The “Dating Market” Is Getting Worse by A. Fetters and K. Tiffany

The “Dating Market” Is Getting Worse b A. Fetters and K. Tiffany

For anyone who cannot wait to get to it, here’s the link to the piece on The Atlantic:

(Link): The ‘Dating Market’ Is Getting Worse

Some of my comments about that piece before I put in some excerpts from it:

About the only “numbers approach” I have ever mentioned on my own blog here is that Christian women really do unnecessarily limit themselves if they try to live out the “Be Equally Yoked” philosophy in regards to dating and marriage, because the reality is, yes, the math is that there are not enough single, Christian men to go around for all the Christian single women who’d like to marry.

So, it makes sense to forgo the “equally yoked” rule, if one is a Christian, to date outside the Christian faith.

At the same time, though, I have seen other adults singles make much too much out of the “numbers game” philosophy on dating sites or comments sections on blogs about dating, where they make finding a romantic life partner sound so cold, or as though they’re shopping for a car.

There’s nothing wrong with having standards, but I am afraid there is a category of single adult who is too stringent or unrealistic with their lists of “must haves.”

I am personally turned off by anyone dispensing dating or “how to get married” advice who behave  as though there is a sure-fire guarantee way to land a spouse – because (Link): there is no such thing.

So, I’m really turned off by the many (sexist) attitudes and lists out there telling women if only the women do X, Y, and Z, they will absolutely get married to a great guy.

One problem is that most of these lists (which go viral on Twitter) are predicated on the notion that all men want and prefer 1950s, submissive, uber-feminine women.

Well, I lived that way for many decades – I was raised in a very traditional family that was into conservative values – so I had many of those prized traits sexist men online say will grant a woman a husband, but I remain never-married into my late 40s.

I was a very meek, docile, passive, sweet woman with traditional values, and no, it didn’t get me a husband.

(As I’ve aged, I’ve realized that it’s not a healthy or safe dating strategy for a woman to fit the picture of docile, overly feminine, passive, etc, that the “dating advice” gurus suggest on twitter and elsewhere, because many abusive, selfish, or controlling men intentionally seek out women with such qualities so that they can control, abuse, or take advantage of them.)

There are many conservatives – including women authors, unfortunately – who keep writing dating advice books for women, or who go on to FOX cable news morning shows, who keep encouraging women to engage in these dangerous dating strategies (of being a doormat, where being “feminine” is associated with doormat behaviors), which I’ve written about before (Link): here and (Link): here, among other blog posts.

The article below states at one point that men out-number women on dating sites. That may be so on some sites, but certainly not all.

Years ago, I had a paid membership on a dating site, and the site was forever claiming they could find no matches for me, most of the time.

For the four or five month paid subscription I had, I was only linked up to a total of about three men in that time.

My research on that particular online dating company found it’s the same with a lot of women, as it had been for me: that site tends to only “dribble out” a tiny number of matches for women, while they send male members more matches per month, every month.

Here are excerpts from…

(Link): The ‘Dating Market’ Is Getting Worse

The old but newly popular notion that one’s love life can be analyzed like an economy is flawed—and it’s ruining romance.

It’s understandable that someone like Liz [a 30 year old single who is using dating apps to find dates] might internalize the idea that dating is a game of probabilities or ratios, or a marketplace in which single people just have to keep shopping until they find “the one.”

The idea that a dating pool can be analyzed as a marketplace or an economy is both recently popular and very old:
For generations, people have been describing newly single people as (Link): 
“back on the market” and (Link): analyzing dating in terms of supply and demand.

Continue reading “The “Dating Market” Is Getting Worse by A. Fetters and K. Tiffany”

Dating Site Bans White Supremacist From Their Site

Dating Site Bans White Supremacist From Their Site

This news story reminds me of the parody video I posted here: (Link): Westboro Dating Site Commercial (parody)

I’d rather stay single than date a White Supremacist.

Remember, my fellow singles who’d like to be married or in a relationship: there’s no point in being married to someone if that someone is a jerk, abusive, takes you for granted, or is a pervert or a white supremacist.

Singleness is preferable than being married to a trashy person.

There are worse things in life than being single.

(Link):  OKCupid bans white supremacist featured in Vice video

(Link):  Infamous Charlottesville neo-Nazi Chris Cantwell booted off dating site, rest of the internet

(Link):  OKCupid bans white supremacist from dating service

(Link):  White supremacist Chris Cantwell kicked off dating site OkCupid

(Link): OkCupid kicks out white supremacist Chris Cantwell: ‘There is no room for hate’

Excerpts:

by L. Bonos

After a (Link): Vice documentary about last weekend’s Unite the Right rally in Charlottesville featured white supremacist Chris Cantwell, he was (Link): banned from Facebook. And on Thursday, he was (Link): kicked off OkCupid as well.

Continue reading “Dating Site Bans White Supremacist From Their Site”

Personal Info of 70,000 Dating Site Users Leaked to Public Without Their Consent, Including Intimate Sexual Details

Personal Info of 70,000 Dating Site Users Leaked to Public Without Their Consent, Including Intimate Sexual Details

One of the side benefits of being a celibate is that you don’t have any private, potentially embarrassing sexual details to be made public because they don’t exist.

The researchers who dumped this data sound like real a**holes.

(Link): Scientists release personal data for 70,000 OkCupid profiles

(Link):  70,000 OkCupid Profiles Leaked, Intimate Details And All

  • by Emma Woollacott ,  CONTRIBUTOR
  • May 2016
  • The (very) personal data of 70,000 members of the dating site OKCupid has been released – not by hackers, but by university researchers.
  • The information includes everything from sexual turn-ons to drug use. And while it doesn’t identify individuals by name, it does include usernames – which may well be enough to make it possible to work out users’ real identities.
  • Danish researchers Emil Kirkegaard and Julius Bjerrekær, associated with Aarhus University, collected the data by scraping the site – arguably, perfectly legitimately.
  • Logged-in members of OKCupid can see a certain amount of information on other site users, and it would in theory be possible to trawl through the lot to put together the dataset.
  • …The researchers even say that the only reason they haven’t published users’ photos is that it would have taken up too much hard drive space.

Continue reading “Personal Info of 70,000 Dating Site Users Leaked to Public Without Their Consent, Including Intimate Sexual Details”

OkCupid Dating Site admits to setting up bad dates in ‘an experiment’

OkCupid admits to setting up bad dates in ‘an experiment’

Based upon everything I’ve ever read about OKCupid (all terrible), why would anyone want to use their site? Is it free, is that the attraction?

(Link): OK Cupid Users Upset After Company Confesses To ‘Experimenting’ On Them

(Link): Treating people like lab rats is not OK, OKCupid?

(Link): That’s Not OK, Cupid: Dating Site Says It Mismatches Members as ‘Tests’

(Link): OkCupid set up bad dates in ‘an experiment’

(Link): OkCupid unapologetic about mismatching users in dating experiment

Continue reading “OkCupid Dating Site admits to setting up bad dates in ‘an experiment’”