Survey Reveals Singles Over 50s Can Still Be A Good Catch

Survey Reveals Singles Over 50s Can Still Be A Good Catch

(Link): Survey reveals singles over 50s can still be a good catch

by Chris Matthews
Oct 3, 2022

Single over 50s can still find love but it helps if they have paid off their mortgage, can cook a Sunday lunch, have not married more than twice and have their own teeth, according to a survey.

A list of partner must-haves for over 50s singletons has been revealed in research, with sense of humour topping the list, as a massive six in ten said it was the number one thing they look for in a significant other.

Being well read, not having been married more than twice , having your own hair and being up to speed on current affairs are all factors which make someone over 50 more alluring.

Overcoming a Narcissistic Husband and a Church that Enabled Him – Podcast

Overcoming a Narcissistic Husband and a Church that Enabled Him – Podcast

The following is a podcast. The identical episode is available on several different hosts, including iHeart media, Apple, and I forget where all else.

I listened to this podcast, then went back and re-listened to the first ten or so minutes of it, but the podcast did not go into detail in explaining how this woman’s church enabled this (not that I recall), but I’ve seen enough over the years to guess why and how.

Most Christians, and I include church preachers in this, are ignorant about Cluster B personality disorders (under which Narcissism falls), so they actually expect women to stay married to individuals who lack empathy and/or a conscience- this is not a realistic, safe, sane, or compassionate response or perspective, by the way – most Christians, especially preachers, are huge morons on these topics.

(Not that secular culture is great at understanding these topics, either.)

There is currently no ‘cure’ for Cluster B personality disorders, and they are quite therapy-resistant (especially Narcissism and Anti-Social), so it’s quite unrealistic for Christians to instruct someone married to a “Cluster B” person to tell them to just “submit more” to the spouse, or to just “pray and trust the Lord” and to tell them divorce is always prohibited, no matter the situation.

Goodness knows that gender complementarian Christians don’t help matters, in that under the false, un-biblical “complementarian” or “biblical womanhood” teachings they love to spout off, they essentially ask or guilt trip  Christian girls and women into adopting Codependent, people pleasing behaviors, to lack boundaries, and to endure abuse or mistreatment.

However, the Bible teaches personal responsibility for each person and does not teach that God wants or expects girls or women to remain in abusive relationships, but to leave them and to avoid them in the first place, if possible.

God gave girls and women discernment and wisdom and expects them to use it – to high tail it out of abusive situations, for one thing, not sit there and put up with it, all because Pastor John Doe has a faulty interpretation of the Bible.

It’s not up to any girl or woman to “change” a man, nor is it possible, certainly not in the case of Cluster B personality disorders. Women are not the Holy Spirit. It is not up to women to sanctify a man. It is that man’s responsibility to fix his own problems.

It’s possible I am misunderstanding things, but by “enabling,” I think the lady interviewed (who was married to a Narcissistic Sociopath named John) seemed to be saying that she was living with John as boyfriend-girlfriend, and he manipulated her into marrying him by continually nagging her with the observation that she was “living in sin,” which her church would not approve of.

They, her church, would expect her to make things right by getting married, and not living together as boyfriend and girlfriend, seemed to be the point.

Her ex, John, was using her religious upbringing to manipulate her into marriage.

She said in the podcast that John asked her many, many times to marry him, but she kept saying “No,” until he finally wore her down, and she caved in.

(I could write a separate blog post on that!
I’ve run into several people via this very blog and/or this blog’s associated Twitter account, who kept pestering me and hounding me repeatedly OVER MONTHS (some were very nice about it) to befriend them further over Facebook or e-mail, they kept saying they wanted to get to know me better, even though I politely turned them down many times.

I finally blocked one guy who kept doing this; he would not respect my boundaries and take “no” for an answer, when he kept asking if we could be friends over e-mail.
I’ve since come to learn that this non-stop pestering and hounding after you’ve said “no” to the person many times (and no matter how friendly and nice they are being about it) is one indication that the person more than likely has a personality disorder, and they are to be kept at arm’s length.)

(Link – to iHeart host, 1.15 hour long): Overcoming a Narcissistic Husband and a Church that Enabled Him

(Link – same podcast episode, but located on Spotify): Overcoming a Narcissistic Husband and a Church that Enabled Him

(Link – same episode but on PodPlay): Overcoming a Narcissistic Husband and a Church that Enabled Him

Sept 8, 2022

Today’s Guest overcame a tumultuous marriage with a narcissistic husband and the Church that supported his actions. Coming straight from a religious college and community, our Guest and her ex-husband met and were groomed by the Church to be together and get married.

After what she thought was the perfect pairing to the perfect man, and that they were going to change the world for the better, everything changed.

Man Is Caught Urinating on Grave of Ex-Wife He Divorced 48 Years Ago by Woman’s Stunned Children

Man Is Caught Urinating on Grave of Ex-Wife He Divorced 48 Years Ago by Woman’s Stunned Children

Marriage (parenthood too) does not make people more godly, mature, ethical, or loving. Yet another example on my blog.

This article says that this man urinates on his ex-wife’s grave as his current wife sits in the car and waits – I’m not sure what the deal is with his ex-wife, but him urinating on her grave makes him look like trash – I’m not sure how a piece of trash manages to get married at least twice while decent people who’d like marriage remain single.

This also goes to show, contra to the usual Christian advice on dating and how to get married, that God is not waiting for a person to reach a level of perfection or godliness before he “sends” a person a spouse, because trashy idiots like this manage to get married all the time.

(Link):  Man with 48-year grudge caught peeing on ex-wife’s grave every day by her kids 

by Dana Kennedy
September 24, 2022

A man with an apparent 48-year grudge has been going each morning to urinate on the grave of his ex, much to the horror of her furious kids, who realized something was wrong when they discovered bags of poop left at their mom’s final resting place.

“I felt like getting out and killing him,” said Michael Andrew Murphy, 43, told The Post of what it was like to catch the man he says has been desecrating the burial site of his mom, Linda Torello.

…Torello, 66, died of cancer in 2017 and is buried just over the state line in the cemetery at Tappan Reformed Church in Orangetown, NY.

Murphy and his sister first noticed a plastic bag of poop at their mother’s grave in April and thought it was something left by mistake by a dog walker.

But then it happened again.

(Link):  Man is caught urinating on grave of ex-wife he divorced 48 years ago by woman’s stunned children

by James Gorden
Sept 24, 2022

A man has been caught urinating on the grave of his ex-wife whom he divorced 48 years ago.

In shocking footage, captured by a hidden camera set up by family members, the man can be seen pulling up in his SUV only to get out while leaving the engine running to walk over to a gravesite.

The man can then be seen unzipping his pants in order to relieve himself, completely unaware that his every move is being caught on film.

They Put Their Faith in a God-Fearing Man Selling Them Tiny Homes. Now They’re Suing Him For Fraud – Christians: Please Learn the Red Flags, Research Cluster B Personality Disorders

They Put Their Faith in a God-Fearing Man Selling Them Tiny Homes. Now They’re Suing Him For Fraud – Christians: Please Learn the Red Flags, Research Cluster B Personality Disorders

Before I get to the links way below about a self-professing, devout Christian man who was allegedly swindling customers out of their very expensive purchases:

For any of you super trusting people out there – especially if you consider yourself kind, decent, empathetic and/or a Christian (though what I say below is also applicable to kind-hearted Non-Christians as well):

Please, please educate yourselves and accept reality.

There ARE people out there with what are called “Cluster B” personality disorders (such as NPD, malignant narcissism, or, they’re on the narcissism spectrum, or they are sociopathic or psychopathic) who cannot, or will not, have empathy (and on top of an empathy-deficit, sociopaths lack a conscience, too).

Not all of these Cluster B personality disordered persons are serial killers, as is often assumed(*) – but they all lack remorse and empathy and will use and abuse those in their paths, even their own spouses and family members! (*Some Cluster B personality disordered persons love to financially scam other people or financially exploit them, for instance.)

The primary drivers and motivations of Cluster B persons are control and dominance of other people.

These people can be your neighbor, sibling, parent, spouse, a friend, your boss, or a co-worker.

These dangerous persons can work as church pastors, doctors, school teachers, veterinarians, psychologists, therapists, plumbers, IT professionals, UPS delivery persons, mailmen, hair stylists – any and every occupation, even “care based,” charity based, or church ministry related ones!

These people have learned to “pass” as normal. They will pretend to be normal. Many will act as though they have compassion and empathy for others, but they do not.

Just because someone is working in a care-based occupation doesn’t mean they have empathy and are warm, nurturing, and have your best interest at heart.

Some narcissistic or sociopathic persons who work as therapists or as social workers INTENTIONALLY undermine their patients or others in their care. That’s one reason you must be careful when shopping around for a mental health professional, should you want to see one for treatment.

Some of these personality disordered persons will do things like say they are a “Jesus-follower,” a Christian, they will even volunteer for charity work, attend church regularly, and “play act the part” of loving, devoted Christ follower while simultaneously committing financial fraud (or other sins and crimes) against you or others.

And they do NOT CARE AT ALL how much it hurts your feelings or hurts you financially.

They are not sorry, and they never will be. They do not experience remorse or sorrow for how they hurt others.

Even the non-personality disordered abusive persons out there have very large entitlement attitudes, so their view on relationships is that being mean, lying, nasty, and controlling of or to you is getting THEIR needs met for them, their abusive behavior of you is working well for them, so why bother to care about you and your needs and how YOU are being hurt by them in the process?

They feel they have no reason to change for the better (this is from their perspective).

There is nothing you can do to fix, change, save, or help such persons (even most therapists agree such persons are beyond help or fixing), nor is it your responsibility to fix or change them.

Avoid them as much as possible. No amount of compassion, love, attention, pity, or empathy from you or someone else will change or fix such persons.

No amount of church attendance, Bible reading, or exposure to the Gospel or the teachings of Jesus will heal, change, or fix them.

This includes the marriage context: a wife being “more submissive” or “loving” towards a narcissistic or sociopathic husband will not “heal,” change, or fix the husband and cause him to stop hurting his wife.

Please do some research, and stop allowing people to take advantage of you! Look for the red flags.

Perhaps start out by reading books such as “The Sociopath Next Door” by Stout

(though, caution: in an otherwise very good and educational work, I think she sugar coats her descriptions of narcissism in her book too much – narcissists, especially at the moderate to high end of the spectrum, are essentially watered-down sociopaths, so far as I am concerned,
but, in her book, Stout makes narcissists sound more lovable, redeemable, reachable, and friendly than they actually are,
which contrasts what I’ve read in a lot of research by other mental health professionals and accounts by narcissistic abuse survivors who all specialize in the topic of narcissism),

or “Husband, Liar, Sociopath – How He Lied, Why I Fell for It & the Painful Lessons Learned” by O. N. Ward,
or “Becoming the Narcissist’s Nightmare: How to Devalue and Discard the Narcissist While Supplying Yourself” by Shahida Arabi.

There are many other books – and free online articles and videos – that describe all these issues.

Just because someone claims to be a Christian and acts really sweet, caring, and nice does NOT mean they will NOT abuse you financially, or will not abuse you physically, verbally, or sexually in private.

Because such people do exist, and they will abuse or exploit you.

Stop thinking the best of people, stop being so trusting, stop assuming that because someone talks favorably of Jesus that this must mean they are trust-worthy, and stop giving people third, fourth, and more chances if they’ve already hurt or lied to you twice!

Stop rationalizing their behavior, stop excusing it on the basis they told you they are having a bad day, they’re under stress, or they were abused as a child (whether they were or not still does not excuse their abusive or dishonest behavior).

Such attitudes and behaviors on your part, where you keep forgiving, pitying, trusting, and grant repeated chances and do-overs, is what enables alleged frauds like the guy in the article below to scam you in the first place.

I am not victim blaming anyone who has been abused or targeted by any of these abusers or scammers.

Here is where I am coming from:
I just want to pull my hair out in frustration in particular at how Christians, in their sermons, books, social media, blogs, and their attitudes, frequently encourage or pressure behaviors or attitudes in believers that encourage them to be very susceptible to attracting abusive people or con artists, or from eliminating them from their lives once they encounter them.

Christians are setting other Christians up to be attractive and easy targets and prey for sociopaths, narcissists, and other troubled and dangerous people.

Misguided Christian teachings about grace, forgiveness, compassion, helping one’s neighbor, turning the cheek, the “no divorce for any reason” teachings, and giving second chances, and Christian complementarians especially are really bad about this.

Christian gender complementarians promote “gender complementarianism,” where they strongly condition girls and women to adopt beliefs and actions that are indistinguishable from Codependency (ie, which includes things like lacking boundaries, being passive, etc), which makes girls and women reluctant to engage in perfectly healthy and normal actions, such as standing up to abusers or bullying behavior, and leaves them vulnerable from recognizing abusive behavior as being abusive in the first place.

Secular culture of course also re-enforces such harmful beliefs and behaviors in girls and women as well, via traditional gender stereotypes (see the book The Gift of Fear by Gavin de Becker for some examples; research by others has also been done in this area going back years with the same results being shown).

(Link): They Put Their Faith in a God-Fearing Man Selling Them Tiny Homes. Now They’re Suing Him For Fraud

People around the country who have paid Matt Sowash thousands of dollars for the small dwellings after seeing him on TikTok say he never delivered on his promises.

by Sept 20, 2022

By Deon J. Hampton

DENVER — A man who had been convicted of bilking investors out of thousands of dollars and who professed his love for God while selling tiny homes online swindled homebuyers out of their life savings for dwellings that were never delivered, three alleged victims said in lawsuits filed in federal and state courts.

Developer Matt Sowash, founder of the Colorado-based nonprofit Holy Ground Tiny Homes, promoted the small residences on social media, including to his 80,000 TikTok followers, with short videos portraying an upbeat, God-fearing man selling the American Dream — affordable homes with financing and no credit checks.

“For people that can’t pay for a house all at once, we can finance you. Holy Ground Tiny Homes. Get yours today,” Sowash said in one TikTok video.

“Great house, available now, around $45,000 is what this goes for. Come in and take it away,” he said in another video, wearing a T-shirt adorned with “Faith Over Fear.”

Sowash said in an interview that he never set out to take advantage of homebuyers, but he’s not sure he’ll be able to build the 250 homes already paid for, in full or in part.

…A plaintiff in one of three lawsuits filed against Sowash said in an interview that the builder’s persuasiveness and Jesus-loving persona convinced her to part with her hard-earned cash.

“That’s part of what sold me. He’s charming, convincing and I believe in God,” said Clara Virginia Davis, 24, an elementary schoolteacher in upstate New York.

30 People Who Got Married To The Popular Kids In School Reveal What They Are Like Now

30 People Who Got Married To The Popular Kids In School Reveal What They Are Like Now

(Link): 30 People Who Got Married To The Popular Kids In School Reveal What They Are Like Now

Excerpts:

Example 4.

I hate to be the one that bursts everyone’s bubble, but my husband was the good-looking athletic guy with a great sense of humor that all of the girls adored. I was the petite blue-eyed blonde cheerleader that he chased for all four years in high school.

We ended up getting together after high school graduation and were engaged 6 months later.

I should have kept running from him like I did in school.

He’s now an addict who is verbally and emotionally abusive.

He’s a compulsive liar and he’s stolen prescription medication from me to get high.

Las Vegas Man Stabs Wife 30 Times After She Asks For Divorce, Reports Say

Las Vegas Man Stabs Wife 30 Times After She Asks For Divorce, Reports Say

Look, as I’ve said before, I am not “anti-marriage,” but I do think that a lot of other conservatives (religious ones particularly) hype marriage to an extreme and un-biblical degree.

I recently got into it with a few such marriage-idolaters, which I may blog about later.

But I’m having a difficult time buying into the “marriage is better for culture, improves culture, and makes a person more godly, ethical, mature and responsible and makes a culture cohesive” when I’ve seen many such news stories over my life of married people who beat or murder their spouses.

Marriage is clearly not the magical elixir or stabilizer of culture that conservatives think it is, which does not mean I am on team “anti marriage progressives,” because I am not.

In this case below (as in many others I’ve detailed on this blog in years past), marriage did not improve this man, nor help his wife, and it didn’t help society, either – police and tax payer resources were used up in getting this guy’s abusive ass hauled away to jail and court dates with judges.

It looks like some married people, of their own choice and volition, are “dissolving” the so-called bonds or supposed benefits of marriage by their own accord, with no help at all from “the left” (as opposed to what Auron MacIntyre – @AuronMacintyre – regularly suggests on his twitter account, such as) – the Bible doesn’t say that society is impossible, or will dissolve, without marriage.

If you think everyone getting married in a nation will or can save that nation, or is necessary to “save” a nation you’re gravely mistaken, and it’s a concept that is not taught in the Bible, no matter how much you assume it is, or need and want for it to be in the Bible – it’s not in there.

(Link): Las Vegas man stabs wife 30 times after she asks for divorce, reports say

Excerpts:

August 3, 2022
By Stephanie Pagones | Fox News

A Las Vegas man appeared in court on Tuesday in connection with allegations he stabbed his wife an estimated 30 times when she asked him for a divorce, police have said.

Las Vegas Metropolitan Police Department officials said 60-year-old Clifford Jacobs was booked into jail Friday on suspicion of attempted murder and domestic battery resulting in substantial bodily harm.

Information regarding his defense attorney information was not immediately available.

According to police, Jacobs said he and his wife of 15 years began arguing Wednesday afternoon in an apartment before he blacked out.

Her Husband Wanted Her To Go Dress Shopping With Him, For Dresses For Him – Trans Widow Story

Her Husband Wanted Her To Go Dress Shopping With Him, For Dresses For Him – Trans Widow Story

I can’t imagine this. You’re single, you’d like to get married, you finally get married, only to discover days, weeks, or months into the marriage that the man you married is either abusive, selfish, a pedophile, or… he says he wants to be trans and wear women’s dresses.

If what she discusses below is marriage, I’d rather stay single.

(Link): Linda’s Story: Look Back In Anger

Excerpts:

13th Rule of Misogyny: Angry women are crazy. Angry men have trouble expressing themselves 
Ours was a long marriage. My husband was an affable, good-natured person, perceived by most people, me included, to be “easy going”. Young and naive (though I thought I was experienced and mature), I would adjust myself as required to ensure that our life together was positive, fulfilling and shared.

I did not take on board how one-sided this process was. The more this pattern repeated itself, the more emotionally depleted I became, and the harder it was for me to bounce back.

For many years, I was grateful for my ex’s patience with me, his reassurances that he was fine, I just needed to pull myself together and all would be well. What I took to be his generosity was actually this message: I needed to be and act within a certain range within his presence.

Anything outside of his window of tolerance he would simply reject, and wait for me to re-present myself in a state that he could handle. It took a long time to realise that this was the perspective of a man with autism who lacked insight into other people’s needs.

Children were added to this dynamic, I entered a phase of distress unlike anything I had ever experienced, and I withdrew from him physically, completely. Something in me knew that sex had been all about him, and my own need for connection and intimacy had vanished from the equation. …

I’m Addicted to Marriage After 11 (Eleven) Tries and the Failure is Painful by Adriana Diaz

I’m Addicted to Marriage After 11  (Eleven) Tries and the Failure is Painful by  Adriana Diaz

I couldn’t make it to the altar once, this woman’s been there 11 times. I do wonder about people that marry more than twice.

If you’re failing at marriage that often, I figure you’re either a narcissist, or you keep choosing narcissists – at any rate, something wrong is going on and you should probably consider just staying single.

I guess if you have terrible standards or no standards at all, marriage is easy to come by.

(Link): I’m addicted to marriage after 11 tries and the failure is painful 

June 17, 2022
By Adriana Diaz

Love is indeed a battlefield.

A woman is now searching for her 12th husband but she still hasn’t given up on love.

Monette Dias, 52, an interior designer based in Utah, is one of the stars of TLC’s “Addicted to Marriage” which followed her relationship with her boyfriend, John.

Most the show appeared to show that Dias might have finally gotten it right, but a serious fight changed the course of the couple’s relationship.

Conservatives Are So Gay by Michael Warren Davis – Many Conservatives Will Cave In to Today’s Progressive Causes in Another Five to Ten Years

Conservatives Are So Gay by Michael Warren Davis – Many Conservatives Will Cave In to Today’s Progressive Causes in Another Five to Ten Years

Below this link with excerpts, I will offer a few comments:

Conservatives Are So Gay by Michael Warren Davis

Excerpts:

by Michael Warren Davis

The GOP should surrender once again, this time on the rainbow flag

June 28, 2022

[The author begins by describing the changes to the homosexual “Pride” flag, which began with the colors of the rainbow, but which has been changed the last year or two by progressives to include design elements to reflect Transgender persons and other sexualities. The author says that his town is flying the old-school, traditional “Pride” rainbow flag on main street, rather than the updated version of the flag with the Trans colors, etc, in it.]

… What’s infinitely more likely, though, is that gays and lesbians have been passé since Obergefell v. Hodges was decided in 2015. Most of the left’s talking points now revolve almost exclusively around blacks and transsexuals. It’s an attempt to represent the whole progressivist movement in a single banner. That’s what “intersectionality” means. Black is queer, and queer is black.

… Couldn’t it be argued that anyone flying an old rainbow flag in 2022 is dog-whistling to the far-right?

The old rainbow flag has essentially become a reactionary symbol. What if the Republican Party claimed it as its own?

Man Divorces Wife For Cooking Instant Noodles Every Day for Breakfast, Lunch, and Dinner – Nothing But Sexist Stereotypes Was Stopping Him from Cooking for Himself.

Man Divorces Wife For Cooking Instant Noodles Every Day for Breakfast, Lunch, and Dinner – Nothing But Sexist Stereotypes Was Stopping Him from Cooking for Himself.

Marriage doesn’t make people more mature… marriage seems to make some people very petty.

(Link): A guy in India divorced his wife because she kept feeding him instant noodles for every single meal, every single day

(Link): Man divorces wife for cooking instant noodles every day for breakfast, lunch and dinner

by KHALID LAWS | The National Desk
Tuesday, June 7th 2022

MYSURU, India (TND) — A judge said that a man divorced his wife for cooking him instant noodles every day for every meal.

During a news conference, ML Raghunath, a principal district and sessions court judge in India, presented what he called a “Maggi Case,” according to Insider.

“The husband said his wife did not know how to prepare any food other than Maggi noodles. It was noodles for breakfast, lunch and dinner,” Raghunath said. “He complained that his wife went to the provision store and brought only instant noodles.”

Gallup Poll: Americans Say Birth Control, Divorce Most “Morally Acceptable”

Gallup Poll: Americans Say Birth Control, Divorce Most “Morally Acceptable”

LOL, this sure gives the idiotic “Permanence of Marriage, even abuse isn’t grounds for divorce view” Christian complementarian and patriarchal dweebs adhere to more of an uphill climb.

From June of 2022:

(Link): Poll: Americans say birth control, divorce most “morally acceptable”

(Link): Americans Say Birth Control, Divorce Most ‘Morally Acceptable’

June 2022
By Megan Brenan

 WASHINGTON, D.C. — Americans’ ratings of the morality of 19 behaviors are little changed since last year. Using birth control and getting divorced remain the most “morally acceptable” actions, and having extramarital affairs and cloning humans are seen as the most “morally wrong.”

A New Start After Age 60: ‘Alone for the First Time in My Life, I Learned How To Be Happy’ (A Woman’s Husband Divorces Her After 40 Years of Marriage)

A New Start After Age 60: ‘Alone for the First Time in My Life, I Learned How To Be Happy’ (A Woman’s Husband Divorces Her After 40 Years of Marriage) by Paula Cocozza

In the article below, the woman (who is in the UK) also mentions that when she was younger, her father died, which had a big impact on her and her mental health.

(Link): A new start after 60: ‘Alone for the first time in my life, I learned how to be happy’

Excerpts:

by Paula Cocozza

Marian Elliott was devastated when her husband left her after almost 40 years together. New friends have helped her rebuild her confidence – and enjoy her freedom

May 16, 2022

Marian Elliott was 22 when she left the family home to be with her husband-to-be. So when he left her nearly 40 years later – shortly after her 60th birthday – she found herself living entirely alone for the first time.

Elliott had thought she could picture the next stage in her life. She and her ex had worked hard to pay off their mortgage.

“We were about to enjoy our retirement together,” she says with a heavy sigh. Now there was nothing but uncertainty. “I felt such pain, I didn’t know what to do with it,” she says.