Pat Robertson’s Downer, Bad Advice to Gabby the Mid-30s, Never Married Lady Who’s Not Having Success with Dating Sites

Pat Robertson’s Downer, Bad Advice to Gabby the Mid-30s, Never Married Lady Who’s Not Having Success with Dating Sites

On February 25, 2020, Christian program “The 700 Club” had Pat Robertson answer a question from a mid-30s woman named Gabby who would like to get married, but to summarize her point, she says most of the men who identify as Christian on dating sites are tawdry, gross, etc.

So, she asks Robertson what to do – which is a big mistake.

I’ve said before on this blog that single adults (especially women) should (Link): stop asking Pat Robertson for relationship advice. Because nine out of ten times, his advice will be impractical, insensitive, and/or sexist.

You can listen to the lady co-host read Gabby’s letter, and listen to Pat Robertson’s advice to her around the 45 minute mark (Link): here (CBN’s site)

(They may eventually upload that Feb. 25, 2020 question to their (Link): “Honest Answers” channel on You Tube, I don’t know.)

From what I recall of the segment when I watched it on TV:

Pat Robertson pushes the “be equally yoked” garbage on Gabby, telling her that no matter how desperate she feels, no matter if she worries about becoming “an old maid,” to NOT marry a Non-Christian.

A bit later, Robertson goes on to tell Gabby that maybe God is keeping her single because God wants her all to himself.

I almost barfed and then threw a rock at my television set when I heard that.

Continue reading “Pat Robertson’s Downer, Bad Advice to Gabby the Mid-30s, Never Married Lady Who’s Not Having Success with Dating Sites”

The “Dating Market” Is Getting Worse by A. Fetters and K. Tiffany

The “Dating Market” Is Getting Worse b A. Fetters and K. Tiffany

For anyone who cannot wait to get to it, here’s the link to the piece on The Atlantic:

(Link): The ‘Dating Market’ Is Getting Worse

Some of my comments about that piece before I put in some excerpts from it:

About the only “numbers approach” I have ever mentioned on my own blog here is that Christian women really do unnecessarily limit themselves if they try to live out the “Be Equally Yoked” philosophy in regards to dating and marriage, because the reality is, yes, the math is that there are not enough single, Christian men to go around for all the Christian single women who’d like to marry.

So, it makes sense to forgo the “equally yoked” rule, if one is a Christian, to date outside the Christian faith.

At the same time, though, I have seen other adults singles make much too much out of the “numbers game” philosophy on dating sites or comments sections on blogs about dating, where they make finding a romantic life partner sound so cold, or as though they’re shopping for a car.

There’s nothing wrong with having standards, but I am afraid there is a category of single adult who is too stringent or unrealistic with their lists of “must haves.”

I am personally turned off by anyone dispensing dating or “how to get married” advice who behave  as though there is a sure-fire guarantee way to land a spouse – because (Link): there is no such thing.

So, I’m really turned off by the many (sexist) attitudes and lists out there telling women if only the women do X, Y, and Z, they will absolutely get married to a great guy.

One problem is that most of these lists (which go viral on Twitter) are predicated on the notion that all men want and prefer 1950s, submissive, uber-feminine women.

Well, I lived that way for many decades – I was raised in a very traditional family that was into conservative values – so I had many of those prized traits sexist men online say will grant a woman a husband, but I remain never-married into my late 40s.

I was a very meek, docile, passive, sweet woman with traditional values, and no, it didn’t get me a husband.

(As I’ve aged, I’ve realized that it’s not a healthy or safe dating strategy for a woman to fit the picture of docile, overly feminine, passive, etc, that the “dating advice” gurus suggest on twitter and elsewhere, because many abusive, selfish, or controlling men intentionally seek out women with such qualities so that they can control, abuse, or take advantage of them.)

There are many conservatives – including women authors, unfortunately – who keep writing dating advice books for women, or who go on to FOX cable news morning shows, who keep encouraging women to engage in these dangerous dating strategies (of being a doormat, where being “feminine” is associated with doormat behaviors), which I’ve written about before (Link): here and (Link): here, among other blog posts.

The article below states at one point that men out-number women on dating sites. That may be so on some sites, but certainly not all.

Years ago, I had a paid membership on a dating site, and the site was forever claiming they could find no matches for me, most of the time.

For the four or five month paid subscription I had, I was only linked up to a total of about three men in that time.

My research on that particular online dating company found it’s the same with a lot of women, as it had been for me: that site tends to only “dribble out” a tiny number of matches for women, while they send male members more matches per month, every month.

Here are excerpts from…

(Link): The ‘Dating Market’ Is Getting Worse

The old but newly popular notion that one’s love life can be analyzed like an economy is flawed—and it’s ruining romance.

It’s understandable that someone like Liz [a 30 year old single who is using dating apps to find dates] might internalize the idea that dating is a game of probabilities or ratios, or a marketplace in which single people just have to keep shopping until they find “the one.”

The idea that a dating pool can be analyzed as a marketplace or an economy is both recently popular and very old:
For generations, people have been describing newly single people as (Link): 
“back on the market” and (Link): analyzing dating in terms of supply and demand.

Continue reading “The “Dating Market” Is Getting Worse by A. Fetters and K. Tiffany”

Should Churches Aid (In) Matchmaking For Lonely Singles? by J. Stonestreet

Should Churches Aid (In) Matchmaking For Lonely Singles? by John Stonestreet

Way below in this blog post is a link to an editorial at the Christian Post which asks if “churches should aid (in) matchmaking for lonely singles.” The author, Stonestreet, believes the answer to that inquiry is a definite “yes.”

Most Southern Baptist and conservative Protestant churches do not do near enough to help single adults in any capacity, let alone helping them to meet potential dates to later marry.

There is a widespread misconception by a lot of Christians that the church was founded by God only to “share the Gospel,” which is false.

The New Testament itself contains examples of “the church” being used for other purposes, such as apostle Paul taking up a monetary collection from other Christians in other churches to give to a church in financial need – as but one example. (I’ve covered this in older posts on my blog, so I shall not rehash it here.)

Continue reading “Should Churches Aid (In) Matchmaking For Lonely Singles? by J. Stonestreet”

Why Are Marriage Rates Down? Study Blames Lack Of ‘Economically-Attractive’ Men

Why Are Marriage Rates Down? Study Blames Lack Of ‘Economically-Attractive’ Men

(Link): Marriage rates down due to a shortage of ’economically attractive’ men 

Sept 2019

Sorry, guys, women are not saying “I do” because you’re not making enough dough.

It’s even worse for African-Americans.

According to a new (Link): study by Cornell University professors cited by the National Council on Family Relation’s Journal of Marriage and Family, one reason marriage rates are down nationwide is because prospective husbands can’t provide enough financial security.

Continue reading “Why Are Marriage Rates Down? Study Blames Lack Of ‘Economically-Attractive’ Men”

Don’t Settle for Crumbs: Hope for Christian Singles (video)

Don’t Settle for Crumbs: Hope for Christian Singles

Thoughts Regarding ‘Both Purity Culture and Hook-Up Culture Failed Me’ by A. Murrish

Thoughts Regarding ‘Both Purity Culture and Hook-Up Culture Failed Me’ by A. Murrish

First, here is a link to the page I will be discussing:

(Link): Both Purity Culture and Hook-Up Culture Failed Me

I don’t care for this editorial.

For one thing it sort of spiritualizes the status of singleness, which is grating to any adult over the age of 35, who had hoped to marry, but is still single.

Next, the author points to the church as a solution for singles.

She is essentially telling marriage-desiring singles to lose themselves in church, to find belonging in church groups.

The problem with this is that for many never-married adults (and some divorced and widowed) over the age of 30, most churches either ignore adult singles, or they insult adult singles, because they are too preoccupied with promoting marriage and catering to the needs of married couples.

Continue reading “Thoughts Regarding ‘Both Purity Culture and Hook-Up Culture Failed Me’ by A. Murrish”

The War Over Marriage Is Raging; Single People Are Winning by B. DePaulo

The War Over Marriage Is Raging; Single People Are Winning by B. DePaulo

(Link):  The War Over Marriage Is Raging; Single People Are Winning

Excerpts:

Once again, the claim that marriage is greedy has people riled up

July 11, 2019

To everyone who has been rooting for, and working on, the telling of a more accurate and affirming story about single people, and the shattering of myths about married people, there is good news: We are winning.

Continue reading “The War Over Marriage Is Raging; Single People Are Winning by B. DePaulo”

What Christians Really Think About the Church’s Relationship Advice by Anna Broadway

What Christians Really Think About the Church’s Relationship Advice by Anna Broadway

The following article (book review) from Christianity Today covers several topics about singleness and the church I’ve been pointing out on this blog for literally years now.

One big point it brings up that I have: there are more single Christian women in the church than there are single Christian men. This means if a Christian single female insists upon following the “equally yoked” rule (that states a Christian may only marry another Christian), she will remain single.

If you are a single Christian woman who desires marriage, it is imperative you ditch the ‘equally yoked’ rule. You must learn to judge men based on their character, not what their stated religious beliefs are.

(Link): What Christians Really Think About the Church’s Relationship Advice by Anna Broadway

Excerpts:

New survey research sheds light on how believers navigate the stickier matters of dating and marriage.

July 10, 2019

Over the years, Christians have produced and read far more books on how relationships and singleness should work than on how these things actuallydo pan out. Vicky Walker’s new book Relatable: Exploring God, Love, & Connection in the Age of Choice, based on a survey of more than 1,400 people, aims to change that.

Walker writes from a more-or-less Protestant British perspective, but American Christians will find much they recognize.

Over the course of 12 chapters and several appendices, Relatable covers everything from the history of marriage to typical teachings on gender roles to, of course, sex. But she also gets into stickier matters like the role of technology and the church’s significant sex-ratio gap—the latter a topic that raises questions of dating outside the faith.

Continue reading “What Christians Really Think About the Church’s Relationship Advice by Anna Broadway”

What You Lose When You Gain a Spouse – What if marriage is not the social good that so many believe and want it to be? by M. Catron

What You Lose When You Gain a Spouse

What if marriage is not the social good that so many believe and want it to be? by M. Catron

This is similar to a study that came out a few years ago that I blogged about, where researches dubbed marriages “Greedy Marriages,” because when people get married, they tend to turn inwards and ignore neighbors and family members (single adults generally do not do this, according to the study).

(Link): What You Lose When You Gain a Spouse

Excerpts:

July 2019

In America today, it’s easy to believe that marriage is a social good—that our lives and our communities are better when more people get and stay married.

There have, of course, been massive changes to the institution over the past few generations, leading the occasional cultural critic to ask: Is marriage becoming obsolete? But few of these people seem genuinely interested in the answer.

More often the question functions as a kind of rhetorical sleight of hand, a way of stirring up moral panic about changing family values or speculating about whether society has become too cynical for love.

In popular culture, the sentiment still prevails that marriage makes us happy and divorce leaves us lonely, and that never getting married at all is a fundamental failure of belonging.

But speculation about whether or not marriage is obsolete overlooks a more important question: What is lost by making marriage the most central relationship in a culture?

Continue reading “What You Lose When You Gain a Spouse – What if marriage is not the social good that so many believe and want it to be? by M. Catron”

It’s Never Too Late for Love: Widows, 100 and 102, Marry After a Year of Dating by J. Hahn

It’s Never Too Late for Love: Widows, 100 and 102, Marry After a Year of Dating by J. Hanh

(Link): Meet the Cooks. He’s 100, she’s 102, and they just got married.

(Link): It’s Never Too Late for Love: Widows, 100 and 102, Marry After a Year of Dating

July 2019

John and Phyllis Cook fell for each other in their shared assisted living facility

A senior couple is proving that it’s never too late to find love, even if it comes many years after your first.

According to NBC 24, John and Phyllis Cook have been dating for a year after meeting in their shared assisted living facility in Ohio. Their love blossomed over the course of their courtship, and on Wednesday, the two sealed the deal and secured a marriage license, making their union official.

Continue reading “It’s Never Too Late for Love: Widows, 100 and 102, Marry After a Year of Dating by J. Hahn”

The Divorce Rate Is at a 40-Year Low, Unless You’re 55 or Older By Jo Craven McGinty

The Divorce Rate Is at a 40-Year Low, Unless You’re 55 or Older

(Link): The Divorce Rate Is at a 40-Year Low, Unless You’re 55 or Older

Excerpts:

Younger married couples are less likely to split up, but ‘gray’ divorces among older couples are on the rise

June 2019
By Jo Craven McGinty

….In 2017, around one million couples in the U.S. called it quits.

That may sound like a lot of busted unions, but the rate of divorce—just like the rate of marriage—is down.

Today, younger married couples are less likely to split up than they once were, driving the trend. But, at the same time, the rate of divorce for older generations has increased in a phenomenon known as “gray” divorce.

Continue reading “The Divorce Rate Is at a 40-Year Low, Unless You’re 55 or Older By Jo Craven McGinty”

Conservatives Have Now Abandoned All Pretense of Advocating For Sexual Abstinence and They Actually Lament the Lack of Fornication – The Bradford Wilcox Piece, 2019

Conservatives Have Now Abandoned All Pretense of Advocating For Sexual Abstinence and They Actually Lament the Lack of Fornication – The Bradford Wilcox Piece, 2019

The following piece at The Atlantic (“The Happiness Recession”) was written by marriage-idolater and anti-singleness bigot of The Institute for Family Studies, W. Bradford Wilcox, and co-writer Lyman Stone.

I’d like to remind any new-comers to this blog that I am a life long conservative. I am not a liberal.

Marriage Is Not A Guarantee For Good or Regular Sex

This moronic essay actually suggests that single adults having less sex is what has led to them reporting higher rates of unhappiness, if I’m understanding things correctly.

This, astonishingly, from a right wing organization, (Link): The Institute For Family Studies, that claims to promote “strong families,” and good Lord knows they are obsessed with promoting marriage, even if that comes at the expense of singleness.

The members of this organization regularly publish materials intended to scare, guilt, shame, or pressure single adults into getting married, because this organization exists to promote the nuclear family: hetero-marriage where the couple have children.

Continue reading “Conservatives Have Now Abandoned All Pretense of Advocating For Sexual Abstinence and They Actually Lament the Lack of Fornication – The Bradford Wilcox Piece, 2019”

In Which U.S. Cities Do The Majority of Single Christians – Specifically Those Who Regularly Attend Church – Live? by B. Showalter

In Which U.S. Cities Do The Majority of Single Christians – Specifically Those Who Regularly Attend Church – Live? by B. Showalter

There have been so many articles released this past week pertaining to the topics I normally blog about here, I can barely keep up. Here’s another one.

The second article below is from The Christian Post (as I said below the Tweet of this that was put out by The Christian Post: “Does it really matter since most churches do not have over 30s age singles groups and/or they insult singles for being single?”)

(Link): Single Practicing Christians Tend to Be in Big Cities – via Barna

(Link): In which U.S. cities do the majority of single Christians – specifically those who regularly attend church — live?

Excerpts:

by B. Showalter, Feb 2019

Which U.S. cities do the majority of Christian singles call home?

The majority of Christian singles tend to dwell in large East Coast cities, according to Barna.

In a study (Link): released this week, researchers unpacked how much the dating and relationship landscape has changed in the U.S. Barna has consistently tracked for many years the relationship status of practicing Christians — defined as those who attend a religious service at least once a month, self-identify as Christian, and say their faith is important to them.

Continue reading “In Which U.S. Cities Do The Majority of Single Christians – Specifically Those Who Regularly Attend Church – Live? by B. Showalter”

Never Married Person Ticked Off Because Churches Don’t Support Never Marrieds Who Do Not Want To Be Married

Never Married Person Ticked Off Because Churches Don’t Support Never Marrieds Who Do Not Want To Be Married

I once posted to a thread about adult singleness at another blog in 2014.

A person or two left comments there that I am just now, in 2019, seeing (as of last night).

I support single adults who’ve always been single who do NOT want to be married.

I’m a never married adult who wanted to be married, but it did not happen for me.

A person calling him or herself “Ehartsay” left a comment in that thread in 2014, (Link): here. I will just assume this is a woman poster.

Here is a portion of her comment:

by Ehartsay:

It has started to leave be with a feeling like even in this camp it is really only accepted to stay longterm single because of high standards, but still holding out hope for marriage, and not because you simply don’t want to be or care care about getting married

Even the ‘Christian Pundit’ seems to take care to establish that she wanted and still wants to get married, and would have been but for circumstances.
How about some live [love] for the marriage averse among us?
//////

Here is the reply I left to her:

Ehartsay,
Why are you criticizing me for wanting to be married? That’s what it sounds like you’re doing. I wish I had seen that post of yours back in 2014 – it’s five years later now.

On my blog, I have said in different blogs posts over the last few years I don’t have a problem with singles who enjoy being single and have no desire for marriage, and I’ve said on my blog that churches should treat such singles with respect and not try to cram marriage down their throats.

But I find your nit picking over my comment to be insulting.

What is it to you if I honestly would still like to marry?

Continue reading “Never Married Person Ticked Off Because Churches Don’t Support Never Marrieds Who Do Not Want To Be Married”

Younger Women Tend To Marry Older Men in the U.S. That’s Finally Changing by Dan Kopf (2018 Article)

Younger Women Tend To Marry Older Men in the U.S. That’s Finally Changing by Dan Kopf (2018 Article)

(Link): Younger Women Tend To Marry Older Men in the U.S. That’s Finally Changing by Dan Kopf – October 2018

Excerpts:

In August 2018, the Indian actress Priyanka Chopra announced she was engaged to the American pop singer Nick Jonas. The 36-year-old Chopra is more than 10 years older than Jonas, who just turned 26. According to friends, Jonas likes it that way, as he prefers older women.

Increasingly, he is not alone.

Continue reading “Younger Women Tend To Marry Older Men in the U.S. That’s Finally Changing by Dan Kopf (2018 Article)”

The Hitch With Getting Married Late In Life – Woman Marries for First Time At Age 62

 

The Hitch With Getting Married Late In Life – Woman Marries for First Time At Age 62

(Link): The Hitch With Getting Married Late In Life – Woman Marries for First Time At Age 62

Excerpts:

When you announce you’re getting married you get all sorts of excited and even envious reactions: unsolicited ideas from various Weddings R Us people when you Google anything bridal-related, engagement ring scrutiny, helpful advice and party plans from cooing girlfriends – and joyous, even tearful ooh aahs. Right?

Continue reading “The Hitch With Getting Married Late In Life – Woman Marries for First Time At Age 62”

Cathy The Single Woman Asks Pat Robertson Why God Has Not Replied to Her Prayers for Years to Send Her a Spouse

Cathy The Single Woman Asks Pat Robertson Why God Has Not Replied to Her Prayers for Years to Send Her a Spouse

On the December 10, 2018 episode of Christian program “The 700 Club,” (which you can view (Link): on You Tube here, the letter comes at 45.27 mark in the video) some single lady wrote to Pat Robertson (adult singles, (Link): stop writing Pat Robertson with your relationship questions, you will seldom get an empathetic reply!), and she said,

[Dear Pat],
I have been asking God for a godly husband for years, but it hasn’t happened yet.  So does that mean God doesn’t want me to be married?
[Signed,]
Cathy

Pat Robertson basically tells Cathy that he doesn’t know what to say, but he tacks on his standard “God puts the lonely in families” reply, which I’ve discussed before on this blog: the truth is that no, despite that Bible verse about God putting the lonely in families, that is not true.

Continue reading “Cathy The Single Woman Asks Pat Robertson Why God Has Not Replied to Her Prayers for Years to Send Her a Spouse”

Learning to Embrace Being An Older Single Woman by Pastor RC Blakes

Learning to Embrace Being An Older Single Woman by Pastor RC Blakes

Someone on Twitter, a @ExposingMammon, sent a link of this video to me on Twitter, so thank you to her. 

It’s a rather long video. I’ve so far only listened to about the first one fourth of it and would like to listen to it at a later date. For the the part I’ve listened to, it’s got some okay content.

(Link): Learning to Embrace Being An Older Single Woman by Pastor RC Blakes


Related Posts:

(Link): The Grief, Happiness, and Hope of Late-in-Life Singleness by H. Ferguson (she married for first time at age 58)

(Link):   True Love Waits . . . and Waits . . . and Waits – editorial about delayed marriage and related issues

Continue reading “Learning to Embrace Being An Older Single Woman by Pastor RC Blakes”

The Green River Serial Killer and Necrophiliac Was A Christian Married Father

The Green River Serial Killer and Necrophiliac Was A Christian Married Father

There was a television special on a few days ago about Gary Ridgway, who is the Green River serial killer.

Several aspects of this pervert’s life are relevant to subjects I discuss regularly on this blog, so keep on reading…

Ridgway had upwards of around 70 women victims, most in age of about 15 to their early 20s, though a few may have been around 12 or 13 years old.

Most of Ridgway’s victims were prostitutes, some were runaway kids.

Ridgway later admitted to authorities to occasionally going back and having sex with the dead bodies of his murder victims.

Here is how this pervert’s story is relevant to this blog:

Point 1. Marriage and Parenthood Do Not Make People Into Godly, Mature, Responsible Adults

I grew up in Southern Baptist churches. Both my parents were Southern Baptists.

Like many other conservative Christian groups, Southern Baptists peddle some untrue and un-biblical notions about marriage, natalism, and the family unit: they tend to assume and they will also sometimes teach, that marriage or parenthood are necessary to make a person fully adult, mature, godly, responsible, and ethical.

Continue reading “The Green River Serial Killer and Necrophiliac Was A Christian Married Father”

This Bride Found Love and Got Married At Age 93

This Bride Found Love and Got Married At Age 93

(Link)L This Bride Found Love and Got Married At Age 93

It was the last thing Dorothy Williams expected

Dorothy Williams had zero interest in romance. In fact, Williams, now 93, had been avowedly single since the passing of her first husband almost 25 years ago.

Then her son, John Williams, had to go and invite a man to their monthly polka dance.

Richard Rola, 87, had barely left his house since his wife of almost 60 years succumbed to cancer four years ago. One day in 2015, Rola had a leaky roof. he called John Williams, owner of a home improvement company in Macomb, Mich., where he lives, to come fix it. Williams thought Rola was a nice man and seemed lonely, so he invited him to a polka dance his family attends once a month.

To Rola’s own amazement, he said yes.

Continue reading “This Bride Found Love and Got Married At Age 93”