‘I Want My 2.3 Bonus Years’ – A.K.A., ‘Where do 50-year-old men get the strange impression that they could date a 23-year-old?’ by Mona Chalabi

‘I Want My 2.3 Bonus Years’ – A.K.A., ‘Where do 50-year-old men get the strange impression that they could date a 23-year-old?’ by Mona Chalabi

The Tweet from the NT Times had this as a heading: ‘Where do 50-year-old men get the strange impression that they could date a 23-year-old?’

As you should already be aware, I (Link): do not support people of either biological sex dating people much older or younger than themselves. I’m a big believer that May-December relationships are gross and disgusting, and people should date with a five year limit (five yrs older or younger than their own age).

Basically, this appears to be a half-way decent editorial, though the author jokingly disparages celibacy in it, unfortunately.

(Link): ‘I Want My 2.3 Bonus Years’ – AKA, ‘ Where do 50-year-old men get the strange impression that they could date a 23-year-old?’

Excerpts-

…Most men who date women don’t fantasize about what they would do if they had these bonus years, they simply get them. In two-thirds of heterosexual couples, the man is at least a year older than his partner. The average age difference is (Link): 2.3 years according to the Census Bureau.

…The fact that women end the childless part of our lives earlier than our male partners is just salt in the wound. And looking even farther down the line, the bigger the age difference, the more likely that it will be women who take care of their male partners in old age.

…This arrogance [by men regarding cavalier attitudes about marrying] has, as I see it, two main causes — one, a belief that their spermatozoa are good for a very long time, indeed, and two, a belief that they could get a younger woman if they wanted to.

Let me examine the evidence for each of those male beliefs; fertility first.

Continue reading “‘I Want My 2.3 Bonus Years’ – A.K.A., ‘Where do 50-year-old men get the strange impression that they could date a 23-year-old?’ by Mona Chalabi”

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Woman Boss at Thinx Company Accused of Sexual Harassment

Woman Boss at Thinx Company Accused of Sexual Harassment

I often see secular, left wing feminists deny that women can be terrible to women on the job. Of course, men can sometimes be horrible to other employees.

But in my time in the working world, while I was subjected to a few male jerks here and there, I also had to deal with rude, harassing, or awful female co-workers or female bosses. One of the all-time worse workplace bullying I ever encountered was at the hands of a FEMALE boss, not a male.

It’s a fact that there is such a thing as women bosses or women co-workers who harass other women workers, but feminists are loathe to admit this, because they seem to feel it bolsters sexist claims by men against women in the workplace.

The woman boss in this news report sounds absolutely disgusting and like a lunatic. And a control freak.

Also, it is sad to note that this supposedly “feminist” type company was AGEIST! They were ageist against any woman over the age of 29.

All the young ladies in this company, the ones being stalked by this perverted and creepy-sounding  boss, should read the book “Boundaries” and related material.

(Link):  Sexual-Harassment Claims Against a ‘She-E.O.’

Excerpts

Miki Agrawal, the co-founder of Thinx — a company that makes “period underwear” — doesn’t think much of boundaries. “I just love the taboo space,” she told New York last year, of her mission to (profitably) destigmatize menstruation. And in a promotional video for the product, she said, “My favorite thing to talk about are the things you’re not supposed to talk about.”

According to a complaint filed late last week by a former employee (and echoed in interviews with multiple current and former employees), those things have included: the size and shape of her employees’ breasts, an employee’s nipple piercings, her own sexual exploits, her desire to experiment with polyamory, her interest in entering a sexual relationship with one of her employees, and the exact means by which she was brought to female ejaculation.

Continue reading “Woman Boss at Thinx Company Accused of Sexual Harassment”

When Newsweek ‘Struck Terror in the Hearts of Single Women’ – Bogus Study Said Women Over 40 More Likely To Be Killed By A Terrorist Than to Marry

When Newsweek ‘Struck Terror in the Hearts of Single Women’ – Bogus Study Said Women Over 40 More Likely To Be Killed By A Terrorist Than to Marry

I was maybe a teen or in my 20s when this study came out. I remember at the time thinking it sounded pretty questionable and stupid.

(Link):  When Newsweek ‘Struck Terror in the Hearts of Single Women’ by M. Garber

Excerpts:

  • Thirty years ago, the magazine declared that single women over 40 are more likely to be killed by terrorism than to get married—prompting a nationwide crisis whose anxiety still lingers.
  • …Thirty years later—the publication date of the article was June 2—it’s easy to forget that the so-pervasive-as-to-be- (Link): Ephroned marriage-and-terrorism stat was plucked from a single piece of journalism that was in turn based on a study that was, at the time of the story’s publication, unpublished. It’s also easy to forget, given its resonance, that the stat comes from an article that has since been so (Link): thoroughly (Link): debunked, by demographers and sociologists and media outlets alike, that Newsweek, 20 years after the fact, (Link): retracted it.

Continue reading “When Newsweek ‘Struck Terror in the Hearts of Single Women’ – Bogus Study Said Women Over 40 More Likely To Be Killed By A Terrorist Than to Marry”

Bethke: “Christians Do Not Need To Get Married To Live A Full And Flourishing Existence”

Bethke: “Christians Do Not Need To Get Married To Live A Full And Flourishing Existence”

Before I get to the link itself (the editorial is located on The Christian Post site), whoever Tweeted the link to the article via Christian Post targeted “Young” Christians. I tweeted that account to tell them their quote – “[Christians] Do Not Need To Get Married To Live A Full And Flourishing Existence” applies equally to older Christians as well.

I find it irritating that frequently, when commentary about marriage comes up on Christian sites, nine times out of ten, it addresses singles who are in their 20s, or at least younger than age 35. There are adults singles who are over the age of 35, and I am sick and tired of this group being ignored.

My second point of contention is the headline itself as it appears on the Post’s page:

  • Jefferson Bethke to Christian Singles: Don’t Make Marriage an Idol

Normally when I link to other people’s blog posts or to news articles, I like to keep the original headline intact, or as close to the original as I can. In this case, I opted to change it as it appears in the heading on my blog. I find that headline as it appears on The Post to be problematic and troubling, because it seems to imply that a single adult wanting to get married is idolatry itself.

That is not so. Merely wanting something it not necessarily tantamount to making whatever that ‘something’ is into an idol.

Too often, Christians shame single adults for wanting to be married – stop it.Stop doing that. There is nothing wrong with a single adult wanting to be married or experiencing episodic bouts of unhappiness or frustration with being single when they’d prefer to be married.

Secondly, it’s generally not adult singles who make marriage into an idol, but churches, church culture, and 95% of married Christians.

Often times, married Christians make marriage out to be God’s intended purpose for most people, and they behave as though singleness is “second class,” a mistake, a bad thing, or a disease to be cured.

Would yours truly writing this post like to be married? Yes. However, this does not mean I take kindly to either being ignored due to my single status or treated as though I am not worthy, good, or worthwhile because I am single. (Please see this post on my blog for more on that.)

Here is the link to the Christian Post editorial (I changed the headline in my link to something less grating)  what he says in this interview / editorial applies to singles of all ages, not just “young Christians”:

(Link): Bethke: “Christians Do Not Need To Get Married To Live A Full And Flourishing Existence”

  • Young Christians should understand that being single is acceptable within the church, and they should avoid an idolatrous worship of marriage, evangelical speaker Jefferson Bethke said in a recent YouTube video.
  • In a brief video on his personal channel, Bethke addressed the idea of singleness, suggesting that often times, the modern church does a poor job of making single Christians feel welcome and accepted.
  • His message, he explains, is directed specifically at church leadership, as he believes churches need to sincerely ask themselves “are we making a space for single people?”
  • “So many times, we do such a bad job of creating a space for singles,” Bethke explains, adding that young Christians “do not need to get married to live a full and flourishing existence.”
  • Bethke notes that while church leadership don’t explicitly say it, singles can feel like “you’re a JV Christian until you get married.”

Continue reading “Bethke: “Christians Do Not Need To Get Married To Live A Full And Flourishing Existence””

Ministering to the Unmarried at Home and Abroad by C. Darnell

Ministering to the Unmarried at Home and Abroad by C. Darnell

(Link): Ministering to the Unmarried at Home and Abroad by C. Darnell

Excerpts:

  • March 8, 2016
  • For Kim Jackson, staying single into her 50s wasn’t a “big holy decision.” She dated through her 20s, but never met the right person.
  • “I had some pressure from friends and family for quite a while—now I’m so old, I guess they gave up,” said Jackson, now 58.
  • The percentage of unmarried adults in America has been growing since the 1970s. Today, almost half of U.S. adults are either divorced, widowed, or never married. But much church activity revolves around couples and families.
  • Jackson doesn’t begrudge the church its focus on families, but more could be done to make singles feel comfortable, she said.  Sunday school class names like “Pairs and Spares” or “Fish Out of Water” make singles feel like they don’t have a place in the church.

Continue reading “Ministering to the Unmarried at Home and Abroad by C. Darnell”

Women Are Still Being Told To Lower Their Standards / Stupid Sh*t People Say to Singles by S. H. Weiss

Women Are Still Being Told To Lower Their Standards / Stupid Sh*t People Say to Singles by S. H. Weiss

One thing the author of this page brings up is something I have as well: women are just as visually oriented as men are and do care about what men look like. However, women are conditioned by secular society and religious groups to think they should not care about a man’s physical attractiveness.

Women are conditioned to look past a man’s ugliness to consider his other traits – is he smart, financially stable, and so on.

Now, I do think some people are in fact way too judgmental or picky regarding physical appearance in dating or whom to marry.

But, on the other hand, there is absolutely nothing wrong in wanting to date or marry someone you consider attractive. I don’t think people of either gender should be super picky about looks, but it’s okay to have some preferences or standards.

The woman who wrote this says she caught some guy she knew lying in his dating site profile – he was 35 years old but claimed on his dating profile he is 25 or 30 years old. She asked him why he lied about his age.

He claims it’s because he wants to start a family and a woman in her 20s is guaranteed to be fertile.

First of all, women in their 40s (and 30s) still menstruate and get pregnant, so you don’t need to marry a 20 something to have babies. Some women in their 20s are childfree or infertile.

Secondly, as I noted before, I advised single women who read this blog to lie on their dating site profiles about their ages, to make themselves younger than they are.

As so many men are this very shallow and particular about age in a woman (many of them have a cut off age of 29, while for others, it’s about 35), go ahead and cite yourself as being 20 or 30 something on your profile if you are over 40 and want dates.

The worst thing that will happen once the guy gets to know you after he meets you via a dating site is that he will decide to stop dating you. Big whoop.

I have seen or read about a lot of men ages 45 and older who lie about their ages on dating sites. I’ve had guys who are obviously 65 or older (they have all white hair) who contact me on dating sites, who claim to be 41 or 42 years old. Men lie out the ass about their ages (and their height, according to other women) all the time on these sites.

(Link):  Liberated Shmiberated!: Women are Still Being Told to Lower Their Standards (& it’s messed up!) by S. H. Weiss

Excerpts:

  • February 2016
  • …It is Traister’s message that I would like to share with the women I have spoken with lately, women who feel they need to defend themselves to others about why they are not married, why they are not “just settling down already” and why they are “being too picky.”
  • The women I speak of range from early 30s to early 40s. Some of them have never been married, while others were married briefly. A third of them are divorced and have children. The one thing these friends have in common is that they all say that are not “single by choice.” They express the desire to find their perfect life partner.
  • ..However, there are Yentas everywhere, some well-intentioned and others questionably motivated. This is especially true for those who are part of a tight-knit or religious community (ranging from the Mormons to the Modern Orthodox Jewish).

Continue reading “Women Are Still Being Told To Lower Their Standards / Stupid Sh*t People Say to Singles by S. H. Weiss”

❤ Valentine’s Day, the Church and Single Awareness Day? by J. Storment

❤ Valentine’s Day, the Church and Single Awareness Day? by J. Storment ❤

❤

I don’t think I am actually going to make a Valentine’s Day post this year ON the day itself, or shortly before.

Valentine’s Day is this Sunday, so you can consider this here post this blog’s annual Valentine’s Day (Singles Awareness Day) post.

Unless I come across a really groovy, outstanding V-Day post between now and then, this is it, then I will consider logging in and making a new post – but I will be kind of busy later this week, so I don’t know if I will have time.

The following is a blog post that covers much of the same ground my own blog has addressed:

(Link): Valentines Day, the Church and Single Awareness Day? by J. Storment (on Jesus Creed blog)

Excerpts:

  • So unfortunately this year Valentine’s Day falls on a Sunday.
  • I say unfortunately because in most of the churches I’ve seen in life make a really big deal about marriage and families and romance and kids and happily ever after, and rightfully so. Those are good gifts from God in many people’s lives.
  • vDayImage
  • But what is so unfortunate about Feb 14th falling on a Sunday this year, is that many (most) churches have gone beyond celebrating marriage and family.
  • For the past several decades we’ve all but idolized it.
  • … Stanley Hauerwas points out that when Christianity first was introduced to the pagan world it changed the way they viewed marriage because it de-idolized it. After all, there was no more radical act in that day than to live a life without producing heirs.

Continue reading “❤ Valentine’s Day, the Church and Single Awareness Day? by J. Storment”

I’m a [Single / Unmarried] Woman, and my Church Didn’t Know What To Do With That – by A D Abdallah

I’m a [Single / Unmarried] Woman, and my Church Didn’t Know What To Do With That – by A D Abdallah

This author hits on a lot of points I have on my own blog in the past few years.

One point she hammers on which I have blogged on a couple of times myself, is that a lot of churches, for some stupid reason, equate having sex and/or being married with becoming an adult.

You can be an adult at age 40, but Christians will still treat you as though you are a child because you have never married, and they associate being married with being an adult. This needs to stop. You don’t need to marry, have sex, or have children to be a full-fledged adult.

The author also discusses another common experience among a lot of Christian women: the huge pressure other people place on you to marry and to marry right away, and that you should change aspects of yourself (such as “dumb yourself down”) to attract “husband material.”

Notice how Christians just assume you want to marry or that all people will marry. The reality is that not everyone wants to marry, and some people, even if they do want to marry, never manage to because they never find a suitable partner.

I am putting this blog post under the rubric of “ageist” or “ageism” because I have noticed that churches, while fine with singles who are under the age of 25, tend to ignore or insult singles who are over the age of 25 or 30.

(Link): I’m a [Single / Unmarried] Woman, and my Church Didn’t Know What To Do With That by A D Abdallah

Some excerpts (with a comment or two below this excerpt by me):

  • Our identity isn’t stagnant, figured out when young, and never changing or developing. No, it is formed throughout our lives, especially during transitions. While some aspects endure, others mature, some are added, and still others are cast off.
  • When I was about sixteen, a pastor told me to be less assertive and strong because otherwise I’d never find a husband. Mom says I came home saying I couldn’t deny who I really was in order to please others.
  • But my husbandless twenties left me wondering about who I was. Not about whether I was assertive or strong, but about my identity as a woman. I had only understood womanhood in the roles of wife and mother, roles I did not have.
  • After college graduation, I moved to South America to teach school. The church kept me in the jovenes group—the one for teenagers and other unmarried folks. Two years later, in my rural Pennsylvania church, people treated me like I was still a college kid. I knew I was in the fourth year of my teaching career, but was I a woman or still just a girl?

Continue reading “I’m a [Single / Unmarried] Woman, and my Church Didn’t Know What To Do With That – by A D Abdallah”

My Online Dating Experiment by C. Lloyd (Christian Author)

My Online Dating Experiment by C. Lloyd (Christian Author)

You see how the author of the following piece says men are too picky and discriminatory about age on dating sites? That’s why, if you are a woman, you should subtract ten to fifteen years off your true age when you put your age on a dating site.

However, I will not date men who are more than five, six years my junior, so should any super young guys contact me on dating sites, I don’t contact them back. I’ve written about all that in prior posts, so I won’t get into that here.

The lady who wrote this says her female friends (who also did this online dating experience at the same time she did) noticed that the Christian men on Christian dating sites were unattractive.

I’ve noticed that too.

About any time I see Christian men on dating sites or in singles classes at local churches, they tend to look dorky, dweeby, or are obese.

Physical appearance of a man is important to single women, even Christian ones, but you wouldn’t know that fact thanks to all the gender stereotyping garbage that Christian gender complementarians push in their blogs, articles, and sermons, which keep telling Christian men that women are “emotionally wired” and that women don’t care about sex or looks, and that men are supposedly “visually wired” and care about looks.

(Link): My Online Dating Experiment by C. Lloyd

Excerpts:

  • A few months ago, we asked Carrie Lloyd to delve into the world of online dating. She reveals what it takes for a single Christian woman to hook up via cyberspace.
  • ————–
  • … A dedication to online dating, just for you; for this article. Having chatted to the Premier Christianity team, I agreed to experiment in trying to find love in the cyber world, with all its personality filters: lawn game champion, marathoner, political junkie, health nut, zombie survivalist, tree-hugger, vegan, die-hard carnivore, non-believer in cologne (or deodorant), and finally, but importantly for me, just how much are you a Christian – really?
  • Taking the plunge
  • So, at 35, and still yet to find the right man to marry, would the online dating world be full of desperate souls seeking marriage so their lives could begin?

Continue reading “My Online Dating Experiment by C. Lloyd (Christian Author)”

The best age to marry is when you meet the right person by L. Bonos – editorial responding to study that says if you marry past 30 your marriage is doomed

The best age to marry is when you meet the right person – editorial responding to study that says if you marry past 30 your marriage is doomed

A study came out about a week ago that said if you marry in your early 30s, your marriage was likely to end in divorce. I don’t recall the study mentioning first marriages that occur past one’s mid 30s.

I was going to write a blog post pointing out some of the issues I have with that study, but just the other day I came across this editorial, which raises some of the same points I was going to.

(Link): The best age to marry is when you meet the right person by Lisa Bonos

  • July 24, 2015
  • As you’ve probably read, we now know the (Link): “best age” to get married: There’s a low risk of divorce when tying the knot at 28 to 32, not too young and not all that old, either. Slate called it (Link): the Goldilocks Theory of Marriage. Time.com declared: (Link): Math Says This Is the Perfect Age to Get Married.
  • So if you married your sweetheart in that sweet spot: Congratulations. I wish you a lifetime of statistically probable happiness. But if you’re single, younger than 28 or older than 32, and want to marry someday: Pay little attention to that chart.
  • Age isn’t the only thing that determines marital happiness. I imagine that marrying at the “right” time — and picking the wrong person — could also increase your chances of divorce.
  • You can’t plot the path of your life ahead of time, as if it were a chart waiting for you to fill in the data points — especially when those life events depend on other people.
  • You can decide to move somewhere by a certain age, sure, or save up a certain amount of money to buy a house or a car months or years in the future. But you can’t decide ahead of time exactly when you will marry, have a child or make a certain amount of money.
  • There are other people or factors involved: potential partners, fertility fluctuation, employers, the economy at large. I don’t have a new study here to back me up, but in my experience — not as a sociologist or economist, but as a person — trying to control all that can make you crazy.

Continue reading “The best age to marry is when you meet the right person by L. Bonos – editorial responding to study that says if you marry past 30 your marriage is doomed”

Don’t Listen to Assh-les Who Tell You When to Have Kids

Don’t Listen to Assh-les Who Tell You When to Have Kids

This editorial applies to anyone and everyone, but I’ve noticed that evangelicals, Baptists, and other conservative Christians are quite fond of shaming, arguing, or guilt tripping Christians into getting married and having children and by a certain age.

I would encourage you to click through and read this entire link below. I am not in the mood to copy or paste the whole thing here, and some people don’t like it when you reproduce an entire blog post from their blog on yours.

So do click through to read the whole thing, because there are huge chunks of arguments this author raises to defend you making your own choices on when to have children rather than being shamed into having kids when other people say you should – ones that don’t appear in my excerpts below.

(Link): Don’t Listen to Assh-les Who Tell You When to Have Kids

Excerpts

  • by Tracy Moore
  • For the first time in seven years, the birth rate has (Link): risen. The 1 percent increase is attributed to women in their 30s and 40s popping ‘em out a smidge faster.

  • But, before you begin to celebrate the expansion of motherhood’s age range, here are a bunch of statistics from a piece at Quartz that says that those older moms and dads are miserable—and that it’s high time they stopped pretending otherwise.

Continue reading “Don’t Listen to Assh-les Who Tell You When to Have Kids”

Celibacy is Not Just for Homosexuals or Roman Catholic Priests / and a critique of a post at another blog

Celibacy is Not Just for Homosexuals or Roman Catholic Priests / and a critique of a post at another blog

I will start this post out in general terms and then proceed to offer a critique of a post by John Morgan, so excerpts from his post will be much farther below.

It appears to me that the Bible says that sex is reserved for married couples, with marriage being defined by Jesus Christ as being between one man and one woman.

When responding to a question about marriage by religious critics, Jesus referred back to Adam and Eve in the Garden, pointing out that it was God’s original intent for marriage to be comprised of one man, one woman.

However, it appears that many people associate the practice of, or the word, “Celibacy” with only homosexual singles these days, and for hundreds of years, with Roman Catholic priests.

I’ve seen several articles where some Roman Catholics are asking their church to repeal the celibacy requirement from priests.

Here are some examples of the recent discussion of celibacy in regards to homosexuality:

(Link):  Number of celibate gay Christians rises in traditional churches

(Link): Growing movement of gay Christians choosing celibacy

(Link):  Gay Christians choosing celibacy

(Link): Gay, Celibate, Christian?

(Link):  FDA Favors Year Of Celibacy Rule For Gay Male Donors

I follow the conservative blog “Hot Air” on Twitter. Hot Air moderators recently posted a blog page about celibate homosexuals. Here it is,

(Link): Gay Christians choosing celibacy emerge from the shadows – from Hot Air’s blog

I have more to say about this Hot Air article farther below.

At any rate. Since so many homosexuals claim they were born homosexual and cannot change their sexual orientation, I proposed over a year ago, before the “celibacy” topic became popular in various news outlets, that homosexual Christians practice celibacy.

I think it is a workable compromise: if you have homosexual leanings, feel attracted to the same gender, I don’t think that means you have to act upon sexual urges.

I have no idea why this idea would be considered controversial, but according to several news articles I have read, it is in fact considered a controversial idea among Christians, heterosexuals, and homosexuals.

I do not see why, as HETEROsexuals are also commanded by the Bible to remain celibate, unless they are married to an opposite gender person; people are permitted, by God, teaches the Bible, to have sex with their opposite gender partner, but in no other circumstances.

Lifelong celibacy is NOT impossible.

For example, see this post on this blog:

(Link): Typical Erroneous Teaching About Adult Celibacy Rears Its Head Again: To Paraphrase Speaker at Ethics and Public Policy Center: Lifelong Celibacy is “heroic ethical standard that is not expected of heteros, so it should not be expected of homosexuals” (ie, it’s supposedly an impossible feat for any human being to achieve)

Lifelong celibacy can be difficult at times, yes, but not impossible, yet many Christians keep depicting a life without sex as being a Herculean task only a tiny few are capable of, because, they wrongly assume, God sprinkles magic dust on celibate singles to remove sexual desire. This is false.

Celibates still experience sexual urges and desires and attraction, they simply choose not to act upon those feelings or attractions.

When married people are apart, they are expected, by the Bible, to abstain from sex.

Continue reading “Celibacy is Not Just for Homosexuals or Roman Catholic Priests / and a critique of a post at another blog”

The Bigger the Age Gap The Shorter The Marriage / Divorce Rates Predicted By Age Differences

The Bigger the Age Gap The Shorter The Marriage  / Divorce Rates Predicted By Age Differences

(Link): The Bigger the Age Gap The Shorter the Marriage

Excerpts

  • And according to data in a recent study of 3,000 people by Andrew Francis and Hugo Mialon, professors in the Department of Economics at Emory University in Atlanta, it [age differences between spouses] could be a considerable factor.
  • Randal Olson, a fourth-year computer science graduate research assistant at Michigan State University, crunched the raw data from Emory and found that a larger age gap is related to a higher divorce rate.
  • A five-year age gap statistically means you’re 18 percent more likely to divorce (versus just 3 percent with a 1-year age difference), and that rate rises to 39 percent for a 10-year age difference and 95 percent for a 20-year age gap.
  • Partners from different generations may have different cultural reference points and values, and polar opposite tastes in music and film, and even friends, and also have different approaches to their sex life, says Fran Walfish, Beverly Hills psychotherapist and panelist on “Sex Box,” a forthcoming We TV relationship therapy show. “Sex drive goes up for women in middle age, but sexual function decreases for men.”
  • …The high number of short marriages could be people remarrying and choosing the same type of partner. “It does not work for the same reasons the prior relationship did not work,” he adds.
  • Others caution about confusing stability or longevity with happiness. Many marriages that appear stable to outside observers may just be an “empty shell” for couples who stay together for legal, religious, financial and/or child-rearing reasons, says Simon Rego, director of psychology training at Montefiore Medical Center in New York City.

(Link):  Divorce Rates Predicted By Age Differences

  • By Ashley Helms | Nov 12, 2014 06:26 PM EST
  • Age may really be more than just a number.A large age gap may be a big contributing factor to divorce rates, according to a new study on 3,000 people in Atlanta, the (Link): New York Post reported on Tuesday.
  • Randal Olsen, a computer science graduate research assistant at Michigan State University, found that how close a couple is in age can predict if they get divorced or not.Statistically, a five-year age gap means you’re 18 percent more likely to split, against just 3 percent with a single-year age difference. At a 10-year difference, that number rises to 39 percent. It soars to 90 percent for a 20-year difference in age.

    Reasons for the conclusion are opposite tastes in music and movies, different needs and desires from sex and vastly different pop cultural values and references.

    “Sex drive goes up for women in middle age, but sexual function decreases for men,” said Fran Walfish, a Beverly Hills psychotherapist.

    Having your first baby before marriage can mean you’re 59 percent less likely to end in divorce, as opposed to a childless couple. Though having a child while you’re married shows a 76 percent decrease in divorce rate.

    In regards to education, a couple is 43 percent more likely to divorce if they have different levels of education than a couple who has the same qualifications.

    And there’s some good news: couples are 94 percent less likely to divorce if they make it to their 10th anniversary, (Link): Market Watch reported.

    Critics of the study warn not to equate a long marriage with a happy one. Marriages that appear happy on the outside may still be going on due to religious, financial, child-rearing or other reasons.

    “So while having children with your spouse may be a factor that decreases the chances of divorce, it may be that a couple with kids chooses to stay together for the sake of the kids, despite the marriage having nothing else to it,”  said Simon Rego, director of psychology training at Montefiore Medical Center in New York City.

——————————–

Related posts:

(Link): Creepy, wrong, immature and pathetic: older men chasing after much younger women

(Link):  Study:  Big Gaps in Age Can Turn A Marriage Sour in Just Six Years

(Link): Online Dating: Women Want Younger Men (article)

(Link): Men Become ‘Invisible’ And Lose Sex Appeal At 39 – Article from Daily Caller

(Link): Thirty Year Old Man Likes To Date and Have Sex with 80, 90 Year Old Women

(Link): Obnoxious, Condescending, Sexist, Pervy Esquire Editorial by 50-Something Year Old Man: “In Praise of 42 Year Old Women” – Condescendingly Reassures 40 Something Women He’d Sex Them Up

(Link): Follow Up – Reactions by Other Writers to Sexist, Condescending 50 Something Men Who Think They Are Final Arbiters of If Women Are Attractive Past Age of 40 (Re: Esquire Editorial by Junod)

Does Sexism Hurt Men Too? If this picture of ‘perfect’ women is being blamed for self-hate and eating disorders… then why isn’t this one?

Does Sexism Hurt Men Too?  If this picture of ‘perfect’ women is being blamed for self-hate and eating disorders… then why isn’t this one?

I have noticed that secular, left wing feminists can be complete hypocrites at times, and I’ve discussed it before (see links at bottom, under “Related Posts”).

I’ve never heard of John Prescott before – he’s mentioned in the following editorial – have no idea who he is, but this editorial does highlight some of the double standards that left wing feminists harbor.

I still believe that society places far more emphasis on women concerning physical appearance than it does males.

Women are not allowed in American (or British) culture to age, gain weight, or get wrinkles.

We women are expected to be perpetually stick thin, sexy at all times, we cannot have wrinkles, we can never age.

Men don’t face as near as much pressure to retain a thin, youthful, and attractive appearance, but they have been getting more pressure in this area in recent years.

And, which in a way, is not entirely a bad thing.

Christian men seem to be coddled by Christian culture to think that so long as they do things like read their Bible daily, claim to love Jesus and attend church once a week, that they can be bald, fat, ugly, be 56 years old, and weigh 678 pounds and still qualify for a sexy, 22 year old, stick thin, chesty woman as a wife or girlfriend.

Which is wrong, as well as delusional thinking.

Many Christian women are visually oriented and would prefer to date good looking men rather than ugly or fat ones, and it doesn’t matter how “godly” the men in question are. Most men don’t hear that message in most Christian material on dating, however.

I’m not saying it’s good that men are starving themselves to death to be pretty, but that some of them are now catching on that it’s not enough to have a great job, attend church, or have money, that doing or having those things does not entitle them to a great, attractive, smart woman, is a message they need to come to terms with.

The page below compares two photos. One photo was from some company campaign, showing women in their underwear, a photo which got a lot of criticism from feminists. The other photo shows a similar advertisement campaign but it contains a built, studly looking young male model in only his underwear.

(Link): If this picture of ‘perfect’ women is being blamed for self-hate and eating disorders… then why isn’t this one?

Excerpts.

  • When John Prescott revealed he suffered from bulimia, he was ridiculed
  • But recently, feminists complained that a Victoria Secret’s ad played on women’s insecurities and sent out damaging messages 
  • There was no similar outcry over David Gandy’s steamy M&S posters 
  • But Peter Lloyd claims ‘muscle men’ are unarguably as damaging to male self-perception as The Perfect Body is to females
  • In a controversial new book, he claims men are the real victims of sexism 

Continue reading “Does Sexism Hurt Men Too? If this picture of ‘perfect’ women is being blamed for self-hate and eating disorders… then why isn’t this one?”

Idiot Assumes His 44 Year Old Sister Is A Lesbian Because She’s Never Been Married

Idiot Assumes His 44 Year Old Sister Is A Lesbian Because She’s Never Been Married

Usually, people assume homosexuality is at play when a man makes it to 35 or older and doesn’t marry, but on occasion, women are also subjected to this.

(Link): Dear Abby Letter (second letter on page)

  • DEAR ABBY:
  • I think my sister “Gladys” is a lesbian. And I don’t know how to approach her to ask.
  • I think she’s a lesbian because at 44 she has never been married.
  • She hasn’t even had a boyfriend since 1998.
  • She still lives with our parents and acts like she’s daddy’s little girl. She does everything with Dad, and Mom usually stays home.
  • My sister is an RN and has only one friend from the hospital where she works. Of course, that friend is a woman. How can I ask my sister if she prefers women and why she is still alone at her age?
  • — BIG BROTHER IN CALIFORNIA
  • DEAR BIG BROTHER: I would caution you against doing that. If you and your sister were close and she was gay, she would have said something to you by now. Not all women meet the right man, and not all women these days want to be married. It does not mean they are lesbians.
  • Your sister is gainfully employed, so the fact that she lives with your parents does not mean she’s financially exploiting them.
  • That you would call her “daddy’s little girl” is pejorative and implies that you’re jealous of the relationship she has with your father, which is why I think you should MYOB.

The brother in this letter needs to take his rude assumptions and cram them up his butt and leave his sister the hell alone. Abby’s advice was pretty decent. I’m afraid if this idiot had written to Ask Amy, Amy would have upheld most or all of idiot’s assumptions.

—————————————-

Related posts:

(Link):  34 Year Old Single Woman Harassed by Relatives at Wedding Over Why She Is Not Married Yet Asks How To Get Them to STFU About Her Singleness

(Link):  Stigmas and Stereotypes of Single Unmarried Men Over 25 or 30 Years of Age – They’re Supposedly All Homosexual or Pedophiles

(Link): My Parents Excluded Me When I Was Single — Now They’re Doing It to My Sister (Ask Amy Column)

(Link): Never Married 38 Year Old Christian Guy Wants to Know Why Churches Treat Him Like a Freak 

(Link):   Glad to Be Single – Husband Married to Woman Now Says He’s Homosexual And Wants Out

(Link):  Pat Robertson Says 44 Year old Never Married Woman Who Wants Marriage is “Desperate” 

(Link): Old accusation and stereotypes tossed at unmarried people, even if and when it’s not true: “You’re Bitter!” and “You Have Baggage!” (“And that’s why you’re still single!”)

(Link): Salvation By Marriage Alone – The Over Emphasis Upon Marriage (and “family”) by Conservative Christians Evangelicals Southern Baptists

Ageism Vs. Age Preferences and Creepy Older Men (critique of post at another blog)

Ageism Vs. Age Preferences and Creepy Older Men

Here is a critique of a blog page by a self identifying, 50- something year old, celibate, Christian by the name of John Morgan (who I had to ban from my blog months before. See other, older posts on this blog for details about that).

Here’s his (J. Morgan’s) blog page about ageism, as it pertains to celibacy and singleness.

(I find it strange that while this guy doesn’t understand women, seems to harbor hostility against them, yet thinks he understands them, so he writes material such as this):

(Link):  Ageism’s Effect on Virtuous Women

Excerpt:

  • Isn’t it odd that virginity is not supposed to exist today after 30, especially for guys? The result is a lot of lonely girls looking for Mr. Right and the typical “I’m too good for you” man-hating language infiltrating the internet dating profiles. How does the virtuous guy interpret that?
  • Not too good. Here’s a sample from a 23 year old girl:
  • ““I’m a virgin and plan on staying that way till I get married. You shouldn’t message me if you’re older then 28. I’m not gonna date you. I’m really not even comfortable being your friend at that point. You better be ready for a conversation. None of this 20 question crap. It’s uncomfortable. I won’t play. You best be ready for a friendship first. That’s right, I only date from my friend zone pile. That’s how I know your character.
  • /end quote by 23 year old woman
  • I guess in her world those of us over 28 and waiting don’t exist. This is what happens when even the eyes of decent girls get fogged over with the ways of the world, when they spend so much time in front of TVs watching the rape and murder stories on the local news that they can’t discern reality.
  • Fornication becomes a self-fulfilling prophesy. If you expect no better than that, you will see no better than that. If you expect all Mr. Wrongs, you will see only Mr. Wrongs.

Here he goes again, blaming women.

He seems to have some real issues with women, and blaming them.

Who runs churches and much of Christian culture? Men, that’s who – especially married men.

Most churches do not permit women to teach or lead or to make decisions about anything beyond what type of casserole to bring to the church potluck.

So I’d say married men in churches, or who are otherwise very influential figure heads in Christian culture (e.g., male Christian authors), are in large measure to blame for how Christian singles are dysfunctional in how they deal with each other and with dating, as they are the ones dictating to everyone else in society how Christian singles “should” be relating to each other. Stop laying that mess at the feet of unmarried Christian women.

(Some married Christian women are to blame for this situation as well, such as author Debbie Maken. However, the ladies are outnumbered by the men who preach, lecture, and crank out books by ten to one.)

At any rate, let’s examine the content of Morgan’s comments and the woman’s quote again.

Where Morgan writes,

  •  Isn’t it odd that virginity is not supposed to exist today after 30, especially for guys?

No, it’s not considered “especially” odd by some in our culture for men to be virgins past 30. It’s considered equally odd by our culture for women to be so past their mid 20s, see this post for an explanation:

(Link): Male Entitlement and Adult Virginity: Who has it worse, Male Vs. Female? (critique of post at other blog)

Quoting Morgan:

  • Fornication becomes a self-fulfilling prophesy. If you expect no better than that, you will see no better than that. If you expect all Mr. Wrongs, you will see only Mr. Wrongs.

It’s not a question of women seeing Mr. Wrongs, as though Mr. Wrongs exist only in their imaginations. There are in fact a ton of Mr. Wrongs in existence, even among self professing Christian males. I have documented many examples, see this page.

See also these pages (some of these links are off site) for more examples of the sexist bullsh-t women have to deal with routinely on dating sites:

Getting back again to the commentary Morgan says he got from a 23 year old woman’s dating profile (question: he told me in the past he’s over 50. What in the hell is he doing looking at the profiles of 23 year olds? Or is he getting her information elsewhere?)

Anyway, she says she is 23 and has an age cap of 28 on men she is willing to date. If you are a man past 28, she says no gracias to you, get lost.

Do you know why she has an age cap of 28?

It’s not necessarily because she assumes all men over 30 are fornicators, but that she would feel more comfortable dating a man within five years of her age.

And that is a perfectly normal, reasonable preference.

Continue reading “Ageism Vs. Age Preferences and Creepy Older Men (critique of post at another blog)”

Response to Various Cranky Critics Who Have Left Nasty Posts At This Blog From June to August 2014

Response to Various Cranky Critics Who Have Left Nasty Posts At This Blog From Around June to August 2014

If you have even bothered to glance at the heading on this blog, it says,

  • this is a blog for me to vent; I seldom permit dissenting views. I don’t debate dissenters.

This disclaimer doesn’t stop cranky people, the occasional troll, or idiot from leaving nasty, vulgar, or negative remarks.

I do not usually read the negative posts that closely. I generally scan the first few lines of a new post, and if I ascertain quickly it’s a troll post, that it contains vitriol, snark, or a rant, I send it to the trash.

In the past two months, I’ve gotten a handful of nasty grams. I sent those posts to the trash can.

Here are summaries of the various nasty grams I have received, and my responses.

In this post, I will be discussing,

  • 1. The Bitter Lady
  • 2. The Grouchy Be Equally Yoked Lady
  • 3. The You’re An Intolerant Homophobe Guy
  • 4. The Immature I Am a 40 Year Old Man Who Likes to Pork 20 Year Old Women Lying Creepster Troll

-among others

Continue reading “Response to Various Cranky Critics Who Have Left Nasty Posts At This Blog From June to August 2014”

Follow Up Part 2 – Reactions by Other Writers to Sexist, Condescending 50 Something Men Who Think They Are Final Arbiters of If Women Are Attractive Past Age of 40 (Re: Esquire Editorial by Junod)

Follow Up Part 2 – Reactions by Other Writers to Sexist, Condescending 50 Something Men Who Think They Are Final Arbiters of If Women Are Attractive Past Age of 40 (Re: Esquire Editorial by Junod)

Original Post:

Follow Up 1:

More backlash:

Note: as to this link below, at the LA Times, the section on the page entitled “It misleads women into thinking they have time” was actually quite sexist. I have chosen to not paste that part of the page in.

That part was written by a Charlotte Allen who argues that all men will always favor 22 year old women over 42 year old women, mostly because most men want to have babies.

I don’t know what rock that woman writer is living under, but women in their 40s still get their periods every month and conceive ((Link): read this page for starters – that is one but several pages I have on this blog noting that lots and lots more women are getting pregnant, some for the first time, over age 40).

I personally never really cared if I had a baby or not, but I think it’s sexist to say that women over 40 are basically unvaluable (to men) because, in the writer’s opinion, they’re all barren (they are not, by the way. A lot of “oops” pregnancies happen to women over 40, because they go off birth control under the mistaken notion “I can no longer get pregnant, or not easily.”)

(Link): What’s so offensive about Esquire’s praise of 42-year-old women?

Excerpts:

    By ALEXANDRA LE TELLIER

    Women don’t need a writer dressed in feminist clothing to define her worth by his own narrow definitions

    Tom Junod set the social web aflame with his article praising 42-year-old women. Never did one think that Esquire, a men’s magazine that’s stayed above the lad mag fray, could enrage so many people. But that it did, with people accusing Junod of sexism.

    “Let’s face it: There used to be something tragic about even the most beautiful forty-two-year-old woman,” Junod begins. Now, he writes, “it may be said that the best thing that forty-two-year-old American men have going for them is forty-two-year-old American women.”

    It might sound like a compliment, but women aren’t buying it.

    … I asked some of our female writers for their thoughts, and here’s what they had to say.

    Where has Junod been?

    … And, men, you now have Esquire’s permission to objectify women in their 40s without being creepy to other men. (But, again, only if the women do Pilates and yoga.) This expands your potential ogling to hundreds, even thousands more women each year.

    Kidding aside, I find the whole premise of the piece to be completely outdated, if it was ever true to begin with. It’s as though Esquire and Junod have been cryogenically frozen for the last 20 to 30 years and woke up to discover this new creature in mass media called the Modern Woman. She’s independent! She’s empowered! She’s still sexy at 40!

    But my biggest complaint is that Junod and Esquire reinforce the sexualization of women in general — the idea that the value of a woman is how much she arouses a man.

    Continue reading “Follow Up Part 2 – Reactions by Other Writers to Sexist, Condescending 50 Something Men Who Think They Are Final Arbiters of If Women Are Attractive Past Age of 40 (Re: Esquire Editorial by Junod)”

A Sexual Revolution for Young Evangelicals? No. (from NR, by Russell Moore)

A Sexual Revolution for Young Evangelicals? No.

Moore is at it again. And he’s flip flopping in a way.

Moore goes from bashing the concept of virginity until marriage ((Link): see this post) to now sort of arguing in favor of, or thinking it’s great that more Christians are supposedly remaining sexually pure. He also (like the rest of Christendom) seems to assume there are no virgins past the age of 30 (but there are).

(Link): A Sexual Revolution for Young Evangelicals? No.

    Defying the secular culture, churchgoing Christians are sticking to Biblical teaching.

    By Russell D. Moore and Andrew Walker

    In any discussion about the future of religion in America, especially as it relates to stalled growth in churches and denominations, those outside our religious communities find one theory especially compelling.

    This is the idea: that young Evangelicals are frustrated with Christian orthodoxy’s strict standards of sexual morality.

    We’re told that these young Evangelicals will soon revolutionize our churches with liberalized views on same-sex marriage, premarital sex, gender identity, and so on. But a new study by a University of Texas sociologist finds that Evangelical Christians ages 18 to 39 are resisting liberalizing trends in the culture.

    Continue reading “A Sexual Revolution for Young Evangelicals? No. (from NR, by Russell Moore)”

Obnoxious, Condescending, Sexist, Pervy Esquire Editorial by 50-Something Year Old Man: “In Praise of 42 Year Old Women” – Condescendingly Reassures 40 Something Women He’d Sex Them Up

Obnoxious, Condescending, Sexist Esquire Editorial by 50-Something Year Old Man, Tom Junod: “In Praise of 42 Year Old Women” – Condescendingly Reassures 40 Something Women He’d Sex Them Up
—————
WARNING: This post contains the “F” word in it a lot, mostly by other people who I am quoting. I am not going to sit here and edit out all the “F” words. Proceed at your own risk if naughty words make you blush

Edit. There is a follow up to this post on this blog here:
(Link): Follow Up – Reactions by Other Writers to Sexist, Condescending 50 Something Men Who Think They Are Final Arbiters of If Women Are Attractive Past Age of 40 (Re: Esquire Editorial by Junod)
—————-
I do acknowledge that there is a lot of sexism and ageism in our culture. Women are thought to have “sell by” dates – and I notice this age varies.

(By the way, the same thing has caught up to men now. See for instance: (Link): Men Become ‘Invisible’ And Lose Sex Appeal At 39 – Article from Daily Caller)

This attitude about women and women’s ages varies from person to person, and from decade to decade.

I remember when I was a kid, age 40 was thought to be a little on the “old” side – not by me personally, but by the wider culture, the TV shows, magazines, newspapers, people in their 20s and maybe 30s at the time.

(Starting when I was around age eight, I began reading the newspaper almost daily, even the front section, that had the political and cultural news, and I watched the evening news with my father every night. That’s how I can say with confidence I’m pretty well attuned to how people viewed things back then.)

In the last few years, sexist PUA and MRA guys have said a woman’s expiration date is age 25, while others of them say no, it’s 30, while others might say 35. Of course, all of them overlook the fact that women do not even have an expiration date to start with.

That none of these males can agree with each other on when a woman supposedly loses her hotness testifies to the truth that it’s all bogus.

Even in the sub-heading of this nauseating editorial, it is stated from the out-set,

    In our occasional ranking of the ages, we found that this year’s most alluring is not what you’d expect. It’s not 27 (honored in 1999) or 39 (2008) or 86 (1937 and 1983). No, this year it’s 42. Because it’s not what it used to be.

You might be tempted to think, well, if that is so, if this magazine is honoring 40 something women, wouldn’t you be thrilled that a magazine is writing an editorial saying that 40 something women are no longer considered old, past their prime, or old hags? No, not entirely.

Because the editorial is condescending, and the author, Tom Junod, says insulting things, such as, a woman’s beauty is fading when she is in her 40s (no, it’s not).

This reminds me of an editorial at a Christian site, by a married man, who tried to reassure adult singles that we are fine dandy dan just they way we are.

I appreciate that the Christian author was trying to be helpful or compassionate to older singles, but the condescending attitude was more of a put down (read that page here: (Link): Oh geeze. Another married Christian condescendingly patting single Christians on the head, reassuring them they are dandy as-is, and to remember they have the fictional Gift of Singleness)

It’s the same thing with this editorial. The male author, who is 55 or 56 years old, says he would gladly have sex with a 42 year old woman.

I saw photos of this guy at Gawker, and I find him terribly unattractive. I am in my early 40s, fit, attractive, and I would not give him the time of day. What on earth makes him think I’d want to do him, out of gratitude that he says he finds women of my age still attractive? No, no, no. That is condescending.

As an author at Gawker summarized the Esquire editorial:

(Link): Esquire Writers: We’re Willing to Fuck Early Middle-Aged Ladies, (from Gawker)

The original ed is here:
(Link): IN PRAISE OF 42-YEAR-OLD WOMEN, by Tom Junod (on Esquire’s site)

Yeah, see, I don’t need a dude more than ten years my age reassuring me I’m fine as I am. I already know I’m fine as I am.

Here’s the intro:

    by Tom Junod
    Published in the August 2014 issue

    Let’s face it: There used to be something tragic about even the most beautiful forty-two-year-old woman.

    With half her life still ahead of her, she was deemed to be at the end of something—namely, everything society valued in her, other than her success as a mother.

    If she remained sexual, she was either predatory or desperate; if she remained beautiful, what gave her beauty force was the fact of its fading. And if she remained alone… well, then God help her.

From the Gawker author’s take on Junod’s editorial:

    Esquire magazine (Motto: “The Inactive Ingredients of Erection Pills, in Magazine Form”) has a very important message to all the 42-year-old women out there: Esquire writer at large Tom Junod might like to fuck you.

    That’s right, ladies of a certain age (42). Tom Junod has decided you may still be hot.

    This was not always the case. Once upon a time, 42-year-old women were not really worth wanting to fuck, or if Tom Junod did want to fuck one, it made him sad.

    [snip Juno intro]

    Now, though? Now 42 is awesome. Tom Junod can name several famous women who are 42 who he would be willing to fuck. Right in their 42-year-old vaginas. Cameron Diaz. Sofia Vergara. Leslie Mann. Amy Poehler.

    He would fuck these women, despite their age, and even share a joke with them, because the 42-year-old woman, she is a person, or at least a person-like idea:

    [Gawker author quoting Junod]:
    It is no accident that every woman mentioned here has comic as well as carnal appeal, and entices with the promise of lust with laughs.

But it’s not all easy. Being sexually attractive to Tom Junod at the age of 42 is a real job:

    [Gawker author quoting Junod]:
    Of course, they have to work for their advantage; they have armored themselves with yoga and Pilates even as they joke about the spectacle.

    Still, what has made them figures of fantasy is not that they have redefined the ideals of female strength but rather their own vulnerabilities.

    Go to a party: There is simply no one as unclothed as a forty-two-year-old woman in a summer dress. For all her toughness, and humor, and smarts, you know exactly what she looks like, without the advantage of knowing who she is.

Were you afraid you might go to a summer party, as a 42-year-old woman, and not have a magazine writer mentally appraise what you would look like without your clothing on? Fear not (as long as you’ve been doing yoga and Pilates)—Tom Junod is so thoroughly prepared to undress you with his mind, you’re already naked.

What accounts for society’s and Esquire’s sudden tolerance of women of this age, 42? Tom Junod, according to Wikipedia, was born in the Eisenhower Administration, and is currently either 55 or 56 years old. Nevertheless, Tom Junod is gracious enough to admit he’s capable of wanting to fuck women who are within 13 or 14 years of his own age.

I, myself, by coincidence, am 42 years old right now. But I am male. As such, I would like to follow Tom Junod’s lead and reassure all the 28-year-old women of the world that I do not believe their advanced years should render them sexually unattractive to me.

Or maybe he’s using a percentage, rather than a spread of years. Tom Junod is willing to entertain the thought of intimate relations with women all the way up to 75 percent of his own age.

Tom Junod, age 21, cruises into the high school parking lot to tell the 15-year-olds they’re still OK. (He shakes his head at Sweet Sixteen parties, though.)

Tom Junod, age 30, is ready to consider dating a summer intern in his office, even if she has already finished college. Tom Junod, age 85, tells a 63-year-old woman not to worry, she’s still got a little something going on, in his eyes.

It boils down to feminism, you see:

    [Gawker author quoting Junod]:
    A few generations ago, a woman turning forty-two was expected to voluntarily accept the shackles of biology and convention; now it seems there is no one in our society quite so determined to be free.

    Conservatives still attack feminism with the absurd notion that it makes its adherents less attractive to men; in truth, it is feminism that has made forty-two-year-old women so desirable.

This is what it was all about, ladies.

But Tom Junod is, after all, only one man. You may be asking yourselves: Do other men also want to fuck 42-year-old women? Do they ever!

There’s a double feature playing at the Esquire Drive-In, and the second show is by Stephen Marche, who is not quite even 40 yet. Guess what?

    [Gawker author quoting Marche]:
    Women who are 42 are grown-ups, they are in control of their own lives, or as in control of their own lives as they are going to be anyway, and it is altogether good that American men desire women in this state. Desirability and self-possession should go together.

Marche, though, is not sure this is so nice. He is writing to express the fact that he is uncomfortable about the use of the term “MILF,” when applied to these 42-year-old targets of male desire.

Why? Possibly because it is a porn indexing term, inherently and exclusively used to objectify women? Well, yes, but no. The fact that “MILF” is a popular pornographic search term, to Marche, indicates not that it is a constructed concept, which is shaping men’s sexual expectations, but the opposite—that it reflects some deeper or prior impulse. You can ((( click here ))) to read the rest.

No, I don’t find it flattering or reassuring that a wrinkly looking 55 year old writes an editorial telling women of my age he’d still like to boink me.

The guy who wrote this travesty apparently thinks this is a one way street, where only men are visual and only men care about what a person looks like. Wrong! Women are visual and care about when men look like.

I find that condescending on so many different levels, that for one, he assumes I’d find him handsome or charming enough to want to boink back (and the answer to both is no, I don’t).

I don’t need anyone reassuring me it’s okay to be 40-something. I already know that. Trying to convince me it’s okay is actually insulting in a way.

Here are a few of the reader comments from Gawker that were underneath this article:

by NoLackawannaTom Scocca
Yesterday 8:04pm
I find it sadly comical that men— aging, fat, balding— always think they can attract women half their age. (Actually, they often can—if they’re rich or famous or both.)
I wonder if they ever considered that some hot, beautiful women ten years older than them would drink battery acid before they would fuck them.

by baddoggy
Thursday 2:05pm
This is fucking jaw dropping.

It takes a lot to get a rise out of me but this Tom Junod guy has hit a spot I didn’t know was there. I’m a 40 year old male and this sickens me.

This guy is disgusting.
I couldn’t even finish the article.

The parts I did read made me puke in my mouth a little bit. He’s what? 55 or 56? So who in the hell is he lusting after in real life? What age is the lady he’s dating or married to? Jeez.

by courtneys_keyboard
Thursday 1:58pm
What the shit is this shit.

This is nauseating to men and women. The idea that women have a sell by date is ludicrous, and the idea that men should determine who to sleep with based on chronology is moronic.

The truth is that people will sleep with almost anyone. People (mostly in Florida) will have sex with relatives, with animals, with warm soup.

The attempt to make yourself feel more successful by only copulating with what the Esquire staff considers acceptable is pretty pathetic. Fuck who you want, provided they also want you, and shut up about it.

Continue reading “Obnoxious, Condescending, Sexist, Pervy Esquire Editorial by 50-Something Year Old Man: “In Praise of 42 Year Old Women” – Condescendingly Reassures 40 Something Women He’d Sex Them Up”