The Divorce Rate Is at a 40-Year Low, Unless You’re 55 or Older By Jo Craven McGinty

The Divorce Rate Is at a 40-Year Low, Unless You’re 55 or Older

(Link): The Divorce Rate Is at a 40-Year Low, Unless You’re 55 or Older

Excerpts:

Younger married couples are less likely to split up, but ‘gray’ divorces among older couples are on the rise

June 2019
By Jo Craven McGinty

….In 2017, around one million couples in the U.S. called it quits.

That may sound like a lot of busted unions, but the rate of divorce—just like the rate of marriage—is down.

Today, younger married couples are less likely to split up than they once were, driving the trend. But, at the same time, the rate of divorce for older generations has increased in a phenomenon known as “gray” divorce.

How Successful Are the Marriages of People With Divorced Parents? by Joe Pinsker

How Successful Are the Marriages of People With Divorced Parents? by Joe Pinsker

(Link): How Successful Are the Marriages of People With Divorced Parents?

Excerpts:

May 30, 2019

Marital instability can be inherited—but less often than it used to be.

….But divorce, as a thorough body of research has demonstrated, often perpetuates itself across generations—“children of divorce,” as they’re called, are more likely to get divorced themselves than are people from “intact families.”

A parental split, it turns out, can shape the next generation from childhood on.

Why You Shouldn’t Love Your Kids More Than Your Partner By B. Luscombe

Why You Shouldn’t Love Your Kids More Than Your Partner By B. Luscombe

(Link): Why You Shouldn’t Love Your Kids More Than Your Partner

…Before you call child services, let me be clear: Of course you have to love your kids. Of course you have to put their needs first. But doing so is also a no-brainer. Children, with their urgent and often tricky-to-ascertain needs, easily attract devotion.

Spouses don’t need to be fed and dressed or have their tears dried and are nowhere near as cute. Loving your kids is like going to school–you don’t really have a choice. Loving your spouse is like going to college–it’s up to you to show up and participate.

[So why invest more time and energy into the adult?]

…One reason, actually, is for the kids.

Research strongly suggests that children whose parents love each other are much happier and more secure than those raised in a loveless environment.

Problems With the Article ‘Tony Evans warns Satan attacking biblical manhood; society on ‘precipice’ of disaster’

Problems With the Article ‘Tony Evans warns Satan attacking biblical manhood; society on ‘precipice’ of disaster’

The article I will be addressing in this post:

(Link): Tony Evans warns Satan attacking biblical manhood; society on ‘precipice’ of disaster

Excerpt:

Evans told CP that until manhood is properly defined, culture cannot be saved.
—///—

I am a (Link): former gender complementarian, so I understand the outlook of a Tony Evans and guys like him, and many of the assumptions that are made about culture and gender roles, but these are views that I no longer share.

Gender Role malarky aside, one of my biggest problems with the views of Tony Evans brought forth in this article is that he is of the mindset -like many Christians are- that culture can or should be saved.

He further thinks that teaching Christian gender roles is the way to go about it.

As I’ve stated many times previously in other posts, the Bible says that Jesus Christ alone saves, and he saves on the individual level.

He doesn’t save groups or cultures.

What Divorce Lawyers Really Think About The Concept Of Soulmates by K. Borresen

(Link): What Divorce Lawyers Really Think About The Concept Of Soulmates By Kelsey Borresen

Excerpts

They’re not all as pessimistic about love as you might assume.

We asked divorce attorneys if they believe in the concept of soulmates, how they define the term, and how their personal and professional lives have influenced those beliefs. Here’s what they told us:

People can have multiple soulmates throughout their lives.

“I do not think soulmates are preordained or that there’s only one soulmate per person. But I do think there are people that are absolutely perfect for each other. I just don’t think everyone finds that person or any of the few that may be their perfect soulmate.

Will You Survive Red Tuesday? More Couples Split in the Week of Valentine’s Day Than Any Other – And the Top Day to Get Dumped Is Tomorrow by H. Richardson

Will You Survive Red Tuesday? More Couples Split in the Week of Valentine’s Day Than Any Other – And the Top Day to Get Dumped Is Tomorrow by H. Richardson

(Link): Will You Survive Red Tuesday? More Couples Split in the Week of Valentine’s Day Than Any Other – And the Top Day to Get Dumped Is Tomorrow

According to a recent survey, the most popular way to end a relationship is by text, followed by a phone call and a chat face-to-face

MANY couples will be looking forward to celebrating the most romantic night of the year later this week.

That’s if they manage to get through tomorrow, which has been dubbed Red Tuesday due to it being the top day of the year to get dumped.

Texas Zoo Will Name Roach After Your Ex, Feed It To Live Animal by A. Klausner

 

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Texas Zoo Will Name Roach After Your Ex, Feed It To Live Animal By A. Klausner

The Bronx zoo has a deal where you can pay them some money and they will name one of their hissing roaches after whomever you want. They do not kill the roach; the roach remains in their exhibit, is my understanding.

As to this stunt, based out of Texas: I am not comfortable with them feeding a live roach to another animal. That seems cruel. I hope they reconsider.

(Link): Texas Zoo Will Name Roach After Your Ex, Feed It To Live Animal

Feb. 2019

Give your ex a dozen roaches this Valentines Day!

“Dear Therapist: I’m Dating a Divorced Man With Kids, and It’s Harder Than I Thought – His Ex Wife Calls Constantly” (She Needs To Dump This Guy)

“Dear Therapist: I’m Dating a Divorced Man With Kids, and It’s Harder Than I Thought – His Ex Wife Calls Constantly” (She Needs To Dump This Guy)

This is one example of why I don’t want to date a divorced man (if I can avoid it), especially one who has kids from a previous relationship.

(Link): Dear Therapist: I’m Dating a Divorced Man With Kids, and It’s Harder Than I Thought

Excerpts:

His ex-wife is constantly texting and calling him about problems with their kids, and I can’t help but feel annoyed.

LORI GOTTLIEB
JAN 28, 2019

Dear Therapist,

I’ve been dating Adam for two and a half years. I’m 33 and childless, and he’s 48, divorced, and the father of three kids. We seem to keep having the same fights about his needy ex-wife and the negative impact she has on our relationship.

Despite my wish to appear mature and chill, I have a strong distaste for the ex-wife. She doesn’t work, and she collects disability from the government and spousal support and child support from Adam.

Church Is a Family, Not an Event by K. Kandiah

Church Is a Family, Not an Event by K. Kandiah

This editorial by Kandiah makes many of the same points I have been making on this blog the last several years.

Church is not just about spreading the Gospel (as so many Christians incorrectly assume), but God designed the church to also serve as a community, another family, where widowed, single, and divorced adults could get their needs for companionship met.

But most churches today do not want to engage in that role; all the church-goers want to go home to their homes in the suburbs with their biological families and just hang out with their families.

Many church-going Christians don’t care to invite over the divorcee’ or the widower or the never married woman and include any of those people in their lives.

(Link): Church Is a Family, Not an Event by K. Kandiah

Excerpts:

The Bible refers to fellow Christians as “brothers and sisters,” but how often do we treat them as family?

…More Than an Event
I have met many pastors and church members who can tell similar stories. As I visit many churches that are embracing people in desperate need of family, my eyes are continually being opened not only to what family truly can be but to what church as family truly can be.

This shift in perception of what church is, and what church is for, has huge implications, not just for our own personal spiritual development but for our understanding of mission, evangelism, worship, justice, hospitality, and discipleship.

Nine Questions To Ask On A First Date, According To Divorce Lawyers by B. Wong

Nine Questions To Ask On A First Date, According To Divorce Lawyers by B. Wong

(Link): Nine Questions To Ask On A First Date, According To Divorce Lawyers by B. Wong

Excerpts:

Avoid a bad end by asking the right questions at the start.

Few people have a keener eye for relationship red flags thandivorce attorneys. They’ve seen firsthand how quickly personality quirks can turn into major annoyances and the problems that can lead to calling it quits.

That also makes them surprisingly good at giving dating advice.

Below, family law attorneys from across the country share nine pointed questions to ask on a first date if you want to avoid getting into a relationship with someone you’ll eventually divorce.

Yes, You Need to Prioritize Your Marriage Over Your Kids by V. Pelley

Yes, You Need to Prioritize Your Marriage Over Your Kids by V. Pelley

I’ve done one or two posts on this subject previously on this blog.

One reason I don’t want to date or marry men who have children from previous relationships is that they may put their kids before me.

Notice in the interview below how married couples are (Link): greedy, they’re self-involved: they even admit that the “lion’s share” of their time is devoted to their careers, next, their kids, and lastly, their romantic lives with their spouses.

This information flies in the face of warped, false, Christian teachings that married couples are more godly and giving than single adults.

Christians often wrongly and incorrectly portray single adults as being totally self-absorbed, sexually promiscuous people who are in a state of arrested development.

(Link): Yes, You Need to Prioritize Your Marriage Over Your Kids by V. Pelley

More than a few men joke that they fall third or fourth in their wives’ pecking order, after the kids and the dog.

But for a lot guys (and moms), it’s not really a joke. Many assume that’s the way it should be — after all, being a good parent means putting the kids’ needs first, no matter what.

And because in this day and age parents are expected to be more attentive and accommodating to children than ever before, that’s a pretty all-consuming job.

But many psychologists and relationship experts push back on that idea, arguing that your spouse should come before your children.

The theory is that without a strong marriage and loving home, kids won’t thrive, so you’re doing them a disservice by putting your spouse on the back burner, which can lead to marital trouble and even divorce.

The Green River Serial Killer and Necrophiliac Was A Christian Married Father

The Green River Serial Killer and Necrophiliac Was A Christian Married Father

There was a television special on a few days ago about Gary Ridgway, who is the Green River serial killer.

Several aspects of this pervert’s life are relevant to subjects I discuss regularly on this blog, so keep on reading…

Ridgway had upwards of around 70 women victims, most in age of about 15 to their early 20s, though a few may have been around 12 or 13 years old.

Most of Ridgway’s victims were prostitutes, some were runaway kids.

Ridgway later admitted to authorities to occasionally going back and having sex with the dead bodies of his murder victims.

Here is how this pervert’s story is relevant to this blog:

Point 1. Marriage and Parenthood Do Not Make People Into Godly, Mature, Responsible Adults

I grew up in Southern Baptist churches. Both my parents were Southern Baptists.

Like many other conservative Christian groups, Southern Baptists peddle some untrue and un-biblical notions about marriage, natalism, and the family unit: they tend to assume and they will also sometimes teach, that marriage or parenthood are necessary to make a person fully adult, mature, godly, responsible, and ethical.

Pat Robertson’s Insensitive Reply to a Domestic Violence Victim (November 2018)

Pat Robertson’s Insensitive Reply to a Domestic Violence Victim (November 2018)

Before I present the viewer question from the domestic violence victim, and Pat Roberston’s horrible response to that person, I wanted to say a few words first.

I’ve already done a post on this blog called (Link): “Women, Stop Asking Pat Robertson Relationship Advice,” but women (and sometimes men) keep e-mailing Pat Robertson for relationship advice.

Here is the gist of that previous post:
If you write Robertson for relationship advice – especially if you are a woman – 9 out of 10 times, Robertson’s reply will be sexist, unsympathetic, and victim-blaming. So do not waste your time.

Secondly, you’re an adult.
You don’t need Pat or the Bible or any other person to tell you what you need to do or what you should do. You can make up your own mind as to what you think is best for you.

Abusers do not change, no matter how much you submit and pray for the abuser.

It is a waste of your time and “tossing pearls before swine” to stay with an abuser. If you consider divorce a sin (I don’t, certainly not in the case of abuse – and abuse can be verbal, emotional, and financial, not just physical), God says in the Bible he forgives sin.

What most all the competent articles and books about domestic violence say is this:
You will need to leave the abuser – contact your local domestic violence shelter for assistance in that.

Meet the Men In Love With $7,000 Sex Dolls

Meet the Men In Love With $7,000 Sex Dolls

This is not only creepy, but it’s sad and pathetic.

(Link): Meet the Men In Love With $7,000 Sex Dolls

The men in love with $7,000 sex dolls: Subculture of ‘iDollators’ who marry and develop romances with inanimate partners after swearing off ‘flesh and blood’ women

November 2018
by Shelia Flynn

…John and Jackie are the stars of new documentary Silicone Soul, which chronicles the lives of men who’ve fallen in love with dolls – as well as other doll enthusiasts who have interests and motivations separate from sex or romance, such as a female artist who uses dolls for photography and friendship.

In addition to John – who purchased Jackie for $7,000 – the film follows a man named ‘Davecat’ in Detroit who’s married to doll Sidore and owns another, Elena, with whom he’s involved (they’re polyamorous, he says).

There’s also a New Jersey husband going by the pseudonym of ‘Ben’ who keeps several dolls in the basement as surrogates for his severely ill wife.

And they’re far from the only people choosing such a lifestyle, according to director Melody Gilbert, who was wholly unacquainted with the phenomenon before embarking upon this project – though it immediately fascinated her.

Divorced 50-Something Lady Named Andy Says Her Ex Husband Gave Her an STD

Divorced 50-Something Lady Named Andy Says Her Ex Husband Gave Her an STD

On the November 6, 2018 episode of “The 700 Club” the Christian show host received a letter from a 54 year old woman named “Andy.”

I do not as of yet see this letter uploaded on (Link): the 700 Club You Tube account,  (it would probably be uploaded under the “Your Questions, Honest Answers” section – edit: the just uploaded the ENTIRE day’s episode, the letter comes towards the end of the show/video), and I saw this letter only one time, so I am having to go on memory here.

(Whoever runs the 700 Club You Tube account has dropped the ball over the past year: they used to promptly upload each and every episode and the “Answers to Questions” segments every day within an hour after airing on TV, but they’ve not been doing that lately I have noticed. Anyway.)

From what I can recall, this Andy lady (who is apparently a Christian) said she was married to her husband for about twenty years.

Andy said at one stage of their marriage that her husband had an affair with another woman, which resulted in the husband contracting a very bad STD (sexually transmitted disease), and he passed it on to her.

This played a role in why she divorced her husband. She remains single now.

Why Millennials Are ‘Consciously’ Choosing To Remain Single

Why Millennials Are ‘Consciously’ Choosing To Remain Single

Before I get to the link to the news article about more young people choosing to stay single:

I’d just like to remind anyone out there that not all singles are single by choice. Some singles, like me, had expected and hoped to marry, but we’re still single due to circumstances.

I have to mention this because many conservatives and conservative Christians love to go into shaming mode and criticize adult singles for never marrying.

They especially like to insult, shame, and guilt trip Christian singles; they assume quite incorrectly that all adult singles intentionally chose to avoid marriage.

Many Southern Baptists, for example, like to incorrectly assume that all single females over age 30 chose career over marriage and shame us for being single. In fact, many of us had wanted to be married and did not place career over marriage.

I don’t have an issue with singles who do choose to remain single, however.

They should not be shamed for their choice.

I’m just saying I get sick and tired of Christians, such as Southern Baptist Al Mohler and Christians such as Bradford Wilcox and socialist Mark Regnerus seeing news items like the following, and wrongly assuming that ALL singles remain single by choice.

Al Mohler, other Christians, and secular, conservative think tanks shame and scold singles for not marrying, because they have this incorrect understanding of the Bible that the Bible says God prefers or wants all adults to marry, or, they wrongly believe that the Bible says that marriage “fixes” culture (the Bible does not teach anything like this, but actually says, per 1 Cor 7, that it is better to remain single).

Singles-shaming conservatives also love to write and publish and repeat bogus  studies that claim things like being single is far worse than being married, singles die younger than married people, married people supposedly have better health than singles (they do not), and so on – Bella dePaulo debunks (Link): a lot of those claims on her blog.

(Link): Why Millennials Are ‘Consciously’ Choosing To Remain Single

October 10, 2018

By Christian Gollayan

Millennials are ditching relationships and embracing singledom, according to a new survey.

Tinder and consulting firm Morar HPI surveyed 1,000 singles between 18 to 25 years old and found that 72 percent “have made a conscious decision” to stay single.

“Solo status gives young adults a sense of adventure, independence and empowerment,” the dating app said. “An overwhelming majority of young adults agree that being single benefits them beyond their romantic lives.”

‘It Was Like Marriage, Only Better’ Said the Single Mothers Who Moved In Together

‘It Was Like Marriage, Only Better’ Said the Single Mothers Who Moved In Together

(Link): ‘It Was Like Marriage, Only Better” Said the Single Mothers Who Moved In Together

Excerpts:

After their relationships broke down, Jane Hoggarth and two other mothers decided to get together and create a ‘mommune’

…And so, more by accident than design, the women hit on a new domestic set-up: the “mommune”, as it is termed in America.

And for the next two years, the three of them and their six children shared their lives: Vicky in the spare room, Nicola a weekend resident and daily visitor. “We were a family,” Janet says. “We went to the supermarket together, cooked together, ate together, shared childcare. Our parents met.” The children, she adds, “became like siblings”.

The Not-So-Great Reason Divorce Rates Are Declining by Joe Pinsker

(Link): The Not-So-Great Reason Divorce Rates Are Declining by Joe Pinsker

Excerpts:

What’s changed isn’t marriage, but the types of people who are likeliest to get married.

Sept 25, 2018

….The point he was making was that people with college degrees are now more likely to get married than those who have no more than a high-school education.

And the key to understanding the declining divorce rate, Cherlin says, is that it is “going down some for everybody,” but “the decline has been steepest for the college graduates.”

How One Man Has Broken Up 4,000 Relationships and Caused 17 Divorces In Just 10 Days

How One Man Has Broken Up 4,000 Relationships and Caused 17 Divorces In Just 10 Days

(Link): How one man has broken up 4,000 relationships and caused 17 divorces – in just 10 days

And the number is still rising…

by Nicola Oakley

Sitting down to watch Netflix on a Saturday night is something many people do with their other half.

If so, you might want to steer clear of Daniel Sloss’ show – as it might lead to bit of an awkward moment or, worse still, the demise of your relationship.

The Scottish comedian says a 20-minute joke in one of his shows has been responsible for more than 4,000 break-ups.

His live stand-up routines have been streaming on Netflix since September 11 – yes, it only became available to view 10 days ago.

In his show Jigsaw, the 28-year-old, from Fife, rubbishes the notion that everyone has a soulmate, saying the message society puts out is: “If you are not with someone, you are broken. If you are not with someone, you are incomplete. If you are not with someone, you are not whole.”

As a result, we are made to feel as though we need a partner to feel complete – meaning many settle and end up with the wrong person.

Married To Person With Kid From Previous Marriage: Guy Says His Wife is Putting Her Son Before Their Marriage – on Not Wanting to Date Single Parents

Married To Person With Kid From Previous Marriage: Guy Says His Wife is Putting Her Son Before Their Marriage – On Not Wanting to Date Single Parents

This following letter to an advice columnist (which is linked to and excerpted much farther down this blog post) is interesting, because I guarantee you had the guy written to “Ask Amy” of the “Ask Amy” column with the same concern, Amy would  not have been sympathetic to the guy.

Amy would’ve raked him over the coals for not oozing with love and compassion for the misbehaving stepchild.

Amy, as I’ve seen, always sides with the kids or the biological parent.

If you are a person married to someone who has a bratty kid who is driving you crazy (and even to the point of wanting to divorce!), Amy will shame you terribly over it.

Amy will scream and yell about you being selfish, and she will ask you to empathize with the misbehaving, rotten kid.

(That I can recall in all my years of reading her advice column, Amy has never shown empathy to the adult who is stressed and whose marriage is strained over a hard- to- handle step-child.)

This advice columnist,  though, takes the opposite approach and blames the biological mother; he holds her accountable for the poor marital dynamics.