I Hate Looking After Ill People So I’m Removing ‘In Sickness’ From My Wedding Vows – via AITA and The Sun 

I Hate Looking After Ill People So I’m Removing ‘In Sickness’ From My Wedding Vows – via AITA and The Sun 

This one below is a tough one.  My opinion sometimes goes one way and then the other on this subject whenever I see it turn up every so often in advice columns.

I don’t think it’s as clear cut as some of the people screaming at this lady think it is.

I was a caretaker for one of my dying family members for over a year, and it was physically and mentally draining – no, I wouldn’t want to repeat that, either, not with a spouse or someone else, so I can understand where this woman is coming from.

I am also a recovered codependent, and in the 35 or so years I was a codependent, I ran around ignoring my own needs to take care of other people – and I don’t just mean in caring for physically ill people, and driving car-less neighbors to doctor’s appointments and things like that – but I frequently listened to troubled friends, co-workers and family complain for hours over YEARS about the same problems repeatedly.

It is draining to be a constant care-taker for people, whether it’s caring for a physically ill and dying person, or providing a lot of Emotional Labor for negative or depressed friends and family.

So I don’t know if I can totally view the woman in the post below as being a selfish person. She already cared for one of her sick parents for years, and she understandably doesn’t want to re-live that with a spouse, should the spouse develop a chronic health condition.

But then, I can also see how, at first glance her position does come across as grating.

I wonder how much sexism plays a role in this – American culture expects that women will be care-takers and nurturers, where-as men are not expected to take on that role.

(Link): I hate looking after ill people so I’m removing ‘in sickness’ from my wedding vows

Along with the big white dress and booze-up with friends, the most important part of any wedding is seeing two people commit to each other for the rest of their lives.

Although plenty of couples opt for personal vows to express their love, the most important moment of any ceremony is arguably the bit where they declare to look after one another “in sickness and in health”.

But one bride-to-be has caused uproar online after she explained why she wants to remove this important line on her big day.

Posting on Reddit’s “Am I The A—-le” forum, the woman said she wants to replace “in sickness” with “in happiness”.

She explained: “This is harsh, but I hate taking care of sick people.

“My siblings and I were always taking care of our parents whenever they get sick and I just hate it.

“I’m sick of it and I hate feeling bound or obligated to take care of somebody.

Continue reading “I Hate Looking After Ill People So I’m Removing ‘In Sickness’ From My Wedding Vows – via AITA and The Sun “

Single Woman Who Plans Ahead Refuses to Change Airplane Seats So that Couples and Families Can Sit Together

Single Woman Who Plans Ahead Refuses to Change Airplane Seats So that Couples and Families Can Sit Together

I don’t blame her.

By the way. Marriage and parenthood do not make people more responsible, godly, loving, or ethical. Some married people are very entitled.

(Link): I absolutely REFUSE to switch my airline seat to help families and couples sit together – even when they start yelling, says single traveler JACI STEPHEN in a hilarious confession. So, do YOU sympathize with her?

August 25, 2022
By Jaci Stephen

Every summer, it happens: a family who hasn’t had the nous to book seats together on a plane asks a single passenger to move, in order to accommodate them.

This week, it’s Irish model and mother-of-three Vogue Williams, who publicly berated a fellow passenger for not wishing to give up his aisle seat and move to the window so that she could sit with her family. She was flying to London from Gibraltar, for goodness sake.

It’s a three-hour flight. Read a magazine. Order Duty Free. It’s not his fault that you’re so disorganized you can’t read a plane seat map.

I travel a lot. I have very specific seats I always choose (ask Virgin Atlantic; if I can’t get 8A, I’ll change planes). I like an aisle seat when traveling domestically because I need to use the rest room a lot.

I like to be at the front because I don’t like crowds and invariably need to disembark quickly. I spend weeks, sometimes months, making sure I have my favorite seat.

But I’ve lost count of the times I’ve been singled out as a single woman on her own and asked to change my seat. I suspect it’s because people think we’re going to be the softest touch. Wrong.

Continue reading “Single Woman Who Plans Ahead Refuses to Change Airplane Seats So that Couples and Families Can Sit Together”

The Federalist Writers Continue to Disregard That Some of Their Readers Are Conservative, Single, and Childless – Re: “Childless Chris Evans’ Inspiring Condemnation Of Anti-LGBT Bigots: ‘Those People Die Off Like Dinosaurs’”

The Federalist Writers Continue to Disregard That Some of Their Readers Are Conservative, Single, and Childless – Re: “Childless Chris Evans’ Inspiring Condemnation Of Anti-LGBT Bigots: ‘Those People Die Off Like Dinosaurs’”

June 22, 2022

I just wrote, (about two days ago!), (Link):  another rebuttal of sorts to another editorial at the Federalist that was, once again, in a round about way, shaming anyone single or childless for being single and childless.

And here we are again.

The owners of The Federalist, and their writers, really need to be aware that some of their readership consists of single, childless, conservative adults.

Not every un-married, childless adult out there hates the nuclear family, marriage, or parenthood, or is liberal or Democrat.

Some of us single and childless adults are conservatives who don’t agree with the progressive LGBT agenda.

Several days ago, when actor Chris Evans was informed that some nations were banning his new Disney / Pixar movie, Lightyear, because it contains a lesbian kissing scene, Evans made some kind of response in the media about how people who object to lesbianism or homosexuality will one day die off, and their views will go extinct, and he thinks that is a good thing.

While I myself do not support the entirety of the LGBT-agenda, in- so- far as they advocate things like wanting to force Christian bakers to bake wedding cakes for homosexual weddings, or legally (Link): permitting biological men who identify as women into women’s domestic violence shelters, bathrooms, and prisons, I also do not support any conservative retort that amounts to denigrating singleness or the state of being childless.

It is not necessary, fair, or kind, to push back against progressive LGBT propaganda, or to defend marriage and parenthood, at the expense of singleness and childlessness, but I will discuss this further below.

Here’s the latest singles-shaming, childless-shaming piece from The Federalist, only this time, it’s by another author, not the same one I was critiquing the other day over her essay (I will analyze it below the link and excerpts):

(Link): Childless Chris Evans’ Inspiring Condemnation Of Anti-LGBT Bigots: ‘Those People Die Off Like Dinosaurs’

Excerpts:

June 22, 2022
by Hans Fiene

Evans’s lack of children gives much greater weight to his insistence that all LGBTQIA2 opponents will go the way of the dodo.

… Next, when you remind them that they’re on the wrong side of history, they’ll repeat the debunked claim that history is more likely to be written by those who exist than those who don’t.

[When Evans was asked what his views were about anyone who was objecting to his new Lightyear movie due to its representation of homosexuality, Evans responded by conveying that]

 Their complaints will perish with them. Their bigotry will be swept into the dustbin of history. You simply need to wait for them to enter extinction.

To understand why his words are so comforting, it’s important to remember that Evans is an unmarried 41-year-old man with no children. Had his words been spoken by a man who sired offspring, they would be of no comfort to you.

… Evans’s lack of children, therefore, gives much greater weight to his insistence that all LGBTQIA2 opponents will go the way of the dodo. How can you not be comforted by the glorious confidence of this man who has reached middle age and yet has zero children to enroll in Miss Naughty’s Preschool for Drag Princesses? If kidless Captain America is certain that transgender eight-year-olds will still be a thing when the children of anti-LGBTQIA2+ Christians, Mormons, and Muslims inherit the earth, why should we fear?

Indeed they are! And you should be so confident of their idiocy that you do not fear forgoing procreation and leaving the children of your ideological enemies to continue your march towards queer justice. They’ll gladly oblige!

“Every time there’s been social advancement as we wake up, the American story, the human story is one of constant social awakening and growth and that’s what makes us good,” the film star added.

Absolutely! The human story is one long march towards libertine justice! Societies only grow stronger the more they encourage sterility and physically destructive sexual behaviors. That never brings about cultural collapse. So don’t feel an ounce of dread when you look at those Christian parents filling their 12-passenger van with their Christian children.
— end excerpts —

According to the end credits under that essay on The Federalist the author is…

Hans Fiene is a contributor to The Federalist. He is a Lutheran pastor in Missouri and the creator of Lutheran Satire, a series of comical videos intended to teach the Lutheran faith. Follow him on Twitter, @HansFiene
— end —

The Anti-Singles, Anti-Childless Pastor

Yikes. No. No, no, no, no.

To the Lutheran pastor who wrote this piece:
Your own Lord and Savior (Link): never married or had children, and yet His teachings and deeds were not forgotten.

Jesus of Nazareth’s world views were passed down by his spiritual children, initially by word of mouth, and then, in writing.

Continue reading “The Federalist Writers Continue to Disregard That Some of Their Readers Are Conservative, Single, and Childless – Re: “Childless Chris Evans’ Inspiring Condemnation Of Anti-LGBT Bigots: ‘Those People Die Off Like Dinosaurs’””

American Public School Teachers Seeking Validation For Their Sexuality From Students, Propagandizing LGBT Sexuality – Students Don’t Need To Know Your Sexuality or About Your Romantic Life, or if You Have One

American Public School Teachers Seeking Validation For Their Sexuality From Students, Propagandizing LGBT Sexuality – Students Don’t Need To Know Your Sexuality or About Your Romantic Life, or if You Have One

A lot of progressive American school teachers (and I guess some European ones, if British reporting is accurate) feel this intense need to brainwash their young students (and I’m talking including pre-junior high age children) into agreeing with, accepting, and celebrating LGBT sexuality or causes.

Adults should not be relying on children for validation, for whatever reason.
(Actually, it’s not entirely healthy for adults to continually rely on other adults for validation, but that’s another topic for another day.)

There is a non-stop list daily to weekly of these progressive school teacher freaks being reported in my social media who are cramming their progressive LGBT garbage down the throats of their students. This needs to stop.

These teachers need to realize their job is to teach the fundamentals to children, such as reading and writing, not telling them about their LGBT lifestyles, or discussing their dating or sex lives, or their sexuality preferences.

There was a video of a teacher posted to social media the other day about a LGBT teacher who said her kindergarten (or was it first grade? They were quite young) students who cheered for her when she announced to them that she is LGBT, and she said their acceptance made her happy, and she seemed to tear up in this video as she recounted this.

This is wackadoodle, disgusting, and unhealthy for several reasons. One of which is, you’re a freaking adult trying to get affirmation from CHILDREN.

Do not look to children to receive affirmation for yourself, your lifestyle, or your choices in life.

Secondly, she is their teacher. It’s not her place to use other people’s children to look for affirmation (or her own, if she has any – that would be what is called “parentifying” the child).

That LGBT teacher (or whatever other type of teacher) is there to teach the students the alphabet, or how to count to ten, and not to have them applaud being a lesbian or pan-sexual, or whatever the hell she identifies as.

There was a video recently where a male grade school (or kindergarten?) teacher was lamenting that under Florida’s new parental rights bill that he may no longer be allowed to tell his students about the kayaking trips he takes with his male partner in the summers, and he seemed upset by this.

FFS, dude, your students don’t need to know about your home life, your dating life, your marriage – you are there to teach them mathematics or reading. (They don’t even to know that one of your hobbies in your personal life is kayaking.)

Also, from my understanding of the Florida parental rights bill, I’m going to guess that it wouldn’t take issue with a gay teacher mentioning off hand to his class that he went kayaking with his male partner on vacation,
but again, this begs the question, as why would you find it necessary, whether homosexual or hetero, to tell your students about your vacation with your partner?

There’s no reason to mention it.

If you feel you absolutely must, you could mention you went kayaking if you feel the need to but not mention that you went with a romantic partner.

I’m a hetero, celibate adult (and I blog about celibacy on a regular basis on this blog), but if I taught a class, I would not bring those facts up. Those facts would not be pertinent to whatever class I am teaching, whether reading, mathematics, music, or art, especially for younger students.

There are so many of these examples being shared on social media, I cannot keep up with them all.

What you see below is just a small sampling.

This may be a post I come back to in the future to add more examples to. It never ends. (Or, I may do a Part Two – another new, separate blog post.)

(Link): Arizona Department of Education Invites 10-Year-Olds to Talk With Strangers Online About Their Sexual Identities 

May 24, 2022
by Alex Parker

Arizona is making sure its children understand their options.

Toward that end, the state’s Department of Education points 10-year-olds to chatrooms to discuss their sexual identities with unknown pre-teens, teens, and adults — facilitated by “trained volunteers.”

(Link): Freak of the Week: Another Woke Teacher Abandons His Subject to Talk to 5th Graders About Being Gay

BY MEGAN FOX APR 04, 2022 2:17 PM ET
Share

The number of teachers posting crazy crap on Tik Tok about what they do during class time when they should be teaching students is so numerous that a weekly segment might be necessary to keep up. This newest member of the “I have to tell little children I’m gay or I’ll cease to exist” club is “Mr. E.”

I spent way more time than I wanted to on Mr. E’s channel on Tik Tok trying to identify the school in which he works. Unfortunately, the name of the school was not visible in any of the hundreds of videos he’s made inside his alleged classroom.

Mr. E says he teaches fifth grade. Libs of Tik Tok found a video of Mr. E claiming to have “come out” to his students about being gay. It appears that he has deleted this video from his Tik Tok.

“I ended up telling my students that I was gay,” he said. “How it came up is one of the students [said] ‘My mom thinks you’re gay because of your voice.”

This would have been the perfect moment for Mr. E to tell that student, “Gossiping about teachers at home is unkind and that’s none of your or your mom’s business.”

Continue reading “American Public School Teachers Seeking Validation For Their Sexuality From Students, Propagandizing LGBT Sexuality – Students Don’t Need To Know Your Sexuality or About Your Romantic Life, or if You Have One”

The Fragile Male Ego That Can’t Function Without Constant Sexual Validation by S. Ashley

The Fragile Male Ego That Can’t Function Without Constant Sexual Validation by S. Ashley

The following pertains to Christian author Gary Thomas and his weird, sexist marital advice book, Married Sex, that got savaged by Christian women on social media in 2021.

I will provide an excerpt or two below, but really, this author’s entire review of Thomas’ book is quite good, so I would ask that you please click the link below to visit her review – which is hosted on Medium – to read the entire piece.

(Link): The Fragile Male Ego That Can’t Function Without Constant Sexual Validation by S. Ashley

Excerpts:

[Thomas earlier book, When to Walk Away, was well-received by many Christian women.]

Unfortunately, his latest book (co-authored by Debra K. Fileta and published by Zondervan Books), Married Sex, comes across more like a sex-obsessed man desperately trying to convince himself and the rest of us that his fixations were “designed by God.”

[The author of the piece then goes on to discuss certain parts of the book by Thomas that concerned her.]

[Excerpt from the Gary Thomas book, by Thomas]:

“Now she asks us to put a coaster under our drink or pick up our socks from the floor, and we act like she’s requesting twelve hours of hard labor. God isn’t unaware of this tendency, so he has given us men a physiological compulsion to keep our wives near and dear in our affections.
If it has been a while since we’ve had sex, those hormones start to boil, and the “drive” slowly begins to captivate our minds. If we grow in love and understanding, we’ll learn that for our wives to be sexually available to us, they need to be relationally and even spiritually connected with us.

When I saw this as God’s creational design, I realized that my sex drive was God’s way of keeping me aware of my wife’s relational needs. The fact that our brains have so much more space devoted to sex drive motivates us men to pursue our wives on all levels—with loyalty, empathy, and love. God’s design is for men to be so sexually vulnerable to their wives that they don’t neglect them in other aspects of the relationship.”
— end Thomas book excerpt —

This is so, so, so… gross. So gross! I (and so many other women) have zero interest in being with a man who requires constant sexual incentive just to be a decent human being.

Continue reading “The Fragile Male Ego That Can’t Function Without Constant Sexual Validation by S. Ashley”

Three Reasons Women’s Ministries Might Want to Focus Less on Marriage and Motherhood

Three Reasons Women’s Ministries Might Want to Focus Less on Marriage and Motherhood

I’ve been saying many of the same things on this blog for the last several years that this 2022 essay says.

Churches, especially gender complementarian ones – and not just in women’s ministries, but overall, in every facet of a church – make single / childless / childfree women feel ignored or unwanted, except for those Christians who patronizingly behave like the only use for a single, childless woman is to babysit the children of the married couples.

Reminder to Christians: more adults are not marrying these days – at all. Some may marry, but not until their 30s, 40s or older. Many (even if they do marry) are choosing to forgo children.

When churches focus on marriage and motherhood to the extent they do, they also send a message that being married and a parent is necessary for sanctification or relationship with God, which is false.

A person does not need to marry or have children to be sanctified, know God, or to be mature, ethical, godly, loving, or responsible.

(Link): Three Reasons Women’s Ministries Might Want to Focus Less on Marriage and Motherhood

Excerpts:

March 25, 2022
by Rachel Baker

Women’s ministries are often the home to every category of woman: Single, married, mother, widow, and so forth. As a Women’s Ministry Director, I both attend a women’s small group and organize the women’s ministry meetings at my local church.

In my small group alone there is a vast array of women, each in different categories, some are empty nesters, some are starting families, some are intentionally single, while others are single with the hope of being in a relationship in the future.

We cover the gamut, so why is it that women’s ministries’ regularly cast their focus on the married mother?

Don’t get me wrong, as a married mother I have absolutely benefited from Bible study curriculum and content focused on marriage and motherhood, however it should go without saying that these types of studies do not represent all women.

If you are in a position at your local church in women’s ministry or as a small group leader here are a few reasons why you might want to steer your Bible study content away from marriage and motherhood:

Studies Solely Based on Marriage and Motherhood Can Feel Exclusive

As a young married woman and then young mother I desperately needed support and connection and resources to help me feel a little less alone in that particular season of my life.

Marriage ministries and parenting ministries absolutely have a place within the church; they are absolutely needed.

However, when our larger-scale ministries such as women’s ministry or small group ministry only focus on young-married or motherhood we can miss out on the richness that comes from a group of women of all life-stages and relationship status.

Continue reading “Three Reasons Women’s Ministries Might Want to Focus Less on Marriage and Motherhood”

Married Mother and Father Fake the Wife’s Kidnapping, Used Donated Funds Meant to Help Find Kidnapped Wife to Pay off Couple’s Personal Credit Card Debt

Married Mother and Father Fake the Wife’s Kidnapping, Used Donated Funds Meant to Help Find Kidnapped Wife to Pay off Couple’s Personal Credit Card Debt

Never. Ever. Argue. Ever Again.  That “marriage” or “parenthood” somehow improve a person’s character, morality, or that either one somehow fixes what is wrong with culture, if you’re one of those who is super obsessed with Nuclear Families, marriage, and parenting, like most secular or religious conservatives, such as but not limited to, Focus On The Family,  National Marriage Project, Jim Daly, Mark Regnerus, Brad Wilcox, or Al Mohler.

Never again, in light of the fact I regularly see news items of married people (some of whom are parents!) who rape people, or who steal, make child porn, sell illegal drugs, and on and on with the wrong-doing, write, publish, or broadcast your stupid “if only every one would marry by the time they are 25 years old and have three children each, it would usher in a sin-free society and fix all that is wrong with the world!” bullshit.

Being married or being a parent does not necessarily make a person more responsible, loving, or ethical, or better in any way, shape, or form, than being single and childless (or childfree).

The following married couple faked the wife’s kidnapping, and used the “Go Fund Me” account that was opened to provide funds to help the family find her to use that donated money to pay off their personal debt on their credit card. Both are parents. Un-freaking-believable!

I am not anti-Marriage, anti-Nuclear Family, or anti-parenthood, but all the other conservatives have to stop it with cramming the “hyper pro Nuclear Family / Marriage / Natalism” propaganda down people’s throats, which they do every few months, with their stupid, insulting essays containing their fear-mongering, shaming, anti-singleness, “oh no, people are not getting married any more, or choosing not to have babies any more, marriage is so much better for people and culture than staying single” pearl-clutching essays and editorials.

(Link):  Years ago, she told police she had been abducted, beaten and branded. Now she’s charged with making it all up 

(Link):  Volunteer Who Feels Duped by Sherri Papini’s Kidnapping Story Reacts to Her Arrest: ‘Honestly, I Was Shocked’ 

(Link): Sherri Papini, husband allegedly paid off credit cards with $49,000 donated to kidnapping hoax

March 5, 2022
By Kerry J. Byrne

Sherri Papini’s once sympathetic tale grows more loathsome with each passing day.

The California “super mom” didn’t just fake her own abduction: Papini and her husband Keith also allegedly used nearly $50,000 donated toward the effort to find her to pay off their credit cards instead, according to authorities.

Papini was arrested Thursday on charges she staged her own 2016 kidnapping, a shocking three-week disappearance that generated international headlines and an outpouring of public support.

Continue reading “Married Mother and Father Fake the Wife’s Kidnapping, Used Donated Funds Meant to Help Find Kidnapped Wife to Pay off Couple’s Personal Credit Card Debt”

I Want to Divorce My Unbelievably Selfish Husband, Advice by S. L. Brown

I Want to Divorce My Unbelievably Selfish Husband, Advice by S. L. Brown

I hesitate to link to too many of these advice columnists any more, as months ago, someone admitted to writing bogus letters asking for advice, that were published to Slate, or some other publication. But maybe what follows is real… I’ve certainly known women in real life whose husbands are very selfish.

Anyway, for years, I had wanted to be married, and I never did get married. I eventually made peace with that.

Every so often I see letters like what follows below, or other women’s divorce horror stories – where they had to leave an abusive husband – and it makes me feel even more at peace with the fact I never married.

There’s no point in being married if the person you marry is selfish or treats you like garbage. It’s better to be single, or to stay single, then end up marrying an abuser or a self absorbed jackass.

(Most Christian gender complementarians would command this woman to stay in this joke of a marriage she describes and continue putting up with this horseshit from her selfish husband, because their interpretation of the Bible. 
I think their interpretation of the Bible is totally incorrect about gender roles and divorce… if you’re a grown woman, you have to make choices based on what you believe is best for you, not on another person’s fallible interpretation of the Bible.

If you’re a Christian woman, don’t look for, or count upon, your church’s or pastor’s “permission” to divorce an abusive or selfish husband, because most will not grant it.)

(Link): I Want to Divorce My Unbelievably Selfish Husband, Advice by S. L. Brown

January 31, 2022

Dear Care and Feeding,

I am a married mom of two kids. My husband is unbelievably selfish.

I do pretty much all of the parenting, housework, cooking, driving to extracurriculars, shopping, etc.

I also pay for virtually everything (we have separate bank accounts). He works a lot less hours than I do for around the same pay.

He spends his free time napping, going to the gym, getting massages … you get the picture.

I spend my free time looking after the kids. We’ve been to therapy, and he has stated that this is just how he is.

I’m beyond resentful and the only thing he contributes to our household right now is to the mess … that I then have to clean up. We live like roommates to the point that he sleeps in another room.

Continue reading “I Want to Divorce My Unbelievably Selfish Husband, Advice by S. L. Brown”

Indian ConMan is Arrested After Marrying FOURTEEN ‘Well-Paid’ Women Over 43 Years By Convincing Them He Was a Travelling Health Official in ‘Dead Easy’ Ruse

Indian ConMan is Arrested After Marrying FOURTEEN ‘Well-Paid’ Women Over 43 Years By Convincing Them He Was a Travelling Health Official in ‘Dead Easy’ Ruse

(Link): Indian ConMan is Arrested After Marrying FOURTEEN ‘Well-Paid’ Women Over 43 Years By Convincing Them He Was a Travelling Health Official in ‘Dead Easy’ Ruse

Feb 16, 2022
by By STEPHEN WYNN-DAVIES

An Indian conman who married 14 ‘well-paid’ women by convincing them he was a travelling health official has been arrested.

Ramesh Chandra Swain, 65, from Odisha, eastern India, targeted mostly middle-aged divorcees, including teachers, doctors and lawyers, who were looking for companionship or marriage.

Continue reading “Indian ConMan is Arrested After Marrying FOURTEEN ‘Well-Paid’ Women Over 43 Years By Convincing Them He Was a Travelling Health Official in ‘Dead Easy’ Ruse”

These Chains That Have No Name: Interview with Trans Widows Voices – Pro- Trans- Groups Use DARVO and other Narcissistic Manipulative Tactics on Trans Widows

These Chains That Have No Name: Interview with Trans Widows Voices – Pro- Trans- Groups Use DARVO and other Narcissistic Manipulative Tactics on Trans Widows

Can you imagine, you’re a woman married to a man, and after so many years of marriage, your husband informs you one day that he wants to identify as a woman? Lord. There are times I am glad I never married. Seeing stuff like this is one of those times.

(Link): These Chains That Have No Name: Interview with Trans Widows Voices

Excerpts:

March 2021
By Donovan Cleckley

Trans Widows Voices is a website that works to support the former partners of males who have socially and medically transitioned, and to amplify the voices of women, those who are most forgotten in the narratives of men’s heroic journeys to conquer ‘womanhood’ as theirs.

Under the “Our Voices” heading of the site, we see a selection of stories from women. Despite charges that these women make their male partners into monsters, these narratives show us new dimensions in the subjection of women.

Most relationships in these cases involve married heterosexual males, many of whom have fathered children, ‘coming out’ as ‘women’ after many years of crossdressing behind closed doors. “It is their wives who suffer,” Andrea Dworkin wrote in a review of Amy Bloom’s book Normal in 2003.

Continue reading “These Chains That Have No Name: Interview with Trans Widows Voices – Pro- Trans- Groups Use DARVO and other Narcissistic Manipulative Tactics on Trans Widows”

Authors at The Federalist Keep Bashing Singleness in the Service of Promoting Marriage – Which Is Not Okay


Authors at The Federalist Keep Bashing Singleness in the Service of Promoting Marriage – Which Is Not Okay

In the last two months, I’ve seen two different editorials from conservative site The Federalist in support of marriage (or parenthood).

I’m a conservative. I am not in opposition to marriage or people choosing to have children.

My issue with other conservatives is that they are so paranoid of liberals and assume all liberals are anti-marriage and anti-parenthood to the degree that they leave no room for nuance, meaning, that unfortunately, many pro-marriage and pro-parenthood conservatives end up “trash talking” singleness and the state of being childless (or being childfree).

I’m a conservative woman who has never married, and I’ve never had children, yet I do not hate marriage or married people having children, and I am so tired of these conservative authors or pundits feeling it necessary to put down single or childless adults like myself in their quest to defend marriage and natalism – conservative single adults like myself get caught in the cross-fire.

If you are a conservative who believes too many liberals are anti-marriage or anti-parenthood, and you want to speak out in favor of either station, that’s fine with me, but as a single, childless, conservative woman, I do get very hacked off and offended to read these conservative articles and editorials whose authors assume that any and all single and childless (or childfree) adults are awful, selfish, anti-family, weird, under-developed, or jerks.

Not every one in the United States today who is single past the age of 30, or who is childless or is childfree, is a feminist, a liberal, a progressive, pro-abortion, Democrat, or anti-family.

So, to my fellow conservatives, stop assuming that all single adults who remain single by choice OR by circumstance, or who are childless or childfree, are terrible, selfish, or are baby-hating progressives.

There is ZERO NEED to defend or promote marriage by talking in a derogatory manner about singleness or the state of being childless or childfree.

Make your case in favor of marriage or natalism without resorting to insulting all single adults, or assuming and making the false case that all single adults hate marriage, hate babies, or vote Democrat.

Here is the first of two recent pro-marriage or pro-natalism editorials at conservative site The Federalist  that manage to work in insults and slams against single adults or singleness itself – which is totally shameful and unnecessary!

(Link):  Joy Behar Accidentally Admits Social Conservatives Were Right About Sex

Pertinent Excerpts:

BY: NATHANAEL BLAKE
December 10, 2021

… In particular, large numbers of unattached men are bad for society; having a family encourages men to be productive and protective, rather than idle drones or predators.
— end excerpts —

I mean, really? It’s not necessary or fair to refer to or describe men who remain single as being “idle drones or predators.”

I have a long-running list of news headlines at my blog (in this post) of married men (some who even work as church pastors) who were arrested for wife abuse, making child porn, or raping children.

Serial killer John Wayne Gacy was married to a woman, had two biological children by her, but he went on to rape and murder over two dozen young men. Did marriage and fatherhood make Gacy more “loving” and “giving?” No, no it did not.

Marriage does not stop a man from being “a predator.”

Continue reading “Authors at The Federalist Keep Bashing Singleness in the Service of Promoting Marriage – Which Is Not Okay”

Christlike or Pornlike?  A Christian Woman’s Role in Marriage

Christlike or Pornlike?  A Christian Woman’s Role in Marriage by Andrew J. Bauman and Taylor May

(Link): Christlike or Pornlike?  A Christian Woman’s Role in Marriage

Excerpts:

by Andrew J. Bauman

I am proud to be writing this article in partnership with Taylor May, a survivor of emotional and spiritual abuse. She has boldly shared her own story about what it was like to be married to someone who had a Pornographic Style of Relating, (PSR) and what it felt like to be used by him with her Church’s consent.

*Trigger warning for those who have suffered this type of betrayal trauma.


I’ve written about the pornographic style of relating here (PSR), but today we will hear from the perspective of a woman who has lived on the other side of this dynamic.

Many people have been talking about this with the release of this new book [Married Sex: A Christian Couple’s Guide to Reimagining Your Love Life by Gary Thomas] and some of its disturbing implications.

How can we talk about what these women are experiencing, and what can we learn from them?

Taylor May has offered her story and her experience below. My hope is that this can begin to clear up the muddy waters of what it means to live a Christlike marriage in a deeply pornified world.


by Taylor May

I didn’t realize how a pornographic style of relating was so deeply embedded into my first marriage until I was firmly planted into my second marriage.

That’s when I began to see the impact my first husband’s issue with lust had on my new, much healthier relationship.

Let me tell you my story, and how I and countless other women feel when our significant others lust for other women, on-screen or off.

Those of us who grew up in the evangelical Church have been told that we are responsible for men’s lust issues. This lie has been perpetrated by the church for far too long.

Many men are leading our church conversations with 90% of pastors being men, and considering that nearly 50% of those pastors self-report having used pornography, it would make sense that they would try to gaslight women by minimizing the destructive nature of porn use.

One way they do this is by framing it as a women’s issue or a sex issue, rather than the objectification of women/sin issue–one that stems from the person doing the objectifying.

Continue reading “Christlike or Pornlike?  A Christian Woman’s Role in Marriage”