Someone Asks Women “What’s Their Cringy ‘Nice Guy’ Story” And The Responses Are Really Creepy (30 Posts)

Someone Asks Women “What’s Their Cringy ‘Nice Guy’ Story” And The Responses Are Really Creepy (30 Posts)

(Link):  Someone Asks Women “What’s Their Cringy ‘Nice Guy’ Story” And The Responses Are Really Creepy (30 Posts)

Excerpts:

by Liucija Adomaite and Mindaugas Balčiauskas

When taken literally, the term “nice guy” refers to someone that anyone would like: a man who is gentle, compassionate, and agreeable.

But in popular dating culture, the same term can be used to describe an insecure man who expects his kindness to be rewarded with physical affection.

Women who have an experience being friends with “a nice guy” often tell about how they manage to use their friendship with an ulterior motive to progress it to a romantic and sexual relationship.

So when someone asked on r/AskReddit “Women of Reddit, what’s your cringy ‘nice guy’ story?” the question immediately resonated, amassing 11.4k comments with various such stories.

Scroll through the cringiest and creepiest down below, and be sure to share your thoughts in the comments below!

#3.

Some guy messaged me online and seemed nice enough. Asked if I’d like to meet up with him. I said sure.

Continue reading “Someone Asks Women “What’s Their Cringy ‘Nice Guy’ Story” And The Responses Are Really Creepy (30 Posts)”

The “Dating Market” Is Getting Worse by A. Fetters and K. Tiffany

The “Dating Market” Is Getting Worse b A. Fetters and K. Tiffany

For anyone who cannot wait to get to it, here’s the link to the piece on The Atlantic:

(Link): The ‘Dating Market’ Is Getting Worse

Some of my comments about that piece before I put in some excerpts from it:

About the only “numbers approach” I have ever mentioned on my own blog here is that Christian women really do unnecessarily limit themselves if they try to live out the “Be Equally Yoked” philosophy in regards to dating and marriage, because the reality is, yes, the math is that there are not enough single, Christian men to go around for all the Christian single women who’d like to marry.

So, it makes sense to forgo the “equally yoked” rule, if one is a Christian, to date outside the Christian faith.

At the same time, though, I have seen other adults singles make much too much out of the “numbers game” philosophy on dating sites or comments sections on blogs about dating, where they make finding a romantic life partner sound so cold, or as though they’re shopping for a car.

There’s nothing wrong with having standards, but I am afraid there is a category of single adult who is too stringent or unrealistic with their lists of “must haves.”

I am personally turned off by anyone dispensing dating or “how to get married” advice who behave  as though there is a sure-fire guarantee way to land a spouse – because (Link): there is no such thing.

So, I’m really turned off by the many (sexist) attitudes and lists out there telling women if only the women do X, Y, and Z, they will absolutely get married to a great guy.

One problem is that most of these lists (which go viral on Twitter) are predicated on the notion that all men want and prefer 1950s, submissive, uber-feminine women.

Well, I lived that way for many decades – I was raised in a very traditional family that was into conservative values – so I had many of those prized traits sexist men online say will grant a woman a husband, but I remain never-married into my late 40s.

I was a very meek, docile, passive, sweet woman with traditional values, and no, it didn’t get me a husband.

(As I’ve aged, I’ve realized that it’s not a healthy or safe dating strategy for a woman to fit the picture of docile, overly feminine, passive, etc, that the “dating advice” gurus suggest on twitter and elsewhere, because many abusive, selfish, or controlling men intentionally seek out women with such qualities so that they can control, abuse, or take advantage of them.)

There are many conservatives – including women authors, unfortunately – who keep writing dating advice books for women, or who go on to FOX cable news morning shows, who keep encouraging women to engage in these dangerous dating strategies (of being a doormat, where being “feminine” is associated with doormat behaviors), which I’ve written about before (Link): here and (Link): here, among other blog posts.

The article below states at one point that men out-number women on dating sites. That may be so on some sites, but certainly not all.

Years ago, I had a paid membership on a dating site, and the site was forever claiming they could find no matches for me, most of the time.

For the four or five month paid subscription I had, I was only linked up to a total of about three men in that time.

My research on that particular online dating company found it’s the same with a lot of women, as it had been for me: that site tends to only “dribble out” a tiny number of matches for women, while they send male members more matches per month, every month.

Here are excerpts from…

(Link): The ‘Dating Market’ Is Getting Worse

The old but newly popular notion that one’s love life can be analyzed like an economy is flawed—and it’s ruining romance.

It’s understandable that someone like Liz [a 30 year old single who is using dating apps to find dates] might internalize the idea that dating is a game of probabilities or ratios, or a marketplace in which single people just have to keep shopping until they find “the one.”

The idea that a dating pool can be analyzed as a marketplace or an economy is both recently popular and very old:
For generations, people have been describing newly single people as (Link): 
“back on the market” and (Link): analyzing dating in terms of supply and demand.

Continue reading “The “Dating Market” Is Getting Worse by A. Fetters and K. Tiffany”

25 Women Reveal Their Biggest Dating Profile Dealbreakers

25 Women Reveal Their Biggest Dating Profile Dealbreakers

It seems to me that most of the real-life examples listed below are by 20-something singles.

I would hope to god that nobody over the age of 35 is behaving in the manner that some of these women are describing.  Though I personally have seen men on dating sites, age 40 and up, guilty of a few of these (below this list, I’ll paste in and comment about a few of the over age 35 morons I ran into on dating sites).

(Link): 25 Women Reveal Their Biggest Dating Profile Dealbreakers

Excerpts:

….In a recent AskReddit thread, women shared examples of the biggest dating profile dealbreakers that they’ve come across, and their responses are super enlightening for anyone who’s nervous that their bio is scaring off potential matches.

But remember: even the most seasoned online dating vets make mistakes and experience rejection sometimes, so there’s no point in beating yourself up over a failed relationship attempt.

All you can do is make sure you’re putting your best virtual foot forward, and wait patiently until you meet someone you really connect with.

Here are 25 examples of things some women don’t want to see in dating profiles.

….Gross Sexual Usernames

Having usernames like “big dick” or “likes to lick”

Badmouthing Your Exes

If your entire profile is a rant about how much you loathe your ex, we’re going to assume you’re not really over them.

Insulting Women on the Site

Anything that insults women or implies they see themselves as the majority of women on there. That might be the case (doubtful) but just don’t swipe away if you’re not interested.

“Where are the nice girls on here”

“Duck faces and posers need not apply”

“Sick of girls on here who aren’t genuine”

On a similar note, insulting your potential matches by making assumptions about them (as if all women on dating apps are the same) is a huge red flag.

Laying Out All Your Baggage

“I’m not trying to get hurt anymore. Seems like all the good guys get treated like shit. My last girlfriend was cheating on me so I’m a little insecure right now. Please don’t be one of these fake girls who’s just gonna hurt me and fuck my friends behind my back.”

Uhhhhhhh, your baggage is way too heavy. I can just picture getting back to back text messages round the clock if I don’t respond immediately and getting called out of my name if I want to go out with friends

Continue reading “25 Women Reveal Their Biggest Dating Profile Dealbreakers”

Nice Guys Aren’t So Nice After All: Men in the “Friend Zone” Often Have A Hidden Agenda, Say Psychologists (Daily Mail article)

Nice Guys Aren’t So Nice After All: Men in the “Friend Zone” Often Have A Hidden Agenda, Say Psychologists (Daily Mail article)

No kidding. I can’t believe someone had to do a study about it. Women have known this for ages.

(Link): Nice Guys Aren’t So Nice After All: Men in the “Friend Zone” Often Have A Hidden Agenda, Say Psychologists

Dec 20, 2016

By Cecile Borkhataria

  • ‘Nice guys’ is usually made fun of for being unattractive, shy and clingy
  • They don’t voice their feelings, instead hoping women will fall for their kindness
  • But one psychologists suggest that nice guys  in the friend zone aren’t actually that nice and ‘they feel entitled to women’, and are narcissists as a result

Many men in the ‘friend zone’ may seem kind, caring and affectionate – but one psychologist has warned they have a hidden agenda.

Dr Scott Kaufman says men with the ‘Nice Guy Syndrome’ who are often relegated to the friend zone often have a sense of entitlement, and so are likely to be narcissists.

Continue reading “Nice Guys Aren’t So Nice After All: Men in the “Friend Zone” Often Have A Hidden Agenda, Say Psychologists (Daily Mail article)”

Love-Sick Teenager Who Won’t Take No For an Answer is Finally Shut Down by his Ex-Girlfriend’s FATHER in an Epic Text Exchange – Men of All Ages Need To Learn to Handle Rejection and to Respect Other People’s Boundaries in Dating

Love-Sick Teenager Who Won’t Take No For an Answer is Finally Shut Down by his Ex-Girlfriend’s FATHER in an Epic Text Exchange – Men of All Ages Need To Learn to Handle Rejection and to Respect Other People’s Boundaries in Dating

If there are any MEN reading this – especially men over the age of 21 – you need to realize that some of you are just as bad in your online behavior, especially on dating sites and apps, as this 15 year old kid is.

See how obnoxiously persistent this teen kid is, how he keeps dragging this exchange on and on with the teen girl’s father? This is how 90% of you men over the age of 21 behave towards grown women online, especially on dating sites.

You men refuse to take “no” from women for an answer, or to choose to view a woman turning you down as the ultimate insult.

You men take rejection by women far too personally, and send negative, nasty, insulting comments to some women, all for merely politely turning you down on a site, for refusing to give you their number, or going on a date with you.

Women you don’t know (single women) don’t owe you squat in life – women don’t owe you a smile, flirtation, chit chat, their phone numbers, sex, emotional support, or dates.

You will be turned down as you go through life by various women you flirt with or ask on dates – it’s a reality. Get over it. Learn to let go, accept defeat graciously, and stop taking it so damn personally.

Learn to respect other people’s boundaries. If a woman or girl tells you “no” or “not interested,” just let it go. Don’t send the girl or woman nasty, insulting messages if or when she turns you down. Just move along.

Continue reading “Love-Sick Teenager Who Won’t Take No For an Answer is Finally Shut Down by his Ex-Girlfriend’s FATHER in an Epic Text Exchange – Men of All Ages Need To Learn to Handle Rejection and to Respect Other People’s Boundaries in Dating”

‘It’s Not Me, It’s You’: A Loser’s Guide to Dealing with Rejection by The Guyliner

‘It’s Not Me, It’s You’: A Loser’s Guide to Dealing with Rejection by The Guyliner

(Link): ‘It’s not me, it’s you’: a loser’s guide to dealing with rejection by The Guyliner

Excerpts:

Advances in technology, and the urge to express ourselves as loudly as possible, mean rejection has never been so easy to dole out. Swiping left on Tinder, blocking on Twitter, marching to the polling booth: a firm no is never far away, but the bitter sting never fails to shock.

We’ve witnessed an unusually high level of public rejection over the last few turbulent weeks, from politicians discovering their posses were lacking compadres and feeling their ambition turn to ash in their mouths, to the much-maligned EU, sadly opening its Dear John letter from 52% of the UK, all calls going straight to voicemail.

Rejection can teach you a lot about yourself and those around you. “No” may never be music to your ears, but you can learn to take it with dignity. Or, at the very least, store up ample fuel for your revenge.

….On a dating app

“Why don’t they love me?” I’d cry when I was single, throwing myself on to a fainting couch whenever someone I’d contacted didn’t reciprocate.

Continue reading “‘It’s Not Me, It’s You’: A Loser’s Guide to Dealing with Rejection by The Guyliner”

This Is Why Being a Nice Guy Just Isn’t Enough by E. Tatum / Double Standards By The Anti-Celibacy Crowd About Friendships and Sexualization of Everything

This Is Why Being a Nice Guy Just Isn’t Enough by E. Tatum / Double Standards By The Anti-Celibacy Crowd About Friendships and Sexualization of Everything

You’ll have to use the link below to read the entire page entitled, “This Is Why Being a Nice Guy Just Isn’t Enough”, because I don’t want to copy their entire post here on my blog.

One thing I want to point out is a bit of a double standard going on here.

First of all, I first became aware of this “Nice Guys” article by way of Facebook group SCCL (Stuff Christian Culture Likes). Sometimes I agree with some of this group’s views on some issues, sometimes I do not.

SCCL is a group that regularly mocks or criticizes the traditional Christian position of upholding or defending the notions of celibacy, or of being a virgin until marriage – sometimes these concepts are all lumped together by them, and by others elsewhere on the internet, under the term “purity culture”.

I have argued on my blog the last few years that it is possible to be celibate, to refrain from having sex, and for men and women to be platonic friends.

I have also argued that it is society, both secular culture, as well as conservative and progressive Christian culture, and most secular feminism, which perpetuates the sexualization all male-female relationships (or even male-male, or female-female relationships).

For doing all this, for defending my choice, or the choice of others to be celibate, and for pointing out that not everything in life has to be sexual or is about sex, I sometimes get insulted or mocked by other people on the internet.

Everyone from secular feminists, to ex-Christians, to conservative Christians, to atheists (yes, ’tis so, click here to read), to political liberals, to political conservatives insult me or ridicule me for all this.

All these groups, who normally loathe each other – the atheists cannot stand conservative Christians, the liberals don’t like the conservatives and so on- all never- the- less totally agree that there is something bad, wrong, or weird about adults who choose to stay celibate, whatever their reason.

All these disparate groups fight like cats on dogs on many other topics, but they all come into agreement on this: they despise and ridicule celibacy (and sometimes, asexuality).

Do these people in these groups ever stop to consider, “Hey, other groups I normally disagree with on fundamental life choices happen to share with me a suspicion, dislike, or fear of celibacy, does this mean something, like maybe I’ve been wrong in my views about celibacy?”

I think it does. That your arch enemy chooses to fight with you on all other issues yet mocks celibacy right along with you might indicate that both of you are either misinformed about celibacy or terribly biased against celibates. Yeah, you might want to ponder that one for awhile.

There are more comments by me below this long excerpt:

(Link): This Is Why Being a Nice Guy Just Isn’t Enough by E. Tatum

Excerpts:

  • There are a lot of really wonderful, well-intentioned men who have a difficult time understanding the difference between being nice to women and being an ally to women and women’s causes.
  • Then there are other men who pretend to be nice in order to validate their manipulation of women for sex and romance. These are the people who I like to refer to as Nice Guys.
  • While this article is dedicated to helping nice men become better feminist allies, I want to take a second to clarify the difference between an authentically nice guy and a Nice Guy.
  • (Link): Nice Guys, as many of you know, have become the object of  (Link): much loathing in feminist circles and among women and girls in general.Online, this is the guy who posts hashtags like #NotAllMen and (Link): #ReverseSexism, whenever we publish articles about (Link): street harassment,  (Link): rape culture, and (Link): male privilege.
  • He is the exaggeratedly faux timid (read: passive aggressive) dude who still complains about the girls that didn’t date him in high school on message boards and in every other status update.
  • Though the most stereotypical incarnation of the Nice Guy is a fedora-clad dudebro who spends too much time on Reddit and would probably push a six-year-old girl out of the way to get his hands on My Little Pony merchandise, the more garden-variety Nice Guy can be more difficult to spot. 
  • Basically, he’s anyone who regards sex as the ultimate goal of interacting with women, and in turn views the idea of a nonsexual friendship with a woman as an abysmal failure.
  • Trademarks of a Nice Guy include trying to guilt trip women into having sex, claiming that sex should be the inevitable reward for basic acts of friendship, and only being interested in building a friendship until the woman in question rejects them romantically.
  • When he gets rejected, he cites every single time they did something nice for her, repeatedly asks her out (as in stalks her), and calls her a coldhearted bitch if she refuses to magically reciprocate his feelings within an almost instantaneous period of time.
  • A Nice Guy™ truly cements his status as soon as he begins to complain that (Link): “women only date assholes.”

Continue reading “This Is Why Being a Nice Guy Just Isn’t Enough by E. Tatum / Double Standards By The Anti-Celibacy Crowd About Friendships and Sexualization of Everything”

A Teen Tried To Kill Three Women “In Revenge” Because He Was A Virgin – felt that women “were the weaker” breed

A Teen Tried To Kill Three Women “In Revenge” Because He Was A Virgin

Talk about male entitlement run amok. First of all, there is nothing bad, wrong, or unusual with being a virgin at age 17 or 18, for males or females.

Secondly, women do not owe men dates, sex, companionship or anything. I’m not sure what this young man’s religious beliefs were, but I can tell you I have seen some of the same entitlement mentality towards women from Christian adult men, not just Non Christians.

At the end of it all, these murders (or attempted murders) were this guy’s responsibility. However, maybe if our culture did not shame and mock virginity so much some of these men would not feel compelled to murder people, or stigmatization of virginity would not add to whatever pathologies they suffer.

One of the comments he made in a diary reads,

  • “I attack women because I grew up to believe them as a more weaker part of the human breed.”

And that is the same mindset of Christian gender complementarians: that women are “the weaker” half of humans. It’s why some of them use the rationale that women should not lead or preach in churches or have equality in marriages.

I bet John Morgan will see this story on my blog and mention it on his blog, which I find a problem because,

(Link):  Teenager Ben Moynihan found guilty of attempted murder of three women out of revenge because he ‘could not lose his virginity’

  • A teenager has been found guilty of the attempted murder of three women who he attacked out of revenge because he could not lose his virginity.
  • Ben Moynihan, 18, stabbed three women aged 20, 45 and 67 in random attacks as they walked alone in the north area of Portsmouth, Hampshire, in June and July last year.

Continue reading “A Teen Tried To Kill Three Women “In Revenge” Because He Was A Virgin – felt that women “were the weaker” breed”

Older Pervy Dudes Hitting on Younger Women – and they meet them at church

Older Pervy Dudes Hitting on Younger Women – and they  meet them at church

A few years ago, I found an online article where some guy was advising other guys how to “pick up women” at churches.

If I remember correctly, this guy was promoting the idea of being deceitful and tricking and manipulating Christian women into casual relationships and sex.

I don’t think the author or the men he was advising were even Christians (not that it would be okay if they were Christians, it would actually be worse, IMO). If I can find that article again, I’d like to place it here on this blog.

I think Christian women should be aware not to let their guard down in a church environment just because it’s church. Don’t be trusting of a man just because he claims to be a Christian and has the external trappings of a Christian.

If secular men are targeting Christian women to take advantage of them, they need to learn what tricks these men are using. (I hope I can find that article again and post it.)

To Christian ladies: you are no more safer in a church or around church-goers than you would be at a night club, walking down a city street, among a group of Satanists chanting to Satan in the woods at midnight, or anywhere else.

You can be taken advantage of by church men, in a church, or outside of a church.

Men you meet at a church are not necessarily more safe, ethical, reliable or honest than guys you meet on dating sites or in bars.

Guys at your church may be drug addicts, child molesters, or whatever, but are very good at hiding these things and wearing a mask and saying all the Christian lingo so they can pass as Christian when they are around church people.

Continue reading “Older Pervy Dudes Hitting on Younger Women – and they meet them at church”

Rise of the Feminist Tinder-Creep-Busting Web Vigilante (from The Atlantic – Re: Women Being Harassed on Dating Sites)

Rise of the Feminist Tinder-Creep-Busting Web Vigilante

I don’t think most men have any idea or clue the utter avalanche of regular garbage women have to put up with on the internet. Here’s another article about it.

(Link): Rise of the Feminist Tinder-Creep-Busting Web Vigilante

Excerpts

  • Many women say they’ve received harassing or offensive messages on online-dating sites. Will airing the obscene exchanges publicly help?
  • One day recently, Alexandra Tweten was browsing Facebook when a woman she knew posted a screenshot of a recent exchange she’d had on OkCupid.

    “I want to message you, but I’m afraid,” the man said. The woman didn’t respond for 12 hours, after which the man followed up with one word:

    “Asshole.”

    …“We can’t win,” Tweten told me recently. “If we don’t respond, they come back and say, ‘you’re a whore.’ If we do respond, we get yelled at and called names. I hate that men think they can talk to women like that. They should be publicly shamed.”

    Other women on the Facebook thread agreed, saying they had similar experiences and wanted to see the perpetrators punished in some way, like through a public Instagram account.

    Tweten said, “I’ll do it!”

    That Instagram account became (Link): Bye Felipe, Tweten’s crowdsourced menagerie of mankind’s worst specimens. The name is a play on “Bye Felicia,” a meme used to signify that someone has left a party, and they won’t be missed. Since creating it Monday of last week, Tweten has received more than two dozen submissions.

  • ….

    Tweten is part of an growing contingent of women who are dedicated to exposing the shady, hostile, and crass entreaties they get from their digital suitors. There’s (Link):  Straight White Boys Texting, which is exactly what it sounds like: (“You should come eat this dick for desert.” [sic]) Minority women seem to have it especially rough; (Link): there are a number of sites devoted to exposing the uniquely disgusting bile that seems to spew forth when certain white men attempt to woo Asian women.

    Or, for more run-of-the-mill indignities, check out (Link): Dudes of Tinder, a Tumblr collecting a combination of outlandish profile photos and gross messages (“Wanna meet up for some chicken? Maybe some sex?”).

Continue reading “Rise of the Feminist Tinder-Creep-Busting Web Vigilante (from The Atlantic – Re: Women Being Harassed on Dating Sites)”

Single Woman Meets Stalker Guy at Church – letter to “Ask Amy” Advice Columnist

Single Woman Meets Stalker Guy at Church

Growing up, I heard from my Mom and Dad, who were both Christians, that church is the ideal place for a Christian, single gal to attend if she wants to meet a decent, single, Christian man – if her goal is to marry. Church was supposed to be the primary husband hunting ground for women. That may have been true in the 1950s, but no more.

For one thing, most churches lack single males past 30, and the few who do attend regularly, from what I’ve seen myself, and have read other women discuss online and in books of their church going experience, tend to be weird, terribly over-weight, have severe mental health issues, smell bad, etc. and so on.

The kind of men who do show up to church are often not date-able men.

The solution to how to attract more men to church has nothing to do with women, with what women do or do not do for men, single or married.

Women, single or married, do not owe adult, single, celibate or non-celibate men ego-stroking or emotional support for being celibate singles (see this post for more on that, and I may write another post on this topic in the future).

I do think the church as a whole – that is, church culture – needs to be affirming of lifelong or adult celibacy and singlehood overall, including everyone from the male pastor to the male deacons, elders, and women who teach Sunday School, because God knows they have made marriage, “the family,” and natalism into idols that they never shut up about, but to “single” the single women out for this purpose is sexist and odd.

Yes, really and truly, there are some self-identified adult, Christian, celibate single men who believe that male church attendance would sky rocket if only the mean, horrible, heartless, single adult women would pile on the affirmations to the single, celibate men and sing the praises of adult celibate men.

Oh please. You’re not five years old. Motivate yourself. Single, celibate adult women are not to blame for churches who ignore single, celibate men. Churches ignore both genders, not only the single men. They ignore single women too.

If you’re an adult over 25, stop demanding, like a petulant, whiny, demanding teenager, that adult, unmarried women stroke your ego for being celibate or single.

A lot of adult, single women are finding most churches irrelevant to their needs, so more and more adult single women are dropping out of church. I don’t see celibate, single men or churches in general making single, celibate women feel more welcome.

On the contrary, churches continue to marginalize single, celibate women by continually harping on how God’s only role for women is to marry and have babies.

Anyway. This single, 25 year old woman mentioned in the letter below that she met a single guy at church who is around 35 (I may have gotten his age wrong, I thought I saw the mom say he is ten years older than the daughter), and he turned out to be a stalker – and I have a few more comments to make below these letters:

  • DEAR AMY: My 25-year-old daughter briefly dated a man she met in church last December.
  • After one month, she ended the friendship (he was too emotionally needy).
  • He continues to pursue her by constant texting and e-mailing. She says he alternates between “saying mean things” and then apologizing and begging her to give him another chance.
  • She does not respond and blocked his phone, but he continues to text from different numbers. She does not reply to his e-mails. She moved to a different side of town, and so far he has not shown up at her work.
  • We’re very worried about this. What steps can she take to be safe and get this man to stop contacting her? Should her father confront him? So far we have not gotten involved.
  • — Very Worried
  • DEAR WORRIED: I shared your question with Michele Archer, an expert on stalking with the victim’s advocacy group Safe Horizon, (Link): safehorizon.org. Archer has some suggestions for your daughter: “Keep a stalking log of all incidents, including the date, time, location and a brief description of the incident. Save and print out the e-mails. Save all text messages and document them in the log.
  • “I would suggest not changing her e-mail address, but she may want to open another account and give that to people she trusts. Changing her e-mail address may escalate his behavior, and the e-mails he is sending become evidence of stalking, which she can use if she goes to the police.
  • “If she has concerns about him showing up at her work, she should let her place of employment know. If she has a photo of him (look on the Internet) she can make a color copy and give it to her workplace.
  • “If she uses any social networking sites, make them private and be mindful of what she posts.
  • “If this continues, she may want to contact police. The stalking log is useful for this, and she should also show them the text messages. She can also reach out to a domestic violence organization in her community for support or help advocating with the police (if needed) or the district attorney’s office.”
  • Archer adds, “I can’t comment on whether the father should confront him because I do not have enough information about the individual pursuing her. In general, this is not recommended.”
  • In addition to the above actions, I’d like to encourage your daughter not to let this isolate her. The more support she has from friends, colleagues, family members and local law enforcement, the more secure she will feel — and the more secure she will be.
    — end  —

Whether this guy the 25 year old woman met is a “true” Christian or not is beside the point. Only God can see into someone’s heart.

If a man is play acting and putting on all outward appearances of being an upstanding Christian – he’s in church weekly, reads his Bible regularly, doesn’t use vulgar language, etc, and so forth – a woman may very well assume that the guy is a “true” Christian.

If something looks like a duck, walks like a duck, and quacks like a duck, you’re going to feel safe assuming it’s a duck – only to find out later it’s a turkey in a duck costume.

This gets back to a point I’ve mentioned time and again on this blog: single, Christian ladies need to give up the “be equally yoked” evangelical understanding of marriage, where they feel confined to only marrying another Christian.

Other than the sheer fact that there are not enough Christian men for Christian women, a lot of the men who are Christians are pigs and dogs.

I’ve chronicled on this blog links to numerous stories about preachers and other Christians who have been arrested for wife beating, murdering their wife, owning or producing pedophile pornography, etc. (you can view examples in this thread and also do a search on this blog for the term “equally yoked”).

A man can believe in Jesus, confess Jesus is Lord, believe in the Bible, give money to charity, attend church weekly, and yet be a “slime ball” or an abuser.

Confession or actual possession of Christian faith is not a guarantee that the guy is going to treat you any better than the atheist down the street.

Just because you meet the guy in a church, and you see he’s there weekly, doesn’t mean he’s not a pervert or a nutso stalker guy. Just see the example above – the young lady met the guy at church, and he is at times hostile towards her in texts or at other times, too clingy. He’s stalking her. You can meet nuts and abusers in churches, too.


Related:

(Link):   Pedophiles Seeking Christian Wives in Churches – Another Reason to be Leery of the “Equally Yoked” Idea and Reconsider Church as a Place to Meet Singles

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Police: Woman raped, stabbed by man she met on dating website / Separate news story: Man used dating sites to find rape victims

Police: Woman raped, stabbed by man she met on dating website (other related stories, links)

(Link): 5 Online Dating Safety Tips To Help You Avoid Creepers

    • …These range from the harmless but obnoxious (like the ones you’ll find shamed on a number of tumblrs dedicated to that purpose) to the legitimately dangerous, like the story of Sharon Siemens, who was murdered by a man she had contact with through a dating site. (Link):

Australian Women’s Weekly reported

    on the incident:

“Single mum Sharon met her murderer on an online dating site, not realising he was a career criminal with more than 100 convictions to his name…”

…Keep Your Contact Info Private- [Don’t list your real name, phone number, mailing address, primary e-mail address]

Meet In A Public Place-

Make Sure People Know Where You Are

Trust Your Gut-

(Link): Michael Miller, accused of sexually assaulting woman he met on dating website, appears in court

    • Affidavit: 2 others accuse Miller of sex assault
    Jul 14, 2014

JEFFERSON COUNTY, Colo. – A man who is suspected of sexually assaulting women he met on Internet dating sites and other websites was advised of a felony charge against him in Jefferson County court on Monday.

Michael David Miller, 28, of Aurora, faces one count of sexual assault in connection with an alleged attack on a Golden woman in May.

However, Jefferson County sheriff’s officials say Miller has made admissions indicating that other victims may exist who have not yet come forward. Officials are asking women who believe they have been victimized by Miller to call sheriff’s Investigator Michalene Parreco at 303-271-5623.

According to an arrest affidavit, sheriff’s investigators have identified two other women who previously accused Miller of sexually assaulting them after they met him online.

(Link): Police: Woman raped, stabbed by man she met on dating website

Continue reading “Police: Woman raped, stabbed by man she met on dating website / Separate news story: Man used dating sites to find rape victims”