views and thoughts on topics, especially ones pertaining to christianity – with an emphasis on how most christians either ignore or discriminate against unmarried christians – and how christians have turned marriage and parenting into IDOLS and how there is no true support for sexual purity, virginity, or celibacy among christians – this is a blog for me to vent; I seldom permit dissenting views. I don't debate dissenters ————-
This time of year can put a shiver up the spine of most singletons.
Yes, it’s Christmastime, and oopsy daisy, you forgot to bag yourself a partner in time for dinner with the family.
You’re armoring up for the “Why haven’t you got yourself a partner yet?” question from annoying relatives with good hearts, and the idea of waking up by yourself instead of to a boisterous house full of children and a sexy husband can seem pretty darn crappy.
Except … it’s not.
You see, we focus so much on the traditional side of Christmas, we forget that this time of year as a singleton is actually ridiculously fun.
Don’t believe me? Let me point out a few reasons why you can thank the Lord he didn’t throw your soulmate into your direct path this year.
1. Sweet, sweet freedom
Unlike partnered-up couples who are arguing about who will be designated driver, and trying to figure out whose family gets Christmas and whose gets Boxing Day, you get the glorious gift of freedom to pick and choose to do whatever the heck you want for Christmas.
The Ex Christian, Ex-Exvangelical, Now-Atheist Hits the Nail on the Head About Exvangelicals (Edit: A Left Leaning Person is Actually Saying This Post Commenting on the Frequent Hypocritical, Hateful Behavior by Leftists is Itself “Hateful” – Totally Mind-Boggling)
There is a Jan. 25, 2022 edit made to this post towards the end
I think this person, who calls herself Andy on Twitter, and says she went from being a Christian to an Ex-vangelical (also referred to as “Exvies”) to an atheist, is absolutely correct in her tweet below.
She says what I’ve been observing for a few years now with the people who post under the “Exvangelical” or “Empty The Pews” hash tags on Twitter – some of those who use these tags are ex Christians, or switched from being a conservative Christian over to being liberal or progressive.
From what I’ve seen of them – or just run of the mill liberal, leftist, or progressive Christians – they are just as hateful, nasty, critical, pious, and sanctimonious (they are so, so very sanctimonious that it’s positively nauseating) as the groups they criticize (usually conservative Christians), and in some cases even MORE SO.
I’ve mentioned this before in the context of Christian, progressive persons or groups such as Stephanie Drury’s “Stuff Christian Culture Likes” Facebook Group, I’ve had run ins with Christopher Stoop (is it Chrissy now?), and Nate Sparks.
These people tend to be just as, if not more, judgmental and condemning as the evangelical, Baptist, or fundamentalist Christians they complain about all the time on their blogs, podcasts, and social media.
Progressive Christians conflate their leftist causes and political views with the Christian faith itself all the time, yet they often criticize “white evangelicals” for voting for Trump, or for just being a Republican, or voting for, Republicans.
The progressives, for example, will dismiss any possibility that you can be a good Christian if you don’t support leftist positions such as CRT, Black Lives Matter, or biological men (“transwomen”) being permitted into women’s only spaces, etc
The hypocrisy just blows me away. And the progressives who sit around all smug mocking and judging conservative Christians are blind to this.
Not only were Andy’s observations spot on (you can read some of her Twitter comments farther below in this post), but some of the people who left her replies were also completely correct.
‘Everybody Loves Raymond’ TV Show Scene Perfectly Sums Up What It’s Like To Be Single at 40+ When You Had Wanted to Be Married
I just re-watched a re-run I had forgotten about. It really resonated – maybe not so much at the time, when I was in my 20s when it first aired, but now that I’m in my 40s and still single, like the character in the skit is, I totally relate.
I will embed the scene below in this post, that someone posted on You Tube (I so hope the video is never pulled down. Sometimes, videos are removed due to copyright infringement claims.)
“Everybody Loves Raymond” is a television situation comedy show that started around 1996. I used to watch it every week and still remember the characters and one or two of the episodes.
This show takes place, starts out, in the late 1990s, before many Americans had the internet – dating sites were still a good ways away, and cell phones didn’t really catch on until around the year 2,000 or a bit later.
Even when dating sites first came out and caught on, many singles did not want to use them.
Even up to around 2005 or so, there was a stigma attached to dating sites. If you used one at that time, you didn’t really want anyone to know, because they might think you were desperate or a loser.
I started watching “Everyone Loves Raymond” again in re-runs about two weeks ago – it comes on some of the local cable channels. If you’re like I am – single over the age of 35 and had expected and wanted to marry – you might really relate to the embedded video in this post, too.
To set it up for you if you’re not familiar with the show:
The show is about a guy named Ray who is married to Debra. Ray’s parents, Frank and Marie, live across the street from Ray and Debra.
Ray’s older brother, Robert (a.k.a. “Robbie”), is a police officer who lives with his parents – the guy was married to a woman name Joanne(?), and if I remember correctly, she won the house in their divorce. Joanne dumped Robert for a guy Robert arrested.
For a long time, Robert was too broke and too depressed to live on his own, so he lived with his parents. Eventually, Robert meets Amy, and they get married. But for a good long time, Robert, who is in his early 40s, is single, can’t seem to meet the right woman, and hates being single.
Tolerance, Compassion, and Knowing People Personally
I keep running into politically left wing types or touchie-feelie Christians (some of whom may be somewhat conservative, which surprises me) on social media who assume the reason I must oppose certain things, such as–
-Mass Muslim immigration
-Allowing biological men into women’s bathrooms and fitting rooms under transgender laws
is due to some kind of personal animosity towards these groups of people.
The reason I object to, or am concerned about, things such as mass Muslim immigration or transgender bathroom bills has NOTHING to do with personal hatred on my part towards Muslims or transgender people.
I find this so frustrating that this is assumed about me from the start, and this assumption occurs constantly on Twitter and other blogs.
If you bother to get to know me, or read many of my blog posts on this blog, or stop and ask me my feelings about things (instead of JUST ASSUMING you know why I must hold thus- and- so an opinion on a given topic), you would discover I’m pretty laid back about things, more so than the people who yell at me online.
Five Things Every Married Man Should Stop Obsessing Over Around Single Women by J. Kamps
Thank you, Jean Kamps! Kamps is one of the very few married (Christian) women I’ve seen who comprehends how terribly Christianity, especially married Christian men, treat single women – the way most to all married, Christian men ASSUME (wrongly!) that all single women are minxes out to bed any and every married man we come across.
(These married Christian men must have some ego to assume I find them attractive enough to want to boink. I don’t. Women are visual too and have sexual desire, but we don’t want to sleep with any and every man we come across.)
Often times some of the assumptions Kamps is addressing here in an article by a married Christian man, are taught under the BGR “Billy Graham Rule.” I have blogged on this topic many times before. I will put links to some of those posts at the bottom of my post, under “Related Posts.”
Love-Sick Teenager Who Won’t Take No For an Answer is Finally Shut Down by his Ex-Girlfriend’s FATHER in an Epic Text Exchange – Men of All Ages Need To Learn to Handle Rejection and to Respect Other People’s Boundaries in Dating
If there are any MEN reading this – especially men over the age of 21 – you need to realize that some of you are just as bad in your online behavior, especially on dating sites and apps, as this 15 year old kid is.
See how obnoxiously persistent this teen kid is, how he keeps dragging this exchange on and on with the teen girl’s father? This is how 90% of you men over the age of 21 behave towards grown women online, especially on dating sites.
You men refuse to take “no” from women for an answer, or to choose to view a woman turning you down as the ultimate insult.
You men take rejection by women far too personally, and send negative, nasty, insulting comments to some women, all for merely politely turning you down on a site, for refusing to give you their number, or going on a date with you.
Women you don’t know (single women) don’t owe you squat in life – women don’t owe you a smile, flirtation, chit chat, their phone numbers, sex, emotional support, or dates.
You will be turned down as you go through life by various women you flirt with or ask on dates – it’s a reality. Get over it. Learn to let go, accept defeat graciously, and stop taking it so damn personally.
Learn to respect other people’s boundaries. If a woman or girl tells you “no” or “not interested,” just let it go. Don’t send the girl or woman nasty, insulting messages if or when she turns you down. Just move along.
Advances in technology, and the urge to express ourselves as loudly as possible, mean rejection has never been so easy to dole out. Swiping left on Tinder, blocking on Twitter, marching to the polling booth: a firm no is never far away, but the bitter sting never fails to shock.
We’ve witnessed an unusually high level of public rejection over the last few turbulent weeks, from politicians discovering their posses were lacking compadres and feeling their ambition turn to ash in their mouths, to the much-maligned EU, sadly opening its Dear John letter from 52% of the UK, all calls going straight to voicemail.
Rejection can teach you a lot about yourself and those around you. “No” may never be music to your ears, but you can learn to take it with dignity. Or, at the very least, store up ample fuel for your revenge.
….On a dating app
“Why don’t they love me?” I’d cry when I was single, throwing myself on to a fainting couch whenever someone I’d contacted didn’t reciprocate.
WashPost Columnist: ‘Ghostbusters’ Haters Are ‘Virgin Losers’ – (via NewsBusters Site); Both the Right and Left Wing Get Some things Wrong About This
This story comes from NewsBusters, which is discussing a column written for Washington Post newspaper by columnist Kristen Page-Kirby about the new Ghostbusters movie.
The original Ghostbusters movie, released in the 1980s, contained four male leads. The reboot version of the movie, which was released July 15, 2016, contains four women leads instead.
Unfortunately, over a year or more ago, when news came out that there would be four women leads in the film, some of the sexist jerkwads who inhabit the internet started lambasting the movie all over You Tube, Twitter, and where ever else – not because the move was bad (it wasn’t even released yet), but because they were incensed that Hollywood was cramming some form of feminism down their throats.
Interestingly, I didn’t see as much backlash over the main character of the new Star Wars film, “Star Wars: The Force Awakens” being a woman – Rey.
At any rate, I will be discussing two or three different topics in this post that are related to this new film, or mentioned by the conservative essayist at the NewsBusters site.
This is another story where I am in the middle. I can’t say as though I’m completely on one side or another in regards to some aspects of this story, depending on what is under discussion.
I am currently a moderate right-winger (I used to be more to the right than I am currently. In the last few years, I’ve been reconsidering if some of my former political and Christian beliefs are wrong.)
I’ve been more open the last few years to hearing the criticisms and views of liberals and Non-Christians – which is not to say I agree with everything I see left wingers and Non-Christians espousing or arguing in favor of.
I sometimes think secular, liberal feminists have good points on some topics, but I normally disagree with them.
As far as the Ghostbusters film reboot is concerned, I do think some of the backlash against the movie does in fact stem from sexism. But then, I do think some people may honestly feel that the movie is genuinely bad due to having a poor story line, or what have you.
I have not seen the movie yet. I don’t go to movie theaters that much anymore.
I usually wait until movies air on cable television; I’m willing to bet that this Ghostbusters reboot will probably be shown on F/X channel, or SyFy, or some other cable network in the next two years, and I have cable television, so I don’t know if I want to invest my time and cash into driving down to a theater to see this, since it will eventually be on television.
I saw the original Ghostbusters in a movie theater when it was in theaters in the 1980s. I was a kid at the time.
The original was okay, it was quite enjoyable and plenty of fun, but it was no movie masterpiece, so to all the men online who were griping about the reboot featuring all women leads: get the hell over it already.
And yes, you were, or are, being sexist douche bags about it. I don’t buy for a moment that ALL male griping about the film is based on non-sexist reasons, like shoddy trailers, or supposed poor CG work.
The vast majority of the professional reviews (and I have read a ton of them) for the new Ghostbusters film have deemed it “okay.” -Not terrible. Not great. But just “meh.” It’s so-so, most reviews have said.
What I don’t appreciate is that the columnist for WaPo who was discussing male backlash about the movie is using virginity as an insult.
Article on Christian Site Gives Advice to Christian Landlords on How to Discriminate Against Single Adult Renters
This page reads like one big, long “how to” on how Christian landlords can get around laws to discriminate against unmarried adults. I am not so sure I am in agreement with this.
I realize that the Bible does not support hetero pre-marital sex, but I don’t know if I can support the idea of Christians wanting to bar adult singles from renting from them, on the off chance they may fornicate while renting – the Bible says in 1 Corinthians 7 it is better to stay single than to marry. It would seem to me that it would therefore be unbiblical for a Christian landlord to refuse to rent to a single adult based on his or her single status.
By the way, I have a collection of links on (Link): one page of this blog of married Christian couples who engaged in sexual sin, in some cases arrested for it (e.g., pedophilia, raping people, etc).
As both a devout Christian and a property owner, working within the confines of the law can sometimes mean going against your personal religious beliefs. Where can we draw the line?
Here’s what Christian landlords need to know:
Fair Housing and Equal Opportunity
Under the Federal Fair Housing Act, which was passedin 1968, landlords (Link): cannot refuse to discriminatebased on certain identity markers – including race, color, religion, sex, or national origin. The law would be further amended in 1989 to prohibit discrimination based on disability or familial status.
In this case, familial status refers specifically to pregnant women and/or the presence of children under the age of 18 – including single parents with children.
An example of the Fair Housing Act in action is one, somewhat bizarre, case from 2011, in which a Wisconsin landlord (Link): refused to rent a property to a single mother because there was no man “to shovel the snow.” The landlord was subsequently sued by the Department of Housing and Urban Development.
I’m a PANK. Yeah, you’re reading that right. I’m a PANK, a Professional Aunt No Kids.
….I recently shared something on my personal Facebook page that reads, “I’m tired of hearing, ‘When are you going to get married and have kids?’ Let me tell you, I could have done that already and chose not to.
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