The Dad Is The A-Hole: Dad Rages as Wife Refuses to Pay for His Kids from Another Marriage

The Dad Is The A-Hole: Dad Rages as Wife Refuses to Pay for His Kids from Another Marriage

As someone who has no desire to marry a dude previously married and especially a previously married guy with kids from said previous marriage, I am on “Team Stacey” on this one.

I was always sexually responsible… I did not diddle around outside of marriage, because I didn’t want to get pregnant (birth control is not 100% effective, and I don’t believe in abortion).

If you’re divorced and you re-marry, it is not your new spouse’s job, obligation, or duty to emotionally or financially support your crotch fruit from your previous relationship. No psychologist, therapist, of family counselor out there can convince me otherwise.

And single parents can be huge hypocrites on this one – I used to lurk at child free forums filled with never-married, child free adults who said they keep noticing on dating sites and dating apps that the single parents say they expect YOU to be a loving, nurturing, considerate step-parent to their kids from a previous marriage,
but
they also specify in their dating profiles that they do not want YOU to have any kids of your own from one of your prior relationships
– those types of single parents can go f*ck themselves sideways.

The hypocrisy with single parents who demand you be okay with them already having children (and these are often also the same types who annoyingly insist on their profile pages that they and their kids are a “package deal,” and “you MUST ACCEPT THAT FULLY” – insert barf emoji here 🤮) while they are not okay with YOU already having kids (if you do), and they also demand that only child-free adults contact them for dating in their dating profiles – is astounding.

I myself never married, I was sexually abstinent, so I never had children, I did not want that responsibility, so I was sexually responsible. If you think I would be willing to take on parent-like responsibilities (or any at all) to YOUR children from your last relationship, think again.

This guy is entitled.

It’s not his second wife’s responsibility to care for his kids from a former marriage, financial or otherwise – and especially considering he pressured, demanded, forced her, or expected her, to pay for half of all household expenses, which his children from his first marriage benefit from.

But I can imagine a percentage of single parents out there RAGING at that – miffed at the idea that there are childless adults such as myself who don’t feel the least obligated to help them raise their kids from another partner. That’s how life goes.

My dating preferences and values are mine. I am not obligated to change them because someone else is having a total hissy fit due to poor life choices they made, and I refuse to go along with it.

I have no empathy for this guy. Zippo. His second wife owes his kids from Marriage One nothing, not in the form of financial support, not like how he is demanding.

Beyond the bare, bare minimum, the spouse owes nothing here – if one of the kids from the former marriage is getting eaten by an alligator, yes the non-biological parent should dial animal control, the police, or whomever one calls for help in such a situation to get the kid to safety – but beyond basics like that, NO.

This example below is why, if you are a never married, childless adult you never, ever date or marry someone with children from a previous relationship, unless perhaps those kids are out of the house and self-sufficient, unless you really, really relish the idea of raising someone else’s brats.

So this entitled guy has three children from his first marriage to “Hannah” and two children via his second wife, (who he calls “Stacey“) for a total of five children for him.

And notice that being a five time parent has not made this guy more loving, ethical, responsible, mature, or godly.

About the ONLY part of his letter that makes me think that Stacey, the second wife, is being unfair, weird, or unreasonable, is where he says she demands that he pay her the same amount in child care for THEIR children together that she sends the ex-wife (“Hannah”) in child support. I just find that very odd.

If the dude is already paying half of house-hold expenses (she’s paying the other half), I don’t see the need for that.

A dude should not be paying a current-wife “child support” for kids they have – if he’s already paying or partially paying for food, lodging, etc. I’ve never before heard of a current spouse paying child support to another current spouse.

That is just bizarre and too controlling or petty on the part of “Stacey.” But to the rest of it, no, I’m not on the husband’s side here.

(Link): Dad rages as wife refuses to pay for his kids from another marriage

by Christine Younan

The anonymous man has been left raging as he claims his wife refuses to pay “her fair share” when it comes to his children from another marriage. He opened up on Reddit

Oct 23 2022

….Now one man is raging as his wife won’t pay “her fair share” when it comes to his kids from another marriage.

The woman does however pay her half of the joint household expenses, which involve things for the children.

Taking the Reddit, the dad-of-five explained his point-of-view as he still supports his three sprogs with his ex-wife.

He said he’s been married to his wife Stacey [the second wife], 30, for about five years now and they share two children together.

The man wrote: “I also share three children with my ex-wife Hannah, 37.

“Ever since Stacey and I got together she has made it very clear to me that my three children are mine and Hannah’s responsibility, not hers. This has worked out well so far, but lately it has been taking a toll on me.

“I pay Hannah child support every month, ever since Stacey had our first child she has demanded that I give her the same amount of money each month to keep things ‘fair’.

“In addition, I have to pay for half of our joint household expenses (ie mortgage, utilities, food) and my own car. Stacey pays for the majority of expenses for our children.”

But the problem for the man is that his wife Stacey has an issue with covering expenses for his kids.

Continue reading “The Dad Is The A-Hole: Dad Rages as Wife Refuses to Pay for His Kids from Another Marriage”

‘Savage Monster’ Accused of Decapitating Pregnant Ex-Girlfriend, Throwing Head in Dumpster, While Family Planned Baby Shower

‘Savage Monster’ Accused of Decapitating Pregnant Ex-Girlfriend, Throwing Head in Dumpster, While Family Planned Baby Shower

(Link): ‘Savage monster’ accused of decapitating pregnant ex-girlfriend, throwing head in dumpster

Excerpts:

By Yaron Steinbuch
June 15, 2022

A pregnant Illinois woman was decapitated at her home, where her head was discovered in a dumpster — and her ex-boyfriend has been charged in the brutal murder, authorities said.

Deundrea Holloway, 22, was charged with two counts of first-degree murder in the death of Liese Dodd, also 22, whose remains were found Thursday in her Alton home, the St. Louis Post-Dispatch reported.

He also was hit with two counts of intentional homicide of an unborn child, dismembering a human body, concealment of a homicide and possessing a stolen vehicle.

The head of the nearly eight-months-pregnant woman was found in the dumpster outside her apartment, according to the newspaper.

… Dodd’s mother, Heidi Noel, discovered the horrific scene on Bolivar Street when she went to check on her Thursday after she had not heard from the woman — who was expecting her first child, a baby girl, on July 27, according to the paper.

The family had reportedly been planning a shower for the baby, whose wish list included a pink princess crib sheet.

Continue reading “‘Savage Monster’ Accused of Decapitating Pregnant Ex-Girlfriend, Throwing Head in Dumpster, While Family Planned Baby Shower”

Man Charged with Child Sexual Assault Targeted Single Moms on Dating Apps to Get Close to Their Kids: Police

Man Charged with Child Sexual Assault Targeted Single Moms on Dating Apps to Get Close to Their Kids: Police

If you’re a single adult with children, be careful who you date – this guy was targeting single women with children, so he could gain access to their children to molest or rape their children.

I remember when dating sites began getting more acceptable (now, people have moved on to apps), Christians would regularly advise their lovelorn single adult friends to “just try a dating site, that’s how my cousin Pam met her spouse Hank!” – er, no.

Your cousin’s luck not with standing, there are a lot of kooks, crazies, abusers, and selfish asshats on dating apps and sites of all ages (contrary to some 20 something lady’s post I recently saw, it’s not just today’s 20-something men who are selfish, rude, and sexist – this is true of men of all ages, and it was true of 20 something men on dating apps around the early to mid 2000s, back when I was using such sites).

So, to the married couples out there, please stop telling your single, lonely friends who want a spouse (or steady squeeze of some kind) in your perky, overly-optimistic voice, “Just try a dating site; it worked for my mailman Frank!”

The article says that this pervert is married!
I apologize for being so repetitive on this blog, but as so many social and religious conservatives continue to promote marriage, parenthood and The Nuclear Family to such an unhealthy degree, I have to remind them: marriage and parenthood do not make people more godly, mature, loving or ethical, nor will any of that “fix” sin in a culture.

This also goes against all the Christian guidance I read about dating and marriage in the 1980s and 1990s, which portrayed marriage as some kind of lofty achievement that one will only be granted by God if and when one reaches some level of spirituality, or maturity, or whatever.

The fact that so many jerky, abusive, loser, wacko Christian and Non-Christian people manage to get married goes to disprove those earlier Christian teachings that God will with-hold a spouse from you until you achieve perfection, when obviously less-then-perfect people manage to get married on a regular basis.

Now, I will say – the healthier you become (psychologically speaking), you will likely attract more healthy people in your life. If you continue on through life being a huge people pleasing, codependent doormat, you will likely attract narcissists, abusers, weirdos, the emotionally needy, and exploiters.

There are perverts like this guy on these dating sites and apps:

(Link): Accused sex predator targeted single mothers in Texas via dating apps, sheriff says 

March 30, 2022

The Montgomery County Sheriff’s Office is asking for potential victims who may have interacted with a suspect in an aggravated sexual assault of a child to come forward.

Epifanio Adolfo Jimenez has been arrested in connection to the case.

During the investigation, deputies learned Jimenez was targeting women with children through dating apps using the alias “Harley.”

The suspect allegedly asked to spend time with the women and their children.

(Link): Authorities seeking victims of man who targeted women with children through dating apps

According to the investigation, Jimenez is accused of targeting women with children through dating apps and then asking to spend time with their children under the alias “Harley.”

(Link): Man used dating apps to target single moms to get to their children, police say

(Link): Man Charged with Child Sexual Assault Targeted Single Moms on Dating Apps to Get Close to Their Kids: Police

Authorities say that 42-year-old Epifanio Adolfo Jimenez went by the name “Harley” on dating sites and specifically looked for women with children

By Steve Helling
March 31, 2022

A Texas man has been charged with sexual assault of a child — and authorities allege he has been targeting single moms through dating apps, then asking to spend time with their children.

Continue reading “Man Charged with Child Sexual Assault Targeted Single Moms on Dating Apps to Get Close to Their Kids: Police”

Three Reasons Women’s Ministries Might Want to Focus Less on Marriage and Motherhood

Three Reasons Women’s Ministries Might Want to Focus Less on Marriage and Motherhood

I’ve been saying many of the same things on this blog for the last several years that this 2022 essay says.

Churches, especially gender complementarian ones – and not just in women’s ministries, but overall, in every facet of a church – make single / childless / childfree women feel ignored or unwanted, except for those Christians who patronizingly behave like the only use for a single, childless woman is to babysit the children of the married couples.

Reminder to Christians: more adults are not marrying these days – at all. Some may marry, but not until their 30s, 40s or older. Many (even if they do marry) are choosing to forgo children.

When churches focus on marriage and motherhood to the extent they do, they also send a message that being married and a parent is necessary for sanctification or relationship with God, which is false.

A person does not need to marry or have children to be sanctified, know God, or to be mature, ethical, godly, loving, or responsible.

(Link): Three Reasons Women’s Ministries Might Want to Focus Less on Marriage and Motherhood

Excerpts:

March 25, 2022
by Rachel Baker

Women’s ministries are often the home to every category of woman: Single, married, mother, widow, and so forth. As a Women’s Ministry Director, I both attend a women’s small group and organize the women’s ministry meetings at my local church.

In my small group alone there is a vast array of women, each in different categories, some are empty nesters, some are starting families, some are intentionally single, while others are single with the hope of being in a relationship in the future.

We cover the gamut, so why is it that women’s ministries’ regularly cast their focus on the married mother?

Don’t get me wrong, as a married mother I have absolutely benefited from Bible study curriculum and content focused on marriage and motherhood, however it should go without saying that these types of studies do not represent all women.

If you are in a position at your local church in women’s ministry or as a small group leader here are a few reasons why you might want to steer your Bible study content away from marriage and motherhood:

Studies Solely Based on Marriage and Motherhood Can Feel Exclusive

As a young married woman and then young mother I desperately needed support and connection and resources to help me feel a little less alone in that particular season of my life.

Marriage ministries and parenting ministries absolutely have a place within the church; they are absolutely needed.

However, when our larger-scale ministries such as women’s ministry or small group ministry only focus on young-married or motherhood we can miss out on the richness that comes from a group of women of all life-stages and relationship status.

Continue reading “Three Reasons Women’s Ministries Might Want to Focus Less on Marriage and Motherhood”

Taiwan’s Birth Rate Sinks to Alarming Low as Pampered Pets Replace Babies by Nicola Smith

Taiwan’s Birth Rate Sinks to Alarming Low as Pampered Pets Replace Babies

(Link): Taiwan’s birth rate sinks to alarming low as pampered pets replace babies

Excerpts:

by Nicola Smith
Feb 22, 2022

…Taiwan has long lived with the terrifying prospect of invasion by neighbouring China, but one of the biggest threats to its economic security and prosperity of its society lies from within – the lowest birth rates in the world.

…As young people struggle with low wages, unaffordable house prices and work pressures that create an unfriendly environment for families, a visible sign of the reluctance to have children is the stark rise in pet ownership.

In September 2020, analysts estimated the number of domestic pets – about 3 million – had surpassed the number of children under the age of 15. The sale of pet accessories had a parallel boom, and now on the streets of Taipei, prams are often more likely carry dogs than babies.

Continue reading “Taiwan’s Birth Rate Sinks to Alarming Low as Pampered Pets Replace Babies by Nicola Smith”

Single Mom Says Dating is Tough – “I flew 1,000 miles and got ghosted and another guy said I was only good ‘for fun’”

Single Mom Says Dating is Tough – “I flew 1,000 miles and got ghosted and another guy said I was only good ‘for fun’”

Dating is also difficult when you’re childless or childfree. It’s tough for every one. But I digress. Here’s the article.

(Link): Single Mom Says Dating is Tough – “I flew 1,000 miles and got ghosted and another guy said I was only good ‘for fun’”

Feb 8, 2022
by Chloe Morgan

We all know that one person who is unlucky in love.

But when it comes to dating disasters, Eve, from the US, could just take top spot – after flying over one thousand miles to meet a date, only for him to not bother turning up.

…Taking to TikTok, the single mom-of-one shared a video of her heading home in a car and penned: “Flying home from Boston after getting ghosted.

“This is the last time I fly over a thousand miles to meet a pharmacist from Bumble.”

Continue reading “Single Mom Says Dating is Tough – “I flew 1,000 miles and got ghosted and another guy said I was only good ‘for fun’””

Four in 10 Adults Between the Ages of 25 and 54 are Single, Up From 29% in 1990

Four in 10 Adults Between the Ages of 25 and 54 are Single, Up From 29% in 1990

(Link): Four in 10 Adults Between the Ages of 25 and 54 are Single, Up From 29% in 1990

by Sarah Todd
Nov. 9, 2021

The frustrations that single people encounter in a largely coupled-up world are well established. Less well-known—but just as pervasive—are the challenges faced by single people at the office.

The expectation that single people clock longer hours than their paired-up counterparts is one common complaint. “Lots of people I interviewed complained that their managers presumed they had extra time to stay at the office or take on extra projects because they don’t have family at home,” Eric Klinenberg, author of the 2013 book Going Solotold The Atlantic last month.

And in some cases, being single can affect a person’s job prospects.

Continue reading “Four in 10 Adults Between the Ages of 25 and 54 are Single, Up From 29% in 1990”

These Single Moms Are Forced to Choose: Reveal Their Sexual Histories or Forfeit Welfare

These Single Moms Are Forced to Choose: Reveal Their Sexual Histories or Forfeit Welfare

(Link): These Single Moms Are Forced to Choose: Reveal Their Sexual Histories or Forfeit Welfare

Excerpts:

More than a dozen mothers in New Mexico spoke to ProPublica about their experiences with cash assistance, as did former Human Services Department lawyers and caseworkers who handled welfare applications.

The moms described it as humiliating and sometimes terrifying to be questioned about their sexual histories by agents of the state, in small interview rooms, just to obtain a basic form of government help.

Some were required to submit their children to genetic testing in order to receive aid.

Continue reading “These Single Moms Are Forced to Choose: Reveal Their Sexual Histories or Forfeit Welfare”

The Two Reasons Parents Regret Having Kids by G. Cornwall

The Two Reasons Parents Regret Having Kids

(Link): The Two Reasons Parents Regret Having Kids

Excerpts:

Aug 31, 2021
by Gail Cornwall

A small but significant proportion of mothers and fathers wish they’d never had children. The whole family can suffer as a result.

Carrie wishes that she’d never had children. She spent a few years feeling satisfied as a mother, but now locks herself in the kitchen and wonders, Who am I? What am I doing here? 

She can’t pursue paid work, because she has to shepherd her 12-year-old and 10-year-old to school as well as to therapy appointments for their disabilities.

Carrie, who lives in the U.K., told me that she often fantasizes about visiting her friend in Hawaii and never coming back. Her words felt so taboo that she asked to be referred to by only her first name. But sentiments of parental regret are less rare than one might imagine.

When American parents older than 45 were asked in a 2013 Gallup poll how many kids they would have if they could “do it over,” approximately 7 percent said zero.

Continue reading “The Two Reasons Parents Regret Having Kids by G. Cornwall”

‘IT’S LIKE LEAVING THE CULT’ – Former employee suing Dave Ramsey speaks out for the first time, by J. Finley

‘IT’S LIKE LEAVING THE CULT’ – Former employee suing Dave Ramsey speaks out for the first time, by J. Finley

This is an update to my previous post about this situation.

(Link): ‘IT’S LIKE LEAVING THE CULT’ – Former employee suing Dave Ramsey speaks out for the first time

Excerpts:

In her first interview since filing a federal lawsuit against the company of financial guru Dave Ramsey, Caitlin O’Conner described the company as a cult and said employees fear to make missteps in their personal lives for fear it will be reported to their work superiors.

O’Connor filed the federal lawsuit after she said she was fired for having premarital sex and becoming pregnant.

…That story featured audio of Ramsey speaking to staff, mocking employees who engage in premarital sex.

Continue reading “‘IT’S LIKE LEAVING THE CULT’ – Former employee suing Dave Ramsey speaks out for the first time, by J. Finley”

I Married Young. I Was Widowed Young. I Never Want A Long-Term Partner Again by R. Woolf

I Married Young. I Was Widowed Young. I Never Want A Long-Term Partner Again by R. Woolf

Hunh, but growing up, and even now, my fellow conservatives (some secular, some Christian) keep promoting the notion that married people are happier!, healthier! and just doing better! than single adults. But this woman’s editorial says, nah.

Not that I am in total agreement with all of this woman’s choices.

(Link): I Married Young. I Was Widowed Young. I Never Want A Long-Term Partner Again

Excerpts:

When my husband died, I vowed to stay single in my after-life. Not because I was grieving, but because domestic partnership was something I had no interest in doing again.

My marriage was traumatic in a way that I wasn’t fully cognizant of until it ended abruptly and my need to raise my four children in a household free of toxicity became my first priority.

My vow to stay a single mother would not mean limiting myself sexually and emotionally. I decided I would keep lovers — non-committal but satisfying short-term pairings.

What I came to find was that this decision, which steered me away from the kind of relationships I was conditioned to accept as status quo, would lead to the least toxic and most beneficial relationships I have ever been in.

Continue reading “I Married Young. I Was Widowed Young. I Never Want A Long-Term Partner Again by R. Woolf”

Christian Singles Aren’t Waiting for Marriage to Become Parents by Kara Bettis

Christian Singles Aren’t Waiting for Marriage to Become Parent

The following was published by Christianity Today in March 2021, but it’s actually kind of old news; if one reads “Quitting Church” by Julia Duin, she already noted in that book that a lot of single Christian women who wanted to be mothers were turning to sperm banks and so on, because the Christian husband promised to them by Christians never appeared.

So these unmarried women decided to go ahead with motherhood alone. And that information was published in that “Quitting Church” book, which I believe was published around 2008?

Many Christian churches and denominations have a real problem with adult singles, in that they are not doing squat to help singles who’d like to marry to actually get married – all most Christians and churches do in this regard is offer platitudes, shaming, or patronizing advice that doesn’t work…

Or, many Christians love to COMPLAIN about singles being single – rather than, you know, actually DOING SOMETHING to fix the situation (for those that would like to be married, not all singles do).

(Link): Christian Singles Aren’t Waiting for Marriage to Become Parents

As more unmarried women and men foster and adopt, how can the church provide what some nontraditional families cannot?

Continue reading “Christian Singles Aren’t Waiting for Marriage to Become Parents by Kara Bettis”