Why Are Young People Having So Little Sex? America is in a Sex Recession – by K. Jullian

Why Are Young People Having So Little Sex? America is in a Sex Recession –  by K. Jullian – via The Atlantic

(Link): Why Are Young People Having So Little Sex? America is in a Sex Recession – via The Atlantic

These should be boom times for sex.

The share of Americans who say sex between unmarried adults is “not wrong at all” is at an all-time high. New cases of HIV are at an all-time low. Most women can—at last—get birth control for free, and the morning-after pill without a prescription.

If hookups are your thing, Grindr and Tinder offer the prospect of casual sex within the hour. The phrase If something exists, there is porn of it used to be a clever internet meme; now it’s a truism.

BDSM plays at the local multiplex—but why bother going? Sex is portrayed, often graphically and sometimes gorgeously, on prime-time cable. Sexting is, statistically speaking, normal.

…But despite all this, American teenagers and young adults are having less sex.

To the relief of many parents, educators, and clergy members who care about the health and well-being of young people, (Link):teens are launching their sex lives later 

…Over the past few years, Jean M. Twenge, a psychology professor at San Diego State University, has published research exploring how and why Americans’ sex lives may be ebbing.

Continue reading “Why Are Young People Having So Little Sex? America is in a Sex Recession – by K. Jullian”

There Were Times When Tina Turner Went Without Sex For A Year

There Were Times When Turner Went Without Sex For A Year

(Link):  There Were Times When Turner Went Without Sex For A Year

Excerpts:

Oct 2018
By Jessica Sager

There were times when Tina Turner went without sex for a year at time, partly because she was terrified of how her partners might react to her wigs in bed.

“I was never one of those women who had to have sex no matter what,” Turner, 78, wrote in her upcoming memoir “My Love Story,” (Link): excerpted by People. “There have been times when I’ve gone up to a year without it, to be honest.”

Continue reading “There Were Times When Tina Turner Went Without Sex For A Year”

What It’s Like To Date As A 30-Something Virgin by B. Wong

(Link): What It’s Like To Date As A 30-Something Virgin

Excerpts:

October 2018

by B. Wong
“You can go without sex. That’s much less of a problem than going through life alone, and without affection.”

It’s Not You, It’s Me is a series that looks at dating in America from the perspective of different ethnicities, sexual identities, life experiences and circumstances.

Forget butt play or the pull-out method: The latest trend in sex might be forgoing it altogether.

According to a recent study out of University College London, millennials are waiting longer to have sex than members of previous generations, with 12.5 percent of them abstaining until age 26.

But some wait even longer than that. We recently talked to three people who have remained virgins well into their 30s — one by choice, the other two by happenstance. Below, they tell us more about how they’ve remained abstinent this long and what it’s like to date when you’ve never had sex.

Responses have been edited for clarity and style, with last names withheld for privacy.

People remain virgins for so many different reasons. For you, was it an intentional choice to abstain from sex?

Brianna, a 35-year-old programmer from Indianapolis, Indiana:

My reasons are a bit of a mixed bag.

I was raised very conservatively and was told that sex before marriage was a sin, so that kept me a virgin for a while. Then, when I outgrew that thinking, it was a matter of waiting to find someone I felt comfortable enough with to consider that next step.

It just hasn’t happened. I date and have had a couple of relationships get as far as three months or so, but no one long term. So, I’m still a virgin.

Matt, a tech industry worker in his mid-30s who lives in Lansing, Michigan:

I grew up with fairly severe social anxiety, which I’ve never completely overcome. I had some early rejections in late high school and early college that completely ruined what self-esteem I had.

Continue reading “What It’s Like To Date As A 30-Something Virgin by B. Wong”

Female Cockroaches Form Squads to Block Male Mating Attempts

Female Cockroaches Form Squads to Block Male Mating Attempts

(Link): Female cockroaches form squads to block male mating attempts

By Hannah Sparks

Ladies have to look out for each other. Even roaches know that.

A new study of Pacific beetle cockroaches in the journal Ethology revealed some surprising feminist tendencies among the insects: In mixed-sex groups, females cluster together to stave off unwanted mating advances from males.

Continue reading “Female Cockroaches Form Squads to Block Male Mating Attempts”

‘We’re In Love But We Never Have Sex’

(Link): ‘We’re in love but never have sex’

By Claire Williams

Some 18% of respondents under the age of 30 have had sex fewer than 10 times in the past year, a survey of 2,000 people on websites Mumsnet and Gransnet has found. Among all ages, the figure was 29%. We meet three couples who, while madly in love, fall into this category.

“Our lack of sex life at the moment is down to me,” Amanda, 35, tells the BBC’s Victoria Derbyshire programme.

“I’m so tired all the time because my job is full on and it’s full on at home. It’s like my libido is tired.”

Continue reading “‘We’re In Love But We Never Have Sex’”

They Are Single And Celibate. This Facebook Group Brings Them Together

They Are Single And Celibate. This Facebook Group Brings Them Together

(Link): They Are Single And Celibate. This Facebook Group Brings Them Together

by Jamie Rogers

September 2018

Journey to Purity creates a community for minority women abstaining from sex

Shunning premarital sex may seem old-fashioned to some, but Erica Willams says nowadays celibacy is somewhat of a movement, especially among some minority women.

Williams, 30, is the founder of Journey to Purity, a nonprofit in Virginia that aims to promote celibacy in women through education and community building efforts.

The Journey to Purity Meetup group has 102 members, and is limited to women. Williams says the majority of the women are black or Latina.
For these women, celibacy is a conscience and often faith-driven choice.

Continue reading “They Are Single And Celibate. This Facebook Group Brings Them Together”

The Good News About Our Longings: Sexuality and Spirituality by R. Villados

I suppose in some ways this is an okay article.

The guy who wrote it is kind of doing a take on some book or article he read about how Christians should approach sexuality, which is all well and good, but the article basically concludes by saying the solution for the chaste is to view Christianity as a “banquet.”

I know you’re randy and want to have actual sex with an actual person, but just think about how great Jesus is and that will take care of it, seems to be the conclusion.

I’ve seen this approach before to this issue by other Christians, but it does not satisfy me. It spiritualizes away a primal, very real and physical desire.

Telling me to imagine pretty sun sets if I have a craving for a piece of lasagna is not going to help me want the lasagna less.

(Link): The Good News About Our Longings: Sexuality and Spirituality by R. Villados

Excerpts

…At the core of this interplay between sexuality and spirituality is desire and longing.

What we do with our sexual desires and longings says a lot about what we believe about God. Which is why we need to clearly define terms.

…Defining spirituality and sexuality can seem like a daunting task because there’s lots of confusion with these words, so in offering a simple way forward, I have found Deb Hirsch’s definitions (found in her book, Redeeming Sex) instructive.

Continue reading “The Good News About Our Longings: Sexuality and Spirituality by R. Villados”

The Unfortunate Anti-Virginity Fall-Out from Christian Misogynist Lori Alexander’s Wacky “Debt Free Virgins Without Tattoos” Post – The Problem is Not Supporting Virginity, It’s Complementarianism

The Unfortunate Anti-Virginity Fall-Out from Christian Misogynist Lori Alexander’s  Wacky “Debt Free Virgins Without Tattoos” Post – The Problem is Not Supporting Virginity, It’s Complementarianism

Updated:

Lori Alexander has posted this (unhelpful) clarification of her post (about “Debt Free Virgins with Tattoos”) on an ultra-conservative political forum:

(Link): Godly Men Prefer Debt Free Virgins Without Tattoos – by Lori Alexander, on Free Republic

Her new aspect is to add the word “Godly” prior to the word “Men,” as if that makes it less obnoxious or wrong, but it does not.

I used to lurk at the Free Republic site, back in my more conservative days, but I’m not surprised to see most of the posters under Alexander’s post on that site actually agreeing with it.

Of course they do.

I’m still a conservative, but I’m no longer off the reservation about it, as the Freepers are on some things, like on this topic.


The Unfortunate Anti- Virginity Fall Out Due to Lori Alexander’s “Debt Free Virgin” Post

If you’d like more background to this post, and an explanation for who Lori Alexander is, please see my previous post about it here:

(Link): Reflections On Lori Alexander’s Debt Free Virgins Without Tattoos

If you are new to my blog, a recap:

I am over 45 years of age and still a virgin.

I was reserving sexual activity for marriage. I’ve never had sexual intercourse. I was expecting to be married but never found Mr. Right.

I do have a libido.

Contrary to what Christians ASSUME about older virgins, Celibacy, being sexually abstinent for as long as I’ve been, is not “a gift” where God granted it to me and supernaturally removed my libido and makes it easy-breezy to cope with.

For many years, I was dedicated to remaining a virgin until marriage, due to Christian ethics, (these days I’m semi-agnostic), but also due to other reasons as well, which I shall not get into here but have explained in older posts on the blog.

In the last ten or so years, I’ve seen a disturbing trend where secular, liberal feminist views about sex have trickled into liberal Christian corners, where there is much railing against “slut shaming” and there is strong opposition to judging any woman for her sexual behavior or choices.

This trend became so common that these same views, disturbingly, began appearing on liberal Christian blogs and sites, whose progressive, feminist, Christian authors began writing editorials saying virginity is of no import, God only cares about your heart and spiritual purity, and God does not care so much anyone’s sexual behavior, (Link): intact hymen, or sexual past.

This anti- sexual purity thinking (which includes the down-playing, condemning, or mocking of physical virginity and adult celibacy) has even crept into mainstream moderate- to- conservative churches and Christian writing and thinking, unfortunately.

Continue reading “The Unfortunate Anti-Virginity Fall-Out from Christian Misogynist Lori Alexander’s Wacky “Debt Free Virgins Without Tattoos” Post – The Problem is Not Supporting Virginity, It’s Complementarianism”

More Women Looking to Become ‘Consecrated Virgins’ Vatican Says

More Women Looking to Become ‘Consecrated Virgins’ Vatican Says

(Link): More Women Looking to Become ‘Consecrated Virgins’ Vatican Says

There has been ‘rapid’ growth in interest in taking vows of lifelong celibacy, Catholic Church says

by Chris Baynes

An increasing number Catholic women are taking life-longchastity vows in order to “dedicate themselves” to God, according to the Vatican.

The Holy See has issued new guidance on consecrated virginity in response to growing interest across the world in the little-known spiritual “vocation”.

Continue reading “More Women Looking to Become ‘Consecrated Virgins’ Vatican Says”

You Tube Host Explains Why She’s Waiting Until Marriage to Have Sex

You Tube Host Explains Why She’s Waiting Until Marriage to Have Sex

(Link): You Tube Host Explains Why She’s Waiting Until Mariage to Have Sex

She thinks abstinence protects you physically and emotionally

A YouTube blogger has posted a video to her thousands of followers explaining why she will not have sex until her wedding night – and wants to encourage other women who are contemplating doing the same.

Courtney Raine, a 21-year-old model and blogger, discussed the topic of abstinence on YouTube in her video titled: “UNSPOKEN Truth About Waiting Until Marriage,” which has been viewed more than 92,000 times.

Continue reading “You Tube Host Explains Why She’s Waiting Until Marriage to Have Sex”

Millennial Explains Why She’s Still A Virgin at 27 Years Old: “It’s Partly Circumstance, It’s Partly Choice’

Millennial Explains Why She’s Still A Virgin at 27 Years Old: “It’s Partly Circumstance, It’s Partly Choice’

(Link):  Millennial Explains Why She’s Still A Virgin at 27 Years Old: “It’s Partly Circumstance, It’s Partly Choice’

Some of my comments about that article:

I don’t agree with all the views of the woman named Kenney who is quoted in this. Kenney wrongly assumes that being a virgin, or choosing to be one due to religious reasons or what have you, makes you repressed, or she assumes you have been brain-washed by the patriarchy.

The article makes a point that people who read about her story on social media were “divided” about it.

If people are touchy about virginity and celibacy it’s because most of the culture is extremely sexualized, puts far too much weight on sex, assumes that having sex is necessary to be “normal” or to be mature. Further, any and all forms of sexual acts have been normalized by broader culture now to the point that anyone who chooses not to partake in the hedonistic sexual free-for-all is thought to be a weirdo, loser, or wet blanket.

I’m expect to support and respect the behavior of people who have kinky sex, homosexual sex, promiscuous sex, etc and what all, but all the people who demand me expect that refuse to respect adult virginity or adult celibacy.

Millennial Explains Why She’s Still A Virgin at 27 Years Old: “It’s Partly Circumstance, It’s Partly Choice’

Excerpts:

“I think it’s partly circumstance and partly choice,” she told hosts Holly Willoughby and Phillip Schofield.

“I think when it comes to losing your virginity there are two camps of thought, when one wants it to mean something and wait for the right person, and obviously some people don’t care.

“I guess I was in the first category, I wasn’t looking for the man I was going to marry, but I wanted something that wasn’t going to be a one night stand, a connection more than sex. I guess I just never found the right person.”

Continue reading “Millennial Explains Why She’s Still A Virgin at 27 Years Old: “It’s Partly Circumstance, It’s Partly Choice’”

Thoughts on the NRO Essay “Advice For Incels” by Kevin D. Williamson

Thoughts on the NRO Essay “Advice For Incels” by Kevin D. Williamson

About me and this blog:

If you are new to my blog: I have been a conservative my entire life. I’ve never voted Democrat. I was a Republican until a few years ago. I am no longer in any political party.

I sometimes critique secular, left wing feminists on my blog (such as but not limited to (Link): this post and (Link): this one), but there are times when I believe other conservatives get feminists wrong, and feminists are actually correct on some issues.

I was brought up in a traditional values, conservative, Christian family where my parents brought me to Southern Baptist churches as I was growing up, where I was taught to believe in gender complementarianism, which I did for many years, until I finally realized how (Link): wrong and sexist complementarianism is.

Because I grew up as a complementarian, I am quite familiar with what they think and why they think as they do.

My current religious beliefs are somewhat “up in the air,” as I am waffling between being agnostic, (or a deist), and the Christian faith. (Note: I am not an atheist.)

I am by no means anti- Nuclear Family, anti- motherhood, or anti- marriage, though I do posit that many to most conservatives – especially the religious ones – have gone to un-biblical lengths and have turned the Nuclear Family, marriage, natalism, and motherhood and fatherhood into idols which is wrong of them.

— end introduction to me and this blog —

I saw a link to this essay go through my Twitter feed today:

(Link): Advice for Incels by Kevin D. Williamson

On one level, this essay – “Advice for Incels” was okay.

However, I think that while the guy who wrote it has his heart in the right place, I think he gets a lot of things wrong and is naive about how Baptist and conservative Protestant and evangelical churches are for adult singles.

I’ve spent the last several years on this blog covering these topics – I’d encourage Williamson and anyone who read his NRO piece to read the books  (Link): “Singled Out” by Field and Colon and  “Quitting Church” by Christian author Julia Duin for even more information.

Continue reading “Thoughts on the NRO Essay “Advice For Incels” by Kevin D. Williamson”

Grieving for My Sex Life After My Husband Died by A. Radosh

Grieving for My Sex Life After My Husband Died by A. Radosh

One minor theme I sometimes bring up on this blog is that getting married is not a recipe for ever-lasting happiness: your spouse, should you marry, can develop early on-set dementia, or die from cancer, a car accident, etc. Or, maybe your spouse turns out to be abusive or so self-centered that he doesn’t care to meet your emotional needs.

So, here we have an article by a lady whose husband died, so she’s not having sex.

I’ve mentioned before in a few other posts on this blog that married people should not think they’re off the hook just because they have a spouse and a spouse is providing companionship – because if your spouse dies before you, you will be single again and find yourself lonely.

In this case, if you know and believe sex outside of marriage is morally wrong you’re not going to start having sex with other people after your spouse dies. This should be another reason why Christians teach that sexual purity, chastity, and celibacy are for all people, not just teens or single adults.

(Link): Grieving for My Sex Life After My Husband Died by A. Radosh

Excerpts:

…Bart and I never bought into that stereotype. We were septuagenarians now, and the sex was still fun. It bound us together.

When Bart was diagnosed with multiple myeloma in his mid-70s, we were both stunned. He had always been strong, athletic, energetic, and healthy; but now the cells in the marrow of his bones were being destroyed by cancer. Within a few months, our hikes up the Catskill high peaks were replaced with quiet walks along the stream near our house.

Continue reading “Grieving for My Sex Life After My Husband Died by A. Radosh”

Study (from 2016) Claims Pre-Marital Virginity is Now ‘Antiquated’ – Is Virginity No Longer Virtuous?

Study (from 2016) Claims Pre-Marital Virginity is Now ‘Antiquated’ – Is Virginity No Longer Virtuous?

I’ve said this numerous times on this blog, but both within Christianity and in secular culture, all sexual preferences and behaviors are tolerated these days (including asexuality), except for hetero adults who choose to remain virgins or celibate.

I don’t recall seeing anything about this study before, and we’re in 2018. I have no idea how over a year has gone by and this story or study never crossed my radar previously – not that I remember.

Not only do I lack sexual experience, but bonus!, I also lack sexually transmitted diseases, genital crabs, I’ve saved a fortune in not paying for lots of birth control, I’ve never had unwanted pregnancies, and I’ve avoided guys using me for sex only to kick me to the curb right after, all thanks to NOT fooling around.
(Nobody ever seems to count or appreciate the positives of being a virgin past one’s 20s.)

Many people are still confusing having sexual activity with being an adult. I’m in my 40s, have never had sex, but I’m an adult. People need to stop assuming it’s necessary to have sexual intercourse at some stage to reach adulthood, maturity, or what have you.

Realize that American culture asks or expects each of us to respect sexuality in any and all its forms, including pre-martial sex, bisexuality, homosexual behavior – but the groups who ask and expect this toleration or celebration never the less refuse to respect the choice by anyone to remain a virgin over the age of 30.

Adult virginity and adult celibacy are the two choices that un-nerve, anger, and confuse the pro-sex types. (And, by the way, I don’t consider myself “anti sex” merely because I was waiting until marriage to have sex.)

Before I get to the rebuttal piece, here is an article about the study, with some excerpts:

(Link): Has virginity lost its virtue?

By Megan Scudellari  / MAY 09, 2016

Throughout history, virginity has been a prized quality before marriage. But though it would come as no surprise to many people, the times are a-changin’: A new look at sexual inexperience in the modern age suggests virginity in America has lost its virtue.

Continue reading “Study (from 2016) Claims Pre-Marital Virginity is Now ‘Antiquated’ – Is Virginity No Longer Virtuous?”

Let’s Rethink Sex by C. Emba

I agreed with much of this editorial by Emba (posted much farther below) and don’t have a problem with it.

I’m a right winger. Imagine my surprise a while back when I was visiting a right wing political blog on which one of the blog owners criticized this editorial by Emba.

From what I can recall, the conservative author found Emba’s cry for the public to take sex more seriously and not sleep around so much, to be unrealistic or too stuffy, too… whatever.

I was appalled that a conservative author on a conservative site (the same author has claimed in previous blog posts on other topics to be a Christian) would be attacking a well-reasoned editorial pointing out that perhaps the avalanche of sexual harassment stories we’ve all been seeing in the media in the realms of Hollywood, sports, politics and more, can be due to people having an “anything goes” mentality towards sex. I agree with her.

Before seeing this editorial a few weeks ago, I was thinking of writing one similar to it myself (and still may).

I would fully expect the majority of liberals out there – especially the feminists – to mock the notion of being chaste or more deliberate about when, if, where, and with whom to have sex, but a conservative? (Liberal feminists (Link): have already done so before, as a matter of fact.)

Maybe I should not be surprised.

I’ve been posting stories to this blog off and on for around the last seven years, and I’ve seen several instances of conservative Christians who have a “meh, who cares, it’s just fornication, go ahead and do it, sex is no biggie” attitude that one would expect to see from some Non-Christians or from liberal feminists.

But the conservatives and Christians go along with this sort of thinking as well.

Continue reading “Let’s Rethink Sex by C. Emba”

A Response to the Editorial “America Needs a New Sexual Revolution” by Melissa Mackenzie

A Response to the Editorial “America Needs a New Sexual Revolution” by Melissa Mackenzie

I guess Ms. Mackenzie drank from the Gender Complementarian Kool-Aid, or something like it.

The complementarian world is a world in which one is taught there are only two options concerning women (I know this because (Link): I used to be one myself for many years):

-either be and live as a traditional values person who believes all women are, or should be, passive, dainty, and delicate and should marry young and have children,
or,
-be and live as a bra-burning, man-hating, liberal feminist.

I present a third option, which is hated by some liberals (when I bring it to their attention), and it’s an option that is never even considered by other conservatives, which is as follows:
I am a right wing woman who rejects sexism, and finds fault in both the left and right wing on some women’s issues, but who also sees some merit to some arguments on either side, depending on the topic.

In this blog post, I am commenting upon this editorial on The American Spectator:

 (Link): America Needs a New Sexual Revolution by Melissa Mackenzie

A foundation of the opening of this editorial rests upon a presupposition that, and to paraphrase my understanding of the author’s perspective:

“Everything that is wrong today in regards to culture, sex, marriage, dating, and women, is liberal, secular, FEMINISM, and feminism is EVIL! One can directly trace the downfall of American sexual morality to the feminism of the 1960s!!”

Such thinking is a common trope in about every right wing publication I’ve ever read on these subjects.

To that point, about feminism supposedly being to blame for all of society’s marital or sexual problems, I would ask you to read this off-site post, which is by a Christian (not by a left wing, secular feminist):

(Link): Perhaps Feminism Is Not The Enemy

What I will do here is provide excerpts by MacKenzie then, under her comments, offer my thoughts.

MacKenzie writes (source again):

There’s a coarsening of relationships between men and women, parents and children, and people with each other.

// end MacKenzie quotes ///

I don’t think secular, left wing feminism was the start of the “coarsening of relationships between men and women” but is a response to it.

One can read the Old Testament of the Bible, which dates back several thousand years, to see men raping their own sisters, owning harems of women (in some cases, women having no choice but to be in a harem, or to be a concubine), and men committing adultery. There was no 1960s, American- style feminism around in Biblical days.

Continue reading “A Response to the Editorial “America Needs a New Sexual Revolution” by Melissa Mackenzie”

Many Christians Really Do Prefer to Use Sexual Failures as Role Models As Opposed to Success Stories – The Tullian Tchividjian Come back

Many Christians Really Do Prefer to Use Sexual Failures as Role Models As Opposed to Success Stories – The Tullian Tchividjian Come back

I believe I’ve blogged about Tchividjian before – he’s a preacher who has admitted to having a series of affairs (more like CSA, Clergy Sex Abuse). Here as of late, several spiritual abuse blogs have noted that Tchividjian is making a comeback – when he should be permanently retired from the pulpit.

One spiritual abuse blog quoted this from another blog, by Mark Jones (source); I think the entire blog post is worth a read, but this is the most pertinent part for this blog’s purposes:

We can also look at Zahl’s article [about restoring Tchividjian to the pulpit] and come away with an almost shocking revelation, namely, that sin is actually a resume enhancement, not a resume killer. The Scriptures go to great lengths to speak about the personal piety of pastors.

Continue reading “Many Christians Really Do Prefer to Use Sexual Failures as Role Models As Opposed to Success Stories – The Tullian Tchividjian Come back”

A Day In The Life Of An Abstinence Ed Teacher by S. Gomez

A Day In The Life Of An Abstinence Ed Teacher by S. Gomez

(Link): A Day In The Life Of An Abstinence Ed Teacher

Successful abstinence education begins with establishing and reiterating every child’s invaluable self-worth.

Excerpts:

…Many Young People Are Learning the Hard Way

My conversation with Kimberly comes at a time where abstinence-until-marriage curricula are being dragged through the media as an archaic form of moralistic sexual repression reserved exclusively for only the most backwards cities and states.

The Trump administration was chastised for its hire of pro-abstinence education leader Valerie Huber, and more recently for ending federal funding for a number of “teen pregnancy prevention” programs under the U.S. Department of Health and Human Services.

It should be noted that “teen pregnancy prevention” is a remarkably pliable term and can include harmful curricula that don’t focus on self-worth or developing healthy boundaries.

If teens aren’t learning that mistakes have consequences, how are they to truly comprehend deciding to have sex this weekend at a party can affect their health, future fertility, and future families?

…Lost amid this battle is the one message teenagers need above all: that they are worthy of a love that is unconditional and comes without the cost of their body.

Continue reading “A Day In The Life Of An Abstinence Ed Teacher by S. Gomez”

The False Teachings Regarding Celibacy from City Church of San Francisco

The False Teachings Regarding Celibacy from City Church of San Francisco

Here we go again. I’ve seen this issue come up before with other Christians, other churches, who hold all sorts of falsehoods about celibacy.  I will be offering comments and criticisms of the views presented in this letter from a San Francisco Church – a link, with excerpts from the page, is below.

The Bible teaches that abstaining from sexual behavior is for all single persons, regardless if they are hetero, bi-sexual, or homosexual, or of some other orientation.

Furthermore, the Bible does (Link): not teach that God “gifts” people with celibacy or that only some, only a few, will be celibate, or that (Link): life long celibacy is an heroic feat possible for only a minority.

Review a bit of my life story: I am over the age of 45, a hetero-sexual woman who long desired marriage, marriage did not happen for me (and it may never), yet I am a virgin, but God did not remove my sexual desire. I still have a desire for marriage, and also a libido.

If I can remain celibate this long, and I have in fact done so, there is no reason for this San Francisco church to imply it is cruel, impossible, or unrealistic for LGBT persons to remain celibate over a life time.

While being celibate over a lifetime is not always easy, it is in fact possible.

Remaining celibate for a long time comes down to self-control and choice, not some magical rare gifting where-in God only zaps a few people with celibacy and removes a sexual drive. The Bible says all believers in Christ (Link): have self-control but churches such as this one operates under the assumption that this is not so.

(Link): A Letter from the Elder Board of San Francisco

Excerpts:

A Letter From The Elder Board

…..WHY ARE WE TALKING ABOUT THIS NOW?

1. God is bringing LGBT Christians through the doors of City Church.
As you read this perhaps you, your friend, or family member are one of them. They desire to follow Jesus, and are eager to live faithfully to the gospel and desire spiritual growth. Some have been living celibate lives and want to know if we can talk out loud about this.
Others report they have become Christians at City Church. Some report that while they were raised in the church, they left it, but have returned and experienced great renewal.
And many hope for a life long partnership one day that will fulfill their basic human need of belonging, companionship, and intimacy.
Others are already married or partnered and know this is a safe place for them to grow in their relationship.

2. Our pastoral practice of demanding life-long “celibacy”, by which we meant that for the rest of your life you would not engage your sexual orientation in any way, was causing obvious harm and has not led to human flourishing.
(It’s unfortunate that we used the word “celibacy” to describe a demand placed on others, as in Scripture it is, according to both Jesus and Paul, a special gift or calling by God, not an option for everyone). In fact, over the years, the stories of harm caused by this pastoral practice began to accumulate.
Our pastoral conversations and social science research indicate skyrocketing rates of depression, suicide, and addiction among those who identify as LGBT. The generally unintended consequence has been to leave many people feeling deeply damaged, distorted, unlovable, unacceptable, and perverted. Imagine feeling this from your family or religious community:
“If you stay, you must accept celibacy with no hope that you too might one day enjoy the fullness of intellectual, spiritual, emotional, psychological and physical companionship. If you pursue a lifelong partnership, you are rejected.” This is simply not working and people are being hurt. We must listen and respond.

3. We feel a growing sense that this counsel is not necessarily the way of the gospel.
While members of the LGBT community have always been welcome at City Church, we prevented people from joining our church if they were unwilling or unable to practice lifelong celibacy. ….

..SUMMARY: WHAT HAS ACTUALLY CHANGED HERE?

…On the other hand, we want to be clear what this now means. We will no longer discriminate based on sexual orientation and demand lifelong celibacy as a precondition for joining. For all members, regardless of sexual orientation, we will continue to expect chastity in singleness until marriage.

/// end excerpts from City Church web page

If your church position is that any and all sexual behavior is fine and peachy, so long as the person is married, AND you’re arguing you are now hunky dory with homosexuality, that would mean, I take it, that you are saying  you are fine with LGBT marriage, and are saying LGBT persons may have same-sex relations so long as they are married to their same-sex partner?

And what if marriage never happens?

I’ll tell you what happens and what should happen:

The person has to remain celibate, if they claim to be a Christian who wants to respect God, God’s morals, and what the Bible has to say about it.

Look, guys at San Fran church, I would dearly love to marry, but no “Mr. Right” is materializing on my front door step.

I may never marry.

If I were still completely a Christian (I am quasi agnostic currently), I’d have to sexually abstain. And I am HETERO. You should expect no less from LGBT persons.

In my time blogging or Tweeting about being a hetero celibate, I have heard from other other HETERO celibates, some in their 40s, 50s, and older, all of them to date have been Christians, I believe.

These heterosexuals are still abstaining – many of them wanted to marry, but they never met the right person, so they remain single.

Please stop acting as though life long, or decades-long, celibacy is so very difficult that it’s this impossible standard nobody can achieve, so you drop it as a biblical sexual ethic.

Just because something is difficult does not mean it stops being right or possible.

Just because it seems that everyone else is doing something (i.e., sex outside of marriage) does not mean you should just say, “Aw, screw it, nobody is living this celibacy stuff out any more, let’s just drop this expectation!”

Where does the Bible say to base morality on popularity or on how many people are doing or not doing something?

If everyone began robbing banks tomorrow, would your church start saying,

“We no longer demand our members to be honest, and work for a living to pay their bills, but it’s okay if they rob banks.”

If you wouldn’t slack off on other biblical mores such as stealing and robbing, why would you do so in the area of sexuality? Why is sexuality an exception here?

Due to liberal political correctness, is that it? That’s not a solid reason, either.

I have to laugh at all the liberal Christian and ex-Christian accounts, blogs, and groups I follow on Twitter, Facebook, and elsewhere, who keep arguing that Christians have turned virginity (or celibacy) into idols – oh no they don’t. This post serves as another example of that.

Christians are ditching and dumping celibacy and virginity teachings faster than you can blink and eye.

There is no so-called Christian “idolizing of virginity” going on, as liberal and ex Christians proclaim – spare me.

Christians should be among the forefront of society defending sexual abstinence, but here they are, acquiescing to culture. Or they (Link): don’t want people to be angry with them, nor do they be perceived as “mean”

They are fine with fudging on biblical ethics in the process.

I have to say, every time I see these types of web pages – such as the one published by this San Francisco church – all I can think is that they are robbing some Christian celibates of a motivation to continue sexually abstaining, since they continue to chip away at a basis or rationale for anyone to remain a virgin or celibate.

Churches like this one are sapping hetero celibates of the the strength to keep going and holding on. Churches such as “City Church” are supporting LGBT persons at the expense of hetero celibate adults – enough of that! They should knock that off.


By the way (and I’ve already tweeted them a link to this blog post)…

the (Link): San Fran City Church Twitter account

@CityChurchSF


Related Posts:

(Link):   Typical Erroneous Teaching About Adult Celibacy Rears Its Head Again: To Paraphrase Speaker at Ethics and Public Policy Center: Lifelong Celibacy is “heroic ethical standard that is not expected of heteros, so it should not be expected of homosexuals” (ie, it’s supposedly an impossible feat for any human being to achieve)

(Link):   False Christian Teaching: “Only A Few Are Called to Singleness and Celibacy” or (also false): “God’s gifting of singleness is rare” – More Accurate: God calls only a few to marriage -and- God gifts only the rare the exceptions the few with the gift of Marriage

(Link):  Self Control – everyone has it, is capable of it, but most choose not to use it

(Link): The Gift of Singleness – A Mistranslation and a Poorly Used Cliche’

(Link): Douglas Wilson and Christian Response FAIL to Sexual Sin – No Body Can Resist Sex – supposedly – Re Celibacy

(Link): Singleness Is Not a Gift

(Link): There is No Such Thing as a Gift of Singleness or Gift of Celibacy or A Calling To Either One

(Link):  The Myth of the Gift – Re Christian Teachings on Gift of Singleness and Gift of Celibacy

(Link): Pastors avoid ‘controversy’ to keep tithes up, author says – Confirms What I’ve Been Saying All Along, Re: Churches: Contrary to Progressive Christians, Churches / Christians Do Not Support or Idolize Sexual Purity, Virginity, or Celibacy – they attack these concepts when not ignoring them

(Link): Theology of Convenience, Expediency, and Borne of Culture – Christian Preachers and Writers Diminishing Seriousness of Sexual Sin

(Link):  Some Researchers Argue that Shame Should Be Used to Treat Sexual Compulsions

(Link):  Christian Preacher Admits He Won’t Preach About Sexuality For Fear It May Offend Sexual Sinners

(Link): No, Christians Do NOT Support or Idolize Virginity and Celibacy, they attack both)

(Link): No Christians and Churches Do Not Idolize Virginity and Sexual Purity – Christians Attack and Criticize Virginity Sexual Purity Celibacy / Virginity Sexual Purity Not An Idol

(Link):  Some Researchers Argue that Shame Should Be Used to Treat Sexual Compulsions

(Link): Christians Selling Out Hetero Celibacy By Defending Homosexual Behavior – Re: Jars of Clay Controversy

(Link): Editorialist at WaPo Argues That Single Christian Adults Can Have Sex So Long As They are Chaste About It – Also Speculates that Jesus Was “Probably” Celibate

(Link): Sometimes Shame Guilt and Hurt Feelings Over Sexual Sins Is a Good Thing – but – Emergents, Liberals Who Are Into Virgin and Celibate Shaming

(Link): Sometimes the Bible is Clear – Regarding Rachel Held Evan’s Post

(Link): Sex, Love & Celibacy by Christian Author Dan Navin

(Link): Nobody Bats An Eye at Condemnation of Hetero Sexual Sin – Observations from Duck Dynasty Controversy

(Link): Southern Baptists open to reaching out to LGBT – but still don’t give a flying leap about HETERO CELIBATE UNMARRIED ADULTS

(Link): Church Touts Homosexuality as a Gift, Not a Sin

(Link): The New Homophiles: A Closer Look (article) Re: Christian Homosexual Celibates and Christian Homosexual Virgins

(Link): Christian Double Standards on Celibacy – Hetero Singles Must Abstain from Sex but Not Homosexual Singles

(Link): The Activist Who Says Being Gay Is Not A Sin – double standards for homo singles vs hetero singles

(Link): Christians Who Attack Virginity Celibacy and Sexual Purity – and specifically Russell D. Moore and James M. Kushiner

(Link): Why So Much Fornication – Because Christians Have No Expectation of Sexual Purity

(Link): Why Do Christians Ask if Homosexuals Can Change Their Orientation – Why Not Explain that Celibacy is an Option?

(Link): Being Against Gay Marriage Doesn’t Make You a Homophobe (editorial by a homosexual man)

(Link): Ever Notice That Christians Don’t Care About or Value Singleness, Unless Jesus Christ’s Singleness and Celibacy is Doubted or Called Into Question by Scholars?

Man with Down’s Syndrome Wins Compensation After Being Banned From Having Sex With Wife

Man with Down’s Syndrome Wins Compensation After Being Banned From Having Sex With Wife

(Link): Man with Down’s Syndrome Wins Compensation After Being Banned From Having Sex With Wife

Aug 2017

A man with Down’s Syndrome has been awarded £10,000 compensation after social workers banned him from having sex with his wife. 

The 38-year-old, who cannot be identified, won damages for breach of human rights after he was forced to abstain from sex for more than 15 months.

Continue reading “Man with Down’s Syndrome Wins Compensation After Being Banned From Having Sex With Wife”