Marriage Rates Are Plummeting. Why Are Reality Dating Series So Popular?

Marriage Rates Are Plummeting. Why Are Reality Dating Series So Popular?

(Link): Marriage Rates Are Plummeting. Why Are Reality Dating Series So Popular?

Why the dating-and-marriage storyline still appeals so much to audiences who are increasingly opting out of the tradition.

by Joanna Weiss

Follow conservative punditry over the past few years, and you might think America is becoming a nation of unrepentant singles.

Last July, Ohio Senate candidate J.D. Vance warned a conservative think tank about a “civilizational crisis,” marked by declining marriage and birth rates, and promoted by the “childless left.”

 Census data that shows low marriage rates among millennials and Gen Z-ers — only 29 percent of 18-to-34-year-olds were married in 2018, compared to 59 percent in 1978 — begets headlines bemoaning a “marriage crisis” or predicting “the end of marriage in America.”

But if the dream of marriage is dead, you wouldn’t know it from the trailer for the upcoming season of ABC’s “The Bachelorette.” The three-minute video, released last week, features a single schoolteacher named Michelle Young, a herd of healthy male suitors vying for her hand and a shimmering word cloud of courtship cliches:
“I’m looking for my soulmate.” “You give me goosebumps.” “When I’m with him, I feel fireworks.” Young declares that “I’m ready to fall in love,” and she wants more than just romance. “Miss Young,” one of her students says, “is looking for a husband.”

Continue reading “Marriage Rates Are Plummeting. Why Are Reality Dating Series So Popular?”

Russian ‘Sex Coach’ Was Repeatedly Stabbed in the Head by Her ‘Jealous’ Husband

Russian ‘Sex Coach’ Was Repeatedly Stabbed in the Head by Her ‘Jealous’ Husband

As I was saying on Twitter, the older I get, and I continue to see such news stories as the one in this post, the happier I feel to be single and celibate.

I cannot believe as I grew up that the evangelical / Baptist / Protestant culture brainwashed everyone to think that being single is “second best” and being chaste over the age of 25 was “impossible” or somehow “not worth it.”

I see so many people who, as teens or adults, are not happy from having sex outside of marriage, or they get married, and they have a sexless marriage, or their spouse abuses them.

You’re ultimately not going to find healing and hope in another person (i.e., a spouse).

This news story should be another sign to Christians who keep peddling false notions about singleness, dating, sex, and marriage that sexual purity is not for singles only.

You have married people out there who think it’s acceptable to work as “sex coaches,” or open their own “only fans” accounts, or to “wife swap” (see links under “Related” below for examples).

Churches need to remind MARRIED people that sexual purity is for them as well. It’s not single adults that are falling into sexual temptations left and right, it’s married couples who are.

I don’t approve of this married woman’s “sex coach” occupation, but no, I sure don’t defend the husband stabbing her to death over it, or for whatever reasons he had.

Note that these are two married people who had a couple of children together. The pro-marriage and pro-have-children Christians and conservatives are wrong to teach (as they do) that getting married and having children will always (or even usually) make people more godly, loving, mature and ethical.

I have many more examples on my blog here that demonstrate that marriage and/or parenthood do NOT make people more ethical, responsible, godly, loving, mature, etc.

(Link): Russian ‘sex coach’ was repeatedly stabbed in the head by her ‘jealous’ husband

Excerpts:

by Will Stewart
Sept 22, 2021

A Russian ‘psychologist and sex coach’ was repeatedly stabbed in the head by her husband who then threw her body from a 130ft-high building.

Rustam Mursalov, 24, confessed to killing his wife Alexandra Mursalova, 25, out of ‘jealousy’, according to reports.

Mursalova, who had two children with personal trainer Mursalov, worked with wealthy clients in St Petersburg.

Continue reading “Russian ‘Sex Coach’ Was Repeatedly Stabbed in the Head by Her ‘Jealous’ Husband”

Wife Hospitalized with Covid Comes Home to Find Husband Dead from Virus

Wife Hospitalized with Covid Comes Home to Find Husband Dead from Virus

This poor lady. Condolences to her.

One reason I am posting this is to highlight that there are no guarantees in life – getting married is not some kind of magic spell that will make you immune to heartache or loneliness.

I’ve seen marriage-pushing conservatives, both secular and Christian, promote marriage by creating podcasts or blog posts trying to “scare” single adult into getting married by saying things like “If you don’t marry, you’ll die alone!”

After Covid became a thing, marriage-idolater Brad Wilcox, of the National Marriage Project and Institute for Family Studies, began publishing anti-singles hit pieces, saying how married people were doing better in the pandemic (no, they are not. See links at the end of this post).

You can get married but still end up alone – for one, if your spouse dies from Covid.

If the virus were a sentient being, it wouldn’t pause when it comes to you and think, “Well, I’m not going to get into this person’s respiratory system, because they’re married!”

You can be married all live long day and still end up dying – or your spouse could die before you do, leaving you single once more.

Time for Christians to stop marketing marriage as some kind of cure-all for everything that could ail a person.

(Link): Wife Hospitalized with Covid Comes Home to Find Husband Dead from Virus

by Jackie Salo
August 26, 2021

A Florida woman says she returned home from battling COVID-19 in the hospital to a “nightmare” scene with her husband dead after also contracting the virus.

Lisa Steadman, 58, said she was horrified to walk in Wednesday to discover her 55-year-old husband Ron’s body in the bedroom of their home in Winter Haven, Fox13 News reported.

Continue reading “Wife Hospitalized with Covid Comes Home to Find Husband Dead from Virus”

Interview with the Authors of The Great Sex Rescue (book discusses erroneous, sexist Christian views about women and how this hinders sex – among other issues)

Interview with the Authors of The Great Sex Rescue (book discusses erroneous, sexist Christian views about women and how this hinders sex – among other issues)

I’ve read quite a bit about this “Sex Rescue” book, and it covers a lot of the topics I’ve been covering on this blog literally for years now.

Christians – especially the gender complementarians – operate under a faulty assumption that only men like and want sex, while women do not – so most of their sex lectures and sex material gives all sorts of sexist, awful advice, or tells Christians that women only have “emotional needs,” while women’s sexual preferences are never raised. 

Every pastor I’ve ever heard sermonize about the topic just tells men to occasionally cater to their wife’s emotional needs, but they don’t bring up what a woman may want sexually.

The Christian assumption is that all men are sex-crazed horn dogs, and the wives are obligated to have sex with their spouses, even if they are sick or not in the mood, etc.

I’ve discussed all that on this blog for years (and more), and this book apparently also discusses such issues.

(Link): Interview with the Authors of The Great Sex Rescue

Excerpts:

by Rachel Joy Welcher
June 3, 2021

The Great Sex Rescue sets out to correct harmful and unbiblical teachings on sex and marriage—specifically those messages perpetuated by the evangelical church and popular Christian books.

Not only that, it presents a way forward for couples who have suffered from these messages; a path that is guided by scripture and selfless love. 

…Sheila Wray Gregoire, along with her daughter, author and psychology graduate, Rebecca Gregoire Lindenbach, and epidemiologist and statistician, Joanna Sawatsky, bravely tackle these harmful teachings, with a high view of marriage, God’s plan for sex, and for scripture.

You may not agree with every conclusion or piece of advice, but this is a resource we need as we continue to deconstruct unbiblical teachings on sex, purity, and marriage. 

Welcher: It is clear from your writings that you care about female sexual flourishing; that you don’t want women left behind in marriage.
In The Great Sex Rescue, you cite example after example from popular Christian books where male sexual pleasure in marriage is prioritized and women are discussed merely as vehicles to accomplish this, rather than as equal sexual partners.
Why do you think the mutuality of sexual self-giving in marriage in 1 Corinthians 7:4–5 has largely been ignored in Christian writings and teachings on marriage?
Were you able to trace this idea to a specific book, era, or misinterpretation of the passage?

Gregoire: Let’s talk numbers: women buy the books, and men don’t. I’ve read that 74% of nonfiction relationship books are bought and read by women.
Why don’t men buy these books? Men often don’t feel the same societal pressure to fix relationships, while men are also discouraged from thinking about their feelings very much. Continue reading “Interview with the Authors of The Great Sex Rescue (book discusses erroneous, sexist Christian views about women and how this hinders sex – among other issues)”

Debunking Eros: Why Romantic Love Isn’t the Only Love Worth Having by Mimi Haddard

Debunking Eros: Why Romantic Love Isn’t the Only Love Worth Having by Mimi Haddard

This raises several points I’ve been pointing out here on this blog for years:

(Link): Debunking Eros: Why Romantic Love Isn’t the Only Love Worth Having

Excerpts:

by Mimi Haddard
June 4, 2019

Recently, my graduate students discussed how US culture sometimes idolizes sex. Citing a friend, one said, “the orgasm has replaced the cross as the place of transcendence in 21st century American culture.”

A recent study suggested that, though casual sex is more accepted than ever, loneliness is too.

 Twenty-seven percent of Americans feel isolated, but loneliness is far worse among eighteen to twenty-two year-olds, followed by Millennials. The least lonely were Americans aged seventy-two and older—those having fewer sexual encounters.

Western culture often celebrates eros (romantic or sexual love) exclusively, but Scripture speaks of four distinct types of love: storge (love for those who are familiar, such as family, neighbors, coworkers, etc.), agape (God’s love), philia (love between kindred spirits), and eros.

Continue reading “Debunking Eros: Why Romantic Love Isn’t the Only Love Worth Having by Mimi Haddard”

Joy Pullman at The Federalist is At It Again: This Time, She’s Promoting ‘Bedroom Evangelism,’ Which is Not Biblical

Joy Pullman at The Federalist is At It Again: This Time, She’s Promoting ‘Bedroom Evangelism,’ Which is Not Biblical

As a moderately conservative individual, I agree with much of the content published at The Federalist, but certainly not all. This is one of those times when no, I don’t agree.

The name Joy Pullman looked familiar to me, and sure enough, a few years ago, I did a post or two criticizing (Link): one of her other articles.

This time, I am disagreeing with this following piece at The Federalist by Joy Pullman;
I will put some excerpts in, and below that, discuss where my areas of disagreement are
(and it’s a super long excerpt – my comments will be way, way below):

(Link): Christianity’s Growth Problem Isn’t Politics, It’s Our Failure To Have And Evangelize Children

Like just about every other Western Christian body, as well as the United States, the SBC is left to squabble over shrinking slices of a dwindling pie.

by Joy Pullman

The New York Times put out a lengthy preview of the Southern Baptist Convention’s top controversies heading into their annual meeting this week in Nashville, Tenn. Members of the nation’s largest evangelical denomination are weighing the future of their religious body amid numerous theological controversies.

Decline Stems From No Babies, Not Being Too Trumpy
The Times reports that one of the SBC’s concerns is “15-year decline” in members, both through potential theological schisms intertwined with politics, such as critical race theory, and through an aging and thus declining membership.

….While the Times makes much of contrasting the SBC’s political conservatism with its forecast of demographically decisive American leftism, it doesn’t note that the SBC’s decline is directly related to following broader American culture, instead of Christian beliefs, on a keystone of institutional vibrancy: fertility.

Continue reading “Joy Pullman at The Federalist is At It Again: This Time, She’s Promoting ‘Bedroom Evangelism,’ Which is Not Biblical”

Mark Driscoll Paid for Honeymoon with Church Funds

Mark Driscoll Paid for Honeymoon with Church Funds

Dear Al Mohler and other marriage-obsessed weenies who keep insulting the state of singleness to promote marriage:

Here’s another example of how being a married person did not make that person more ethical, mature, giving, or godly than someone who is single.

Does doofus Mark Driscoll ever pay off rent or groceries or whatever for single adults, one wonders?

Not that it would be okay to mis-use church funds on that, either.

(Link): Mark Driscoll Paid for Honeymoon with Church Funds; Uses Gift Cards to Pay Interns, Former Members Say

by Julie Roys

….When Pastor Mark Driscoll told Joey Manuele and his fiancée at a staff Christmas party that he’d pay for their honeymoon, Joey Manuele was stunned.

…A couple weeks later, the Manueles received a check for the full amount. But to their surprise, the check wasn’t from Driscoll, but from The Trinity Church.

“I was like, ‘Wait! He never said it was coming from the church!’” Joey Manuele said. “(Driscoll) said ‘me, me,’ like ‘I’m going to give it to you. I want to do this for you.’ And then we get a check from the church . . . So that was a shock.”

…Joey Manuele added that the honeymoon stay wasn’t the only unsolicited gift Driscoll gave him and his wife.

…Manuele, whose entire family was recently kicked out of the church, said he now suspects the gifts were intended to buy his loyalty.
— end article —

In light of news stories like this, and other, similar ones I’ve posted before about married people, including self professing Christians, who behave as un-ethical weasels to out right scum buckets,
I never, ever want Al Mohler or Bradford or other marriage and nuclear family promoters pushing marriage or parenthood by arguing that parenthood and marriage makes people more mature, godly, responsible, ethical, etc, when clearly, that is NOT the case.


Related Posts:

(Link): Placing One’s Marriage Ahead of The Church – Preacher (i.e., Mark Driscoll) Used Prioritizing and Rebuilding His Marriage as Rationale for Bullying His Church Members

(Link): More Anti-Singleness Bias From Southern Baptist Al Mohler – Despite the Bible Says It Is Better Not To Marry

(Link): The Dear Driscoll Site – Re: Mark Driscoll – Christians: Stop Supporting Driscoll, any church Driscoll runs, and Stop Supporting Guys Like Him!

(Link): Preacher Mark Driscoll Basically Says No, Single Christian Males Cannot or Should Not Serve as Preachers / in Leadership Positions – Attempts to Justify Unbiblical, Anti Singleness Christian Bias

(Link): Adult Singleness and Virginity Ridiculed by Preacher Mark Driscoll from 2000 – and anti Homosexual and Sexist Rhetoric ( Re Driscoll Rant known as Pussified Nation )

(Link): Pervy Preacher from Seattle who teaches men “to objectify women, by his over emphasis of sexualization of women and subservience” (Re Driscoll)

Church Director, Seminary Student Set to Wed in November Arrested for Child Pornography

Church Director, Seminary Student Set to Wed in November Arrested for Child Pornography

No, the “equally yoked” rule so many Christians like to cram down the throats of singles is of no import – another example further below in this post.

There are a lot of men out there, who appear to be genuine Christians (whether they are actually Christian or not is immaterial to single Christian women who find them on dating sites and so on), who are actually great big perverts.

It would be better for a single Christian woman who desires marriage to marry a loving, non-perverted atheist (or Hindu or Druid or whatever)
than to marry an abusive or perverted man who believes in, and who confesses, Jesus as his savior, and who regularly attends church and does all the other things that appear to be the marks of an actual Christian to most other believers.

Disclaimer for the annoying female Christians who like to bray on my blog when I mention all this:
“But what about all the bad atheist men out there??!! Don’t tell me that all non-Christian men are wonderful!”

I am well aware of the fact that Non-Christian men can be pigs and horrible, too.

My view does not have to contain the premise that ALL atheists and other flavors of Non-Christians are angelic and marriage-material. That is not my belief nor my point.

My point is that one limiting one’s self to any one group of men based on religious criteria (whether Mormon only, Christian only, atheist only, ‘whatever’ only) is needlessly limiting one’s dating pool.

Let this also be a lesson that contra to what so many Christians teach about dating and marriage, that one does not have to be perfect in any way to “deserve” a spouse, or to be “worthy” of a spouse.

If God is permitting deviants like the sicko in the news story below to become engaged to be married – a nasty ass pedophile of all things! – there’s absolutely no reason to adhere to a false theology that God has special, stricter rules for “permitting” a non-pedophile adult single to become engaged.

I mean, please! As though God is more lax and forgiving towards a child- diddler than a normal person? Get bent.

But so much of the Christian dating advice, the “how to get married” advice I saw and heard from Christians (in person or read in books or on blogs) is predicated on this faulty type of thinking.

There are a lot of hurtful, false, and stupid things Christians teach and believe about singleness, dating, and marriage.

(Link): NOBTS student dismissed after arrest on child pornography charges

NEW ORLEANS (BP) – A student at New Orleans Baptist Theological Seminary (NOBTS) was arrested today (May 13) on child pornography charges. Andrew Shiira was being held at the Orleans Parish Prison on 10 counts of pornography involving juveniles.

(Link): Church Director, Seminary Student Set to Wed in November Arrested for Child Pornography

by L. Blair,
May 2021

Andrew Shiira, once the director of worship planning at Lake Shore Church, was getting ready to graduate from New Orleans Baptist Theological Seminary on Saturday.

A few months later in November, he was expected to move on to wedded bliss with his fiancée, but his life was upended Thursday when he was arrested on 10 counts of child pornography.

Continue reading “Church Director, Seminary Student Set to Wed in November Arrested for Child Pornography”

Thoughts Regarding ‘Crisis in the Christian Church: A Lack of Young, Single Men’ Essay by S. Green

Thoughts Regarding ‘Crisis in the Christian Church: A Lack of Young, Single Men’ Essay by S. Green

I will excerpt this essay from The Christian Post, which was published about a month ago, then offer my thoughts.

I will start out by saying it’s not just a lack of YOUNG men in the church, but a lack of single men of ANY age at churches that is a problem for any Christian single woman who expected to be able to find a marital partner at a church.

I remain single past my 30s and 40s. I had wanted to be married, I was taught by Christian culture and my parents that if I was just a good Christian person, prayed, and trusted in God, that I would be “sent” a Christian spouse, and that I could likely expect to meet this spouse, whoever he was, at a church.

So, over the years, in my 20s and older, I would pop into the occasional church every so often. However, any time I attended,  there were never any single men of my age, once I got into my mid or late 20s, my 30s, and my 40s.

It’s not just women in their 20s who’d like to marry, it’s women in their 30s and on up age-wise who’d like to marry. Why oh why do Christians always ignore them? It’s not fair or okay.

Never, ever focus solely on 20-something singles.

With that, here is the article – below the article, I will offer my observations:

(Link): Crisis in the Christian Church: A lack of young, single men

Excerpts:

By Solomon Green, March 4, 2021

….Churches are increasingly becoming a (Link): very unpopular [PDF document] place to meet a future wife or husband since the 1940s. The truth is, Christian Culture is dying.

…new families cannot be formed when there is a barrier of severe gender imbalance.  According to (Link): Lyman Stone’s study, a typical Sunday service has 71 eligible men to 100 eligible women.

This is an enormous problem within the Body of Christ that isn’t getting any better or going to fix itself.

New men aren’t just going to walk into churches. So how do churches fix this? Well, here are three steps to help solve the problem.

Step One: Have more Sunday sermons focused on careers, sex, and marriage. These topics are of great importance, yet are hardly covered from the pulpit …

Continue reading “Thoughts Regarding ‘Crisis in the Christian Church: A Lack of Young, Single Men’ Essay by S. Green”

Marriage & Divorce Amid Pandemic: Couples’ Challenges Abound by D. Crary

Marriage & Divorce Amid Pandemic: Couples’ Challenges Abound by D. Crary

At points, this article unfortunately quotes the odious Bradford Wilcox. Other than that, it seems to be an okay article. (I have tried to omit any quotes by Wilcox in my excerpts below.)

(Link): Marriage & Divorce Amid Pandemic: Couples’ Challenges Abound

Excerpts:

by David Crary
Feb 14, 2021

For many U.S. couples yearning to be married, the pandemic has wreaked havoc on their wedding plans while bolstering their teamwork and resilience. For couples already married, it has posed a host of new tests, bringing some closer, pulling others apart.

Spending more time together — a common result of lockdowns, furloughs and layoffs — has been a blessing for some couples who gain greater appreciation of one another.

For other spouses, deprived of opportunities for individual pursuits, the increased time together “may seem more like a house arrest than a fantasy,” suggested Steve Harris, a professor of marriage and family therapy at the University of Minnesota and associate director of a marriage counseling project, Minnesota Couples on the Brink.

Gregory Popcak, a psychotherapist in Steubenville, Ohio, who specializes in marriage counseling for Catholics, says the pandemic has been particularly troublesome for spouses whose coping strategies have been disrupted.

Continue reading “Marriage & Divorce Amid Pandemic: Couples’ Challenges Abound by D. Crary”

Married Hillsong Church Administrator Sexually Assaulted Philadelphia Pastor’s Daughter: Report

Married Hillsong Church Administrator Sexually Assaulted Philadelphia Pastor’s Daughter: Report

Another example of how being married doesn’t make a person more godly, mature, ethical, responsible, or loving than remaining single.

Who, you may ask, teaches that marriage makes a person more loving, godly, etc, than being single (if you have to ask, you are probably married, because single adults already know)?

Why, a lot of conservative think tanks, Christian preachers, and other Christian talking heads, that’s who, such as but not limited to, “National Marriage Project,” Brad Wilcox, Al Mohler, Focus On The Family, and others. None of these marriage- idolating bozos care that the Bible says in 1 Corinthians 7 that it is better to remain single, or that Jesus of Nazareth was a single and childless adult.

(Link): Hillsong Church Sure Sounds Like an Abuse-Laden, Power-Obsessed Environment

….Anna Crenshaw, a student at Hillsong College who says she was once abused by a church leader as a child, was allegedly assaulted by Jason Mays, son of the Australian church’s human resources head, in front of multiple witnesses, one of which told her not to tell anyone about it.

Mays denied the incident, but because the other witnesses were able to verify Crenshaw’s account, Mays was placed on paid leave.

He is now in an administrative role with the church. “Reporting what happened was the issue, not what happened to me,” Crenshaw said.

(Link): Married Hillsong Church Administrator Sexually Assaulted Philadelphia Pastor’s Daughter: Reporter

Excerpts:

by Leonardo Blair
Feb. 12, 2021

Around the time they received complaints about inappropriate sexual relations between staff and volunteers at Hillsong NYC, the embattled Australia-based Hillsong Church was in the throes of investigating the sexual assault of a Philadelphia pastor’s daughter at its headquarters, a new report reveals.

Continue reading “Married Hillsong Church Administrator Sexually Assaulted Philadelphia Pastor’s Daughter: Report”

Marriage Won’t Keep You From Contracting Covid and Dying (this may come as a shock to Al Mohler and Brad Wilcox and those like them)

Marriage Won’t Keep You From Contracting Covid and Dying (this may come as a shock to Al Mohler and Brad Wilcox and those like them)

News story about this couple who is engaged, and they were told to marry very fast, because one of them was diagnosed with Covid and may die soon.

This sure doesn’t fit the fairy-tale like, fantasy picture of marriage so many Christians and social conservatives paint of marriage (such as but not limited to Focus on the Family, most Complementarian books, and most Roman Catholic persons on Twitter, Al Mohler (Southern Baptist), and Brad Wilcox (of the National Marriage Project).

(Link): Critical COVID patients rush to wed: ‘This might be your only chance’

by H. Sparks

….Emergency room patients Elizabeth Kerr and fiancé Simon O’Brien didn’t plan on a short engagement. But when COVID-19 nurses told them, “this might be your only chance,” the fatally sick pair decided it was now — or possibly never.

“Those are words I never, ever want hear again,” Kerr, 31, told Reuters, from a COVID-19 ward at the University Hospital in Milton Keynes, a borough about 50 miles northwest of London.

Continue reading “Marriage Won’t Keep You From Contracting Covid and Dying (this may come as a shock to Al Mohler and Brad Wilcox and those like them)”