Married Pervy 50+ Year Old Pastor Diddles 16 Year Old Kid

Married Pervy 50+ Year Old Pastor (Jack Schaap ) Diddles 16 Year Old Kid – Married Christians Not More Mature or Sexually Pure than Un-Married Christians

 Below is a link to a story about a 50-something preacher, Jack Schaap, who was carrying on a sexual affair with a teen aged girl from his congregation.

A lot of Christians like to tell un-married Christians that un-married Christians are not as mature or responsible as married people are.

Even if you are age 40 or older, a lot of married Christians assume you, a Christian single, have the maturity or life experience of a typical 15 year old kid. 

 A lot of preachers assume that un married Christians have raging hormones and have a different sex partner every night of the month. They never seem to figure out that marriage does not make people immune from engaging in sexual sin.

Married people are not always immune from immature behavior or selfishness, either. 

This originally comes from 

http://www.singlemind.net/?p=7281

Preacher Jack Schaap–pastor of FBC Hammond Admits To Having Sex with Teen Girl Repeatedly

Jack Schaap–pastor of FBC Hammond, IN–was fired after admitting to an affair with a 16-year-old girl.

Being a megachurch pastor, he probably qualifies as an Alpha, and power does tend to be the ultimate aphrodisiac.

But still…he is married, and has almost 40 years on the girl with whom he was fornicating. 

Oh, and he has written books on dating

This entry was posted on Friday, August 3rd, 2012 

This same pervy pastor also made this disgusting video, where he simulated masturbation from the pulpit, in front of people, including kids: 

(Link): Jack Schaap demonstrates how to polish a shaft 

Marriage does NOT make a person more mature or sexually pure than an un-married person, as that video and news story demonstrate. 

Blaming the Christian for His or Her Own Problem or Unanswered Prayer / Christian Codependency

I don’t have any answers for these topics I’m raising; I’m only ranting about a couple of topics that have been annoying me the last few years.

I was watching Hal Lindsey’s Bible prophecy show this evening. I usually like this guy’s teachings (or used to; over the years, I’ve lost some interest in Bible prophecy. One can only stand hearing oh- so- many “the world is ending soon!” type lectures and attempts to figure out who the Anti Christ is before it all gets a little old).

Lindsey was explaining today why sometimes a Christian’s prayers may go unanswered – and I’ve also seen pastor Charles Stanley, other Christian television personalities, and Christians online say the same thing – that is, if your prayers are going unanswered, it could be because you have “unconfessed sin” in your life (they also dole out other possible reasons).

This is a variation of a troubling, annoying, infuriating theme I see among Christians from time to time, from preachers and from Christian family, friends, and acquaintances.

Blame The Victim

Any time one approaches these people with any of life’s disappointments, let downs, struggles, regrets, heart aches, and questions of, “Why doesn’t God do “X” for me, I’ve been praying about it for years?,” these sorts of Christians begin reeling off a list of reasons, such as, “You must have unconfessed sin in your life!,” “You must not have enough faith,” or some such rationale.
Continue reading “Blaming the Christian for His or Her Own Problem or Unanswered Prayer / Christian Codependency”

The Problem with Platitudes – for Christian single over 35 years old never married

The Problem with Platitudes

(originally on Christianity Today)

by Camerin Courtney -Febraury 11, 2004

They mean well, bless their hearts. All those kind, well-meaning souls who offer us answers to questions we never asked.

You know what I’m talking about. You’ve heard these answers, too: “Just trust God to meet all your needs.” “Stop looking and the right one will show up.” “No matter how it appears, God is still sovereign.” “Your maker is your husband.” “Focus on being the right one instead of looking for the right one.” “There’s so much more to life than marriage.”

I don’t know about you, but these quick fixes are usually offered to me right after I’ve relayed some frustration, vulnerability, or messiness about the single journey. In fact, sometimes they’re e-mailed to me from readers of this very column whenever I admit to some of the more vexing emotions or experiences of the single journey.
Continue reading “The Problem with Platitudes – for Christian single over 35 years old never married”

The Singles Challenge ( Single Christian over 35 years old never married )

From christianity.com
(originally from The Singles Challenge
By Margaret Feinberg
Copyright Christianity Today International):


Theresa became a Christian when she was 18. She says she assumed that God would present her with a fine Christian man, complete with a shiny red bow, and that meeting him would be just around the corner.

“I’m 33 years old now, and no such man has shown up on my doorstep,” says the San Francisco Bay Area resident.

Most of the men that ask Theresa out are not Christians, which makes it easy for her to say no. When she finds herself attracted to a non-Christian, they have to pass a test she calls “dropping the Jesus-bomb.”

She used to let non-Christian guys take her to dinner and then halfway through the meal tell them that she was a Christian. “They’d still seem hopeful until I bluntly told them what that means in their language: ‘I am not going to sleep with you,'” she says. “Most non-Christian men respond to this by saying ‘check please!’ I got tired of the dinner ritual and have sped up the process. Now I simply drop the Jesus-bomb right away.”

She says dates were easier to come by in her early twenties, when most people that age are still single. “But my twenties came and went and now most of my peers are married and having babies,” she explains. “I rarely see a man my age who is single. And the few I have seen, I have no interest in, not that they are asking me out in the first place.”

Theresa is far from alone in her situation. Being single today -especially a single Christian- isn’t easy. A variety of issues assault today’s Christian singles, including pressure to marry from family, friends, and well-intentioned church members; a lack of dating options; and, of course, sexual temptation. In addition, women face the constant ticking of their biological clocks.

And it’s not just twenty- and thirtysomething men and women who are facing these challenges. Today there’s a growing demographic of older singles, 40 and up.

“In singles’ groups with people age 30 and above, a significant portion of the singles are single again,” says Chip Ingram, president of Walk Thru the Bible Ministries and author of Love, Sex, and Lasting Relationships. “Thus, the pain of the failed relationship and often being a single parent multiplies the stress in an older single’s world as well as making it difficult for the never-have-been-married singles to discern what their role is in developing relationships where they would be inheriting a family or dealing with baggage from their partner’s past.”

A lot of older single Christians, who didn’t expect to be single at this point, admit to feeling lost. “They thought they would be married by now, or if they’re divorced, they never expected that to happen to them,” says 33-year-old Lori Smith, author of The Single Truth: Challenging the Misconceptions of Singleness with God’s Consuming Truth.

“They often feel less Christian because the church emphasizes family so much that singles are left with the impression that good Christians get married and have kids. They wonder if God has forgotten them. Many are depressed about being single and don’t know how to change the way they feel.”
Continue reading “The Singles Challenge ( Single Christian over 35 years old never married )”

Standing Alone – single or never married Christians over 35 years old

This material is from Standing Alone by Cristina Foor

There are more singles in the United States than the entire populations of France and The Netherlands combined. But the church, for the most part, ignores their needs.
A large segment of our culture walks past the doors of our churches every Sunday, almost entirely unnoticed. Many of these passers-by will, at one point, find their way into our sanctuaries. But all too often they will end up feeling as if they are still invisible.

Why? Because the church typically ignores this particular group of men and women–singles.

Some 98 million Americans today are single, according to the U.S. Census Bureau (Current Population Survey, March 2000). That’s close to half of our population age 15 and older. That’s more than the entire populations of France and The Netherlands combined. And this trend toward singleness in our society seems to be on the rise.

Whether it is by choice, by the death of a spouse or by the unforeseen end of a marriage, the fact remains that more and more men and women are becoming single. Mirroring society at large, it is estimated that more than one-half of the church population is now single, too. Ministry to this group has become imperative.

A strong singles ministry can strengthen a church’s overall ministry effectiveness. That being the case, the lack of ministry to single adults must simply constitute denial of this large and growing population.

If churches want to remain relevant and meet the needs of people in our present culture, it is essential for them to develop an effective singles ministry. The issues and challenges peculiar to singles must be acknowledged and addressed.

In order to reach this harvest field, however, the church needs to understand this group and its many dynamics. Singles should never be viewed as people to be pitied or prayed for, as if their singleness were a weakness to be overcome.

As Carolyn A. Koons and Michael J. Anthony stated in Single Adult Passages: Uncharted Territory, the mind-set in many churches today must be altered if a successful ministry for singles is to take place.

Much of the time singles live on the fringes of church life because they feel the church doesn’t understand or care about their particular needs. Singles’ needs differ greatly from the needs of those who are married. With the demise of the traditional family unit in our country, and in an attempt to re-establish lost family values, many churches have focused their attention on those areas while ignoring those who are not currently in families.

The church must shed its indifference toward singles and realize that couples are not better than singles, only different. In many churches, there seems to be little, if any, recognition that singleness inherently presents unique challenges and issues that need to be addressed. In addition, there has been very little real movement toward specific training for this ministry area.
Continue reading “Standing Alone – single or never married Christians over 35 years old”

Double Standard by Some Non Christian Childfree

I wrote about childfree people in a previous entry. I myself am childfree, but I’m also a social conservative, conservative Christian, and a Republican, unlike most CF (child free people) who seem to be left wing and atheist – and who are hostile towards people such as myself.

One glaring double standard I see on CF (child free) blogs and forums are CF Non Christians who complain about mothers who breastfeed. (I agree that breastfeeding should be done in private and not in public.)

Many CF seem to believe there is something sexual about nude breasts, even in the context of breastfeeding; maybe to an extent they are correct about that. (For example see posts in this thread about Time magazine’s breastfeeding cover at Bratfree Forum).

Here are a few quotes from that CF forum thread regarding the Time magazine breastfeeding story:

by loavesstillsuck

THE HORROR! The look of the self-satisfied moos [mothers] standing their with their adult children (well, practically) sucking on their udders. . . . . . . glaring into the camera lens as if to say “I dare you to think of me sexually with a kid sucking off of me!”

BLEAH! There is no word appropriate enough, save for BLEAAAAAAH and VOMMITTTT.

by gwddee

Yeah I noted the ‘lighten up” twit. What the f*uck? Yep, keep defending that pedophile [mother in photo breastfeeding son], assh*le.

by rudegubmintworker

Why can’t the mom pump her breast and give the brat her boob milk from a cup? Because she gets physical and/or sexual satisfaction from it, loves using it to control the brat. Whether she wants to admit it or not.

When I was almost age 4 (like this kid SUPPOSEDLY is) I was in pre-kindergarten and could already read (and had been formula fed). I can’t imagine leaving school where I read, drew numbers and stick figures to go suck on Mom’s tit. Not to mention – some kids even back in the seventies at age 3 and 4 were skilled in the art of teasing other kids. What happens of other kids get wind of the fact Suckley still nurses? He’ll become the victim of bullying.

There are many, many other similar quotes to those above at that site and at other CF sites, who are equating breastfeeding (or the photo of such on the Time cover) to pedophilia.

Many CF, though, do not believe there should be any or many limits on sexuality in other areas, and they don’t seem to spot their own hypocrisy in this.

Many of the Non Christian CF mock and ridicule Christians or conservatives who teach and believe sex should be for marriage only, teens should not be having sex, and that homosexuality is unnatural and sinful.

Continue reading “Double Standard by Some Non Christian Childfree”

Childfree Christians / Childfree childless

(click “more” to read the entire post)

I’ve visited a few blogs and discussion boards for people who are “childfree.”

Most childfree people bristle at being referred to as “childless,” since most of them never wanted to have kids and intentionally took steps to avoid having any, such as undergoing sterilization procedures.

The term “childless” signifies to them that they wanted kids but could not have them, as well as other unwanted connotations, so they dislike the term.

Before I discuss my views on these childfree sites, here is my background and views as they pertain to kids and other topics I see regularly brought up on childfree forums and blogs:

I do not have any children. I have never had children. I have never married. I wanted to be married and would still like to be married.

I’ve never felt totally comfortable with the idea of becoming pregnant and having a baby, but I was never totally opposed to having one of my own.

I do not hate children, but I don’t like most of them. Most children are irritating and too loud. Most teens are obnoxious and idiotic. I don’t think 99% of infants are cute.

I am pro-life; I do not support abortion, nor do I support homosexuality or the legalization of homosexual marriage.

I am a social conservative and a Republican.

Here are my experiences of visiting childfree blogs and forums…

While I can relate to many of the problems and situations described at some of these sites, such as The Childfree Life discussion board or Bratfree Forum, I am dismayed or put off by some of the comments and attitudes I see by some members.

There is quite a bit of profanity on those particular boards and on others like them;  there are jokes about killing or maiming kids/babies (implied); rude or cruel comments about people who did nothing to deserve it; many generalizations or gross misrepresentations or misunderstandings of conservative Christians.

Continue reading “Childfree Christians / Childfree childless”

Christian Singles Never Marrieds – it’s okay to get your needs met

Christian Cliche’ (and it’s un-biblical) “Go to church to serve not be served”

Christian Singles Never Marrieds – it’s okay to get your needs met

(click the “more” or “continue reading” link to read the rest of the post)

Oh geeze, no. I totally am fed up and irritated by these kinds of views (this comes from Crosswalk’s site, (Link): “The Great Disappearing Singles Ministry“):

However, like many other things churches in North America do that aren’t prescribed in Scripture, maybe singles ministry should be how you serve your church, not how the church serves you.

This goes back to a concept I touched in (Link): a previous post.

Obviously, the Bible calls Christians to help other people and not be selfish, but there is nothing wrong or unscriptural about trying to get your own needs met.

A lot of Christians have this warped perspective that the Bible teaches they are to help only non-saved people or certain categories, such as widows, orphans, etc. However, the Bible advises Christians to help other Christians before trying to reach the unsaved (or homeless, widows, etc).

If the reason I choose a church is based on the lack of, or quality of, a singles ministry, that’s within my rights.
Continue reading “Christian Singles Never Marrieds – it’s okay to get your needs met”

Responding to the Cliche’ Jesus Is All You Need – Christian never married lonely single

From The Toughest Questions Singles Ask

3. If God is all I really need, why do I still yearn for something more?

While it’s certainly true Jesus is the ultimate source through which all our needs, relational and otherwise, are met, he meets those needs in diverse ways. Sometimes he does so directly, but often he does so indirectly through people and circumstances.

Many Scriptures—such as Genesis 2:18 and Ecclesiastes 4:9-12—point to the necessity of human companionship. In the Epistles alone there are more than 50 references to “one another”: “love one another” (1 Thessalonians 4:9); “forgive one another” (Ephesians 4:32); “serve one another” (Galatians 5:13). God places great value on our relationships. While our relationship with God is primary, we need each other, too.

Unfortunately, a lot of false guilt can stem from a failure to grasp this truth. Here’s what can happen. Let’s say someone counsels “Mary” to find total relational satisfaction in Jesus. She earnestly tries, but because God designed us for relationship, she fails. She then begins to wonder what’s wrong with her, why she can’t get close enough to God to satisfy her unmet relational needs. Now she’s left with a false belief that her relationship with God is flawed. So poor Mary feels like a failure at human relationships (presumably because she isn’t married) and a failure at her relationship with God. We need to work hard to set singles free from this unhealthy, untruthful cycle.

Article: My Savior My Spouse? – Is God or Jesus Your Husband Isaiah 54:5

Article: My Savior My Spouse? – Is God or Jesus Your Husband Isaiah 54:5

I agree with the author of this. I find it annoying when people try to cheer me up about my never married status by telling me “Jesus is your husband.” Oh please.

My Savior My Spouse? (Isaiah 54:5)

by Camerin Courtney

If you’re one of those singles who finds comfort in Isaiah 54:5—”For your Maker is your husband, the Lord of hosts is His name … “—you should probably stop reading this column and go reread that passage instead. I’ll catch you next time around.

But if you’re one of those singles who reads that verse with equal parts confusion and consternation, read on, kindred. You’re in good company.

Maybe part of what “bothers” me about this verse is the timing of when it’s quoted to those of us without a spouse—usually right after we’ve expressed loneliness, a desire to be married someday (perhaps someday soon), or sadness over the end of a relationship.

The quoters mean to be encouraging, I know, and sometimes this verse does offer a needed reminder that God is always with us; he’s a relationship constant in a world of frequent moves, shifting friendships, painful divorce. And he offers not just any relationship, mind you, but intimate relationship.

God desires the kind of close interaction with us that sparks comparison to that of a husband and wife. He’s not a distant, cold, ambivalent God; he’s an up-close, hands-on, how-was-your-day, cares-about-the-details kind of God. At least when we let him be that kind of God. And yes, sometimes hearing this verse reminds me of all these wonderful truths.

But most days, when this verse is directed specifically at singles, it can be guilt inducing. You feel lonely? Just cling to Jesus. You want a husband? Jesus already is your husband. Isn’t he enough for you?

Well, yes … and no. Yes, Jesus is my foundation, my savior, my hope. He’s the friend I chat with when my eyes first open in the morning, when I’m in the shower, when I’m driving to meet a friend for coffee, when I’m washing dishes in my pj’s.

Continue reading “Article: My Savior My Spouse? – Is God or Jesus Your Husband Isaiah 54:5”

Singleness and Scripture – responding to Christian myths about singleness

Written by a 40 year old women who’s never been married, has no kids:

Singleness and Scripture

by Lisa Harper

Although being single in America no longer is atypical (the latest US census reveals more single/divorced/widowed women than married ones), in the Christian subculture, singleness often seems an anomaly. I can’t count how many times church people have awkwardly asked me, “Do you have any children?” or “Where’s your husband?”

My favorite answer is, “My future husband’s lost and won’t stop to ask for directions.”

The quip usually prompts giggles and diverts attention from my lackluster dating life.

Sometimes I wonder if myths about Christians and singleness contribute to making women without a diamond ring on their left hand feel like misfits.

Let’s look at some of the faulty theology surrounding singleness, and get the Bible’s actual take on the subject.
Continue reading “Singleness and Scripture – responding to Christian myths about singleness”

Article by J. Watts: The Scandal of Singleness – singles never married christian

Excellent piece by Jackson Watts (I omitted the footnotes; you can visit the link “The Scandal of Singleness” to view them); click the “more” link to read the rest:

(Link): The Scandal of Singleness

Sometimes others know us better than we know ourselves. Though the world sees through a darkened lens, occasionally it observes something in Christians worth considering. Recently, a New York Times has done just that in exploring the bias in evangelicalism against hiring unmarried pastors [1].

Erik Eckholm recounts the case of one experienced pastor unable to find work after searching since 2009. According to Eckholm, most evangelical churches will never seriously consider a single pastor for fear that (a) he cannot relate well to married couples, or (b) his sexual orientation is in question. While it would be easy to target search committees for their myopia, the data shows that this bias extends throughout many evangelical denominations.

This trend represents the concerns of Christians about the state of marriage in America. Many publications have noted the fact that unmarried adults are now the largest demographic in America. According to the last census, nearly 50% of American adults are unmarried—the most in history. It is in this vein that evangelical theologian Al Mohler responds to Eckholm’s findings: “Both the logic of Scripture and the centrality of marriage in society,” he said, justify “the strong inclination of congregations to hire a man who is not only married but faithfully married” [2].

So, is this bias against singles, especially in ministry, justified? Is the privileged status of marriage over singleness Scriptural? Is singleness as scandalous as some imply? I contend that the church’s witness is hindered insomuch as it ignores or belittles faithful expressions of singleness in the church.

Continue reading “Article by J. Watts: The Scandal of Singleness – singles never married christian”

Article: Sensitivity to Singles’ Needs Grows

(Please use the “more” link below to read the rest of the post)

April 2012

LOUISVILLE, KY. — When he looks out over his small congregation on Sunday mornings, Steven Schafer sees a picture of modern American family life.

About half of the congregants come from what was once typical – families headed by married couples.

The rest include “a lot of single parents, a lot of divorced parents, a lot of grandparents raising their kids,” said Schafer, pastor of Ridgewood Baptist Church. “The traditional family is not the norm.”

That presents a major challenge to churches, which are struggling to respond to the revolution in how Americans structure their families, households and romances.

Nearly half of American adults today are unmarried – whether never-married, currently divorced, separated or widowed, according to the U.S. Census Bureau.

Married couples account for just under half of all American households – down from 71 percent in 1970, according to the U.S. Census.

Yet still today, married people are more likely than singles to be church attendees. And churches often seem focused on the nuclear family, whether it’s in the sermon topics or the posters on the walls or the graded Sunday Schools.

The Rev. Kevin Cosby, pastor of St. Stephen Church, said his congregation is trying to create a culture in which “you’re not abnormal if you’re single.”

“One is a whole number,” he said. “You’re not a fraction.”

Continue reading “Article: Sensitivity to Singles’ Needs Grows”

Never Married 38 Year Old Christian Guy Wants to Know Why Churches Treat Him Like a Freak

Click the “more” link below to read the rest of the post

I totally related to this guy’s question. A guy calling himself “John” wrote in to the Christian television show “The 700 Club” and asked the hosts a question about why, as a 38- year- old, never- married man, so many churches have rejected him (or left him feeling rejected).

I’m just a few years older than John is, though I am a woman. I have never been married, but I wanted to be. I don’t know why I’m not married.

I have to disagree with host Pat Robertson’s reply – Robertson tells the guy, John, that the rejection is all in his head and that churches do not “reject” older singles. WRONG!

The letter writer, John, may not be “rejected” per se by churches, but most churches, and many Christians, do treat single or never- married Christians over the age of 35 and 40 differently – and that in a negative fashion.

We older, never married (single) Christians are either ignored by churches, or most Christians and churches assume that everyone over 25 years old is married with kids, or, they assume if you’re 40, you have been divorced at some stage – (wrong again, I’ve never been married).

Some Christians (the married ones) let loose with the gossip and slander against the older singles…. they assume if you’re over 35 and never married, you are some how “flawed,” a weirdo, or homosexual (none of that is true, either).

Here is a partial transcript from today’s show:
Continue reading “Never Married 38 Year Old Christian Guy Wants to Know Why Churches Treat Him Like a Freak”

Article: 30 And Single? It’s Your Own Fault

Please click the “more” link farther below to read the entire post.

I disagree with some of the positions of the “marriage mandate” crowd, including those of Debbie Maken, who wrote a book about the issue.

I intend on posting more content about the ‘marriage mandate’ perspective in the future but thought I’d start with excerpts from a good review of Maken’s book and view.

(Link): 30 and Single? It’s Your Own Fault [ by Camerin Courtney]

There are more unmarried people in our congregations than ever, and some say that’s just sinful.

From Ms. Courtney’s article:

By that October, they were engaged.

Following the path afforded by her ethnicity (she’s Indian), she [Debbie Maken] signed up with an Indian Christian Web agency to find a suitable suitor and, aided by her parents’ watchful care, started e-mailing a man in July 2001.

Now happily married and the mother of two young girls, Maken drew a map—in the form of her book, Getting Serious About Getting Married—to the Land of Marital Bliss. She hopes to prevent her daughters and countless single women across the country from having to experience any more “unnecessary protracted singleness.”

….In later chapters, she addresses the well-meaning advice handed to singles in Christian circles—such as “just wait on the Lord to bring a mate to you” or “Jesus is all you need”—and deftly explains some of the erroneous thinking and theology surrounding each.

At her best, in passages such as these, Maken gives platitude-battered single women needed permission to admit, “I’d like to get married, and that’s okay.”

Unfortunately, these bits of trend-spotting and balanced synthesis are drowning in a sea of shame and blame.

Maken seems to think a vast majority of singles view their solo status as a special gift from God (a stance I’ve seen in only a fraction of the thousands of e-mails I’ve received as a columnist for ChristianSinglesToday.com, a CT sister publication), a notion the very subtitle of the book urges them to reconsider.

Continue reading “Article: 30 And Single? It’s Your Own Fault”

The Right One – Do Unmarried Christians Only Need Jesus in Common to Marry ?

The following content was originally published on my Geocities site in December 2000.

Please click the “more” or “continue reading” link farther below to read the entire post.


Divine Guidance, Reassurance in Marriage / God Providing a Christian With A Spouse

The Right One

October 2008

I was watching Christian network TBN* a couple of nights ago, and the guest on the show I was watching is a Christian gentlemen, Mark Gungor, who is a relationship guru.

Gungor has written a book or two about marriage, and he offers marriage seminars. You can visit Mr. Gungor’s site at (Link): Laugh Your Way.com.

Mr. Gungor is a perfectly nice guy, and he’s got a great sense of humor.

I have nothing against Mr. Gungor personally.

His view point was something else altogether: it angered me and annoyed me to no end, for he stated that it is a mistake for single people, especially for Christians, to think that there is a “right person” out there for you.

Continue reading “The Right One – Do Unmarried Christians Only Need Jesus in Common to Marry ?”