus psychiatrist at UCLA, points out some of the more grisly surprises that await young women who have promiscuous sex.

Addressing healthcare professionals and organizations in general, and in particular “Ask Alice”—a promiscuity promoting website that emanates from Columbia University and is linked from Planned Parenthood websites—Dr. Grossman says:OK, hold on a minute.

As a health expert, Alice, aren’t you forgetting a few things?

Let’s start with this: These young women who have turned to you are adolescents, and that likely means their cervix is immature and more vulnerable to infection.

Surely you’ve studied basic gynecology and know about the transformation zone, where human papillomavirus (HPV) has infected about half of sexually active college women, usually from one of their first encounters. Did you forget that this area shrinks with time, making infection less likely? This fact alone behooves you to urge these women to wait.

You must know, as well, that early sexual debut and multiple partners are risk factors in the development of infertility as well as cervical cancer. When you encourage your readers to “experiment” and “explore,” Alice, they are more likely to have more total lifetime sexual partners than if they delay those relationships.

You know that herpes and HPV are transmitted skin to skin and can be passed even when there are no visible lesions, and that even with latex—recent surveys show a minority of college students used a condom during their previous encounter—the “protection” is incomplete.

Sex in a Time of Ebola (ed from WaPo)

Another reason you can be glad to be celibate if you are celibate.

Some liberal Christian or secular, left wing feminist will mock a person for wanting to stay a virgin until marriage, but at least folks who are not sleeping around don’t have to worry about getting ebola (via sex) and those wonderful ebola side effects like “fever, headache, body aches, cough, stomach pain, vomiting, and diarrhea” (source).

(Link): Sex in a time of Ebola

• By Lenny Bernstein and Joel Achenbach October 8 2014
• However, the Ebola virus can survive in semen for months after a man recovers from the infection, posing an ongoing threat to sexual partners long after he is well. At a time when a man’s bloodstream is swimming with antibodies, and he is immune to the disease, he still may be able to infect others.
• As a result, Ebola survivors in West Africa and elsewhere are being advised to remain celibate or use condoms for three months after their release from treatment centers.
• In Lofa County, Liberia, where the epidemic began six months ago, UNICEF workers doing outreach work were told the story of one local man who recovered and infected his girlfriend through sex, according to a UNICEF official. The woman later died. (We couldn’t independently verify that account).

(Link): Ebola: How to recognize the symptoms

• The Centers for Disease Control and Prevention says these are the symptoms to watch out for:
• Fever (greater than 38.6°C or 101.5°F)
• Severe headache
• Muscle pain
• Weakness
• Diarrhea
• Vomiting
• Abdominal (stomach) pain
• Unexplained hemorrhage (bleeding or bruising)
• The CDC says symptoms could start appearing anywhere from 2 to 21 days after exposure to the virus; the average incubation period is 8 to 10 days.

  In the early stages of illness, symptoms like fever, headache and muscle pain are fairly common and may seem like a case of the flu.

  However, within a few days, someone with Ebola will get much sicker. As the virus begins to take hold of the body, gastrointestinal illness, such as abdominal pain, vomiting and diarrhea will occur. A patient may have trouble breathing and swallowing, experience chest pain, and develop a rash, excessive bruising and bloody blisters of the skin.

  A person in the advanced stages of an acute Ebola infection will begin to have internal bleeding — what’s known as viral hemorrhagic fever. Ebola can cause hemorrhaging of multiple organs, as well as external bleeding from various orifices of the body including the ears and eyes.

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Related posts:

(Link):  Marcotte on Anyone Choosing To Be a Virgin Until Marriage: “It’s a Silly Idea” – What Progressive Christians, Conservative Christians, Non Christians, and Salon’s Amanda Marcotte Gets Wrong About Christian Views on Virginity

(Link): No, Christians and Churches Do Not Idolize Virginity and Sexual Purity (it’s actually quite the opposite: sexual purity is under attack by Christians these days)

(Link): Celibate Shaming from an Anti- Slut Shaming Secular Feminist Site (Hypocrisy) Feminists Do Not Support All Choices

(Link): Christians Who Attack Virginity Celibacy and Sexual Purity – and specifically Southern Baptist Russell D. Moore and James M. Kushiner

(Link): So Long, Compulsory Sex! See Ya, Viagra! Asexuality is Here – by B. DePaulo