Jesus was Single and Single People Should be Valued, Says Church of England – All Other Churches, Christians, and Denominations Need To Take Direction from This Church on This Issue

Jesus was Single and Single People Should be Valued, Says Church of England

While I’m thrilled to see a church acknowledge single adults and correct the marriage-, parenthood-, and nuclear family- idolizing as committed by Baptists and other churches and denominations, unfortunately, the Church of England jumped on to the progressive ideology bandwagon by proclaiming they cannot, or will not, define “woman.”

Shame on the Church of England for enabling the sexist “transgender” movement, but they do at least correct the single-shaming views, attitudes, practices, and doctrines of so many other churches or denominations.

More Christians, more para-church groups, Southern Baptists, and other churches and denominations really do need to course-correct from the singles-shaming or singles-marginalizing they engage in, and they need to repent of worshipping Marriage, Natalism, The Nuclear Family, and Parenthood.

(Link):  Church of England Says To Celebrate Single People, Since Jesus Was Single, Too

The report is indicative of an attitude shift within the church, which has traditionally encouraged its followers to get married and have children.

(Link): Single people should be valued by the Church of England just as much as couples, new report commissioned by two Archbishops urges

April 26, 2023

Single people should be valued by the Church of England just as much as couples, a major report has urged.

The study commissioned by the Archbishops of Canterbury and York points out that Jesus himself never married, and warns that single people may feel unwelcome if churches overuse the word family.

It also admits that being in a committed couple is no guarantee of being ‘happy ever after’ – and that even Adam and Eve had strains in their relationship.

…And it warns that ‘hook-up culture’ is now presented as normal to young girls but adds: ‘Loveless sex is not empowering.’

…The report says it is a ‘point of concern’ that the Government has increased the marriage age to 18 while leaving the age of consent at 16, saying: ‘It legally implies that sex before marriage is acceptable in a way that it was not legally until now.’

…Others who were divorced felt ‘unwelcome in their church and judged for their ‘failure’, with some leaving as a result.

‘Others commented that the declining numbers attending a church is symbolic of an institution which fails to understand and acknowledge the diversity of family life today,’ the report warns.

‘We heard that the Church of England often conveys an expectation of marriage which is not present in society, and that there is too much focus on marriage and family in the church community, especially as increasing numbers of people are choosing to remain single.’

…And it recommends that the Church: ‘Honour and celebrate singleness, whether through choice or circumstance, and recognise the full place of single people within the Church and society.’

It points out: ‘We are reminded that Jesus never married and remained single throughout his life. This was unusual as it was expected at that time that everyone would marry.’ 

(Link): A Church of England report released Wednesday said that single people “must be valued at the heart of our society.”

APRIL 26, 2023 / CBS NEWS

…A Church of England report released Wednesday said that single people “must be valued at the heart of our society.”

The 238-page report, titled “Love Matters,” was the third in a trilogy of major reports commissioned by the Archbishops of Canterbury and York. The first addressed housing and the second examined care and support.

The latest report, on families and households, reflected the church’s changing stance on singlehood and single-person households.

The church’s report acknowledged that a growing number of people elect to be single as a result of divorce, separation, the death of a partner, not having found a suitable partner, or as a deliberate lifestyle choice. It said that loving relationships matter to single people just as much as they do to those who are married with families.

Bizarre: Women Who Are Genuinely Fine With Being Single or Childless and Who Publicly Admit It Deeply Disturb or Infuriate Sexist Incel Types and My Fellow Conservatives, Who Want Such Women to Harbor a Victim Mindset

Bizarre: Women Who Are Genuinely Fine With Being Single or Childless and Who Publicly Admit It Deeply Disturb or Infuriate Sexist Incel Types and My Fellow Conservatives, Who Want Such Women to Harbor a Victim Mindset

I have been a conservative person my entire life. I am not liberal, woke, or progressive.

I am not opposed to marriage, motherhood, the nuclear family, or parenthood. I do not support abortion on demand.

For years now, I have noticed the oddest, most disgusting behavior from other conservatives: many of them become unhinged, unsettled, or very angry about women who are truly happy with being single or childless or childfree. It didn’t cross my mind to blog about this observation until now.

The cherry on top of Conservative Outrage on this topic is that the fury seems to be particularly directed at single, childless women who mention on social media or in televised interviews that they’re enjoying life single and childless.

That is, from the angry conservative pro-family types, if you are single, childless (or childfree) and happy about it as a woman, you damn well just better keep it to yourself.

These pro-family conservatives, many of whom even profess to be Christian, further sometimes say things to or about those childless women and tell them personally on social media, how miserable they must be.

They chortle things at them things like, “You will die alone in a house full of cats,” and they say this as though they are filled with glee and happy at the thought of childless women dying alone and unhappy. How perverse.

Some of them, like Catholic Matt Walsh, even like to get ageist, and toss in comments about age at these women, saying to them, “You’re nearing 40…” or, “You’re almost 50….” (See (Link): example Tweet of his here.)

Ditto regarding “incels” or other types of men who are deeply sexist and ageist towards women. They too get very agitated and unglued if a woman publicly admits to being okay, content, or happy with being single or childless.

It’s as though these groups need and desperately want to believe that women who are and remain single or childless (or childfree) are lonely, bitter, miserable, and unhappy, or will become so in the future – and they need to believe that such women are deeply unhappy precisely because those women are single, childless, or childfree.

In the reverse situation, every once in awhile a woman celebrity may publicly say she’s sad that she was never able to have children – and what do the sexist conservatives and d-bag incels do, but immediately take screen captures of the comments, share them all over social media, as if to say,

“See? See?! Feminism has made women miserable. All women obviously want to marry and have babies! They are depressed if they don’t marry and have children, see, see, see!!!
“Women are unable to enjoy life or find contentment if they never marry or never have children, here is your proof, right here, this lady movie star saying she is lonely at 62 and regrets she never had children!!!!”

I’ve never been a feminist, but may I add: if some women are unhappy being childless or single, it may be in part precisely because conservatives and churches are constantly brainwashing women to think their only purpose in life, and their only road to happiness, resides in marrying and becoming pregnant.

If a woman grows up in a family, societal, or religious context that conditions her to think that she can be happy and have meaning only if she marries or has children, well, duh, don’t be surprised if yes, some women may get to adulthood and feel a little down that they’re not married or don’t have kids.

But that would be a result, in part, due to conservative, traditional, old school “family values” brainwashing. That would not be due to “feminism,” of all things

It’s as though many conservatives and sexist lunatics want single and childless women to be unhappy. It’s utterly bizarre to me.

Before I go on further, here is a pertinent article from the WSJ:

(Link): What’s That Ticking Sound? The Male Biological Clock

Men are also at the mercy of age when it comes to having kids

June 25, 2011
By Jennifer Vanderbes

A man’s age when he has children is turning out to be an important factor in that child’s health, according to WSJ contributor Jennifer Vanderbes. Kelsey Hubbard talks to the author about the role a man’s biological clock plays in a child’s risk for diseases and disorders.

Conservatives and the Double Standard Re: Lonely, Single Hetero Men

By the way, I’ve seen more and more articles the last several years that say more and more hetero men are single, and those hetero men either don’t want to date or marry (they’ve lost interest), or, some of them do want to date or marry women, but they can’t seem to get girlfriends and do not know how to go about getting dates or getting a girl friend.

So, I then began seeing news stories such as these about men who are single, some of whom are lonely:

(Link): Guy So Depressed Over Being Single He Cut Off His Own Penis (article)

(Link): ‘Transmaxxing’: Meet The Online Community Encouraging Gender Transitions For Sexually Frustrated (Incel) Men

(Link): Number of ‘Lonely, Single’ Men is on the Rise as Women with Higher Dating Standards Look for Partners Who are ‘Emotionally Available, Good Communicators, and Share Similar Values’, Says Psychologist

(Link): Dear Abby: I (Older, Single Man) Gave Up Dating Women, and 30 Years Later, I’m Lonely

(Link): Bitter, Frustrated 22 Year Old Male Virgin and Member of Men’s Rights / PUA Groups Kills Several Women Because He Couldn’t Get Dates – what an entitled sexist doof

Funny how I seldom see other conservatives mocking such men as the ones mentioned in those news articles for being single and lonely.

If anything, when these topics and news reports of men “falling behind” in culture are brought up, both conservative men and women rush to the men’s defense, to pity them and portray men in culture as being victims.

Often times, such conservatives who paint men as a group as being victims blame women for the men’s victim status, or else, they blame feminism or feminists, for the failings of men – it is so hypocritical and laughable.

By the way, as a conservative, I’ve also noticed that any time a new study or news story is published about men being single and lonely, that conservatives such as (but not limited to) Tucker Carlson will offer very understanding, compassionate, nuanced examinations about these shifts in culture leaving men out in the cold, and how society has supposedly let men down.

Carlson especially likes to invite on conservative women guest speakers on to his television program on Fox News who back Carlson up on this issue, and these women cluck in worry over those poor, poor, single men who are allegedly being kept down and single by a supposedly “feminized” culture of raving, men-hating feminists.

However, if women are under discussion – let’s say there’s a study or news story about women finding it difficult finding suitable marriage partners to marry, or what have you – those very same conservatives who pity men will revoke deep, thoughtful, compassionate analysis to instead snigger in contempt that, “feminism has made you women miserable, ha ha ha, look how  you’ve traded the bliss of family and marriage to being chained to a corporate desk! Ha ha, it’s so wonderful to see single and childless women suffering!”

The culture-wide problems that men face and the ones that women face are treated completely differently by such conservatives, with pity and empathy (and lots of excuses and justifications) being made for the failings or sadness of men,
while women, on the other hand, get roasted, demonized, mocked, and criticized, often for things and problems that they actually did not bring about, but are blamed for anyhow.

I see this phenomenon come up quite often by Tucker Carlson, Matt Walsh, sometimes Ben Shapiro, Candace Owens, and so on.

The men always get a pass, and always get rationalizations and lots of hugs, kisses, and reassurances, and the men’s failings get blamed on women, or on feminism, while the women, on the other hand, usually (wrongly), get blamed for problems they did not create, and they get ridiculed or criticized, too.

The Gospel Coalition Says – in Sex Won’t Save You Essay – that (Married) Sex is a “Salvation Icon” that Supposedly “Points People to God” – TGC Making Christianity Irrelevant to Single, Celibate Adults

The Gospel Coalition Says – in Sex Won’t Save You Essay – that (Married) Sex is a “Salvation Icon” that Supposedly “Points People to God” -TGC Making Christianity Irrelevant to Single, Celibate Adults

I first began composing this on or around March 1 (or 2?), I have it set to be auto-published on March 4, and as of today, March 3, there’s been a lot more commentary on Twitter about this awful TGC marital sex article, to the point, TGC removed the original tweet linking to it, and I learned that one guy I quote-tweeted about it, a Brent McCracken, deleted his tweet that I quote tweeted (but I have a screen capture of it), and I was informed McCracken is head editor of TGC.

NOTE: I will edit this post after publication to add any more links or new content pertinent, so you may want to periodically re-visit this page and scroll down and skim over to find new links / videos, etc

I may be writing a follow up to this post later – a part two, if you will.

---

Un-freaking-believable. I’ve been blogging here for over ten years, and during that time, have I not been pointing out that not only do most Christians now, even the conservatives, attack sexual purity, sexual abstinence, virginity-until-marriage, but they have also turned sex (and marriage, parenthood, the nuclear family) into idols that they worship, to the point they act distressed when they hear that fornication among singles has declined? (I have a few examples under “Related Posts” towards the bottom of this page.)

There’s more of this nonsense, courtesy of The Gospel Coalition.

It starts off well enough by recognizing that many in secular society have turned sex and relationships into idols, and seek to find love and purpose in romance and sex, but then it goes on to make the very distasteful point that sex can, or does, point people to God.

Also… if such a book begins by acknowledging that singleness is fine in a page or two (or paragraph or two) but then never-the-less 99% of the book remains focused on a Jesus-marriage-sex analogy, it’s undercutting any “it’s okay to be single” or “you don’t have to be married and having sex to have a relationship with God” message.

This is no different from the idiot pastors who make every other sermon in church about “how to have smokin’ hot sex with your spouse” but who thinks it’s okay to overly focus on marriage constantly, if they merely toss in the token, “Hey, you may be single, but this marital sermon can be applicable to you too.”

I’m sorry, but evangelical Protestants or Baptists making the majority of the non-stop deluge of comments, sermons, or books about marriage and married sex, while only offering passing lip service, to adult singleness and celibacy, is still elevating marriage (and sex) to an unhealthy, bizarre, un-Biblical degree that still marginalizes singleness.

Screen Cap of Gospel Coalition Tweet

While it is true for a long time that many in American culture have turned sex and romantic relationships into idols, or seek to find identity or purpose in such, it’s also true that for the past several years, many news headlines and studies have been published showing that a larger number of adults are declining to have sex, date, and/or marry.

If you’re trying to titillate a secular public into giving Jesus a try by using sex-God analogies or metaphors, in a society where having sex, dating, or marrying are no longer the norm and not very popular, it’s not going to work.

I mean, while Butler is writing his book comparing knowing the Trinity to marital sexual intercourse and pro-creation, other conservative outlets have been in pearl-clutching, severe worry mode, that marriage is on the decline, and they’re shaming women for not choosing motherhood, and some conservatives are even upset that single adults are not having as much sex prior to marriage as they used to.

(Link): Sex Won’t Save You (But It Points to the One Who Will)

Excerpts (citing free use):

by Josh Butler
March 1, 2023

…Our culture looks to sex for salvation too. We want romance to free us from solitary confinement, to deliver us into a welcome embrace. But idolizing sex results in slavery.

Sex wasn’t designed to be your salvation but to point you to the One who is.

Union with Christ
Sex is an icon of Christ and the church.  …

[The author then goes on to refer to a Bible verses which seem to refer to marriage, such as a man leaving his family and cleaving to his wife, etc]

… A husband and wife’s life of faithful love is designed to point to greater things, but so is their sexual union! This is a gospel bombshell: sex is an icon of salvation.

Couples Who Marry Due to Family, Social Pressure 50% More Likely to Divorce: Study – reportage by Leonardo Blair

Couples Who Marry Due to Family, Social Pressure 50% More Likely to Divorce: Study – reportage by Leonardo Blair

And what do conservative Christians (who tend to be hyper-pro-marriage-and-pro-parenthood-and-pro-nuclear family) do BUT to highly pressure and shame single, childless adults into marrying.

I did a post here years ago about a woman who says she felt pressured to marry by her church, so she ended up marrying the wrong guy, and she regretted it, and she divorced (link to that is below, under “Related Posts”).

Christians and pro-nuclear family conservatives deify marriage (and parenthood and the nuclear family) to such an un-biblical, absurd degree that they end up alienating, insulting, and marginalizing any adult who doesn’t marry or have kids for whatever reason, and it needs to stop.

And by the way, for single adult women who had wanted to marry but remain single after the age of 30, 40, or older, getting married is not easy, but so many conservatives incorrectly assume that if you want marriage, it is easy-peasy, it’s a total snap, that if you want marriage, it will “just happen”,

(or, conservatives – and sometimes secular liberals, too – incredibly, insultingly, and unrealistically – expect single, adult women to “settle” for marrying stupid, abusive, weird, disturbed, sexist, ugly, fat, or idiot men
– of course, they hypocritically would not expect their own single adult daughter to marry a loser or weirdo (no, they advise their own single adult daughter to hold out for a quality catch),
but they feel fine advising non-family single females they run into to marry ANY GUY with a pulse who they cross paths with – it is so hypocritical and demeaning).

If one is a single, adult woman who desires marriage, it is not easy to find a decent, compatible man to marry – not on dating sites, bars, or in churches, either (most churches lack marrying-age single men, and some of the men who attend are abusive or are pedophiles who want to marry an adult woman to act as a “beard” to hide their sexual attraction to children).

(Link): Couples Who Marry Due to Family, Social Pressure 50% More Likely to Divorce: Study by Leonardo Blair

Excerpts:

Nov 2, 2022
by Leonardo Blair

Couples who get married due to family or social pressure are up to 50% more at risk of having a union that ends in divorce, according to a recent study from the Marriage Foundation in England and Wales.

The study, “Attitudes towards marriage and commitment,” published in October, asked 2,000 adults who had ever married how much they agreed or disagreed with each of 12 reasons presented by researchers for why they got married.

To ensure that the findings were relevant to today’s families, researchers then focused on 905 couples from the sample who married for the first time after the year 2000 when online dating emerged.

“What this research shows conclusively is that the reasons why people get married has a significant material impact to whether they stay together. While this might seem obvious, this has never been quantified,” said Harry Benson, Marriage Foundation’s research director, in a statement about the study shared with The Christian Post. “But the message is clear. Get married for love and your future together and not because it is either expected of you or because of family pressure.”

The Federalist Writers Continue to Disregard That Some of Their Readers Are Conservative, Single, and Childless – Re: “Childless Chris Evans’ Inspiring Condemnation Of Anti-LGBT Bigots: ‘Those People Die Off Like Dinosaurs’”

The Federalist Writers Continue to Disregard That Some of Their Readers Are Conservative, Single, and Childless – Re: “Childless Chris Evans’ Inspiring Condemnation Of Anti-LGBT Bigots: ‘Those People Die Off Like Dinosaurs’”

June 22, 2022

Post updated below, November 2022

I just wrote, (about two days ago!), (Link):  another rebuttal of sorts to another editorial at the Federalist that was, once again, in a round about way, shaming anyone single or childless for being single and childless.

And here we are again.

The owners of The Federalist, and their writers, really need to be aware that some of their readership consists of single, childless, conservative adults.

Not every un-married, childless adult out there hates the nuclear family, marriage, or parenthood, or is liberal or Democrat.

Some of us single and childless adults are conservatives who don’t agree with the progressive LGBT agenda.

Several days ago, when actor Chris Evans was informed that some nations were banning his new Disney / Pixar movie, Lightyear, because it contains a lesbian kissing scene, Evans made some kind of response in the media about how people who object to lesbianism or homosexuality will one day die off, and their views will go extinct, and he thinks that is a good thing.

While I myself do not support the entirety of the LGBT-agenda, in- so- far as they advocate things like wanting to force Christian bakers to bake wedding cakes for homosexual weddings, or legally (Link): permitting biological men who identify as women into women’s domestic violence shelters, bathrooms, and prisons, I also do not support any conservative retort that amounts to denigrating singleness or the state of being childless.

It is not necessary, fair, or kind, to push back against progressive LGBT propaganda, or to defend marriage and parenthood, at the expense of singleness and childlessness, but I will discuss this further below.

Here’s the latest singles-shaming, childless-shaming piece from The Federalist, only this time, it’s by another author, not the same one I was critiquing the other day over her essay (I will analyze it below the link and excerpts):

(Link): Childless Chris Evans’ Inspiring Condemnation Of Anti-LGBT Bigots: ‘Those People Die Off Like Dinosaurs’

Excerpts:

June 22, 2022
by Hans Fiene

Evans’s lack of children gives much greater weight to his insistence that all LGBTQIA2 opponents will go the way of the dodo.

… Next, when you remind them that they’re on the wrong side of history, they’ll repeat the debunked claim that history is more likely to be written by those who exist than those who don’t.

[When Evans was asked what his views were about anyone who was objecting to his new Lightyear movie due to its representation of homosexuality, Evans responded by conveying that]

 Their complaints will perish with them. Their bigotry will be swept into the dustbin of history. You simply need to wait for them to enter extinction.

To understand why his words are so comforting, it’s important to remember that Evans is an unmarried 41-year-old man with no children. Had his words been spoken by a man who sired offspring, they would be of no comfort to you.

… Evans’s lack of children, therefore, gives much greater weight to his insistence that all LGBTQIA2 opponents will go the way of the dodo. How can you not be comforted by the glorious confidence of this man who has reached middle age and yet has zero children to enroll in Miss Naughty’s Preschool for Drag Princesses? If kidless Captain America is certain that transgender eight-year-olds will still be a thing when the children of anti-LGBTQIA2+ Christians, Mormons, and Muslims inherit the earth, why should we fear?

Indeed they are! And you should be so confident of their idiocy that you do not fear forgoing procreation and leaving the children of your ideological enemies to continue your march towards queer justice. They’ll gladly oblige!

“Every time there’s been social advancement as we wake up, the American story, the human story is one of constant social awakening and growth and that’s what makes us good,” the film star added.

Absolutely! The human story is one long march towards libertine justice! Societies only grow stronger the more they encourage sterility and physically destructive sexual behaviors. That never brings about cultural collapse. So don’t feel an ounce of dread when you look at those Christian parents filling their 12-passenger van with their Christian children.
— end excerpts —

According to the end credits under that essay on The Federalist the author is…

Hans Fiene is a contributor to The Federalist. He is a Lutheran pastor in Missouri and the creator of Lutheran Satire, a series of comical videos intended to teach the Lutheran faith. Follow him on Twitter, @HansFiene
— end —

The Anti-Singles, Anti-Childless Pastor

Yikes. No. No, no, no, no.

To the Lutheran pastor who wrote this piece:
Your own Lord and Savior (Link): never married or had children, and yet His teachings and deeds were not forgotten.

Jesus of Nazareth’s world views were passed down by his spiritual children, initially by word of mouth, and then, in writing.

American Public School Teachers Seeking Validation For Their Sexuality From Students, Propagandizing LGBT Sexuality – Students Don’t Need To Know Your Sexuality or About Your Romantic Life, or if You Have One

American Public School Teachers Seeking Validation For Their Sexuality From Students, Propagandizing LGBT Sexuality – Students Don’t Need To Know Your Sexuality or About Your Romantic Life, or if You Have One

A lot of progressive American school teachers (and I guess some European ones, if British reporting is accurate) feel this intense need to brainwash their young students (and I’m talking including pre-junior high age children) into agreeing with, accepting, and celebrating LGBT sexuality or causes.

Adults should not be relying on children for validation, for whatever reason.
(Actually, it’s not entirely healthy for adults to continually rely on other adults for validation, but that’s another topic for another day.)

There is a non-stop list daily to weekly of these progressive school teacher freaks being reported in my social media who are cramming their progressive LGBT garbage down the throats of their students. This needs to stop.

These teachers need to realize their job is to teach the fundamentals to children, such as reading and writing, not telling them about their LGBT lifestyles, or discussing their dating or sex lives, or their sexuality preferences.

There was a video of a teacher posted to social media the other day about a LGBT teacher who said her kindergarten (or was it first grade? They were quite young) students who cheered for her when she announced to them that she is LGBT, and she said their acceptance made her happy, and she seemed to tear up in this video as she recounted this.

This is wackadoodle, disgusting, and unhealthy for several reasons. One of which is, you’re a freaking adult trying to get affirmation from CHILDREN.

Do not look to children to receive affirmation for yourself, your lifestyle, or your choices in life.

Secondly, she is their teacher. It’s not her place to use other people’s children to look for affirmation (or her own, if she has any – that would be what is called “parentifying” the child).

That LGBT teacher (or whatever other type of teacher) is there to teach the students the alphabet, or how to count to ten, and not to have them applaud being a lesbian or pan-sexual, or whatever the hell she identifies as.

There was a video recently where a male grade school (or kindergarten?) teacher was lamenting that under Florida’s new parental rights bill that he may no longer be allowed to tell his students about the kayaking trips he takes with his male partner in the summers, and he seemed upset by this.

FFS, dude, your students don’t need to know about your home life, your dating life, your marriage – you are there to teach them mathematics or reading. (They don’t even to know that one of your hobbies in your personal life is kayaking.)

Also, from my understanding of the Florida parental rights bill, I’m going to guess that it wouldn’t take issue with a gay teacher mentioning off hand to his class that he went kayaking with his male partner on vacation,
but again, this begs the question, as why would you find it necessary, whether homosexual or hetero, to tell your students about your vacation with your partner?

There’s no reason to mention it.

If you feel you absolutely must, you could mention you went kayaking if you feel the need to but not mention that you went with a romantic partner.

I’m a hetero, celibate adult (and I blog about celibacy on a regular basis on this blog), but if I taught a class, I would not bring those facts up. Those facts would not be pertinent to whatever class I am teaching, whether reading, mathematics, music, or art, especially for younger students.

There are so many of these examples being shared on social media, I cannot keep up with them all.

What you see below is just a small sampling.

This may be a post I come back to in the future to add more examples to. It never ends. (Or, I may do a Part Two – another new, separate blog post.)

(Link): Arizona Department of Education Invites 10-Year-Olds to Talk With Strangers Online About Their Sexual Identities 

May 24, 2022
by Alex Parker

Arizona is making sure its children understand their options.

Toward that end, the state’s Department of Education points 10-year-olds to chatrooms to discuss their sexual identities with unknown pre-teens, teens, and adults — facilitated by “trained volunteers.”

(Link): Freak of the Week: Another Woke Teacher Abandons His Subject to Talk to 5th Graders About Being Gay

BY MEGAN FOX APR 04, 2022 2:17 PM ET
Share

The number of teachers posting crazy crap on Tik Tok about what they do during class time when they should be teaching students is so numerous that a weekly segment might be necessary to keep up. This newest member of the “I have to tell little children I’m gay or I’ll cease to exist” club is “Mr. E.”

I spent way more time than I wanted to on Mr. E’s channel on Tik Tok trying to identify the school in which he works. Unfortunately, the name of the school was not visible in any of the hundreds of videos he’s made inside his alleged classroom.

Mr. E says he teaches fifth grade. Libs of Tik Tok found a video of Mr. E claiming to have “come out” to his students about being gay. It appears that he has deleted this video from his Tik Tok.

“I ended up telling my students that I was gay,” he said. “How it came up is one of the students [said] ‘My mom thinks you’re gay because of your voice.”

This would have been the perfect moment for Mr. E to tell that student, “Gossiping about teachers at home is unkind and that’s none of your or your mom’s business.”

Three Reasons Women’s Ministries Might Want to Focus Less on Marriage and Motherhood

Three Reasons Women’s Ministries Might Want to Focus Less on Marriage and Motherhood

I’ve been saying many of the same things on this blog for the last several years that this 2022 essay says.

Churches, especially gender complementarian ones – and not just in women’s ministries, but overall, in every facet of a church – make single / childless / childfree women feel ignored or unwanted, except for those Christians who patronizingly behave like the only use for a single, childless woman is to babysit the children of the married couples.

Reminder to Christians: more adults are not marrying these days – at all. Some may marry, but not until their 30s, 40s or older. Many (even if they do marry) are choosing to forgo children.

When churches focus on marriage and motherhood to the extent they do, they also send a message that being married and a parent is necessary for sanctification or relationship with God, which is false.

A person does not need to marry or have children to be sanctified, know God, or to be mature, ethical, godly, loving, or responsible.

(Link): Three Reasons Women’s Ministries Might Want to Focus Less on Marriage and Motherhood

Excerpts:

March 25, 2022
by Rachel Baker

Women’s ministries are often the home to every category of woman: Single, married, mother, widow, and so forth. As a Women’s Ministry Director, I both attend a women’s small group and organize the women’s ministry meetings at my local church.

In my small group alone there is a vast array of women, each in different categories, some are empty nesters, some are starting families, some are intentionally single, while others are single with the hope of being in a relationship in the future.

We cover the gamut, so why is it that women’s ministries’ regularly cast their focus on the married mother?

Don’t get me wrong, as a married mother I have absolutely benefited from Bible study curriculum and content focused on marriage and motherhood, however it should go without saying that these types of studies do not represent all women.

If you are in a position at your local church in women’s ministry or as a small group leader here are a few reasons why you might want to steer your Bible study content away from marriage and motherhood:

Studies Solely Based on Marriage and Motherhood Can Feel Exclusive

As a young married woman and then young mother I desperately needed support and connection and resources to help me feel a little less alone in that particular season of my life.

Marriage ministries and parenting ministries absolutely have a place within the church; they are absolutely needed.

However, when our larger-scale ministries such as women’s ministry or small group ministry only focus on young-married or motherhood we can miss out on the richness that comes from a group of women of all life-stages and relationship status.

It Goes In Cycles: Push For “Early Marriage” Makes the Rounds AGAIN Lately, Because of Marriage-Idolater, Singleness Shaming Brad Wilcox (Feb 2022)

It Goes In Cycles: Push For “Early Marriage” Makes the Rounds AGAIN Lately, Because of Marriage-Idolater, Singleness Shaming Brad Wilcox (Feb 2022)

Late night talk show host Johnny Carson used to have this joke that there’s only one fruit cake in the United States, nobody wants it, so they pack it up and mail it to another family the next Christmas; it’s the same fruit cake, in endless circulation.

I was reminded of that Johnny Carson anecdote when this odious Brad Wilcox penned piece on early marriage popped up a couple of months ago, was picked up by Wall Street Journal, then made its way ’round conservative Twitter.

As I said in older posts about conservative dating books aimed at women, like here or here, (where women are told, “You’re still single because you’re not Codependent enough! Stop following liberal, feminist advice, and ditch the self confidence and boundaries, and start acting like a Door Mat again, because MEN ARE ATTRACTED TO DOORMATS, being a doormat is feminine!”), topics like that one runs in cycles.

Every few years, you can count on conservative women releasing new “anti-feminist” dating advice books chock full of codependency marketed as being a sure-fire way of getting a husband, and you can also count on conservatives every so often, either releasing “pro early marriage” books and articles, or, with every news release of birth rates falling, or declining marriage rates on the increase, more of their fear mongering, anti-singleness articles.

So this newest crop of conservative sites eagerly repeating this latest Wilcox “Get married really young!” propaganda is no surprise.

I am going to guess that is what happened, that Brad Wilcox, of National Marriage Project, released an initial commentary, or one of his wonky “studies,” and then, other Christian, marriage-worshipping outlets (such as “Christianity Today” magazine) pick up on it and run with it, so pretty soon, for about a week, you start seeing all these “Benefits of marrying young!” headlines sprouting up all over your Twitter feed.

It’s so barfy.

It’s not just online magazines and newspapers publishing these “pro early marriage” editorials, but your Christian “nobodies,” (some of whom work as preachers), who tend to lean “complementarian,” have been tweeting about the topic, and shaming single women into marrying and marrying young.

They show no regard for 1 Corinthians 7, which states it’s better to remain single than to marry, nor do they seem to recall that Jesus, the founder of their faith, never married and never had (biological) children, nor do they show regard for the quotes by Jesus which presented “spiritual” family to be on par with, or more important than, biological family (see those towards the end of this post).

I will see if I can round up some of the tweets, articles I’ve seen lately about this and put them in this post.

This entire situation is just so bizarre, for several reasons.

In earlier commentary, I’ve seen some of these marriage-pushers seemingly upset by news reports that more and more young people (and some older adults) are NOT having sex prior to marriage any longer!

Conservatives, whether secular or religious, used to respect and defend the concept of remaining a virgin until marriage, but no more.

Here’s a rough time line, as it seems to me, of the conservative abandonment of defending sexual purity:

In the last 15 or so years, the Christian conservatives gave in, recognized that a lot of singles are having pre-marital sex, so they quietly accepted it, so they began to writing all these noxious, “well, that’s OK, God will forgive you of fornicating!” articles,
to when the progressive Christian women on Twitter started bitching a few years back about how horrible they found “purity culture,” Christian pastors and authors moved on to actually appease them by  downplaying the importance of virginity and celibacy (see, for example, Tim “We’re All Virgins Now” Challies), to lately, they’ve even been out right expressing sadness or frustration that single Christian women don’t want to knowingly marry a porn addicted Christian man to sadness or upset that adults aren’t having sex prior to marriage as much any more.

It’s also weird how these obscenely pro-marriage conservatives and Christians will grasp on to any little, tiny sliver of where they perceive pro-marriage points to be made and then hammer people over the head with them.

For example, in this latest “study,” Wilcox and others of his ilk grabbed tightly on to some study finding that people who marry young but who DO NOT cohabitate first are likely to stay married longer and not divorce.

So… out they trot these breathless think pieces stating,

“Hey, look, young ‘uns who marry young but who don’t live together prior to marriage stay married longer! So do it, young people, do it – get married now, now, now, now! Just don’t share an apartment together first!!!”

A conservative lady on Twitter,  Allie Beth Stuckey (tweet link), said in regards to this report:

My favorite thing is when researchers “discover” things the Bible has been saying for thousands of years
— end quote —

I do think the Bible teaches that pre-marital sex is sinful, but no where does the Bible imply or suggest that it’s a command of God for all people to marry and at what age if they do.

I have more commentary way below all the links and excerpts below, so please read on (or at least scroll towards the bottom, thanks).

I think this is the piece that got excitedly commented upon by all the marriage-worshipping conservatives that started it all; published Feb. 5, 2022 (note the authors):

(Link): Too Risky to Wed in Your 20s? Not if You Avoid Cohabiting First

Research shows that marrying young without ever having lived together with a partner makes for some of the lowest divorce rates
By Brad Wilcox and Lyman Stone

(Link – Not The Bee site):  SHOCKING: Experts discover a secret to marital happiness that’s only been known to anyone in history who ever read the Bible (Re: Wilcox Article About Marrying Young)

(Link – Christianity Today magazine):  Research: Religious Americans Less Likely to Divorce

Recent data suggests that faithful young adults can marry in their 20s without increasing the risk of separation.
by LYMAN STONE AND BRAD WILCOX | DECEMBER 14, 2021 

This Stonestreet guy is also at BreakPoint. He’s written some pieces I disagree with before, such as this one. He wrote another one which I kind of agreed with, I guess, that one is here.

(Link): Marry Early, but Don’t Live Together First by John Stonestreet and Kasey Leander – article originally published at BreakPoint

Feb 23, 2022
By John Stonestreet and Kasey Leander

New data is poking holes in what’s become a prominent cultural myth. “When it comes to divorce,” write Brad Wilcox and Lyman Stone in The Wall Street Journal, “the research has generally backed up the belief that it’s best to wait until around 30 to tie the knot.” This is because the divorce rate is generally lower for those who wait to wed.

Interview with the Authors of The Great Sex Rescue (book discusses erroneous, sexist Christian views about women and how this hinders sex – among other issues)

Interview with the Authors of The Great Sex Rescue (book discusses erroneous, sexist Christian views about women and how this hinders sex – among other issues)

I’ve read quite a bit about this “Sex Rescue” book, and it covers a lot of the topics I’ve been covering on this blog literally for years now.

Christians – especially the gender complementarians – operate under a faulty assumption that only men like and want sex, while women do not – so most of their sex lectures and sex material gives all sorts of sexist, awful advice, or tells Christians that women only have “emotional needs,” while women’s sexual preferences are never raised. 

Every pastor I’ve ever heard sermonize about the topic just tells men to occasionally cater to their wife’s emotional needs, but they don’t bring up what a woman may want sexually.

The Christian assumption is that all men are sex-crazed horn dogs, and the wives are obligated to have sex with their spouses, even if they are sick or not in the mood, etc.

I’ve discussed all that on this blog for years (and more), and this book apparently also discusses such issues.

(Link): Interview with the Authors of The Great Sex Rescue

Excerpts:

by Rachel Joy Welcher
June 3, 2021

The Great Sex Rescue sets out to correct harmful and unbiblical teachings on sex and marriage—specifically those messages perpetuated by the evangelical church and popular Christian books.

Not only that, it presents a way forward for couples who have suffered from these messages; a path that is guided by scripture and selfless love. 

…Sheila Wray Gregoire, along with her daughter, author and psychology graduate, Rebecca Gregoire Lindenbach, and epidemiologist and statistician, Joanna Sawatsky, bravely tackle these harmful teachings, with a high view of marriage, God’s plan for sex, and for scripture.

You may not agree with every conclusion or piece of advice, but this is a resource we need as we continue to deconstruct unbiblical teachings on sex, purity, and marriage. 

Welcher: It is clear from your writings that you care about female sexual flourishing; that you don’t want women left behind in marriage.
In The Great Sex Rescue, you cite example after example from popular Christian books where male sexual pleasure in marriage is prioritized and women are discussed merely as vehicles to accomplish this, rather than as equal sexual partners.
Why do you think the mutuality of sexual self-giving in marriage in 1 Corinthians 7:4–5 has largely been ignored in Christian writings and teachings on marriage?
Were you able to trace this idea to a specific book, era, or misinterpretation of the passage?

Gregoire: Let’s talk numbers: women buy the books, and men don’t. I’ve read that 74% of nonfiction relationship books are bought and read by women.
Why don’t men buy these books? Men often don’t feel the same societal pressure to fix relationships, while men are also discouraged from thinking about their feelings very much.

Debunking Eros: Why Romantic Love Isn’t the Only Love Worth Having by Mimi Haddard

Debunking Eros: Why Romantic Love Isn’t the Only Love Worth Having by Mimi Haddard

This raises several points I’ve been pointing out here on this blog for years:

(Link): Debunking Eros: Why Romantic Love Isn’t the Only Love Worth Having

Excerpts:

by Mimi Haddard
June 4, 2019

Recently, my graduate students discussed how US culture sometimes idolizes sex. Citing a friend, one said, “the orgasm has replaced the cross as the place of transcendence in 21st century American culture.”

A recent study suggested that, though casual sex is more accepted than ever, loneliness is too.

 Twenty-seven percent of Americans feel isolated, but loneliness is far worse among eighteen to twenty-two year-olds, followed by Millennials. The least lonely were Americans aged seventy-two and older—those having fewer sexual encounters.

Western culture often celebrates eros (romantic or sexual love) exclusively, but Scripture speaks of four distinct types of love: storge (love for those who are familiar, such as family, neighbors, coworkers, etc.), agape (God’s love), philia (love between kindred spirits), and eros.

Marriage-Pushing Zealot Wilcox Suggests that Being Single is Immoral: National Review Article

Marriage-Pushing Zealot Wilcox Suggests that Being Single is Immoral: National Review Article

I’ve written about Wilcox many times before. Wilcox is obsessed with marriage and advocating for it, and in the process, he enjoys insulting singleness and adult singles, although the Bible states in 1 Corinthians 7 it is better to remain single than to marry, and of course, as we all know, Jesus of Nazareth, who is highly regarded by many, never married.

Jesus remained single and celibate and never formed his own “nuclear family,” because he was more concerned with establishing a spiritual family, and he taught his followers to be just as, if not, (Link): more concerned with spiritual family than with biological family.

But marriage-idolaters and singles-shamers, such as Wilcox and Al Mohler, continue to promote marriage far too much, and they tend to do so consistently at the detriment of singles.

Allow me to first provide a few excerpts from the National Review piece by Wilcox, then I will explain the flaws with some of the points below the excerpt:

(Link):  Private Schools Outpace Public Schools in Putting Kids on the Path to Marriage

Excerpts:

By W. BRADFORD WILCOX , PATRICK WOLF & PEYTON ROTH
Sept 2020

There’s more to a quality education than academics; good schools give students a healthy moral environment that appears to shape their future family life.

… Different kinds of schools, with different moral ecologies, set our children up for success or failure in areas of life outside of the classroom. Chief among these is family life.

We know that men and women who forge strong and stable marriages are generally happier, healthier, and more prosperous. [Note from blog owner: this is a repeated but false claim across marriage-hyping articles; please see (Link): this post for refutations]

What You Lose When You Gain a Spouse – What if marriage is not the social good that so many believe and want it to be? by M. Catron

What You Lose When You Gain a Spouse

What if marriage is not the social good that so many believe and want it to be? by M. Catron

This is similar to a study that came out a few years ago that I blogged about, where researches dubbed marriages “Greedy Marriages,” because when people get married, they tend to turn inwards and ignore neighbors and family members (single adults generally do not do this, according to the study).

(Link): What You Lose When You Gain a Spouse

Excerpts:

July 2019

In America today, it’s easy to believe that marriage is a social good—that our lives and our communities are better when more people get and stay married.

There have, of course, been massive changes to the institution over the past few generations, leading the occasional cultural critic to ask: Is marriage becoming obsolete? But few of these people seem genuinely interested in the answer.

More often the question functions as a kind of rhetorical sleight of hand, a way of stirring up moral panic about changing family values or speculating about whether society has become too cynical for love.

In popular culture, the sentiment still prevails that marriage makes us happy and divorce leaves us lonely, and that never getting married at all is a fundamental failure of belonging.

But speculation about whether or not marriage is obsolete overlooks a more important question: What is lost by making marriage the most central relationship in a culture?