Abstinence and ‘Purity Culture’ Are Often Conflated but Aren’t The Same, Tim Keller Explains, by B. Showalter

Abstinence and ‘Purity Culture’ Are Often Conflated but Aren’t The Same, Tim Keller Explains 

I’m not totally in agreement on Keller (Link) on everything, but he is correct that too many believers (Link): falsely conflate the concepts of being sexually abstinent outside of marriage with the faults in purity culture and unfortunately ditch the concept altogether.

Yet other Christians (Link): falsely believe and teach that the Bible does not support the practice of remaining a virgin until marriage.

The progressive Christians (and (Link): occasionally, doofus conservatives) try to ease the guilty consciences of fornicators (Link): by downplaying fornication.

(Link): Abstinence and ‘Purity Culture’ Are Often Conflated but Aren’t The Same, Tim Keller Explains 

April 17, 2021

by Brandon Showalter

What’s often referred to as “purity culture” is not the same thing as remaining sexually abstinent outside of marriage, though many conflate the two, according to Tim Keller, founder and former pastor of Redeemer Church in New York City.

Keller explained in a Facebook post that in the early church, the Christian sexual ethic — that “sex was only for within a mutual, whole-self-giving, super-consensual life-long covenant” — was “revolutionary,” given the prevailing Greco-Roman ethic of the day.

Continue reading “Abstinence and ‘Purity Culture’ Are Often Conflated but Aren’t The Same, Tim Keller Explains, by B. Showalter”

Young Adults Are Having Less Casual Sex. A New Study Found 3 Reasons Why by Ross Pomeroy

Young Adults Are Having Less Casual Sex. A New Study Found 3 Reasons Why by Ross Pomeroy

(Link): Young Adults Are Having Less Casual Sex. A New Study Found 3 Reasons Why 

Excerpts:

By Ross Pomeroy
March 08, 2021

Young American adults are not as frisky as they used to be. Between 2000 and 2002, 18.9% of men aged 18 to 24 were sexually inactive. Between 2016 and 2018, that tally climbed to 30.9%. Over that same time period, the rate of sexual inactivity among young women grew from 15.1% to 19.1%.

Continue reading “Young Adults Are Having Less Casual Sex. A New Study Found 3 Reasons Why by Ross Pomeroy”

It Took A Pandemic to Get Yale to Endorse Abstinence

It Took A Pandemic to Get Yale to Endorse Abstinence

This is hosted on HotAir’s blog and is a “VIP” article. I do not pay a monthly fee, so I am unable to read the entire article. 

(Link): It Took A Pandemic to Get Yale to Endorse Abstinence

Excerpts:

….At Yale, however, one of the nation’s allegedly most prestigious Ivy League institutions, the faculty has been working on ways to keep all of their charges safe from COVID even when they’re not engaged in scholastic activities with their professors.

Continue reading “It Took A Pandemic to Get Yale to Endorse Abstinence”

Half of U.S. Christians Say Sex is Sometimes, Always OK in Dating Relationships (2020)

Half of U.S. Christians Say Sex is Sometimes, Always OK in Dating Relationships by A. Kumar (2020)

I am not surprised. This is actually similar to another survey I saw a few years ago, and I may have covered it here on this blog (I don’t remember).

It’s disappointing, frustrating and bewildering how so many Christians are not only living in sexual sin – and sex prior to marriage is in fact sin – but that they think it’s just fine. 

The Bible does speak against fornication, and even if it is not or was not mentioned specifically (as some like to argue), it was still the societal expectation – it didn’t need to be stated specifically in the Bible, since it was already understood in the culture the Bible came from, that God was not okay with people having sex outside of marriage.

There are not, that I can recall, any Bible verses specifically condemning infanticide, child molesting, or bank robbing, but that does not mean that the Bible is okay with any of those behaviors.

I think a case can be made against those behaviors – and against fornication – by pointing to other biblical principles.

In light of the fact that Christians (Link): don’t even make a pretense at living by sexual ethics as taught in the Bible, or in defending them these days, I really do not need to see another Christian woman on another blog or on social media saying how harmful “purity culture” teachings were to women (depending on the context of their arguments. Are some facets of Christian purity culture sexist against women? Yes – but that does not negate that fornication remains a sin).

The pendulum regarding sexual behavior and attitudes held by Christians has now swung too far in the other direction – to pure hedonism and “don’t judge me, I’ll have sex with whomever and whenever I want to.”

And folks like me who actually “walked the walk” and did not have sex outside of marriage are shamed for it, or insulted for it, by Christians and conservative groups (see more about that under “Related Posts” at the bottom of this page).

(Link): Half of U.S. Christians Say Sex is Sometimes, Always OK in Dating Relationships (2020)

Excerpts:

by A. Kumar
September 2020

Half of Christians say sex between consenting adults who are in a committed dating relationship is sometimes or always acceptable, and over half — with the exception of evangelical Protestants — say casual sex is OK, according to a survey by the Pew Research Center.

Some 62% of Catholics, 56% of Protestants in the historically black tradition, 54% of mainline Protestants, and 36% of evangelical Protestants say casual sex between consenting adults is sometimes or always acceptable, according to the survey.

Among those who are religiously unaffiliated, as many as 84% say

Continue reading “Half of U.S. Christians Say Sex is Sometimes, Always OK in Dating Relationships (2020)”

Don’t Let ‘Incel’ Misogynists Like the Toronto Killer Tell You They’re Special – I Was A Virgin Until I Was 27 By Noah Berlatsky

Don’t Let ‘Incel’ Misogynists Like the Toronto Killer Tell You They’re Special – I Was A Virgin Until I Was 27 By Noah Berlatsky

American society stopped “slut shaming” people for having sex outside of marriage many years ago, contrary to what the anti-sexual purity “Ex-vangelicals,” liberal Christians, Christian feminists, and other groups argue on blogs and twitter.

The trend has been the opposite in years past: adults who are celibate and single are often ridiculed or thought of as weird losers if they’re not in a romantic relationship and not having sex.

Our culture went from “Slut Shaming” years ago to “Celibate and Virgin Shaming.” (I have examples all over this blog, look for them).

Here’s an essay by a guy who didn’t lose his virginity until his late twenties. It’s another anecdotal piece of the pie demonstrating how our sex saturated culture shames people who are not having sex.

(Link): Don’t Let ‘Incel’ Misogynists Like the Toronto Killer Tell You They’re Special – I Was A Virgin Until I Was 27 

Excerpts

by Noah Berlatsky
April 2018

The man who murdered ten people in Toronto with a van, like the 2014 Isla Vista killer, considered himself an “incel,” or involuntary celibate.

Incels are men who blame the world, and especially women, for the fact that they are virgins, or aren’t having sex as often as they want.

They see women as manipulators who choose powerful but shallow men, and unfairly ignore and even torment good guys like themselves.

Resentment becomes an excuse for misogyny, and sometimes, for violence.

In the aftermath of the Toronto massacre, some people were quick to use the killer’s celibacy as an insult.

Continue reading “Don’t Let ‘Incel’ Misogynists Like the Toronto Killer Tell You They’re Special – I Was A Virgin Until I Was 27 By Noah Berlatsky”

What’s Causing Women To Join the No Fap Movement?

What’s Causing Women To Join the No Fap Movement?

(Link): What’s Causing Women To Join the No Fap Movement?

Excerpts:

A Reddit forum dedicated to abstaining from masturbation has over 450,000 members – and about 5% of them are female

by Katie Bishop
Sept 2019

…Kristel is a follower of (Link): NoFap, a platform that encourages its users to refrain from masturbation. She claims her new lifestyle has led to a complete physical and mental reformation.

“After starting NoFap I felt more motivation, more willpower and more discipline,” Kristel tells me. “I decided to take part in the movement because I like challenging myself and I wanted to prove that I could accomplish this.”

The flippantly named NoFap community has gained a strange prominence since it was founded in 2011 by Pittsburgh web developer Alexander Rhodes.

Inspired by a small study that suggested that male testosterone levels rose after seven days of abstinence from ejaculation, followers avoid masturbation in order to “reboot” their brains.

Having first gained momentum among men in Reddit forums and backwaters of the internet, the community regards NoFap as a sexual health program to combat porn addiction.

Continue reading “What’s Causing Women To Join the No Fap Movement?”

Women Being Slut Shamed, Virgin Shamed, or Celibate Shamed at The Doctor’s Office

Women Being Slut Shamed, Virgin Shamed, or Celibate Shamed at The Doctor’s Office

So, I saw a headline go through my Twitter feed a few weeks ago about a woman who says while on a trip to the doctor’s office to get a check up, she was “slut shamed” by a nurse practitioner at that appointment. (The link to that is towards the bottom of this post.)

I don’t doubt her experience, but I chipped in under that Tweet or another related to mention that as a chaste woman – I’m over 45 and still a virgin myself – I had the same exact thing happen to me, but in the reverse, when I was in my mid or late 20s and had to see a doctor to get blood tests done (over a non-sexual related medical issue).

The doctor I saw at my appointment sort of “Virgin-Shamed” me at that time.

We’re all the time hearing about “Slut Shaming” in our culture, but there is far more Celibacy- and Virgin- Shaming taking place than Slut Shaming.

However, I don’t very often see feminists discussing Virgin-Shaming nearly as much.

As a matter of fact, some feminists who are always complaining about “slut shaming” participate in Celibate-Shaming, or Virgin-Shaming (and sadly, other conservatives also participate in virgin shaming or celibate shaming as well, though many conservatives CLAIM to respect sexual abstinence – but they really do not).

The lady doctor I saw when I was in my mid to late 20s said in addition to running the tests I was in to see her for that day (and I don’t recall now what they were, only that the tests were not related to anything of a sexual nature), she also wanted to run sexually transmitted disease tests on my blood samples to make sure I did not have any sexually transmitted diseases.

I laughed and told her that would be a waste of her time and the lab’s time, as I was still a virgin.

Continue reading “Women Being Slut Shamed, Virgin Shamed, or Celibate Shamed at The Doctor’s Office”

Letter to Advice Columnist: ‘I’m A Virgin Age 55 and I Worry My Life is Wasted’

Letter to Advice Columnist: ‘I’m A Virgin Age 55 and I Worry My Life is Wasted’

I’m less perturbed by this guy’s homosexual orientation and more by his ageism. What is it with older men (LGBT or hetero) who insist on only boinking or dating and marrying much younger people?

And by the way: it’s a sad, sad misunderstanding and misconception by a lot of people that all people (or most) who are virgins or never-married by the age of 30 or 40 are all LGBT. That is not true! I too am a never married adult, am still a virgin, yet I am a hetero. I am NOT LGBT.

(Link): Dear Coleen: I’m a virgin age 55 and I worry my life is wasted

by C. Nolan
July 2019

Growing up in a small village community, I never felt comfortable declaring how I felt and only two or three people know the truth about me

Dear Coleen
I’m a 55-year-old gay man and I’ve known about my sexuality since my teens, but I’ve never had any sexual experiences or relationships with anyone.

I’m still a virgin and I keep my sexuality a closely guarded secret.

Continue reading “Letter to Advice Columnist: ‘I’m A Virgin Age 55 and I Worry My Life is Wasted’”

Inside Secret World of Incels Who Turn To Murder Because They’ve Never Had Sex by J. Lavender

Inside Secret World of Incels Who Turn To Murder Because They’ve Never Had Sex by J. Lavender

Ah, male entitlement. I’m a celibate, hetero woman who had hoped to marry (and hence be having sex with a husband), I’m still single and celibate over age of 45, but I don’t run around killing men because of it.

I do not believe men owe me sex or marriage. Too bad our culture largely sends a message to boys and men in movies, magazine ads, and so on, that they are all deserving and owed marriage, sex, or dates.

Rejection is a part of life, whether we’re talking about not getting what we want romance-wise (no marriage, no dates, no sex, etc), or in other areas. You can go out on a lot of job interviews and be rejected by employer after employer.

Notice that in some of these cases, men are also harmed by incels: incels don’t always just target women, they also kill men in their rampages.

(Link): Inside secret world of Incels who turn to murder because they’ve never had sex

July 2019

WARNING: DISTRESSING CONTENT Elliot Rodger butchered six people because he was a virgin and had been constantly rejected by women

When Elliot Rodger slaughtered six university students he had never met, the world united in grief.

But when it emerged that the 22-year-old had carried out the senseless murdersof innocent victims because he was virgin who had been rejected by women, grief turned to horror.

Rodger’s horrific actions exposed a chilling online underworld of the Incels, meaning involuntarily celibate.

Continue reading “Inside Secret World of Incels Who Turn To Murder Because They’ve Never Had Sex by J. Lavender”

World’s Biggest Brothel Swamped With Millennial Adult Virgins “Not Interested in Sex” by H. Holloway

World’s Biggest Brothel Swamped With Millennial Adult Virgins “Not Interested in Sex” by H. Holloway

(Link): World’s Biggest Brothel Swamped With Millennial Adult Virgins “Not Interested in Sex”

May 6, 2019

THE MADAM of the world’s biggest brothel has revealed the establishment is seeing more adult virgins than ever before – and some of them are not interested in sex.

Dena, from famous Nevada legal brothel Sheri’s Ranch, revealed the Daily Star Online they having a boom of “late bloomers”.

Sheri’s Ranch is believed to be the largest establishment of its kind in the world.

The brothel styles itself as luxurious rest with a bar, spa, pool and a full range of services on the “sex menu”.

And ranch mama Dena revealed some of their clients are not interested in just sex.

Continue reading “World’s Biggest Brothel Swamped With Millennial Adult Virgins “Not Interested in Sex” by H. Holloway”

What I Learned From Being Accidentally Celibate For 5 Years by C. Brooks

(Link): What I Learned From Being Accidentally Celibate For 5 Years by C. Brooks

Five years of celibacy isn’t something I planned.

It’s something that happened when I began to focus on myself and stopped looking for a Netflix-and-chill buddy.

It happened gradually and I only thought about it every so often ― when couples held on to each other scurrying across a windy parking lot, or when love scenes got a little too vivid during a Friday night movie.

Mostly, though, sex just never occurred to me as something I was missing in my life.

Continue reading “What I Learned From Being Accidentally Celibate For 5 Years by C. Brooks”

Percent of Americans Not Having Sex Reaches Record High: Report (2019)

Percent of Americans Not Having Sex Reaches Record High: Report (2019)

(Link): Percent of Americans Not Having Sex Reaches Record High: Report

by Brooke Seipel
March 29, 2019

The number of U.S. adults not having sex has reached a record high, according to a (Link): Washington Post analysis of data from the General Social Survey.

Twenty-three percent of respondents, or nearly 1 in 4, reported having no sex in the past year, according to the Post. More than 30 percent of adults reported having monthly sex and nearly 40 percent reported having sex weekly or more.

Young men between 18 and 30 years of age saw one of the biggest declines in sexual activity, with 28 percent saying they had no sex over the last year. The same data from 1989 shows just 14 percent of men of the same age range reporting no sex.

Young women in the same age range, however, report higher rates of sexual activity, with only 18 percent saying they had no sex in the past year.

Continue reading “Percent of Americans Not Having Sex Reaches Record High: Report (2019)”