FTC Warns of Increase in Romance Scams, Especially Targeting Older Adults 

FTC Warns of Increase in Romance Scams, Especially Targeting Older Adults 

(Link): FTC Warns of Increase in Romance Scams, Especially Targeting Older Adults 

Seniors made 23,053 online fraud reports in 2020 – 2,150 of those reports were said to be romance scams: FTC
By Cortney Moore | Fox News

An increasing number of American seniors have been targeted for romance scams during the pandemic.

The Federal Trade Commission (FTC) published an updated report on the top scams that have cost seniors aged 60 and up millions of dollars.

Continue reading “FTC Warns of Increase in Romance Scams, Especially Targeting Older Adults “

Celebrating Milestones in the Lives of Single Adults – by Anna Broadway

Celebrating Milestones in the Lives of Single Adults – by Anna Broadway

A few years ago, I did a blog post or two with similar content – pointing out how churches keep on ignoring or minimizing singles by ignoring them and their accomplishments while forcing everyone to acknowledge (generally during Sunday morning church services) the milestones of married parents (e.g., announcing pregnancies, Mother’s Day celebrations, etc).

There’s nothing like that for single adults. And it’s tiresome when you’re a single.

It’s tiresome to walk into a church regularly and see the pastor or whomever in the church acknowledge marriages, new births, etc. (and this is usually done during church services where you’re part of a captive audience, and it’s done from the pulpit, so you don’t have a choice but to listen to it), but they never congratulate the adult singles in the adult singles’ lives for their milestones (e.g., gaining another college degree, buying a first home alone, getting a job promotion, etc).

Most churches unfairly only recognize marriages and “baby-making” – it’s absolutely infuriating.

(Link): It’s the Summer of Weddings. Here Are Other Milestones We Can Celebrate.

Excerpts:

by Anna Broadway
June 14, 2021

The church has a unique opportunity to recognize markers of spiritual growth in our communities.

…But watching the joyous announcements and photos of this season triggered an internal battle over my status as a single woman and my “success” in adult life. As I learned from (Link): 17 months of researching Christian singleness around the world, many cultures deem marriage a mark of maturity into adulthood, a view that too often sidelines single people.

The Bible takes a different view of maturity: one based on a relationship with Christ rather than with another person. The apostle Paul, for example, called believers to develop certain qualities rather than hit certain life markers. That ought to have significant implications for what and how we celebrate.

Continue reading “Celebrating Milestones in the Lives of Single Adults – by Anna Broadway”

Eugene, the 56 Year Old Man, Tells Christian Show Host He’s Tired of Being Single

Eugene, the 56 Year Old Man, Tells Christian Show Host He’s Tired of Being Single

On today’s “The 700 Club,” host Pat Robertson got a question from a guy who says he’s 56 year old and tired of being alone. (The guy is single and would like a girlfriend, or to marry.)

I’ve said it before, but I’ll say it again – single adults of America (but especially women!) please (Link): stop asking Pat Robertson for relationship advice.

I’ve watched his “700 Club” show for many years, and Robertson always gives the same 3 to 4 answers to single adults who write him asking him why hasn’t God sent them a spouse, or how do they get a spouse?

And Pat Robertson always tells lovelorn single adults to “go fishing where the fish are,” (i.e, visit locales where you are sure to find single adults), and, he will tell you that “God puts the lonely in families,” which is a load of sh*t – no, God does not always put single adults who may be lonely “into families.”

For women who write in, especially if they are age 40 or older and single and want a spouse, Pat will insultingly tell them that they “sound desperate.” (Seriously; he has done this in the past, see the links below under “Related Posts” for links to examples of this atrocious behavior.)

(I’ve noticed that Robertson never tells the older single MEN who write in saying they are lonely and want a spouse that the MEN “sound desperate.” Robertson only tosses that sexist, insulting comment at single WOMEN.)

Pat Robertson also wrongly believes (and many Christians are like this as well, not just him), that (Link): if you want a spouse and pray for one, that God will of course send you one – which also a bunch of garbage.

So, here is what Eugene wrote in to Pat:

What do I have to do to find that special woman in my life? I’m tired of living alone in life. It’s been 56 years. Please help me, Pat. I read the Bible, but it never seems to help. I love all you guys and enjoy your show.

[Signed] Eugene

You can view / listen to Eugene’s question in this video on You Tube, and it’s around 44.25 into the video.

You can also listen to Pat Robertson’s unhelpful advice in that video to Eugene.

But… Eugene… should you read this, I have this to say to you:

Continue reading “Eugene, the 56 Year Old Man, Tells Christian Show Host He’s Tired of Being Single”

Thoughts Regarding ‘Crisis in the Christian Church: A Lack of Young, Single Men’ Essay by S. Green

Thoughts Regarding ‘Crisis in the Christian Church: A Lack of Young, Single Men’ Essay by S. Green

I will excerpt this essay from The Christian Post, which was published about a month ago, then offer my thoughts.

I will start out by saying it’s not just a lack of YOUNG men in the church, but a lack of single men of ANY age at churches that is a problem for any Christian single woman who expected to be able to find a marital partner at a church.

I remain single past my 30s and 40s. I had wanted to be married, I was taught by Christian culture and my parents that if I was just a good Christian person, prayed, and trusted in God, that I would be “sent” a Christian spouse, and that I could likely expect to meet this spouse, whoever he was, at a church.

So, over the years, in my 20s and older, I would pop into the occasional church every so often. However, any time I attended,  there were never any single men of my age, once I got into my mid or late 20s, my 30s, and my 40s.

It’s not just women in their 20s who’d like to marry, it’s women in their 30s and on up age-wise who’d like to marry. Why oh why do Christians always ignore them? It’s not fair or okay.

Never, ever focus solely on 20-something singles.

With that, here is the article – below the article, I will offer my observations:

(Link): Crisis in the Christian Church: A lack of young, single men

Excerpts:

By Solomon Green, March 4, 2021

….Churches are increasingly becoming a (Link): very unpopular [PDF document] place to meet a future wife or husband since the 1940s. The truth is, Christian Culture is dying.

…new families cannot be formed when there is a barrier of severe gender imbalance.  According to (Link): Lyman Stone’s study, a typical Sunday service has 71 eligible men to 100 eligible women.

This is an enormous problem within the Body of Christ that isn’t getting any better or going to fix itself.

New men aren’t just going to walk into churches. So how do churches fix this? Well, here are three steps to help solve the problem.

Step One: Have more Sunday sermons focused on careers, sex, and marriage. These topics are of great importance, yet are hardly covered from the pulpit …

Continue reading “Thoughts Regarding ‘Crisis in the Christian Church: A Lack of Young, Single Men’ Essay by S. Green”

I Haven’t Had A Boyfriend For A Decade. Here’s What I Learned. by R. Thompson

I Haven’t Had A Boyfriend For A Decade. Here’s What I Learned. by R. Thompson

Before I paste in excerpts from the article (see farther below), I wanted to say, yes, it’s unfortunately common for family and friends to shame you about being single; it’s common for them to poke fun or ask questions about “why aren’t you married yet?” or “why don’t you have a boyfriend?,” and so forth.

Now, I’m not sure of the author’s (Thompson’s) age of this piece I am excerpting below, but if you are a single adult reading this, and you find yourself nodding along in empathy and solidarity, because you too know what it feels like to be pressured or shamed by friends and family for being single, I wanted to point out that this shaming, guilt tripping, mockery and so on, doesn’t last forever.

I am now in my late forties; most people will stop questioning you and mocking you about “why aren’t you married or dating anyone yet” at some stage of your life, probably in your mid-40s.

You will have to endure a lot of the annoying, at times hurtful, mocking, innuendo, shaming, teasing, pressure, and so on and so forth, in your younger years.

The mid 30s seem to be the height of this singles shaming and ridicule for most people (based on anecdotes I’ve seen from other single adults over the years).

Continue reading “I Haven’t Had A Boyfriend For A Decade. Here’s What I Learned. by R. Thompson”

Awful Early-Marriage Promoting Editorial, ‘The Future of Christian Marriage,’ from The Christian Post that Actually Cites Deviant Mark Regnerus (December 2020)

Awful Early-Marriage Promoting Editorial, ‘The Future of Christian Marriage,’ from The Christian Post that Actually Cites Deviant Mark Regnerus (December 2020)

Below: another article (this time from The Christian Post) seemingly advocating for the good ol’ days when, supposedly, most women got married by the age of 21 and popped out 10 kids apiece and lamenting at how folks just aren’t quite into marriage now as much as they used to be.

Such articles inadvertently suggest that being single and/or childless are somehow “wrong,” immoral, dangerous for society, or “second best.” They are sometimes (Link): intentionally or inadvertently singles-shaming.

Seems that about once a year, every year, some secular conservative or Christian group or person releases some kind of editorial bemoaning delayed marriage.

You can count on these things appearing regularly. Just like death and taxes, or the sun rising in the east tomorrow.

Continue reading “Awful Early-Marriage Promoting Editorial, ‘The Future of Christian Marriage,’ from The Christian Post that Actually Cites Deviant Mark Regnerus (December 2020)”

Man Who Lost His Wife Puts Sign in Window Asking for Friends: ‘It’s My Last Resort’

Man Who Lost His Wife Puts Sign in Window Asking for Friends: ‘It’s My Last Resort’

Hello, Christians? Hello, churches?
Instead of obsessing over married-with-children couples and the little kids, teens, and college-aged students (typically in their early 20s), why don’t you stop and realize that the populations in some nations are aging and could use help and companionship?

Stop fixating on The Youth and Nuclear Families and start paying attention to folks outside of those groups – such as never-married singles who are over the age of 29, the divorced, and the widowed.

And let this be a lesson to hyper-marriage-promoters such as (but not limited to) Al Mohler and Bradford Wilcox, that getting married does NOT guarantee that a person will never suffer loneliness in life – if your spouse dies before you do, you will be alone.

If your spouse develops dementia or just loses interest in meeting your emotional needs, you will be alone – while married. 

Being married is not a guarantee that you won’t be lonely.

I wish this guy the best. I hope he’s able to make a friend or two.

(Link): Man Who Lost His Wife Puts Sign in Window Asking for Friends: ‘It’s My Last Resort’

Sept 15, 2020
by Hannah Sparks

Tony Williams isn’t asking for much.

The 75-year-old from Britain is tugging at the heartstrings of social media following his simple request: a friend.

Williams is still grieving the loss of his wife, Jo, who died in May. Since then, the retired physicist, who has neither children nor other family to visit, says he’s gone days without speaking to anyone.

“Jo was my best friend, and we had a lovely life. But now I’m all by myself. My wonderful wife has just died, and I have nobody,” he told SWNS.

In his desperation, Williams recently took out two ad blocks in his community newspaper — to no avail, according to SWNS, because he didn’t receive a single response.

Continue reading “Man Who Lost His Wife Puts Sign in Window Asking for Friends: ‘It’s My Last Resort’”

Supporting Singles and How Churches Can Help Singles Get Married – Lessons from Match-Making by B. Lea

Supporting Singles and How Churches Can Help Singles Get Married – Lessons from Match-Making by B. Lea

A caveat here: there are some singles who are happy being single and do NOT want church friends fixing them up with other singles.

Yet other singles do want to be married, but they’d rather not church friends or other Christians fix them up.

The bottom line is, before you try to play match-maker for a single adult you know, ask them for their permission first! They may say yes, but they may say, “no thank you.”

Many Christians – especially married ones (and they usually married in their 20s) are very hesitant to help their single friends get married, especially not in a church setting; they erroneously believe it would be turning church into a “meat market.” I guess they’d rather Christian singles try to meet other singles in bars or night clubs – but given how many pedophiles and creeps frequent churches, maybe that wouldn’t be a bad idea.

At any rate, getting married generally does involve human effort, but most Christians act as though God will just magically make a spouse appear at a single woman’s doorstep.

That’s not how it works.

You married Christians out there should be fixing up your single friends with other singles who would like to get married (with everyone’s permission). Dating sites are not a guarantee. 

(Link): Netflix’s ‘Indian Matchmaking’ Offers Wisdom for Christians

Excerpts:

by B. Lea
August 28, 2020

Introducing singles can help build the local church.
 
…Nearly half of US adults say dating has become increasingly difficult in the past 10 years, according to a new (Link): study from the Pew Research Center. Perhaps there’s a fresh case to be made for Christian matchmaking.
It is worth clarifying the definition of matchmaking in this context. The process is voluntary…
 
…It is worth clarifying the definition of matchmaking in this context. The process is voluntary…

Continue reading “Supporting Singles and How Churches Can Help Singles Get Married – Lessons from Match-Making by B. Lea”

Single. Dating. Female. Pastor: 5 Things I Want the Church to Know

Single. Dating. Female. Pastor: 5 Things I Want the Church to Know

Some of what the author writes in this is applicable to all single women, not just to women who work as pastors.

(Link): Single. Dating. Female. Pastor: 5 Things I Want the Church to Know 

Excerpts:

Recently, I was invited to participate in a panel on singleness at a Christian conference. I shared my experience as a single woman pastor and how single clergy can feel isolated in a church culture where marriage is the default.

It was the first time since university that I had an honest, direct, public conversation about singleness in the church.

We hear countless sermons about marriage, but singleness is not often addressed publicly in Christian communities.

1. Single pastors (especially women) often feel invisible. Let’s find ways to be more inclusive of the stories and experiences of single folks in ministry. 

Continue reading “Single. Dating. Female. Pastor: 5 Things I Want the Church to Know”

Don’t Settle for Crumbs: Hope for Christian Singles (video)

Don’t Settle for Crumbs: Hope for Christian Singles

What Christians Really Think About the Church’s Relationship Advice by Anna Broadway

What Christians Really Think About the Church’s Relationship Advice by Anna Broadway

The following article (book review) from Christianity Today covers several topics about singleness and the church I’ve been pointing out on this blog for literally years now.

One big point it brings up that I have: there are more single Christian women in the church than there are single Christian men. This means if a Christian single female insists upon following the “equally yoked” rule (that states a Christian may only marry another Christian), she will remain single.

If you are a single Christian woman who desires marriage, it is imperative you ditch the ‘equally yoked’ rule. You must learn to judge men based on their character, not what their stated religious beliefs are.

(Link): What Christians Really Think About the Church’s Relationship Advice by Anna Broadway

Excerpts:

New survey research sheds light on how believers navigate the stickier matters of dating and marriage.

July 10, 2019

Over the years, Christians have produced and read far more books on how relationships and singleness should work than on how these things actuallydo pan out. Vicky Walker’s new book Relatable: Exploring God, Love, & Connection in the Age of Choice, based on a survey of more than 1,400 people, aims to change that.

Walker writes from a more-or-less Protestant British perspective, but American Christians will find much they recognize.

Over the course of 12 chapters and several appendices, Relatable covers everything from the history of marriage to typical teachings on gender roles to, of course, sex. But she also gets into stickier matters like the role of technology and the church’s significant sex-ratio gap—the latter a topic that raises questions of dating outside the faith.

Continue reading “What Christians Really Think About the Church’s Relationship Advice by Anna Broadway”

Church Is a Family, Not an Event by K. Kandiah

Church Is a Family, Not an Event by K. Kandiah

This editorial by Kandiah makes many of the same points I have been making on this blog the last several years.

Church is not just about spreading the Gospel (as so many Christians incorrectly assume), but God designed the church to also serve as a community, another family, where widowed, single, and divorced adults could get their needs for companionship met.

But most churches today do not want to engage in that role; all the church-goers want to go home to their homes in the suburbs with their biological families and just hang out with their families.

Many church-going Christians don’t care to invite over the divorcee’ or the widower or the never married woman and include any of those people in their lives.

(Link): Church Is a Family, Not an Event by K. Kandiah

Excerpts:

The Bible refers to fellow Christians as “brothers and sisters,” but how often do we treat them as family?

More Than an Event
I have met many pastors and church members who can tell similar stories. As I visit many churches that are embracing people in desperate need of family, my eyes are continually being opened not only to what family truly can be but to what church as family truly can be.

This shift in perception of what church is, and what church is for, has huge implications, not just for our own personal spiritual development but for our understanding of mission, evangelism, worship, justice, hospitality, and discipleship.

Continue reading “Church Is a Family, Not an Event by K. Kandiah”