Are Liberals Trying to Pathologize Heterosexuality? Re: Heteropessimism – Liberals Trying to Reinvent the Wheel
I recently saw an article from left leaning Salon magazine that discussed “heteropessimism.”
Liberals didn’t like celibacy and ‘virginity-unti-marriage’ until a lot of liberal, feminist women got burned out by and felt cheated by feminist “sex positivity,” so they took the good, old fashioned Christian and conservative concepts of monogamy, slapped the word “radical” in front of it and began arguing that sexual self control and restraint may be a good thing (as long as it’s not associated with that icky Christianity, conservatism, old fashioned values, or Purity Culture – eye roll here).
Now, those left- of- center seem hell bent on shaming heterosexuals for being heterosexual, or convincing them that heterosexuality is so passe’ and awful.
Some of this seems really bogus to me, considering that a percentage of American homosexuals claimed they wanted to have the ability for a man to legally wed another man – in other words, some homosexuals were claiming they wanted to mimic aspects of heterosexuality.
So it makes little sense for liberals to turn around and say that being heterosexual is blase’ and miserable (even if some married heteros do admit that marriage was not the fantasy they had hoped it would be) and that heterosexuals can learn a thing or two from homosexuals.
If this were true, why would homosexuals want to practice some of the same things that heteros do, like get married and have children?
I’m a never married hetero lady, and I’m here to say there’s nothing wrong with heterosexuality or with hetero marriage.
The issue is not hetero marriage or being hetero itself, but that secular culture and Christian churches have had the sad tendency in decades past to “over sell” marriage.
The reality is that you’re not going to find your meaning, purpose, identity and happiness (certainly not sustained happiness) in marriage, or not in marriage alone, no matter what romance novels, Hollywood Rom Coms, or your typical pro-marriage Christian sermon says.
What happens is that secular culture and obsessively pro-marriage Christians “promise big” on marriage and parenthood, but once people actually marry and have a child or two, they realize that no, marriage and parenthood aren’t the Norman Rockwell, Hallmark Card they had been promised.
Too often, church and culture portray marriage and parenting as though they will be fairy tales.
The conservative Federalist site is upset that some mothers have been getting real about motherhood lately and publishing their anecdotes about how boring, stressful, or difficult motherhood can be.
There’s nothing wrong with being heterosexual or having a hetero marriage, so far as it goes, but I do see a problem with a secular or religious culture that paints an unrealistic picture of marriage.
It’s one that can let people down, once they actually do marry and realize their partner is not a perfect dreamboat who can save them or magically make their life better.
I have more to say below this link and excerpt – the church was already given a solution to this problem via the New Testament, which I will explain below:
(Link): What is “heteropessimism,” and why do men and women suffer from it?
July 4, 2022
It’s time to examine alternative ways of living and loving found in other cultures and LGBTQAI+ communities
By Jennifer Hamilton
…Heteropessimism is a new word for an intuitive, possibly very old, concept in white Western culture. Coined in 2019 by writer Asa Seresin, heteropessimism is an attitude of disappointment, embarrassment or despair at the state of heterosexual relations – specifically about being in one.
Seresin’s definition is useful because this pessimism is accompanied by the paradoxical practice of sticking with heterosexuality in its current forms, even as it is judged to be “irredeemable.”
Seresin now uses the term “heterofatalism” to emphasise how dire, hopeless, and lacking in visions for an alternative, this attitude is.
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