Single, Virgin Women Do Not Have Another Standard by Which to Be Saved, Contra Complementarian Group CBMW

Single, Virgin Women Do Not Have Another Standard by Which to Be Saved, Contra Complementarian Group CBMW

The Bible does teach that people should remain virgins until marriage, but oddly, some Christians do things like omit men from this teaching (as though virginity applies only to women).

In this case, they seem to be conflating being single, and a virgin, with receiving salvation, as though there’s some other standard by which others are saved. Christians also frequently make much too much out of the marriage analogy, in which they pretty much seem to suggest that a person has to be married (and having sex) to truly know God or be in relationship with God.

Via the Biblical Personhood blog:

(Link): Is “Biblical” manhood and womanhood compatible with the gospel of Christ?

The Biblical Personhood blog reproduces this quote from a Council for Biblical Manhood and Womanhood resource:

[from complementarian, CBMW, material:]

48. How can a Christian single woman enter into the mystery of Christ and the Church if she never experiences marriage?
[Their answer promotes offering your virginity to God. Nothing about becoming a Christian.] – CBMW, “Fifty Crucial Questions, Question 48

… The mystery of Christ and the church, likewise, is not about marriage or celibacy. Jesus loved you – male or female, single or married or divorced or widowed – first. Know you are loved by God, love God back, experience God’s love, and see how it never ends, and how it changes you to live for Him.

Continue reading “Single, Virgin Women Do Not Have Another Standard by Which to Be Saved, Contra Complementarian Group CBMW”

The Rise Of Born-Again Virgins by L. Barr

The Rise of The Born-Again Virgin

This is actually a rather old topic. I’ve discussed it in older posts such as (Link) this one.

I’m not a big fan of this “Born Again Virgin” terminology.

Regarding consensual sex (yes, I said consensual, because anti-Sexual Purity types always want to conflate or confuse consensual sex with sexual assault in order to dismiss the entire concept of sexual purity), either one is a virgin or is not.

If you’ve had consensual sex previously but are abstaining afterwards, I think the word “celibate” would be suitable and acceptable. You’re certainly not a “virgin” and so should not go by the “born again” term.

The Rise Of Born-Again Virgins by L. Barr

Miranda Kerr and Ciara aren’t alone – here’s why more women are skipping sex, pre-marriage.

…We’re not talking surgical reconstruction of the hymen here. Becoming a born again virgin isn’t a physical concept, it’s more a conscious decision to abstain from sex until you’re married. Essentially, it’s free virginity pass, even if you’ve already done the deed a plenty, or in Kerr’s case, had a child.

…Meanwhile back in 2008, Mariah Carey and Nick Cannon also declared their abstinence. “We both have similar beliefs, and I just thought that it would be so much more special if we waited until after we were married,” said Carey at the time. She divorced Cannon in 2014. Plus sized, supermodel Ashley Graham says she’d “sowed her oats” so she decided to wait until after she married her husband, Justin Ervin. When US songstress Ciara, who has a son with the rapper Future, got together with now-husband and Seattle Seahawks Quarterback, Russell Wilson, he proudly told the world they had decided not to have sex before their marriage.

‘I’m happier not hooking up’

However, it is not just celebrities that are abstaining from physical intimacy. Jo, a 28-year-old single, retail manager from Melbourne, relates to their desire to wait.

She has put the breaks on all sexual relationships until she’s found a man whose willing to put a ring on it.

Continue reading “The Rise Of Born-Again Virgins by L. Barr”

Past Sin Does Not Make You A Better Spiritual Leader by P. Cooke

Past Sin Does Not Make You A Better Spiritual Leader by P Cooke

I’d say that this guy’s claim for pastoral sin in general is also very true for sexual sin in particular – sexual sin by anyone and everyone, that is, and not just pastoral sexual sin.

As I’ve blogged about before, rather than hiring celibate or virgin adults to give discussions or lectures about virginity and sexuality to teen-agers or in churches, most Christians oddly opt to get a known fornicator who claims to be a “born again” celibate to offer lectures, sermons, and to be guest speakers.

The assumption by Christians seems to be that if an adult has fornicated and now claims to be celibate that he or she is more qualified or more relatable to people than a virgin adult who is past the age of 25.

This seems like backwards thinking to me: you should want to hear from the man or woman who is over the age of 25 who has maintained their virginity and walked the walk, not the guy or woman who failed at it, who had sex prior to marriage but who now claims to be celibate.

Contrary to what many Christians and Non-Christians think, controlling one’s libido over a lifetime, and hence remaining a virgin into one’s 30s, 40s, or older, is not a heroic or an impossible task.

(Link):  Past Sin Does Not Make You A Better Spiritual Leader by P Cooke

Excerpts

In many cases I’ve encountered, that shortcut comes from the idea that because they’ve [preachers have] morally fallen in a particular way, they’re now more sensitive and understanding to those in the congregation who have experienced something similar.

Continue reading “Past Sin Does Not Make You A Better Spiritual Leader by P. Cooke”

Newlyweds Forced to Be Celibate After Bride Diagnosed With Cervical Cancer Just Days After Honeymoon

Newlyweds Forced to Be Celibate After Bride Diagnosed With Cervical Cancer Just Days After Honeymoon

I hope this woman’s health recovers. (The link to the news story about this woman and her husband is much farther below. I wanted to make a few observations first.)

Growing up, I often heard or read Christians say that if one remains a virgin until marriage, that the married sex will be regular and great – I never once heard Christians discuss the possibility of a sexless marriage, where at least one partner does not want to have sex, or cannot (due to health problems, job stress, or what have you).

A lot of people, Christians certainly included, mistakenly think that sexual sin is the province ONLY of adult singles.

Therefore, Christian sermons and materials rarely discuss the possibility that married persons may have affairs, use prostitutes or pornography. Christians tend to teach that sexual purity (including chastity and celibacy) are only for adult singles, even though the Bible teaches that sexual purity is also expected of married persons.

Many Christians are in error to assume that the “marry if you don’t want to burn in lust” verse, as written by Paul, should be translated to mean, “Married persons will never commit sexual sins once they marry.”

The only sexual sin marriage takes care of is pre-marital sex.

Obviously, if two people marry and have sex with each other after marriage, their sex is not fornication (pre-marital sex). However, I have example after example on my blog (especially in the “sex sins by married couples one stop thread”) of married couples who use porn, hire call girls, molest kids, have affairs, etc.

There is nothing intrinsic about being married that makes sexual sin impossible.

A married man may still view porn, rape little kids, or have affairs on his wife. Being married is not a fail-safe or guarantee measure of sexual purity, but many Christians continue to act as though it is.

Sexual sin is therefore generally associated by many Christians with ADULT SINGLENESS (with the state of being single), so that single women (such as myself) are ostracized by the Christian community  (often under the Billy Graham Rule) as being “sexual temptresses,” although we are still virgins over the age of 35.

I, as a virgin adult woman, am ostracized and penalized by other Christians for something I have not even done (ie, had sex with a married man) – Christians just assume because I am single and female that I will want to lure a married man into bed. It is a very offensive view point that is common in churches and among Christians.

(Link): These newlyweds were forced to be celibate after bride was diagnosed with cervical cancer just days after honeymoon

Talking With Both Daughters and Sons About Sex – article via NY Times

Talking With Both Daughters and Sons About Sex

You will notice that this study which is mentioned below describes how sexual stereotypes influence how parents teach their kids about sex: daughters (girls) are encouraged to be abstinent and to delay sex, but not boys.

I see this same exact (sexist) pattern among Christian families: Christians buy into secular stereotypes that girls should be as sexually pure as the freshly driven snow and Christians wrongly assume females lack a libido, but males are assumed to be sex-starved horn-dogs who lack control, and boys are not generally expected to remain celibate.

Ergo, females are taught in Christian sermons and other Christian content to sexually abstain. Christian boys don’t generally receive as much pressure or sermonizing on abstaining. There may be something “off” about Christian teachings about sex, since they are mirroring secular cultural assumptions about gender and sex in these matters.

On the other hand, regarding other (non sexual) topics, I can see how Christians might BENEFIT (or, ironically, be MORE in line with the Bible) if they went along with secular mores instead of with their incorrect biblical interpretation of some topics. But on this issue, they sound quite similar to secular culture, and are off they mark, I believe.

(Link): Talking With Both Daughters and Sons About Sex – via the New York Times

Excerpts:

Woman Says She’s Been in Three Year Marriage that Has Not Been Consummated, Wants Advice

Woman Says She’s Been in Three Year Marriage that Has Not Been Consummated, Wants Advice

A letter or e-mail was sent from a lady to a Christian show called “700 Club” saying she married her husband three years ago, but the marriage has never been consummated.

I am not certain, but I believe this particular “Bring It On” segment in which this issue was addressed was aired on January 10, 2017.

I don’t think 700 Club has uploaded that episode yet. If or when they do, you can view it by going to their “Bring It On” You Tube channel (Link): here.

Edit: Okay, the video I am discussing can be viewed (Link): here (Sexless Marriage letter). It is the second or third letter on the video.

They may later upload it to the (Link): 700 Club Bring It On Video Page.

Edit. (Link): Same Video with Sexless Marriage Letter on 700 Club Site

The show host, Pat Robertson, basically told her to divorce the guy.

Continue reading “Woman Says She’s Been in Three Year Marriage that Has Not Been Consummated, Wants Advice”

Washington Post Editorial by Ruth Everhart: Virgin Mary Offends Rape Victims By Her Purity – and Re: Internalized Misogyny or Sexism

Washington Post Editorial by Ruth Everhart: Virgin Mary Offends Rape Victims By Her Purity

This anti-Purity Culture crusade has taken on new insane heights.

Sexual assault victims who write anti-Purity editorials keep confusing the issues of consensual sex with rape and wanting to toss out all of sexual purity teachings, which is in error. I have written of this phenomenon before, such as:

(Link): Confusing Sexual Assault and Sexual Abuse with Consensual Sex and Then Condemning Sexual Purity Teachings – and other, related topics

Related content by another author:

(Link):  We’re Casual About Sex and Serious About Consent. But Is It Working? by J. Zimmerman

Whether you like it or not, the Bible does say that Mary was a virgin, and that being a virgin is expected of both sexes unless or until a person marries.

I am over 40 yeas of age and am still a virgin – and I’m a woman. I was engaged to a man for a few years in my early 30s and had an opportunity to fornicate, but I resolved to wait until marriage. I broke things off with my ex and remain single to this day.

I do not appreciate anti-Virginity editorialists besmirching my choice to sexually abstain by belittling virginity itself, or by attributing my choice (made of my own free will) to “patriarchy.”

First, here are the pertinent links with excerpts, and I will resume my commentary below:

(Link): Our culture of purity celebrates the Virgin Mary. As a rape victim, that hurts me by Ruth Everhart, Dec 2016, Washington Post

Some guy wrote a brief rebuttal of sorts to that editorial:

(Link): Washington Post Editorial: Virgin Mary Offends Rape Victims By Her Purity

by THOMAS D. WILLIAMS, PH.D.
8 Dec 2016

In an article (Link): titled, “Our culture of purity celebrates the Virgin Mary. As a rape victim, that hurts me,” Ruth Everhart explains that especially in the Advent lead-up to Christmas, Mary becomes a problem for many Christians because of her pristine purity.

Mary “set an impossibly high bar,” Everhart writes. “Now the rest of us are stuck trying to be both a virgin and a mother at the same time.”

As a rape victim, this has been especially difficult for the author, she says, which led to her becoming a pastor, in order “to come to terms with Mary’s story.”

Everhart writes that she doesn’t blame her sense of ruin “entirely” on the Virgin Mary. In fact, it isn’t really Mary’s fault, she states; it’s the Church’s for manipulating Mary into a model of purity.

Continue reading “Washington Post Editorial by Ruth Everhart: Virgin Mary Offends Rape Victims By Her Purity – and Re: Internalized Misogyny or Sexism”

The Ideal Boyfriend Revealed: Women Love ‘Quietly Confident’ Men Who WAIT for Sex (and Detest Alpha Males)

The Ideal Boyfriend Revealed: Women Love ‘Quietly Confident’ Men Who WAIT for Sex (and Detest Alpha Males)

(Link): The ideal boyfriend revealed: Women love ‘quietly confident’ men who WAIT for sex (and detest alpha males)

by Karen Ruiz

  • Hundreds of women took to Reddit to reveal ‘rare’ qualities they look for in men
  • Many revealed they prefer men who are not afraid to show femininity 
  • Some men admitted they wish they could embrace their feminine side publicly  
  • Other responses include ‘quiet confidence’ and intelligence  
  • Women have revealed the qualities they look for in a potential partner – and it seems that the quintessential alpha male is out of fashion.

    The revelations were made in a (Link): Reddit thread asking women to name the ‘hard to find’ quality they’re attracted to, and a large proportion of the 800 replies revealed that a man who is in touch with his feminine side is top of the list.

    Others chimed in to mention traits such as ‘quiet confidence’ and intelligence, while being willing to wait before having sex for the first time is also a desirable trait.

Continue reading “The Ideal Boyfriend Revealed: Women Love ‘Quietly Confident’ Men Who WAIT for Sex (and Detest Alpha Males)”

Why Sexual Desire is Objectifying and Hence Morally Wrong by R. Halwani

Why Sexual Desire is Objectifying and Hence Morally Wrong by R. Halwani

I’m not sure if I agree or disagree with this. I just thought it would be interesting for this blog.

(Link): Why Sexual Desire is Objectifying and Hence Morally Wrong by R. Halwani

Excerpts:

Once desire becomes suspect, sex is never far behind. [8th-century philosopher Immanuel] Kant implicitly acknowledged the unusual power of sexual urges and their capacity to divert us from doing what is right.

He claimed that sex was particularly morally condemnable, because lust focuses on the body, not the agency, of those we sexually desire, and so reduces them to mere things. It makes us see the objects of our longing as just that ­– objects. In so doing, we see them as mere tools for our own satisfaction.

Treating people as objects can mean many things. It could include beating them, tearing into them, and violating them. But there are other, less violent ways of objectifying people.

We might treat someone as only a means to our sexual pleasure, to satisfy our lust on that person, to use a somewhat archaic expression. The fact that the other person consents does not get rid of the objectification; two people can agree to use one another for purely sexual purposes.

…Sex, though, is different.

Continue reading “Why Sexual Desire is Objectifying and Hence Morally Wrong by R. Halwani”

CDC Report: Virgin Teens Much Healthier Than Their Sexually Active Peers (2016 Report)

CDC Report: Virgin Teens Much Healthier Than Their Sexually Active Peers (2016 Report)

Oh no. Just look at the CDC being a bunch of slut shamers!

How dare the CDC point out there are any benefits to sexually abstaining – because this just ruins some of the liberal, left wing, secular feminist talking points and probably gets the Anti-Purity Culture Crusaders upset (note: I do agree there are some problems with Purity Culture teachings, but unlike most of those who rant against it, I don’t think the Bible teaches that God is a-ok with pre-marital sex.)

(Link): CDC Report: Virgin Teens Much Healthier Than Their Sexually Active Peers

BY BRANDON SHOWALTER , CP REPORTER

Dec 6, 2016 | 9:06 AM
A new Centers for Disease Control study examines teenage health behaviors in connection to their self-reported sexual activity and shows those who remain abstinent are much healthier on many fronts than their sexually active peers.
The (Link): report [which is a PDF document NOT an HTML one], titled “Sexual Identity, Sexual Contacts, and Health-Related Behaviors Among Students in Grades 9-12, United States and Selected Sites,” showcased the results from a 2015 survey that monitored several categories of health-related behaviors like tobacco usage, drug and alcohol use, sexual habits, unhealthy dietary behaviors, and behaviors that contribute to unintentional injuries and violence.The report concludes “that students who had no sexual contact have a much lower prevalance of most health-risk behaviors compared with students” who had sexual contact…..With regard to smoking, teenage virgins are 3,300 percent less likely to smoke daily than their peers who are sexually involved with someone of the opposite sex, Stanton computed from the report’s data.Teen virgins are 9,500 percent less likely to smoke daily than their peers who are sexually involved with someone of the same sex or in a bisexual relationship, he added.

Continue reading “CDC Report: Virgin Teens Much Healthier Than Their Sexually Active Peers (2016 Report)”

For Japan’s ‘Stranded Singles’, Virtual Love Beats the Real Thing

For Japan’s ‘Stranded Singles’, Virtual Love Beats the Real Thing

(Link): For Japan’s ‘Stranded Singles’, Virtual Love Beats the Real Thing

Excerpts:

Multimillion-pound industry caters for young people enamoured of fictional computer characters


Japan’s apparently waning interest in true love is creating not just a marriage crisis but a relationship crisis, leading young people to forgo finding a partner and resort to falling for fictional characters in online and video games.

New figures show that more than 70% of unmarried Japanese men and 75% of women have never had any sexual experience by the time they reach 20, though that drops to almost 50% for each gender by the time they reach 25.

According to Professor Masahiro Yamada, a sociologist at Chuo University in Tokyo, who has coined the phrase “stranded singles” for the phenomenon, the rise in virginity rates is matched by a rise in the lack of interest in having any kind of “real” relationship.

Continue reading “For Japan’s ‘Stranded Singles’, Virtual Love Beats the Real Thing”

‘She’s a traditional girl’: Singer Mariah Carey ‘refused to sleep with ex-fiancé James Packer before marriage’ as it’s claimed they ‘slept in separate beds’

‘She’s a traditional girl’: Mariah Carey ‘refused to sleep with ex-fiancé James Packer before marriage’ as it’s claimed they ‘slept in separate beds’

I don’t know how true this is, but it fits one of several themes I blog about on a recurrent basis…

If this is true, good for Mariah Carey for sticking to her values and personal convictions.

(Mariah Carey is a pop singer who has had a lot of hit songs since the 1990s.)

(Link): ‘She’s a traditional girl’: Mariah Carey ‘refused to sleep with ex-fiancé James Packer before marriage’ as it’s claimed they ‘slept in separate beds’

Oct 29, 2016

  • Mariah’s alleged no sex before marriage rule refutes claims she had an affair with choreographer, Bryan Tanaka
  • Singer still sporting $10 million engagement ring
  • Packer and Mariah have not seen each other in over a month
  • They had a dramatic fight while holidaying in Greece in September

Her ex-husband Nick Cannon previously revealed that they did not sleep together until their wedding night.

Continue reading “‘She’s a traditional girl’: Singer Mariah Carey ‘refused to sleep with ex-fiancé James Packer before marriage’ as it’s claimed they ‘slept in separate beds’”

Christian Abstinence Speaker Forces Girl Students to Hear Mandatory Sexual Purity Message While Boys Excused

Christian Abstinence Speaker Forces Girl Students to Hear Mandatory Sexual Purity Message While Boys Excused

I am not opposed to Christians teaching their kids about the benefits or moral basis of remaining a virgin until marriage. I do believe the Bible teaches that position, actually.

However, I do take issue with the fact that Christians almost always emphasize staying a virgin for girls but not for boys. That seems to be the case here.

That the boys were excused for a sexual abstinence message is, in my view, incredibly sexist and sends the wrong message – both to boys and girls. This sort of thing also makes Christians look like backwards, sexist rednecks to the Non-Christians who blogged about this to mock it or criticize it – which they have.

I do think there is at least one possible positive: at least the teen girls are hearing that staying a virgin is a viable option.

Where-as many secular feminists and liberals are always mocking virginity and celibacy, so that they make young girls (and even older women) feel as though they MUST have sex or there is something wrong with them if they are not having sex, or if they don’t want to have sex.

Contrary to what ths Henning guy says, it’s not true that men have higher sex drives than women or are more visually stimulated than women, so Henning can drop that from his materials. God did not “wire men to be more sexual” than women. (I’ve done other blog posts on those topics before, so I’m not going to get into that here.)

It’s not a girl or woman’s responsibility to dress in such a way that a boy or man does not feel aroused, as Henning claims. Each boy and man is capable of controlling himself, regardless of how a girl or woman is dressed. Christians: stop making females responsible for the sexual sins and failings of males – even the Bible does not do this.

(Link):  School Makes Girls Attend Christian’s Abstinence Lecture

Oct 20, 2016

by Mike Allen

Payson High School in Arizona recently required girls to attend an assembly about sexual abstinence, while the boys were given the option to attend, or not attend, an assembly on dating.

Continue reading “Christian Abstinence Speaker Forces Girl Students to Hear Mandatory Sexual Purity Message While Boys Excused”

I Probably Wouldn’t Be Discussing My Sexual Choices If Other People Would Shut Up About Theirs

I Probably Wouldn’t Be Discussing My Sexual Choices If Other People Would Shut Up About Theirs

I suppose my main basis for having started this blog a few years ago is that I am single and was wanting to get married, and I couldn’t figure out why I was still single – then I thought back, reflected, on how most churches ignore or disrespect single adults merely for being single. And I was not seeing this discussed much, or not consistently, on Christian sites.

But then I also started noticing how most people, Christians included, are terribly rude and disrespectful, towards people who are not having sex.

I just wanted to say I probably would not have started this blog about being a celibate adult (and being single), or write about celibacy as much as I did, if the church and most of society would shut up about sex and marriage.

I’m not the kind of person who goes around blabbing about her sexual status to people – certainly not announcing it all over the place, or not to friends or co-workers.

Continue reading “I Probably Wouldn’t Be Discussing My Sexual Choices If Other People Would Shut Up About Theirs”

Standard Christian View About Sex is Actually Creating Controversy: “Major Ministry Will Fire Employees Who Don’t Believe That Sex Is Only For Married Straight Couples”

Standard Christian View About Sex is Actually Creating Controversy: “Major Ministry Will Fire Employees Who Don’t Believe That Sex Is Only For Married Straight Couples”

(I have edited this post a few times to add additional thoughts – there is also a December 2016 update below in regards to the left wing BuzzFeed and ‘Stuff Christian Culture Likes’ witch hunt story about HGTV hosts Chip and Joanna Gaines)


Among some progressive Christians or progressive Christian groups, this news story was quite the controversy about a week ago when it was first published.

I read in another news source that IV (InterVarsity) says that their position on these issues has been misunderstood.

I have some more comments to make under the excerpts here:

(Link): Major Ministry Will Fire Employees Who Don’t Believe That Sex Is Only For Married Straight Couples

Excerpts:

A Christian organization that leads student religious groups on more than 600 college campuses will fire any of its 1,300 employees who say they do not agree with the organization’s theological interpretation on sex: that it is only appropriate within a heterosexual marriage.

That means that any InterVarsity Christian Fellowship employees who believe that churches should perform gay weddings, who endorse sex before marriage, who condone pornography or who hold any number of other beliefs might be included in what the evangelical organization calls “involuntary termination.”

Coming from a major evangelical institution, the policy revives debate about how churches should handle questions of sexuality and who can define themselves as evangelicals.

In an interview with The Washington Post on Friday, the ministry’s vice president Greg Jao said that since InterVarsity employees teach college students about biblical views, it is imperative that they share the same beliefs. Four or five people have been fired so far, and he expects more to follow in the next month.

Continue reading “Standard Christian View About Sex is Actually Creating Controversy: “Major Ministry Will Fire Employees Who Don’t Believe That Sex Is Only For Married Straight Couples””

“Jesus Didn’t Die to Save My Hymen” Declares An Anti-Sexual Purity Advocate – My Response

“Jesus Didn’t Die to Save My Hymen” Declares An Anti-Sexual Purity Advocate – My Response

I have addressed topics similar to this before on my blog, so instead of re-hashing all my previous points and arguments, I may just link you to a few of my older posts farther below.

(I should perhaps mention that I’ve had a long day today, am very tired, and currently have a bad headache, so I am not in top form to compose a post right now.)

Here’s the impetus behind this post:

I was reading through my Twitter feed today and saw a post where Janet Mefferd, Christian radio host, shared a comment about how an anti-Sexual Purity article Tweeted by Christian site ‘Relevant’ was Gnostic in nature, in that it talked about ‘sexual soul purity’ vs. ‘sexual bodily purity.’

You can read Mrs. Mefferd’s Tweet (Link): here, with some responses by me below it.

Where-upon an anti-Sexual Purity advocate I follow on Twitter by the name of April, shared Ms. Mefferd’s Tweet or another related Tweet by Mefferd with the comment above it, “Jesus didn’t die to save my hymen.”

You can view April’s tweet (Link): here.

I Tweeted in response to April the following comment:

Taking an anti-sexual purity stance waters down biblical sexual ethics. I’m over 40, still a virgin.  @ April_Kelsey

Well, I don’t recall Ms. Mefferd or myself or anyone else who defends the concept of sexual purity, or who say the Bible does teach the concept of sexual purity, as saying that Jesus died to save your hymen.
Continue reading ““Jesus Didn’t Die to Save My Hymen” Declares An Anti-Sexual Purity Advocate – My Response”

Prudie Counsels a 32-Year-Old [Male] Virgin Too Anxious to Go Out with Women.

Prudie Counsels a 32-Year-Old Virgin Too Anxious to Go Out with Women.

(Link): Prudie Counsels a 32-Year-Old Virgin Too Anxious to Go Out with Women.

Excerpts:

Mallory Ortberg, aka Dear Prudence, is online weekly to chat live with readers.


Q. 32-year-old virgin:

I’m a 32-year-old straight man and I’ve never been in a relationship with a woman. I can count on one hand the number of dates I’ve been on.

I’ve had many female friends and am perfectly comfortable around women in that context, but as soon as it’s a “date” my anxiety takes over and ruins everything.

Continue reading “Prudie Counsels a 32-Year-Old [Male] Virgin Too Anxious to Go Out with Women.”

Sex is Holy – by M. Lucado

Sex is Holy – by M. Lucado

(Link):  7 Things God Says Are Holy; What’s Sacred to Us? 

Excerpt:

 Sex is holy.

Many people see sex as recreation; in the same league as golf or sailing. God sees sex as a unique portrayal of divine intimacy. “Honor marriage, and guard the sacredness of sexual intimacy between wife and husband.” (Hebrews 13:4 MSG) God is not anti-sex. After all, he invented it! He regards it as a holy act; a portrayal of the relationship he desires with us.


Related Posts:

(Link):  Virginity is a Sacred Choice, Not a Shameful Status by C. Martin / Giving Sex to a Man is Not A Guarantee for a Lasting Relationship – Contra Comic Chelsea Handler

(Link): When Adult Virginity and Adult Celibacy Are Viewed As Inconvenient or As Impediments

Secular Liberal Author Doesn’t Think A Woman Choosing to Be Celibate is A Form of Feminism – Especially if Motivated in Part by Religious Convictions

Secular Liberal Author Doesn’t Think A Woman Choosing to Be Celibate is A Form of Feminism – Especially if Motivated in Part by Religious Convictions

This is another one of those posts I didn’t want to write.

Previously, I blogged about this:

(Link): I’m a 32-Year-Old Virgin, and I’m Living the Feminist Dream by K. Bryan

This editorial by Bryan, which was originally published on The  Washington Post, did not sit well with writer Aimée Lutkin over at left wing feminist site Jezebel. Lutkin spends much of her post summarizing Bryan’s editorial.

Here are excerpts from Lutkin’s piece,
(Link): Purity Culture May Get You What You Want, But That Doesn’t Make It Feminist

Being happy and fulfilled and a woman at the same time does not automatically make one a feminist.

….Considering Bryan’s scholarly pursuits and her immersion in purity culture, it seems likely that her choices are influenced more by her Catholicism than the fight for equality between the sexes.

But hey, if Bryan feels free to disregard the needs of men to pursue goals like learning to scull on the Potomac and working a job she says is the best she’s had in her life, perhaps she has achieved her idea of equality through sexual abstinence.

In a world that frequently feels like it specifically wants to make women miserable, feeling some measure of happiness as an independent woman is a triumph. But although equality is a kind of triumph, triumph is not necessarily equality. Bryan says:

…Personally, my feminist dream definitely includes lots of consensual, joyful, sexual congress outside of marriage, without shame or religious condemnation, but we’re all dreaming a different dream.

Regarding this comment by Lutkin:

But hey, if Bryan feels free to disregard the needs of men…

I’m sorry, but what? Since when is sex a “need,” and who of the female sex cares if men are going without sex? Women are not obligated to give men sex to meet their supposed “need for sex.”

I thought feminists fought against men objectifying women to be used as sex objects? I thought feminists at Jezebel like to say, “Men, we don’t care about your boners.” Now, here we have a feminist writer at Jezebel telling women that they really need to care about men’s boners.

I note that left wing feminists are arrogant enough to think they alone get to determine and define for other women what feminism is.

Continue reading “Secular Liberal Author Doesn’t Think A Woman Choosing to Be Celibate is A Form of Feminism – Especially if Motivated in Part by Religious Convictions”

Germans Losing Interest in Sex – Relying on Immigration to Boost Population

Germans Losing Interest in Sex – Relying on Immigration to Boost Population

And I just did a post about a week ago about American millennials not wanting sex, and one the other day about (Link): Japanese people not having sex.

Not having sex seems to be a trend right now, if only left and right wing Americans would catch on and stop shaming people for being over 18 and being virgins.

One of the recurring themes I’ve seen in these reports when I skim them are that people are abstaining from sex because they find other activities more rewarding or enjoyable.

For example, in one of the articles I read about why millennials are not having sex, one young man said he is not interested, he would rather play video games.

In this article about Germans, Germans say they are abstaining because they’d rather exercise or get online than have sex. It’s fascinating that so many people consider other activities more worthwhile or enjoyable than sex.

(Link): Germans Losing Interest in Sex – Relying on Immigration to Boost Population

by Oliver JJ Lane, Sept 2016

New research shows Germans are showing less interest in sex as a recreational activity, while birthrates in the central European nation flatlines. It is thanks only to mass migration, now, that the German population is growing at all.

The Hamburg Institute for Future Studies has revealed a rapidly dwindling interest among Germans in sex — and indeed among most social interaction — with the shortfall being made up by a devotion to television, the internet, and exercise.

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