The War Over Marriage Is Raging; Single People Are Winning by B. DePaulo

The War Over Marriage Is Raging; Single People Are Winning by B. DePaulo

(Link):  The War Over Marriage Is Raging; Single People Are Winning

Excerpts:

Once again, the claim that marriage is greedy has people riled up

July 11, 2019

To everyone who has been rooting for, and working on, the telling of a more accurate and affirming story about single people, and the shattering of myths about married people, there is good news: We are winning.

Continue reading “The War Over Marriage Is Raging; Single People Are Winning by B. DePaulo”

What Christians Really Think About the Church’s Relationship Advice by Anna Broadway

What Christians Really Think About the Church’s Relationship Advice by Anna Broadway

The following article (book review) from Christianity Today covers several topics about singleness and the church I’ve been pointing out on this blog for literally years now.

One big point it brings up that I have: there are more single Christian women in the church than there are single Christian men. This means if a Christian single female insists upon following the “equally yoked” rule (that states a Christian may only marry another Christian), she will remain single.

If you are a single Christian woman who desires marriage, it is imperative you ditch the ‘equally yoked’ rule. You must learn to judge men based on their character, not what their stated religious beliefs are.

(Link): What Christians Really Think About the Church’s Relationship Advice by Anna Broadway

Excerpts:

New survey research sheds light on how believers navigate the stickier matters of dating and marriage.

July 10, 2019

Over the years, Christians have produced and read far more books on how relationships and singleness should work than on how these things actuallydo pan out. Vicky Walker’s new book Relatable: Exploring God, Love, & Connection in the Age of Choice, based on a survey of more than 1,400 people, aims to change that.

Walker writes from a more-or-less Protestant British perspective, but American Christians will find much they recognize.

Over the course of 12 chapters and several appendices, Relatable covers everything from the history of marriage to typical teachings on gender roles to, of course, sex. But she also gets into stickier matters like the role of technology and the church’s significant sex-ratio gap—the latter a topic that raises questions of dating outside the faith.

Continue reading “What Christians Really Think About the Church’s Relationship Advice by Anna Broadway”

What You Lose When You Gain a Spouse – What if marriage is not the social good that so many believe and want it to be? by M. Catron

What You Lose When You Gain a Spouse

What if marriage is not the social good that so many believe and want it to be? by M. Catron

This is similar to a study that came out a few years ago that I blogged about, where researches dubbed marriages “Greedy Marriages,” because when people get married, they tend to turn inwards and ignore neighbors and family members (single adults generally do not do this, according to the study).

(Link): What You Lose When You Gain a Spouse

Excerpts:

July 2019

In America today, it’s easy to believe that marriage is a social good—that our lives and our communities are better when more people get and stay married.

There have, of course, been massive changes to the institution over the past few generations, leading the occasional cultural critic to ask: Is marriage becoming obsolete? But few of these people seem genuinely interested in the answer.

More often the question functions as a kind of rhetorical sleight of hand, a way of stirring up moral panic about changing family values or speculating about whether society has become too cynical for love.

In popular culture, the sentiment still prevails that marriage makes us happy and divorce leaves us lonely, and that never getting married at all is a fundamental failure of belonging.

But speculation about whether or not marriage is obsolete overlooks a more important question: What is lost by making marriage the most central relationship in a culture?

Continue reading “What You Lose When You Gain a Spouse – What if marriage is not the social good that so many believe and want it to be? by M. Catron”

It’s Never Too Late for Love: Widows, 100 and 102, Marry After a Year of Dating by J. Hahn

It’s Never Too Late for Love: Widows, 100 and 102, Marry After a Year of Dating by J. Hanh

(Link): Meet the Cooks. He’s 100, she’s 102, and they just got married.

(Link): It’s Never Too Late for Love: Widows, 100 and 102, Marry After a Year of Dating

July 2019

John and Phyllis Cook fell for each other in their shared assisted living facility

A senior couple is proving that it’s never too late to find love, even if it comes many years after your first.

According to NBC 24, John and Phyllis Cook have been dating for a year after meeting in their shared assisted living facility in Ohio. Their love blossomed over the course of their courtship, and on Wednesday, the two sealed the deal and secured a marriage license, making their union official.

Continue reading “It’s Never Too Late for Love: Widows, 100 and 102, Marry After a Year of Dating by J. Hahn”

The Divorce Rate Is at a 40-Year Low, Unless You’re 55 or Older By Jo Craven McGinty

The Divorce Rate Is at a 40-Year Low, Unless You’re 55 or Older

(Link): The Divorce Rate Is at a 40-Year Low, Unless You’re 55 or Older

Excerpts:

Younger married couples are less likely to split up, but ‘gray’ divorces among older couples are on the rise

June 2019
By Jo Craven McGinty

….In 2017, around one million couples in the U.S. called it quits.

That may sound like a lot of busted unions, but the rate of divorce—just like the rate of marriage—is down.

Today, younger married couples are less likely to split up than they once were, driving the trend. But, at the same time, the rate of divorce for older generations has increased in a phenomenon known as “gray” divorce.

Continue reading “The Divorce Rate Is at a 40-Year Low, Unless You’re 55 or Older By Jo Craven McGinty”

Conservatives Have Now Abandoned All Pretense of Advocating For Sexual Abstinence and They Actually Lament the Lack of Fornication – The Bradford Wilcox Piece, 2019

Conservatives Have Now Abandoned All Pretense of Advocating For Sexual Abstinence and They Actually Lament the Lack of Fornication – The Bradford Wilcox Piece, 2019

The following piece at The Atlantic (“The Happiness Recession”) was written by marriage-idolater and anti-singleness bigot of The Institute for Family Studies, W. Bradford Wilcox, and co-writer Lyman Stone.

I’d like to remind any new-comers to this blog that I am a life long conservative. I am not a liberal.

Marriage Is Not A Guarantee For Good or Regular Sex

This moronic essay actually suggests that single adults having less sex is what has led to them reporting higher rates of unhappiness, if I’m understanding things correctly.

This, astonishingly, from a right wing organization, (Link): The Institute For Family Studies, that claims to promote “strong families,” and good Lord knows they are obsessed with promoting marriage, even if that comes at the expense of singleness.

The members of this organization regularly publish materials intended to scare, guilt, shame, or pressure single adults into getting married, because this organization exists to promote the nuclear family: hetero-marriage where the couple have children.

Continue reading “Conservatives Have Now Abandoned All Pretense of Advocating For Sexual Abstinence and They Actually Lament the Lack of Fornication – The Bradford Wilcox Piece, 2019”

In Which U.S. Cities Do The Majority of Single Christians – Specifically Those Who Regularly Attend Church – Live? by B. Showalter

In Which U.S. Cities Do The Majority of Single Christians – Specifically Those Who Regularly Attend Church – Live? by B. Showalter

There have been so many articles released this past week pertaining to the topics I normally blog about here, I can barely keep up. Here’s another one.

The second article below is from The Christian Post (as I said below the Tweet of this that was put out by The Christian Post: “Does it really matter since most churches do not have over 30s age singles groups and/or they insult singles for being single?”)

(Link): Single Practicing Christians Tend to Be in Big Cities – via Barna

(Link): In which U.S. cities do the majority of single Christians – specifically those who regularly attend church — live?

Excerpts:

by B. Showalter, Feb 2019

Which U.S. cities do the majority of Christian singles call home?

The majority of Christian singles tend to dwell in large East Coast cities, according to Barna.

In a study (Link): released this week, researchers unpacked how much the dating and relationship landscape has changed in the U.S. Barna has consistently tracked for many years the relationship status of practicing Christians — defined as those who attend a religious service at least once a month, self-identify as Christian, and say their faith is important to them.

Continue reading “In Which U.S. Cities Do The Majority of Single Christians – Specifically Those Who Regularly Attend Church – Live? by B. Showalter”

Never Married Person Ticked Off Because Churches Don’t Support Never Marrieds Who Do Not Want To Be Married

Never Married Person Ticked Off Because Churches Don’t Support Never Marrieds Who Do Not Want To Be Married

I once posted to a thread about adult singleness at another blog in 2014.

A person or two left comments there that I am just now, in 2019, seeing (as of last night).

I support single adults who’ve always been single who do NOT want to be married.

I’m a never married adult who wanted to be married, but it did not happen for me.

A person calling him or herself “Ehartsay” left a comment in that thread in 2014, (Link): here. I will just assume this is a woman poster.

Here is a portion of her comment:

by Ehartsay:

It has started to leave be with a feeling like even in this camp it is really only accepted to stay longterm single because of high standards, but still holding out hope for marriage, and not because you simply don’t want to be or care care about getting married

Even the ‘Christian Pundit’ seems to take care to establish that she wanted and still wants to get married, and would have been but for circumstances.
How about some live [love] for the marriage averse among us?
//////

Here is the reply I left to her:

Ehartsay,
Why are you criticizing me for wanting to be married? That’s what it sounds like you’re doing. I wish I had seen that post of yours back in 2014 – it’s five years later now.

On my blog, I have said in different blogs posts over the last few years I don’t have a problem with singles who enjoy being single and have no desire for marriage, and I’ve said on my blog that churches should treat such singles with respect and not try to cram marriage down their throats.

But I find your nit picking over my comment to be insulting.

What is it to you if I honestly would still like to marry?

Continue reading “Never Married Person Ticked Off Because Churches Don’t Support Never Marrieds Who Do Not Want To Be Married”

Younger Women Tend To Marry Older Men in the U.S. That’s Finally Changing by Dan Kopf (2018 Article)

Younger Women Tend To Marry Older Men in the U.S. That’s Finally Changing by Dan Kopf (2018 Article)

(Link): Younger Women Tend To Marry Older Men in the U.S. That’s Finally Changing by Dan Kopf – October 2018

Excerpts:

In August 2018, the Indian actress Priyanka Chopra announced she was engaged to the American pop singer Nick Jonas. The 36-year-old Chopra is more than 10 years older than Jonas, who just turned 26. According to friends, Jonas likes it that way, as he prefers older women.

Increasingly, he is not alone.

Continue reading “Younger Women Tend To Marry Older Men in the U.S. That’s Finally Changing by Dan Kopf (2018 Article)”

The Hitch With Getting Married Late In Life – Woman Marries for First Time At Age 62

 

The Hitch With Getting Married Late In Life – Woman Marries for First Time At Age 62

(Link): The Hitch With Getting Married Late In Life – Woman Marries for First Time At Age 62

Excerpts:

When you announce you’re getting married you get all sorts of excited and even envious reactions: unsolicited ideas from various Weddings R Us people when you Google anything bridal-related, engagement ring scrutiny, helpful advice and party plans from cooing girlfriends – and joyous, even tearful ooh aahs. Right?

Continue reading “The Hitch With Getting Married Late In Life – Woman Marries for First Time At Age 62”

Cathy The Single Woman Asks Pat Robertson Why God Has Not Replied to Her Prayers for Years to Send Her a Spouse

Cathy The Single Woman Asks Pat Robertson Why God Has Not Replied to Her Prayers for Years to Send Her a Spouse

On the December 10, 2018 episode of Christian program “The 700 Club,” (which you can view (Link): on You Tube here, the letter comes at 45.27 mark in the video) some single lady wrote to Pat Robertson (adult singles, (Link): stop writing Pat Robertson with your relationship questions, you will seldom get an empathetic reply!), and she said,

[Dear Pat],
I have been asking God for a godly husband for years, but it hasn’t happened yet.  So does that mean God doesn’t want me to be married?
[Signed,]
Cathy

Pat Robertson basically tells Cathy that he doesn’t know what to say, but he tacks on his standard “God puts the lonely in families” reply, which I’ve discussed before on this blog: the truth is that no, despite that Bible verse about God putting the lonely in families, that is not true.

Continue reading “Cathy The Single Woman Asks Pat Robertson Why God Has Not Replied to Her Prayers for Years to Send Her a Spouse”

Learning to Embrace Being An Older Single Woman by Pastor RC Blakes

Learning to Embrace Being An Older Single Woman by Pastor RC Blakes

Someone on Twitter, a @ExposingMammon, sent a link of this video to me on Twitter, so thank you to her. 

It’s a rather long video. I’ve so far only listened to about the first one fourth of it and would like to listen to it at a later date. For the the part I’ve listened to, it’s got some okay content.

(Link): Learning to Embrace Being An Older Single Woman by Pastor RC Blakes


Related Posts:

(Link): The Grief, Happiness, and Hope of Late-in-Life Singleness by H. Ferguson (she married for first time at age 58)

(Link):   True Love Waits . . . and Waits . . . and Waits – editorial about delayed marriage and related issues

Continue reading “Learning to Embrace Being An Older Single Woman by Pastor RC Blakes”

The Green River Serial Killer and Necrophiliac Was A Christian Married Father

The Green River Serial Killer and Necrophiliac Was A Christian Married Father

There was a television special on a few days ago about Gary Ridgway, who is the Green River serial killer.

Several aspects of this pervert’s life are relevant to subjects I discuss regularly on this blog, so keep on reading…

Ridgway had upwards of around 70 women victims, most in age of about 15 to their early 20s, though a few may have been around 12 or 13 years old.

Most of Ridgway’s victims were prostitutes, some were runaway kids.

Ridgway later admitted to authorities to occasionally going back and having sex with the dead bodies of his murder victims.

Here is how this pervert’s story is relevant to this blog:

Point 1. Marriage and Parenthood Do Not Make People Into Godly, Mature, Responsible Adults

I grew up in Southern Baptist churches. Both my parents were Southern Baptists.

Like many other conservative Christian groups, Southern Baptists peddle some untrue and un-biblical notions about marriage, natalism, and the family unit: they tend to assume and they will also sometimes teach, that marriage or parenthood are necessary to make a person fully adult, mature, godly, responsible, and ethical.

Continue reading “The Green River Serial Killer and Necrophiliac Was A Christian Married Father”

This Bride Found Love and Got Married At Age 93

This Bride Found Love and Got Married At Age 93

(Link)L This Bride Found Love and Got Married At Age 93

It was the last thing Dorothy Williams expected

Dorothy Williams had zero interest in romance. In fact, Williams, now 93, had been avowedly single since the passing of her first husband almost 25 years ago.

Then her son, John Williams, had to go and invite a man to their monthly polka dance.

Richard Rola, 87, had barely left his house since his wife of almost 60 years succumbed to cancer four years ago. One day in 2015, Rola had a leaky roof. he called John Williams, owner of a home improvement company in Macomb, Mich., where he lives, to come fix it. Williams thought Rola was a nice man and seemed lonely, so he invited him to a polka dance his family attends once a month.

To Rola’s own amazement, he said yes.

Continue reading “This Bride Found Love and Got Married At Age 93”

Never Married Adult Man Named Stephen Asks Christian Host Why God Has Not Answered His 3-Decades Long Prayers to Send Him A Wife

Never-Married Adult Man Named Stephen Asks Christian Host Why God Has Not Answered His 3-Decades Long Prayers To Send Him A Wife

On the November 2, 2018 episode of “The 700 Club,” some guy named Stephen wrote in with a question about singleness and marriage, and host Gordon Robertson answered it.

You can find the question on You Tube (Link) here, and that part of the show is in the last 5 – 10 minutes of the show. You can also watch that same episode on (Link): The 700 Club web site.

I will discuss the letter from Stephen more below.

First, I wanted to say…
Within the past 2 – 3 weeks, 700 Club has been running more than their usual number of questions from viewers about singleness and asking why hasn’t God sent them a spouse, such as this one:

(Link): James the 40 Something Year Old Single Guy Asks Why Don’t Churches Help Single Adults Get Married

I have watched this 700 Club show daily since around 2005, and sporadically prior to that, for years (my mother used to watch this show when I was a kid in the 1970s, so I’ve seen plenty of it).

Well, in most episodes, 700 Club rarely, rarely addresses adult singleness. They mostly feature married couples who are having affairs or financial problems.

They rarely address singleness, unless they have a 30- or 40 -something female co-host who is single.

Continue reading “Never Married Adult Man Named Stephen Asks Christian Host Why God Has Not Answered His 3-Decades Long Prayers to Send Him A Wife”

60 Year Old, Never- Married Woman Asks Christian TV Host Pat Robertson If Some Are Just Not Meant to Marry

60 Year Old, Never- Married Woman Asks Christian TV Host Pat Robertson If Some Are Just Not Meant to Marry

Below, in this post, is a video on You Tube, via ‘700 Club,’ uploaded on October 25, 2018, in which a 60 year old woman says she “never found a godly man to marry” and her church never has any men her age there.

She asks Robertson if some people are just never meant to marry.

As I’ve been saying on this blog for ages now, you cannot count on God, prayer, churches or Christians to fix you up with a spouse, because they won’t (churches will even shame and scold you for asking).

The woman says she’s never found a “godly” man to marry – I think that is Christian code-speak for “I haven’t found a Christian man to marry.” This woman has probably been brain-washed into accepting (Link): the “Equally Yoked” teaching.

Single ladies, if you are Christian and want marriage, the numbers are stacked against you, as I’ve explained in numerous posts before. You need to get away from this “I must marry a  Christian and only a Christian” belief, or you will end up in your 40s, never married like me, or like this 60 year old woman.

It’s better to find a kind-hearted, loving Non-Christian man to marry than end up at 60 never having been married because you could not find a compatible Christian man – there are no single Christian men in churches for you to meet and marry who are over age 30 and under age 80. They don’t attend church.

Continue reading “60 Year Old, Never- Married Woman Asks Christian TV Host Pat Robertson If Some Are Just Not Meant to Marry”

Why Millennials Are ‘Consciously’ Choosing To Remain Single

Why Millennials Are ‘Consciously’ Choosing To Remain Single

Before I get to the link to the news article about more young people choosing to stay single:

I’d just like to remind anyone out there that not all singles are single by choice. Some singles, like me, had expected and hoped to marry, but we’re still single due to circumstances.

I have to mention this because many conservatives and conservative Christians love to go into shaming mode and criticize adult singles for never marrying.

They especially like to insult, shame, and guilt trip Christian singles; they assume quite incorrectly that all adult singles intentionally chose to avoid marriage.

Many Southern Baptists, for example, like to incorrectly assume that all single females over age 30 chose career over marriage and shame us for being single. In fact, many of us had wanted to be married and did not place career over marriage.

I don’t have an issue with singles who do choose to remain single, however.

They should not be shamed for their choice.

I’m just saying I get sick and tired of Christians, such as Southern Baptist Al Mohler and Christians such as Bradford Wilcox and socialist Mark Regnerus seeing news items like the following, and wrongly assuming that ALL singles remain single by choice.

Al Mohler, other Christians, and secular, conservative think tanks shame and scold singles for not marrying, because they have this incorrect understanding of the Bible that the Bible says God prefers or wants all adults to marry, or, they wrongly believe that the Bible says that marriage “fixes” culture (the Bible does not teach anything like this, but actually says, per 1 Cor 7, that it is better to remain single).

Singles-shaming conservatives also love to write and publish and repeat bogus  studies that claim things like being single is far worse than being married, singles die younger than married people, married people supposedly have better health than singles (they do not), and so on – Bella dePaulo debunks (Link): a lot of those claims on her blog.

(Link): Why Millennials Are ‘Consciously’ Choosing To Remain Single

October 10, 2018

By Christian Gollayan

Millennials are ditching relationships and embracing singledom, according to a new survey.

Tinder and consulting firm Morar HPI surveyed 1,000 singles between 18 to 25 years old and found that 72 percent “have made a conscious decision” to stay single.

“Solo status gives young adults a sense of adventure, independence and empowerment,” the dating app said. “An overwhelming majority of young adults agree that being single benefits them beyond their romantic lives.” Continue reading “Why Millennials Are ‘Consciously’ Choosing To Remain Single”

Wealthy Women Can Afford to Reject Marriage, But Poor Women Cannot by E. Green

Wealthy Women Can Afford to Reject Marriage, But Poor Women Cannot by E. Green

(Link): Wealthy Women Can Afford to Reject Marriage, But Poor Women Cannot by E. Green

Excerpt:

Higher-income “single ladies” often push back against “patriarchy.” But the statistics don’t lie: Low-income, unmarried women face significant economic challenges when they stay single.


In a Wall Street Journal editorial this week, Bush administration press secretary Ari Fleischer wrote that “‘marriage inequality’ should be at the center of any discussion of why some Americans prosper and others don’t.” He cited statistics about the vast income disparities between single women and married women, regardless of race, and argued that these gaps would shrink if women stayed in school and waited until marriage to have kids.

At an Atlantic summit on female poverty on Wednesday, the women in the room would have none of that.

Continue reading “Wealthy Women Can Afford to Reject Marriage, But Poor Women Cannot by E. Green”

The Millennial Caregiver – from WSJ – Some Adult Singles Have No Choice But to Delay Marriage Because They Are Too Busy Acting As Caretakers to Elderly Family

Some Adult Singles Have No Choice But to Delay Marriage Because They Are Too Busy Acting As Caretakers to Elderly Family

(Link): The Millennial Caregiver

The Call to Care for Aging Parents Comes Sooner Now

More millennials are responsible for their parents and grandparents, sometimes derailing careers and family life.

… As the country grows older, its caregivers are growing younger and more squeezed. Millennials now make up 24% of the nation’s unpaid caregivers, up from 22% of young adult caregivers in 2009.

…Their numbers are expected to grow and so, too, are their challenges.

Maria Aranda, an associate professor of Social Work and Gerontology at the University of Southern California, says caregiving responsibilities can come at pivotal times in the lives of millennials and threaten to derail expected milestones, like starting families and buying a house. “Those things are being eclipsed,” says Dr. Aranda, who conducted a study of millennials … who are caring for those with dementia.

Continue reading “The Millennial Caregiver – from WSJ – Some Adult Singles Have No Choice But to Delay Marriage Because They Are Too Busy Acting As Caretakers to Elderly Family”

Joy Beth Smith Interviewed About Being a Christian Adult Single

Joy Beth Smith Interviewed About Being a Christian Adult Single

Joy Beth Smith wrote a book about Christian adult singleness called “Party For One” and was interviewed about it on the Christian program “700 Club.”

(Link):  The Subtle Art of Singleness

The Waiting

Joy Beth was raised by her mom and grew up in the Baptist church.

She participated in the True Love Waits movement where young girls betrothed themselves to Jesus and wore promise rings while saving themselves for their future husbands.

When Joy Beth was in 7th grade, she started writing love letters to this future husband and continued this practice for 10 years.  “I wrote letters all the way through college,” says Joy Beth.

She spent hours recording details of her life but one day at age 22, Joy Beth realized that she couldn’t imagine any man enjoying the experience of reading hundreds of repetitive letters.

Continue reading “Joy Beth Smith Interviewed About Being a Christian Adult Single”