Sterling Example of How Christians are Keeping Single Christians Single Forever
I first came across this weirdo pre-courtship list at the (Link): “Stuff Fundies Like” site.
This is a list of questions that a father of a single woman would make her boyfriend answer. Some assume an Independent Fundamentalist Baptist wrote this bizarre list (guaranteed to keep a single single forever!), but someone else said, no, it was written by a funadmentalist Prebyterian. I have no idea who first wrote it.
Some Christians are wigging out – usually the married, conservative ones, and if they even notice – that many Christians are not marrying at all these days, or not marrying until later in life, and are not having babies.
Conservative Christians don’t seem to realize that the very obstacle in getting Christian singles to marry is stupid, counter-productive conservative Christian courting, dating, and gender role (“all men are like such and such, all women are like thus and so“) advice, which amounts to telling men to stay away from women and vice versa, because any and all encounters will end in sex, and fornication, specifically, pre-marital sex, is perhaps the greatest sin EVER!
After you read the list below, please see this series of posts at this blog: (Link): How Christians are Keeping Single Christians Single
The list (appeared at “Stuff Fundies Like” blog) – and it is VERY LONG, around 400+ items:
The Pre-Courtship Questionnaire
An SFL reader passed along this pre-courtship questionnaire checklist received from a church in fundy circles. Keep in mind, this is the Pre-courtship questionnaire, just to see if you qualify.
1. Do you ever seek advice from others?
2. How often do you seek counsel?
3. Who do you seek counsel from?
4. What type of things do you ask counsel about?
5. Would you be humble enough to go to counseling if I felt we need to?
6. Will you go to counseling even if you don’t feel the need to go, but I do?
7. Will you go the first time you are asked?
8. Are you humble about seeking counsel or do you already have all the answers?
9. Are you willing for us to share our problems with a counselor?
10. Would you include your wife as a counselor?
11. Would you ask my opinion or my advice before making decisions? (Especially big ones?)What are the primary events or situations in your life that have defined who you are today–the most formulating experiences and periods of your life?
12. What have been the hardest things you have ever had to work through? The hardest things you have ever done?
13. Who have been the main disciplers in your life and the people who have impacted and colored your life the most? As a child, adult–whenever.
14. Who were your role models and heroes? For what reasons?
15. You are the result of the influence of which people?
16. Which women/men do you admire the most and want to be like? Why? In which ways?
17. Which qualities and personality traits do you see in other women/men that you desire to have yourself?
18. What personality traits and/or strengths do you see in women/men you know that you would desire for your wife/husband to possess?
19. What did you grow up reading/watching? What books have had the greatest impact in defining who you are–children’s books, fiction, history, theology, anything. Which authors have you always most enjoyed and/or admired? What films have been influential?
20. Do you read?
21. What do you read?
Your Spiritual Life
22. What are things you see as God’s blessings? Do you desire and cherish these things?
23. Would you be willing to die for Christ? If you’re not dying daily, how can you be so sure you would then?
24. What breaks your heart? What delights your innermost heart?
25. Are you a spiritual person?
26. What are you expecting of your spouse, religiously?
27. What ministries do you serve in?
28. What can you offer your spouse, spiritually?
29. Who are your disciples?
30. When did you really start to seek the Lord?
31. When did you start to obey the Word because it was the Word?
32. What do you believe about Salvation?
33. When did [fruit of the Spirit x] start appearing in your life?
34. What is a besetting sin? What are yours?
35. What do you believe about sin? What do you believe about Rom 6 & 7?
36. What do you think about your family? Are you good friends? How is sibling ____ doing?
37. What does theology mean? Just lists of doctrines?
38. How do you get doctrine? How do you determine right doctrine?
39. What is your attitude towards historically held positions?
40. How big is your vision for your disciple-making influence?
41. What are your main messages?
42. Are you pursuing and involving yourself in fruitful projects that advance/build the kingdom?
43. Are you interested in/focused on continual spiritual growth – in yourself, your wife, and your family?
44. What is your heart towards the lost soul and what do you believe your duty to God is regarding that soul?
45. What is your vision for the Church?
46. What do you think are some of the main problems of the evangelical churches of today?
47. What do you think a Biblical Church looks like? How is it structured?
48. What is your view on the church and baptism, the church and communion, the church and evangelism?
49. What is the role of music in worship and the Church?
50. How many times have you read through your Bible?
51. Does God give you personal insights in His Word that are just for you?
52. Who do you share the insights with that God gives you?
53. How often do you have a prayer time?
54. When is your prayer time?
55. Do you have it on a regular basis?
56. About how long do you pray?
57. Do you have a prayer book or a prayer journal? Would you let me see it?
58. Do you plan for us to read the Bible together as a couple?
59. Do you plan to initiate Family Devotions with our future family?
60. Did your family have devotions together?
61. Who initiated the family devotions? Your Dad or Mom?
62. How often did you have family devotions?
63. What is your faith’s foundation?
64. Why do you believe what you believe?
65. Can you give me some examples?