They Are Single And Celibate. This Facebook Group Brings Them Together

They Are Single And Celibate. This Facebook Group Brings Them Together

(Link): They Are Single And Celibate. This Facebook Group Brings Them Together

by Jamie Rogers

September 2018

Journey to Purity creates a community for minority women abstaining from sex

Shunning premarital sex may seem old-fashioned to some, but Erica Willams says nowadays celibacy is somewhat of a movement, especially among some minority women.

Williams, 30, is the founder of Journey to Purity, a nonprofit in Virginia that aims to promote celibacy in women through education and community building efforts.

The Journey to Purity Meetup group has 102 members, and is limited to women. Williams says the majority of the women are black or Latina.
For these women, celibacy is a conscience and often faith-driven choice.

Continue reading “They Are Single And Celibate. This Facebook Group Brings Them Together”

When You Fall in Love, This Is What Facebook Sees by R. Meyer

When You Fall in Love, This Is What Facebook Sees by R. Meyer

(Link): When You Fall in Love, This Is What Facebook Sees

Excerpts:

Feb 2014

“During the 100 days before the relationship starts, we observe a slow but steady increase in the number of timeline posts shared between the future couple.”

Facebook might understand your romantic prospects better than you do.

In a blog post published yesterday, the company’s team of data scientists announced that statistical evidence hints at budding relationships before the relationships start.

Continue reading “When You Fall in Love, This Is What Facebook Sees by R. Meyer”

A Stanford psychologist just disproved the oldest love advice in the book

A Stanford psychologist just disproved the oldest love advice in the book

(Link): A Stanford psychologist just disproved the oldest love advice in the book

Both science and intuition suggest that we choose our friends and romantic partners because we share things in common, such as age, educational level, race, religion, attitudes, and general intelligence.

But what role does personality play in attraction? Are conscientious people drawn to conscientious people? Extroverts to extroverts?

Until recently no one really knew, says Michal Kosinski, an assistant professor of organizational behavior at Stanford Graduate School of Business.

Continue reading “A Stanford psychologist just disproved the oldest love advice in the book”

Country and Classic Rock Music Fans Get The Most Action on Dating Site, A New Survey Finds

Country and Classic Rock Music Fans Get The Most Action on Dating Site, A New Survey Finds

(Link): Country and classic rock fans get the most action on Plenty of Fish, a new survey finds

Excerpts:

by Nicole Lyn Peace

…Men who list country music as an interest on their Plenty of Fish dating profile receive 32% more messages from singles looking to mingle, while women who let their hair down to classic rock like Led Zeppelin, Queen and The Rolling Stones are 68% more likely to strike a chord with someone special, according to a new survey.

The online dating service scrolled through more than 9 million POF profiles to study the dating success of musically-minded singles on the app.

And it found male country music lovers have something to sing about.

Not only do they receive more in-app messages, but they are also 65% more likely to find their match on the app — perhaps because potential partners recognize that these cowboys are 49% less likely to be looking for just a quick hookup. (No wonder Blake Shelton is People’s Sexiest Man Alive for 2017; hold onto him, Gwen Stefani.)

Continue reading “Country and Classic Rock Music Fans Get The Most Action on Dating Site, A New Survey Finds”

Online Dating Study Says You’re Aiming Out Of Your League

Online Dating Study Says You’re Aiming Out Of Your League

This has always been more of a problem with men than with women.

I disagree with their study – the study, according to one article, says men have some success if they approach women out of their league.

Oh good lord no, don’t publish that – it will only encourage the losers, weirdos, or physically undeseireable to approach women more than they already do by giving them some kind of false hope. And that’s annoying.

This was especially a problem for me when I was college-aged – all the dorky guys who I had no interest in dating at all who would approach me thinking they had a shot, and they would not take “no” for an answer. They thought my “no” meant “try again, you can wear me down, and I’ll go out with you.”

(Link): Dude, She’s (Exactly 25 Percent) Out of Your League

Excerpts:

A massive new study of online dating finds that everyone dates aspirationally—and that a woman’s desirability peaks 32 years before a man’s does.

by Robinson Meyer

At this point, Elizabeth Bruch, a professor of sociology at the University of Michigan, crashes in to your thought process (and this news article).

Yep, she says. Leagues do seem to exist.

But you’re not alone in trying to escape yours: “Three-quarters, or more, of people are dating aspirationally,” she says. And according to a new study, users of online-dating sites spend most of their time trying to contact people “out of their league.”

In fact, most online-dating users tend to message people exactly 25 percent more desirable than they are.

Continue reading “Online Dating Study Says You’re Aiming Out Of Your League”

Majority of Heterosexuals Say They Won’t Date Trans Folk and That’s Discrimination Somehow – by Brett T.

Majority of Heterosexuals Say They Won’t Date Trans Folk and That’s Discrimination Somehow – by Brett T.

(Link): Majority of Heterosexuals Say They Won’t Date Trans Folk and That’s Discrimination Somehow – by Brett T.

Zhana Vrangalova late last month wrote a piece for Them about the results of a study by two Canadian researchers that showed that the vast majority of cisgender people (those who identify as their biological sex) would not consider dating a trans person, and that is just another example of the discrimination trans people suffer.

Of 958 participants in the study, only 12 percent said they would consider dating a trans woman or trans man.

Continue reading “Majority of Heterosexuals Say They Won’t Date Trans Folk and That’s Discrimination Somehow – by Brett T.”

Married To Person With Kid From Previous Marriage: Guy Says His Wife is Putting Her Son Before Their Marriage – on Not Wanting to Date Single Parents

Married To Person With Kid From Previous Marriage: Guy Says His Wife is Putting Her Son Before Their Marriage – On Not Wanting to Date Single Parents

This following letter to an advice columnist (which is linked to and excerpted much farther down this blog post) is interesting, because I guarantee you had the guy written to “Ask Amy” of the “Ask Amy” column with the same concern, Amy would  not have been sympathetic to the guy.

Amy would’ve raked him over the coals for not oozing with love and compassion for the misbehaving stepchild.

Amy, as I’ve seen, always sides with the kids or the biological parent.

If you are a person married to someone who has a bratty kid who is driving you crazy (and even to the point of wanting to divorce!), Amy will shame you terribly over it.

Amy will scream and yell about you being selfish, and she will ask you to empathize with the misbehaving, rotten kid.

(That I can recall in all my years of reading her advice column, Amy has never shown empathy to the adult who is stressed and whose marriage is strained over a hard- to- handle step-child.)

This advice columnist,  though, takes the opposite approach and blames the biological mother; he holds her accountable for the poor marital dynamics.

Continue reading “Married To Person With Kid From Previous Marriage: Guy Says His Wife is Putting Her Son Before Their Marriage – on Not Wanting to Date Single Parents”

Ask Amy: These Sex-Crazed Weirdos Turned Me Off Internet Dating

Ask Amy: These Sex-Crazed Weirdos Turned Me Off Internet Dating

Hey, me too! I was also turned off of internet dating because of all the sex-crazed and vulgar weirdos who were on the dating sites.

Self-professing Christian men I came across on dating sites were so disgusting. They had crass, sexually charged jokes in their profiles, some of them stated sexual preferences right up front in the early stages of online dating or had such things listed on their profiles, so I gave up on dating sites.

I had a few other reasons why I gave up on online dating, but that was one of them.

(Link):  Ask Amy: These Sex-Crazed Weirdos Turned Me Off Internet Dating

(alt link)

DEAR AMY:

I am just coming out of an eight-year relationship with a man I met through an internet dating site.

Back then, all of my friends (and therapist) were aggressively urging me toward internet dating. I said I would try it for a month.

Before the month was up, I met “Don.”

Although the “plus” of this experience was meeting Don, I felt the rest of it was awful. I met a number of “single” men who were married.

I met a number of “50- and 60-” year-olds who were actually in their 70s or 80s.

Continue reading “Ask Amy: These Sex-Crazed Weirdos Turned Me Off Internet Dating”

23 Tweets That Accurately Capture The Hell That Is Modern Dating by B. Wong

23 Tweets That Accurately Capture The Hell That Is Modern Dating

(Link): 23 Tweets That Accurately Capture The Hell That Is Modern Dating

Face it: If you don’t laugh about your dating life (or lack thereof), you’re probably going to cry. It gets that bad sometimes.

Below, we’ve compiled 23 relatable tweets that truly, madly, deeply capture the experience of dating these days.

Tweet one:

touc schrute@aspiringtoucan

i don’t get how u cheat on a significant other. like how do you get 2 different ppl to like u. how
///——///

I wonder that too. Or those movie stars that have been married any where from 3 to 8 times, with 7 to 8 different people.

Here is my personal favorite from the list:

Crystal @25Average_

There’s plenty of fish in the sea but you know what else there is? TRASH. There is a lot of trash in the sea.
///——///

Continue reading “23 Tweets That Accurately Capture The Hell That Is Modern Dating by B. Wong”

8 Signs Being Single And Not Dating Is The Right Choice For You, According To Experts

8 Signs Being Single And Not Dating Is The Right Choice For You, According To Experts

(Link) 8 Signs Being Single And Not Dating Is The Right Choice For You, According To Experts

Excerpts:

For some singles, dating and pursuing relationships — either in a casual or more serious context — can be a fun and fulfilling experience.

But being single and not dating is a totally healthy lifestyle choice, too… it just isn’t one that’s often represented in our culture. Society puts a lot of pressure on singles to settle downand find “The One,” but the truth is that you should never feel obligated to pursue a romantic relationship for any reason.

 “While a healthy relationship is certainly a beautiful thing, there are also plenty of (Link): benefits to staying single as well,” Logan Cohen, LMFT-S, tells Bustle. “Someone who is single can have their immediate surroundings reflect their specific needs MUCH more consistently than if in a partnership. Single people also have a lot more time to develop their platonic social network, grow professionally, and even do their own personal growth work while not being distracted by the concerns of a partner.”

Continue reading “8 Signs Being Single And Not Dating Is The Right Choice For You, According To Experts”

Man Steals Car From Date To Go On Another Date

Man Steals Car From Date To Go On Another Date

(Link):  Memphis man ‘steals his date’s car’ to go on another one… with her GODSISTER

(Link): Man steals date’s car, then uses it for another date

(Link): Man Steals Care From Date To Go On Another Date

July 2018

A woman in Memphis says her date stole her car so that he could take out another woman.

Faith Pugh says it happened on Saturday when she went to meet Kelton Griffin for dinner.

Continue reading “Man Steals Car From Date To Go On Another Date”

The Dating Swamp: How Finding Love in DC May Be Impossible For Young Trump and GOP Staffers – Liberals Hypocritically Insist You Date Transgender Persons But Not Trump Voters

The Dating Swamp: How Finding Love in DC May Be Impossible For Young Trump and GOP Staffers – Liberals Hypocritically Insist You Date Transgender Persons But Not Trump Voters

(Disclaimer: I personally did not vote for anyone in the 2016 Presidential race, because I did not care for any of the candidates)

Wait. I’m confused.

Most Liberals insist other people date not based on personal preferences but on political correctness.

So, for example, pro-Trans activist Liberals yell and scream at CIS Lesbian women to date Trans women, even though many lesbians have made it clear they prefer to date other CIS (lesbian) women.

But now, liberals are not willing to date Republicans or Trump voters? They will supposedly date, or advocate that others date, people with penises who claim to be women, but they won’t date Republicans or whomever or whatever differing political persuasion? What?

(Link): The Dating Swamp: How Finding Love in DC May Be Impossible For Young Trump and GOP Staffers

Excerpts:

Trying to find love in D.C. can be tricky. If you’re a young Trump administration staffer, it might be near impossible.

GOP employees and other right-wingers have been complaining that dating in one of the most Democratic cities in America is a political minefield.

They’ve been called out, flipped off and told they are personally responsible for the death of democracy.

One 29-year-old lobbyist told Fox News that learning to date in a Trump world is “absolutely insane.”

 “It’s getting so bad,” the lobbyist, who asked to remain anonymous because she works with the administration, said.

Continue reading “The Dating Swamp: How Finding Love in DC May Be Impossible For Young Trump and GOP Staffers – Liberals Hypocritically Insist You Date Transgender Persons But Not Trump Voters”

The Unfortunate Anti-Virginity Fall-Out from Christian Misogynist Lori Alexander’s Wacky “Debt Free Virgins Without Tattoos” Post – The Problem is Not Supporting Virginity, It’s Complementarianism

The Unfortunate Anti-Virginity Fall-Out from Christian Misogynist Lori Alexander’s  Wacky “Debt Free Virgins Without Tattoos” Post – The Problem is Not Supporting Virginity, It’s Complementarianism

Updated:

Lori Alexander has posted this (unhelpful) clarification of her post (about “Debt Free Virgins with Tattoos”) on an ultra-conservative political forum:

(Link): Godly Men Prefer Debt Free Virgins Without Tattoos – by Lori Alexander, on Free Republic

Her new aspect is to add the word “Godly” prior to the word “Men,” as if that makes it less obnoxious or wrong, but it does not.

I used to lurk at the Free Republic site, back in my more conservative days, but I’m not surprised to see most of the posters under Alexander’s post on that site actually agreeing with it.

Of course they do.

I’m still a conservative, but I’m no longer off the reservation about it, as the Freepers are on some things, like on this topic.


The Unfortunate Anti- Virginity Fall Out Due to Lori Alexander’s “Debt Free Virgin” Post

If you’d like more background to this post, and an explanation for who Lori Alexander is, please see my previous post about it here:

(Link): Reflections On Lori Alexander’s Debt Free Virgins Without Tattoos

If you are new to my blog, a recap:

I am over 45 years of age and still a virgin.

I was reserving sexual activity for marriage. I’ve never had sexual intercourse. I was expecting to be married but never found Mr. Right.

I do have a libido.

Contrary to what Christians ASSUME about older virgins, Celibacy, being sexually abstinent for as long as I’ve been, is not “a gift” where God granted it to me and supernaturally removed my libido and makes it easy-breezy to cope with.

For many years, I was dedicated to remaining a virgin until marriage, due to Christian ethics, (these days I’m semi-agnostic), but also due to other reasons as well, which I shall not get into here but have explained in older posts on the blog.

In the last ten or so years, I’ve seen a disturbing trend where secular, liberal feminist views about sex have trickled into liberal Christian corners, where there is much railing against “slut shaming” and there is strong opposition to judging any woman for her sexual behavior or choices.

This trend became so common that these same views, disturbingly, began appearing on liberal Christian blogs and sites, whose progressive, feminist, Christian authors began writing editorials saying virginity is of no import, God only cares about your heart and spiritual purity, and God does not care so much anyone’s sexual behavior, (Link): intact hymen, or sexual past.

This anti- sexual purity thinking (which includes the down-playing, condemning, or mocking of physical virginity and adult celibacy) has even crept into mainstream moderate- to- conservative churches and Christian writing and thinking, unfortunately.

Continue reading “The Unfortunate Anti-Virginity Fall-Out from Christian Misogynist Lori Alexander’s Wacky “Debt Free Virgins Without Tattoos” Post – The Problem is Not Supporting Virginity, It’s Complementarianism”

Reflections On Lori Alexander’s Debt Free Virgins Without Tattoos (post updated)

Reflections On Lori Alexander’s Debt Free Virgins Without Tattoos

(Post updated below.)


I used to be a gender complementarian, and I wrote about that in (Link): this post.  I rejected complementarianism many years ago.

Lori Alexander is an extremist Christian gender complementarian (some may consider her more of a patriarchalist, I suppose) who has a Facebook group and a blog called “The Transformed Wife,” where she dispenses what many consider to be extremely toxic, harmful, and sexist advice to women, which makes most women want to gag or vomit.

Lori Alexander recently wrote a post called something like, “[Men Find] Debt Free Virgins Without Tattoos [More Attractive].”

If you are new to my blog, a little about myself, so you can see my qualifications for addressing Mrs. Alexander’s commentary:

I was a conservative Christian for many years and a gender complementarian until around the age of 35. I am currently between the ages of 45 and 50 and am still a virgin (that’s right, I’ve never had sex, not even when I was a college student).

I was committed to the idea of waiting until marriage to have sex, and I never found “Mr. Right,” ergo, I never had sex.

I attended college, which my father paid for (thanks, dad!), so I never had any student debt.

I have a college degree.

I’ve never had any tattoos. I’ve also never drank alcohol, smoked, or abused drugs.

Someone on Twitter posted (Link): these screen captures of posts by Lori Alexander. In those screen caps, Alexander is recorded as writing the following (which I will critique below):

By Lori Alexander (“The Transformed Wife”)

Do you know how much more attractive debt-free virgins (without tattoos) are to young men?

Unfortunately, there are so few of these types of young women anymore because of the high costs of college (debt) and sexual promiscuity even within those in the church. [snip URL Alexander cites to her blog post on this subject]

— end Lori Alexander quotes–

A summary of my conclusions and opinions on this matter:
Mrs. Alexander, you are simply incorrect. I am a virgin, I don’t have any tattoos,  I have no debt, for many years I was the epitome of the good, godly, sweet, demure, lady-like complementarian, I’ve never identified as feminist – but none of that enabled me to catch a husband, Christian or otherwise. I remain single past the age of 45.

There are no guarantees that a woman will gain a spouse if only she follows a certain set of dating advice or rules, such as… prays for a spouse, “trusts the Lord” for a spouse, follows complementarian teachings, refrains from attending college, or refrains from receiving a tattoo or dabbling in feminism.

Continue reading “Reflections On Lori Alexander’s Debt Free Virgins Without Tattoos (post updated)”

Woman Sues Dating Agency After They Fail to Find Her a Rich Husband

Woman Sues Dating Agency After They Fail to Find Her a Rich Husband

I do think that some dating sites (or agencies) are guilty of what this woman claims – she said before she paid up to join, the dating agency showed her photos of eligible men that she was interested in, but once she paid them money, they didn’t match her up with those men.

Back when a friend talked me into joining dating sites, I joined one and paid for a few months. During that time, I was sent about one match per month. The minute my membership expired, the site stopped sending me matches.

This went on for a few years until I just deleted my profile on there. I think they had plenty of matches for me but didn’t want to set me up with them until and unless I paid up membership fees again.

(Link): Woman Sues Dating Agency After They Fail to Find Her a Rich Husband

June 2018

A woman is suing an ‘exclusive’ dating agency for damages after she failed to find a rich husband to have a child with.

Tereza Burki, 46, went to Seventy Thirty Ltd in a hunt for ‘possibly the man of my dreams, the father of my child’, she told The High Court.

But the divorced mum-of-three claims she was let down by the agency, which she says enticed her with extravagant marketing claims about how many ‘wealthy, eligible, available men’ it had on its books.

The management consultant is now suing the agency for return of the £12,600 membership fee she paid and additional damages for ‘distress, upset, disappointment and frustration.

The Knightsbridge-based agency – which claims on its website to be the ‘ultimate network of influential and exceptional single people’ – is is counter-suing for £75,000, claiming libel over scathing reviews she published online.

They said that out of 9,000 clients they had on their books, 70 of them fit Miss Burki’s criteria. Each of these had a ‘high net worth’ and she was offered six matches, all who were in the same age bracket and were open to having children.

Continue reading “Woman Sues Dating Agency After They Fail to Find Her a Rich Husband”

Codependence Is Not Oneness: What Christians Get Wrong About Relationships

Codependence Is Not Oneness: What Christians Get Wrong About Relationships

Some Christians – most conservative ones – teach something called “Gender Complementarianism” which instills codependent behaviors in girls, and also encourages adult women to behave in a codependent fashion, which is not healthy for relationships. But complementarians like to insist this is “biblical,” but it’s really not.

Of course, secular culture – Hollywood in particular – love to teach people that they are incomplete until and unless they find that one special “someone,” a romantic partner, and get married. So, secular culture is not necessarily any better at this than Christian culture.

Most Christian dating or marital advice is horrible, but this page was pretty good.

(Link): Codependence Is Not Oneness: What Christians Get Wrong About Relationships

Excerpts:

BY DEBRA K. FILETA
JUNE 6, 2018
4 MINUTE READ

Many people believe they have fallen in love, only to realize their “love” is based on need—a need to be wanted, a need to be valued, a need to be affirmed. A need to be taken care of, to be nurtured, to be kept safe.

“Need love” drives you toward someone out of desperation, insecurities, and fear.

Continue reading “Codependence Is Not Oneness: What Christians Get Wrong About Relationships”

People Reveal Secrets They Never Share On A First Date

People Reveal Secrets They Never Share On A First Date

(Link):  People reveal the secrets they NEVER share on a first date – from working as a stripper to living in their mother’s basement

Excerpts:

Everyone holds back to a certain degree while testing the waters with a new potential love interest on a first date, but some are keeping bigger secrets than others.

People from around the world have taken to the anonymous secret sharing app Whisper to share the truths about themselves they don’t dare reveal when they first meet someone they like.

Continue reading “People Reveal Secrets They Never Share On A First Date”

I Want Everyone to Stop Following This Terrible Piece of Dating Advice – Single Men: Stop Telling Women ‘You Don’t Know What You’re Looking For Right Now’ by M. Del Russo

I Want Everyone to Stop Following This Terrible Piece of Dating Advice – Single Men: Stop Telling Women ‘You Don’t Know What You’re Looking For Right Now’ by M. Del Russo

(Link): I Want Everyone to Stop Following This Terrible Piece of Dating Advice by M Del Russo

Excerpts:

[Author describes how she met a guy named Paul, they exchanged numbers and texted one another to set up a date]

… And then, the night before we were set to go out, I got a text message that has become eerily familiar.

In it, Paul let me know that he was really excited to meet me, but that he didn’t really know what he was looking for right now.

He wasn’t sure he was open to a romantic relationship, but he still really wanted to meet me to see where things went.

The air immediately went out of my sails.  It wasn’t like I’d imagined running away into the sunset with Paul, but this guy was basically rejecting me before he even got to know me. He was laying down an excuse as to why he was going to bail on me emotionally in a few months.

I decided not to meet Paul after that text, and when I recounted the story to my then-coworker, she exclaimed that she’d heard it before. “It’s like someone told men to be upfront, and they’ve taken it to the hundredth degree,” she said.

Continue reading “I Want Everyone to Stop Following This Terrible Piece of Dating Advice – Single Men: Stop Telling Women ‘You Don’t Know What You’re Looking For Right Now’ by M. Del Russo”

Online Dating Lowers Self- Esteem and Increases Depression, (2018) Studies Say

Online Dating Lowers Self- Esteem and Increases Depression, (2018) Studies Say

(Link): Online Dating Lowers Self- Esteem and Increases Depression, Studies Say

Excerpts:

(CNN) Before there were smartphones, singles would often go to bars or clubs and try to meet “the One,” or at least the one for that night. Alcohol-induced courage and a steep bar tab later, singles were on top of their game or it was “game over” — until the next weekend.

…Dating apps are only growing in popularity, with no sign of slowing. Match.com has more than 7 million paid subscribers, an increase from 3.4 million in 2014. According to Tinder, the app generates 1.6 billion swipes per day, leading to 1.5 million dates (an average of one or two per user) a week.

Continue reading “Online Dating Lowers Self- Esteem and Increases Depression, (2018) Studies Say”

Tinder Murder: Boxer Killed and Dismembered Date Because She Lied About Being A Virgin

Tinder Murder: Boxer Killed and Dismembered Date Because She Lied About Being A Virgin

What a nut.

(Link): Tinder Murder: Boxer Killed and Dismembered Date Because She Liked About Being A Virgin

May 2018

Gary Chu is believed to have killed Yee-min Huang after the pair met on the dating app – before going on to kill himself.

Detectives said Chu, 28, is believed to have murdered her in a jealous rage after finding out she was not a virgin.

Officers also suspect Huang, 27, had been cheating on him at the time of the killing.

Continue reading “Tinder Murder: Boxer Killed and Dismembered Date Because She Lied About Being A Virgin”