Response to the Alex Parker Piece ‘Feminist Rages Against GirlPal ‘Galentine’s Day,’ Says No Women Are Lonely, Praises Group Vomiting’

Response to the Alex Parker Piece ‘Feminist Rages Against GirlPal ‘Galentine’s Day,’ Says No Women Are Lonely, Praises Group Vomiting’

A conservative editorialist at the Town Hall site, Alex Parker (who I assume is a man), mocks an (Link): anti-Galentine’s Day essay written by a secular, liberal feminist named Rachel Hosie.

“Galentine’s Day” is a new holiday where women friends can celebrate their friendships with each other on February 13th.

The secular feminist that Parker is responding to believes that Galentine’s Day is patronizing to single women, so she is not in support of the holiday.

As a never-married woman who is over 45 years of age who had wanted to be married, but it didn’t come to pass for me, I came to terms with being never-married years ago, so Valentine’s Day no longer bothers me the way it used to.

I don’t have strong feelings for or against Galentine’s Day.

While Hosie’s contention may be true that Galentine’s Day is patronizing towards single adulthood (which is a bad thing), I see it as ultimately a harmless day for women to spend enjoying the friendship of their women friends, so I don’t object to the holiday.

I do however object to a few of the points that Parker made while trying to dismantle Hosie’s arguments.

I will provide excerpts from the Parker editorial and then offer my observations:

(Link): Feminist Rages Against GirlPal ‘Galentine’s Day,’ Says No Women Are Lonely, Praises Group Vomiting

Excerpts:

[Hosie the liberal feminist writes,]

Actually, we don’t need your pity — and the whole concept perpetuates the ridiculous myth of the sad, single woman.

[To which conservative Parker replies,]

The ridiculous myth?? How is it a myth, and how is it ridiculous?

Men want women, and women want men; that’s why we have February 14th … Thursday’s gonna find some people without dates; some portion of those will have ovaries; and some of those are gonna be none too thrilled.

Oh, wait — I forgot; this is 2019.

Okay…women aren’t women and men aren’t men and women don’t have to be like men or women, and there are no men or women…
–(end quotes)—-

My comments regarding this portion of the exchange:

Spinsters and Crazy Cat Ladies

I cannot believe Parker is feigning ignorance of the “sad, pathetic” single woman trope.

Being a conservative who is critiquing a liberal or feminist essay does not mean having to act ignorant of certain societal truths in the process.

Continue reading “Response to the Alex Parker Piece ‘Feminist Rages Against GirlPal ‘Galentine’s Day,’ Says No Women Are Lonely, Praises Group Vomiting’”

Technological Progress and the Global Sex Recession by J. Kotkin

Technological Progress and the Global Sex Recession by J. Kotkin

The author’s attitude towards celibacy is a bit negative, which I do not like. This guy seems to worship the Nuclear Family, something a lot of secular and Christian conservatives are guilty of.

It’s not just technology that possibly leads to celibacy – Christian teachings in the United States is also, or can be, a celibacy factory., and that was true long before the rise of social media.

He thinks less sex is “grim.” Oh please.

Marriage isn’t a guarantee of sex, either. I have many examples on my blog of (Link): sexless marriages.

(Link): Technological Progress and the Global Sex Recession

We may live amidst what seems a libidinous culture, but oddly also an increasingly sexless time.

Of course, the drop in early teen sex – and even more so, teen pregnancies – represents positive developments, but when lack of social interaction leads to celibacy in the twenties, thirties and beyond, the implications are less than wholesome.

The Atlantic recently described a “sex recession” in the United States and most western countries, with fewer people dating and even those in relationships getting intimate less often than in the past, while fewer enjoy regular bonds of any kind.

Continue reading “Technological Progress and the Global Sex Recession by J. Kotkin”

Church Is a Family, Not an Event by K. Kandiah

Church Is a Family, Not an Event by K. Kandiah

This editorial by Kandiah makes many of the same points I have been making on this blog the last several years.

Church is not just about spreading the Gospel (as so many Christians incorrectly assume), but God designed the church to also serve as a community, another family, where widowed, single, and divorced adults could get their needs for companionship met.

But most churches today do not want to engage in that role; all the church-goers want to go home to their homes in the suburbs with their biological families and just hang out with their families.

Many church-going Christians don’t care to invite over the divorcee’ or the widower or the never married woman and include any of those people in their lives.

(Link): Church Is a Family, Not an Event by K. Kandiah

Excerpts:

The Bible refers to fellow Christians as “brothers and sisters,” but how often do we treat them as family?

More Than an Event
I have met many pastors and church members who can tell similar stories. As I visit many churches that are embracing people in desperate need of family, my eyes are continually being opened not only to what family truly can be but to what church as family truly can be.

This shift in perception of what church is, and what church is for, has huge implications, not just for our own personal spiritual development but for our understanding of mission, evangelism, worship, justice, hospitality, and discipleship.

Continue reading “Church Is a Family, Not an Event by K. Kandiah”

‘I Almost Drove My Car Off A Bridge Because Of The Strain of Having a Family’

‘I Almost Drove My Car Off A Bridge Because Of The Strain of Having a Family’

I’m not exactly anti-marriage or anti-family, but.

However. I am tired of how other conservatives or how 99% of Christians “hype” marriage, children, and “the family” to the point they act as though everyone should get married and have a kid, and if you do not, they suggest or state point blank, that you have failed culture and society, and you’re a big Loser. Christians especially behave as though getting married and having a kid is a commandment from God (it is not).

Being married and being a mother did not bring happiness to this lady.

And notice how this lady says that she and her husband didn’t have sex for a year.

I bring that up, because one teaching I heard or saw a lot in Christian sermons or books when I was a kid growing up is that if one remains a virgin until marriage, that God will reward you and your spouse with regular, “mind blowing” sex. The reality is, a person can remain chaste but then end up having lousy sex in marriage, or none at all.

(Link): BABY BLUES – We rowed [argued] and hadn’t had sex for a year due to the strain of starting a family… I almost drove my car off a bridge

January 2019

Aimee and Davin Bradley, both 35, were at each other’s throats for the first three years of their daughter’s life

By Hayley Richardson

HAVING a baby can feel like the icing on the cake for some couples but for others the strain of starting a family can push them to breaking point.

Aimee and Davin Bradley, both 35, were at each other’s throats for the first three years of their daughter Autumn’s life and didn’t have sex for a year.

Continue reading “‘I Almost Drove My Car Off A Bridge Because Of The Strain of Having a Family’”

Woman, Age 86, Beats Her 89 Year Old Husband To Death With A Cane

Woman, Age 86, Beats Her 89 Year Old Husband To Death With A Cane

I really do want conservative think tanks, pro-family groups, conservative television host Tucker Carlson, and complementarian or conservative Christians to explain to me how marriage or “the family” makes society better, or how marriage is necessary to make a person mature, godly, or a “true” adult,  when I keep seeing so many news stories of married people who kill each other, or news items about husbands who are caught using child porn, beating their wives, or visiting prostitutes.

Marriage did not do anything to make this woman behave in a godly, mature, kind-hearted nature towards her husband.

I am someone who is over the age of 45, I’ve never been married, and I deeply resent conservative talk show hosts or “pro-family” Christian groups who keep acting as though everyone needs to be married, and if they are not, they are ruining society or are incapable of being godly and mature.

The Bible teaches that being single is fine with God – see 1 Corinthians chapter 7. No where does the Bible teach that marriage is mandatory for any reason – not to “save” culture or to make people more “godly.”

This article says that the wife may have dementia or mental health problems – well, did marriage keep this woman from developing mental health issues? No, it did not.

Christians and conservatives need to stop holding marriage or “the family” up as some kind of magical fix-alls.

(Link): Woman, Age 86, Beats Her 89 Year Old Husband To Death With A Cane

An elderly Florida woman beat her husband to death with a cane on Saturday, police said.

Ramona Maxine Lund, 86, from Pace, is charged with 89-year-old Francis Lund’s murder,the Orlando Sentinel reported. She is the oldest person in the county to be charged with murder, Santa Rosa County Sheriff Bob Johnson said at a press conference Monday.

Continue reading “Woman, Age 86, Beats Her 89 Year Old Husband To Death With A Cane”

Couple Put Kids In Car Trunk for 900 Mile Drive So Dogs Could Sit on Back Seat

Couple Put Kids In Car Trunk for 900 Mile Drive So Dogs Could Sit on Back Seat

And 99% of conservative Christians go on and on about how being a parent is necessary to make a person a true adult, and to make someone more loving, giving, and godly. What a bunch of crap.

Here’s another example of how parenthood did not make people more loving, giving or godly:

(Link): Couple Put Kids In Car Trunk for 900 Mile Drive So Dogs Could Sit on Back Seat

by Jimmy McCloskey
Friday 7 Dec 2018 3:42 pm

A couple admitted putting two young children in a car trunk for a 900 mile drive so their German shepherds could ride on the back seat.

Continue reading “Couple Put Kids In Car Trunk for 900 Mile Drive So Dogs Could Sit on Back Seat”

The Green River Serial Killer and Necrophiliac Was A Christian Married Father

The Green River Serial Killer and Necrophiliac Was A Christian Married Father

There was a television special on a few days ago about Gary Ridgway, who is the Green River serial killer.

Several aspects of this pervert’s life are relevant to subjects I discuss regularly on this blog, so keep on reading…

Ridgway had upwards of around 70 women victims, most in age of about 15 to their early 20s, though a few may have been around 12 or 13 years old.

Most of Ridgway’s victims were prostitutes, some were runaway kids.

Ridgway later admitted to authorities to occasionally going back and having sex with the dead bodies of his murder victims.

Here is how this pervert’s story is relevant to this blog:

Point 1. Marriage and Parenthood Do Not Make People Into Godly, Mature, Responsible Adults

I grew up in Southern Baptist churches. Both my parents were Southern Baptists.

Like many other conservative Christian groups, Southern Baptists peddle some untrue and un-biblical notions about marriage, natalism, and the family unit: they tend to assume and they will also sometimes teach, that marriage or parenthood are necessary to make a person fully adult, mature, godly, responsible, and ethical.

Continue reading “The Green River Serial Killer and Necrophiliac Was A Christian Married Father”

Mother Sexually Abused Her Own Infant Son While Breastfeeding Him And Video Taping It

Mother Sexually Abused Her Own Infant Son While Breastfeeding Him And Video Taping It

The link to the news story is much farther below.

If I am understanding this article correctly, this woman sexually abused her own infant son as she was breastfeeding him, took video of it, and uploaded the video somewhere.

In the article, she says she made these child sex abuse videos because she has low self esteem because the father of the infant son she was abusing dumped her – he left her.

I grew up hearing from Christians – Christians in churches I went to, in Christian literature, and even now, sometimes I see on Christian magazine sites and blogs, that the nuclear family, marriage, and kids are all-important are the only things that can fix American culture.

Further, a lot of conservative Christians will teach that marriage and parenthood are necessary to make a person a true, full adult. They will teach that anyone who remains single and/or childless has stunted development, is immature, ungodly,  and irresponsible.

Continue reading “Mother Sexually Abused Her Own Infant Son While Breastfeeding Him And Video Taping It”

Actor Stephen Baldwin, Who is Married, Christian, and a Father, Accused of Having a Two Year Extra-Marital Affair

Actor Stephen Baldwin, Who is Married, Christian, and a Father, Accused of Having a Two Year Extra-Marital Affair

A few days ago, I saw headlines about a woman claiming that actor Stephen Baldwin had an affair with her for two years. I saw another headline where Baldwin is denying this.

I think it’s probably true. Several years ago, Baldwin was a frequent guest on Christian TBN, on various shows.

He was, at least for a time, making “extreme sports” films aimed at teens and with a Christian message.

Baldwin seemed to be one of those “family values” type of guys.

Over the duration of my life, I have listened to so many Christians, and so many secular conservatives, rail against liberals for not supporting traditional values or the “nuclear family.”

I’ve listened to other conservatives (yes, I am also a conservative) complain about how liberals or the culture doesn’t support (hetero) marriage.

I’ve also sat through sermons, or have seen blog posts and articles online, where conservatives and Christians, go on and on about how important (hetero) marriage is, and they insultingly conflate adult maturity with marriage. They will argue that adult singles are not as mature as married adults. Some Christians also mistakenly believe that married people are more godly, responsible, or sexually pure than adult singles – all of which is not true.

Reports such as this one (and I think it is true) – about conservative, married men who are also fathers who claim to be Christian – demonstrates that being married, embracing family values, and being a parent, does not make a man more decent, godly, sexually pure, or responsible than it does someone who is single, childfree or childless.

(Link): The born-again Christian was seen on video getting cozy with a masseuse.

The born-again Christian was seen on video getting cozy with a masseuse.

(Link): STEPHEN BALDWIN IS CHEATING ON HIS WIFE AND DENIES EVERYTHING

(Link): Stephen Baldwin Denies Having an Affair With Masseuse Ruth Perez Anselmi 

(Link): Stephen Baldwin Denies Reports He’s Having An Affair After Incriminating Photos Emerge

(Link): EXCLUSIVE: ‘I love Stephen but he wants to keep me secret.’ Baldwin’s mistress tells DailyMailTV of their two-year affair, the 15 ‘sexual fantasies’ they acted out and how the actor ‘disguised himself as a homeless man’ to sneak around together

by R P West, Nov 2018

Ruth Perez Anselmi, 39, says she and Stephen Baldwin began a sexual relationship during his business trips to LA

The married actor, 52, met Anselmi at a Reseda physical therapy school in the summer of 2016 in LA where she was learning how to be a masseuse

In an exclusive interview with DailyMailTV she said: ‘I guess I love Stephen but we can’t be together, he wants to keep me secret ‘

She said the two ‘made a list of 15 sexual fantasies’ including role-play, using sex toys, threesome sex with another woman, and she once even dressed as a man

Continue reading “Actor Stephen Baldwin, Who is Married, Christian, and a Father, Accused of Having a Two Year Extra-Marital Affair”

The Incredibly Condescending and Presumptive Singles-Shaming Posts of Gladys Wisener

The Incredibly Condescending and Presumptive Singles-Shaming Posts of Gladys Wisener

In my few years of writing on this blog, I am still sometimes amazed at the comments I get, especially the remarks I get from the most innocuous of posts.

Never would I have imagined that linking to some article about a 105 year old woman who says she is happy and still alive at 105 because she has never bothered with men would induce someone to come on to my blog to leave me nasty and presumptive comments, but that is what happened.

This married woman named Gladys Wisener stopped by this blog recently, and she engaged in some singles-shaming under (Link): that post about a 105 year old single woman.

When Gladys began saying or assuming some weird, offensive, negative, or insulting things about me, and I understandably got irate and offended in response to her attitude and comments, and I let her know, she replies by telling me I sound “bitter.”

Because that’s what entitled married cows such as her do – they assume if you have a legitimate complaint against their obnoxious- married- people- attitudes and- presumptive- assumptions about you, they assume it can only come from a place of… wait for it… yes, that’s right, it must be due to bitterness.

And the unspoken assumption is that you, you single woman, must be bitter because you’re single and don’t have a husband.

In their thinking, bitterness could be the only possible reason you are correcting a married woman on your blog about singleness for being obnoxious.

Your anger cannot possibly be due to the married person’s hideous, insulting comments to you or about you or about singleness, no, it must be because you are not married!

If only you were married or in a steady relationship, you would not take umbrage at the married person’s condescending comments about you or your blog – married or engaged people would love to be on the receiving end of your lousy assumptions and comments and take them so well.

Continue reading “The Incredibly Condescending and Presumptive Singles-Shaming Posts of Gladys Wisener”

One Third of British Men Say They Sometimes Hide In Their Bathrooms To Escape Family, Survey Claims

One Third of British Men Say They Sometimes Hide In Their Bathrooms To Escape Family, Survey Claims

Why do conservative Christians blather on and on about the supposed need for parenthood – because supposedly, parenthood makes people less selish, and turns them into all-Giving, loving, responsible, mature Savior Figures, when some of these parents admit to hiding from their own families in the bathroom?

And why are men hiding? Women still do the majority of the house-work and child-care as most husbands sit around on their asses drinking beer and watching TV.

I don’t see how the Nuclear Family is making culture any better, especially when the male figure of the family is hiding from said family in the bathroom.

(Link):One third of British men say they sometimes hide in their bathrooms to escape family, survey claims

By R. Knight
Sept 2018

A third of British men say they sometimes hide in their bathrooms “to get some peace and quiet”, according to a new poll.

The survey of 1,000 men found that on average they spend a total of seven hours a year in the bathroom for this reason.
Respondents said the main reasons they hid in the toilet was to avoid chores and look at their phones undisturbed.

Continue reading “One Third of British Men Say They Sometimes Hide In Their Bathrooms To Escape Family, Survey Claims”

Mega Church Preacher Bill Hybels in Trouble Again For More Sexual Harassment

Mega Church Preacher Bill Hybels in Trouble Again For More Sexual Harassment (2018)

I don’t think I ever blogged about this Hybels guy before.

He was first in the news many months ago for sexually harassing several different women in his church years before, who had worked as church staff.

His church first denied that this was true, and they attempted to say the women who stepped forward to discuss their harassment or abuse by this guy were lying.

There are so many of these pervy pastors it’s hard to keep up with them all. If all I ever did was blogged about perverted pastors, it would be a full time job, and I’d never have a break from this blog!

I’m pretty sure that Hybels is a married guy, too. Christians keep teaching that marriage is necessary to make a person a godly, responsible adult, and to keep them out of sexual sin, but as we see (yet once again!) marriage does not necessarily instill character into anyone, nor does it keep anyone from sexual sin or from sexually abusing others.

Let this story also go to show that a person does NOT have to become perfect, godly, or sinless to “earn” a spouse from God.

Yes, there are some Christians out there who teach that if you are single and want to get married, God will with-hold your spouse from you unless you become more godly, mature, or whatever quality. As  you can see from news reports such as this one, that is total bunk.

God did not withhold a spouse from Hybels (again, I’m fairly certain he has a wife), even though God had to know what a pervert the man is.

(Link): He’s a Superstar Pastor. She Worked for Him and Says He Groped Her Repeatedly.

Excerpts:

Bill Hybels built an iconic evangelical church outside Chicago. A former assistant says that in the 1980s, he sexually harassed her.

SOUTH BARRINGTON, Ill. — After the pain of watching her marriage fall apart, Pat Baranowski felt that God was suddenly showering her with blessings.

She had a new job at her Chicago-area megachurch, led by a dynamic young pastor named the Rev. Bill Hybels, who in the 1980s was becoming one of the most influential evangelical leaders in the country.

Continue reading “Mega Church Preacher Bill Hybels in Trouble Again For More Sexual Harassment”

Married Man Looking to Cheat is Mocked After Leaving a Crib in the Background on His Tinder (Dating Site) Photo

Married Man Looking to Cheat is Mocked After Leaving a Crib in the Background on His Tinder (Dating Site) Photo

Parenthood and marriage do not make all people more godly, mature, and responsible. Which you should already know, unless you’re a conservative, complementarian Christian who has made an idol out of the Nuclear Family, in which case the following story may shock you.

(Link): Married man, 42, is ripped apart for posting a topless selfie on Tinder looking for an affair – and he scores ‘douchebag points’ for leaving a MOSES basket in the background 

(Link): Married father gets shredded online for Tinder profile looking for affair 

A married father has been labelled a ‘douchebag’ after posting a Tinder profile of himself looking for an affair.

But it’s not the extramarital activity that has most people riled up.

The unnamed man uploaded a photo to the dating app, careful to crop out his head, and simply named himself ‘P’, so as to not be identified by his wife.

Continue reading “Married Man Looking to Cheat is Mocked After Leaving a Crib in the Background on His Tinder (Dating Site) Photo”

Ed Stetzer’s Series on Christianity and Adult Singles, via CT

Ed Stetzer’s Series on Christianity and Adult Singles, via CT

Stetzer  – who has not always done a great job in the past in discussing adult singleness and aspects related (see this link and this link) – has started a new series at Christianity Today about Christianity and adult singleness, specifically, how churches and Christians have habitually marginalized singles and idolized the family unit.

I think he’s planning on writing one or two more essays in this series; currently, he only has part 1 and part 2 up and running.

As he adds more essays in this series (if he does so, I’m unclear as if to there will be future posts), I think my preference is to edit this post to add links to those posts, rather than making separate posts on my blog about it.

Stetzer is covering issues about this I have been blogging about on this blog for the past several years.

One problem I have with one of these pieces is that Stetzer tells married couples not to shy away from be-friending single adults, because marrieds refusing to friend single adults can unfairly ostracize singles – which is fine advice – I’m all for married people friend-ing single people, yet (here is where the problematic part comes in) –

Yet, however, in 2014, Stetzer essentially told married couples in (Link): another article on Christianity Today magazine article to treat all singles like potential adulterers, to basically practice the “Billy Graham Rule,” and stay away from single adults of the opposite sex, because opposite – sex friendships will all supposedly end in an affair.

Which is not true. I’m a never-married woman, but I would not have an affair with a married man.

Singles are no more prone to committing sexual sins than married people.

There are plenty of examples of married people having extra-marital affairs with another married person. (There are plenty of husbands who have affairs with another man’s wife.)

Marriage does not make adults immune from committing (sexual) sin – note (Link): how many married Christian (and Non-Christian) men have been caught looking at porn, arrested for child molesting, hiring prostitutes, or having affairs.

Here’s the link to his first post in the series, the second is below:

(Link):  Singles: A Vital Part of Our Churches, Part 1– by Ed Stetzer

Excerpts:

Singles make up half of our churches, so we best learn to treat all people—married or single—equally

Let me just get this out there at the outset: For many, being single in the church can sometimes feel very awkward.

I have heard a number of singles tell me stories that have made me cringe—stories of how the leadership and the marrieds in the church spoke or acted in ways that were silly at best and dishonoring at worst.

Continue reading “Ed Stetzer’s Series on Christianity and Adult Singles, via CT”

The Unfortunate Anti-Virginity Fall-Out from Christian Misogynist Lori Alexander’s Wacky “Debt Free Virgins Without Tattoos” Post – The Problem is Not Supporting Virginity, It’s Complementarianism

The Unfortunate Anti-Virginity Fall-Out from Christian Misogynist Lori Alexander’s  Wacky “Debt Free Virgins Without Tattoos” Post – The Problem is Not Supporting Virginity, It’s Complementarianism

Updated:

Lori Alexander has posted this (unhelpful) clarification of her post (about “Debt Free Virgins with Tattoos”) on an ultra-conservative political forum:

(Link): Godly Men Prefer Debt Free Virgins Without Tattoos – by Lori Alexander, on Free Republic

Her new aspect is to add the word “Godly” prior to the word “Men,” as if that makes it less obnoxious or wrong, but it does not.

I used to lurk at the Free Republic site, back in my more conservative days, but I’m not surprised to see most of the posters under Alexander’s post on that site actually agreeing with it.

Of course they do.

I’m still a conservative, but I’m no longer off the reservation about it, as the Freepers are on some things, like on this topic.


The Unfortunate Anti- Virginity Fall Out Due to Lori Alexander’s “Debt Free Virgin” Post

If you’d like more background to this post, and an explanation for who Lori Alexander is, please see my previous post about it here:

(Link): Reflections On Lori Alexander’s Debt Free Virgins Without Tattoos

If you are new to my blog, a recap:

I am over 45 years of age and still a virgin.

I was reserving sexual activity for marriage. I’ve never had sexual intercourse. I was expecting to be married but never found Mr. Right.

I do have a libido.

Contrary to what Christians ASSUME about older virgins, Celibacy, being sexually abstinent for as long as I’ve been, is not “a gift” where God granted it to me and supernaturally removed my libido and makes it easy-breezy to cope with.

For many years, I was dedicated to remaining a virgin until marriage, due to Christian ethics, (these days I’m semi-agnostic), but also due to other reasons as well, which I shall not get into here but have explained in older posts on the blog.

In the last ten or so years, I’ve seen a disturbing trend where secular, liberal feminist views about sex have trickled into liberal Christian corners, where there is much railing against “slut shaming” and there is strong opposition to judging any woman for her sexual behavior or choices.

This trend became so common that these same views, disturbingly, began appearing on liberal Christian blogs and sites, whose progressive, feminist, Christian authors began writing editorials saying virginity is of no import, God only cares about your heart and spiritual purity, and God does not care so much anyone’s sexual behavior, (Link): intact hymen, or sexual past.

This anti- sexual purity thinking (which includes the down-playing, condemning, or mocking of physical virginity and adult celibacy) has even crept into mainstream moderate- to- conservative churches and Christian writing and thinking, unfortunately.

Continue reading “The Unfortunate Anti-Virginity Fall-Out from Christian Misogynist Lori Alexander’s Wacky “Debt Free Virgins Without Tattoos” Post – The Problem is Not Supporting Virginity, It’s Complementarianism”

Needy Single Mom Feels Abandoned By Church Family (Ask Amy)

Needy Single Mom Feels Abandoned By Church Family (Ask Amy)

In an older post, I mentioned how it is that some older adults do not recognize just how poorly churches and Christian culture treats single adults until those older adults become single again via divorce or widowhood:
Then they notice how absolutely marriage-centric churches are, and how utterly horrid Christians are about meeting the needs of single adults.

Then you have your married parents who don’t realize how Obsessed With the Nuclear Family most churches are until their (Link): own kids grow up and move out and stop attending church with them.

Then and only then do some Christian married couples wake up to see how absolutely terrible churches are about neglecting single adults or the childless.

The woman who wrote this letter to “Ask Amy” had to go through a divorce before she noticed how anti-singles friendly her church was. Amazing.

Also, I could’ve told this woman that Christians in general are awful at showing concern, care, and empathy for people who are in pain or under-going some stress in life.

Continue reading “Needy Single Mom Feels Abandoned By Church Family (Ask Amy)”

Why Are Conservatives Forcing Mothers From Their Kids? by M. Walther

Why Are Conservatives Forcing Mothers From Their Kids?

I am marginally still a social conservative, but as the months go by, I find myself drifting further and further away from it (though I’ll never be a liberal).

I was a stalwart social conservative for many years, but I’ve become more attuned to some of the hypocrisy or double standards contained within some socially conservative points or views.

One of the things I’ve struggled with the last couple of years is that Republicans (I’m an ex Republican) and social conservatives claim to be “pro-family,” yet, they often want to push through policies that cut off or limit families or kids or single mothers in some way.

Yes, I grasp that Republicans are for smaller government and want to cut expenses, but I don’t see how they can do that in the area of family benefits.

How can you claim to be “pro family” and to support children, and say that liberals are the evil anti-family types, when you keep promoting legislative material that wants to cut funding for families or kids? (Please see the “Related Posts” section at the bottom of this post for more.)

By the way. Many social conservatives and Christian conservatives fret, fret, fret that marriage and baby-making are on the decline in the United States – see for example links on my blog such as this one –

(Link):  Conservatives and Christians Fretting About U.S. Population Decline – We Must “Out-breed” Opponents Christian Host Says

And yet, they penalize women who do become pregnant and give birth. If you are a Republican, Christian, or social conservative who thinks family is great, motherhood is great, and that women should have more children, then why on earth would you penalize women who do in fact give birth?

Shouldn’t you be willing to help all mothers – whether single or not – more? I don’t understand the hatred for mothers who need a helping hand from the very people who bray on and on about how horrible it is today’s culture supposedly disregards motherhood and the nuclear family.

Many Republicans, social conservatives, and Christians I’ve seen since I’ve been a teenager reading political columns, have regularly argued that children are better off if their mothers stay at home, rather than dropping them off at a daycare to hold down an outside-the-home career.

But as this editorial by Walthers explains, some of the Republican reforms of welfare has forced women into working outside the home, thus leaving their children motherless during the day.

How is it out of one side of their mouths that conservatives are saying it’s bad for women who are mothers to work outside the home, but then forcing them into the position to do that very thing?

(Link): Why Are Conservatives Forcing Mothers From Their Kids? by Matthew Walther

What would happen, I wonder, if all the Republican state senators in the country woke up to find that all their wildest dreams had come true?

Continue reading “Why Are Conservatives Forcing Mothers From Their Kids? by M. Walther”

The Entitled, Insensitive Comments Left by Entitled Christian Mothers, and the Men Who Support Them, Under the Post ‘Don’t Ask Moms To Stand In Church This Sunday (Mother’s Day)’

The Entitled, Insensitive Comments Left by Entitled Christian Mothers, and the Men Who Support Them, Under the Post ‘Don’t Ask Moms To Stand In Church This Sunday (Mother’s Day)’

As of 2018, the snotty entitlement and insensitivity of some mothers – and Christian men who support them – continues.

I’ve been blogging about this topic for a few years now on this blog. It makes me sad to see this still going on.

DefendTheSheep (person on Twitter) tweeted out a link to this reasonable essay imploring Christians to be more sensitive towards those who find the Mother’s Day holiday painful. Link to that:

(Link): Don’t Ask Moms To Stand in Church This Sunday

My problem is not with the essay itself.

As a matter of fact, I encourage you to click the link above to visit the page and read it.

My problem was with some of the hideous comments various people left below the page.

Some of the comments were just incredibly insensitive or very mistaken about why some people find Mother’s Day – especially when it’s celebrated during church services – to be hurtful or stressful.

Christians often like to teach that parenthood and marriage are necessary to make people more giving and loving and compassionate, but that is not so. The married parents leaving comments under blog posts such as the one I am discussing here are very selfish and entitled – being parents has done nothing to make them more loving, caring, or empathetic.

Continue reading “The Entitled, Insensitive Comments Left by Entitled Christian Mothers, and the Men Who Support Them, Under the Post ‘Don’t Ask Moms To Stand In Church This Sunday (Mother’s Day)’”

Focus on the Family Defends IRS Classification as a ‘Church,’ Says It’s Meant to Protect Donors

Focus on the Family Defends IRS Classification as a ‘Church,’ Says It’s Meant to Protect Donors

While I am not against the “nuclear family” per se, I am very much in opposition to how Christians and other conservatives have turned the nuclear family into an idol.

Conservatives revere the nuclear family (as well as natalism, motherhood, and marriage) to the detriment and exclusion of the childless, the infertile, the child-free, the widowed, the divorced, and the never married – anyone who does not fit their nauseating, preferred structure of society.

Christians don’t just “focus” on the family, they WORSHIP it – which is a sin. The Bible tells you not to put anything or anyone above your devotion to Jesus Christ, not even your flesh and blood family, but Christians ignore this.

(Link): Focus on the Family Defends IRS Classification as a ‘Church,’ Says It’s Meant to Protect Donors

By Michael Gryboski , Christian Post Reporter | Apr 20, 2018 11:39 AM

Focus on the Family is defending its decision to have the Internal Revenue Service officially reclassify the Christian nonprofit as a “church,” denouncing the efforts of some to ascribe “sinister” intentions to the change.

An article published in February by the liberal group People for the American Way’s Right Wing Watch site documenting Focus on the Family’s reclassification has been getting extensive attention in recent weeks.

Continue reading “Focus on the Family Defends IRS Classification as a ‘Church,’ Says It’s Meant to Protect Donors”

Toby Willis’ Daughter Jessica Reveals Decades of Sex Abuse, Beatings, Secrets in Christian Family

Toby Willis’ Daughter Jessica Reveals Decades of Sex Abuse, Beatings, Secrets in Christian Family

Review of common motiffs covered on this blog:

-Complementarianism (Christian patriarchy / male headship) is sexist trash and doesn’t produce “godly” men (actually, men under comp take advantage of women and hold women responsible for the sins of men);
-marriage does not make people more “godly” or responsible than singleness; and,
-God does not grant spouses to perfect people only (if God did so, the depraved idiot in this following news story, who fondled his own kids would not have gotten a spouse).

(Link): Toby Willis’ Daughter Jessica Reveals Decades of Sex Abuse, Beatings, Secrets in Christian Family

By Stoyan Zaimov , Christian Post Reporter | Apr 17, 2018 9:50 AM

Jessica Willis Fisher, the 26-year-old daughter of The Willis Clan patriarch Toby, has revealed that she suffered decades of sex abuse, beatings, and manipulation at the hands of her father.

The Willis Clan, originally made up of a Christian family of 14 from Nashville, Tennessee, shot to fame through season 9 of “America’s Got Talent.” They were also featured in “The Willis Family” TV series on TLC between 2015 and 2016, before Toby Willis was arrested on charges of child rape.

Continue reading “Toby Willis’ Daughter Jessica Reveals Decades of Sex Abuse, Beatings, Secrets in Christian Family”