Utah Man Kills Wife, Five Kids in Murder-Suicide After Wife Files for Divorce – Nuclear Families Don’t Make People Happier or Fix Society; Marriage Doesn’t Make People More Loving and Ethical

Utah Man Kills Wife, Five Kids in Murder-Suicide After Wife Files for Divorce – Nuclear Families Don’t Make People Happier or Fix Society; Marriage Doesn’t Make People More Loving and Ethical

(Link): Utah man kills wife, five kids in murder-suicide after wife files for divorce

Jan 5, 2023
By Snejana Farberov

A 42-year-old Utah man gunned down seven family members, including his five children between ages 4 and 17, then turned the gun on himself — two weeks after his wife had filed for divorce, authorities said.

Officials in Enoch City on Thursday identified the suspected gunman in the murder-suicide as 42-year-old Michael Haight, and the victims as his wife, Tausha Haight, 40, their three daughters, ages 17, 12 and 7, and two sons, ages 7 and 4.

Also killed was Tausha Haight’s mother, 78-year-old Gail Earl, according to a press release from the Enoch City government. Each of the victims appeared to have gunshot wounds.

Court records showed wife Tausha had filed for divorce from Michael on Dec. 21, but it was not immediately known why she had sought to end their marriage.

Man Legally Changed Genders to Gain Custody of His Kids; Trans Groups Concerned

Man Legally Changed Genders to Gain Custody of His Kids; Trans Groups Concerned

Progressive causes like LGBTQ can have all kinds of terrible and unintended consequences, one of which is, perverted men claiming to be trans getting access to women’s bathrooms so they can sexually assault women, but then, there are other odd ball, troubling, or strange ramifications, such as this one (and why would Trans groups be upset about this? Their weird views about sex and gender are responsible for opening this can of worms in the first place)…

Also way further below, I discuss the apparent hypocrisy of conservatives, including Christian gender complementarians, about their inconsistency of when and where to support motherhood, and I also comment on conservative commentator Tucker Carlson’s sexist attitudes about women having careers.

(Link): Man Legally Changed Gender to Gain Custody of His Kids. Trans Groups Are Concerned. – via VICE:

Excerpts:

René Salinas Ramos says the legal change is an attempt to gain full custody of his daughters, because Ecuadoran law favors mothers in custody battles.

By Nathaniel Janowitz
January 5, 2023

A cisgender man in Ecuador legally changed his gender to female in an attempt to gain custody of his two daughters. But LGBTQ groups are concerned about the man’s use of a law designed to promote transgender rights, and what effect it could have in the future.

René Salinas Ramos, 47, told local media that the change was not related to his sexuality or identity, but rather that the Ecuadorian legal system gives preferable rights to mothers over fathers when it comes to the custody of children.

… “I am very sure of my sexuality. What I have sought is that I want to be a mother, so that I can also give the love and protection of a mother.”

Happy Christmas Darling, Here’s Your Divorce Papers… New Trend Sees Spouses Serving Papers as Presents as a Means of ‘Taking Back Control’

Happy Christmas Darling, Here’s Your Divorce Papers… New Trend Sees Spouses Serving Papers as Presents as a Means of ‘Taking Back Control’

This sounds petty, narcissistic, and unnecessarily cruel – just divorce the person on any other day; don’t double the blow by announcing it on a “special day” (such as their birthday, or on a major holiday).

(Link): Happy Christmas darling, here’s your divorce papers… New trend sees spouses serving papers as presents as a means of ‘taking back control’

by Andy Dolan
January 1, 2023

In the wake of Christmas conflict, January is traditionally one of the busiest times of the year for a divorce lawyer.

But in case you need quirky gift ideas for the year ahead, there’s a new trend – serving your spouse with divorce papers as a Christmas present, just as Den did to Angie in EastEnders in 1986. Birthdays or even anniversaries are also an option.

Diane Benussi, who runs a large matrimonial law firm in Birmingham, said clients had spoken of presenting the papers as a means of ‘taking back control’.

Ms Benussi, herself a divorcee, said: ‘I’ve had one female client recently who has explicitly told me she would be serving papers on her partner on his impending birthday.

Georgia Divorce Lawyer is Shot Dead ‘By Estranged Husband of Female Client After He Won Her $170,000 Settlement’ Before His Office is Torched with His Remains Inside

Georgia Divorce Lawyer is Shot Dead ‘By Estranged Husband of Female Client After He Won Her $170,000 Settlement’ Before His Office is Torched with His Remains Inside

Hello, Al Mohler, Philip Derrida, Brad Wilcox and other worshippers of Marriage and The Nuclear Family: marriage did not make this man more godly, mature, or ethical, and his marriage did not improve society. He ended up murdering a divorce lawyer.

(Link):  Georgia man charged with killing ex-wife’s divorce lawyer, then torching office 

Dec 11, 2022

A disgruntled Georgia man is charged with murder for allegedly gunning down his ex-wife’s divorce attorney — and then setting the victim’s law office on fire, according to reports.

(Link): Georgia divorce lawyer is shot dead ‘by estranged husband of female client after he won her $170,000 settlement’ before his office is torched with his remains inside

by Melissa Koenig
December 11, 2022

A Georgia divorce attorney was shot dead by the estranged husband of one of his clients before the disgruntled man torched his office with his remains still inside, authorities allege.

Lawrenceville police say Doug Lewis was alone inside his offices on Stone Mountain Street Wednesday evening when Allen Tayeh walked in and shot him dead.

Tayeh then allegedly poured gasoline all over Lewis’s office, and started a fire before he was spotted walking away from the scene of the crime suffering from burns of his own.

Investigators now say Tayeh owed Lewis more than $28,000 in legal fees, after the well-respected attorney won his ex-wife a $170,000 settlement and a judge ordered he pay for his exes’ attorney’s fees as well.

Wife Asks If It Is Okay To Warn Husband That She Will Leave Him If He Becomes More Obese – Yes, Complementarians, Women Are Visually Oriented Too!

Wife Asks If It Is Okay To Warn Husband That She Will Leave Him If He Becomes More Obese – Yes, Complementarians, Women Are Visually Oriented Too!

Not only will many people find too much excess weight horrible to look at, but being overweight can result in life-shortening medical conditions.

The thinner spouse may end up being the “care taker” to the fat spouse – that is not a role I would want for myself.

A lot of women are visually oriented and care about what a man looks like, but Christian Gender Complementarians have un-biblical, incorrect teachings and assumptions that God “wired” men to be visual, that women only care about “emotional connection” and not what a guy looks like – FALSE!

Women DO CARE about what their male partner looks like.

The woman in the following example says she “doesn’t care” about what her husband looks like, but she isn’t quite clear on this point, because she says when they first met, her spouse lifted weights regularly and stayed in shape – I am not clear if she means she was okay with the way he looked initially, but now she’s not, or what.

(Link): Wife Asks If It Is Okay To Warn Husband That She Will Leave Him If He Becomes More Obese

by Jurgita Dominauskaitė and Saulė Tolstych
Dec 2022

The traditional vow the bride and the groom give one another goes something like this: “I take you to be my wife/husband, to have and to hold from this day forward, for better, for worse, for richer, for poorer, in sickness and in health, to love and to cherish, until parted by death.”

But what if you are really annoyed that your spouse is getting sick and they aren’t doing anything to prevent it when they can?

Is that enough of a reason to leave them? This woman online asks the internet if she would be unreasonable to threaten to divorce her husband if he became morbidly obese.

More info: Mumsnet [I want to tell my husband I will divorce him if he gains a lot more weight]

Woman noticed her husband has been gaining weight and wants to tell him that if he ends up like his dad, she will leave him

The Original Poster (OP) has a father-in-law who is morbidly obese and has so much excess weight that he finds it hard to walk. This concept is hard for the woman to wrap her head around as she likes to be active and couldn’t imagine doing that to one’s body.

Guy Cheats On His Wife And Divorces Her, Expects Her To Mother His Kids From The Affair After His Second Wife’s Death

Guy Cheats On His Wife And Divorces Her, Expects Her To Mother His Kids From The Affair After His Second Wife’s Death

So what we have here is a guy who had an affair on his first wife.

(A sixteen year old girl wrote in asking for advice about all this. This guy she’s talking about is her father.)

This guy and Wife 1 had two children together, a boy and a girl.

Wife 1 divorced him (or he divorced her), and the guy married his mistress, who became Wife 2, “Kate.” 

The guy and Kate had two kids together, “Ellie” and “Tommy.”

Ellie was a product of the guy’s affair – that is, while this guy was married to Wife 1, he committed adultery with Kate, and Kate got knocked up with Ellie. Tommy, the boy, was born AFTER the guy married Kate.

After X number of years of marriage, Kate died. 

Now, the two kids of Kate and the guy (Ellie and Tommy) miss their mother and miss having a maternal figure in their lives, and they – and the ex Husband (their biological father) – are now demanding that Wife 1 act as their mother and start including them in holidays, “babying” them, acting maternal towards them, and what not.

Wife 1 and her kids from the first marriage want nothing to do with this arrangement. (And I don’t blame them.)

If I remember right, Kate’s family cut ties with Kate and the guy and their two kids (Ellie and Tommy) because they were upset, offended, or angry that Kate was a mistress who stole this guy away from his first wife. 

Look, I feel for those kids (Ellie and Tommy). It has to be difficult to lose your mother especially at a young age, but it’s not Wife 1’s responsibility to step up to the plate to “mother” the two kids popped out by Former Mistress Kate (who became Wife 2). 

I think that the dad (the ex husband) is entitled here – very entitled. It’s bad enough this ass hat cheated on Wife 1 with Kate, but he’s also now demanding that Wife 1 take over “mother” duties for the kids he and Kate had together.

Let me tell you – if you’re a single woman on a dating site or app, watch out for things like this.

Dating a parent (a person with children from a previous marriage) can be a huge mistake. This guy is probably on dating apps and sites right now, seeking Wife 3, or, if he’s not on dating sites now, he will probably join one in the future.

On any of his dating site profiles, he will probably omit that he lost Wife 1 via divorce due to his affair with “Kate.” He’ll leave that out, and just expect YOU to baby and take care of his children by Kate.

Avoid guys like this. Avoid, avoid, avoid. It’s better to stay single than get mixed up in taking on responsibilities and selfish, irresponsible, entitled ass clowns like this guy.

It’s not Wife 1’s job or duty to be a care taker and/or free therapist to his two children by Kate who are probably in the grieving process.

This father in this example needs to be spending time with both his children, attending to their emotional needs as they are grieving their mother. He also probably needs to take them each to separate, regular therapy sessions for a couple of years, so they can talk and cry to a therapist and work through their grief.

He may also want to try signing them up for free Grief Share meetings, that tend to meet regularly at churches around the nation (Grief Share meetings are free). They can sit in a circle of other people and talk through their feelings of loss and get their emotional needs met that way.

I do feel bad for the kids who are currently around ages 9 and 11. At that age, all they know is, their real mom is gone, they are grieving her, and they are wanting a maternal figure they can go to.

From their perspective, they aren’t going to see why it’s a big deal for the step-mom to step up and act as their mother now. I can totally understand from THEIR view why and how they can feel that way.

It’s a sad situation… because from the adult perspective, the step-mother owes the 9 and 11 year old nothing, but the kids are going to have a difficult time understanding or accepting that. The choice is hers, the adult woman, as to whether or not take on the role of acting like a maternal figure to them.

Sounds to me as though this guy is selfish and doesn’t want to do any parenting; he just wants to dump the two kids off at the ex-wife’s (Wife 1’s) house and have her cater to them as they cry and weep over their dead mom.

If this guy wants his second batch of two kids to have a mother, he needs to get re-married. It’s not the responsibility of Wife 1 to “act as a mother figure” to his second set of kids by his mistress Kate. That this guy would even THINK this is acceptable is a clue to me he’s probably a narcissist. 

This dad should stop using his 16 year old daughter by Wife 1 as a pawn in all this. He’s going to her, the teen daughter, to get her to try to convince Wife 1 to be a mother figure to his second set of kids. 

Also: notice how being married and a father did NOT make this man more ethical, responsible, mature, or godly.

(Link): Guy Cheats On His Wife And Divorces Her, Expects Her To Mother His Kids From The Affair After His Second Wife’s Death

Excerpts (the site summarizes the story while also providing screen shots of the original poster’s text):

by Konstancija Gasaitytė and Monika Pašukonytė

…Despite thinking that family is something that makes us feel safe and secure, sometimes because of certain twists and turns, it tends to fall apart.

Having this in mind, Reddit user @u/Affectionate_Kick521 decided to share the situation she found herself in that involved her parents and siblings.

The story which received more than 12k upvotes soon started a discussion online about how parents should behave in situations like this and how kids shouldn’t be the ones telling their parents how to deal with difficult circumstances. 

[Their source: (Link): AITA for saying I don’t care if my half siblings feel left out because it’s not my mom’s job to mother them?]

The 16-year-old author of the post started her story by sharing that she lived with her mom, dad, and her brother until it was revealed that her dad was having an affair.

After the news broke out, the man and his wife divorced and he went to live with and eventually marry the other woman, Kate.

Together they had two kids: 11-year-old Ellie and 9-year-old Tommy. After a year, Kate died and this is when all the problems started.

Divorcee Learns to Enjoy Life Again After 35 Year Marriage Ends by J. Ivey

Divorcee Learns to Enjoy Life Again After 35 Year Marriage Ends by J. Ivey

I could not find a copy of this online, so I cannot link to it. I have a print copy.

Someone did upload a copy to Scribd, but you have to have a subscription or whatever to read past the first few paragraphs

Girlfriend Power

Excerpts:

February / March 2022

It was the first Valentine’s Day after my marriage ended. The last thing I wanted to do was go to a party with a bunch of single ladies

Girlfriend Power by Jennie Ivey

[The author opens the piece by explaining that she and her husband George were divorcing after 35 years of marriage.]

… For the first time in decades, I wasn’t part of a couple. For the first time in my life, I was living alone.

… Why oh why had I said I’d go to my friend Pat’s Valentine’s party? “Celebrate with other singles at a girls’ night in,” the invitation read. “Food! Music! Games! Fun!”

[Initially, she called her friend who was throwing the party to decline. The friend told her the reason for the party started years before, when her husband served her divorce papers on Valentine’s Day, and her father died on Valentine’s Day a few years prior. The friend replied,]

… “instead of moping around because we’re not coupled up, we get together to have a good time.” She wouldn’t take no for an answer.

“And one more thing, Jennie – you have to wear pink or red. It’s a Valentine’s party rule!”

[She mentions that her ex husband George was a surgeon, and while he wasn’t the greatest husband, he did okay on Valentine’s – he’d bring her flowers or candy in heart shaped boxes and so on]

Before I left for Pat’s I said a quick prayer. I hadn’t done a whole lot of praying since the breakup of my marriage. Sometimes I felt mad at God. Furious even.

Did he care that I was suddenly single at 60, an age when most couples were looking forward to retirement and spending time with their kids and grandkids together?

My prayer that evening was short and to the point: God, please show me how to be single.

Jealous Ex Shoots Off His Wife’s New Boyfriend’s Penis with a Handgun – Then Laughs While Describing What Happened to Police

Jealous Ex Shoots Off His Wife’s New Boyfriend’s Penis with a Handgun – Then Laughs While Describing What Happened to Police

If you’re a single adult, tired of being single, just look at news stories like this and cheer up – being in a relationship isn’t a guarantee of happiness, not when your S.O.’s former flame shows up to shoot you with a gun in your genitals.

The guy says the shooting was an accident, but I don’t think the police are buying that. The ex wife says it was deliberate.

Is it worse to be single, or be shot in the genitals? 🤣

(Link): Jealous ex shoots off his wife’s new boyfriend’s penis with a handgun – then laughs while describing what happened to police

By Chris Matthews
Nov 11, 2022

A jealous ex-husband laughed as he told police how he shot off his wife’s new lover’s penis with a handgun.

Bunteurm Oonkaew, 37, had been drinking with his own girlfriend when he flew into a rage and stormed over to his ex-wife’s home in Chumphon, southern Thailand, on Thursday night.

He pushed open the door before pointing the gun at Somchai Sakoolchai, 40, and blasting him in the groin, which Bunteurm claims was an accident.

Horrified ex-wife Ubonrat, 35, called the police and Bunteurm, a lottery ticket seller, was arrested at his home.

Couples Who Marry Due to Family, Social Pressure 50% More Likely to Divorce: Study – reportage by Leonardo Blair

Couples Who Marry Due to Family, Social Pressure 50% More Likely to Divorce: Study – reportage by Leonardo Blair

And what do conservative Christians (who tend to be hyper-pro-marriage-and-pro-parenthood-and-pro-nuclear family) do BUT to highly pressure and shame single, childless adults into marrying.

I did a post here years ago about a woman who says she felt pressured to marry by her church, so she ended up marrying the wrong guy, and she regretted it, and she divorced (link to that is below, under “Related Posts”).

Christians and pro-nuclear family conservatives deify marriage (and parenthood and the nuclear family) to such an un-biblical, absurd degree that they end up alienating, insulting, and marginalizing any adult who doesn’t marry or have kids for whatever reason, and it needs to stop.

And by the way, for single adult women who had wanted to marry but remain single after the age of 30, 40, or older, getting married is not easy, but so many conservatives incorrectly assume that if you want marriage, it is easy-peasy, it’s a total snap, that if you want marriage, it will “just happen”,

(or, conservatives – and sometimes secular liberals, too – incredibly, insultingly, and unrealistically – expect single, adult women to “settle” for marrying stupid, abusive, weird, disturbed, sexist, ugly, fat, or idiot men
– of course, they hypocritically would not expect their own single adult daughter to marry a loser or weirdo (no, they advise their own single adult daughter to hold out for a quality catch),
but they feel fine advising non-family single females they run into to marry ANY GUY with a pulse who they cross paths with – it is so hypocritical and demeaning).

If one is a single, adult woman who desires marriage, it is not easy to find a decent, compatible man to marry – not on dating sites, bars, or in churches, either (most churches lack marrying-age single men, and some of the men who attend are abusive or are pedophiles who want to marry an adult woman to act as a “beard” to hide their sexual attraction to children).

(Link): Couples Who Marry Due to Family, Social Pressure 50% More Likely to Divorce: Study by Leonardo Blair

Excerpts:

Nov 2, 2022
by Leonardo Blair

Couples who get married due to family or social pressure are up to 50% more at risk of having a union that ends in divorce, according to a recent study from the Marriage Foundation in England and Wales.

The study, “Attitudes towards marriage and commitment,” published in October, asked 2,000 adults who had ever married how much they agreed or disagreed with each of 12 reasons presented by researchers for why they got married.

To ensure that the findings were relevant to today’s families, researchers then focused on 905 couples from the sample who married for the first time after the year 2000 when online dating emerged.

“What this research shows conclusively is that the reasons why people get married has a significant material impact to whether they stay together. While this might seem obvious, this has never been quantified,” said Harry Benson, Marriage Foundation’s research director, in a statement about the study shared with The Christian Post. “But the message is clear. Get married for love and your future together and not because it is either expected of you or because of family pressure.”

The Dad Is The A-Hole: Dad Rages as Wife Refuses to Pay for His Kids from Another Marriage

The Dad Is The A-Hole: Dad Rages as Wife Refuses to Pay for His Kids from Another Marriage

As someone who has no desire to marry a dude previously married and especially a previously married guy with kids from said previous marriage, I am on “Team Stacey” on this one.

I was always sexually responsible… I did not diddle around outside of marriage, because I didn’t want to get pregnant (birth control is not 100% effective, and I don’t believe in abortion).

If you’re divorced and you re-marry, it is not your new spouse’s job, obligation, or duty to emotionally or financially support your crotch fruit from your previous relationship. No psychologist, therapist, of family counselor out there can convince me otherwise.

And single parents can be huge hypocrites on this one – I used to lurk at child free forums filled with never-married, child free adults who said they keep noticing on dating sites and dating apps that the single parents say they expect YOU to be a loving, nurturing, considerate step-parent to their kids from a previous marriage,
but
they also specify in their dating profiles that they do not want YOU to have any kids of your own from one of your prior relationships
– those types of single parents can go f*ck themselves sideways.

The hypocrisy with single parents who demand you be okay with them already having children (and these are often also the same types who annoyingly insist on their profile pages that they and their kids are a “package deal,” and “you MUST ACCEPT THAT FULLY” – insert barf emoji here 🤮) while they are not okay with YOU already having kids (if you do), and they also demand that only child-free adults contact them for dating in their dating profiles – is astounding.

I myself never married, I was sexually abstinent, so I never had children, I did not want that responsibility, so I was sexually responsible. If you think I would be willing to take on parent-like responsibilities (or any at all) to YOUR children from your last relationship, think again.

This guy is entitled.

It’s not his second wife’s responsibility to care for his kids from a former marriage, financial or otherwise – and especially considering he pressured, demanded, forced her, or expected her, to pay for half of all household expenses, which his children from his first marriage benefit from.

But I can imagine a percentage of single parents out there RAGING at that – miffed at the idea that there are childless adults such as myself who don’t feel the least obligated to help them raise their kids from another partner. That’s how life goes.

My dating preferences and values are mine. I am not obligated to change them because someone else is having a total hissy fit due to poor life choices they made, and I refuse to go along with it.

I have no empathy for this guy. Zippo. His second wife owes his kids from Marriage One nothing, not in the form of financial support, not like how he is demanding.

Beyond the bare, bare minimum, the spouse owes nothing here – if one of the kids from the former marriage is getting eaten by an alligator, yes the non-biological parent should dial animal control, the police, or whomever one calls for help in such a situation to get the kid to safety – but beyond basics like that, NO.

This example below is why, if you are a never married, childless adult you never, ever date or marry someone with children from a previous relationship, unless perhaps those kids are out of the house and self-sufficient, unless you really, really relish the idea of raising someone else’s brats.

So this entitled guy has three children from his first marriage to “Hannah” and two children via his second wife, (who he calls “Stacey“) for a total of five children for him.

And notice that being a five time parent has not made this guy more loving, ethical, responsible, mature, or godly.

About the ONLY part of his letter that makes me think that Stacey, the second wife, is being unfair, weird, or unreasonable, is where he says she demands that he pay her the same amount in child care for THEIR children together that she sends the ex-wife (“Hannah”) in child support. I just find that very odd.

If the dude is already paying half of house-hold expenses (she’s paying the other half), I don’t see the need for that.

A dude should not be paying a current-wife “child support” for kids they have – if he’s already paying or partially paying for food, lodging, etc. I’ve never before heard of a current spouse paying child support to another current spouse.

That is just bizarre and too controlling or petty on the part of “Stacey.” But to the rest of it, no, I’m not on the husband’s side here.

(Link): Dad rages as wife refuses to pay for his kids from another marriage

by Christine Younan

The anonymous man has been left raging as he claims his wife refuses to pay “her fair share” when it comes to his children from another marriage. He opened up on Reddit

Oct 23 2022

….Now one man is raging as his wife won’t pay “her fair share” when it comes to his kids from another marriage.

The woman does however pay her half of the joint household expenses, which involve things for the children.

Taking the Reddit, the dad-of-five explained his point-of-view as he still supports his three sprogs with his ex-wife.

He said he’s been married to his wife Stacey [the second wife], 30, for about five years now and they share two children together.

The man wrote: “I also share three children with my ex-wife Hannah, 37.

“Ever since Stacey and I got together she has made it very clear to me that my three children are mine and Hannah’s responsibility, not hers. This has worked out well so far, but lately it has been taking a toll on me.

“I pay Hannah child support every month, ever since Stacey had our first child she has demanded that I give her the same amount of money each month to keep things ‘fair’.

“In addition, I have to pay for half of our joint household expenses (ie mortgage, utilities, food) and my own car. Stacey pays for the majority of expenses for our children.”

But the problem for the man is that his wife Stacey has an issue with covering expenses for his kids.

Survey Reveals Singles Over 50s Can Still Be A Good Catch

Survey Reveals Singles Over 50s Can Still Be A Good Catch

(Link): Survey reveals singles over 50s can still be a good catch

by Chris Matthews
Oct 3, 2022

Single over 50s can still find love but it helps if they have paid off their mortgage, can cook a Sunday lunch, have not married more than twice and have their own teeth, according to a survey.

A list of partner must-haves for over 50s singletons has been revealed in research, with sense of humour topping the list, as a massive six in ten said it was the number one thing they look for in a significant other.

Being well read, not having been married more than twice , having your own hair and being up to speed on current affairs are all factors which make someone over 50 more alluring.

Overcoming a Narcissistic Husband and a Church that Enabled Him – Podcast

Overcoming a Narcissistic Husband and a Church that Enabled Him – Podcast

The following is a podcast. The identical episode is available on several different hosts, including iHeart media, Apple, and I forget where all else.

I listened to this podcast, then went back and re-listened to the first ten or so minutes of it, but the podcast did not go into detail in explaining how this woman’s church enabled this (not that I recall), but I’ve seen enough over the years to guess why and how.

Most Christians, and I include church preachers in this, are ignorant about Cluster B personality disorders (under which Narcissism falls), so they actually expect women to stay married to individuals who lack empathy and/or a conscience- this is not a realistic, safe, sane, or compassionate response or perspective, by the way – most Christians, especially preachers, are huge morons on these topics.

(Not that secular culture is great at understanding these topics, either.)

There is currently no ‘cure’ for Cluster B personality disorders, and they are quite therapy-resistant (especially Narcissism and Anti-Social), so it’s quite unrealistic for Christians to instruct someone married to a “Cluster B” person to tell them to just “submit more” to the spouse, or to just “pray and trust the Lord” and to tell them divorce is always prohibited, no matter the situation.

Goodness knows that gender complementarian Christians don’t help matters, in that under the false, un-biblical “complementarian” or “biblical womanhood” teachings they love to spout off, they essentially ask or guilt trip  Christian girls and women into adopting Codependent, people pleasing behaviors, to lack boundaries, and to endure abuse or mistreatment.

However, the Bible teaches personal responsibility for each person and does not teach that God wants or expects girls or women to remain in abusive relationships, but to leave them and to avoid them in the first place, if possible.

God gave girls and women discernment and wisdom and expects them to use it – to high tail it out of abusive situations, for one thing, not sit there and put up with it, all because Pastor John Doe has a faulty interpretation of the Bible.

It’s not up to any girl or woman to “change” a man, nor is it possible, certainly not in the case of Cluster B personality disorders. Women are not the Holy Spirit. It is not up to women to sanctify a man. It is that man’s responsibility to fix his own problems.

It’s possible I am misunderstanding things, but by “enabling,” I think the lady interviewed (who was married to a Narcissistic Sociopath named John) seemed to be saying that she was living with John as boyfriend-girlfriend, and he manipulated her into marrying him by continually nagging her with the observation that she was “living in sin,” which her church would not approve of.

They, her church, would expect her to make things right by getting married, and not living together as boyfriend and girlfriend, seemed to be the point.

Her ex, John, was using her religious upbringing to manipulate her into marriage.

She said in the podcast that John asked her many, many times to marry him, but she kept saying “No,” until he finally wore her down, and she caved in.

(I could write a separate blog post on that!
I’ve run into several people via this very blog and/or this blog’s associated Twitter account, who kept pestering me and hounding me repeatedly OVER MONTHS (some were very nice about it) to befriend them further over Facebook or e-mail, they kept saying they wanted to get to know me better, even though I politely turned them down many times.

I finally blocked one guy who kept doing this; he would not respect my boundaries and take “no” for an answer, when he kept asking if we could be friends over e-mail.
I’ve since come to learn that this non-stop pestering and hounding after you’ve said “no” to the person many times (and no matter how friendly and nice they are being about it) is one indication that the person more than likely has a personality disorder, and they are to be kept at arm’s length.)

(Link – to iHeart host, 1.15 hour long): Overcoming a Narcissistic Husband and a Church that Enabled Him

(Link – same podcast episode, but located on Spotify): Overcoming a Narcissistic Husband and a Church that Enabled Him

(Link – same episode but on PodPlay): Overcoming a Narcissistic Husband and a Church that Enabled Him

Sept 8, 2022

Today’s Guest overcame a tumultuous marriage with a narcissistic husband and the Church that supported his actions. Coming straight from a religious college and community, our Guest and her ex-husband met and were groomed by the Church to be together and get married.

After what she thought was the perfect pairing to the perfect man, and that they were going to change the world for the better, everything changed.