Wagner’s Response to TGC’s Morris’s Review of “Non Toxic Masculinity” – and Morris is Incorrect About Singleness, Among Other Issues

Wagner’s Response to TGC’s Morris’s Review of “Non Toxic Masculinity” – and Morris is Incorrect About Singleness, Among Other Issues

TGC is the same group that brought us all that cringe, weird book about sex called “Beautiful Union,” whose author claimed that sex can point us all to God, which is a disaster for those of us over 30 who are still virgins and living celibately.

I had a few comments I wanted to make below this:

(Link):  A Response to Shane Morris’s TGC Review of Non-Toxic Masculinity

Excerpts:

[The review that Wagner is responding to is located here, on TGC’s site: Sexual Ethics Is More than Not Being Evil]

by Zachary Wagner

…I want to note some of my ongoing disappointment with The Gospel Coalition on their engagement with issues of sexuality, gender, and masculinity.

…For many of my friends who have left Christianity, the straw that broke the camel’s back was not merely that Christianity was sexually restrictive. It was the hypocrisy of those who condemned the culture’s sexual permissiveness while indulging in sexual sin themselves or excusing it on the part of Christian leaders and heroes.

…In particular, the juxtaposition between purity culture on the one hand and sexual scandal on the other has opened a floodgate of apostasy for Millennials in particular, including members of my family and many very dear friends. How should evangelical pastors respond to this? Morris has little to say on this point, but he seems to imply that defending purity culture and doubling down on its good intentions is the correct approach. …

This is pastorally irresponsible. Parents, pastors, and authors were the ones who should have known better, not teenagers with raging hormones and half-developed brains. The sons and daughters of purity culture have repeatedly been told that they were the problem. Any suffering or frustration or confusion they experienced was their fault, a result of their sinful and broken inclinations.

Despite Marrying His Son’s Ex-Wife, and Allegedly Grooming and Dating Her While She Was Still Married to His Son, a Pastor Remains in His Position

Despite Marrying His Son’s Ex-Wife, and Allegedly Grooming and Dating Her While She Was Still Married to His Son, a Pastor Remains in His Position

I so tire of seeing other conservatives keep spewing out excessive marriage praise. Marriage does not, contrary to what those conservatives say, make people more godly, responsible, ethical or loving, nor does it “save” society.

I myself am a conservative, I am not against marriage, but I am opposed to the unrealistic views of marriage (and the nuclear family) that so many other conservatives have.

Also, let this be a lesson that finding a godly spouse in church is a joke – some of the biggest dirt bags and wolves attend church or work as preachers – and “equally yoked” is a joke and a waste of time if you’re a single Christian woman.

Stories like the one below demonstrate that a person doesn’t have to be holy, clean themselves up, be perfect, or be good to earn or merit a spouse from God (that was fairly common advice in Christian dating articles and books I read years ago).

(Link):  MN Pastor Who Married Son’s Ex-Wife Remains in Ministry, But Son’s TikToks Going Viral

Excerpts:

May 9, 2023
By Jessica Eturralde

Despite marrying his son’s ex-wife, and allegedly grooming and dating her while she was still married to his son, a Minnesota pastor remains in his position. The pastor’s son, however, is now going public with the 14-year-old, shocking story on TikTok—and his videos are going viral [his video on TikTok can be viewed here].

… Through a string of TikTok videos spanning months, Drew explained how their family split apart after his father married Drew’s ex-wife, following Drew’s mother’s death.

…Since then, Drew has published 21 videos, unveiling the stunning story.

According to Minnesota Family Law Attorney Johanna Clyborne, Bill Matthews’ marriage to Ana Lorena may not be legal.

Jesus was Single and Single People Should be Valued, Says Church of England – All Other Churches, Christians, and Denominations Need To Take Direction from This Church on This Issue

Jesus was Single and Single People Should be Valued, Says Church of England

While I’m thrilled to see a church acknowledge single adults and correct the marriage-, parenthood-, and nuclear family- idolizing as committed by Baptists and other churches and denominations, unfortunately, the Church of England jumped on to the progressive ideology bandwagon by proclaiming they cannot, or will not, define “woman.”

Shame on the Church of England for enabling the sexist “transgender” movement, but they do at least correct the single-shaming views, attitudes, practices, and doctrines of so many other churches or denominations.

More Christians, more para-church groups, Southern Baptists, and other churches and denominations really do need to course-correct from the singles-shaming or singles-marginalizing they engage in, and they need to repent of worshipping Marriage, Natalism, The Nuclear Family, and Parenthood.

(Link):  Church of England Says To Celebrate Single People, Since Jesus Was Single, Too

The report is indicative of an attitude shift within the church, which has traditionally encouraged its followers to get married and have children.

(Link): Single people should be valued by the Church of England just as much as couples, new report commissioned by two Archbishops urges

April 26, 2023

Single people should be valued by the Church of England just as much as couples, a major report has urged.

The study commissioned by the Archbishops of Canterbury and York points out that Jesus himself never married, and warns that single people may feel unwelcome if churches overuse the word family.

It also admits that being in a committed couple is no guarantee of being ‘happy ever after’ – and that even Adam and Eve had strains in their relationship.

…And it warns that ‘hook-up culture’ is now presented as normal to young girls but adds: ‘Loveless sex is not empowering.’

…The report says it is a ‘point of concern’ that the Government has increased the marriage age to 18 while leaving the age of consent at 16, saying: ‘It legally implies that sex before marriage is acceptable in a way that it was not legally until now.’

…Others who were divorced felt ‘unwelcome in their church and judged for their ‘failure’, with some leaving as a result.

‘Others commented that the declining numbers attending a church is symbolic of an institution which fails to understand and acknowledge the diversity of family life today,’ the report warns.

‘We heard that the Church of England often conveys an expectation of marriage which is not present in society, and that there is too much focus on marriage and family in the church community, especially as increasing numbers of people are choosing to remain single.’

…And it recommends that the Church: ‘Honour and celebrate singleness, whether through choice or circumstance, and recognise the full place of single people within the Church and society.’

It points out: ‘We are reminded that Jesus never married and remained single throughout his life. This was unusual as it was expected at that time that everyone would marry.’ 

(Link): A Church of England report released Wednesday said that single people “must be valued at the heart of our society.”

APRIL 26, 2023 / CBS NEWS

…A Church of England report released Wednesday said that single people “must be valued at the heart of our society.”

The 238-page report, titled “Love Matters,” was the third in a trilogy of major reports commissioned by the Archbishops of Canterbury and York. The first addressed housing and the second examined care and support.

The latest report, on families and households, reflected the church’s changing stance on singlehood and single-person households.

The church’s report acknowledged that a growing number of people elect to be single as a result of divorce, separation, the death of a partner, not having found a suitable partner, or as a deliberate lifestyle choice. It said that loving relationships matter to single people just as much as they do to those who are married with families.

Conservatives With Blinders On: Upset Over Racism Against Whites, but Not Sexism; Criticizing the Woke for Ignoring Whites but Not Caring When Churches Ignore Singles and the Childless

Conservatives With Blinders On: Upset Over Racism Against Whites, but Not Sexism; Criticizing the Woke for Ignoring Whites but Not Caring When Churches Ignore Singles and the Childless

I’m a conservative, but I don’t see eye to eye with other conservatives on every subject.

I generally agree with conservative site “Not the Bee’s” takes on many, but not all issues, and I find a lot of material by their sister site, which is a parody site, “The Bee” to be amusing.

Conservative Matt Walsh is correct about the transgender issue but not much else.

I notice these conservatives are sometimes hypocritical or blind to their own double standards or insensitivities. Here are a few of them I’ve picked up on lately.

The same Babylon Bee (and its associated, non-parody site, Not The Bee) sometimes take pot shots at, or mock, transwomen.

These conservative sites don’t agree with biological men who identify as women being allowed on to women’s sports teams and so forth, which I agree with them on.

However, oddly, the rest of the time, these two “Bee” sites (and other similar conservatives) like to make sexist jokes about women or treat Women’s History Month like a joke, as does Matt Walsh.

These conservative groups will condemn sexism in very narrow situations, when it’s carried out by progressives, but then they spend the remainder of their time either making sexist jokes about women too, or spreading and defending sexist gender stereotypes – which is what the far left does.

Sandwiches, Racism, and Sexism

Take this Not the Bee tweet and article for example (their tweet for this was time stamped 3:25 PM · Mar 21, 2023):

(Link): Here’s a hilarious thread of 28 everyday things that have now been labeled racist– Not The Bee site, article by Jesse James, March 21, 2023

Here's a hilarious thread of 28 everyday things that have now been labeled racist https://t.co/TEXdfJU9fY

— Not the Bee (@Not_the_Bee) March 21, 2023

On that list is included Peanut Butter and Jelly sandwiches.

(Snopes will dispute that such a claim was ever made by the woke, but I read the article in which the claim first appeared, and yes, the woke were implying that PB&J sandwiches are racist. It wasn’t stated as bluntly as the dumb dumbs at Snopes would prefer, but it was in there.)

Like the Not the Bee site, I too find it laughable to classify PB&J sandwiches racist. I do think the woke go over-board with insisting we all see “white supremacy” and racism in every facet of life.

That is not where I disagree.

It’s that the writers of the non-parody site take objection to that conflation of racism and sandwiches, but their parody site, earlier that same day, made a joke  at the expense of women, using a sexist trope uttered by sexist men at women: “Make me a sammich,” or “women are only good for making sandwiches.”

Hmm, you don’t like that the woke declared PB&J sandwiches racist,
but in another recent tweet via your sister account, The Bee,
made a sexist joke in poor taste about women making sandwiches & tied that to Women’s History Month.
🤔#sexism #racism https://t.co/HdgOmlrhju

— Solo (@sololoner2) March 21, 2023

(Link): 10 Iconic Milestones In Women’s History – via The Babylon Bee

(The content of that page is very patronizing, consisting of a list of photos of sandwiches, in one, a woman’s hand can be seen spreading mayo on bread, with comments below each photo saying things like, “Behold the accomplishments of women, is there anything women can’t do.”)

I’m supposed to find that funny… and I do have a sense of humor… but no, I don’t find that funny.

10 Iconic Milestones In Women's History https://t.co/lQEhLzZCe3

— The Babylon Bee (@TheBabylonBee) March 21, 2023

Their tweet for the above was time stamped 2:51 PM · Mar 21, 2023 – that’s just about 34 minutes the same day before they sent a tweet to an article on their non-parody site expressing incredulity over progressives deeming PB&J sandwiches racist.

I’m fairly sure that the non-parody Bee site ridiculed Hershey’s chocolate company for using a man as their spokeswoman for their “HERshe’s” candy bars to promote Women’s History Month. Which again says The Bee writers are fine with conservatives insulting women but not progressives.

Police: 150 Starving Cats Discovered in NY House Where Presumably Married Couple is Found Dead – (Time To Stop With the “Single Lady Will Die Alone But For the Cats” Sexist Trope, Thanks)

Police: 150 Starving Cats Discovered in NY House Where Presumably Married Couple is Found Dead – (Time To Stop With the “Single Cat Lady Will Die Alone But For the Cats” Sexist Trope, Thanks)

Though I am a conservative and am not a feminist, I detest sexism, have been on the receiving end of it, and I notice that sexism exists in American culture – especially among some conservatives and bitter, jaded MGTOW and MRAs who are still torn up that their wives dumped them for their abuse or neglect.

It’s common for sexist idiots online to use sexist and ageist insults against single women, such as using the ageist phrase “hit the wall” (women don’t have expiration dates)  and to laugh at women who are single, and to mock those single women that they will die alone with many cats.

Here we have a news story about a dead couple (a man and a woman), who police say they believe to be married, who died in a house filled with 100+ cats.

Hey, there married people:
You may die with your spouse along with your many cats!

How does it feel to turn that sexist anti-single slur against married men and women now? I think it feels great. Married people will die only with their spouse and their hundreds of cats, those pathetic losers, ha ha ha! See where family values gets you? Ha ha ha ha ha.

Sometimes, though, married people die alone, apart from their spouse (and not even with any pet cats near), see examples below in this post under “Related Posts.”

(Link):  150 starving cats discovered in NY house where couple is found dead

February 3, 2023
by Amanda Woods

More than 100 famished cats were discovered living in squalor inside a Westchester County hoarding house where a man and woman were found dead this week, officials said.

Police were conducting a welfare check on the residents at the request of a family member inside the Cordial Road home in Yorktown Heights Monday when they were confronted with 150 cats living in filth.

The felines were trapped in every room of the home, including the walls and ceilings, Yorktown Police and the SPCA Westchester said.

Cops were unable to clear the scene until the SPCA’s rescue team removed most of the cats from the “small dilapidated home,” according to the animal protection agency.

The deceased homeowners were not immediately identified by police, but are believed to have been husband and wife.

The Gospel Coalition Says – in Sex Won’t Save You Essay – that (Married) Sex is a “Salvation Icon” that Supposedly “Points People to God” – TGC Making Christianity Irrelevant to Single, Celibate Adults

The Gospel Coalition Says – in Sex Won’t Save You Essay – that (Married) Sex is a “Salvation Icon” that Supposedly “Points People to God” -TGC Making Christianity Irrelevant to Single, Celibate Adults

I first began composing this on or around March 1 (or 2?), I have it set to be auto-published on March 4, and as of today, March 3, there’s been a lot more commentary on Twitter about this awful TGC marital sex article, to the point, TGC removed the original tweet linking to it, and I learned that one guy I quote-tweeted about it, a Brent McCracken, deleted his tweet that I quote tweeted (but I have a screen capture of it), and I was informed McCracken is head editor of TGC.

NOTE: I will edit this post after publication to add any more links or new content pertinent, so you may want to periodically re-visit this page and scroll down and skim over to find new links / videos, etc

I may be writing a follow up to this post later – a part two, if you will.

---

Un-freaking-believable. I’ve been blogging here for over ten years, and during that time, have I not been pointing out that not only do most Christians now, even the conservatives, attack sexual purity, sexual abstinence, virginity-until-marriage, but they have also turned sex (and marriage, parenthood, the nuclear family) into idols that they worship, to the point they act distressed when they hear that fornication among singles has declined? (I have a few examples under “Related Posts” towards the bottom of this page.)

There’s more of this nonsense, courtesy of The Gospel Coalition.

It starts off well enough by recognizing that many in secular society have turned sex and relationships into idols, and seek to find love and purpose in romance and sex, but then it goes on to make the very distasteful point that sex can, or does, point people to God.

Also… if such a book begins by acknowledging that singleness is fine in a page or two (or paragraph or two) but then never-the-less 99% of the book remains focused on a Jesus-marriage-sex analogy, it’s undercutting any “it’s okay to be single” or “you don’t have to be married and having sex to have a relationship with God” message.

This is no different from the idiot pastors who make every other sermon in church about “how to have smokin’ hot sex with your spouse” but who thinks it’s okay to overly focus on marriage constantly, if they merely toss in the token, “Hey, you may be single, but this marital sermon can be applicable to you too.”

I’m sorry, but evangelical Protestants or Baptists making the majority of the non-stop deluge of comments, sermons, or books about marriage and married sex, while only offering passing lip service, to adult singleness and celibacy, is still elevating marriage (and sex) to an unhealthy, bizarre, un-Biblical degree that still marginalizes singleness.

Screen Cap of Gospel Coalition Tweet

While it is true for a long time that many in American culture have turned sex and romantic relationships into idols, or seek to find identity or purpose in such, it’s also true that for the past several years, many news headlines and studies have been published showing that a larger number of adults are declining to have sex, date, and/or marry.

If you’re trying to titillate a secular public into giving Jesus a try by using sex-God analogies or metaphors, in a society where having sex, dating, or marrying are no longer the norm and not very popular, it’s not going to work.

I mean, while Butler is writing his book comparing knowing the Trinity to marital sexual intercourse and pro-creation, other conservative outlets have been in pearl-clutching, severe worry mode, that marriage is on the decline, and they’re shaming women for not choosing motherhood, and some conservatives are even upset that single adults are not having as much sex prior to marriage as they used to.

(Link): Sex Won’t Save You (But It Points to the One Who Will)

Excerpts (citing free use):

by Josh Butler
March 1, 2023

…Our culture looks to sex for salvation too. We want romance to free us from solitary confinement, to deliver us into a welcome embrace. But idolizing sex results in slavery.

Sex wasn’t designed to be your salvation but to point you to the One who is.

Union with Christ
Sex is an icon of Christ and the church.  …

[The author then goes on to refer to a Bible verses which seem to refer to marriage, such as a man leaving his family and cleaving to his wife, etc]

… A husband and wife’s life of faithful love is designed to point to greater things, but so is their sexual union! This is a gospel bombshell: sex is an icon of salvation.

The Bizarre, Misguided Shaming of Single and Childless or Childfree Women by Pro-Lifer Abby Johnson – (Not All Single, Childless Women are Liberal, Pro-Choice Feminists)

The Bizarre, Misguided Shaming of Single and Childless or Childfree Women by Pro-Lifer Abby Johnson – (Not All Single, Childless Women are Liberal, Pro-Choice Feminists)

When I was on Twitter the other day, someone who I follow on Twitter commented on a Tweet by a lady calling herself Abby Johnson.

A reminder: I sometimes follow people on social media who I don’t fully agree with on all topics. I’m a conservative, but I follow some liberals and progressives, including women who call themselves “radical feminists.” A lot of those radical feminists are pro-choice; they support abortion, I do not.

Like me, most of those radical feminists do not support “sex work” (strip clubs, prostitution, etc), and they do not support transgender activism.

Here is how Abby Johnson is currently describing herself on her Twitter bio (@AbbyJohnson):

Planned Parenthood Director turned Pro-Life Advocate! CEO of @ATTWNministry
. Global Ambassador for @COL1972official
. Best selling author & speaker. Mama/Wife
— end Twitter bio —

I am sincerely glad to hear that Johnson flipped her opinion on abortion, that she went from being pro-choice to pro-life.

Johnson seems a bit familiar. I think I may have seen her interviewed on Christian television program “The 700 Club,” in one of their CBN news segments, or perhaps I saw her on Fox News at some point?

At any rate, I am dismayed by her Twitter feed. Unfortunately, she, like many of my other fellow conservatives, falsely equates motherhood and wifehood with womanhood. I corrected her on that under a few of her other tweets.

(I’m not sure if Johnson is a Christian or not, but from her tweets, I can see that she leans right – as I do – and she also is pro-life, does not support transgenderism. I too am pro-life, and I sure as heck do not support progressive transgenderism, ie, allowing biological men who say they are women into women’s prisons, women’s locker rooms and so forth).

Also like a lot of other conservatives, Johnson holds a lot of false stereotypes about secular, liberal feminists. Not all feminists support trans activism, are anti-men, anti-nuclear family, and so on. There are actually women feminists who are married mothers.

If you’ve followed my blog, you will already know that I am middle-aged, I am single by circumstance (not by choice – not that men or women who choose to be single should be criticized for that, either), I am a conservative, I am anti-progressive trans agenda, and I am pro-life.

I am not opposed to The Nuclear Family, parenthood, and marriage, but I am opposed to the deification of such by other conservatives.

(Yes, most conservatives have unfortunately turned “the family,” motherhood, fatherhood, and marriage into idols, and they frequently love to make negative assumptions about, and insult anyone, who isn’t married or who doesn’t have children).

Let’s look at some of Johnson’s tweets – here’s the first one that I saw the other day, because someone I followed on Twitter commented below it (link to her tweet):

So, what does Johnson do with conservative, pro-life, anti- leftist transgender activism, middle-aged never married women such as myself, who was a devout Christian for decades, who had expected to get married, never met the right guy, remained faithful to biblical sexual ethics – no sex outside of marriage, hence no pregnancies?

Why is Johnson lumping pro-life, conservative, single, childless women, such as myself, into the same group with progressive, pro-choice, pro-progressive- gender- ideology women? Which is what she’s doing, because she’s equating being a woman, and/or a decent, happy woman, with being married and a mother.

Johnson is unnecessarily insulting other pro-life, conservative women who never did marry, who may never marry, and who do not have children, and she’s doing this to score a few points against what she terms “radical feminists,” who she (like many of my other fellow conservatives) wrongly assume, are all man-hating, baby-hating, single women who are lonely, miserable Cat Ladies.

(The Cat Lady trope is very sexist and needs to die off already. I usually see men tossing this at women. It feels a little more gross to see a woman tossing this sexist stand-by at other women to insult them with.)

In trying to score points against radical feminists, many of whom are actually married with children (and possibly cats) of their own, Johnson creates collateral damage.

Meaning…
Not all conservative, anti-trans agenda, pro-life women are married, can get married, or want to get married. Not all conservative, anti-trans agenda, pro-life women have children, can have children, or want to have children.

Why is Abby Johnson throwing such conservative women under the bus? To get some cheap shots in at liberal, feminist, pro-choice women?

I’m a conservative, and while I do not agree with feminists (radical or otherwise) on every issue, I am not okay with Johnson (or other conservatives) shaming or insulting liberal or pro-choice women over their marital or parenting status, or that of mine or that of other conservative women.

I cannot imagine how Johnson hopes to change any pro-choice minds by carrying on like she is?

Happy Christmas Darling, Here’s Your Divorce Papers… New Trend Sees Spouses Serving Papers as Presents as a Means of ‘Taking Back Control’

Happy Christmas Darling, Here’s Your Divorce Papers… New Trend Sees Spouses Serving Papers as Presents as a Means of ‘Taking Back Control’

This sounds petty, narcissistic, and unnecessarily cruel – just divorce the person on any other day; don’t double the blow by announcing it on a “special day” (such as their birthday, or on a major holiday).

(Link): Happy Christmas darling, here’s your divorce papers… New trend sees spouses serving papers as presents as a means of ‘taking back control’

by Andy Dolan
January 1, 2023

In the wake of Christmas conflict, January is traditionally one of the busiest times of the year for a divorce lawyer.

But in case you need quirky gift ideas for the year ahead, there’s a new trend – serving your spouse with divorce papers as a Christmas present, just as Den did to Angie in EastEnders in 1986. Birthdays or even anniversaries are also an option.

Diane Benussi, who runs a large matrimonial law firm in Birmingham, said clients had spoken of presenting the papers as a means of ‘taking back control’.

Ms Benussi, herself a divorcee, said: ‘I’ve had one female client recently who has explicitly told me she would be serving papers on her partner on his impending birthday.

The One Question You Should Never Ask a Single Person at Christmas by J. Hocking

The One Question You Should Never Ask a Single Person at Christmas by J. Hocking

(Link): The one question you should never ask a single person at Christmas

Excerpts:

by Jana Hocking
December 15, 2022

This time of year can put a shiver up the spine of most singletons.

Yes, it’s Christmastime, and oopsy daisy, you forgot to bag yourself a partner in time for dinner with the family.

You’re armoring up for the “Why haven’t you got yourself a partner yet?” question from annoying relatives with good hearts, and the idea of waking up by yourself instead of to a boisterous house full of children and a sexy husband can seem pretty darn crappy.

Except … it’s not.

You see, we focus so much on the traditional side of Christmas, we forget that this time of year as a singleton is actually ridiculously fun.

Don’t believe me? Let me point out a few reasons why you can thank the Lord he didn’t throw your soulmate into your direct path this year.

1. Sweet, sweet freedom

Unlike partnered-up couples who are arguing about who will be designated driver, and trying to figure out whose family gets Christmas and whose gets Boxing Day, you get the glorious gift of freedom to pick and choose to do whatever the heck you want for Christmas.

Tennessee Landlord Rejects Unmarried Christian Tenants’ Application

Tennessee Landlord Rejects Unmarried Christian Tenants’ Application

(Link): Landlord rejects tenant application because they are unmarried

Nov 26, 2022

A landlord’s bizarre contract has been exposed online after a Christian couple were denied tenancy for ticking one wrong box.

A couple in the US have shared their bizarre altercation with a landlord who denied their application because they said they were Christian.
The couple were asked to answer a questionnaire when applying for the property, with the landlord asking if they’d have a problem with him “expressing his faith” around them.

Tenants were able to put down that they were not Christian but didn’t have an issue with the landlord expressing their faith.

…He said the pair were free to make their own choices but refused to “aid and abet choices that disobey dad” before claiming everything that has gone wrong in their lives is a result of sin.

The Most Important Factor in Aging Happily as a Single Person: Guest Post by Cathy Goodwin

The Most Important Factor in Aging Happily as a Single Person: Guest Post by Cathy Goodwin 

I think this is from Bella DePaulo’s Medium account.

By the way, the anecdote about all the married couples immediately departing from welcoming the new woman neighbor once they found out she had no husband?
Read the book “Singled Out” by Field and Colon to see example after example of Christians doing the SAME THING to new single adults who show up in their lives, even to church services or church events (such as luncheons) –
– the minute the married Christian women find out you are single and/or childless, they immediately act freaked out, or weirded out, and will turn their back on you to run across the room to greet a woman who they know is married and/or a mother.

Treating adult singles as though they are dangerous, weird, or flawed, and then immediately avoiding them to run off in search of another married mother to chat with, is very hurtful behavior to the adult singles in question, but it seems to be common behavior by married Christians in many churches and Christian culture.

Married Christian men treat single women as though they are all harlots, so they avoid single women, which is also insulting, demeaning, and hurtful behavior. (At least this is true of the Christian married men who aren’t looking to commit adultery.)

God says in the Bible he does not play favorites, and I believe God instructs Christians to avoid playing favorites
– which would mean, (and since so many Christians have turned The Nuclear Family into idols they worship), Christians do play favorites, they almost always prioritize married parents above single, childless adults, and so,
they will instantly ignore or otherwise marginalize any adult who crosses their path (even at church) if that adult is single and childless (ie, these adults don’t have a Nuclear Family of their own, they’re not married parents).

The church should not be doing this; the church is supposed to be above this behavior – but it’s not.

(Link): The Most Important Factor in Aging Happily as a Single Person: Guest Post by Cathy Goodwin

Excerpts:

Aging happily while single isn’t about doctors, diets or relationships. It’s about choosing the best place to live.

Nov 11, 2022

From Bella: Guest blogger Cathy Goodwin really knows how to get to the heart of things that matter to single people.

A guest post she wrote for my Living Single blog on (Link): how the medical establishment makes it hard for single people to get the care they need, is one that readers go back to again and again. Now she is out with a new, provocative book on aging, (Link): When I Grow Old I Plan to be a Bitch.

Prepare to hear some ideas you’ve never encountered before, and to laugh out loud along the way. I invited Cathy Goodwin to write a guest post about aging when single and I am delighted that she agreed.

The Most Important Factor in Aging Happily as a Single Person

By Cathy Goodwin

Go to any online forum about being single, growing older, or even “being single while growing older.” You’ll find dozens of posts like this:

“I can’t seem to find anything meaningful to occupy my time.”
“I’m having trouble making new friends.”
“I couldn’t get help when I was sick.”
“I feel like an outsider in my community.”
“I’m just not enjoying life the way I’d hoped.”
What happened to most of these folks?

They’d say they’re lonely. They might say, “It’s part of growing old.” They’d be wrong.

The truth is, they moved to a place that’s all wrong for them.

Couples Who Marry Due to Family, Social Pressure 50% More Likely to Divorce: Study – reportage by Leonardo Blair

Couples Who Marry Due to Family, Social Pressure 50% More Likely to Divorce: Study – reportage by Leonardo Blair

And what do conservative Christians (who tend to be hyper-pro-marriage-and-pro-parenthood-and-pro-nuclear family) do BUT to highly pressure and shame single, childless adults into marrying.

I did a post here years ago about a woman who says she felt pressured to marry by her church, so she ended up marrying the wrong guy, and she regretted it, and she divorced (link to that is below, under “Related Posts”).

Christians and pro-nuclear family conservatives deify marriage (and parenthood and the nuclear family) to such an un-biblical, absurd degree that they end up alienating, insulting, and marginalizing any adult who doesn’t marry or have kids for whatever reason, and it needs to stop.

And by the way, for single adult women who had wanted to marry but remain single after the age of 30, 40, or older, getting married is not easy, but so many conservatives incorrectly assume that if you want marriage, it is easy-peasy, it’s a total snap, that if you want marriage, it will “just happen”,

(or, conservatives – and sometimes secular liberals, too – incredibly, insultingly, and unrealistically – expect single, adult women to “settle” for marrying stupid, abusive, weird, disturbed, sexist, ugly, fat, or idiot men
– of course, they hypocritically would not expect their own single adult daughter to marry a loser or weirdo (no, they advise their own single adult daughter to hold out for a quality catch),
but they feel fine advising non-family single females they run into to marry ANY GUY with a pulse who they cross paths with – it is so hypocritical and demeaning).

If one is a single, adult woman who desires marriage, it is not easy to find a decent, compatible man to marry – not on dating sites, bars, or in churches, either (most churches lack marrying-age single men, and some of the men who attend are abusive or are pedophiles who want to marry an adult woman to act as a “beard” to hide their sexual attraction to children).

(Link): Couples Who Marry Due to Family, Social Pressure 50% More Likely to Divorce: Study by Leonardo Blair

Excerpts:

Nov 2, 2022
by Leonardo Blair

Couples who get married due to family or social pressure are up to 50% more at risk of having a union that ends in divorce, according to a recent study from the Marriage Foundation in England and Wales.

The study, “Attitudes towards marriage and commitment,” published in October, asked 2,000 adults who had ever married how much they agreed or disagreed with each of 12 reasons presented by researchers for why they got married.

To ensure that the findings were relevant to today’s families, researchers then focused on 905 couples from the sample who married for the first time after the year 2000 when online dating emerged.

“What this research shows conclusively is that the reasons why people get married has a significant material impact to whether they stay together. While this might seem obvious, this has never been quantified,” said Harry Benson, Marriage Foundation’s research director, in a statement about the study shared with The Christian Post. “But the message is clear. Get married for love and your future together and not because it is either expected of you or because of family pressure.”