Christlike or Pornlike?  A Christian Woman’s Role in Marriage

Christlike or Pornlike?  A Christian Woman’s Role in Marriage by Andrew J. Bauman and Taylor May

(Link): Christlike or Pornlike?  A Christian Woman’s Role in Marriage

Excerpts:

by Andrew J. Bauman

I am proud to be writing this article in partnership with Taylor May, a survivor of emotional and spiritual abuse. She has boldly shared her own story about what it was like to be married to someone who had a Pornographic Style of Relating, (PSR) and what it felt like to be used by him with her Church’s consent.

*Trigger warning for those who have suffered this type of betrayal trauma.


I’ve written about the pornographic style of relating here (PSR), but today we will hear from the perspective of a woman who has lived on the other side of this dynamic.

Many people have been talking about this with the release of this new book [Married Sex: A Christian Couple’s Guide to Reimagining Your Love Life by Gary Thomas] and some of its disturbing implications.

How can we talk about what these women are experiencing, and what can we learn from them?

Taylor May has offered her story and her experience below. My hope is that this can begin to clear up the muddy waters of what it means to live a Christlike marriage in a deeply pornified world.


by Taylor May

I didn’t realize how a pornographic style of relating was so deeply embedded into my first marriage until I was firmly planted into my second marriage.

That’s when I began to see the impact my first husband’s issue with lust had on my new, much healthier relationship.

Let me tell you my story, and how I and countless other women feel when our significant others lust for other women, on-screen or off.

Those of us who grew up in the evangelical Church have been told that we are responsible for men’s lust issues. This lie has been perpetrated by the church for far too long.

Many men are leading our church conversations with 90% of pastors being men, and considering that nearly 50% of those pastors self-report having used pornography, it would make sense that they would try to gaslight women by minimizing the destructive nature of porn use.

One way they do this is by framing it as a women’s issue or a sex issue, rather than the objectification of women/sin issue–one that stems from the person doing the objectifying.

Continue reading “Christlike or Pornlike?  A Christian Woman’s Role in Marriage”

Serial Killer Who Lured Victims on Dating Apps for Sex Is Caught Through Sting Operation, Sentenced to 160 Years

Serial Killer Who Lured Victims on Dating Apps for Sex Is Caught Through Sting Operation, Sentenced to 160 Years

(Link): NJ serial killer who murdered women he met for sex sentenced to 160 years

(Link): New Jersey Serial Killer Who Lured Women on Dating Apps Sentenced to 160 Years in Prison

….Prosecutors say the man [Khalil Wheeler-Weaver] had used a fake dating profile to lure and kill his victims: 20-year-old Sarah Butler, 19-year-old Robin West, and 33-year-old Joanne Brown.

Continue reading “Serial Killer Who Lured Victims on Dating Apps for Sex Is Caught Through Sting Operation, Sentenced to 160 Years”

Enraged New Yorkers Tear Down Sexually Explicit ‘OK Cupid’ Subway Ads

Enraged New Yorkers Tear Down Sexually Explicit ‘OK Cupid’ Subway Ads

(Link): Fed-up straphanger tears down ‘gross’ dating-app ads in viral video

More like “Ok Stupid.”

A fed-up New Yorker tore down lurid subway advertisements for the dating app OK Cupid.

“All of this is gross. For kids to be looking at this, is that OK??” she said in viral videos posted to Twitter on Wednesday.

The woman walked up and down the D train car, ripping the ads down — while ranting about COVID-19 and communism — as silent, masked straphangers looked on.

It’s not clear just when the video was recorded. The colorful ads began to appear on subway trains over the summer.

Continue reading “Enraged New Yorkers Tear Down Sexually Explicit ‘OK Cupid’ Subway Ads”

Someone Asks Women “What’s Their Cringy ‘Nice Guy’ Story” And The Responses Are Really Creepy (30 Posts)

Someone Asks Women “What’s Their Cringy ‘Nice Guy’ Story” And The Responses Are Really Creepy (30 Posts)

(Link):  Someone Asks Women “What’s Their Cringy ‘Nice Guy’ Story” And The Responses Are Really Creepy (30 Posts)

Excerpts:

by Liucija Adomaite and Mindaugas Balčiauskas

When taken literally, the term “nice guy” refers to someone that anyone would like: a man who is gentle, compassionate, and agreeable.

But in popular dating culture, the same term can be used to describe an insecure man who expects his kindness to be rewarded with physical affection.

Women who have an experience being friends with “a nice guy” often tell about how they manage to use their friendship with an ulterior motive to progress it to a romantic and sexual relationship.

So when someone asked on r/AskReddit “Women of Reddit, what’s your cringy ‘nice guy’ story?” the question immediately resonated, amassing 11.4k comments with various such stories.

Scroll through the cringiest and creepiest down below, and be sure to share your thoughts in the comments below!

#3.

Some guy messaged me online and seemed nice enough. Asked if I’d like to meet up with him. I said sure.

Continue reading “Someone Asks Women “What’s Their Cringy ‘Nice Guy’ Story” And The Responses Are Really Creepy (30 Posts)”

The Future of Dating is Hybrid by Erica Pandey

The Future of Dating is Hybrid by Erica Pandey

(Link): The Future of Dating is Hybrid

Social distancing popularized video dates — and they’ll outlast the pandemic.

The big picture: Dating is expensive, and many people are deciding they’d rather meet virtually first in case it doesn’t work out.

By the numbers: The average American spends a total of about $700 annually on dates, according to a 2019 LendingTree study.

“But the pandemic was a jolt to our systems,” says Logan Ury, a behavioral scientist and the director of relationship science at Hinge.

Continue reading “The Future of Dating is Hybrid by Erica Pandey”

Alabama Cop Allegedly Drugged, Raped Woman He Met on Dating Site

Alabama Cop Allegedly Drugged, Raped Woman He Met on Dating Site

Terrible.

(Link): Alabama Cop Allegedly Drugged, Raped Woman He Met on Dating Site

July 7, 2021
By Joshua Rhett Miller

An Alabama police officer allegedly drugged and raped a woman after meeting her on a dating website – and a second victim has already reached out to investigators, authorities said this week.

Officer Matthew Wilcox, 37, was arrested Saturday on charges including first-degree rape and unlawful possession of a controlled substance after a search warrant at his home led to discovery of illegal narcotics, multiple firearms and drug paraphernalia, Birmingham Police Chief Patrick Smith told reporters at a Tuesday press conference.

Continue reading “Alabama Cop Allegedly Drugged, Raped Woman He Met on Dating Site”

Nebraska Man Sentenced to Death for Strangling, Dismembering Tinder Date in Evil Group Sex Fantasy

Nebraska Man Sentenced to Death for Strangling, Dismembering Tinder Date in Evil Group Sex Fantasy

I see news stories like this one, and it makes me wonder about all the sexual hedonists out there who mock more conservative-values types who don’t engage in sex outside of marriage, or who don’t just ‘put out,’ – makes me wonder how they feel about this sort of story.

Some of these include the secular or progressive Christian feminists who mock women who remain virgins until they marry, or who don’t totally reject ‘purity culture’ teachings.

Celibate persons such as myself tend to get ridiculed by a lot of people, but I can tell you one thing – I’ll never be hacked to death for meeting up with some guy for group sex on an online app, or meeting anyone for sex. There are definitely worse things in life than going without sex.

Also, this evil wacko dude was way older than the murder victim, and we all know how I feel about “May December” relationships. 

(Link): Man Sentenced To Death After Killing Woman Because She Wanted No Part Of His Lifestyle Of Group Sex, Crime

(Link):  Nebraska Man Sentenced to Death for Strangling, Dismembering Tinder Date in Evil Group Sex Fantasy

Excerpts:

by Michael Ruiz
June 11, 2021

A Nebraska man who murdered and dismembered a young woman he met on Tinder and then slashed his own neck in court during his trial was sentenced to death this week.

Aubrey Trail, a 54-year-old thief and con man, was convicted of strangling 24-year-old Sydney Loofe with an electrical cord in 2017, then cutting her body into 14 pieces that he dumped in various rural roadside ditches.

At trial, witnesses testified that Trail and his girlfriend, Bailey Boswell, 27, had solicited them for group sex and talked of the occult and gaining “powers” through killing.

Continue reading “Nebraska Man Sentenced to Death for Strangling, Dismembering Tinder Date in Evil Group Sex Fantasy”

 The New Summer of Love: ‘People are Desperate to Have Sex – It’s Been A Long Year’ by A. Jones

 The New Summer of Love: ‘People are Desperate to Have Sex – It’s Been A Long Year’

Why are people so sex obsessed?

I’m not going to copy the whole article here to my blog, but one thing I noticed about it is that a lot of people quoted in the article are women – and they are women who talked about how much they miss having sex and would like to be having sex again.

That is definitely against moronic Christian gender complementarian teachings and assumptions that only men want sex. Complementarians assume all women lack a libido.

(Link):  The New Summer of Love: ‘People are Desperate to Have Sex – It’s Been A Long Year’

Whether single, curious or just plain horny, many people are planning to make the most of life after lockdowns. Are we ready to get up close and personal?

by A. Jones
June 5, 2021

he past year has changed 35-year-old Georgie’s outlook on dating. Several disappointing socially distanced dates and limp text exchanges meant she stopped using dating apps at the beginning of 2021.

And now her parents have been vaccinated, she feels confident about returning to physical dates, “but not to the apps”, she says. “As things open up, I’m going to lean into spontaneity; I’m going to say yes to every invitation and seize every opportunity. If I feel a connection with someone at a social gathering, a festival or even a bus stop, I’ll go and talk to them. I’m going to be way more carpe fucking diem about it.”

Continue reading ” The New Summer of Love: ‘People are Desperate to Have Sex – It’s Been A Long Year’ by A. Jones”

Dating Apps Partner With White House to Incentivize COVID-19 Vaccines

Dating Apps Partner With White House to Incentivize COVID-19 Vaccines

(Link): Dating Apps Partner With White House to Incentivize COVID-19 Vaccines

by Emily Wood

The White House has partnered with Match Group dating apps to incentivize Americans to get vaccinated by offering in-app promotions and privileges through online dating services to those who are vaccinated.

Match Group is an online dating company that owns and operates some of the leading online dating apps, which are participating in the initiative.

The apps encouraging vaccinations include Tinder, OkCupid, BLK, Hinge, Chispa, Match, Plenty of Fish, Bumble and Badoo. The campaign will launch in the coming weeks and last until July 4, according to a statement. Continue reading “Dating Apps Partner With White House to Incentivize COVID-19 Vaccines”

Why Are Young Men So Afraid of Sex? by Zoe Stimpel

Why Are Young Men So Afraid of Sex? by Zoe Stimpel

(Link): Why Are Young Men So Afraid of Sex? by Zoe Stimpel – American Spectator site – partial copy here

Excerpts:

… [After having been single again for two years (unclear if due to divorce or breakup with a boyfriend), the author of this piece decided to try various dating sites and apps and to date men ages 20 – 25; she was 38 at the time. She discusses how her conversations with these younger men start out and then end.]

…In these conversations [with younger men on dating apps], messages veer from requests for info on what you did on the weekend to requests for your life story.

Without the prospect of a drink, the conversation then dies. Or they hang forever in the ether.

On Christmas Day, no fewer than eight twentysomething men got in touch, most of them men I had met on dating apps. I’d only met three.

The rest had been kicking around in my DMs, as they say, for up to a year and seemed suddenly keen for a chat.

The third path is sexting. This is the most depressing, and fast becoming the most uncontrollable and ubiquitous, aspect of dating young men.

Continue reading “Why Are Young Men So Afraid of Sex? by Zoe Stimpel”

Man Arrested for Running a Serial Dating Scam, so He Could Get Birthday Presents All Year Long

Man Arrested for Running a Serial Dating Scam, so He Could Get Birthday Presents All Year Long

I like seeing creativity in dirt bags. He’s not a standard dirt bag, he makes some effort, shows some ingenuity.

(Link): Man Arrested for Running a Serial Dating Scam, so He Could Get Birthday Presents All Year Long

by Alex Parker

….Takashi Miyagawa was working part-time and dating 35 women — an impressive combo, to be sure.

Regrettably — brace yourselves — he wasn’t being completely upfront.

As it turns out, not only were his three-dozen ladies unaware of one another; they had no idea when Takashi had actually been born.

Continue reading “Man Arrested for Running a Serial Dating Scam, so He Could Get Birthday Presents All Year Long”

Thoughts Regarding ‘Crisis in the Christian Church: A Lack of Young, Single Men’ Essay by S. Green

Thoughts Regarding ‘Crisis in the Christian Church: A Lack of Young, Single Men’ Essay by S. Green

I will excerpt this essay from The Christian Post, which was published about a month ago, then offer my thoughts.

I will start out by saying it’s not just a lack of YOUNG men in the church, but a lack of single men of ANY age at churches that is a problem for any Christian single woman who expected to be able to find a marital partner at a church.

I remain single past my 30s and 40s. I had wanted to be married, I was taught by Christian culture and my parents that if I was just a good Christian person, prayed, and trusted in God, that I would be “sent” a Christian spouse, and that I could likely expect to meet this spouse, whoever he was, at a church.

So, over the years, in my 20s and older, I would pop into the occasional church every so often. However, any time I attended,  there were never any single men of my age, once I got into my mid or late 20s, my 30s, and my 40s.

It’s not just women in their 20s who’d like to marry, it’s women in their 30s and on up age-wise who’d like to marry. Why oh why do Christians always ignore them? It’s not fair or okay.

Never, ever focus solely on 20-something singles.

With that, here is the article – below the article, I will offer my observations:

(Link): Crisis in the Christian Church: A lack of young, single men

Excerpts:

By Solomon Green, March 4, 2021

….Churches are increasingly becoming a (Link): very unpopular [PDF document] place to meet a future wife or husband since the 1940s. The truth is, Christian Culture is dying.

…new families cannot be formed when there is a barrier of severe gender imbalance.  According to (Link): Lyman Stone’s study, a typical Sunday service has 71 eligible men to 100 eligible women.

This is an enormous problem within the Body of Christ that isn’t getting any better or going to fix itself.

New men aren’t just going to walk into churches. So how do churches fix this? Well, here are three steps to help solve the problem.

Step One: Have more Sunday sermons focused on careers, sex, and marriage. These topics are of great importance, yet are hardly covered from the pulpit …

Continue reading “Thoughts Regarding ‘Crisis in the Christian Church: A Lack of Young, Single Men’ Essay by S. Green”