Ex-Evangelicals Admit Their Religion Killed Their Love Lives: I’m ‘Literally Thinking About Hell’ During Sex

Ex-Evangelicals Admit Their Religion Killed Their Love Lives: I’m ‘Literally Thinking About Hell’ During Sex

(Link): Ex-Evangelicals Admit Their Religion Killed Their Love Lives: I’m ‘Literally Thinking About Hell’ During Sex – Raw Story Site

(Link):  ANONYMOUS EX-CHRISTIANS OPEN UP ABOUT THEIR DAMAGED SEX LIVES

Excerpts from Raw Story site:

In a confessional piece on The Feed, ex-evangelicals lamented the oppressive influence their faith had on their sex lives and personal relationships with their partners, saying they were haunted by feelings of guilt and shame.

As pointed out by Hemant Mehta at the Friendly Atheist, former fundamentalist Christian Ruby Bisson (Claire) who writes about Christianity at The Gravity of Guilt, has been compiling stories told her by her readers who detailed not only how their deeply-held religious beliefs crippled their sex lives, but the lingering effects after they lost their religion.

According to one anonymous woman, “I can’t orgasm because I can’t relax. I’m literally thinking about hell. It’s been three years since I left Christianity but I can’t shake the thought that a guy who isn’t a Christian just wants me for my bod and I project that insecurity onto him. This is ultimately what ended my only two relationships.”

She then admitted how she tried to make it work.

“I made him pretend he was religious and didn’t want to have sex,” she explained. “I had to convince him it was a good idea. I made him pray at the end of the bed. Through that role play I was able to be the other person and that power allowed me not to freak out.”

Another former Christain said that she spiraled into a world of pornography at the age of 12, that left her secretly living in “shame and self-hatred.”

Continue reading “Ex-Evangelicals Admit Their Religion Killed Their Love Lives: I’m ‘Literally Thinking About Hell’ During Sex”

Joy Beth Smith Interviewed About Being a Christian Adult Single

Joy Beth Smith Interviewed About Being a Christian Adult Single

Joy Beth Smith wrote a book about Christian adult singleness called “Party For One” and was interviewed about it on the Christian program “700 Club.”

(Link):  The Subtle Art of Singleness

The Waiting

Joy Beth was raised by her mom and grew up in the Baptist church.

She participated in the True Love Waits movement where young girls betrothed themselves to Jesus and wore promise rings while saving themselves for their future husbands.

When Joy Beth was in 7th grade, she started writing love letters to this future husband and continued this practice for 10 years.  “I wrote letters all the way through college,” says Joy Beth.

She spent hours recording details of her life but one day at age 22, Joy Beth realized that she couldn’t imagine any man enjoying the experience of reading hundreds of repetitive letters.

Continue reading “Joy Beth Smith Interviewed About Being a Christian Adult Single”

Reflections On Lori Alexander’s Debt Free Virgins Without Tattoos (post updated)

Reflections On Lori Alexander’s Debt Free Virgins Without Tattoos

(Post updated below.)


I used to be a gender complementarian, and I wrote about that in (Link): this post.  I rejected complementarianism many years ago.

Lori Alexander is an extremist Christian gender complementarian (some may consider her more of a patriarchalist, I suppose) who has a Facebook group and a blog called “The Transformed Wife,” where she dispenses what many consider to be extremely toxic, harmful, and sexist advice to women, which makes most women want to gag or vomit.

Lori Alexander recently wrote a post called something like, “[Men Find] Debt Free Virgins Without Tattoos [More Attractive].”

If you are new to my blog, a little about myself, so you can see my qualifications for addressing Mrs. Alexander’s commentary:

I was a conservative Christian for many years and a gender complementarian until around the age of 35. I am currently between the ages of 45 and 50 and am still a virgin (that’s right, I’ve never had sex, not even when I was a college student).

I was committed to the idea of waiting until marriage to have sex, and I never found “Mr. Right,” ergo, I never had sex.

I attended college, which my father paid for (thanks, dad!), so I never had any student debt.

I have a college degree.

I’ve never had any tattoos. I’ve also never drank alcohol, smoked, or abused drugs.

Someone on Twitter posted (Link): these screen captures of posts by Lori Alexander. In those screen caps, Alexander is recorded as writing the following (which I will critique below):

By Lori Alexander (“The Transformed Wife”)

Do you know how much more attractive debt-free virgins (without tattoos) are to young men?

Unfortunately, there are so few of these types of young women anymore because of the high costs of college (debt) and sexual promiscuity even within those in the church. [snip URL Alexander cites to her blog post on this subject]

— end Lori Alexander quotes–

A summary of my conclusions and opinions on this matter:
Mrs. Alexander, you are simply incorrect. I am a virgin, I don’t have any tattoos,  I have no debt, for many years I was the epitome of the good, godly, sweet, demure, lady-like complementarian, I’ve never identified as feminist – but none of that enabled me to catch a husband, Christian or otherwise. I remain single past the age of 45.

There are no guarantees that a woman will gain a spouse if only she follows a certain set of dating advice or rules, such as… prays for a spouse, “trusts the Lord” for a spouse, follows complementarian teachings, refrains from attending college, or refrains from receiving a tattoo or dabbling in feminism.

Continue reading “Reflections On Lori Alexander’s Debt Free Virgins Without Tattoos (post updated)”

Get Thee a Flawed Wife – A Letter of Encouragement—and Realism—to Christian Men Considering Marriage by Lore Ferguson Wilbert

Get Thee a Flawed Wife – A Letter of Encouragement—and Realism—to Christian Men Considering Marriage. by Lore Ferguson Wilbert

Overall, I’d say that the following essay is okay – not great, but okay – but I do differ somewhat from the author’s discussion about the “complementarity” of marriage. I do not believe that “men are from mars and women are from venus,” which the author seems to be implying. The author must be a gender complementarian. I am not.

(Link): Get Thee a Flawed Wife – A letter of encouragement—and realism—to Christian men considering marriage. by Lore Ferguson Wilbert

Excerpts:

…. My husband and I value marriage and singleness, so sometimes we end up encouraging our brothers toward a life of undistracted devotion for as long as they’re able and for the good of the kingdom.

But we also at times nudge one of our friends toward asking a girl out, help them process a break-up, or encourage one of them to more seriously consider the possibility of marriage with a “mere friend.” From the guys considering a relationship, we often hear refrains of hesitance: “Will we be good ministry partners?” or “Will she make a good pastor’s wife?” or “Will we be stronger as a couple than we are apart?”

For them and many other Christian young men, delayed marriage is common. The reasons are complicated and include (Link): unrealistic expectations, lack of confidence, (Link): a desire for financial security, aversion to commitment, general immaturity, or more simply, the inability to find or keep a compatible partner.

Continue reading “Get Thee a Flawed Wife – A Letter of Encouragement—and Realism—to Christian Men Considering Marriage by Lore Ferguson Wilbert”

Complementarian Christians Do Not Think Women are of Equal Worth to Men – Case 2 – Christian Men Mocking the “Me Too” Sexual Assault and Harassment Twitter Tag and Bob Who Detracts (Part 1.3)

Complementarian Christians Do Not Think Women are of Equal Worth to Men – Case 2 – Christian Men Mocking the “Me Too” Sexual Assault and Harassment Twitter Tag and Bob Who Detracts (Part 1.3)

Part 1 | Part 2 | (Part 3)

Regarding the Tweets by a person named Bob‏ (Twitter handle: @JustBobThx) to Dee.

You can view several Tweets that Bob sent to Dee under Dee’s first Tweet (Link): here. I will be referring to those tweets through the remainder of the post.

In the midst of conservative, complementarian Christian men, such as (Link): Tim the Bible Thumping Wing Nut (his screen name) and Fred Butler mocking women sexual harassment and sexual abuse victims by way of the Twitter hash tag “Me Too,” and and (Link): Ricky Masuer  defending said aforementioned mockers, Bob jumped in to dress down Dee, who was responding to the sexist tweets.

Here is a text copy of one of his tweets:

Replying to @wartwatch (wartwatchis Dee) @JeffTheGK (JeffTheGK has been on Dee’s side in this debate)
Bob said:

Is that so. Here’s [he includes screen captures of other people’s tweets] 1 of ur many pro- LGBT buddies in ur “we stand against abuse” club. Waiting 4 ur outrage. Better get writing a blog 2 warn ppl. This is degrading, disgusting, & vile. Ur CONSTANTLY telling GOBC 2 call out their own-so go ahead & do it urself. @Biblethumpingwi ///

Bob is quite simply trying to change the subject.

(Bob later gripes and complains about gender egalitarian Jory Michah and rants about abortion).

The issue that initiated all this dialog was (Link): Tim (aka “Bible Thumping Wing Nut”) ridiculing the sexual harassment or sexual assault of women via the “Me Too” twitter tag.

The subject was not about LGBT topics or Christian gender egalitarian Jory Michah.

Bob, because he is sexist but probably thinks he’s NOT sexist, needs to read my (Link): Post 2 about Rick Mauser, as well, at least the portions of that post under the headings of

  • BIBLICAL PATRIARCHY
  • CHRISTIANS SEXUALIZE GIRLS AND WOMEN, NOT JUST SECULAR CULTURE
  • SEXISM EXAMPLES
  • SEXISM IN THE FORM OF UNCONSCIOUS BIAS

My Views

I have been a conservative over the duration of my life.

I have been pro-life on abortion, and I always voted Republican (though I am no longer Republican. In the last few years, I have come to realize that the Republican Party is either similar to the Democratic Party in some ways, or it has its own set of flaws).

As far as LGBT issues are concerned: I believe the Bible says that homosexual behavior is sinful, but, I’m rather “libertarian” on the topic – if two adults of the same gender want to get it on, it’s not hurting me, so I do not care what they do.

However, I do not generally support liberal, social justice warriors who want to do things such as sue Christian bakers out of business for refusing to bake wedding cakes for homosexual weddings. (I am open to being persuaded otherwise on this topic.)

I do not support things such as LGBT people bullying porn actress women (Link): who refuse to have sex with homosexual men. Liberals definitely get some things wrong.

I am definitely not a liberal.

BOB’S SEXISM AND “PASTRIX”

Bob is sexist.

Bob uses the sexist derogatory term “Pastrix” (which I believe was coined by sexist radio Christian host Chris Rosebrough) to refer to women pastors, or to women who write blog posts about theology.

(I refer you again to (Link): Bob’s posts in this Twitter thread to see for yourself).

If you want to have a respectful dialog with someone on the subject of whether women should be allowed to be preachers in churches or not, that’s all fine and good, but there is no reason to use sexist, disrespectful terms such as “Pastrix” in the process.  Continue reading “Complementarian Christians Do Not Think Women are of Equal Worth to Men – Case 2 – Christian Men Mocking the “Me Too” Sexual Assault and Harassment Twitter Tag and Bob Who Detracts (Part 1.3)”

Dear Abby: Can an atheist and a devout Christian make it work?

Dear Abby: Can an atheist and a devout Christian make it work?

I believe that the Christian “equally yoked” teaching is stupid and acts as a hindrance to Christian single women who’d like to marry.

Also, (Link):  a lot of self professing Christian men are abusive or pigs, so if you’re a Christian woman, you should marry a guy on the basis of how he treats you – not if he claims to believe in Jesus or not.

By the way, I am a little confused by the heading which says that the letter write is an atheist – in her letter, she seems to say that she does believe in God but is not “as religious” as her boyfriend is.

(Link): Dear Abby: Can an atheist and a devout Christian make it work?

(Link) Dear Abby: Can an atheist and a devout Christian make it work?

DEAR ABBY:

For the first time in my life, I am in love. We met about a month ago. I know he’s the man I have waited my entire life to meet. I am 33, so I know what I feel isn’t just lust.

We have one huge hurdle, though: religion. He’s actively religious, while I am not, and he doesn’t believe our relationship can survive this difference.

Continue reading “Dear Abby: Can an atheist and a devout Christian make it work?”

New Research Is Taking Women’s Sexual Pleasure Seriously by L. Cowart

New Research Is Taking Women’s Sexual Pleasure Seriously by L. Cowart

And most conservative Christians, gender complementarians in particular, will continue to ignore information such as this, because they basically feel that women don’t like sex, don’t want sex, and only a man’s sexual needs or preferences are important.

(Link): New Research Is Taking Women’s Sexual Pleasure Seriously

Excerpts:

….In a study published this summer in the Journal of Sex & Marital Therapytitled “Women’s Sexual Experience With Genital Touching, Sexual Pleasure, and Orgasm: Results From a U.S. Probability Sample of Women Ages 18 to 94,” researchers from Indiana University asked that age-old but oft-neglected question: What feels good to you?

Continue reading “New Research Is Taking Women’s Sexual Pleasure Seriously by L. Cowart”

The Rhetoric of Singleness Blog – Links, Comments, Thoughts

The Rhetoric of Singleness Blog

Warning: I discovered through further reading that the author of the blog is a complementarian. I disagree with complementarianism; more on that below.

Had I known from the start she is a complementarian, I may not have started composing this post. I am leery of pointing anyone to a complementarian resource, but here we are.


As of today, I see only a small number of posts on the The Rhetoric of Singleness blog, dating from April 2017, and this blog appears to be from a Christian perspective – but then, her blog does not display a list or pull down menu of all her posts.

Even though the blog looks to be on hiatus, I’ll link to it on the off chance the blogger resumes writing again.

The person behind this blog says she’s single, in her 30s, and has yet to marry but would like to.

(Link): The Rhetoric of Singleness Blog – main page

Some of the only posts I am seeing on this blog include:

(Link): Pursuing Marriage

In that “Pursuing Marriage” post, she says she is a believer in gender complementarianism.

For example, here’s part of what she writes:

So, what options does that leave me, a woman with a complementary view of gender roles, of pursuing marriage? I know for some women who see no options left to them there is a strong temptation to bitterness, resentment, and to denigrate our single brothers who are called by God to the leadership role in the pursuit of marriage.

// end excerpt

Oh no. I (Link): used to be a complementarian myself but ditched it by my mid 30s.

I heard all the same stuff from conservative Christians growing up, as this other blogger likely did, such as, how (Link): men are supposed to be the heads in marriages, God supposedly created women pretty much to exist (Link): only to wait on menand so on.

(And I remained a conservative, even after I realized that complementarianism is false and actually quite sexist – it doesn’t just teach that men and women “complement” one another but that there should be a male hierarchy, of men ruling over women.

Contrary to what complementarians would have you believe, abandoning gender complementarianism will not turn you into a left wing, abortion-supporting, man-hating feminist. I am still right wing, even after leaving complementarianism.)

I am no longer a complementarian, but can pin point complementarianism, among a few other things, as being (Link): one reason as to why I am in my 40s and never got married.

Continue reading “The Rhetoric of Singleness Blog – Links, Comments, Thoughts”

Woman Says She is Lonely in Marriage to Husband Who Ignores Her in Favor of His Job, Watching TV, etc.

Woman Says She is Lonely in Marriage to Husband Who Ignores Her in Favor of His Job, Watching TV, etc.

A woman named San wrote to Christian program “The 700 Club” to say she’s in a marriage where her husband is ignoring her in favor of TV shows and his job and so forth. Pat Robertson’s son Gordon answered her letter.

Here is her letter to The 700 Club:

I have been very lonely in my marriage.

My husband’s priorities fall in this order: work, television, and then his phone. I have brought it to his attention so many times. I find myself only relying on God and Him being my true friend but I am still lonely.

Yes, I have God to turn to and I talk to God all day, every day, but it would be nice to have a husband in my life who I can truly share my life with. What should I do?

[signed] San

I didn’t completely agree with the host’s answer.

Continue reading “Woman Says She is Lonely in Marriage to Husband Who Ignores Her in Favor of His Job, Watching TV, etc.”

Flying Solo in a Family-Centered Church by Joy Beth Smith

Flying Solo in a Family-Centered Church by Joy Beth Smith and Gina Dalfonzo

(Link): Flying Solo in a Family-Centered Church by Joy Beth Smith and Gina Dalfonzo

Excerpts:

Gina Dalfonzo shares an insider’s perspective on the frustrations of long-term singleness


This was never the life I imagined. My friends and I often sit around wondering how we got here. What boys did we pass up? What mistakes did we make?

What routines did we neglect, leaving us sleeping alone while the ticking of our biological clocks lulls us into fitful dreams? I don’t feel equipped for singleness.

All the youth group dating advice was predicated on the idea that marriage was in my future, that if I made all the right choices, kept myself pure, and sought after God, he would reward me with a husband. I’ve only recently gotten to a place where I can ask myself, But what if he doesn’t?

Continue reading “Flying Solo in a Family-Centered Church by Joy Beth Smith”

Does Jesus Alone Really Fill That Empty Space? And: When God Acts Like An Atheist

Does Jesus Alone Really Fill That Empty Space? And: When God Acts Like An Atheist

I was wondering if anyone else reading this, who accepted Jesus as their Lord and Savior (became a Christian), ever experiences a feeling that something is missing in you or your life, or if you ever feel as though there’s a hole in your heart, or if you ever feel an emptiness?

I do at times, and I don’t understand why, since I grew up hearing that everyone has this hole in their heart, and only Jesus can fill it. And, further, if you believe in Jesus, Christians say, that emptiness will go away. What if it does not? Or, what if it returns?

I’ve done the whole Jesus thing. I was a devout Christian for years and years, but at times I still feel as though something is missing.

Continue reading “Does Jesus Alone Really Fill That Empty Space? And: When God Acts Like An Atheist”

A June 2017 Viewer Tells Christian Host She’s Suicidal Over Being In Sexless Marriage for Twenty Years

A June 2017 Viewer Tells Christian Host She’s Suicidal Over Being In Sexless Marriage for Twenty Years

Christians often tell people that if they reserve sex for marriage, the sex will be great and regular. When I was growing up, Christians never acknowledged that sometimes, for whatever the reason, some marriages are sexless.

Then there is this secular and Christian notion that only men want and enjoy sex, while it’s assumed that women don’t want or enjoy sex.

But here we have a letter from a married woman who says she is in a sexless marriage and is so distressed over it that she is suicidal. She says her husband only wants sex at most once or twice per year:

Very shortly after we got married my husband said he could take or leave sex. I was shocked but thought he’d lean more towards the take it rather than leave it side. We’ve been together for 20 years and have sex once or twice a year.

Continue reading “A June 2017 Viewer Tells Christian Host She’s Suicidal Over Being In Sexless Marriage for Twenty Years”

Woman’s Identity Way Too Tied Up In Motherhood (Penny on 700 Club)

Woman’s Identity Way Too Tied Up In Motherhood

The woman who wrote to Pat Robertson’s Christian show “700 Club,” Penny, did not specify if she is a Christian, and one who is a complementarian, but I wouldn’t be surprised if she was one or both.

She wrote:

Four years ago, I was going through an extremely difficult time. My 16 year old daughter left home and moved 2,000 miles away.

Not only was my daughter gone but it seemed like 16 and a half years of my life were gone too. Being an at home mom made it that much more difficult for me.

I dealt with extreme rejection, loss, and sense of purpose. I felt like a failure. I lost my daughter, I lost friends and financially we struggled.

We lost our home and we lived in poverty. I grieved going through so much loss. If my own child didn’t even need me, then what is my purpose in life?

[signed]

PENNY

I think it’s unfortunate that some women think their only value is in child-rearing, that they base their entire identity on being a wife and mother, which is what Penny has done.

Continue reading “Woman’s Identity Way Too Tied Up In Motherhood (Penny on 700 Club)”

Affairs Don’t Start with Texts – via guest authors at Tim’s blog

Affairs Don’t Start with Texts – via guest authors at Tim’s blog

I agree with the following post. I have done several posts here on my own blog about the issues it addresses.

As a never-married woman, I have found myself treated with suspicion by Christians, especially married couples, because the church teaches them to sexualize all women. Single women quite often end up ostracized in Christian circles due to being sexually objectified by things such as the “Billy Graham Rule,” which says all women are sexual temptations to be avoided.

(Link): Affairs Don’t Start with Texts – via guest authors at Tim’s blog

Excerpts:

In this guest post, Sarah Taras and Jon Wymer respond to Relevant Magazine’s article Is It OK for Married People to Text the Opposite Sex.

Conversation Doesn’t Equate to Infidelity

It’s not helpful to assume that conversation between a woman and a man leads to sex. Would there be less sex if men and women didn’t talk?

…We’ve created a whole new set of problems by teaching our fellow believers to treat every one-on-one interaction with the opposite sex as a potential sexual encounter. This is a distortion of God’s design in creation.

Continue reading “Affairs Don’t Start with Texts – via guest authors at Tim’s blog”

Christian Viewer Expresses Disappointment in God, Wants To Know Why, In Spite of Years of Service, God is Not Helping Him

Christian Viewer Expresses Disappointment in God, Wants To Know Why, In Spite of Years of Service, God is Not Helping Him

I almost forgot to blog about this. I really related to this guy’s letter (which I’ve included much farther below, both in text and video format – I’ve embedded the video that contains the letter at the bottom).

This guy wrote this question to the hosts of The 700 Club – Gordon Robertson was the host.

I wasn’t too impressed by Gordon’s response – I felt his reply was just “meh” or “so-so.” It was not an awful response, but I didn’t feel it was great and really answered the guy’s concern.

My interest, though, is not in Gordon’s reply, but in the guy’s question (or maybe it was a lady). This letter resonates with me so much. Sometimes I don’t know if God exists or not, and on some days, I skip praying, because some of the same 3 or 4 things I’ve been praying for over a period of ten or more years now have not been answered.

Either there is no God to hear my prayers, or he doesn’t keep the promises he makes in the Bible about meeting our needs and so on.

Continue reading “Christian Viewer Expresses Disappointment in God, Wants To Know Why, In Spite of Years of Service, God is Not Helping Him”

Married Christian Man Says He’s Been in Sexless Marriage for Nineteen Years and Is Not Happy About It

Married Christian Man Says He’s Been in Sexless Marriage for Nineteen Years and Is Not Happy About It

At least I am assuming this guy who wrote in to the TV show is a Christian – I cannot fathom why a Non-Christian guy would even consider writing a host of a Christian TV show with a relationship question.

This question comes from a guy who signed his name as “Viewer,” and he e-mailed or snail mailed it to the hosts of “The 700 Club,” which is sometimes hosted by Wendy, Terry, Pat, or Gordon. Pat Robertson was the one who replied to this particular inquiry.

From the time I was a kid, I heard from various Christian sources (books, articles, sermons on TV, sermons in person at churches I attended) that if a person remained a virgin, that person could expect God to send them a great spouse, and that their married sex life would be regular and wonderful.

But then, as I got older, I started seeing the occasional married Christian person (sometimes women too, not just men – women have a libido, contrary to what conservative Christians teach!!) – complain that their marriage was sexless.

Continue reading “Married Christian Man Says He’s Been in Sexless Marriage for Nineteen Years and Is Not Happy About It”

Women Who Stay Single or Get Divorced Are Healthiest by B DePaulo

Women Who Stay Single or Get Divorced Are Healthiest

I can tell you that my fellow conservatives won’t like this news at all. Neither will the Christians who are into complementarianism and who like to shame singles for being single, who like to promote the studies that say that staying single will cause a person to be miserable or die younger.

(Southern Baptist Al Mohler loves to push those views (Link): on his blog. It’s sickening.)

Anyway, here is this from B. DePaulo:

(Link): Women Who Stay Single or Get Divorced Are Healthiest by B. DePaulo

Excerpts:

A (Link): new study, soon to be published in the Journal of Women’s (Link): Health, provides fresh evidence that people who stay single instead of getting married, or who get divorced instead of staying married, are especially likely to be healthy.

….Here’s what changed when unmarried women (whether divorced, separated, or always single) got married:

  • After they got married, their BMI (body mass index) increased.
  • After they got married, they drank more.
  • After they got married, their systolic blood pressure increased.
  • Diastolic blood pressure decreased over the three-year period for those who stayed single and those who married, but it decreased less in those who got married.

Here’s what changed when married women got divorced or separated, compared to the women who stayed married:

  • BMI (body mass index) decreased for the women who got divorced.
  • Waist size decreased for the women who got divorced.

(( click here to read the rest ))


Related Posts:

(Link):  More Anti-Singleness Bias From Southern Baptist Al Mohler – Despite the Bible Says It Is Better Not To Marry 

(Link):   Please Stop Shaming Me for Being Single by J. Vadnal

(Link):   Preacher Says in Sermon that Single Men Who Play Video Games Are Losers Who Have Retarded Spirits and This Creates Dating Problems for Women

(Link): Conservative Christians Are Now Blaming Homosexual Marriage on Heterosexual Single Adults

(Link): There is No Such Thing as a Gift of Singleness or Gift of Celibacy or A Calling To Either One

(Link): Family as “The” Backbone of Society? – It’s Not In The Bible

(Link): The Myth of the Gift – Regarding Christian Teachings on Gift of Singleness and Gift of Celibacy

(Link): The Netherworld of Singleness for Some Singles – You Want Marriage But Don’t Want to Be Disrespected or Ignored for Being Single While You’re Single

(Link): Preachers and Christian Media Personalities: Re: Marriage – You’re missing the point stop trying to argue or shame singles into getting married

(Link): Christian Teachings on Relationships: One Reason Singles Are Remaining Single (even if they want to get married)

(Link): Salvation By Marriage Alone – The Over Emphasis Upon Marriage by Conservative Christians Evangelicals Southern Baptists

(Link): Want To But Can’t – The One Christian Demographic Being Continually Ignored by Christians Re: Marriage

(Link): Theme Park Bans Single Adults For Fear They Are All Pedophiles

(Link):  Stigmas and Stereotypes of Single Unmarried Men Over 25 or 30 Years of Age – They’re Supposedly All Homosexual or Pedophiles

(Link):  Christian Blogger About Divorce, Pastor Andrew Webb, Thinks All To Most Mid-Life Never – Married or Single – Again Adults Are Mal-Adjusted, Ugly Losers Who Have Too Much Baggage

(Link): Church Allows Pedophile To Lead Bible Studies, Hails Pedo as a “Hero” – Meanwhile, Many Churches  Refuse to Allow Celibate, Single Adults to Hold Any Sort of Leadership Positions

‘Everybody Loves Raymond’ TV Show Scene Perfectly Sums Up What It’s Like To Be Single at 40+ When You Had Wanted to Be Married

‘Everybody Loves Raymond’ TV Show Scene Perfectly Sums Up What It’s Like To Be Single at 40+ When You Had Wanted to Be Married 

I just re-watched a re-run I had forgotten about. It really resonated – maybe not so much at the time, when I was in my 20s when it first aired, but now that I’m in my 40s and still single, like the character in the skit is, I totally relate.

I will embed the scene below in this post, that someone posted on You Tube (I so hope the video is never pulled down. Sometimes, videos are removed due to copyright infringement claims.)

“Everybody Loves Raymond” is a television situation comedy show that started around 1996. I used to watch it every week and still remember the characters and one or two of the episodes.

This show takes place, starts out, in the late 1990s, before many Americans had the internet – dating sites were still a good ways away, and cell phones didn’t really catch on until around the year 2,000 or a bit later.

Even when dating sites first came out and caught on, many singles did not want to use them.

Even up to around 2005 or so, there was a stigma attached to dating sites. If you used one at that time, you didn’t really want anyone to know, because they might think you were desperate or a loser.

I started watching “Everyone Loves Raymond” again in re-runs about two weeks ago – it comes on some of the local cable channels. If you’re like I am – single over the age of 35 and had expected and wanted to marry – you might really relate to the embedded video in this post, too.

To set it up for you if you’re not familiar with the show:

The show is about a guy named Ray who is married to Debra. Ray’s parents, Frank and Marie, live across the street from Ray and Debra.

Ray’s older brother, Robert (a.k.a. “Robbie”), is a police officer who lives with his parents – the guy was married to a woman name Joanne(?), and if I remember correctly, she won the house in their divorce. Joanne dumped Robert for a guy Robert arrested.

For a long time, Robert was too broke and too depressed to live on his own, so he lived with his parents. Eventually, Robert meets Amy, and they get married. But for a good long time, Robert, who is in his early 40s, is single, can’t seem to meet the right woman, and hates being single.

Continue reading “‘Everybody Loves Raymond’ TV Show Scene Perfectly Sums Up What It’s Like To Be Single at 40+ When You Had Wanted to Be Married”

Wendy Griffith’s Singles Material on 700 Club Christian Show in Feb. 2017

Wendy Griffith’s Singles Material on 700 Club Christian Show in Feb. 2017

Wendy Griffith is one of the lady co-hosts on Christian program The 700 Club. She seems okay, but as you all know, I don’t think anyone should take (Link): relationship advice from her host, Pat Robertson.

Griffith is in her 40s, has never been married, but would like to be married. (Like me!)

By the way, if you find me too cranky, mean, and foul-mouthed, you’d probably like her and her Twitter page. She seems like a very nice lady, but not nice in an annoying way.

I thought some of you visitors to my blog may be interested in this information.

I was watching 700 Club a few days ago, and there was a spot on there where Griffith was promoting a new book she has for single Christian women. She is also doing segments either on the TV show or on some Facebook group in relation.

I wasn’t watching the TV segment on this too closely, so I’m rather vague on what is going on.

I do know she has some sort of Facebook group under her name or in relation to 700 Club where adult singles can post prayer requests and read up on material for adult singles.

I will search the internet to see if I can find out more about what is going on with this

I can see she is discussing some of this singleness stuff on (Link): her Facebook page (as of Feb 2017).

Here is one post of hers for Singles Month:

(Link): Facebook: Should the Man Pay for the Date?

(Link): Facebook: The Dangers of Recreational Kissing

A tweet from her Twitter timeline about singles lead to this Facebook page:

(Link): 700 Club / Griffith Singles Video and Advice

Continue reading “Wendy Griffith’s Singles Material on 700 Club Christian Show in Feb. 2017”

Clueless, Naive, 52 Year Old Idiot Cheats on “Woman Of His Dreams”

Clueless, Naive, 52 Year Old Idiot Cheats on “Woman Of His Dreams”

If you felt like this woman was the “girl of your dreams,” there was no reason to cheat on her – well, not that cheating in other contexts is okay. I am baffled. He says this new girlfriend was the “girl of his dreams,” but he still cheated on her? Idiot.

He feels that getting re-baptized at a church would some how convince her to stay with him and not break up. Clueless.

He complains in this letter about being in “two weeks of loneliness” ever since his girlfriend broke up with him.

Oh boo hoo and SHUT UP. I’ve spent much, much longer (over a decade) single and alone, so don’t come crying to me or someone else about being single for TWO WEEKS, you dolt.

(Link): Source for the following letter.

DEAR AMY: I am a 52-year-old divorced man.

A year ago I met “Carla,” the woman of my dreams. Then last summer, I lost my job. I was under a lot of stress.

I started texting with an old girlfriend. Some conversations became sexual. I consider myself a good guy with strong morals, but I failed. The woman forwarded the texts to Carla. She was devastated and ended our relationship.

I have sent cards, flowers and many texts. Carla said she’s moving on and that I should, too. But what I did affected me so much that I was baptized at my church because I needed a fresh start.

I need to show the love of my life that I’m not playing around anymore.

I will do anything to get my girl back. It has been two weeks of loneliness, but it feels like a lifetime.

I know I shouldn’t push too hard. But I don’t want to be forgotten.

Signed,

Devastated

What an idiot.