Happy Christmas Darling, Here’s Your Divorce Papers… New Trend Sees Spouses Serving Papers as Presents as a Means of ‘Taking Back Control’

Happy Christmas Darling, Here’s Your Divorce Papers… New Trend Sees Spouses Serving Papers as Presents as a Means of ‘Taking Back Control’

This sounds petty, narcissistic, and unnecessarily cruel – just divorce the person on any other day; don’t double the blow by announcing it on a “special day” (such as their birthday, or on a major holiday).

(Link): Happy Christmas darling, here’s your divorce papers… New trend sees spouses serving papers as presents as a means of ‘taking back control’

by Andy Dolan
January 1, 2023

In the wake of Christmas conflict, January is traditionally one of the busiest times of the year for a divorce lawyer.

But in case you need quirky gift ideas for the year ahead, there’s a new trend – serving your spouse with divorce papers as a Christmas present, just as Den did to Angie in EastEnders in 1986. Birthdays or even anniversaries are also an option.

Diane Benussi, who runs a large matrimonial law firm in Birmingham, said clients had spoken of presenting the papers as a means of ‘taking back control’.

Ms Benussi, herself a divorcee, said: ‘I’ve had one female client recently who has explicitly told me she would be serving papers on her partner on his impending birthday.

Continue reading “Happy Christmas Darling, Here’s Your Divorce Papers… New Trend Sees Spouses Serving Papers as Presents as a Means of ‘Taking Back Control’”

The One Question You Should Never Ask a Single Person at Christmas by J. Hocking

The One Question You Should Never Ask a Single Person at Christmas by J. Hocking

(Link): The one question you should never ask a single person at Christmas

Excerpts:

by Jana Hocking
December 15, 2022

This time of year can put a shiver up the spine of most singletons.

Yes, it’s Christmastime, and oopsy daisy, you forgot to bag yourself a partner in time for dinner with the family.

You’re armoring up for the “Why haven’t you got yourself a partner yet?” question from annoying relatives with good hearts, and the idea of waking up by yourself instead of to a boisterous house full of children and a sexy husband can seem pretty darn crappy.

Except … it’s not.

You see, we focus so much on the traditional side of Christmas, we forget that this time of year as a singleton is actually ridiculously fun.

Don’t believe me? Let me point out a few reasons why you can thank the Lord he didn’t throw your soulmate into your direct path this year.

1. Sweet, sweet freedom

Unlike partnered-up couples who are arguing about who will be designated driver, and trying to figure out whose family gets Christmas and whose gets Boxing Day, you get the glorious gift of freedom to pick and choose to do whatever the heck you want for Christmas.

Continue reading “The One Question You Should Never Ask a Single Person at Christmas by J. Hocking”

Tennessee Landlord Rejects Unmarried Christian Tenants’ Application

Tennessee Landlord Rejects Unmarried Christian Tenants’ Application

(Link): Landlord rejects tenant application because they are unmarried

Nov 26, 2022

A landlord’s bizarre contract has been exposed online after a Christian couple were denied tenancy for ticking one wrong box.

A couple in the US have shared their bizarre altercation with a landlord who denied their application because they said they were Christian.
The couple were asked to answer a questionnaire when applying for the property, with the landlord asking if they’d have a problem with him “expressing his faith” around them.

Tenants were able to put down that they were not Christian but didn’t have an issue with the landlord expressing their faith.

…He said the pair were free to make their own choices but refused to “aid and abet choices that disobey dad” before claiming everything that has gone wrong in their lives is a result of sin.

Continue reading “Tennessee Landlord Rejects Unmarried Christian Tenants’ Application”

The Most Important Factor in Aging Happily as a Single Person: Guest Post by Cathy Goodwin

The Most Important Factor in Aging Happily as a Single Person: Guest Post by Cathy Goodwin 

I think this is from Bella DePaulo’s Medium account.

By the way, the anecdote about all the married couples immediately departing from welcoming the new woman neighbor once they found out she had no husband?
Read the book “Singled Out” by Field and Colon to see example after example of Christians doing the SAME THING to new single adults who show up in their lives, even to church services or church events (such as luncheons) –
– the minute the married Christian women find out you are single and/or childless, they immediately act freaked out, or weirded out, and will turn their back on you to run across the room to greet a woman who they know is married and/or a mother.

Treating adult singles as though they are dangerous, weird, or flawed, and then immediately avoiding them to run off in search of another married mother to chat with, is very hurtful behavior to the adult singles in question, but it seems to be common behavior by married Christians in many churches and Christian culture.

Married Christian men treat single women as though they are all harlots, so they avoid single women, which is also insulting, demeaning, and hurtful behavior. (At least this is true of the Christian married men who aren’t looking to commit adultery.)

God says in the Bible he does not play favorites, and I believe God instructs Christians to avoid playing favorites
– which would mean, (and since so many Christians have turned The Nuclear Family into idols they worship), Christians do play favorites, they almost always prioritize married parents above single, childless adults, and so,
they will instantly ignore or otherwise marginalize any adult who crosses their path (even at church) if that adult is single and childless (ie, these adults don’t have a Nuclear Family of their own, they’re not married parents).

The church should not be doing this; the church is supposed to be above this behavior – but it’s not.

(Link): The Most Important Factor in Aging Happily as a Single Person: Guest Post by Cathy Goodwin

Excerpts:

Aging happily while single isn’t about doctors, diets or relationships. It’s about choosing the best place to live.

Nov 11, 2022

From Bella: Guest blogger Cathy Goodwin really knows how to get to the heart of things that matter to single people.

A guest post she wrote for my Living Single blog on (Link): how the medical establishment makes it hard for single people to get the care they need, is one that readers go back to again and again. Now she is out with a new, provocative book on aging, (Link): When I Grow Old I Plan to be a Bitch.

Prepare to hear some ideas you’ve never encountered before, and to laugh out loud along the way. I invited Cathy Goodwin to write a guest post about aging when single and I am delighted that she agreed.

The Most Important Factor in Aging Happily as a Single Person

By Cathy Goodwin

Go to any online forum about being single, growing older, or even “being single while growing older.” You’ll find dozens of posts like this:

“I can’t seem to find anything meaningful to occupy my time.”
“I’m having trouble making new friends.”
“I couldn’t get help when I was sick.”
“I feel like an outsider in my community.”
“I’m just not enjoying life the way I’d hoped.”
What happened to most of these folks?

They’d say they’re lonely. They might say, “It’s part of growing old.” They’d be wrong.

The truth is, they moved to a place that’s all wrong for them.

Continue reading “The Most Important Factor in Aging Happily as a Single Person: Guest Post by Cathy Goodwin”

Couples Who Marry Due to Family, Social Pressure 50% More Likely to Divorce: Study – reportage by Leonardo Blair

Couples Who Marry Due to Family, Social Pressure 50% More Likely to Divorce: Study – reportage by Leonardo Blair

And what do conservative Christians (who tend to be hyper-pro-marriage-and-pro-parenthood-and-pro-nuclear family) do BUT to highly pressure and shame single, childless adults into marrying.

I did a post here years ago about a woman who says she felt pressured to marry by her church, so she ended up marrying the wrong guy, and she regretted it, and she divorced (link to that is below, under “Related Posts”).

Christians and pro-nuclear family conservatives deify marriage (and parenthood and the nuclear family) to such an un-biblical, absurd degree that they end up alienating, insulting, and marginalizing any adult who doesn’t marry or have kids for whatever reason, and it needs to stop.

And by the way, for single adult women who had wanted to marry but remain single after the age of 30, 40, or older, getting married is not easy, but so many conservatives incorrectly assume that if you want marriage, it is easy-peasy, it’s a total snap, that if you want marriage, it will “just happen”,

(or, conservatives – and sometimes secular liberals, too – incredibly, insultingly, and unrealistically – expect single, adult women to “settle” for marrying stupid, abusive, weird, disturbed, sexist, ugly, fat, or idiot men
– of course, they hypocritically would not expect their own single adult daughter to marry a loser or weirdo (no, they advise their own single adult daughter to hold out for a quality catch),
but they feel fine advising non-family single females they run into to marry ANY GUY with a pulse who they cross paths with – it is so hypocritical and demeaning).

If one is a single, adult woman who desires marriage, it is not easy to find a decent, compatible man to marry – not on dating sites, bars, or in churches, either (most churches lack marrying-age single men, and some of the men who attend are abusive or are pedophiles who want to marry an adult woman to act as a “beard” to hide their sexual attraction to children).

(Link): Couples Who Marry Due to Family, Social Pressure 50% More Likely to Divorce: Study by Leonardo Blair

Excerpts:

Nov 2, 2022
by Leonardo Blair

Couples who get married due to family or social pressure are up to 50% more at risk of having a union that ends in divorce, according to a recent study from the Marriage Foundation in England and Wales.

The study, “Attitudes towards marriage and commitment,” published in October, asked 2,000 adults who had ever married how much they agreed or disagreed with each of 12 reasons presented by researchers for why they got married.

To ensure that the findings were relevant to today’s families, researchers then focused on 905 couples from the sample who married for the first time after the year 2000 when online dating emerged.

“What this research shows conclusively is that the reasons why people get married has a significant material impact to whether they stay together. While this might seem obvious, this has never been quantified,” said Harry Benson, Marriage Foundation’s research director, in a statement about the study shared with The Christian Post. “But the message is clear. Get married for love and your future together and not because it is either expected of you or because of family pressure.”

Continue reading “Couples Who Marry Due to Family, Social Pressure 50% More Likely to Divorce: Study – reportage by Leonardo Blair”

Why Can’t Other Christians Understand I Am Happy Being Single? by Emily Brown

Why Can’t Other Christians Understand I Am Happy Being Single? by Emily Brown

The essay I am excerpting below is pretty good and contains a lot of truth.

It’s certainly true that a person who wanted marriage but remains single can eventually learn to accept their own single status, mostly make peace with it, but well-meaning friends and family (Christians are the worst, they worship marriage),
can make one of their well-meaning comments, and it can send you spiraling – until you learn to let it bounce off you, develop boundaries, and let that well-meaning person know that their comment does offend or hurt, even if that wasn’t their intent.

I also recall years ago seeing Christian singer Carman, who died in 2021, who was single until he got married in his 50s, say on a TBN program (while he was single) that he would be going along okay in life doing just FINE with his single status,
until he’d run into a Christian friend or family member who’d make those passing, sometimes well meaning, comments or questions like, “Why are you still single? Aren’t you depressed or lonely being single?”

Carman said on those occasions, his thoughts were, “You know, I WAS doing okay with being single UNTIL you had to rub my single status in my face and act like I SHOULD feel inadequate about it.”

The following is from Relevant, which only permits a person up to around five free articles per month:

(Link): Why Can’t Other Christians Understand I Am Happy Being Single?

Excerpts:

by Emily Brown

As a lifelong single person, I’ve had a lot of time to come to terms with my singleness. And not even just come to terms and begrudgingly accept it, but truly learn to enjoy and love being single.

So when people ask how I feel about being single I don’t have to fake a smile. I excitedly share the happiness and joy I feel about being single.

That being said, there are still moments where I do feel sadness or shame or embarrassment about my singleness.

Do you know why? It’s because of the response people give me when I tell them how I feel about being single. Because when I tell people that I’m single they often respond with some iteration of:

“I’m sure you’ll find someone soon!”

Uh, thanks?

Nowhere in my explanation of my relationship status did I mention I was upset or worried.

Yet why do people — and let me be clear on which people I am specifically talking about: already married Christians — always assume I am sad about being single?

It has been a long, long journey to finding happiness. I worked really, really hard to unlearn the lie that being with someone would make my life complete and replace it with the truth that God is all I need.

I had to realize that there isn’t anything wrong with me and being single is not a curse.

…But it can take just a few words from well-meaning, ultimately misguided people to crack holes in my happiness.

Continue reading “Why Can’t Other Christians Understand I Am Happy Being Single? by Emily Brown”

Fewer than 50% of U.S. Adults Are Now Married. It’s Time to Give More Legal and Financial Breaks to Single People, Law Professor Says

Fewer than 50% of U.S. Adults Are Now Married. It’s Time to Give More Legal and Financial Breaks to Single People, Law Professor Says

(Link): Fewer than 50% of U.S. adults are now married. It’s time to give more legal and financial breaks to single people, law professor says.

Excerpts:

By Zoe Han

The share of married Americans has fallen to 45%, down from 50% in 2015.

…The share of married Americans has fallen to 45%, down from 50% in 2015. At the same time, the share of Americans who are not in a romantic relationship rose to 37% from 32% over the same period.

…However, people most likely to benefit from state and federal subsidies — joint bankruptcy filings, and tax and immigration laws — live in “traditional” households, typically consisting of a husband, wife and children, Mechele Dickerson, law professor at the University of Texas, Austin, wrote in (Link): her recent paper published in Emory Bankruptcy Developments Journal.

…U.S. legal and economic systems favor married people, particularly upper-income, college-educated couples who are white, because that’s the demographic more likely to belong to the “traditional” married household, Dickerson said.

Continue reading “Fewer than 50% of U.S. Adults Are Now Married. It’s Time to Give More Legal and Financial Breaks to Single People, Law Professor Says”

I’m Child-Free by Choice So No, I Don’t Want to Look After Your Kids by Jana Hocking

I’m Child-Free by Choice So No, I Don’t Want to Look After Your Kids by Jana Hocking

This is interesting… it’s (the essay below, via New York Post) presented from a secular vantage, so I’m not sure what the religious beliefs are here, or if everyone discussed is an atheist or what, but I can tell you as a former Southern Baptist, former evangelical Christian, that most Christians exploit single, childless adults and assume that all single, childless adults ADORE children, are only good for free babysitting services. And that is all false.

While I am pro-life on abortion (I don’t support abortion), I do NOT enjoy being around babies, toddlers, and little kids and have no interest in babysitting them.

The false, condescending idea that all single, childless adults should babysit the children of married couples for free at any and all times and LOVE doing it!!, is very, very common among Baptist and Protestant Christians (I’ve never been Roman Catholic, so I cannot speak to that).

But often in their sermons, podcasts, books, or literature about singleness (if and when the Christian idiots bother to address adult singleness at all, because they usually ignore the topic),
they always advise single adults (especially women) that they should help their “married with children” couples in their lives (especially in their churches) by babysitting their children for free. How obnoxious.

But it’s a very common theme that turns up in Christian thinking.

Years ago, I did a blog post here about a totally obnoxious, hideous post published in “Christianity Today” magazine by a married-with-kids woman who started the editorial out nicely enough, when she talked about how churches treat single, childless adults like trash (yes, they do), but then that wonderful opening transitioned into a vomitous, disgusting explanation at how churches should value single, childless adults for all the free babysitting they can provide nuclear families.

Seriously.

Just when I thought I had found a wonderful essay uplifting and affirming single, childless adults, and acknowledging how horribly Christian culture mistreats single, childless adults, married bitch has to go and ruin the essay by making it into another gross, “single adults are only good and useful for the services they can provide to married parents, like babysit my kids for free, since I’m a mother to toddlers, I have no immediate family near me, and the parenting leaves me exhausted all day!” spiel.

This below sounds like the secular version of that.

And it’s so wrong. Damn it all, am I ever sick and tired of married- with- kids couples acting as though their single, childless friends have life so much easier then they do and that these single adult friends “owe” babysitting services to them. It pisses me off to no end. And I’m also effing sick of Christian culture for upholding this same singles-exploiting crap in their books, tweets, You Tube videos, sermons, etc.

(Link): I’m child-free by choice so no, I don’t want to look after your kids by Jana Hocking

By Jana Hocking, News.com.au (in New York Post)
Oct 13, 2022

Look, there’s no polite way to put this: Dear people with kids, look after your own damn children!

There, I said it.

This fury has been quietly raging in me for a couple of years now. It started when a few of my girlfriends started coupling off.

Sure, I’ve managed to come to peace with the fact that once my friends find their special person, I’m probably not going to see them for a couple of months. At least until they’ve come out of that honeymoon period.

I’ve never complained, because I’ve secretly hoped they would understand when I too, went through that phase. It’s exciting, and lusty and totally worth dumping your friends for a few months of lovey dovey ridiculousness.

But then something happens once they start having kids.

We singletons become less friends, and more servants to you and your children. Think I’m being extreme? I’m really not!

Continue reading “I’m Child-Free by Choice So No, I Don’t Want to Look After Your Kids by Jana Hocking”

Woman Told She Can’t Dine Alone: ‘Next Time Bring A Friend’

Woman Told She Can’t Dine Alone: ‘Next Time Bring A Friend’

This is unacceptable.

Someone tried to defend this by saying that typically in Korean BBQ restaurants (and this occurred in a Korean BBQ restaurant), that they make a lot of food, and it wouldn’t make sense to serve it all to one person.

That is not the fault of the consumer!

There are now more single adults in the United States than married couples, according to some research I’ve seen in the last several years, so it doesn’t make sense to eliminate single adults as a demographic one caters to (hear me on this one, Baptist, Protestant and Evangelical Churches – you guys are just as bad about ignoring people who do NOT fit the “married with children” category).

It’s also unnecessarily mean-spirited, insulting, and cruel.

Why can’t the restaurant just change their portion sizes, and offer a smaller one for singles, and a larger one for two, if this is their hang-up for why they don’t want to serve a lone adult?

(Link): Woman told she can’t dine alone: ‘Next time bring a friend’

by Emily Lefroy
Sept 29, 2022

Dining alone can be a daunting prospect, but one woman’s solo date was ruined after she was told she needs a friend to dine in.

TikTok user Sunshine Chavez posted a video showing a staff member at a Korean barbecue joint in California telling her there is a two-person minimum for eating in the restaurant, pointing to the policy written on their sign-in sheet.

“When the restaurant doesn’t let you dine in because you’re a party of 1,” Chavez captioned the 15-second clip. “And you’re told next time bring a friend. Maybe I’m just hungry and emotional but I definitely cried in my car.”

Continue reading “Woman Told She Can’t Dine Alone: ‘Next Time Bring A Friend’”

Single Woman Who Plans Ahead Refuses to Change Airplane Seats So that Couples and Families Can Sit Together

Single Woman Who Plans Ahead Refuses to Change Airplane Seats So that Couples and Families Can Sit Together

I don’t blame her.

By the way. Marriage and parenthood do not make people more responsible, godly, loving, or ethical. Some married people are very entitled.

(Link): I absolutely REFUSE to switch my airline seat to help families and couples sit together – even when they start yelling, says single traveler JACI STEPHEN in a hilarious confession. So, do YOU sympathize with her?

August 25, 2022
By Jaci Stephen

Every summer, it happens: a family who hasn’t had the nous to book seats together on a plane asks a single passenger to move, in order to accommodate them.

This week, it’s Irish model and mother-of-three Vogue Williams, who publicly berated a fellow passenger for not wishing to give up his aisle seat and move to the window so that she could sit with her family. She was flying to London from Gibraltar, for goodness sake.

It’s a three-hour flight. Read a magazine. Order Duty Free. It’s not his fault that you’re so disorganized you can’t read a plane seat map.

I travel a lot. I have very specific seats I always choose (ask Virgin Atlantic; if I can’t get 8A, I’ll change planes). I like an aisle seat when traveling domestically because I need to use the rest room a lot.

I like to be at the front because I don’t like crowds and invariably need to disembark quickly. I spend weeks, sometimes months, making sure I have my favorite seat.

But I’ve lost count of the times I’ve been singled out as a single woman on her own and asked to change my seat. I suspect it’s because people think we’re going to be the softest touch. Wrong.

Continue reading “Single Woman Who Plans Ahead Refuses to Change Airplane Seats So that Couples and Families Can Sit Together”

A Thing Called “Singleism” (Podcast Episode) – Societal Discrimination Against Single Adults

A Thing Called “Singleism” (Podcast Episode) – Societal Discrimination Against Single Adults

I have not listened to this podcast myself. Apparently, the part about being single is the second or so topic discussed in the podcast.

I’m a conservative, not a progressive or a Democrat. If the first part of this program discusses Democrats in a glowing manner, my apologies. I assume you can move the play head past the nauseating pro-liberal, pro-progressive commentary, if any exists.

(Link): A Thing Called “Singleism” (Podcast Episode)

Description on the page:

EPISODE SUMMARY
An odd late-August election date in New York gave Democrats new hope for the midterms thanks to surging voter energy. Is that the whole story?

Then, the social stigma against staying single past “marrying age” still exists and some call it Singleism. What does the data show?

Continue reading “A Thing Called “Singleism” (Podcast Episode) – Societal Discrimination Against Single Adults”

Ending Priestly Celibacy Would Not Stop Abuse by E. Condon – Celibates Are Not Pedophiles

Ending Priestly Celibacy Would Not Stop Abuse by E. Condon – Celibates Are Not Pedophiles

Celibacy is not engaging in sexual activity.

Not having sex does not cause sex or sexual abuse. Celibacy does not cause pedophilia.

It’s highly insulting to adult celibates, such as myself (and no, I do not molest children or have any desire to) to suggest or plainly state, that celibacy leads to pedophilia.

Celibates are not pedophiles. Pedophilia is one type of sexual attraction or sexual behavior, and celibates do not engage in sexual behavior.

I am not a Roman Catholic, by the way.

I was raised Baptist and believed – and still believe – that the Bible teaches that sex outside of marriage is sin, which is one reason of several I did not engage in sexual behavior.

Studies have shown that a percentage of male pedophiles are married (and having regular sex with a wife) when they are molesting children. I have blog posts on this blog with links to news articles about married men (some Christian pastors) who were arrested for molesting children or using child porn.

Being married (in a hetero marriage and having regular sex with one’s spouse) does not make a person less capable of, or unwilling to engage in, sexual sin. When they’re not fondling children, hetero married persons sometimes hire and use prostitutes, have affairs with other married people, or view pornography.

(Link): Ending Priestly Celibacy Would Not Stop Abuse by E. Condon

Excerpts:

Trotting out the canard that married priests would mean less abuse isn’t just ignorant. It’s a shocking disservice to victim-survivors.

by Ed Condon
July 31, 2022

The Economist recently ran a lead article arguing that if the Catholics “want to reduce the scourge of sexual abuse by priests, they should demand an end to the rule requiring priestly celibacy.” I found myself checking the year of publication. Surely this must have been an article from 20 years ago.

But no: In the same week in which the Catholic bishops of the United States published their annual report on the (still falling) number of abuse claims made in American dioceses, the Economist was running with a tired, discredited argument.

[The author goes on to explain that the Roman Catholic Church has horribly dealt with child sex abuse, and he acknowledges that fact.]

… But the suggestion that abuse is caused, amplified, or sustained by the unmarried state of clergy isn’t just without evidence: It flies in the face of the experiences of so many survivors of abuse in other settings.

No one who has followed the terrible reckoning the Southern Baptist Convention has had with its own institutional failure to protect children could cite the “successful” example of Protestant clergy as proof that married pastors mitigate the risk of abuse.

Likewise, consider the heartbreaking experiences of survivors of abuse in families, schools, youth organizations, the Boy Scouts, and the child-welfare system.

Continue reading “Ending Priestly Celibacy Would Not Stop Abuse by E. Condon – Celibates Are Not Pedophiles”