Deviant Father Who Raped His Screaming One Year Old Infant Daughter for Dark Web Jailed

Deviant Father Who Raped His Screaming One Year Old Infant Daughter for Dark Web Jailed

Do Marriage and Parenthood, as so many pro-Nuclear Family Christians and conservative think tanks suggest, improve people or make society better, or cause individuals to become more godly, ethical, responsible, and loving? Nope. Here’s another example.

Did being married and being a father cause this man to behave in a loving, godly, ethical, responsible manner? Why no, it did not.

Also, ask yourself this: is this guy perfect? No, obviously he is not perfect. Yet, growing up, I often read in Christian content about singleness that if one wants to marry one day, that one must become perfect, or a really great and morally upstanding person if one wanted to be granted a spouse by God.

Obviously, such teaching is total bunk, seeing as how many examples I have on this blog of people who did get a spouse but later went on to be arrested for pedophilia, murder, or God knows what else.

If there is a deity, that deity obviously does not with-hold a spouse from people if they are not “perfect,” since that deity is permitting dirt-bags to marry.

(Link): Deviant Father Who Raped His Screaming One Year Old Infant Daughter for Dark Web Jailed

Jimmy McCloskey
Friday 12 Jul 2019

James Lockhart, 31, received the maximum sentence possible at a court hearing Thursday for producing the four videos between March 2016 and February 2018.

Harrowing court documents said that during at least one of the clips, the young victim ‘continues to scream and cry’ as she is sexually assaulted by her father.

Continue reading “Deviant Father Who Raped His Screaming One Year Old Infant Daughter for Dark Web Jailed”

Mega Church Preacher Bill Hybels in Trouble Again For More Sexual Harassment

Mega Church Preacher Bill Hybels in Trouble Again For More Sexual Harassment (2018)

I don’t think I ever blogged about this Hybels guy before.

He was first in the news many months ago for sexually harassing several different women in his church years before, who had worked as church staff.

His church first denied that this was true, and they attempted to say the women who stepped forward to discuss their harassment or abuse by this guy were lying.

There are so many of these pervy pastors it’s hard to keep up with them all. If all I ever did was blogged about perverted pastors, it would be a full time job, and I’d never have a break from this blog!

I’m pretty sure that Hybels is a married guy, too. Christians keep teaching that marriage is necessary to make a person a godly, responsible adult, and to keep them out of sexual sin, but as we see (yet once again!) marriage does not necessarily instill character into anyone, nor does it keep anyone from sexual sin or from sexually abusing others.

Let this story also go to show that a person does NOT have to become perfect, godly, or sinless to “earn” a spouse from God.

Yes, there are some Christians out there who teach that if you are single and want to get married, God will with-hold your spouse from you unless you become more godly, mature, or whatever quality. As  you can see from news reports such as this one, that is total bunk.

God did not withhold a spouse from Hybels (again, I’m fairly certain he has a wife), even though God had to know what a pervert the man is.

(Link): He’s a Superstar Pastor. She Worked for Him and Says He Groped Her Repeatedly.


Bill Hybels built an iconic evangelical church outside Chicago. A former assistant says that in the 1980s, he sexually harassed her.

SOUTH BARRINGTON, Ill. — After the pain of watching her marriage fall apart, Pat Baranowski felt that God was suddenly showering her with blessings.

She had a new job at her Chicago-area megachurch, led by a dynamic young pastor named the Rev. Bill Hybels, who in the 1980s was becoming one of the most influential evangelical leaders in the country.

Continue reading “Mega Church Preacher Bill Hybels in Trouble Again For More Sexual Harassment”

Brit Arrested For Kicking His Thai Wife to death After She Spurned His Advances

Brit Arrested For Kicking His Thai Wife to death After She Spurned His Advances

Obviously, the murder is horrific – but I also note that the husband is 51 years old, the wife was 29. Here is what I’ve said before about such  (Link): May December relationships?

Any way, if you’re a single woman like me who had wanted to marry, but still find yourself single, such news stories show that being married in and of itself is not a great thing if your husband is an abusive loser, like this guy in this article.

Let this also go to show (yet again) that marriage does not make people more godly, mature, or responsible, as so many Marriage-Idolating, Anti-Singles Christians and conservative think tanks like to argue.

(Link): Brit Arrested For Kicking His Thai Wife to death After She Spurned His Advances

April 2018

A British man has been arrested in Thailand for allegedly kicking his wife to death after she refused to have sex with him.

Kevin Smitham, 51, had been staying with wife Kanda Smitham, 29, and their parents in Ubon Ratchathani, Thailand, during the Songkran new year holiday.

But he is said to have flown into a drunken jealous rage — accusing his wife of cheating on him when she refused to have sex on Sunday evening.

Continue reading “Brit Arrested For Kicking His Thai Wife to death After She Spurned His Advances”

Woman Admitted She Helped Her Husband Rape Two Children

Woman Admitted She Helped Her Husband Rape Two Children

Contrary to my fellow conservatives, marriage (or parenthood) do not necessarily make people more godly, mature, ethical, responsible or loving. Yet another example listed below. A very disgusting example.

Also note: contra Christian teachings, if you are single, God is not waiting on you to become more godly, more perfect, more spiritual, more loving, or more “whatever,” before he’ll permit you to have a spouse. If this teaching were true, we’d not see perverts like the one in the story below getting married.

(Link): Woman Admitted She Helped Her Husband Rape Two Children

A woman in Pennsylvania admitted she helped her husband rape two children. According to People, 31-year-old Holly Greiner was sentenced for her crimes.

In 2015, Holly and her husband, 29-year-old Robert Phillip Greiner, were arrested after a 10-year-old boy told West Manheim Township police what happened.

The child said he and a 5-year-old girl were sexually abused by the Pennsylvania couple over a six-month period.

Continue reading “Woman Admitted She Helped Her Husband Rape Two Children”

Church-Goer and Her Pastor Lover Killed Her Husband So They Could Be Together

Church-Goer and Her Pastor Lover Killed Her Husband So They Could Be Together

(Disclaimer: I am a conservative, always have been. This does not mean I completely agree with other conservatives on all issues.)

This news story once more disproves several Christian and secular conservative assumptions, such as: marriage makes people more godly, mature, and responsible; that God will not grant an imperfect person a spouse, and that being “Equally Yoked” (marrying another Christian) means that your spouse will be up-standing, a decent person, loving, caring, etc.

(Link):  Church-Goer and Her Pastor Lover Killed Her Husband So They Could Be Together March 2017, by Gail Shortland


Cindy was devoted to the church and the clergyman who preached there…

…Accountant Cindy Reese, 40, lived with her husband Michael, also 40, in Morris, Alabama. They’d been married six years, and had met after Cindy’s first husband had committed suicide.

The couple had a seemingly normal and idyllic life in their picture-perfect white-painted house nestled under the shade of the trees.

…The couple were religious and regularly attended the local Sardis Baptist Church, where Cindy was also head of music. But things were far from perfect. In 2013, Jeffery Brown, 36, became senior pastor at the church.

Cindy was taken with the clergyman and they started an affair.

Continue reading “Church-Goer and Her Pastor Lover Killed Her Husband So They Could Be Together”

Newly Married Couple Arrested for Kidnapping, Beating, and Raping Woman (Marriage Does Not Make People More Mature or Loving)

Newly Married Couple Arrested for Kidnapping, Beating, and Raping Woman (Marriage Does Not Make People More Mature or Loving)

There’s this view among a lot of conservative Christians and secular conservatives that marriage is a necessary component to make a person mature and repsponsible – and Christians like to argue marriage is necessary to “sanctify” a person (though the Bible does not teach this but esteems singleness).

They promote these views in part because they have a wrong view that marriage is necessary to “clean up” culture. They have no faith in the Gospel of Jesus Christ to transform people, so they rely on things such as marriage, traditional gender roles, natalism, or the nuclear family to “fix” society, though the New Testament doesn’t seem too concerned with anyone’s culture being fixed.

A culture being fixed would be a by-product of individuals within said culture accepting Christ as Savior and being transformed by the Holy Spirit.

It does not necessarily follow that a “fixed” culture – one made of people who accept Christ – would all be married. It would be theoretically possible for such a “fixed” society to be entirely comprised of born-again single adults.

As you can see here, being married did not make these two adults who kidnapped and raped a woman godly, mature, responsible, loving, or ethical:

(Link): Honeymooners Arrested for Kidnapping and Raping Woman


by A Woods
July 2017

A callous couple on honeymoon in Florida kidnapped and raped a woman before strolling stark naked into two stores, according to a report.

The 27-year-old victim had just finished grocery shopping at a Publix store in Miami on July 9 …

….Horsley began choking the woman while Lowe punched her in the face, the station reported.

Continue reading “Newly Married Couple Arrested for Kidnapping, Beating, and Raping Woman (Marriage Does Not Make People More Mature or Loving)”

Married Female Christian Blogger Whose Mate Hunting Criteria is Guaranteed to Keep Marriage Minded Single Christian Men Single Perpetually

Married Female Christian Blogger Whose Mate Hunting Criteria is Guaranteed to Keep Marriage Minded Single Christian Men Single Perpetually

An analysis of “13 Women Men Should Never Marry” by Mary Colbert

There were a few items on Colbert’s list I thought were okay or spot-on, but most of her blog post was a train wreck.

If you are a single Christian man who wants to marry some day, and you follow this married woman’s advice to a “T” you will be single forever.

This lady also seems to be arguing for traditional gender roles in marriage (a.k.a. “gender complementarianism.”)

The only type of man who really and truly wants a “biblical woman” are controlling, abusive men – only they are attracted to doormat females (a.k.a. “gender complementairans,” aka. “biblical women”).

Colbert seems to define a wife as being nothing but an accessory to a husband, as though the woman will not, does not, or should not have any needs, goals, or dreams of her own.

A woman who is willing to serve you, a man, every step of the way and be a doormat to you is NOT EMOTIONALLY HEALTHY.

There is a reason such a woman is putting you first all the time and stuffing her emotions and anger down, and it is not because she is truly happy doing so or truly wants to live that way. Your marriage will end in divorce.

I know if you are a (non abusive) man (abusive men already know they prefer doormat women who cater to their every whim), it may sound really great to think that the wife you marry will always put you first, always help you meet your goals, and meet your every need, but no, no, no, it will not be the fairy tale and fantasy you think it will.

Not only will your wife eventually burn out (because she is meeting all your needs, but you are not meeting any of hers), she will eventually be filled with unspoken resentment, and you will grow very un-challenged by your wife and the dynamics of your marriage, and hence you will also grow BORED by your doormat wife, and you will have an affair or divorce her.

Unfortunately, many Christians pass off the emotional sickness of codependency as being “biblical womanhood,” as the woman of this piece does, which I find very odd, considering one of her other points on the list to men is to tell them not to hook up with a woman who always expects the man to help or rescue her.

Women who are codependent (remember, “biblical womanhood” and “gender complementarianism” are nothing but codependency under other names) put you, the man, first, because they are very clingy, emotionally needy, and such women expect you to be “Mr Knight In Shining Armor, He Will Fix All My Problems” types.

They are trading off their independence and such for your protection and you being a provider – and that is NOT a good thing for them, for you, or for your marriage, if you want your marriage to succeed.

Such women are not catering to your every need out of altruism, dedication to the Bible, or out of pure love – some such women may not even realize this about themselves until years later, or unless and until they’ve gone through therapy for codependency.

I’m not even saying a man should not marry a codependent female, but know what you are getting into before you marry one.

If you marry a codependent, you will have to coach her to express her anger to you (codependents are reluctant or afraid to express anger or disagreement, they are scared of conflict) and coach her to tell you what she really wants and needs in the relationship, and make it clear you cannot know what she wants and needs unless she tells you because you cannot read her mind.

And for God’s sake, buy your codependent girlfriend books about codependency and tell her to read the books – start with Dr. Cloud’s and Dr. Townsend’s book “Boundaries,” or some book like that.

I feel as though the woman who wrote this piece is very prejudiced against people who have mental health problems. There is no compassion shown to people who struggle with various mental health issues.

This Colbert lady is basically teaching a form of the false Christian belief that God will not reward you with a spouse unless and until you become perfect – she teaches that marriage is possible only for perfect people who have no flaws, which is a total lie (see this list for examples).

(Link): 13 Women Men Should Never Marry by Mary Colbert

Here are some excepts.

A few of the points I agreed with:

    9. Married Mindy. You would think this would be obvious, but unfortunately it is not. If a married woman is sending you signals or if you’re married and a single woman is sending you signals, beware.

    If she will cheat with you, she will cheat on you.

    “Why bring the hot coals of fire into your chest?” the Bible clearly warns you. Unless a woman has a true heart change in the Lord, and not a heart change because of you, history will repeat itself.

    10. Lying Linda. Listen to this woman. If she has no problem lying to family, friends and co-workers, she will have no problem lying to you. That which you fear, you cannot love. Trust will always be an issue with you. Eventually your love for her will dry up.

One item that I partially agreed with:

    3. Holy Holly. This woman can be exhausting. She quotes the Bible in everything she does.

    She is the “only one” who hears from God correctly. She has no real joy in living. No sense of humor. If she laughed, her face would crack. Her comfort and joy come from the law of the Lord.

A few points that I totally disagreed with:

    12. Sad Sally. This woman has no joy.

    She seems sad most of the time and has the attitude of “If it wasn’t for bad luck, I’d have no luck at all.” Attitude will determine altitude—how far you will go.

    Like a helium balloon, you are constantly having to pump this woman up, only to find her deflated in the morning. Look for a woman who knows how to encourage herself, and you will find one who will encourage you and won’t weigh you down.

    13. Nervous Nellie. This woman is afraid of everything—afraid to drive, afraid to fly, afraid to try anything new.

    She will have to see it to believe it. Nervous Nellie can hold a man back from becoming the gift he was meant to be. This doesn’t mean a woman can’t balance a man to keep him from being careless. Often a woman can sense the things that men overlook.

    I am saying that this one can never go beyond her comfort zone. She is obsessed with illness and talks of sickness as if it is something to expect—that it’s normal and a healthy life is unusual.

The married woman who wrote this travesty signed off with,

    Mary Colbert is married to Dr. Don Colbert, who graduated from ORU Medical School in 1984. He then moved to central Florida where he did his internship and residency at Florida Hospital.

    For over 20 years, Dr. Colbert has practiced medicine in Central Florida. He is currently board certified in Family Practice and Specializing in Anti-Aging Medicine.

    Dr. Don Colbert is also a New York Times best selling author that has written over 40 books.

Notice how she defined herself totally in terms of HER HUSBAND.

Warning: I suspect she is enmeshed with hubby and is highly codependent. Other clues I picked up that may be true of her were these comments she made on the page:

    Her pains will become your worst nightmare. Remember you are looking for a helpmate, not a mate to help.

As I said in some comments below the article:

post by christianpundit

    Wow, this list was pretty demeaning and so general, encompassing so many different flaws and personality types, everyone will be guilty of them at some time or another.

    The “Sad Sally” (or whatever it was called) category is especially demeaning to women who may be diagnosed with clinical depression – such women are still worthy of a mate and of being loved. There is no such thing as a perfect woman (or man).

    The “Nervous Nelly” one is also insulting for women who struggle with anxiety attacks (which can be biological in origin). Maybe a loving, caring man can help such a woman through her anxiety, and if she takes doctor prescribed medication, she would make a perfectly fine and suitable partner/wife.

    There are, unfortunately, a lot of males, including Christian ones, who are searching for the perfect woman, and there is no such creature – and whom they usually define in un-biblical and/or unrealistic terms, such as the 45 year old fat, indebted, socially awkward man who insists on having a perpetually stick thin, 25 year old, steadily employed girlfriend who has a ton of money, no problems in her life at all, and no needs of her own.

    This list is basically telling men they are going to be single for life, because you are telling them to look for a perfect woman to date or marry (i.e., a woman with no emotional, financial, or health-related issues – there is no such woman, just as there is no such man).

    One or two points in this editorial were valid, such as, “Just make sure that looks aren’t the only thing you see, because although a trophy will lose its shine over time, what’s on the inside never will.” -but a lot of the rest of this editorial was dreck and over-generalizing.

    It was also mentioned in the editorial a few times that a woman should help the man meet his goals – no, it is a two way street. A woman is not a man’s accessory.

    A wife does not exist only to meet the man’s needs, to help the man reach his goals, or to serve the man. The husband should also help the wife meet HER goals in life and help build up HER talents. The “helping the partner reach their potential” is applicable to both partners in a relationship, not just one person.

    I can guarantee you if a relationship is lop sided to where the woman is constantly serving the man and helping him achieve his goals, but he does nothing to help her with hers, resentment will build in her, and she will eventually divorce the guy.

    All women have needs, and many of them have dreams for their own lives, that is a reality.

    If you are telling un-married men to search for a woman who doesn’t have any needs or goals of her own, you are telling single men who want to be married to look for a woman who does not exist. There is no “fantasy” woman who comes with the perfect figure, AND perfect face, AND zero baggage, AND zero problems, AND zero flaws, AND zero financial (or health / emotional) problems.

My response to some guy who was defending the “Holy Holly” point (he acts like he would be thrilled to marry a “Holy Holly” type of gal):

    To each his or her own, but I have been around “Holy Holly’s” and “Holy Hanks,” (also known as Stepford Christians), and they are not a joy to be around.

    They pepper every single other sentence with a Bible verse quote or theological talk… one cannot have normal, every day pleasant conversation with Stepford Christians, like about the weather, current events, or one’s favorite TV shows; they are very robotic, they find it necessary to mention Jesus every third sentence, or bring theology up in every topic, even ones having nothing to do with theology.

    I find them weird… even when I was a gung ho Christian myself. They were either boring to me or came across as weird or one dimensional.

If you are a single guy of any age, and you want to be married, I would be very, very careful about following the ‘how to’ lists put out by Christian groups, or the ‘who not to marry’ lists and advice columns. If you follow their advice too closely, you may die single.
Related posts this blog:

(Link): On Christians Marrying Non Christians -and- Unrealistic, Too Rigid Spouse Selection Lists by Christians

(Link): Gender Complementarian Advice to Single Women Who Desire Marriage Will Keep Them Single Forever / Re: Choosing A Spiritual Leader

(Link): How Christians Have Failed on Teaching Maturity and Morality Vis A Vis Marriage / Parenthood – Used as Markers of Maturity Or Assumed to be Sanctifiers – Also: More Hypocrisy – Christians Teach You Need A Spouse to Be Purified, But Also Teach God Won’t Send You a Spouse Until You Become Purified

(Link): Wife of Preacher Shoots, Kills Him, Recounts Years of Physical and Sexual Abuse – So Much for the Equally Yoked Teaching and the Notion that Christian married sex is Mind Blowing

(Link): Decent Secular Relationship Advice: How to Pick Your Life Partner

(Link): Married Man Forced His Wife To Have Sex With Strangers and He Killed A Teen – So Much For the Christian Teaching That God Doesn’t Send Spouses to Imperfect, Sinful People

(Link): Prejudiced Writer Stupidly Blames Slutty Halloween Costumes and Societal Ills on Childless the Childfree, and Unmarried Adults – but Married people and parents are not perfect either

Advocate of Family Values Doesn’t Uphold Family Values | Stop Asking Pat Robertson for Advice America!

Advocate of Family Values Doesn’t Uphold Family Values (Re Pat Robertson)

Why do people write Robertson for advice, espeically women?

Robertson is currently an 82 or 83 year old “gender complementarian” who has very definite views about the roles men and women are to play, ones which are rooted in a faulty understanding of certain biblical passages and stuck in 1950s American culture. If you are a woman and write to him with a question, he will usually take the husband’s side.

Women of America: stop writing Robertson questions! Stop asking him questions via the “Bring It On” online section of his “700 Club” site. Stop it. He doesn’t have anything valuable or sensitive to say about most life situations.

Pat Robertson promotes himself as being all about “family values.” But he doesn’t uphold family values in his private life, and he doesn’t support them when answering viewer questions to his television show.

I am using Robertson as an example, because there are already so many videos online of him and his sexist, anti-family values to point to, but he is by no means the only Christian champion of “family values” I’ve seen who is a hypocrite on the issues of marriage, divorce, spousal abuse, etc.

At one time, Robertson was a Southern Baptist preacher. That is also alarming, because SBC (Southern Baptist Churches/ Convention) promotes itself as being all about family values and traditional values.

Hell, I live out family values more often and more consistently than most SBC guys or Robertson, and I’ve never married, I’m a woman, never had a kid, never had sex outside of marriage, and I’m borderline agnostic these days.

I’m not having sex outside marriage, I’m not telling married men it’s okay for them to cheat on their wife, I’m not advocating that people divorce their sick spouse, etc.

Pat Robertson had pre-marital sex. His first son was born out of wedlock. However, Robertson periodically has “anti porn,” and “anti- sexually explicit material brought in to or taught to college kids” spokespersons on his 700 Club show.

Here is a guy lecturing the rest of us to keep our skirts down and legs crossed, but he’s engaged in sexual immorality himself.

Here are some links about Robertson’s pre-marital fornication and resultant illegitimate son:

(Link): Pat Robertson Lashes Accusers

    by By Rogers Worthington, Chicago Tribune.
    Published 1987
    On Friday, Robertson`s wife and son appeared on the Christian Broadcasting Network and said they have a loving home untouched by concern over Tim Robertson being conceived out of wedlock, United Press International reported.

    Dede Robertson said the public revelation surrounding her son’s conception stung at first, but added, “The freedom that I’m feeling and the prayers that I’m feeling have lifted me up.”

On to the next Robertson anti-family, anti- traditional marriage, anti- traditional values gaffe.

Contrary to what most Christians assume, Christ and the Bible does NOT teach that divorce is acceptable only in cases of
1. atheist spouse
2. adultery

(Don’t believe me about what the Bible says about divorce that it’s permissible in situations other than atheist spouse/adultery? (Link): Read this)

However, that does not mean that the Bible sanctions, or that it’s ethically okay, for a husband to divorce a spouse because the spouse is sick, yet that is precisely what Robertson advocated.

(Link to You Tube video): Televangelist Pat Robertson Condones Divorcing a Spouse With Alzheimers Disease

(Link): Divorce Wife With Alzheimer’s – Pat Robertson (hosted by Young Turks on You Tube)

Robertson claims to be “pro marriage,” but here he is taking a low view of marriage by telling husbands it’s okay to dump a sick spouse and divorce her. How is advocating the dissolution of a family over such an invalid reason “pro-marriage,” or “pro-family values”? It’s not. Yet Robertson has the nerve to keep passing himself off as a “family values” supporter.

(Link): Robertson: Divorce Your Wife With Alzheimers

The Bible is egalitarian in gender roles, not gender complementarian (as taught by CBMW), nor does the Bible teach that women cannot be preachers, leaders, or that they are to submit to a husband as though the husband were an authority figure. ((Link):Source)

The Bible does not condone or excuse husbands beating up their wives, but Pat Robertson gets into heresy on all this, and seems just fine with men beating their wives, and tries to make a joke out of it (see video clip below, linked).

Robertson also disturbingly compares a grown wife to little girls who rebels in one video segment; adult wives are not little girls.

Also bear in mind we don’t have the wife’s perspective of the marriage in all this, we only have the view of the disgruntled husband who wrote to Robertson for advice:

(Link – video on You Tube): Pat Robertson Tells Man to Beat his Wife, Move to Saudi Arabia

More un-biblical, anti family values comments and views from Robertson:

(Link): Ugly Wives Ruining Marriages says Pat Robertson

The Bible says that Christians are supposed to care for widows and orphans, but Robertson is anti-family values on this issue as well-

(Link): Pat Robertson’s Advice: Don’t Adopt Children

(Link): Pat Robertson: Don’t Adopt Sexually Molested Children, Could Grow Up “Weird”

See my previous posts:

(Link): Pat Robertson Expects Men to Commit Sexual Sin (and it’s not the first time) | (Robertson says Wives are to Blame if Husbands Commit Adultery)

My follow up post to that one:

(Link): Pat Robertson to married woman: All men are cheaters and sex crazed horn dogs, but that’s okay because they’re men

Here are some more links about Pat Roberton’s fornication:

(Link): Robertson’s Son Conceived Out of Wedlock

(Link): Wild Oats Robertson Rewrites His Resume (TIME, 1987)

    Only one week after Televangelist Pat Robertson formally declared his presidential candidacy, he received a chilling political baptism.

    Press accounts disclosed that Robertson’s first child had been conceived out of wedlock and that the former minister had misstated his wedding date to conceal the fact.

    Robertson, who has condemned sex before marriage, said he had merely tried to “protect his family” in previously suggesting that he had been married in March 1954 rather than on Aug. 27.

    Robertson’s first son was born ten weeks after the wedding. Robertson said that he and his wife Dede considered March 22, 1954 — the…

Robertson Assails Press Admits Backdated Wedding

Motherhood Does Not Necessarily Make Women More Mature, Selfless, Responsible, Or Spiritual

Motherhood Does Not Necessarily Make Women More Mature, Selfless, Responsible, Or Spiritual

Many Christians have biases against unmarried people and people without children. If you’ve never married and had kids, married Christians think you are selfish, lazy, have a stress-free life and oodles of free time. There is this misperception that only married people with children have life tough and have “real” responsibilities, or that married people are more responsible and mature. Here’s an article which says otherwise:

(Link): Why There Are More Walk Away Moms

By Peggy Drexler, Special to CNN

    Eleven years ago, Brenda Heist dropped off her young kids at school — and never returned. Not to pick them up later, and not to their Pennsylvania home. The family thought she was dead. That something terrible had happened to her. What else could explain the sudden disappearance of a woman her daughter, then 8, later described as a “great” mom?

    But then last week, after more than a decade, Heist turned up in Florida, revealing to police that she hadn’t been kidnapped or killed. She had, she said, been stressed.

    Most mothers are familiar with the feeling — for some it’s more fleeting than for others — of total exhaustion, frustration, a sense of being overwhelmed by duty and the responsibility of raising children. Maybe some indulge in a momentary fantasy of running away.

    Though there are no hard numbers, reports would seem to indicate that the number of moms who actually do run away — or at least walk away — is increasing.

    According to the U.S. Census Bureau, the number of single fathers has been rising steadily, from more than 600,000 in 1982 to more than 2 million in 2011.

    Anecdotally, too, we’re hearing more from mothers who leave their children due to choice or circumstance.

    There’s Rahna Reiko Rizzuto, who wrote in an essay for that she realized, when her sons were 3 and 5 that she didn’t want to be a full-time mother anymore. There are even support groups now for women who decide to leave their children.

    What is happening?

    It’s hard to say, but our increasingly me-first world might have something to do with it. According to a study published in the journal Social Psychology and Personality Science, clinical narcissism –defined by heightened feelings of entitlement, decreased morality and a dog-eat-dog mentality — has increased by 30% over the past 20 years. Two out of every three people now measure high for the disorder.

    Continue reading “Motherhood Does Not Necessarily Make Women More Mature, Selfless, Responsible, Or Spiritual”

Part 2 – Following the Usual Advice Won’t Get You Dates or Married – Even CHRISTIAN Celebrities Have A Hard Time

Part 2 – Following the Usual Advice Won’t Get You Dates or Married – Even CHRISTIAN Celebrities Have A Hard Time (Read part 1)

I explained in an earlier post (Part 1) that contrary to much advice one hears from Christians and Non-Christians, that being sexy, skinny, wealthy, having a great sense of humor, being mentally stable, and being extroverted, or having long, sexy hair, are not guarantees of getting a spouse, or even getting dates.

A Christian vistior to the blog left a comment under my first post pointing out that entertainers do not adhere to Christian values, or do not claim to.

I’m not sure that was entirely relevant to my premise that the standard dating and marriage advice one gets from Christians and Non Christians doesn’t always work.

My main point with this post is that even self-professing Christian celebrities – who often have great looks, flashy careers, mansions, and yachts – also fail at love.

Continue reading “Part 2 – Following the Usual Advice Won’t Get You Dates or Married – Even CHRISTIAN Celebrities Have A Hard Time”

The ol’ Christian myth that married couples are impervious to sexual sin but singles have lots of sexual sin

The ol’ Christian myth that married couples are impervious to sexual sin but singles have lots of sexual sin

I am hence forward going to occasionally copy certain stories to this blog: at times I see news stories or advice columns where a married person is arrested for crime, a woman writes for advice because her spouse is addicted to porn, is a drunkard, or is abusing her – bonus points if the people in these stories are self professing Christians – I may be including it on my blog.

I currently already have a few examples already (see this page)

One regularly sees married Christians discriminate against unmarried Christians. For example, most churches, which are run by married people, do not permit unmarried Christians to hold positions of importance, significance, or leadership precisely because of their singlehood.

One will regularly see Christian authors advise Christian unmarrieds that in order to get a spouse, they must achieve perfection and sinlessness in this lifetime.

Marriage is held out by some Christians to be a reward for Christians who have all their sh*t together. Never mind the Bible is clear that nobody has their sh*t together all the time in this lifetime. And never mind that I constantly see people way more messed up than me getting married all the time.

There is a stereotype held by most married people, including Christians, that unmarried people, even the ones over the age of 30, are immature, irresponsible, weird, or horny horn dogs who are more sexually active than a five dollar crack whore.

Further assumptions by Christians and Non Christians is that one must resemble Brad Pitt or Cindy Crawford if one wants a spouse, yet I frequently see obese males and females, ugly people, or baldlng guys get spouses.

I see beautiful models, actors, and rock singers who can’t find a date or stay married.

So I don’t think physical perfection (usually as in air-brushed to death) is a requisite for marriage. (See this page for more, and this page for more.)

The divorce rate in the USA is high for both Non Christians and Christians. So even though some of these people are tying the knot, they are not staying married. If the stereotype is that one must be perfect before meriting a spouse from God, shouldn’t these perfect people be able to stay married? How can perfect people divorce?

Then, there is the gross misperception that being married makes one completely immune from falling into sexual sin.

Here is an excerpt from a page about the impact of pornography on marriages:

(Link): Porn addiction destroys relationships, lives

    According to the Web site, huge numbers of divorce lawyers report that pornography is a big issue in divorce these days, which it never was before the advent of the Internet.

There is a Bible verse that alludes to “get married if you are a horn dog” because it’s “better to marry than burn.”

However, being married does not prevent sexual sin.

Plenty of married people commit sexual sin – by viewing pornography; using prostitutes; fantasizing, during sex with their spouse, that their spouse is their favorite movie actor; married men look in lust at other women all the time; and on and on.

At the same time, many preachers, when they bother to address singlehood, tend to narrow their commentary to SEX.

I’m sure, Mr. Pastor, that you do have a lot of randy 16 year old teen males who frequently confess to you that they’re horn dogs, asking is masturbation a sin, or who confess to looking at “Penthouse.”

But you know, there are still about (my figure may be wrong, but I think it’s around) one third of adult Christians who have not had sex yet, and some are over the age of 30. Some unmarrieds may engage in fornication or struggle with the temptation, but not all.

I was at another blog a few days ago, where a Christian guy was discussing why he almost gave up on the Christian faith.

He got divorced. I think he was in his 30s or 40s when he got divorced. After his divorce, he sank into a deep depression. He confided in his deacons at his church about how depressed he was.

He got a phone call late one night from one of these deacon guys who said, “You must be struggling with pornography. TELL ME THE TRUTH ARE YOU LOOKING AT PORN?”

The guy said, “No.” (And he was not). The deacon guy responded, “You can tell me the truth. I bet you are looking at porn! It’s a temptation for a lot of guys!”

I read this guy’s testimony and was dumbfounded.

It is just assumed that because he is divorced now that he’s looking at porn? A lot of married Christian men are addicted to porn. (Some married Christian women have also admitted to having online porn or dirty movie addictions.)

Based on studies I have read, lots of people in marriages or dating relationships get involved in porn because they find sexual release over porn easier or more rewarding than with their partner ((Link): here is one page that discusses it).

The same studies and other studies say that porn usage changes the brain’s chemicals, so that the person craves more porn.

These studies say it gets to the the point where boyfriends and husbands PREFER air brushed, fake women in dirty sites and magazines to their flesh and blood partners.

It’s very insulting, ignorant, and unhelpful for Christians to continue to assume and uphold this stereotype that sexual sin is the snare or province of unmarried people only, when it appears to be a larger problem among the married.

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