Jesus was Single and Single People Should be Valued, Says Church of England – All Other Churches, Christians, and Denominations Need To Take Direction from This Church on This Issue

Jesus was Single and Single People Should be Valued, Says Church of England

While I’m thrilled to see a church acknowledge single adults and correct the marriage-, parenthood-, and nuclear family- idolizing as committed by Baptists and other churches and denominations, unfortunately, the Church of England jumped on to the progressive ideology bandwagon by proclaiming they cannot, or will not, define “woman.”

Shame on the Church of England for enabling the sexist “transgender” movement, but they do at least correct the single-shaming views, attitudes, practices, and doctrines of so many other churches or denominations.

More Christians, more para-church groups, Southern Baptists, and other churches and denominations really do need to course-correct from the singles-shaming or singles-marginalizing they engage in, and they need to repent of worshipping Marriage, Natalism, The Nuclear Family, and Parenthood.

(Link):  Church of England Says To Celebrate Single People, Since Jesus Was Single, Too

The report is indicative of an attitude shift within the church, which has traditionally encouraged its followers to get married and have children.

(Link): Single people should be valued by the Church of England just as much as couples, new report commissioned by two Archbishops urges

April 26, 2023

Single people should be valued by the Church of England just as much as couples, a major report has urged.

The study commissioned by the Archbishops of Canterbury and York points out that Jesus himself never married, and warns that single people may feel unwelcome if churches overuse the word family.

It also admits that being in a committed couple is no guarantee of being ‘happy ever after’ – and that even Adam and Eve had strains in their relationship.

…And it warns that ‘hook-up culture’ is now presented as normal to young girls but adds: ‘Loveless sex is not empowering.’

…The report says it is a ‘point of concern’ that the Government has increased the marriage age to 18 while leaving the age of consent at 16, saying: ‘It legally implies that sex before marriage is acceptable in a way that it was not legally until now.’

…Others who were divorced felt ‘unwelcome in their church and judged for their ‘failure’, with some leaving as a result.

‘Others commented that the declining numbers attending a church is symbolic of an institution which fails to understand and acknowledge the diversity of family life today,’ the report warns.

‘We heard that the Church of England often conveys an expectation of marriage which is not present in society, and that there is too much focus on marriage and family in the church community, especially as increasing numbers of people are choosing to remain single.’

…And it recommends that the Church: ‘Honour and celebrate singleness, whether through choice or circumstance, and recognise the full place of single people within the Church and society.’

It points out: ‘We are reminded that Jesus never married and remained single throughout his life. This was unusual as it was expected at that time that everyone would marry.’ 

(Link): A Church of England report released Wednesday said that single people “must be valued at the heart of our society.”

APRIL 26, 2023 / CBS NEWS

…A Church of England report released Wednesday said that single people “must be valued at the heart of our society.”

The 238-page report, titled “Love Matters,” was the third in a trilogy of major reports commissioned by the Archbishops of Canterbury and York. The first addressed housing and the second examined care and support.

The latest report, on families and households, reflected the church’s changing stance on singlehood and single-person households.

The church’s report acknowledged that a growing number of people elect to be single as a result of divorce, separation, the death of a partner, not having found a suitable partner, or as a deliberate lifestyle choice. It said that loving relationships matter to single people just as much as they do to those who are married with families.

Study Finds that 60% of Young Men Are Single (2023 Study), Many Are Lonely, Not Interested in Dating or Marriage, Articles Say

Study Finds that 60% of Young Men Are Single (2023 Study) – Many Are Lonely, Not Interested in Dating or Marrying, Articles Say

I first saw headlines about this study a few weeks ago but was too busy to blog about it then.

I don’t find this surprising.
About once every other year the past several years, more articles and studies keep being published about how more people (men and women) are either giving up on sex, not dating, not marrying, or deliberately putting off marriage.

I wouldn’t be surprised that if my fellow conservatives take note of this study and comment on it, hypocritically and infuriatingly,  it will be done with the utmost concern – conservative commentators and hosts, such as Matt Walsh, Al Mohler, and Tucker Carlson – will fawn all over today’s single, 20-something men, expressing all sorts of worry for men today.

Why do I say this is hypocritical and infuriating?

Whenever these same conservative groups or persons comment on women being single, they always criticize the hell out of single women for being single (and/or for being childless), all nuance is stripped away, for these conservative commentators to make all sorts of sexist, negative, sometimes simplistic, assumptions about why women are single.

Some women are single by circumstance, not from choice, but that fact is often overlooked by the Tucker Carlsons, Al Mohlers, Abby Johnsons and Matt Walshes, who love to assume all women deliberately choose career over marriage.

The single men won’t get the same insulting, sexist treatment, for the most part for being single. Conservatives like Mohler, Carlson, etc, will actually find a way to blame all women, or blame feminism, for why so many of today’s men are passing up marriage.

Churches Need to Meet the Needs of Adult Singles, Stop Focusing on Dwindling Number of Married Persons with Kids at Home

American churches (as I’ve been saying forever on this blog) need to step up and start offering true community to any and all adults in their areas, including single (never married) or divorced or widowed adults – they need to stop pandering to married couples with children still living at home, which is what they keep doing.

Church attendance is dwindling in the United States. People are losing interest in the Christian faith. Maybe if churches got out of their “Nuclear Family” niche and attempted to meet the needs of single and childless adults, they could increase their numbers.

Some of the following articles say that young, single men today are lonely. Not only do they not have girlfriends or wives, the articles say, but they have little to no friends, either.

Marriage- and Nuclear-Family- obsessed Christians and churches have totally dropped the ball on ministering to single, childless adults.

And you’ll notice that conservatives will NOT mock single men for being single, like they do with single women, when they make their ageist and sexist jokes about single women dying alone in a house full of cats, or saying that single women over 30 have “hit the wall,” or tweeting photos of empty egg cartons.

They won’t tweet parallel, insulting, misandrist or ageist comments about single men dying alone clinging to a life-size anime doll, a toy stuffed shark, while previously having had watched porn on their computer, while having had to urinate 50 times a night due to an enlarging prostate. The effing, sexist hypocrites.

(Link): Study finds more than 60 percent of young men are single: ‘Who are all the young women dating?’

February 23, 2023

Sixty-three percent of men and 34 percent of women under 30 report being single, according to a Pew study

(Link): Most young men are single. Most young women are not. 

More than 60 percent of young men are single, nearly twice the rate of unattached young women, signaling a larger breakdown in the social, romantic and sexual life of the American male.

Men in their 20s are more likely than women in their 20s to be romantically uninvolved, sexually dormant, friendless and lonely. They stand at the vanguard of an epidemic of declining marriage, sexuality and relationships that afflicts all of young America.

(Link):  Six out of 10 young men are single — the disturbing reasons why

Excerpts:

They’re not getting jerked around by dating anymore.

New Pew Research Center data has found that nowadays, 63% of men under 30 are electively single, up from 51% in 2019 — and experts blame erotic alone time online as a major culprit.

“[Young men] are watching a lot of social media, they’re watching a lot of porn, and I think they’re getting a lot of their needs met without having to go out,” psychologist Fred Rabinowitz told the Hill.

“I think that’s starting to be a habit.”

The new, post-COVID numbers would surely back up previous research that the pandemic has made men prefer an evening alone instead of actually meeting a partner.

Just half of single men as a whole responded that they are “looking for a committed relationship and/or casual dates,” a decrease compared to 61% four years ago.

But these statistics tell a sadder truth about this generation of men, NYU psych professor Niobe Way told the outlet.

“We’re in a crisis of connection,” Way said. “Disconnection from ourselves and disconnection from each other. And it’s getting worse.”

The male numbers come sharply juxtaposed to the 34% of women under 30 who now say they’re single — which has seen only a slight pandemic rise in that age group.

Another factor at play might be the interests of women changing — especially as suitors of the same age are becoming apparently less desirable, experts said.

“[Women would] rather go to brunch with friends than have a horrible date,” LA couples and family psychologist Greg Matos said.

The expectations of American men are also rising in the minds of women, according to masculinity expert and University of Akron professor Ronald Levant, who added that “unfortunately, so many men don’t have more to give.”

But perhaps the largest issue now with young men — one highly impacting their social abilities — is that they are, as a whole, more lonely people than women, a recent study showed.

Simple Steps for Managing Holiday Loneliness by C. Pearson

Simple Steps for Managing Holiday Loneliness by C. Pearson

(Link): Simple Steps for Managing Holiday Loneliness – NY Times, paywall

Excerpts:

by C. Pearson

…Loneliness is subjective. During the holidays, you can be surrounded by friends and family and feel totally isolated. Alternatively, you can be alone and feel completely at peace.

…When loneliness hits, it is possible to help yourself through it and lighten the feeling, experts say. These five strategies can help.

Do something for others

Volunteering is a proven buffer against stress and depressive symptoms and can be particularly effective in lessening feelings of isolation. That is because loneliness tends to draw people’s attention inward, while giving back turns it outward, Dr. Floyd said.

…Informal gestures help ease feelings of isolation, as well. Dr. Holt-Lunstad led research showing that performing small acts of kindness toward neighbors — like dropping off groceries, watering their plants or simply chatting for a bit — can help people feel less solitary.

Tap into your creativity

[Studies have shown that people feel less lonely if they are engaging in a creative activity, even if they are doing the activity alone]

…Creative expression can take many forms, Dr. Holt-Lunstad said. You might paint or craft. Perhaps you write or play an instrument. Maybe you finally take on that D.I.Y. project in your home.

The One Question You Should Never Ask a Single Person at Christmas by J. Hocking

The One Question You Should Never Ask a Single Person at Christmas by J. Hocking

(Link): The one question you should never ask a single person at Christmas

Excerpts:

by Jana Hocking
December 15, 2022

This time of year can put a shiver up the spine of most singletons.

Yes, it’s Christmastime, and oopsy daisy, you forgot to bag yourself a partner in time for dinner with the family.

You’re armoring up for the “Why haven’t you got yourself a partner yet?” question from annoying relatives with good hearts, and the idea of waking up by yourself instead of to a boisterous house full of children and a sexy husband can seem pretty darn crappy.

Except … it’s not.

You see, we focus so much on the traditional side of Christmas, we forget that this time of year as a singleton is actually ridiculously fun.

Don’t believe me? Let me point out a few reasons why you can thank the Lord he didn’t throw your soulmate into your direct path this year.

1. Sweet, sweet freedom

Unlike partnered-up couples who are arguing about who will be designated driver, and trying to figure out whose family gets Christmas and whose gets Boxing Day, you get the glorious gift of freedom to pick and choose to do whatever the heck you want for Christmas.

Divorcee Learns to Enjoy Life Again After 35 Year Marriage Ends by J. Ivey

Divorcee Learns to Enjoy Life Again After 35 Year Marriage Ends by J. Ivey

I could not find a copy of this online, so I cannot link to it. I have a print copy.

Someone did upload a copy to Scribd, but you have to have a subscription or whatever to read past the first few paragraphs

Girlfriend Power

Excerpts:

February / March 2022

It was the first Valentine’s Day after my marriage ended. The last thing I wanted to do was go to a party with a bunch of single ladies

Girlfriend Power by Jennie Ivey

[The author opens the piece by explaining that she and her husband George were divorcing after 35 years of marriage.]

… For the first time in decades, I wasn’t part of a couple. For the first time in my life, I was living alone.

… Why oh why had I said I’d go to my friend Pat’s Valentine’s party? “Celebrate with other singles at a girls’ night in,” the invitation read. “Food! Music! Games! Fun!”

[Initially, she called her friend who was throwing the party to decline. The friend told her the reason for the party started years before, when her husband served her divorce papers on Valentine’s Day, and her father died on Valentine’s Day a few years prior. The friend replied,]

… “instead of moping around because we’re not coupled up, we get together to have a good time.” She wouldn’t take no for an answer.

“And one more thing, Jennie – you have to wear pink or red. It’s a Valentine’s party rule!”

[She mentions that her ex husband George was a surgeon, and while he wasn’t the greatest husband, he did okay on Valentine’s – he’d bring her flowers or candy in heart shaped boxes and so on]

Before I left for Pat’s I said a quick prayer. I hadn’t done a whole lot of praying since the breakup of my marriage. Sometimes I felt mad at God. Furious even.

Did he care that I was suddenly single at 60, an age when most couples were looking forward to retirement and spending time with their kids and grandkids together?

My prayer that evening was short and to the point: God, please show me how to be single.

What I Wish the Church Knew About Singles by Elizabeth Riese

What I Wish the Church Knew About Singles by Elizabeth Riese

(Link): What I Wish the Church Knew About Singles by Elizabeth Riese

-via Relevant’s site, which permits the reader five free articles per month…. anything beyond that requires a subscription

Excerpts:

October 27, 2022

… Singleness is not a subject that is foreign to me — I have been single the majority of my 30 years of life. In recent years, I have found myself declaring to my friends often how tragically imperfect the Church is in its attitude toward single people.

There often seems to be a sense in Christian circles that being single means you have not yet “arrived” or been made complete. Marriage is often spoken about as the most sanctifying experience a believer can have, helping a person become more like Jesus as they learn to unconditionally love their spouse.

Yet, as Dr. Bella DePaulo pointed out on the CXMH: On Faith & Mental Health podcast, there are many events in life besides marriage that are sanctifying. Grief, suffering, pain, loss — each of these experiences can deeply shape a person and make them more like Christ. Why do we like to hold up marriage as the experience that makes us most like our Savior, who was never married Himself?

Even further, the Church’s focus on and exaltation of marriage often leads to a neglect of discussing the very real struggles and issues inherent in singleness.

…The truth is that being single is not a curse, but that doesn’t mean it’s easy. It can be lonely and isolating and downright discouraging at times. And it often feels like the Church is doing little to help.

Woman Says Why She’s Rejecting These ‘Lonely, Single Men’ – also: Male Entitlement In and Out of the Church, Men Who Won’t Take Personal Responsibility for Their Singleness

Woman Says Why She’s Rejecting These ‘Lonely, Single Men’ – also: Male Entitlement In and Out of the Church, Men Who Won’t Take Personal Responsibility for Their Singleness

Below this article, I have a lot of comments, before I resume with providing another link related to this first one:

(Link): Woman says why she’s rejecting these ‘lonely, single men’

Aug 18, 2022
By Jana Hocking, News.com.au

Unless you were hiding under a rock this week, you would have read about an article published on Psychology Today titled “The Rise of Lonely, Single Men.”

It was written by psychologist, Greg Matos, and revealed that dating opportunities for heterosexual men are diminishing as relationship standards rise.

The psychologist explained that women are now only dating men who share the same values, have great communication skills and are emotionally available. Praise the lord!

Toxic men are out, respectful studs are in.

Now first of all, may we get out our violins and play a sad melody for the men who have treated women like absolute rubbish and then realized that they’re now single and alone. How unfair for these poor creatures.

You see, while they were bed-hopping, ghosting, breadcrumbing and doing all sort of mind f–kery to us women folk, we were quietly, and subtly embracing this ‘self love’ culture that started to emerge in TED Talks, TikTok videos, YouTube channels, and various other online forms.

Oprah preached: “If you feel like he is stringing you along, then he probably is. Don’t stay because you think ‘it will get better’. You’ll be mad at yourself a year later for staying when things are not better.”

Lifeway Research: Pastors Encourage Single Adults, Some Provide Targeted Ministries

Lifeway Research: Pastors Encourage Single Adults, Some Provide Targeted Ministries

I’m afraid this is too little too late, and it also still sounds like a lot of pastors and Christians are apathetic about meeting the needs of single (especially never married) adults who are over the age of 30.

If you’re a church, or a secular or religious conservative, you need to meet people where they are and meet their needs where they are currently, rather than lambasting people for not being married, shaming them, or lecturing them about being single and the so-called importance of the Nuclear Family.

And stop putting the onus on single adults to meet their own needs and the needs of other single adults.

If your church has staff and devotes funds to minister to married with young children, drug addicts, divorced adults, or people in the grieving process,
you need to also set aside church staff and funds to set up programs and services to cater to single adults over the age of 30,
rather than making this hypocritical exception where you put the burden on single adults to set up single adults ministries and fund raise for single adult ministries.

To put this another way, many churches expect that older single adults who want more attention and effort poured into older single adults at the church will be told to take the matter into their own hands and to create and maintain singles classes and singles activities, rather than the church making it happen.

Most of you churches these days behave like international secular corporations, like a McDonald’s, where you cater to various special interest groups  (such as married couples, divorced adults, people in addiction recovery, or millennials or gen Z), but you’re telling me, you hypocrites, you cannot be bothered to view older single adults as another interest group you would be willing to market to and serve? That makes no sense.

I’m sorry, but no. That is complete hypocrisy.

If your church (like many churches) has classes, social functions, pot luck meals, and sermons devoted regularly to ‘married- with- children couples’ and THEIR particular needs and concerns,
and you don’t demand that married members set up these classes and provide elbow grease to other married couples (and you don’t), it’s totally hypocritical and infuriating to demand that single adults do the heavy lifting for single adult ministries.

If your church is willing to pick up the slack and provide services to married couples (and all of you do this, because you WORSHIP parenthood, natalism, marriage and the Nuclear Family), you can damn well also cater to the needs and interests of older single (and childless) adults as well, and stop asking the single adults to sponsor, create, manage or maintain the programs in place for older single adults.

Another news flash for churches and preachers:

You’re not going to diminish the phenomenon of delayed marriage or the increasing number of single adults by doing any of the following
(which you’ve tried before for over a decade now, these approaches do not work, and actually drive singles away from churches AND from the faith itself, in some cases):

• shaming or criticizing single adults for being single and assuming they are still single because they are failures, losers, ugly, fat, too picky, selfish, or man-hating, career-obsessed feminists,
• by yelling at them to run out and marry right away
  (that is not how marriage actually happens);
• wrongly thinking dating sites are an instant solution to finding a mate, so advising all the Christian singles you know to “just try dating sites like e-Harmony!”,
• lecturing adult singles over the age of 30 on the so-called wonders of The Nuclear Family and marriage
  (as though the reason they’re not married yet is that they dislike, or don’t value, marriage or The Nuclear Family – eye roll),
• telling single adults bogus how- to- get- married advice that does not work
  (such as, ‘Just trust in the Lord, pray, wait, have faith, and in due time, He will send you a spouse!,’
  ‘Once you’re content in your singleness is when God will send you a spouse,’ etc)
• refusing to help marriage-minded single adults who’d like to get married opportunities at church to meet other marriage-minded singles for the express purpose of dating leading to marriage
  (i.e., saying that doing so would make church a “meat market,” that church’s only purpose is to “worship the Lord”),
  or
• patronizingly instructing older single adults that their only or main purpose so long as single is to act as free labor to the church or to society in general (eg., to act as free babysitters to the married- couples- with- children, to act as free maid service to mop the church’s kitchen floor, etc).

(Link): Lifeway Research: Pastors Encourage Single Adults, Some Provide Targeted Ministries

August 16, 2022
By Marissa Postell

As the number of single adults in the United States continues to grow, so does the need for ministry to single adults in churches.

According to a 2020 profile of single Americans by Pew Research Center, nearly 1 in 4 (23%) U.S. adults ages 30-49 are single—not married, living with a partner or in a committed romantic relationship.

And the 2021 U.S. Census Bureau data on America’s Families and Living Arrangements reveals many of these have never been married.

Are Liberals Trying to Pathologize Heterosexuality? Re: Heteropessimism – Liberals Trying to Reinvent the Wheel

Are Liberals Trying to Pathologize Heterosexuality? Re: Heteropessimism – Liberals Trying to Reinvent the Wheel

I recently saw an article from left leaning Salon magazine that discussed “heteropessimism.”

Liberals didn’t like celibacy and ‘virginity-unti-marriage’ until a lot of liberal, feminist women got burned out by and felt cheated by feminist “sex positivity,” so they took the good, old fashioned Christian and conservative concepts of monogamy, slapped the word “radical” in front of it and began arguing that sexual self control and restraint may be a good thing (as long as it’s not associated with that icky Christianity, conservatism, old fashioned values, or Purity Culture – eye roll here).

Now, those left- of- center seem hell bent on shaming heterosexuals for being heterosexual, or convincing them that heterosexuality is so passe’ and awful.

Some of this seems really bogus to me, considering that a percentage of American homosexuals claimed they wanted to have the ability for a man to legally wed another man – in other words, some homosexuals were claiming they wanted to mimic aspects of heterosexuality.

So it makes little sense for liberals to turn around and say that being heterosexual is blase’ and miserable (even if some married heteros do admit that marriage was not the fantasy they had hoped it would be) and that heterosexuals can learn a thing or two from homosexuals.

If this were true, why would homosexuals want to practice some of the same things that heteros do, like get married and have children?

I’m a never married hetero lady, and I’m here to say there’s nothing wrong with heterosexuality or with hetero marriage.

The issue is not hetero marriage or being hetero itself, but that secular culture and Christian churches have had the sad tendency in decades past to “over sell” marriage.

The reality is that you’re not going to find your meaning, purpose, identity and happiness (certainly not sustained happiness) in marriage, or not in marriage alone, no matter what romance novels, Hollywood Rom Coms, or your typical pro-marriage Christian sermon says.

What happens is that secular culture and obsessively pro-marriage Christians “promise big” on marriage and parenthood, but once people actually marry and have a child or two, they realize that no, marriage and parenthood aren’t the Norman Rockwell, Hallmark Card they had been promised.

Too often, church and culture portray marriage and parenting as though they will be fairy tales.

The conservative Federalist site is upset that some mothers have been getting real about motherhood lately and publishing their anecdotes about how boring, stressful, or difficult motherhood can be.

There’s nothing wrong with being heterosexual or having a hetero marriage, so far as it goes, but I do see a problem with a secular or religious culture that paints an unrealistic picture of marriage.

It’s one that can let people down, once they actually do marry and realize their partner is not a perfect dreamboat who can save them or magically make their life better.

I have more to say below this link and excerpt – the church was already given a solution to this problem via the New Testament, which I will explain below:

(Link): What is “heteropessimism,” and why do men and women suffer from it?

July 4, 2022

It’s time to examine alternative ways of living and loving found in other cultures and LGBTQAI+ communities

By Jennifer Hamilton

…Heteropessimism is a new word for an intuitive, possibly very old, concept in white Western culture. Coined in 2019 by writer Asa Seresin, heteropessimism is an attitude of disappointment, embarrassment or despair at the state of heterosexual relations  – specifically about being in one.

Seresin’s definition is useful because this pessimism is accompanied by the paradoxical practice of sticking with heterosexuality in its current forms, even as it is judged to be “irredeemable.”

Seresin now uses the term “heterofatalism” to emphasise how dire, hopeless, and lacking in visions for an alternative, this attitude is.

Help! I Think I Made a Terrible Mistake When Helping My Elderly Neighbor (The Codependency, People Pleasing Trap)

Help! I Think I Made a Terrible Mistake When Helping My Elderly Neighbor (The Codependency, People Pleasing Trap)

The letter below, and the summaries of other ones I am mentioning here (below the link and excerpt), should be a wake up call to anyone who has a difficult time saying no to people, refusing to turn down their requests, whether out of a sense of guilt or fear.

If you really struggle with turning down people’s requests for favors or for help (even if it’s someone who seems to legitimately be in need of help, such as a solitary, lonely, elderly neighbor with chronic health problems who is in a wheel chair), you may be codependent, a people pleaser, or an empath with very bad boundaries.

(And there are people out there, such as, but not limited to, Covert Narcissists who can spot nice, sweet, giving people like you in a heart beat, and they will waste no time in taking advantage of your kindness to get their needs met.
Even genuinely well- meaning, kind, nice, non-narcissistic people will and can lean on you too much, if they are very needy and you don’t put boundaries up.)

You need to learn that it’s perfectly fine to draw boundaries with people, even elderly neighbors who live alone who have health problems.

It’s okay to be straight forward and tell such neighbors that while you’re fine doing X for them every Z number of weeks, that you don’t want to do it more than that often, and you don’t want to also do Y, Q, and R for them.

The following is a letter someone sent to an advice columnist.

I will be including more comments below this link and excerpt:

Dear Prudence: Help! I Think I Made a Terrible Mistake When Helping My Elderly Neighbor

I had no idea one kindness could turn into this.

Advice by Eric Thomas
June 4, 2022

Dear Prudence,

I moved into a new upstairs apartment five months ago. I made the mistake of helping my wheelchair-bound neighbor, “Stella,” with her groceries during my move.

Stella had her bag break in the parking lot after she got off the bus. I put down my boxes and ran to help with her items and then put them up in her kitchen.

Stella told me about how she was alone in the world and on a fixed income.

I told Stella I would be happy to run to the grocery store for her since I go once a week.

Stella calls me every day now. She has problems with her doctors, her bills, and for anything and everything, she calls me. I have tried to be kind and helpful—but now I need help.

I should have set firm boundaries earlier, but she is a little old lady, and I was lonely in a new city. But I am not her daughter or her granddaughter. I am okay with running to the grocery store or being an emergency contact or coming over for tea and a chat—but not this.

Adult services are useless.

Stella’s life isn’t in danger, and she had enough income to be disqualified from the majority of services.

She isn’t cruel or abusive or mean. She is old, scared, and alone in the world.

But she is suffocating me.

Three Reasons Women’s Ministries Might Want to Focus Less on Marriage and Motherhood

Three Reasons Women’s Ministries Might Want to Focus Less on Marriage and Motherhood

I’ve been saying many of the same things on this blog for the last several years that this 2022 essay says.

Churches, especially gender complementarian ones – and not just in women’s ministries, but overall, in every facet of a church – make single / childless / childfree women feel ignored or unwanted, except for those Christians who patronizingly behave like the only use for a single, childless woman is to babysit the children of the married couples.

Reminder to Christians: more adults are not marrying these days – at all. Some may marry, but not until their 30s, 40s or older. Many (even if they do marry) are choosing to forgo children.

When churches focus on marriage and motherhood to the extent they do, they also send a message that being married and a parent is necessary for sanctification or relationship with God, which is false.

A person does not need to marry or have children to be sanctified, know God, or to be mature, ethical, godly, loving, or responsible.

(Link): Three Reasons Women’s Ministries Might Want to Focus Less on Marriage and Motherhood

Excerpts:

March 25, 2022
by Rachel Baker

Women’s ministries are often the home to every category of woman: Single, married, mother, widow, and so forth. As a Women’s Ministry Director, I both attend a women’s small group and organize the women’s ministry meetings at my local church.

In my small group alone there is a vast array of women, each in different categories, some are empty nesters, some are starting families, some are intentionally single, while others are single with the hope of being in a relationship in the future.

We cover the gamut, so why is it that women’s ministries’ regularly cast their focus on the married mother?

Don’t get me wrong, as a married mother I have absolutely benefited from Bible study curriculum and content focused on marriage and motherhood, however it should go without saying that these types of studies do not represent all women.

If you are in a position at your local church in women’s ministry or as a small group leader here are a few reasons why you might want to steer your Bible study content away from marriage and motherhood:

Studies Solely Based on Marriage and Motherhood Can Feel Exclusive

As a young married woman and then young mother I desperately needed support and connection and resources to help me feel a little less alone in that particular season of my life.

Marriage ministries and parenting ministries absolutely have a place within the church; they are absolutely needed.

However, when our larger-scale ministries such as women’s ministry or small group ministry only focus on young-married or motherhood we can miss out on the richness that comes from a group of women of all life-stages and relationship status.

Americans Increasingly Ditching Religious Marriage for Secular, Interfaith Relationships: Study

Americans Increasingly Ditching Religious Marriage for Secular, Interfaith Relationships: Study

Not only has there been a surge in editorials the last few weeks by conservative marriage-pushers beating young people over the head to marry and marry really young (I’ve not gotten around to addressing those articles and editorials)-

But I wouldn’t be surprised in the weeks to come if conservatives, both secular and Christian, don’t see this new study about interfaith marriages being on the rise, freak out, panic, and start publishing a lot of fear-mongering editorials or pod-casts guilt tripping or manipulating Christian singles into abiding by “equally yoked” and not even thinking about marrying a Non-Christian.

I have some more comments to make below these two links with excerpts:

(Link): Americans increasingly ditching religious marriages for secular, interfaith relationships: study

Excerpts:

by L. Blair
Feb 18, 2022

Fifty years ago, religious marriage ceremonies were the norm. Most people got married to someone who shared their faith, and just a small fraction of husbands and wives were in relationships where no one practiced a religion.

That trend, according to the latest American National Family Life Survey, is now on the decline as the influence of religion in society has been progressively fading.

…“Only 30% of Americans who were married within the past decade report having their ceremony in a church, house of worship or other religious location and officiated by a religious leader,” the study said.

Interfaith marriage — a union between people who have different religious traditions — has also grown increasingly common and make up 14% of all marriages. Another 14% of Americans are in a religious-secular marriage where one person does not identify with a faith tradition while the other does